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    false awakening

    False Awakening

    1. The Book of Secrets

      by , 02-27-2017 at 09:13 PM
      27 Feb

      I'm in a room with lots of DCs. Some of them are leaving for an event. There are different kinds of chocolate boxes at a nearby counter. The DCs go to get chocolate, leaving a bit of a mess. I take couple of chocolates as well and consume them slowly. There's a particular idleness in my mind. I recall I was trying to fall asleep. Something tells me I can already act as if in the dream. I look around - indeed it's a dream. In still somewhat clouded awareness I recall about totm.

      This is now incorporated in the dream - there's a room where people do the current totm. It then changes to totm suggestions written on the door. Spellbee has suggested that we do programming def functions which appear on the door.

      My awareness increases and I now have greater clarity. I decide to leave this place and look for a window or door. I opt for the nearest door though a bit afraid I may end up in a labyrinth inside a building rather than outdoors. There's an unappealing old corridor with worn out walls. Luckily, after I reach its end is another door leading outside.

      I'm now walking near a wall, wondering what will be on the other side once I glance at it. A couple of blocks like those in my hometown appear. I stop to contemplate briefly on this entire process. How and why did these blocks appear, from all the possible items and images that could have been assembled. Did I think them up? Why precisely these objects and not something else. I stare in the distance ahead, thinking that I am not seeing images. What I am seeing are endless possibilities of what could be there.

      After the feeling of amazement has subsided a bit, I decide to get back to the totms. I am now on top of the wall and think about summoning the book of secrets from the basic task. To do so, I cover the top of the surface with my palm, moving it slowly to reveal the book behind. A red leather book promptly appears underneath with to my suprise the title Book of Secrets. It has relatively few pages and they are all leather. On the first browse there's a list of words with positive qualities or goals. One of the words is "innocent". I try to memorize two more words but forget them after wake. The entire book has a rather medieval appearance. The rest of the pages contain portraits of figures of importance like cardinals or archdukes. I browse one last time to find pictures of weird experiments that were done at the time. Some sort of medieval type of scientific research.

      Memory gap. There were several moments of the dream thinning out and me back to bed and back to dream, ruining coherent recall.

      The next scene I remember, I am still lucid and inside a room talking to a DC. I want to continue with totms and the task I recall next is the advanced one to change the weather. I confidently ask the DC for help - "There's something you can help me with. I know you can do this!" We are near a window and I can see the outside ground. It's not too evident which season it is - just bare ground, but I need it to be definitely winter.

      I turn my back so that I don't see the outside world but face the DC. She is looking outside and waves her hands around as if she is painting the snow. I then turn around and look again - now everything is covered with snow! Alright, now we need for spring or summer to come. I turn myself around and let the DC do her magic again. I look back and the snow-covered ground is now green grass. There's a weird bird resembling a toucan but much larger walking on the grass. Its beak is very unusual - a shiny green color. A closer look reveals that its beak is actually a purely reflective mirror-like surface and the green is just the grass being mirrored. Now there are several of these birds with shiny green beaks, black feathers with strangely warped structures. I am amazed at the kinds of stuff dreams can come up with.

      I take one last look at the weather transformation - despite the season change, it's still a bit dark and cloudy. To let the sunshine in, decide to get rid of the clouds. First, I stretch my arm and literally pick a few clouds from the sky as if they were nearby objects. Moreover, I get the sudden desire to try to blow the rest of the clouds away. I do it and it actually works! Now the scene is much brighter.

      The dream soon thins out and I feel my body once again. I fall asleep almost immediately and end up in another room. I feel this dream idleness which makes me realize I am still dreaming. I come up with a funny song and start dancing around while DCs stare at me.
      Pretty fast this time, the dream disappears, I feel my body once again and wake up.

      Updated 02-27-2017 at 09:20 PM by 61764

      lucid , false awakening , memorable , task of the month
    2. Headstand

      by , 01-25-2017 at 10:18 PM
      25 Jan


      I am falling asleep in a sort of FA. I am now sure that if nothing else works to induce a lucid, it will help me become lucid if I write it down on a piece of paper. light sleep.

      I am now deeper in the dream and ascertain that my paper writing induction albeit done in-dream is indeed effective. I'm fully aware staring at the sheet of paper with the words LUCID written. My grandma comes in the room and starts cleaning the table, asking me a million questions. I know it's a dream and there's no point answering, so I tell her to let me concentrate. She refuses to acknowledge it being a dream and keeps on asking me stuff, so I have to move to the side to avoid being distracted.

      I tk a number of small household objects, then tk the door handle and finally the door to the balcony open. I go outside, thinking that I have no idea what to do for points and regretting not making a more comprehensive list of things. The sky is mostly sunny, so I decide to darken it, although it pains me a bit to ruin a beautiful sunny day. The result is a greyer sky but not completely overcast. I also make a thunder sound in the distance.

      Not sure what to do next, I opt for using some weird machine part help me get down from the balcony to the ground (as opposed to jump/flight due stability). There are couple of DCs being rather loud near the corner so I go check what's happening. Nothing too unusual, just a family walking and laughing.

      I recall now I wanted to do the headstand challenge and look towards the street. At the moment the street's empty, but the cars are about to soon reach my target section, coming from the nearby street. Nevertheless, doing the headstand in the middle of the street seems tremendously appealing. I briefly wonder what's gonna happen once the cars start coming, but decide that I can handle it. Actually, the way I start doing the headstand is with my back to the cars - that in a way solves the problem (no seeing, no thinking, therefore they don't exist). Two DCs come distract me as I do the headstand. I scold one of them and tell him to assist me instead and help get my legs straight pointing towards the sky. I had reservations about being upside down in this posture and the dream collapsing but it doesn't. I stay a bit more, then get up.

      We continue to walk down the street with one of the DCs. At this stage I already feel "memory flood" and inability to save/recall some of the details of the dream. At any rate, quite happy this dream already lasted longer than expected and keeps on going. I look over one of the buildings and see the sun shining again, now it seems closer to sunset. I really like how the sun moved like that during the dream, giving quite of a realistic feel of time. The sunset may in addition mean that the dream is coming to an end, I think.

      I recall the basic totm of finding a present under the Christmas tree. A while ago we passed by a nice Asian food shop and lots of other items on a long street I can't recall. I decide to go back in that direction, since I feel it will be much easier to find a tree there. Indeed, in front of one cafe is a large decorated Christmas tree. To summon the present, I say to the DC, I clearly recall they were exchanging gifts in the cafeteria and and am sure they forgot one. I stretch my hand and without looking feel a package right underneath the tree. It contains what looks like empty jewellery carton box and a card. I become very curious and want to read the card although I feel the concentration may have a negative effect on the dream. I try to read the handwriting, which changes from well wishes, to random fortunes, to advertising. Finally, there is a small sheet of stickers for a board game.

      The nearby Asian shop looked quite attractive, so I decide to go back and try some foods. In a small fridge they had really cool drinks made from fruits that don't quite exist and also are processed in extraordinary ways. Me and this DC whose apperances keep changing grab a small chocolate bar each. It melts easily and tastes really sweet.
      As we get out of the shop, I begin to lose lucidity. The DC now turns to boyfriend and we get into a discussion. The desire to get more of the cool drinks overcomes me and my awareness increases again, although not as high as before. To summon drinks, I call one of the girls who was working in the store, going a bit back to where we were before. Sure enough, the store appears, now at a completely different place and a different store, but that doesn't matter, it still looks pretty fancy and serves drinks. The girl that works there comes with a bottle full of freshly made exotic drink and a small glass of red juice. She spills the glass, but I am still able to have a try from what's left. It tastes quite nice. I wake up.
    3. Huge tire, subliminal dream signs

      by , 01-21-2017 at 12:49 AM
      20 Jan

      I find myself on the street with a decent amount of awareness. Hey, finally, I note to myself, I am actually asleep and lucid. I cautiously examine the trash cans and trees in front of me. I know there is no time to lose and I have to get the 3 step tasks going. Step one is telekinesis. I look around for a movable object. There a tire hanging from one tree but it as I try to TK it, it gets larger and larger and actually is now part of a construction and totally unmovable. Okay, let's try something else. I spot couple of leaves on the street which easily move but I am not convinced as it could be the wind. Finally, there's a ball that I tk around for a while.

      It's a bright sunny day and am in the middle of a small park. I recall I had another brief ld earlier in the night. It's time to get started on the next step of the 3 step task - use a device. Couple of DC boys hold what looks like a mobile, but I find it easier to use mine. I put my hand into my pocket trying to get the phone out. As I do this, I feel my physical eyes move excessively, which make the dream collapse. I believe I am back to my bed and give up (actually it's just the void with only tactile sensations).

      I have a short FA near a cool pool on a very sunny day and the music is playing "bai zi hua bai zi hua", one of my other goals. I walk around non-lucidly though and soon wake up.
    4. Blanket lady

      by , 07-30-2015 at 12:48 AM
      A series of FAs where I am trying to fall asleep while a DC keeps distracting me so I can't seem to transition. After a few more FAs, I realize the previous ones were actually dreams so should have already acted there.

      Scene change, some on and off lucidity scenario with family members at grandma.

      Inanimate object - blanket lady

      A bit later, I get a wave of really strong awareness and remember thanks to reading other people's reports the inanimate object task. There is a blanket so I lift it up with some sort of thought control and say hello. I begin to laugh and it answers me with a creepy echo laughter. Moreover, it turns and twists and becomes the upper part of an 18th century woman. In the dream I try to memorize the shape to eventually draw it later on.


      After this I take quite a while trying to remember any other tasks. I am even overly concerned that all this strain will certainly end the dream, but luckily it doesn't and I recall the clone task. I try to think about myself while turning around but nothing happens. I decide to half close my eyes, risking the dream disappearing while thinking of an image of myself but again nothing happens. Finally, I decide to open the door and expect to see her/me there. This seems to work and I finally meet her. We go into the corridor where there are a number of somewhat harassing DCs and then into the kitchen. I have no idea what to do with my clone though, so we just walk around from room to room until her features change.

      Then I spot Gordon Ramsay who looks very tired and I try to talk to him. Fluctuations in lucidity, rises up again while I speak to him. He asks if I can hear him well. There are distortions in the direction of the sound for a moment.
      The alarm wakes me up.
    5. The monster under the bed

      by , 05-17-2015 at 07:31 PM
      Date: 16 May


      I fall asleep and have a brief non-ld where I am with family members in this unfamiliar house. It's dark in the room and I am trying to fall asleep but they keep on talking so loud. At some point everybody leaves and I find myself in a large movie room with big screen TV and loud bass systems. I think to myself that I find it really weird people are so obsessed with these things. A large TV, so what? Now, it would be much cooler if actually you were making this whole TV into existence, if you were the cause of all the music - ie. if you are dreaming all this. Then this will give a whole new meaning to the experience. I take a moment to imagine how it would feel.

      Memory gap. I end up in another room where I feel my awareness come into focus and I realize that I made it to the dream. My mom is also here for a bit. I remember a few goals and also the advanced task of doing an in-dream wild and briefly consider trying it. However, this is not among the goals I reviewed during the wbtb and now I can't remember (also irl at the time of journalling) whether this is still the current month's task or already last month's. I decide I don't want to end up doing an old task and drop it altogether. There is a large earth globe in the completely empty now narrow room and I do a mix of telekinesis and wind blowing it around wondering if that would count towards air bending. After I have enough fun with levitating it around, I recall the other basic task - become friends with the monster under your bed.

      I move forward and cautiously open the door to the next room, hoping this will work to reveal something handy. It opens into a dark room, which I disregard and continue forward. There is a bed just ahead of me and I lean down and look to see what's below. There is a ton of junk piled up. While I try to think of a monster being there I get a flash of disappearing transparent eyes. I decide to stare in the stuff below in the hopes that something will show up. After a while, I begin to see a movement under some rags and follow it. It stops and then starts at another place. I dig a bit to finally find the monster - a grey mouse! The little beast is so hyperactive it is hard to keep it in one place and as I try to hold it and make friends it even bites me! I think about the task again taking mental notes of what is going on. Ok, it has to calm down so I start caressing it. I do so for a bit until it finally calms down, I make another mental note about this and conclude that we are now friends.

      The dream seems to end but it's actually an FA. I find myself journalling a page and a half worth of dreams with a lot of details and also noting my goals for the next dream. The tablet then malfunctions and keeps giving me a gaming radar with the bad guys as red dots coming near. I'm getting really confused about this since I think I have solved all my problems for the moment. It then switches to a cool 16 bit game with characters unknown to me. I decide to play it for a bit and it actually works like a normal game - very complex and thoroughly thought out. Yet I can't comprehend how this game self installed on my tablet. Why do I have this game? And then it hits me! This is an FA and I just wrote a ton of dreams for nothing. But the game - well that was pretty awesome, I think to myself, I played quite a bit of a dream game. I'm super amazed at this. The dream soon ends.
    6. Inside the Pyramid

      by , 09-16-2014 at 08:26 PM
      Date: 25 Aug

      Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

      Cannot quite recall the exact beginning but remember willing the scene to appear as I was falling alseep. There were a number of coming into shape items and I told myself that my subcon is at this point trying to make something out of them so concentrate. There were a number of scenes.

      I don't recall what happened when I finally entered the dream but there was some active dream scenario going on.

      After looking around expectedly and not seeing a pyramid to enter, I notice people getting on a bus and wonder whether to give it a try. It doesn't strike me as possible to manipulate the dream as much as to be inside the bus while actually going somewhere and really get there but I give it a try. It's getting rather full, but I find a free seat and sit there. To be certain this tour bus is going in the right direction, I shout and make them all repeat "We are going to the Pyramid of Giza". Here I have thoughts about whether my throat is moving (DV thread) as I feel physical pressure while shouting.

      Don't recall getting off the bus and in the next scene I'm already inside this place with an atmosphere of an excavation dig. It looks as if I've made it past the pyramid's entrance and am now in how I in the dream more or less imagine its interior. It has the feel and look of a number of previous dreams about sightseeing in Egypt. Excited, I decide to explore the ancient Egyptian structure. There are two directions to go and after some maneuvering I orient myself towards what feels like the center.

      It is now quite lively, full of crowds of people getting in and coming out. While this should be the interior of the pyramid and be very spacey in my dreaming mind, it still feels to me as if I'm taking forever to walk towards the official "lobby". It's like a tourist attraction where you first have to go to the lobby/cashier and then enter a separate part with the things to see. On my way to the center, I pass by a girl with a pink feather on her head and my hand by mistake gets into her hair. As a result the feather falls from her head and then I take it. How weird, I think to myself, what my hand did. The feather is beautiful and as realistic as it gets, I'm very fascinated by the looks of it and the feel of the dream in general.

      As I continue on my way, the little girl catches up with me and starts whining about her feather. I tell her that I didn't mean to take it on purpose rather it just happened as an accident and give it back. She calms down continues towards the exit, while I continue my walk toward the center in this carpet covered corridor. I finally reach the center and what lies beyond. There is a large number of exhibition items on each side of the walls. At this point they are all Egyptian, way too many to be able to recall, but I remember a statue of Anubis in dark stone with decorations in green and gold, maybe a round necklace with green stone. I start thinking about how this place now almost completely resembles a museum and continue my walk, looking at the fancy items.

      The dream ends at some point. I stay still but it does take a bit longer.

      DEILD: As I fall asleep, I unconsciously grab onto the scene and make it so that the same place comes back. The ancient stuff is still around. There were also large columns at some point but I vaguely recall these. Just found it a bit weird to be back, as I wasn't too focused consciously on that. I continue my tour in this pyramid museum, going from room to room and looking at lots of exhibition items. This time they are more from classic and medieval ages and I see a room full of different sizes and styles of angel statues. They all look really cute and I wonder why do they have so many angel statues here.

      I continue down the corridors looking at items but soon hear angry shouts as if some sort of riot is taking place. I think about inception. They surely won't catch up with me, but despite my weak efforts to ignore them, the trouble makers are coming closer. Now I have a typical dream problem, I really want to leave this place but am trapped in an endless labyrinth of corridors and doors. There is a really weird looking one having a blurred net in front but I as I approach the net kind of disappears. I remind myself to think about outside, windows and things like that. I go through the door and finally in a room with a glass door leading to the outside. It looks locked but I open it just like that.

      A DC comes and starts talking about something, kind of trying to hijack the dream with their own scenario while I find myself staring at a pot full of poached eggs. For a moment I become distracted but then come to my senses again. There is a cool looking tower nearby and I head in its direction.

      Worried that it's time to wake up, I end up having an FA where I press the snooze button and wild in dream. A brief ld moment in a grandma's place before I wake up for real.

      Updated 09-16-2014 at 08:29 PM by 61764

      lucid , non-lucid , false awakening , memorable , dream fragment
    7. Calcifer

      by , 08-08-2014 at 11:43 PM
      Date: 08 Aug

      Pre bed: 1/2 cup soy milk, 350 mg arginine (combo)

      Wbtb: 1/2 latte, felt discomfort due heat which made it harder to concentrate. I tried doing 1-2 ssild cycles to relax, but mostly gave up due discomfort.

      WILD: First was a transitional stage of me in bed and my body rotating, as I was trying to figure out which hands I'm moving. Kind of blurry memory here.

      This later switches to another scene in parents' old bedroom where I appear feeling rather floaty and unstablish. In front of me are wooden shelves, so I run my hands on the surfaces multiple times to anchor myself. At the same time a glass case catches my attention, where I can see my reflection - averagely normal with something weird lurking behind. As I turn around to see what it is I am faced by my own doppelgänger and she is somewhat aggressive. She throws herself on the ground initially in some sort of a unexplainable act. Then approaches menacingly but I put her on hold - at an arm's distance with my mind.

      As I manage my own reactions she calms down and now I decide to look at her more closely and make some manipulations. What if I were taller and she is now much taller. I examine her with curiousity but still have a bit of an after feel of aggression so decide to make sure she is harmless. I give the overly tall DC a hug around the waist and watch as she changes features to a different DC.

      Then, I see the door behind her and feel like doing some tking. I look at it in order to will it open but the dream slips away.
      Back to my body and still for a DEILD

      DEILD: I appear on the balcony, the one that looks over to neighbors. Quite excited about being here as this brings memories of past non-lds. There is a guy that pushes me ahead (as to move further, him being quite active) as I examine the neighbors' balcony. The dream is rather unstable at this point but I'm glad to have a companion and cross over to the other balcony where there is some sort of mattress, thinking both of us can sit here for a bit and plan the dream.

      Forgot the exact words now, but told him something like "let's talk about adventures" or so and was waiting for him to sit. He disappears in the kitchen (neighbors) but then is back again, wearing the same red t-shirt as I make a mental note (resembles somewhat Michael Cassidy).

      My voice is barely coming out as I say the adventure sentence and I wonder if it would count if I ask him about the basic task telepathically. But how is he going to answer? Too complicated and I decide to go with normal speech, struggle to speak but finally ask him.

      His reply is "Woof" which sounds as if he is barking.

      Me: "Woof?", are you sure?

      He: Uhum. (as in yes)

      Me: Ok, then. So what does that mean?

      He: Hoof.

      I ask for confirmation and he gives me another uhum. Oh well. The dream soon falls apart. I'm not feeling quite in shape to deild so let it go at this point and after a brief ld review go to sleep.

      Non-memorable dreams, something vivid that forgot and then.

      LD: I am near this familiar building. Something clicks and I recognize this as place of older dreams. There was a false memory or thought about the place too. I get inside and decide to experiment with door summons to see where they lead. I open a door - there are two DCs coming out of something that looks like a sparsely furnished bathroom. I don't quite like it, so close the door and wait a bit till it changes to try again.

      In the meantime, more DCs appear around me and one of them makes aggressive moves towards me. After an initial super strength outburst, which comes out like some sort of a force push, I decide to chill out and try to calm them down while taking a moment to examine my inner state. I'm still slightly apprehensive of them, so try to control my own reactions and feel more at ease. From the tense situation I work on my indifference, relaxing more and at some point I start walking around freely and making funny zen moves (but not the Xanous move alas!). Don't remember when but at some point the dream ends.

      Lucid FA: I wake up at home, the room looking very realistic and bf is walking around. I decide to play a bit stupid and ask him if I'm dreaming couple of times as if I've lost my mind and can't tell that this is reality. He reacts almost normally but I am still unconvinced. There's something in his reaction that is a bit off. "Hey, am I dreaming?", I continue shouting as he vanishes behind the corner. A female DC with a dark red cardigan comes in and then there is no more doubt. I feel a bit euphoric about being able to catch this fa as it felt like quite the thing I would have missed.

      Contrary to other times when I have entered the other room, it now turns to a different place altogether. At first I don't catch the clues, but after more examination of the classical wooden furniture, it clicks how this place can indeed be the interior of Howl's castle.

      Without any intention from my side, I notice that there is a fireplace to the side and the fire is as real as it gets. It dawns on me after seeing it that it is calficer. I approach the dream fire with astonishment for it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. It's not just a regular fire - there is so much light in it, it shines like a little star, while at the same time being surrounded by flames. I feel almost mesmerized by the sight of it and am so happy to have it in the dream.

      Spontaneously, I place my hands around the fire and try to absorb some of its heat and energy. As my hands get closer to the little fire, there is slight tension as in heat related sensation but insignificant to dwell on. In the meantime, the fire gets smaller and smaller as if this process is really draining it. I don't want to do away with it altogether so stop whatever it is I'm doing. The thought crosses my mind that I have spent way too long playing around and risk not completing the task because of that.

      I face the room and see that the girl is here again. Now she has a pony tail, blue top and and slightly disturbing facial hair. As I approach her, her face clears a bit and I ask her couple of times if she is Sophie, to which she replies yes.
      Perfect, now all I need is a door.

      There's a small door on the wall that I open, but it turns more into a small window, plus I need to turn the color dial wheel first. I face the other wall where there is a white door and look to see if there is a dial next to it - there isn't. I recall couple of techniques I thought of using in such case, but instinctively pick another one. Bf's DC is just nearby so I ask him to hand me a dial wheel to put next to the door.

      He gives me a round knob-like white object that I place next to the door, cover with my hands and start spinning, until the second layer of it starts to reveal multiple colors. Initially it stops on blue, then it moves to orange. I feel like I want to pick a particular color but am not quite sure which one. I rotate it to yellow, remarking to myself this is taking way too much time. Curious whether the outside will be the same as what can be seen through the nearby window (garden), I think it's high time to stop messing with the wheel dial and open the door.

      But it's too late - the dream abruptly ends and I find myself in bed, moving my hand and feels like I've lost the opportunity to go back and complete the task.
    8. Blinding light

      by , 06-26-2014 at 09:49 PM
      Date: 25 Jun

      Pre bed: 40mg B6

      Woke up a million times during the night, but not once attempted to deild/wild, etc.

      Wbtb: 1/2 latte but was somewhat less wakeful than necessary

      HI: with Sensei (only team colors this time, my name in green, his in silver )

      Fell asleep in rather heavy sleep.

      LD: I'm using the tram without a ticket and am worried about that but don't realize it's a dream till later.

      At some point I'm on the street lucid and do some spontaneus flying again. I see this guy from school and decide to fly towards him, where I focus on my hands being on his shoulder and speed fly/zoom to move there. I recall to seek Sensei but decide the dream needs stabilizing and spend a few seconds feeling the texture of the guy's jacket. He says a few words and I probe whether he can talk but he mostly replies with gibberish.

      We continue down the street and there's another guy with him. It gradually gets darker till it's as dark as night. I gaze at a distant light that's so bright it leaves an after image. I think about asking about this on DV. This doesn't make things better for my vision as everything around fades into darkness. I address the guys and tell them to fix this, that we need some color but the they don't help much. The physical sensations are still here, so I decide to bring back the scene by engaging in action and begin to strip one of the guys.

      A scene appears in full color but for some reason this has the effect of an FA and I become very concerned about what I'm doing. A moment later wake up.

      Updated 06-26-2014 at 10:00 PM by 61764

      lucid , non-lucid , false awakening
    9. The beauty and the beast

      by , 02-09-2014 at 08:42 PM
      Date: 06 Feb

      Wbtb: 1/3 latte

      I have a number of short lds that I chain through the void. Summary

      LD: In my old room, stabilize by touching furniture. Notice that lamps are on. Find a newspaper I try to read with difficulty for a while. The lamps go off, I become blind and then the dream blacks to the void. I stay there for a bit, waiting for the next dream.

      LD: In a car, get out of the car, notice my reflection in the windows. Hair is the same, but it gets in my face, I make a ponytail. I want to change the scene, try splitting the space, I feel another place, but nothing visually changes. I get bored, allow myself to fall back. This yields a number of sensations as well as weightlessness. The dream fades to the void. I wait for the next scene.

      LD: I find myself in a nice hotel lobby, bright flowers decorate the place. Some guest DCs, a monk at the distance catches my attention, I go to check it out. The monk is gone but a few DCs are paying their respect to a metal statue. I have some mischievous thoughts, but bow down instead. There are two more statues (not in service), metal turtles. The dream fades to black, I stay still for DEILD but it takes a while.

      Review in head, feeling tired, I fall asleep.

      DILD+: on and off lucidity, FA, in- dream wild and sexy time

      DILD: I find myself in this familiar place and start looking at the plants near the windows, try some tk on them, but it doesn't work. I think maybe there's a reason for this. Then I turn to examine the room, everything looks kind of blurry and unstable. My attention is caught by those lamps - three lamps, I try to identify if they come from a memory or just random ones, it's like my vision almost splits in two and there is a fourth lamp, but I try to focus more and they're back to three. I mentally make a note of the bad quality, then go down the stairs. I immediately regret doing so, because I run into the B6 DC and she charges at me. At this moment, I become quite concerned that this might truly be some sort of evil entity just using her form to terrorize me. It's just too active, so lively in the eyes and so aggressive. I have no choice but to face her. I think I say a few words, but her mood remains the same. Then I decide this is a good opportunity to do my breathing and concentrate on that. I do this for a while. In the meantime, she seems to have changed her mind about attacking me and is weeping.

      Memory gap, possibly another blackout.

      DILD: On the street now and I see this empty space in the horizon and recall I wanted to use something like this to draw a mountain. A bit uncerain if the dream will last long enough, with all the blackouts and instability before. I decide to go ahead with the summoning, yet before I do any motions with my hands I notice that the space isn't quite empty. It looks like in the very distance, as if seeing through the fog is something that looks like a large mountain. As I keep staring at it, it becomes much clearer and closer, till I find myself looking at a solid spot of the mountain covered with grass. The surroundings have changed without me noticing and I am at the foot of this huge mountain. I cover the majority of it with snow until I feel it's enough for the task. Then I examine the slope, which is initially way too steep to enable any upward movements. This worries me but I move to a part of it and feeling very excited summon a pair of ski and ski poles.

      I totally can't believe the summon worked as I have nothing to do with this sport. Anyways, I start gliding up the slope, which by then is less steeper. Contrary to my expectations from real life, this is not as hard and actually pretty pleasurable. I glide upwards the slope which goes up and down and it feels as if I am on a roller coaster. Then I reach the top of the mountain and feel adventurous, contemplate on jumping from the top or skiing down. Yet before I can decide what to do, the momentum carries me forward and I continue moving in the air. I notice that I feel no switch in sensations from gliding on the mountain surface to this weird air movement. My mood is great, I gaze to what's ahead and not below me. It is a beautiful view of green plains, with a weird building with one-two statues in the distance and a very large gray palace next to it.

      At this time it clicks this could so well be the palace I wanted to summon (while reviewing tasks during wbtb). I'm still skeptic that will be able to make it and complete the entire task but give it a go. Don't remember flying for a long distance, it's like the palace became closer as I started to focus on the steps of the task. I go in what looks like museum palace lobby, there's some thematic furniture, long red carpet or velvet curtains, don't pay too much attention to them. I immediately think dad. That's actually quite easy and there he stands in one of the side corridors. I say a few words to him, to mentally confirm this is going the way it has to be. Then start looking for the beast but there is no one in sight.

      The room I'm in is pretty small and there are stairs going down and I go to the lower floor, looking for the beast. I run into an old Chinese man that I try to make look scary but no matter how much effort I put into this, he stays the same. I obviously start making scary faces and roar in an attempt to distort his features into evil ones, but he looks scared as hell and is shivering. I can't believe my DC is afraid of me and where is that beast? A couple of DCs that I don't pay much attention to appear and there it is - a disgusting beast. It looks like one H. Bosch's animals - a mixture of different animals, like a large pink pig and echidna, strange fur and the nose of a mole. It also is spitting something poisonous from its month and hissing. I so much regret not being able to summon my much now friendly looking lion man at this point.

      Disgusted, I approach the wild creature, tell him I love him (it) and kiss it near what looks like its mouth. I remain with my eyes closed and wait a bit, but can still feel this thing aggressively making breathing noises and moving around. I know the curse has to be broken but nothing happens, and I can't take the little bugger any more. It's somewhat smaller now - the size of a cat maybe and I throw it away where it gets under some furniture. That thing keeps making the sounds, but looks wounded and in the next moment I see that it gives existence to a DC that comes out from under the furniture. To my amusement, it is a female classmate. Good enough I suppose. The dream soon fades.
    10. Zoo

      by , 02-02-2014 at 02:51 AM
      Date: 24 Jan

      Pre bed: 200mg val, 50mg B6

      Wbtb: 1/4 latte

      Wasn't very wakeful even though repeated mantras a few times, fell asleep rather fast, had a few non-lds I can't recall

      DILD: I am having a tense conversation with this female DC I know. She starts criticizing me. I reply that as a revenge I will then do something to make her feel the same way she makes me feel with all her comments. While this is a rather habitual mental reaction, I notice that contrary to other times I don't feel anything at that very moment. Still, as part of my revenge scheme I take her and turn her upside down in front of all the DCs in the room to publicly humiliate her.

      As I stare at her, I notice that she just stays there, like a motionless puppet and become lucid. We're in a very large meeting room with a long table in the middle and lots of DCs participating in some corporate event. I'm in a daring mood and decide it's time to defy social rules by getting on the table in the middle of this meeting. Then I almost lose lucidity being carried away by thoughts of how all of the world's problems may be solved by by issuing unlimited credit cards to the entire population.

      I keep thinking about this issue as I leave the place and continue towards an unknown city center. There to help me focus more I shout out loud "I am dreaming". There was a slight instability so this helps me ground as well.

      Then I remember the invisibility task and go in the middle of the road pretending to be invisible.There are cars coming from all directions but as soon as I pay attention to them, they hit the breaks and spin a bit. I turn around and the same thing happens again. Then I see this huge truck coming in my direction. I start waving hands, checking if the driver can see me. He doesn't hit the brake or slow down and the truck is quickly coming closer. I step to the side to avoid the impact. There's little space between me and the truck, my uncontrolled expectations cause it to fall sideways on top of me, where I feel this huge weight on me. I try to move and free my head, but this results in a physical feeling, which gives me the impression I have just moved in my bed. I expect to wake up any moment but get an FA instead.

      I believe that I have woken up for real and the first thing I notice is this piano music coming from the outside. I'm actually in the neighbors where we used to live some time ago and look to find where the music is coming from. I see this girl that I remember (possibly from another dream but could be false memory) who got that piano there and something about her. As if that isn't enough, the balcony is crowded - many people in their 20s and 30s dressed with business attire as if attending some sort of event. I'm think this is just too much when I am trying to fall asleep and decide this can only be a dream, reminding myself that I was trying to ld. Can't member how, but it seems I lose consciousness after that and have another FA.

      I think in the beginning, I'm looking from the window to see what's down but then the scene changes and we move to this wooden porch. I initially see this strange big animal that looks suspiciously like a DS, I can't tell what kind of animal it is. Then there is a smaller one and I'm still trying to identify the large one. I'm starting to have some real doubts about this and begin to count the animals, one now looks like a bear and can't remember the rest but there's four of them. I conclude this is a dream and go to interact with one of the animals. It looks like a very large black boar/tapir and as I place my hand on its snout, it bites me and it even hurts.

      I move slightly to the left and examine the rest of the area, where I notice a number of elephant-like creatures. I think they are separated from the porch, but no cage, it looks much like in a zoo. At some point the elephants begin to distort in features, open mounts and start roaring very louldy in a generally unpleasant manner. I try to stop them by thinking I want them to stop, but nothing happens and more join the roaring event. I remain there staring at them as they do so, kind of calm, but there's also this deeper inner response to their roaring, which surely is what is affecting them. I think that the problem is exactly this feedback loop - I am thinking that they are roaring, therefore they continue roaring. Then conveniently, I recall the inivible task and think it can be applied quite nicely here. I think that I am invisible. To my genuine surprise, at this very moment all the roaring stops for good.

      I'm curisous to how far I can take this with my supposed invisibility and turn around and try to sneak out, while carefully listening for any reaction. The dream fades.

      Notes: I have reduced B6 dosage to 50mg as previously it made me too wakeful. Recent valerian series - characterized by difficult recall, lower lucidity levels and more bizarre occurrences, in particular animals.
    11. Love triangles and 3StepTasks

      by , 08-25-2013 at 02:03 PM
      Date: 25th Aug

      Pre bed: Gingko, Q10, peppermint oil capsule

      Total sleep time: 7 1/2 hrs

      Dream quality and recall: Vivid, bright colors, some positive moments, some annoying ones, evading recall

      Fragment: Some kind of reddish cliffs (similar to AF, but no water)

      Fragment: We are in school and there is some activity all of us are participating in. There are mostly sweaters on the desks with numbers on each pile. Each student is assigned a number and we are supposed to take the pile with our number somewhere.

      Dream: I meet my special friend and he is very friendly. We sit somewhere and he tells me all kinds of details about his life. Later on, I am at our old home and I can see him in the building in front of ours as he calls me on the phone. I pick up and my voice is barely coming out, I excuse myself but I know the reason is that I am feeling this strange way again...We arrange to meet.

      I wake up super happy, but sleepy and decide I will just review in head instead of taking notes.

      Dream: I am with my friend again. He is involved with an organization that brings poachers to the top of a hill, but the activity stops after they are discovered. There are no consequences for him. Later we are somewhere talking and he tells me he is working for some sort of zoo. I can't believe it! I actually think this must be fate that he is working for a zoo and I like animals so much. As he tells me about the zoo, I begin seeing images of animals, he says they have over a hundred pandas there and I reply that's impossible, then contemplate on the structure of the place.

      We go in this place which has a classical history exhibition. There are huge statues of Greek gods and special effects in each hall. The two I remember are different type of rain that is falling down in the rooms, one next to a statue of Zeus. I worry about my hairstyle due to the rain. We continue our tour and my bf appears to my left. My friend is holding my hand and I wonder about this, he has a gf and we are very good friends in dreams. Three of us stop in a corridor and my friend makes some remarks about us that seem to make my bf jealous. He also comments on his temper. I didn't expect my friend to behave like this and move closer to my bf, each guy is separated by his own window frame.

      Fragment: I am in front of grandma and bf's mom who looks like a mix of a teacher of mine and unknown people is recommending some dates for me to travel. I don't want to do this. There was something else as well, I can't remember. My classmate appears and makes a few jokes that improve my mood. Then we are all supposed to listen to the anthem but I couldn't care less. People disapprove of my behavior.

      Dream: FA, I am journalling about the previous dream, trying to put the dates from the previous dream down, but the calendar is missing the dates. In the meantime, bf is behind me reading the journal and I feel a bit embarrassed.

      Dream: Grandma is sleeping and I am sleeping on her, she changes positions, and I am careful not to wake her up. I have a look at her legs and think about how well she always looked. Then see some veins and other stuff and wonder about age. There is some sort transparent plastic bra/shirt that is filling with blood and I tell grandma who is now awake to take it off. My dad comes to help drain the blood off the device. It looks more like passata and we get into a discussion about what exactly is going on. We have to smell the stuff, now in a cup to confirm what it is, it smells like chicken broth.

      LD: I am in my other grandma's kitchen and become lucid. There's a smart looking DC, blond hair, bright clothes, and I say a few words to him. My mind is kind of foggy as I can't remember any tasks I am supposed to be doing. I ask him for help with advanced TOTM and he looks pretty confident and starts walking around supposedly to show me what I should do. I can't remember the advanced task at all! I rely on him to tell me and he says something like "fire". Hmmm, I know there was something related to fire, but still can't remember, was it burn someone's house down or what? I am not sure I want to do this.

      Anyways, I move to the next room, which exists only in dreams, it's full of brightly colored objects and number of DCs but I don't take a closer look. I finally remember I have to do the three step task for the competition. Phase. No, interact with DC, ok, already did that. Next one is phase, keep your eyes open. There is a wall but I don't want to go through it as I may end up in the void, so I decide to go through the glass door just next to it. The patterns on the door are such that one only vaguely sees the room and stuff behind it. Keep the eyes open, I remind myself and push forward. As I do, the blurred shapes behind the glass door become sharper in front of my eyes as I get in the room. Absolutely cool effect, I am thinking! I recall CL's enhancing dream vividness tech too, but am not sure how to proceed about it. The dream is quite vivid and stable anyways.

      Now in the room, I see two Korean women reading a newspaper. I have a look at what's written there and think about how I am going to describe it. It looks like Korean, yet it isn't as the letters as different. I am beginning to feel exhausted, some sort of weakness plus heaviness in the head, so decide to move on. What was I supposed to do next? Advanced summon, I am thinking about summoning something extraordinary. I am looking out the window while I do this, see the skyline of some unknown city. The idea was to summon Angel Falls, but I feel like dream control is very hard in this place. Yet, the moment I think about the waterfall, right in front of my eyes and in the distance of the city appears a large structure of falling water. I concentrate on it and start manipulating it to make it Angel Falls but get something like a long protruding towards me half of a bridge and the water turns to shredded material that is waving in the wind in my direction.

      I am still not sure whether that counts as advanced summon, so look in the other direction where there are yellow trees and see if I can make some special effects appear there. I almost zoom out of the room as I do that, but the dream seems to be fading away so I go back the way I entered and head to the living room. This place still has the layout of my grandma's place. As I go down the corridor, I hear a roar-like sound and think to self "Nooo", anticipating an unpleasant surprise. I cautiously approach the living room only to see an old slightly overweight Thai man trying to fall asleep on the couch. His wife is also there talking to him. He tells me something about me having eat to the fish he cooked and being offended. There's a small piece of fish next to a piece of carrot on the chair and I taste it, tastes like poached salmon. I then go into the kitchen thinking what to do now, having the impression this dream is generally very stable and control might be hard. I compare this to sivanson's cities in the astral and wonder if this is something similar where they might have imposed restrictions on gravity. The dream slowly fades.

      I wake and rush to take notes.
    12. Too much dopamine

      by , 08-23-2013 at 01:20 AM
      Total sleep time: 8 hrs

      Pre bed: nada

      Dream quality and recall: average vividness, deep sleep and challenging recall

      Comment: there was an increase in emotions during daytime, which is evident in the dream as well.

      Early fragment: some story about dreaming and accounting for lds

      Dream: I am waiting for the train, then get on it. A friend of mine is supposed to sit next to me but goes in the other carriage instead. I am taking my shoes off, white socks. The guy next to me is already asleep. Then the perspective changes and I see four of them - friends dining together (without me). I become enraged and show them the finger. They raise their glasses and so do I. My shirt now has wine stain that I try to clean with a cloth, but the cloth is dirty so it gets worse. Then I remember that I can use bread and ham to clean it, just like my dad did. I also take a bite out of my "detergent".

      Fragment: A girl from my class is attracted to me and is kissing me. Later the class meets and I have some concerns about her kissing me in front of others. (I don't even like her irl)

      WBTB (+had some anxiety thoughts initially)

      Mini-ld: I have a FA at home with the person I was thinking about in the beginning of the WBTB. He irritates me and I become angry shouting at him. I realize this is a dream (I read something about karma and emotions during dreams yesterday). My anger vanishes and I make a remark about this. I go on to leave the building. Unfortunately, I don't remember if I phased or how I got outside, just that I was trying to fly down. So I am on a balcony or window and want to fly down the way the girl does in the end of Crouching tiger Hidden dragon, slowly. I succeed in controlling the speed of the flying till I reach the ground, then I go up again. I think I woke up soon after that.

      No notes, went back to sleep.

      Mini-ld fragment: I am in an unfamiliar room and there is a man in front of me and suddenly I shout at him my anxiety thoughts. Again, I realize this is a dream, I am quite happy I was able to catch this again. I apologize, the man smiles. Unfortunately, I can't recall anything else, the dream ends with the void. I shortly try to summon Angel Falls, but the position which I am imagining myself is making me feel uncomfortable. The images fade away.

      Mini-ld: I am on the street but feel like my dream control is not working very well because everybody is walking towards me daringly. A dog charges at me and I start some sort of thought/control manipulation to stop it, but in the end grab it and put it on my shoulder/head and neutralize it. Three female DCs are bothering me, I have no idea what they want. I remember I can escape from them by flying, so I fly just a bit above them. However, they can still reach me and I am coming down against my will. I only know one other way to deal with them and ask them if this is what they want. They say yes and I rip one of the girls' clothes off. I wake up before any censure is necessary.

      Fragment: Thus guy I know is giving an interview for the newspaper

      Updated 08-23-2013 at 02:03 AM by 61764

      dream fragment , lucid , non-lucid , false awakening
    13. Going Forward

      by , 08-05-2013 at 07:53 PM
      Date: 5th Aug

      Total sleep time: 7 hrs<

      Pre bed: Calcium&Magn, 100mg B6

      Natural wakes: 6x, vivid dreams after each, lazy to record, also mislaid notebook

      Early dream(+3 hrs?): a memory of a lucid, where I didn't do anything in particular? We were gathered on street around a fountain/pillar?

      Dream: An emotional personal dream with a rather unpleasant outcome. Sadness and anger.

      Dream: Sitting on the table of a local cafe. My high school classmates smoke cigarette after cigarette. I am thinking about that, blowing out clean air in front of me.

      Dream: A bit like a FA, or was it a dream, this was more hearing the dream than seeing it. Mom is talking with dad that she regrets not noticing the details of her dream, because this is the third time she actually has a lucid.

      LD: After trying to fall asleep for a while after the natural wake, I catch myself in the midst of a dreamlet. I see my bf already in the dream on the street, but I am still there more of a side spectator than an in-dream presence. My bf starts doing repetitive movements with his hands as if he is entering the dream as well. I concentrate and soon my hands and body appear in the dream. I have a little trouble moving, feel my body slightly paralyzed, but am relaxed about it and just wait. Bf gives me a hand and pulls me closer, which helps me become more solid. He is very friendly and nicer than most of his DC appearances and I wonder whether this could be a shared dream. I walk on the street for a bit, but things destabilize, then the dream is possibly back again. Memory gap?

      I have no idea what happened but now am on the roof floor of a building with lots of kids around. I think I lost my lucidity or am quite distracted at this point. The kids are playing with two balloons, one red and one blue, and I am getting closer to the edge of the building as they almost throw one of the balloons too far. I have worries about falling down. Then I go over one of the kids and tell her to turn off/change the music. Here I regain my lucidity as I try to go down while I get a strange fear of heights. I conclude that when people feel this fear they enter a similar to the dream state while awake. Some sort of exaggerated anxiety mood.

      I am now one floor below, with my bf and a number of DCs next to me. I decide to ask my bf about the meaning of life. Again, he looks more like himself here. At first he answers something about "going forward", which I very much like. I tell him to repeat it again but instead he says "I like going back and forward" and then blurts out "Money". This disappoints me a bit. I want to get more and better answers so ask another DC. This guy looks falsely familiar and initially gives me the impression I might have encountered a real dreamer as he begins to ponder the question. But then he just keeps repeating "mmm" and "mmmhum" and doesn't say anything. I am annoyed and feel the dream is slipping away as I have been waiting too long. The dream stops but instead of going through the void, I lose consciousness. It takes maybe about 10 seconds and I am back in the dream.

      I was in some sort of a corridor before and now I go into the next room where there are a lot of DCs from my class. I want to ask once again, so I organize those DCs which are now around 20 to gather in front of me as if I am about to take a picture of them. I then make an intro and ask them what the meaning of life is. Lots of my classmates raise hands and I select K. who is smiling to answer. She starts a long speech about happiness. She doesn't say anything exciting, just tells me about her life. I have no more interest in getting the question answered. I then address the whole class and ask them if they know what a lucid dream is and if they have had one. A few try to say something, but it is really hard to concentrate as there are too many DCs in the room. I tell them that this is a lucid dream, but then begin to worry that I might actually be having a shared dream with someone and they might think I am crazy. I leave them to talk with one another. I lose consciousness again, the dream is back in a few seconds. (no void)

      I am trying to think of more tasks when I see this pretty Asian girl maybe around 20 years old. I start having distracting side thoughts and want to get close to her but she looks scared and tries to run away. I relax a bit and so does she. She lies on my lap as I marvel her beautiful hair and caress her. When she stands up, I notice she is wearing a knee-length dress. I know it is a bad idea to do it temptation-wise, but I just can't resist and start licking her leg. (Yes, I have a problem!) I notice how super real her leg looks, feels and tastes (a bit salty). I am still considering whether I should fully indulge or try to remember and do other tasks, when the dream suddenly ends.
      I stay still, but am too wakeful to DEILD or fall asleep.

      Comments: I did some quick reading related to neurotransmitters and noticed that B6 plays a role in the synthesis of five: serotonin, dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine and GABA. So, after the intake of B6 it is likely that my levels of these increase.The usual effects for me are earlier onset of memorable dreams (today first wake was at plus 3hrs), emotionally loaded dream contents (often aggressive DCs, sometimes me running away, i.e. fight or flight response, also some sexy moments), reduced sleepiness/increased alertness. After thinking about the effects, it looks like one neurotransmitter receives a significant boost and influences the overall mood of the dream - dopamine. I feel that this information finally coming to my attention is important as it increases my understanding of dream intensity and may help me eventually achieve better control during lds.
    14. REM and LD rebound

      by , 07-09-2013 at 05:06 PM
      Date: 08 July

      Pre bed: 100mg B6

      Total sleep time: 9 hrs

      Sleep quality and recall: I have been sleep deprived for a number of days in a row, so I really needed my sleep. As soon as my more memorable rebound began (after 4.5 hrs of sleep and an involuntary WBTB), I went directly into a lucid, took key notes only, went back to bed to have another chain of lds. Sleep was the priority so only took brief notes. Also due to deeper sleep in which I think these LDs occurred plus them being one after the other, I was going deeper into the dreamworld and some details were lost.

      Early dream: I am in some house and think about a family friend who's visiting in the dream. She will sleep in a particular room, I am now in the room and examine two beds, and a very long couch and make some comments about that. Soon she comes in and we start talking. I am very happy to see her, so I hug her and kiss her on the cheek, one side only, and she does exactly the same, which I find a bit strange. She has short ginger/copper hair, a really beautiful color and looks much younger and as if she has lost some weight compared to rl.

      Fragment: my dad was involved. I just remember cleaning something outside, wearing a short top which makes me feel uneasy as some guys are staring at me, so I go inside.

      LD1: My first memory is that I am standing and possibly I wake in this bed in a room that vaguely reminds me of my first room. It is dark and there is a sense of creepiness and I explore around as the room changes to a larger apartment. Unfortunately, I don't have much memory of what I looked at in the first part of this ld. This took some time and then I look out if the window and see some strange graffiti. This whole thing is moving and it looks like a picture of graffiti next to another picture of graffiti, below and above each more graffiti pictures and some people there as well. It looks insane/trippy. There seems to be some story developing as outside on the street and to the right some kind of danger is making these people on the graffiti window want to run away. I briefly wonder about what kind of supp I took this night and remember it was the B6, which slightly worries me. (I tend to have more aggressive/chaser dreams with it). Yet, I try to control my reaction as I really don't want to spend the ld running from this thing.

      I concentrate on other items in the room. Some kind of a cupboard or whatever, I just see thousands of tiny objects, each one is different and unique. I am literally overwhelmed with detail and unable to remember any particular item. The images remain stable. While this is extremely interesting and I enjoy examining these items, I realize that one can sink to uncontrollable depths due to indulging and decide to move on. I see a glass door and just pass through it as if it is nothing, and wonder a bit about that. I also briefly check out my reflection on this glass door. This room is also very dark and I really don't feel like exploring in this condition as I begin to worry I might meet something I am not going to like.

      I try to back off but then get paranoid that I am summoning something as I keep on staring at the darkness behind a door. Soon something begins to form there and comes towards me. Luckily, I only managed to get some grey formless furniture to appear from the door and come towards me. As it gets in my proximity, I instinctively lift it with my mind, and hold it in the air for a while. This reminds me of various tasks that were included in the competition, and I go through my own tasks, but most of them involve some DCs. The only one that I remember I can do here is to transform into a tiger. I simply think of that, and possibly because I am so deep into the dream, it is quite easy. I immediately find myself on fours, and check if my paws are those of a tiger, they are! The only problem I seem to have is with my head/neck. There is some tension and I am unable to look ahead as my head is facing the floor. I am trying to fix this but it doesn't work much and I experience all kinds of weird sensations, connected to vision, my body, floating, etc.

      I think this is how the dream ends. I wake up feeling very sleepy (some 5 hrs after bed), take some key notes and review in mind as not to forget. I also think that there was another task that I can do without DCs, swallow fireworks. I fall asleep again.

      LD2: I find myself in what looks like my first room again, some floating feeling again, and I am in a normal upright position. Something about this whole thing feels weird as I am thinking what the hell am I doing here, I realize this is a dream just like some time ago. The room is dark again and I remember how this is not an issue for Xanous anymore, but it certainly bothers me, it is just unpleasant, and not just the darkness, but rather the whole atmosphere.

      I remember that I don't have to be confined to using conventional means so decide I will use a flashlight to help me. (I had previously thought about this) I look around and there are all kinds of things on the furniture but no flashlight. At this time, I remember that there was this other no DC fireworks task that I can still do and look for some fireworks among the objects, but don't find any. My memory is a bit vague as to what I do afterwards. After spending some more time looking around, I finally gather the courage to risk and phase through the wall or some furniture on the wall. It swallows me and I float in the void.

      LD3 fragment: I am in some other room but this time it is daytime. I am examining the surroundings, very enthusiastic, but don't remember almost anything. I want to go outside so I carefully climb on the window and try to cross over to the street. As I do, I feel as if I am phasing, but do some movements to emerge through this invisible sticky water-like material, and hold on to the dream. I lose my balance and fall forward, ending up in the void, where I am floating and rolling at the same time.

      LD4: I suddenly find myself in a room, that slightly looks like that of bf. Bf is to my left and we are discussing something. I am facing a wardrobe with a mirror and notice that am wearing a long Chinese dress. It looks a bit strange since I can't figure out why am I dressed like that. I take a closer look in the mirror. Not only that but I just look ridiculous, it is oversize, my hair is kind of weird too. This is a dream. OK, so finally I can do TOTM. I hug my bf's DC, hold like that for a while, then wait for a reaction. He doesn't do anything just breathes and there are some hissing-like sounds coming from him. He finally manages to whisper the word "something". I step back and look at him. While I consider him to be my bf he is a different DC now, more like Nicolas D'Agosto.

      There is something unpleasant about him, but his proximity triggers some sexual desires on my part and I start thinking of what to do. I tell myself that it is ok to do that if I want to and think about DV and how people are fine with it, and how I am going to report that...So I am very close to him, both of us with clothes and I am struggling with myself as he just waits there. Two opposing forces are acting on me until I finally manage to move away and just observe him for a bit.

      I remeber other tasks with DCs - "assign a DC", I feel like there's no sense in doing that, then "ask a DC". This one sounds good so I decide to go ahead and ask him where my phone is. (I lost a phone at home). He is totally dumb and doesn't say anything just assumes some strange waiting for me to jump on him kind of position.
      The dream fades?

      LD5: I am in my high school and bf's mom is also there.I am still lucid but this is extremely hard now as I feel I am sinking deeper into sleep. I am mostly worried that all lucid memories will be totally lost as I haven't journaled and try to remember how many lds I had before. I count four. I continue down the corridor, float and fly up the stars in yet another float/fly style with my hands locked like in a prayer/or like I am swimming. As I float up, I just remember the ld with the tiger transformation and the issues I had with my head. I can somehow compare the experiences and sensations during both events (transformation and current float moving).

      My floating is somewhat hard to control not in terms of where I am going but in terms of how I'm seeing. It's like I am in weightlessness turning over randomly, seeing the world upside down, sideways, etc. As I am trying to figure out a solution for these problems, the dream fades, and I if I recall correctly I float in a similar way in the void.
      Or maybe not. I spent so many dream ends shortly floating in the void that night, it is getting hard to distinguish those.

      LD6: I wake up my first room, on the bed, it is dark. I get a bit tired of this scenario. This time I am lying on the bed while some sort of indigo/dark blue energy is attacking me. This does not feel nice at all as I literally sense this thing is energetically feeding on me. I wake up from the nasty feeling.

      These dreams took around 30-40 mins of sleep. After waking up, I take some brief notes. The last dream left me a bit distressed so even though I need my sleep badly I am reluctant to immediately fall asleep. I try to dissipate the mood, then go into more unmemorable deep sleep.

      LD7: There was another LD that I vaguely as I lost lucidity at some point and then had 3 NLDs. I remember two lucid fragments: one where I was checking out shadows - my own shadow and that of someone else and some objects. I was excited to have finally noticed this. I conclude that the shadows are very realistic and on this occasion there is no difference from RL, at least according to my dream logic at the moment. I also remember organizing an erotic scene, but it got interrupted by other dream themes.

      Other dreams: I remember having three NLDs that were cool and interesting, but unfortunately cannot recall as much as I would like to.

      NLD: I am having a tiger that I take care of. For some reason this tiger is activated into life and then made to hibernate by being drained and filled with liquids like water and blood. It is a good tiger and I wonder why did I decide to switch it off by taking life away from it. Someone tells me that the more you do that to these types of animals the worse they get every time they come back. The give a list of symptoms that will develop over time, the first one being aggression. I am worried about my tiger and want to bring it to life as soon as I can tomorrow. At the same time, it seems I have another animal, that is some kind of leopard that morphs into a dalmatian/leopard with the head of a bull terrier. This animal already suffers from side effects of the process and is ultra aggressive. I try to lock it in a room and think what esle to do.

      NLD: I come across a beautifully decorated box. If contains two strangely shaped crystals, a bit a like the tooth or horn of some animal. These crystals belong to some kind of a ruler/king who has now sold them. They have creepy magic powers that are very strong and can be used to one's advantage
      but there's some sort of negative side effect too.

      A bit later me and a friend of mine, possibly a classmate go out on a strange street. There is a minor quake and I warn her that there will be another one as this is part of the scenario.

      NLD fragment: I am going up some rails that are in the sky. It looks as if I am travelling and want to cross over to Sweden, where there is an invisible track and another one to a nearby location. But who can fly (by himself) for such a long distance?

      Comment: The 2-6lds were just following one after the other and I did not touch on my body to DEILD.
    15. Sleepy

      by , 07-02-2013 at 05:54 PM
      Date: 2 July

      Pre bed: SJW, 100mg B6, 1 p.oil capsule

      Total sleep time: 8 hrs

      Early LD (+2hrs after falling asleep): Unfortunately, I don't remember much as I feel asleep after the LD (even though I thought about it briefly) then woke up some time after that to visit the restroom therefore managed to put some key words. Obviously a very exciting to me LD, somewhere outdoors like a yard with lots of DCs and had something to do with TOTM.

      WBTB: p.oil capsule and some latte. I was very sleepy and did not spend the necessary time out of bed, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I have very little recall of the dreams that followed too.

      Dreams: related to classmates again. Back to school for some event.

      OBE/FA/LD: Just before final wake and I guess after some dream I can't remember, I end up in the void. I concentrate on my hearing and notice sounds that most likely come from outside. As I do that I end up in my room. There is some confusion because the part of the bed and room that I see totally looks like my room and everything is very clear. I start some maneuvering to fall asleep/ld?, change the scene, move my dream body while having no idea which body is moving after all. After these dream body movements, I fall on the floor with some bedsheets. While the fall is not physical, I am still slightly confused and think that I may really have fallen down, so continue with my efforts to project somewhere else. Then I notice a toy of mine is on the floor as well, but it is transparent and there's two of it, so that finally works as a plausible RC, but before I could react, I wake up for real and of course I very suspiciously look around and RC.

      Comment: Yeah, I definitely prefer those types of WILDs/DILDs where you just enter a dream somewhere else. These in my bed/which body is it type of situations are just so confusing. Also I should increase time out of bed during WBTB even if this means some insomnia, because I have been sleeping so deep lately that recall and LDs suffer. Well, at least I get some nice sleep.

      Updated 08-26-2013 at 05:11 PM by 61764

      lucid , non-lucid , false awakening , dream fragment
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