porcupine

Fragment 1
I'm Vladimir Putin's daughter. I'm a child, maybe around 11 years old. My father and I are standing on a grass field, the day is grey. A huge truck pulling a wagon with a big rocket (missile?) on it passes in front of us. Putin looks at me, smiles and says: "Trump also has one".

Dream 1: Dish Washing
It's the marriage anniversary of the Queen and her husband. Theres a parade through the city. The Queen and her husband both ride motorcycles in the parade. We arrive at the party venue. I am apparently working in the kitchen. Nobody seems to take care of the dishes, so I start doing this. Through the door I can see a hallway and the entrance to the bathroom. The Queen's husband comes into the hallway and heads towards the bathroom. He looks sick, constipated and he keeps rubbing his thighs. When he returns from the bathroom I ask him if he's okay.

"These trousers are extremely tight!" he says.

He leaves and I keep washing the dishes. I have trouble finding the right trays and making the forks and spoons fit inside the dishwasher. Also the drain is rather clogged. My superviser enters the kitchen and tells me off because some plates are still dirty, even though I didn't even wash them yet. I feel that this is very unfair.

Fragment 2
I'm a young woman who doesn't like the smell of the bug spray I'm using, so I mix it with my perfume. I wonder if it is still effective.

Fragment 3
I'm looking through Dumbledore's desk (very ratty-looking desk btw), searching for something, worrying if he will come back soon.

Fragment 4
I'm attending a lecture. The teacher is my old high school teacher. He's trying to climb over a wooden barrier while teaching. There is a projector screen. He asks me about the meaning of a joke in the film he's teaching on. I see flashes of the film, and of my friend telling the joke. I say the point of the joke is that the guy in the film finds himself. My teacher says: "Yes, but also about his virginity".

I'm suddenly outside the lecture hall. It's a forest with a field in the middle. There's a double wired electric fence around the field. A young boy is playing underneath the wires. I try to persuade him to get out from under there, because my teacher is right now doing something that will turn up the electricity. The boy leaves and I follow him to a clearing containing a car with the trunk open, a man (the boy's father) and a woman (his sister). I feel that these are not good people.

1. A Troll on the Farm
I'm at the farm, in the old stable. N is milking the cows with an old fashioned hand machine together with some girl. My boss O is doing something in the deep litter. Suddenly a young woman with long black hair bursts into the stable and yells, Quirrel style: "A troll in the dungeon! There is a fucking troll in the dungeon!" And then she runs away. The troll crashes in, it's huge and coming for me. I run around for a while, sometimes losing the troll, but it keeps pursuing me. I see my friend J, and she runs with me. "I have a plan" she says, "we're going to drown it in slurry!"
"But how?" I ask.
"We're going to pump the stable full of slurry, come on!".
I lose her, but I run to my boss, who is still in the deep litter, next to a tractor. I explain the plan to him, and he immediately turns on the pump. We climb into the tractor to be safe from the slurry, which has started pouring in. I see the troll and know we're going to succeed. But, just before the dream fades out, I think: "Wait, what about the cows?"

2. Fragment
Driving in a tractor to town with O. He's driving. Two people are on the road, first a man and then a boy. We very narrowly escape hitting them, and we are very relieved.

3. The Monster Fighters and the Secret Hideout
I'm trying to become friends with a guy, but it's difficult, because he is in a tight knit group of friends who have defeated horrible monsters twice (like in Stranger Things). At some point I get him to show me a secret hideout though. It is an underground bunker, but the back room has a window near the ceiling where light comes in. I climb up to look out, and it turns out that this part of the bunker is actually in the sea. I can see a sail, and I know that the room can be transformed into a kite board for kite surfing. I do that And I take it for a ride. Great fun.

4. Avocado tree
I'm in my childhood home. A woman has bought some of our land and now owns the side garden. She has a lot of people working there, turning soil and planting exotic trees and other plants. She gives me a couple of young avocado trees to plant. I try to find a spot, but the garden is pretty crowded with plants and people. I finally find somewhere and starts digging a hole. But the woman comes and says that it is too close to another tree. I can't find another spot though, everything is close to another tree!

5. Eyelash Elephants
I'm in a quite bare room. White walls, floor and ceiling, and no windows. I think I may be imprisoned, but I'm not distressed. There are shelves with some books and knick knacks on the walls. I look at my hand and see a little black spot under my skin on the palm. I press it out with two fingers. A little clump of black hairs come out of the hole and unfolds into a tiny stick elephant that seems to be made from these black hairs which mostly resemble eyelash hairs. The little elephant walks up my finger and onto a shelve. I'm amazed! I look for another black spot, and I find one. I press out another little elephant! I consider starting a zoo.

6. Fragment
Some eggs are on the barn floor, next to a hole through to the cow barn. The eggs start breaking and ducklings come out. The new born ducklings scratch wet straw down the hole. One duckling falls down the hole with the straw.

1. Knight Battle
I'm a commander of an army of knights. The dream is like a computer game, where my knights shine blue (even through obstacles) and the enemy knights shine red. I'm not doing much quality commanding, I'm afraid to say, but somehow we win anyway. There is only one enemy knight left in the end. We chase him onto a bridge where we kill him rather aggressively.

2. Fragments
I'm at the school. I shop for used clothes. I eat ice cream. I eat dry pasta, uncooked. I talk to little K.

3. The Japanese Drug Fish
I'm on a road trip with the school, on a bus. We drive past some trees, and I'm amazed that some are absolutely loaded with dark red apples. I'm point it out to my friend C, and he is equally amazed. We drive to somewhere where we will spend the night. I'm sharing the room with C and with another student AC. AC sets up an aquarium, and proudly tells us that he's brought some "special" fish. Apparently they are a type of Japanese fish that excrete a substance which can get you high. C and I are not too impressed, but not too surprised either. This is AC after all...

4. Fragments
I'm Harry Potter. Something with a feeding bottle. Riding a dog (a big puppy actually) that later told me it didn't mind being ridden. My room being incredibly messy. Putting on a shirt made in Tanzania.

From 08-03-2018

1. The woman in the tent
I'm a woman in my late twenties or early thirties. I used to be just a normal copenhagener. But for some reason I have had a psychotic break down, and now live in a tent in some abandoned place in the city. My POV shifts from 1st to 3rd person, so sometimes I can see the absolute squalor I'm living in, with old food (vegetables and goats cheese) rotting away in piles in the tent and mad drawings decorating the sides. But at other times I'm in her head, living her life, and then everything is different. I am then a party girl attracting all the men. For example I'm at a party at a hotel with a handsome guy, but another catch my eye, and I convince them both to come to my hotel room. Scene ends when I accidently get into the elevator without them. All the while I'm in the elevator I can hear two guys having a merry time in the neighboring elevator.
At some point my psychosis wanes a little and I see that a friend of mine has come to "rescue" me. It becomes very important to me that she doesn't discover the extent of my misery, so I joke with her, telling her that I just had a minor stress-related break down and went to live inthe tent to get closer to nature. I'm afraid she might look into the tent, because now I can see how disgusting it is, and there is no hiding my craziness if she sees my drawings.

2. Cows
I'm at the farm. A lot of people are around, because apparently the farm is also a school. My old teacher is there. I'm going to an exam later. Many of the cows have udders that are cracked through the middle like half-opened walnuts, and I'm very worried. I ask my mom to do something, but she is too busy making up something to heal their feet.

3. B2

4. The young witch
I'm a young witch, Harry Potter style, maybe around 13 years old. I'm at a party at Bag End (the Hobbit). The Weasleys, Hermione, Bilbo Baggins and a priest are also attending. I get drunk and make out with someone, but I can't remember who. The next day at breakfast I imagine it was Bill, because I think he is handsome. Hermione says that Bill gets around a lot, and to defend his honor I swear at her. The priest hears me, and spend the rest of the day convincing me that most women are sinful and useless and I am of the worst kind. In the end I'm writing pages in my diary about what a worthless female I am.

From 07-03-2018

1. The burning container ship, dying and becoming a ghost
I'm a worker on a container ship. A horrible fire has started on my ship. The only thing to do is leave on the life boats. I fall into one of them. I hurt my self falling. Dream changes. I'm in a car crash, and I die. I fly out of my body as a ghost. I see a wildlife camera and know that I've been recorded.

2.
I help catch two horses.

3. Secret agents
I'm Fury from Avengers. I am having an affair with another secret agent called Melanie. She is abducted while we are on a seemingly slow mission somewhere rural, working together with two local secret agents. I send the two local agents to retrieve Melanie, but they fail.

4. Many people in my house
My childhood home has turned into a place where people go for holidays. There are many people, and it is very difficult to get to use a bathroom. I open the door to the downstairs bathroom, and there is a girl sitting on top of the sink peeing in it. I quickly close the door, so she doesn't notice me.

5. Heath Ledger in my store
Heath Ledger seems to be working in the grocery store. I buy two bags of candy and offers him some from one of the bags. He eats it all and also the second bag. I do not get annoyed with him.

6. Slime aliens
I'm having a thing with a guy, who at some point sleeps with another woman and then gets possesed by a very slimy alien.

1. S and E
I am talking to my cousin's children about their father. The are sad. S has tears in her eyes.

2. Professor Snape
I need some secret information and have somehow gained knowledge of the whereabouts of Professor Snape (who is not dead, but in hiding). The Professor is pretending to be a homeless person living behind a seedy bar. I go to him on a dark night. His cheeks flush red in anger when he sees me. "You shouldn't seek me out so openly!" he scolds me, "you could at least have pretended to be homeless for at couple of months first!"

3. FA chain
Just a long chain, at least five, FAs, talking to different people in between waking up in beds a lot.

Lucid glimses througout the dream, but no real control. I blame an unwillingness to destroy the story.


I am in the dark wood panelled stairwell of a bar somewhere in Asia (I think). I know I am a high end prostitute who lives above the bar at the request of my mysterious wealthy patron. Out of curiosity I float out of my body to take a look at my self - I look like Liv Taylor. I float back in. I spend my days in leisure, except when my patron comes around, obviously One day though, he arrives in a rush and takes me to the airport. On the streets I see chaos. Men in weird uniforms, not all alike, shoot at civilians with futuristic looking weapons. At the airport we get on a plane. The plane takes off, but on the way up I look out of the window and spot a jet fighter dropping bombs on the city I just left. Some time after, we are forced to make an emergency landing. I am the first person to leave the plane, gliding down the air slide. I land hard on my feet.

I lose some time.

I am suddenly swimming away from a war torn beach. The strange soldiers wade through the waters killing everyone still alive. I hide beneath a jetty, playing dead.

I lose time again. I am now on another (tiny) beach, with some of the soldiers. The little beach is closed of by tall rocks on two sides, and towards the sky and the jungle to the right there is heavy cage wiring. In the wire towards the jungle there is a closed wire door. I'm not afraid. The soldires are discussing the war. Until now, I've had no idea what's going on. Apparently the soldiers fight for Nature against Humans. Nature has taken matters into her own hands, and is solving the climate change crisis herself. Using Human soldiers. One of the soldiers is angry and yelling at the others. He dosn't want to participate in the slaughter anymore and he dosn't believe Nature could do anything about it, if all the soldiers just left. He goes through the wire door. Immidiately a giant gorilla and a huge lion come out of the dark jungle and drag him away. When his screaming has stopped, I go to the wire door and closes it. It doesn't lock. I wake up.

1. M.
I'm riding my bicycle down the road in a crowd of other cyclists. Suddenly I hear someone call my name. I recognise the voice (female, sweet), but I don't quite remember to whom it belongs. I stop riding, turn around and see my old friend M walking towards me smiling. I haven't seen her for a couple of years IWL. She looks happy and beautiful. Her hair is shiny and black and she's wearing a cable-knit sweater the colour of cream. At this point I know I'm dreaming. The surroundings are a little drunken and blurry, so I decide to stabilise the dream. I go in for a hug M ducks out of it with a confused smile. "What are you doing?" she asks. "I'm just trying to stabilise the dream" I tell her, and she allows my second attempt. Her body feels solid and warm, her hair is soft and smells of perfume. The experience is very real and I feel very happy. We then move to a table outside a nearby restaurant. M starts drawing with charcoal on a piece of paper. She's drawing me as I looked when I was a baby. I see that she also has a drawing of my brother J as a baby. The drawings are very good, they look like photograhps. M then attempts a portrait of me then and there, but she can't even draw an oval for the head shape. It looks like a child's drawing. She shrugs and proceeds to show me som of her other drawings. There is one of her old professor, one of some girls from high school and one of a lecture hall from my time at uni. The last one is moving and colored, and I feel myself getting dragged in - the dream slipping out of control. I wake up.

2. Garble, Random Violence, TotM-failX2 and Flying.
I enter the dream already lucid. Its the same cityscape I just left, only more empty and the buildings look more 2D. My friend M is still there, but more as a comforting presence. I leave her still drawing at the table, and go across the street, where I see around 6 DCs benched around a wooden table. I join them with the intention of completing the TotM, which I remember (falsely of course) to be "speak garble to a DC and record their reaction". I start to introduce myself to a DC like this: "Hello, I'm floobbydy quaklik saddadink kong long" or something like that. To my surprise the DC gamely responds in the same fashion. Only he is shouting and gesturing wildly, as if he is doing sign language at the same time. The other DCs start doing the same around me, and I get a little intimidated. So I decide to hit the nearest one hard on the head with my knuckles! This makes him very aggressive, and he graps me.
I decide that now is the time to fullfill the goal I have set for my next LD (levitating) and kick off from the ground. I fly a some 8 metres into the air, but the DC is still clinging to my feet! I'm getting a bit desperate as he starts to climb up my body, but I can't kick him off. I then get the great idea to imagine my body completely covered in olive oil. One of the DC's hands immediately slips off my leg, but the other is grapping my pants. I'm so slippery that my pants fall clean off and disapear together with the DC. As I'm floating pants-less in the air it occurs to me to finish another TotM, namely being naked in front of a crowd of DCs (this is also not a TotM, I think it is an old one). But then I wake up.

3. The Crazy Lady's Ark and the Creepy Horror Show. Oh and another TotM fail.
I enter the dream somewhat lucid. Lucidity fluctuates though, and my dream control is very bad. I am standing in front of a house. The dream scene looks like a high-end american suburban neighborhood with mansion-like houses. On the porch of the house a crazed looking young woman is standing. I glimpse some movement behind her, but it is difficult to see. I study my hands to stabilise, but it only works for a moment. The crazed lady is chasing some teenagers away who apparently wanted to explore "the haunted house". I am suddenly in the house. I see several fiery ghosts surrounding the crazed lady, and I get a flashback to her past, where I see her burning her entire family alive.
(Memory gap)
I am still in the house, but it looks like my old elementary school. The hallway is filled with all kinds of animals. I realise, that the crazed lady is building Noa's Arc Vol. 2. Suddenly the animals start moving towards me, towards the doorway. They seem to be more or less floating as an unstoppable fleet. I almost get eaten by a giant shark. I have to press myself into a corner to avoid getting squashed by the giant polar bear. When all the animals are gone, only the crazed lady and I are left in the hallway. I look out the window and see some pigs and goats and two little white lamb. I ask the lady: "Aren't those animals going too?" She looks at me and gravely says "God doesn't like those kind of animals". I convince her to bring them anyway.
(Memory gap)
I'm outside the house. It's dark and I can't stabilise the dream. I feel close to waking up. I decide to change the dreamscape and try for the TotM challenge of creating my own never-seen-before plant (which is actually the TotM). I start spinning very fast while keeping my eyes open. I imagine a simple white room with a window and a potted plant.
What I get is a vivid, dark and very creepy dreamscape that looks like a part of my parent's farm. This one feels more stable. I'm in front some old buildings which aren't in use anymore. There is a big full moon which casts a creepy light on the roof and the road in front of the buildings, but I am standing in the shadows. Suddenly I feel something disgusting brush by me. I grab it and throw it into the moon-illuminated road. It is a slimy pale human leg somehow attached to half a human brain. The brain has a long slimy flesh cord dangling from it. It is utterly disgusting I walk away from the thing and then I see a grey stallion rearing in front of the full moon (classic!).




But then I encounter two little creepy turkey/chicken. They are small and fat and have the faces of old women. They look evil, so I decide to go around the buildings to look for something for my plant. I find a garden with a lot of strange, bulging and glistening vegetables. They look promising, but when I get closer I see that most are halfway covered in greenish blue mold. I don't want to touch that! But I find a small vegetable that looks like a cross between a tomato and a sharon fruit. I pick it, and then I wake up at a table in another dream. I see a lady who looks like a 80ies aerobics instructor. I tell her "you are a very good dream coach! I just had my third LD in a row!" She is impressed and replies "Wow, that's crazy, have you told the intern yet?" And then I wake up for real.

I'm at work (I work in a kindergarten). The gate between the playground and the road is open, and I can't seem to close it or stop the children from running out and across the road where there parents are congregated (children in danger = dream sign). There is a lot of commotion, apparently two of the children have got a new sibling and the parents have brought them along. I start getting confused, because only one mother that I know of is due to have a new baby. Suddenly one of the newborns comes walking towards me. I get even more confused, as newborns generally don't walk. As the straw to break the camel's back the parents now start dancing down the road - bollywood style! "This is crazy" I think, "I'm definitely dreaming!"
At this point I think I am lucid. The dream is fuzzy and the people look transluctant. I try to stabilize by kneeling down and touching the asphalt. It is warm from the sun and feels real. The dream comes into focus a little more, but is still fuzzy. I try to will the dancing parents away, but am unsuccesful. I turn around, try again, and when I turn back only one parent is left. I decide to be satisfied and start to think of what to do. I remember one member on DV who wrote about the Task of the Year Challenge, specifically Jack and the Beanstalk. I see a fuzzy male DC on the road and decide to transform him into a seed for the beanstalk. I compress him with my hands, and eventually he turns into a little pill-like brown seed. At this point I realise that trying to finish this challenge is overly ambitious. Instead I remember the Easter Egg challenge from TotM, and set out to look for one in the gardens at the side of the road. Frustratingly, every time I near a bush or flower bed they disapear! I see a lot of christmas decorations for some reason. Finally I spot a big cardboard egg, which I open. Inside there is a lot of tiny candy and half of a smaller cardboard egg. I get greedy, and go to look for more eggs! I suddenly lose vision. I know I'm about to wake up, and I do.




I'm not actually sure if this was a lucid dream. It occured very late in the morning, long past the time I usually wake up if I'm working. It kind of had the feel of one of those semi-dreams I sometimes have after waking up if I consciously try to make a fantasy story into a dream (which never succeeds). If it indeed was such a fantasy, it was very vivid and there was vision, which is unusual.