Into the Whirlpool

Fixing Alarm
I'm trying to fix an alarm (looks like a smoke detector, I have the idea it's from "school"). I just need to change the battery, so to be sure that I don't accidentally mess something else up, I'm removing everything from the alarm that has to do with numbers. This removal extends to things outside the alarm as well: I turn off the radio because it either mentions numbers on the air/has a frequency made up of numbers, and I delete e-mails with numbers in their subject lines. (One email I delete is about some sort of evangelical Christian organization; it was forwarded to me by an aunt/uncle with the note "Adam, we were going to delete this email but then we noticed the view count on it". Apparently I had somehow already looked at this email 20+ times, and they somehow knew about this before sending it?) The battery in the alarm is protected by a panel with a grille that I think can be unscrewed to be taken off. I touch the grille with my hand but realize my fingers are wet, and draw my hand back nervously. I wake up at this point, so I actually raise my right hand into the air in waking life. My fingers are numb.

Indigo Girls in Dead Forest (fragment)
Amy Ray and Emily Saliers are dead (although they look perfectly normal) and have to figure out a way out of a dead forest maze - this is done by collecting giant body parts (eye, skeletal hand, vagina??) and using them as tools?

Obama Nukes Russia: The Roguelike
There's a wacky Japanese TV show that is somehow inspired by Yasutaka Nakata (who appears in the 3rd episode). At the end of each episode audiences combine a couple of items to make a new item; then, in the subsequent episode, they use the item they made in the last episode to make something else, and the pattern continues. There are three episodes and then the series goes off the air for 6 months, but eventually it comes back. I am in a grocery store and am using a kiosk in one of the aisles to assemble a montage of the first six shows. I put a whole bunch of clips together, then add some text in Impact font, promoting it as a great comedy. (Fragment here about meeting a yelling old woman in the store, something to do with her cart?)

Episode 12 (the last one) rolls around, and I am in the store with several Japanese people waiting for it to start. Suddenly (and I know this is going to happen about 5 seconds before it actually does) Barack Obama walks out from the neighboring aisle, smiling. Everyone is shocked, whispering his name amongst themselves; no one seems to have any idea how they should conduct themselves. Obama stands in front of the people and kneels on the floor ... or at least he tries to. His legs are very stiff, like he can barely bend at the knees. Eventually he ends up thudding to the floor, one leg at a time, into a kneeling position. In a halting voice, he explains that he has let down the "flower of the Japanese people" by allowing the U.S. to be vastly outclassed in terms of nuclear power (the impression is that the U.S. will be annihilated shortly because of this?). There is an ASCII (roguelike) view of the situation, which somehow illustrates the predicament.

A young Russian guy named Vinny speaks up. In a loud, brash voice that somehow morphs into a thick Boston accent (but only for certain words, like "car") he explains, using the ASCII grid, how Obama can maneuver himself around the board and extricate himself from danger. This is done in 12 moves, a number which is pointed out, like it's an achievement. Vinny is clearly very proud of himself and asks that the maneuver be named after him if Obama ends up using it. Obama thanks him; after a few seconds of thought, he says he will name the maneuver "the Luvie." He follows Vinny's steps, but I notice that they are subtly altered; somehow he is following Vinny's route but also managing to pick up several nukes as he goes. Eventually Obama reaches the staircase out and escapes from danger.

At this point the scene shifts fully into ASCII. The store is gone; the scene is now inside a Russian nuclear shelter. Obama has departed and Vinny is pleased with his suggestion, still very confident that Obama will use it. He decides to go above ground; he knows that doing this will leave him unprotected, but he doesn't expect a nuclear strike to actually happen, so he thinks it won't matter. Outside the shelter, there is a forest; right by the entrance to the shelter is a wolf. Vinny has sex with the wolf; shortly afterward, Obama nukes Russia and possibly several other countries. Because he's outside of the shelter, Vinny is the only Russian casualty of the nuclear strike.