New Dream Adventures of Raven Knight

01/17/14

I am in a strange place that somehow looks familiar and foreign to me at the same time. I am walking down a street in a town that looks like something out of one of my video games. Specifically out of Assassin's Creed I. Maybe Jerusalem. There are people walking on the streets and chatting casually though they all seem a bit uneasy. Like they're expecting something to happen at any moment. I notice there seem to be an awful lot of guards wandering the street as well. Many more than would seem justified in a peaceful city street. The guards also seem a little on edge. I see a commotion from off to my right and I head in that direction. There are a lot of people gathered around one spot, all talking animatedly. Some people are talking about dark magic and demons. I wonder what is going on. I push my way through the crowd to get a look at what they're talking about. People are calling the guards, apparently worried about something. Someone tells an approaching guard to use caution, this creatures has black magic and isn't afraid to use it! I head in the direction they are indicating. I am thinking this black magic user might be why I'm here.

I get to the place they have indicated before the guards close in and block it off. I find that the guards do have someone cornered, and it is definitely someone who doesn't belong here. Ratchet and Clank are here at the end of a dead end alley. The alley is blocked off by guards and Ratchet has one of his guns out and is pointing it at the guards. Clank is telling him he doesn't know if they're really enemies or if they're just confused, which must be why Ratchet isn't firing at the guards. The guards are wielding their swords at Ratchet but don't seem to dare approach, most likely due to the scorch mark on the ground... it seems Ratchet fired a warning shot and that is the "black magic" they're referring to. The talk of demons comes from the fact they've never seen anything even close to a lombax or a robot before, especially not one that appears to throw fireballs... A guard finally decided to use a ranged weapon... and he fires an arrow at Clank. The arrow hits Clank and bounces off with a *clank* noise but doesn't harm him. I get closer to them and throw a smoke bomb into the middle of the scene. I use my eagle vision to locate Ratchet and Clank and get them off of the street into a small concealed garden area that would no doubt make a very good hiding spot for an Assassin. I hear the guards behind me yelling and searching, giving orders to find them immediately. I wonder if they have a better plan on what to do if they do find them… get shot with more fireballs?

Ratchet and Clank seem quite confused as to what is going on. I tell him someone is screwing with space-time and I think I know who... and that someone is gonna be feeling my hidden blade really soon. Clank says they had just been heading to town to get a replacement part for Ratchet's space ship when a strange gateway had opened and pulled them here. Ratchet seems annoyed at being called a demon. I am thinking I need to open a portal to get them home. Before I have a chance to I spot that we aren't alone in the garden. I had originally thought it looked like a good hiding spot for an Assassin and I'm not the only one to have thought that. Altaïr is here. He is right behind Ratchet. Wait... does he also think Ratchet is some kind of demon or monster? I think he does... because he has his hidden blade out. Before he can stab Ratchet I push Ratchet out of the way and tell him to stop it. Altaïr stabs me. Of course in the dream state I am now a virus like Alex Mercer... so that does nothing except create a small injury that instantly heals. I ask Altaïr what he's doing that for. He hesitates when he sees me heal and says I must be another of the demons. He says he has heard that the Templars have enlisted demons to aid them. I say yes, they have, but neither Ratchet nor I are demons. The demon is no doubt the one who pointed Ratchet out to him. I am an Assassin from another dimension. Ratchet is also from another dimension, also not a Templar. Altaïr seems unsure of who to believe now. He says he's seen Ratchet use black magic on some guards... No. Not black magic. Just a more advanced weapon. One that doesn't really belong here, so he'll be taking it home with him.

So I need to send Ratchet and Clank home. I start focusing on opening the portal but it seems to be giving me trouble. Altaïr seems unsure of who to believe. I get the idea he is leaning towards believing me. He eyes me for a moment and then says he does believe me, that other person hadn't stayed around long enough for him to verify who's side he was on... but he can see I am an Assassin. He stares at Ratchet for a long while and that seems to annoy Ratchet a bit, who switches his tail around... which draws Altaïr's attention to it and he stares even more. Ratchet finally asks Altaïr if he's never seen a lombax before. "A what?" is Altaïr's response. I comment no, no one here has ever seen a lombax. Wrong time. Wrong planet. Wrong galaxy. Wrong fucking dimension. Robert de fucking Sable. I really want to find Robert and then rip off his favorite body part and shove it up his ass… Ratchet is asking who Robert de Sable is, but Altaïr knows exactly who I am talking about. He says Robert de Sable and his Templars will stop at nothing to get what they want, but this… a lumbet from a different planet? A different dimension? Yeah… but a lombax, not a lumbet… whatever those might be… I gotta send him home. I focus on opening a portal to send Ratchet and Clank back home.

I am focusing on the portal when Altaïr distracts me. He says Robert de Sable's name. I turn and see Robert de Sable standing at the entrance to the garden. He is laughing. Altaïr says he doesn't know what scheme the Templars are up to this time but it will fail. As long as there are Assassins around the Templars will always fail. Robert seems to be ignoring Altaïr right now. He asks me if I'm not going to send my two friends home. I hesitate in opening my portal… he seems to like the idea of me sending them home a bit too much, like maybe the Templars have fucked up my portals somehow. Like maybe if I send them "home" I'll actually be doing something to make things much worse. Robert laughs when I hesitate. Of course maybe he is just messing with me, too. And I can't keep Ratchet and Clank here… I really want to kick Robert's ass. Ratchet asks who this guy is, referring to Robert. He is the cause of a hundred paradoxes that Assassins keep having to fix… and this is just another fail. Because that's what he does. He fails. Has always failed. Will always fail. In the history books next to the name Robert de Sable they will write, "The Ultimate Infinite Failure" as the definition. Robert says he will show me a failure and throws a dark energy fireball at Altaïr. I pull the energy ball over to me and absorb it. I tell him to stop passing out dark energy. Well he has done it for the last time, anyway. I use an Alex Mercer move and drive spikes into the ground. They erupt right under Robert… right as he disappears in a blast of smoke. Shit! The chicken-wuss disappeared again! "Come back and FIGHT ME, you FLAKY JERK!"

The spikes and the commotion have apparently gotten some attention. Guards are entering the garden through the narrow entrance. They have their swords out and are attacking on sight, apparently not concerned with the idea there might be some innocent people here, too. One of them gets himself stabbed by Altair's hidden blade. A second gets shot with Ratchet's blaster, a third gets electrocuted when he tries to grab Clank. My Alex Mercer claws take out a fourth. The others aren't as quick to push through the opening. Altaïr says he knows a way out. He jumps up a wall and grabs a ledge, climbing as if he is assuming everyone else can obviously follow him. Clank jumps onto Ratchet's back and uses a jet booster to get Ratchet all the way up to the ledge Altaïr grabbed. I easily follow them as well. I guess Altaïr wasn't mistaken when he assumed everyone could follow him. Except the guards, that is. They don't seem to be able to reach the ledge. Close, but not quite. Altaïr throws a knife and takes out an archer aiming at us. A shot from Ratchet's blaster takes out that archer's partner. We get to a place that is hidden from the guards. I hear them out there still looking, but they aren't having any luck.

I go back to focusing on opening a portal to get Ratchet and Clank home. A portal opens. I look through the portal and see a place that definitely looks consistent with a Ratchet and Clank world. Robert is still in my mind laughing, still making me question whether this portal is good or not. I go through it, indicating Ratchet and Clank should follow. If it's the wrong place I can set it right once we get there. On the other side of the portal I look around and see the setting is consistent with a Ratchet and Clank world, but the inhabitants are not. The inhabitants are all reptilian creatures with big green eyes and a lot of teeth. They see us enter from a portal. Some of them just look confused, others look like something else… One of them is looking at Ratchet in a way that makes me think he wants there to be fresh lombax on the menu for tonight. I think Ratchet has the same idea, he gets a bit closer to me and says this is definitely not his home world. I tell him I know, this is another trick of Robert's. Time to get out of here. I open another portal, focusing even stronger on getting to Ratchet and Clank's home world. The portal opens and we go through it before anyone in the previous place decides to make a move. Now this world looks right. One of the people there even seems to recognize Ratchet and Clank. I think for a bit and remember his name… Big Al! So I think they're in the right place now. Which is good since here is where I wake up.