New Dream Adventures of Raven Knight

12/28/12

False Messages
I am in my Fire Valkyrie heading for the moon, I hear the affirmations of my hypnotic program over the sound system of the Fire Valkyrie. It is telling me to take deep breaths and relax as I approach the moon and land. I ignore the part about having a space suit on and I just get out of the ship. I know it is a dream, so I don't need any such things as space suits. I walk around on the moon for a bit, I can still hear the affirmations in my head. That's when I notice something wrong with them. The affirmations are telling me I am worthless and that I might as well just stay in bed all day, it's not worth getting up. Those aren't antidepressant affirmations, they are clearly meant to make depression worse. I wonder if I have been totally ripped off when I bought the program. Well it was only $1, so I can't feel too ripped off… but I don't want to be using such trash. So I think maybe I can wake myself up by going to my own room and waking my sleeping body up. I open a portal and go into my room where I see myself sleeping. My earphones are in place, but there are two men, one on either side of my bed, whispering the negative affirmations. It's not my hypnosis program that was giving me negative affirmations… it's those stupid assholes. I ask them what they think they're doing, and they seem surprised to see me. One of them says I'm not supposed to know how to astral travel, I tell him it works fine in a lucid dream state… now they have ten seconds to leave my sight before this particular dream turns into a nightmare for them. They transform into Templar guards from the game Assassin's Creed II, the brute type which I have the most trouble with.

I comment that apparently they have chosen for this to become a nightmare. I form my Witchblade armor and sword just as they attack me. The armor is able to block their attacks, though it still knocks me down. One of them says it is might nightmare and pulls out something hair and throws it to me. It is my cat, Midna… and they have killed her! She is all bloody and mangled! That does it. Before they even know what happened I have cut both of them down. Apparently they didn't realize how pissed off I would be when I saw my cat. After the shock of it wears off I remember that it is just a dream and that is not really Midna. There are two dead Templars on the floor in my room… but one of them is still wiggling a bit. I really don't care. I telekinetically throw them both through my window which has turned into a portal that leads… well I don't know where it leads… but again I don't care. I look at my dead cat and think after pulling a stunt like that the portal can lead to the Dark Realm for all I care. I see my real cat lying beside me on my bed. She is looking at me. I reach to pet her but I find I can't actually touch her. Then I wake up next to her and start petting her.

With a Betrayer
I am in a small apartment with my former boyfriend James, but in the dream it seems we never broke up and are now living together. We are both in the bedroom talking about playing Assassin's Creed, it seems James thinks it is a stupid game. I tell him he doesn't have to play it. When he says he doesn't want me playing it I get annoyed and I tell him I'll play whatever games I like, he can play whatever games he likes. He asks if there isn't something else I'd rather play like Oblivion or Skyrim. I tell him I'll play those in good time, but right now I'm playing Assassin's Creed… and why should he have a problem with that? He says it is a stupid game. I blurt out that he is being stupid. And I'm not going to change what games I play according to what he wants. He says then stop dreaming about Templars. I tell him I'll dream about whatever I want to as well. And if that's to dream about Assassin's Creed then that's what I'll dream about. I ask what's gotten into him, thinking he is acting really strange. I change the subject and say we should get pizza for dinner. He says we should skip dinner and go straight for dessert. I say if it's chocolate cake he has a deal. He announces that he is horny and wants to fuck. I tell him he has gotten me out of the mood… he's going to have to get me back in the mood. He says I'm not worth that much trouble. I tell him then he can fuck himself. He says he thought he could get one final fuck before I was taken away. Taken away by who? He opens the door of the apartment and I see three men standing there, and my first thought is that they are real world Templars. James says he's sorry, he had no choice, confirming he has betrayed me. So I knee him in the balls really hard and tell him he may never fuck again. James doubles over in pain, the three guys come in and grab me. I find out I can fight with the skill of Ziva David off of NCIS which clearly takes the Templars by surprise even as I surprise myself.

So I proceed to kick all three of their asses, kicking a gun out of one of their hands when he tries to draw the weapon on me. I leave the apartment through the back entrance where I spot another couple Templars guarding the rear. Apparently they really don't want me to leave. There's just the two of them, so I take them by surprise and kick their asses in Ziva David style. A third one off to the side says he could just put a bullet in my head. I tell him to go ahead and do that… If I'm not tethered to a body I'll be in the dream state permanently and I'll be their worst nightmare. He does not shoot, but he looks frustrated. I tell him I knew he wasn't quite that stupid. I leave the place, not sure where to go now since I don't want to go back to my mom's place followed by a bunch of Templars. I am deciding where to go when I wake up.

Driving Me Crazy
I am in a car dealership looking for a new car. There are sales people all around me trying to sell me a car. I wonder why I am even looking for a new car since I have a perfectly good car already, and it's even paid for. People around me are arguing that I need fuel efficiency… no, I need safety… no, I need something economical. People are telling me to buy a hybrid… no buy an SUV… no buy an electric car… buy this… buy that… I am thinking that I am unemployed, there's no way I would qualify to buy a vehicle of any kind, certainly not a new one. My mom is there with me telling me I need to choose something low price since I have no job. I tell her I don't really want a new car. I'm fine with the one I have. She doesn't seem to believe me and brings over a salesman who is talking about buying a Fiat.

It is a tiny little car that probably gets great mileage but it has only two seats. My mom says it's not like I have a lot of friends anyway. I tell her again that I don't want a new car. She says of course I do and then starts trying to sell me the car as much as any of the salespeople. I remind her that I can't afford a car. She doesn't seem to know what to say. I tell the salesman I am unemployed, and he responds by walking away to a more promising customer. I think this is all really strange so I finally think to do a reality check. I am dreaming. Why am I dreaming about people trying to sell me a car? Are they beaming commercials into people's dreams now? I take to flying, commenting to a nearby pushy salesman that I don't need a car… I'll just fly where I need to go. My mom tells me to come back down right now, but I ignore her and fly up over Tucson. I think I'd like to go visit my friend Alicia, but I'm not sure if she's home or at work right now… I figure I'll check at her home and then at work. I fly in the direction I think Alicia's house is in, hoping I won't miss it since I'm not used to seeing it from the sky. I am getting quite exhilarated from flying but that wakes me up.