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After a long dry spell, I went back to what worked in the first place - meditation; particularly with a focus on absolute presence, calmness, and clarity of the mind. I did this before I went to sleep at night and had a lucid dream this morning about visiting a neighbor's house.

I feel like the crux of my meditation is a focus on, "I am". There is nothing more present than that statement. It's not a mantra I repeat 10,000 times, I am just simply aware of my self and my breathing in the moment without being distracted by other thoughts because nothing else matters in that moment except that, "I am". Looking forward to more success via meditation.

Of course dream journaling is important too. I am becoming more diligent in writing down my dreams every single time I wake up.

I was in bed this morning waiting for a text. Because of this I just kept snoozing and had like 20 dreams.

The only good part I can remember is about this point where suddenly I had a genie. He was hanging at my place with me, when I got a text from my ex. I realized I could ask the genie anything so I asked when the last time was that she thought of me, and he said it was two weeks ago. I thought that was great especially since we haven't spoken for 3 years.

After hanging with him, I went off to town. In town I found a second genie, this time played by Gene Wilder. He was more of a Loki figure and was just doing general fuckery, mainly trying to give all ducks headlights. This was fucking hilarious and we spent a long time just giving ducks headllights, the ducks thought it was funny too. Then queen latifah showed up. She was the Oracle. As soon as she showed up my old genie arrived too, and suddenly the group of poeple was like 75% magic beings. I asked them if the boys upstairs would come and break up the party becuase of the concentration of power and they said the group was nothing compared to Gene Wilder's parents. I didn't even ask.

We spent the rest of the night hanging with ducks when my alarm went off again.

There was more prior to what I recall, but as usual I couldn't remember except some vague bits about reading excerpts of writing in a manor. Then me and other people were observing a room in a manor which had turned into the void, or rather infinite space. Everything in it is utter darkness and you know if you went inside you'll fall through the infinite blackness forever.

At some point not long after that, I was Satan himself. Not the horned beast, mind you, more like Professor Woland (Satan in the novel Master and Margarita). Either way, chicanery was afoot, and I was going around scamming and tricking people, one I can remember being me taking over an empty manor, and as a police inspector came to visit (presumably because the previous owner met an unfortunate end) I disguised myself as the butler to receive him, and left him as he went to the Master's study so that I can disguise as the master of the house. All of the Satan sequence happened in a retro pixel game perspective, much like The Last Door games.

Some time later, I was in a temple, or I assume at this point it was already a temple in my dream. I was assaulted by the gorilla, I could feel the text being narrated by a certain friend of mine who occasionally write erotica, and I used the tranquilizer to escape but the tranq dart only served as aphrodisiac to the gorilla's weird biology. Guess what happened next. I was on the bottom. Also Wikipedia talked in my head about the virtues of a gorilla's reproductive organs.

When I left the satisfied gorilla to clean myself I wiped up with a towel and swaddled myself in it to find clean clothes. It is at this point I realize I'm in a buddhist temple. I went to the carpark and met my mom who doesn't seem to take note of me being in just my towel, and she presumably said something but I couldn't remember. I looked in the car for clothes but there were only sweets.

- Dream (non lucid): I'm back to university, presumingly in Amsterdam. This university is much cooler than the one i actually did. I surprised the professor with my excellent knowledge about databases and for being able to write in Russian and in Persian, although a native speaker made me notice that I have a problem with the "maticagne" (eh? I looked this word up but it looks totally made up - it sounds Italian but it is gibberish. I found something in French but it has a different pronunciation).

Here I was knowing two languages that I of course cannot know. Well, knowing... I was actually feeling like I had no idea what I actually wrote.

+ club / clothes / 3 birds in water / water-cube

+ little living soldiers game

+ scary storm cloud

+ ping pong

+ women playing video games: my name on screen

+ LUCIDD 209 LD#209 in building, get lucid, do TOTM basic pocket summon get handful of tiny coins, 5's and 2's, ask guy what they are, he says "5 drachma", keep looking at them, shake his hand, go outside, kiss girl interrupt her she's talking to some guy, "mm, well, ok" she says, I stop and squat down and look around, then she leans in an initiates a kiss with me, we stand up entangled, things get hot, then the dream fades.

+(f) in a house with people playing with furry pets (cat?)

+ "RTL" guy in restaurant, lots of food laid out on on the tables, it's a private party

+ return to room, meet family I saw earlier, kids misbehaved so they're going home, enter office, clsoe dor, walk along long narrow table to far end, move to end, make sure there's room for my feet at the end, set up to work there on my laptop

+ middle-aged asian guy sitting at table eating plain-looking dim sum. "Ssssshhhh!" he tells me and motions to a cart of food and drink behind him. I go there and notice cans of beer, and other drinks, I take one thinking it's beer but it's dark, sweet, and I think it's coke. I sit on the other end of the table from him and suddenly a commercial break starts up, an animation of a peanut butter jar appears in the air spinning around with music and a bunch of young Japanese advertising girls appear and I think this is hilarious and pretend to be the announcer caling out "Jiff peanut butter! <etc.>". Then there's a small saucer of peanut butter in front of me and I'm trying to eat a piece but the chunk I'm trying to take is stuck via a strand to the chunk still on the saucer, I'm laughing and hurrying it's all hilarious and there's a guy sitting across from me and I'm shoving the peanut butter to him to eat and it spills and there's a huge stain on the table all the while the nice Japanese advertising girls are trying to help us eat it.

Another riveting dream from my crazy mind. This one went from intriguing to weird. Like my dream just gave up making sense halfway through and went here, enjoy the crazy...


My friends, inexplicably, are trapped in the basement. I made the mistake of going downstairs to see what the cries are for, and they trapped me too. We're scared, cowering in the hall, lined by jail cells on either side of us. We're held by gunpoint and forced into the cells. I'm with two other people, a guy and a girl. I don't know them. I have a gun stashed in my waist, and I realize I could be our only hope.

I shoot the leader in the shoulder and the neck, but of course it's not fatal. Thought I killed him, and I let my guard drop. He shoots me and I get hit in the side. He goes upstairs, and one of his goons comes down to tell us to stay put. I sit down and the guy sits in my lap. He's younger than me, about 12-13, and scared. The other girl and I are trying to comfort him.

The goon shoots into our cell with a shotgun, and it hits the guy in my lap in the shoulder. He doesn't cry out in pain - he sighs and moves off my lap, more annoyed than anything. As we sit, they bring more kids down and lock them into the cells around us, chaining them in. We decide we have to escape.

A girl comes downstairs - apparently she's a witch. She heals the guy with me and then unlocks the cells and the chains so we could free the kids. The bad guys come down and we scatter; the witch stays behind to hold them off and let us escape.

I run upstairs and realize it's was my old apartment. My boyfriend's there, and we run out and get in his truck to drive away. We get lucky and escape, moving out in the process. They didn't see us. I realize how lucky we are because apparently I realize no one else managed it. We go to my current apartment and as we were unpacking, we realized we haven't grabbed everything and we have to go back.

I'm freaking out, but I tell myself it's okay because if I get scared I can just wake up. This oddly doesn't send me into lucidity completely. I'm vaguely aware that I'm dreaming, but not enough to let me take control, just enough to keep me from being afraid.

We run across the front of my apartments through the grass to get to his truck. We run down some stairs past a pond, and there were two boulders rolling around in the water (???). Floating on top like beach balls. I joked they were cannon balls and this cracked me up in the dream (I have no idea don't ask). The boulders were splashing and rolling, and water kept splashing us. We were both soaked and since I had flip flops they kept slipping off so I had to keep going back to get them. There was a party going and tons of people were on the lawn. After the third time of running back to get flip-flops the dream sort of shifts.

I was Stewie from family guy. As I turn on the grass I'm in a suburban neighborhood, no longer at my apartment. I was sitting in a driveway and Brian (also from family guy) was standing behind me.

He and some other people were standing around drinking, making fun of me. I got up and asked Brian for a favor. I don't remember what I asked or what he said, but he laughed me off. I was upset. I took a drink from one of his friends and downed it. I remember writing in a journal that 'I wanted to drive away and never come back. But I'm drunk so I can't. So I walked away instead'. Which I did.

And when I wandered away I became myself again. I was back at the apartments, by the pond. I found someone's phone, with the name Tara on the screen. I stumbled around the pond and got to this bridge walkway thing. A bunch of people were rushing by. I casually said 'Tara?' to a girl running by. She didn't respond so I asked if she knew Tara, and she said no. I asked where she was going, she said 'there was a fire on___ street! My. Family's there!' and I realized that's where I'd left Brian and the others (my family still, apparently) and I rushed to go see them.

I'm apparently on a hill because now I have to run down giant stairs to get to the houses. I mean there's like a huge foot wide gap between each stair, and they're actually mini tvs playing ESPN Sportscenter, instead of real steps.

I distract myself trying to walk and watch at the same time and remember thinking this is why these aren't mass produced. They're doing an interview. The man interviewing is in a dinosaur costume, talking to a little girl that just got rescued from the house fire I'm rushing to. I wake up when I reach the bottom of the steps more confused than I have been in a while.

D1: I was ghost hunting in a foggy bog w/ a guide giving me directions.
(I'm not into ghost hunting so this is a little odd but I can see a correlation w/ other things spiritual)
D2: Mike was going bowling a lot & was very mean to me about how he didn't want me there. I woke up sad.
D3: I was part of some group who had honed a craft at sabotaging hot air balloons. We made a slice in it w/ a knife but used a creative stitch as a way of puncturing it so it wouldn't take off. This was a long dream. We did this in parking lots & carnivals, etc.
D4: I woke up from stabbing dream but I didn't log it w/ enough details so that's all I got.

Pretty cool little vivid dream I enjoyed last night. If you are easily offended though, this dream is a bit racist at parts. Not too racist though.
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The whole world is submerged in water, and humans don't have any trouble living there.

I enter a building shaped like a museum of some kind. It's a movie theater. When I enter the water-free building, the national anthem plays, and a holographic bald eagle flies by me. I sit down and the holographic movie plays. I have no further memory of the movie

When I leave, I walk past a few people who are band mates IRL. They are sitting in line for the movie. I go to the parking lot (yes, there are cars), and see a large black man. Out of racism fear, I hide behind a pillar for safety. When he walks by me, I see that he's just fat.

"Why you hiding?" He asked.
"Sorry, you looked a lot more dangerous from far away," I respond.
He walks off to enter the line, offended.

I swim off the edge of the platform that the building was nested on. As I do, I am approached by one of my band mates.

"Hey, check this out!" They said.

A screen appears in front of my face. It has a picture of a large, hollow, yellow, cucumber-shaped plant with violet petals around the top portion that contained a hole. In the hole was bubbling, green syrup. Below the image, it said 'gives consumer a 17.21x speed boost.'

"So cool!" I remarked.

Suddenly, a brown and purple striped, rocky-skinned fish swam by, which I scanned somehow. Later, while looking at my scanned fish, I saw two evolutions of it; one with one large plate behind its head, and one with the same plate, only divided into thirds by large gaps.

Regarding the one with gaps, I said "It looks very Japanese."

Honestly one of my favorite dreams of the year! It was so vivid and memorable and I woke up kind of wanting to make a book out of it! I loved it.

Ashley and I get caught up in this guy's attempt to outsmart the mob. He had a flash drive and he's trying to get it to someone else (not sure why, I get the idea there's some sensitive content?) and we have to help and stay with him for our own safety. It's never explained but I get the feel that we accidentally know too much; the people hunting us don't care we shouldn't be involved, and they'll kill us for what we know and to get to the flash drive.

We are on the run, having left our lives behind. Again it's not mentioned but it's just the feel that I get. We've reached New York - our destination - and we're outside a public library. We're trying to get money from some machine, change from dollars so we can make a call. Mob guy gets a few quarters from a stranger while we're fighting with the machine, and he goes off and makes a phone call to verify where we meet the other person. This person is gonna take the flashdrive and take the blame from us. We'll be free, able to go back to our own lives.

Apparently the call he makes was traced. He tells one of us to watch him, and if he gives the signal were being watched, we need to run for our own safety. Turns out he's in love with one of us, don't remember which one, and he wants to protect us more than the flash drive now. I volunteer to watch while Ash finds us an escape route.

Now it's kinda blurry. He's approached by someone and a lady comes up to me asking if I've seen her son. While I'm distracted the mob guy disappears. I look up, hes gone, and I panic. I run back for Ash and I'm not sure exactly what happens. It gets a little choppy. I remember running through the library. I remember thinking it was a false alarm and then somehow we're actually being chased by police. We find a little boy, maybe the same one the woman asked about? And I remember thinking that he's caught in all of this now too and we're gonna get him killed.

At the end of the dream we've jumped ahead a few years. I've broken away from Ash and the guy (I think she's who he fell in love with). I'm gonna go design candles and alarm systems (?) and apparently I'm the one who invents Scentsy. Apparently the company I run off to join is part of the mob and I don't know it yet. I'm about to close a deal for the company and I'm faced with this mob guy; the one that I suddenly realize is who we were gonna give the flashdrive to. He set us up and he's what caused us to run that day in New York.

I panic; I somehow know it's him, and he recognizes me. He grins at me. I can't run now, and I don't have original mob guy or Ashley to help me now. I wake up with a start and an urge to run to New York and start a really weird business.

Another fragment, sorry! I remember the false awakening but nothing about the first part.

I was at work and trying to troubleshoot. My phone was on and I couldn't stop my damn Pandora (I was listening to it while falling asleep) and the customer was getting mad because they couldn't hear me over my phone. I finally got it off and I don't really know how or what happened after that.

False Awakening: I was in my bed lying on my side, how I'd fallen asleep. I knew there was someone/something in the ground but I couldn't look and see. I figured sensing this is what had woken me up and I was panicking. I was already awake; how was I going to handle someone attacking me?!

Sherlock was trying to jump down but his claw was stuck on my shirt. He was getting vicious and aggressive with me. I finally wrestled him free but he wouldn't jump down because there was someone/something there. I was trying to shove him off because he was hurting me and scaring me. Something about my friend Devin's Facebook? I had this like... moment where I was begging that this wasn't real because I was so scared, and I squeezed my eyes shut. I forced them open and woke myself up.

Again, I'm behind. These next few dream entries are from what I have saved on my phone. Some may lack a little detail as I wont remember the feelings and such as strongly.

I'm at my mom's house, and she's drunk. She and dad kept bothering me. I remember the room being very dark, very ominous. I told mom she was drunk and to leave me alone. I feel guilty because I never call my mom out on her drinking, and it's clear she's upset when she walks away.

We jump to being in traffic with Kelli, Kevin, and Don. Traffic is heavy and Kevin is pissed, so we take shortcuts. Down back alleys and up stairs. In his truck. Finally, we're at a new house. Dream Kevin's house. My two brothers are there (I made a note for myself here that said maybe abaddon's story. I have no idea what that means but it was important enough for me to include...) and I'm upset. Maybe the house is haunted?

At this point the notes don't make that much sense to me. I have no idea what this dream was about but I figured I'd leave it in case something comes back to me.

Brother - Aiden - has had enough. We were supposed to watch pitch perfect 2 cut scenes and behind the scenes but his gf comes over and they go to bed (kevin's room) I tell him I'm going to bed and start crying and he does nothing. Upset. He comes back out and a knock at a door I think is a closet. It's not, it's a second front door. Older couple and someone come in. Leave?

Another knock woman comes in pregnant. She comes in she's upset she's pregnant, she turns into my cat. I slowly become lucid. Realize it's a dream and before I wake up I wanna be annoying. Scare and annoy my cat with my shoes. (?) Terrorize animals and then realise it's times to get up. Make myself wake up.

3 October 2016

I will never be able to recollect how I came to be part of a dance troupe let alone how a felt about it. But here I was, getting ready to go on stage and perform with these guys in a dance competition. The Prize? Well I have no fucking idea. The whole thing was rather hazy. I have vague memories of a fictional character that I came up with a while ago. I don't want to share too much about her so for now, we'll just call her Courtney. Courtney was financially backing our dance troupe but I don't remember interacting with her or even talking with her.

Later on in the dream I was observing a Superbowl commercial wherein a phone was being advertised. The phone could be used by leaders to keep a close eye on the working class and keep them in line. In the commercial I saw a coach using the phone to oversee his football team. The team's color was orange and the coach was dressed in nearly all orange. He was a huge asshole and he also owned a store. He was at this store instructing an employee in how to do something. The instruction he was giving was convoluted and overly complex. I do not remember the exact task but it was very simple and did not require such a deep briefing. As he was talking a display of CGI imagery starts to appear typical of that of a Superbowl commercial. Then the coach nonchalantly said "Got it?" before walking away. I do not remember anymore details other than the fact that the commercial took place at night.

With younger sister I entered an old and rusted bus. Driver took us through some woods into an old village. We left the bus and wandered around old cottages. It was cold afternoon and it seemed like it was going to rain. I looked at trees all around, they were quite beautiful. I was intrigued by some strangely shaped leaves. Then the forest disappeared and we found ourselves in some chamber, there was a pedestal with many buttons on it. I stared at it, wondering how it works. Then I recalled that I've seen this chamber before and tried one combination. I pushed buttons to try different set, but it turned on traps. Arrows shot from openings in walls that were put in numerous places, then a robot with appearance of black haired woman in red dress moved and tried to hit us, but it had movement restricted to just one track.

Last night bed at 8:30 or close to 9pm. I'm off today, but I got sleepy and I want to keep my sleep schedule anyway, so I can WILD in the morning.

Had this dream before 1am

I'm in New Zealand. Something like an exchange student, only I'm not a student. But I'm in a family I don't know. The woman is getting me things, showing me rooms. It's a long and detailed dream, but don't remember much except this:

They take me to a large room to meet the elephant. The animal is huge. All black with short, shiny hair. Kinda like beaver hair, just a bit longer. Very dense, black, shiny. I'm standing in front of him and I am a bit sad for him. I'm thinking how I always wanted to touch and elephant's trunk, when he starts moving his trunk to me and he touches my hand with the tip of it. I feel that he is old and smart and I appreciate his touch.

Jay-Z has come to town, and it's a big fucking deal. He's sold out this massive stadium in the park, and there are like 400,000 people waiting in line. At the rear of the stadium is the hood entrance, a spot where all the local gangsters line up and are let in based on how hard they are, and how good at fighting. There are some weird dudes in line that must be superheroes ar something cause one is in a big moth costume and the other guy is filthy frank. I was in the gangster line, and was with the moth guy, right when they were about to stop calling names. I got to the front of the line, and they called the guy directly behind me. Fuck that noise. I start leaving and they're done calling, when they suddenly say my name. I've been called on as security, to defend the one entrance to the building from all of these hoodlums. I stand in the door and everyone asks me if I'm cheesed for not getting picked, but I say that 'I was picked to protect Jay-Z from all you boys' abd I had the highest honor. I left on a motorcycle given to me for this role. I was hanging out with some random girl and talking to her about how much I've lost my memory (which was because I was in a dream, dammit) and then realized I was late for the end of the concert where I had to go give the bike back and meet Jay-Z to get my thanks. I spent like 10 minutes trying on different clothes so I would look like a neon gangster but I was too late so I just left.