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    RelaxAndDream

    short lucid, failing RC but to stubborn to accept it

    by , 10-29-2015 at 03:49 PM (519 Views)
    Bedtime: around 0:00. ate early so stomach was pretty empty. meditated before bed, did some visualization (~15min) sitting in bed before decided to lay down and sleep.

    no long WBTB´s no standing up. just short mantra/intentionsetting no journaling through the night --> maximizing sleep

    - i am at a knowing place at a theater in my old town. there are pallets with stuff like food and color etc on it. some are empty some are full with empty boxes. we start cleaning and sorting out. i kind of coordinate the people (because i worked in a supermarket as a teenager). i go to get my supervisor and show him what we did. i need to go to the toilet try to find a place in the building but i get distracted/have no private space. i go somewhere more far away (i drive with the train?) i am somewhere... dont know if i managed to find a toilet but then i want to go back. i want to ride back with the tram. i ride one or two stations get out and am lost. dont know where i am exactly and what number i need to take. i try to look it up on my phone but have no success.

    -i am at a shoestore with my brother and my dad. he wants us to try some shoes on. i try something on that looks like short gumboots but with leather. they look funny in the mirror and my pants are to short. i decide against the boots. my brother (maybe its a girl now?) labels some boots and have fun with it... my dad was going somewhere. i want to go. two employees talk to each other... something about one of them got evaluated pretty serious and they dont know what to do with it. i see a mother with her child in a shopping caddy. i go there and push a shelf down so it looks like the child was it. i run away behind some other shelfs and i hear the mother complaining. i get a serious bad conscience and go back to get it up again. but i somewhat dont tell the mother it was me. i tell her the shelf is not heavy no problem. she asks "hmm how do you know its not heavy?" because i worked at a supermarket ... we finish and i hug her for goodbye as if we would know each other. i ask her if she is not the mother of this or that child because she seems familiar suddenly. while hugging i get a different vision like with googleglases or robocop with a layer over the seen. i see heartbeat and some other parameters of her. it feels that we are closely to kissing. after that i tell my brother to stop labeling and go get our dad so we meet at the front door.

    8 am:
    -i am infront of my climbing gym. an older teamer i know want so collect sweet chestnuts but there is a problem like its always raining or something? a guy says that you can look up in the internet when to collect where and how the weather is then. she says she doesnt understand. she climbs (way to fast and easy) on a normal chestnuts tree (with nearly no leaves and no fruits because its autumn now) and wants to know what then because there are no...
    i am in a building not far away from that scene and look out of the window. i focus my sight on a car infront of me that wants to park in a parking lot. it brakes very abrupt and then accelerates fast into the parking lot but he didnt stop and keep on driving out of my sight i lean forward to keep looking and see that he drives right though a electricity box or a mailing box? weird. i look down again and see a guy i saw the other day with another guy and the walk pretty fast. a mixture of fast forward and rushed. i get a strange feeling and look at my hands. looks pretty normal. i throw them out of sight and back again fast. a little blurry. i do a noseplug but somewhat i cant breath really. i dont give up and get stubborn. i dont ask but think this is a dream! and do the noseplug again and suddenly i can breath without problem. i dont know what to do. i jump out of the window. and move in the direction where the car was driving. the quality of the dream is pretty bad. everything looks pixelated/grainy. i rub my hands and try to stabilize. while i keep moving i think that it looks like fog and suddenly fog come up. i dont want to enter the fog because i think that it will let me fall into the void and i turn around and wake up.

    maybe i could have tried to stabilize more and be more rigid about it but it dont felt like a mind thing but i think it was because it was too early morning and my sleep was very light/fully rested. after waking up i felt fully awake and not sleepy at all.
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    Comments

    1. MeohMyoh's Avatar
      this is all very interesting to me...the being not sure if dream and deciding it is anyway...cool....the foggy nature of dream...interesting also...
      btw first dreamlet sounds just like one of my old ones...trying to get someplace
      RelaxAndDream likes this.
    2. RelaxAndDream's Avatar
      in the first dream it was not the powerless feeling of beeing lost or a really bad feeling. its more a rational okay how did i get here something dont add up cant be that difficult. i have this some times in dreams that i go somewhere and dont find the way back because it changed. i would say this even rises my awareness a bit because i somewhat know that its the fluid nature of a dream and not my stupidness. but it didnt make me lucid so far
      MeohMyoh likes this.
    3. MeohMyoh's Avatar
      You are very logical, that is true *giggles* That is one problem I need to get over, I am often way to flustered in dreams/concerned about outcomes. Comes with experience I guess, I'll be a pro like you one day...
      RelaxAndDream likes this.
    4. RelaxAndDream's Avatar
      i dont think that you have that much of an influence on the way you behave in non lucid dreams. when you are anxious person you will often dream of guys who stand there in a twilight and probably will come after you. when you are maybe a more exploring or worldopen and self confident person same scenario you the guy its like ah probably my old friend and he will be.
      i think to have this outcome you need to work on yourself during waking life with, i dont know meditation, reflection maybe lucid dreams etc so you change the way you are or perceive the world around you. dont know?^^
      MeohMyoh likes this.
    5. MeohMyoh's Avatar
      True. I think working on ADA should help me with less projection (concepts) and more calm awareness. I'm a workin on it.
    6. Sensei's Avatar
      ah, seems like you accidentally created some fog there. It is good to watch out for stuff like this, but if you don't have control, things like this can be annoying.