Snacks From the Butler's Pantry

I'm in film class, waiting my turn to give my presentation on a quirky indie movie. The film was about a crazy young woman losing her mind. At one point, she cuts the gas line to the water heater, climbs in the bathtub, and lights a match. The entire house blows up, but she is kept safe in the tub. I'm confident I won't have to present until tomorrow. There are too many people before me. This is good, because I'm not at all prepared.

The girl presenting before me does an interpretive dance. She is wearing a one piece outfit, like a bathing suit. It is cut narrow across the chest, exposing her arms, shoulder, and entire breasts on each side. Her dance turns into a stripper's routine towards the end, and she gives me a lap dance. I look at my girlfriend sitting next to me, and can tell she is jealous. It is not even a good lap dance. Her nipples are huge, and really rubbery. She keeps rubbing them in my face in an uncomfortable way.

When she is finished, the teacher calls me to present. I'm not prepared, at all. In fact, I've forgotten the entire plot of the movie. I can't even fake it. In a moment of semi-lucidity, I realize this is a typical dream situation. I run out of the classroom, and jump into the air to fly away. Once outside, I find myself in my old childhood neighborhood. I fly over the redwood suburban fences toward a vacant house on the corner. It is an amazing house. The previous owners must have remodeled it. It looks like an old Greene and Greene house was disassembled and combined with something super modern. I let myself in.

Apparently, the house is not abandoned. The owners are just moving out. They are a nice young couple I recognize from my current neighborhood. I play with their dogs, and learn that one is a pug mix, like my own. I didn't know they grew so big. This one is the size of a large German Shepherd. I help them finish packing. The woman whispers for me to come back later that night for some super secret sex. I retire to the guest suite, waiting for our midnight rendezvous.

As I explore the suite, I see a strange relief carving on the wall. It looks like an animalistic creature with protruding eyes. I press the eye buttons, and hear a mechanical click. The wall slowly slides open to reveal a secret room. The room is the nefarious lair of the woman's husband. He is a werewolf. Just like me! The woman must have noticed that I, too am a werewolf. She must want my help. Deciding to confront the woman, I leave the guest suite. As I make my way down the dark hallway, I feel one of the dogs brush up against me. I reach down in the darkness to pet it, and grab a handful of long, matted fur with thick muscles beneath. My hand comes away, wet with sticky, warm blood. Something is wrong. This is not a dog. It's a wolf.

Too bad I lost the flashlight I normally keep next to my bed, and use to write down dreams. I had an incredible dream last night about a Dream Views meetup. We all met together in a room that reminded me of a high school gym. Someone was asking me whether Stephen Laberge was black, testing to see if I knew who he was. One girl in the group seemed very familiar. She was someone I knew on the forums. Thinking back on it, I believe she was from my old high school, although we were never friends. She was very interested in me, so we made out even though I was not attracted to her at all. At some point, I became lucid and started floating around the room in the lotus position. I can't remember, but I know I did quite a bit more, once lucid.

I was out on the front patio with my father, when I noticed a tan, axe-head shaped UFO flying above us. Startled, I tried to point it out to my father, only to realize he was nowhere to be found. My confusion lasted only a few seconds before I woke from the vision and found myself lying on the ground. I had blacked out, fallen out of my chair, and imagined the entire UFO scenario. The sky was empty except for a flock of small, black birds. Something still did not feel right. I felt a pain in the side of my stomach, like a foreign object was lodged there. Was I just abducted and implanted? Did I really just black out?

Nauseous and dizzy, I made my way to the bathroom. Worried I would black out again, I told my father to come in after me if I wasn't out in two minutes. I sat on the toilet to steady myself, and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was alone in the bathroom, but could feel some sort of presence next to me. As I turned my head to look, my friend Josh appeared from thin air and let out a nightmarish scream right in my face. I screamed, too, feeling a disorienting dual awareness. Josh started dragging me into the mirror as I felt my real body struggling to scream through the sleep paralysis.

I recognized the feeling of a dream, and assumed I must have passed out again. I continued to scream, desperately hoping my father would hear my screams, and come into the bathroom to wake me up. Hands shook me awake. I expected to wake on the bathroom floor with my father, but instead found myself safely in bed with my girlfriend.

I woke from a dream, having to pee really badly. I remembered just waking from a dream where I was using the bathroom. I was really comfortable, and in that sleepy zone. I really didn't want to get out of bed. Suddenly, my girlfriend woke up, and started laughing. Her pajama shorts were soaked, as was a large section of the bedsheets. Apparently I had peed in my sleep, and wet the bed.

I recognized how funny this was, but I was still really embarrassed. I've never done this, even as a child. Something felt wrong as I started climbing out of bed. Looking at my girlfriend in the dark, I said out loud, "I don't think I'm really awake right now." She laughed and said, "You wish this was just a bad dream. You're not dreaming. Get up."

I got out of bed to use the bathroom, while my girlfriend started stripping the sheets off the bed. How humiliating. I fumbled with the light switch for a minute in the dark, but couldn't find it. It was almost pitch black in the bathroom. I finally managed to get the lights on, and sat down on the toilet. I felt extremely tired.

Suddenly, I was back in bed. How did I get here? Did I fall asleep on the toilet? Maybe I was right all along, and that was just a false awakening. I still really did have to pee. I slid over to get out of bed, and felt the wet sheets. Shit! I really did wet the bed! I tried to get out of bed, but couldn't move my body properly. It felt like I was still half asleep. I was extremely disoriented, and felt like I was blacking out. I still really had to use the bathroom. Finally managing to get out of bed, I stumbled into the bathroom.

Again, I couldn't find the light switch in the dark. I accidentally bumped the switch for the fan, and it noisily whirred to life. Beneath the noise, I heard someone breathing close to me. This was followed by the subtle crack of a joint, and the rustle of someone moving in the darkness. Someone was standing right in front of me! I leaned forward, punching as hard as I could. My fist swung through the empty air. I panicked, and again reached for the light switch. This time, I found it, and was temporarily blinded by the sudden bright light. When my vision cleared, I saw I was alone in the bathroom. Strangely, the bathtub was filled with water and children's toys. I sat down on the toilet to calm my heart beat.

Again, I woke up in bed. Another false awakening?! Damn. I rolled out of bed, this time noticing the sheets were not wet. My heart was racing and I still really had to pee, but at least I didn't really wet the bed. I walked around the foot of the bed towards the bathroom. In the dim light, I saw the silhouette of my girlfriend sit up in bed. "Look!" She yelled. "Look! Look!"

I was already terrified from my creepy nightmare false awakenings. This freaked me out even more. I backed against the wall, and started yelling, "What? What's wrong?!" I peered through the darkness, thinking there must be some intruder, large insect, or animal in our bedroom.

"The blankets," My girlfriend replied. "They are all on your side of the bed. I told you I haven't been stealing them in the middle of the night." I remembered teasing her about this the night before when I woke up naked, while she was wrapped in all the blankets like a burrito. "Go to sleep," I said. Then I went and used the bathroom.

I've been having tons of these short spontaneous DILDs lately, even though I haven't been doing anything specifically to cause them. Here are a few from the last week:

The Wolf
Looking in the mirror, I realize something is wrong with the reflection. The reflection of my face looks correct, but my clothes and surroundings are not reflected properly. The objects I am holding don't show up in the mirror, and my body does not even seem to be in the same position. I realize I must be dreaming. I slowly and purposefully make my way out of the house, looking at my hands to stabilize the dream.

As I walk into the front yard, I count my fingers. Six, seven, eight fingers? Everything looks remarkably stable and real, even my eight-fingered hands. I pause for a minute in the front garden. This is not my house, but my childhood home. I stop by the lavender plants, and lean in to smell the small purple flowers. As I look closely at the plants, I notice dozens of bees darting around. I take a deep breath to relax and try to see if I can feel their life energy. I can hear their soft buzzing, and feel the vibrations resonate in my body.

This humming feeling makes my body start to change. I bend over on all fours, looking down at myself to see I have turned into a large white wolf. It feels natural to walk on all four of my legs, so I take off running down the street. I can run incredibly fast, and circle the block faster than I could in my car. As I approach my original starting point again, I see some people on the street. I recognize one of the girls, the sister of an old friend from college. Apprehensively, she reaches down to pet me gently, like a dog. I can tell she is frightened of me. I talk with her for a while, and we end up having sex right on the street. The sex feels strange, and I realize I am still in the body of a wolf. I briefly consider how perverted this scene is, before waking up.

The Bear
I'm wandering around at a concert at an outdoor amphitheater. A path leads to a rocky cliff overlooking the ocean. Steel rails flank the path, separating it from some animal cages, beyond. Zookeepers are busy cleaning the polar bear's cage. I briefly wonder where they keep the bear while they clean. As I turn around to walk back to the concert, my question is answered as I see the polar bear climbing over the railings. He looks right at me, and slowly approaches. He seems friendly and curious about me. I get a strong feeling of love and friendship from him like you get from your dog. Of course, I still continue walking away from him since he is a gigantic, wild polar bear. I don't want to provoke him by running, but I also don't want to get too close to him. Halfway up the path, we are intercepted by another bear. This one is a large black bear the size of a grizzly, but patterned like a sunbear. He and the polar bear stop to sniff each other, while I take the opportunity to run away.

I make it safely back to my group of friends, and start to tell them about the bears. In trying to explain the events, I realize how ridiculous and unbelievable my story sounds. I instantly know I must be dreaming. Before I can consider what to do, I see my polar bear friend making his way through the crowds towards me. I approach him, in awe of his size and majesty. I stroke his fur, amazed at how real and warm it feels. I can feel his powerful muscles moving beneath the thick coat of white fur. It is really intimidating to be so close to such a huge and dangerous animal, even though I know it is a dream. My heart is beating fast, and I feel the adrenaline from the excitement. I wrap my arms around the beast, and bury my face in his soft, sweet smelling fur. He lowers himself down, and I climb onto his back for a ride.

He stands up quickly, throwing me off balance for a second. As I struggle to hold on, I'm surprised to see feathers sprout from his sides. The feathers grow into wings, snow-white and fluffy like an angel. The winged bear leaps into the air, and takes me for a short flight around the outdoor amphitheater. The sudden flight is a little too vivid and unexpected, and the excitement wakes me up.

It is a long walk home, but I don't mind. In fact, I'm secretly glad I missed the bus. I dust the sand off of my flip flops, throw my towel over my shoulder, and start shuffling home. I'm glad I'll get to enjoy the afternoon sunshine a bit longer.

As I pass a new apartment building, I hear laughing and splashing coming from the other side of the fence. It sounds like a pool party. Well, I'm already dressed for the occasion. I bounce on my heels a few times, considering it, then leap into the air in a high arc. I easily clear the tall fence and land, with a splash, in the pool.

Everyone is a bit surprised by this stranger dropping out of the sky and into their party. They seem wary at first, but warm up to me after a few minutes. Most of the people seem familiar in a vague sort of way. I hang out for a while, showing off some fun tricks such as walking on water. Nobody quite comprehends why I have such confidence and control over my surroundings.

Eventually, I convince everyone to come out with me for a night on the town. I tell them I can give them the night of their lives, making all of their wishes come true for the evening. One pale blond girl complains that she is not dressed or prepared for an evening out. She seems awkwardly self conscious. I stand face to face with her in the waist high water, and hold her head in my hands. I tell her to imagine exactly what she wants to look like, and who she wants to be. I run my fingers through her thin hair, and notice she is more pale than I first thought. Her hair is falling out, and her skin is like paper, showing the spidery veins underneath. As I pull her hair away from her ear, I see a trickle of blood. I trace it down her neck to a ghastly open wound torn across her throat. It looks like her neck has been slit, or her throat torn out by an animal. She tells me the wound never healed properly since she died in an accident with her friend several years ago. Not put off, I continue stroking her hair and pouring loving energy into her. We both close our eyes, and when I open mine, she looks like an entirely different person. Her hair is full and freshly styled. Her skin is smooth and flawlessly healed. She is even fully dressed in evening wear, with a professional makeup job.

The club we want to go to, "Point A," is the newest and hottest nightclub in town. The crowd spills out onto the street, and the line stretches around the corner. I calmly make my way through the crowd, walking slowly. I teleport around people by focusing on the space right in front of them. Every time I blink my eyes, I am moved forward another few feet. I take a seat at a crowded table in the corner, surrounded by a group of strangers. I close my eyes, then open them to see the crowd of strangers has transformed into all my new friends from the pool party.

I get into a conversation with one of the guys. I can tell he doesn't like me much. Now that he is out of the pool, I see he is in a wheel chair. His legs are mangled and withered. He says he has grown accustomed to his condition, and doesn't want me to take the injury away from him. I show him how I healed his girlfriend, who is now talking to a random girl from the crowd. He still refuses. His injury has become a part of who he is, and curing it would be like stealing the experience from him. He does admit to wanting a sex life again, making a joke about his legs not being the only thing that got taken from him in the accident. This admission seems to suddenly release him. He instantly transforms into a ghostly 8 year old child in a white suit, and climbs into my lap. I hold him with one arm as I continue chatting with everyone.

From the corner of my eye, I notice a man staring at me. He gets up from his table, and starts making his way across the room. Did I go to high school with him? Is he someone's older brother? I know him from somewhere.

I notice the blond girl I healed is talking to an old friend. This friend looks almost exactly like her. I realize that when I told her to imagine what she wants to look like, she chose this friend as a model. They have the same haircut and the same clothing, but their faces still look different. This new girl has dark, sunken eyes, where my blond friend has brilliant sparkling green. There is something sinister and cruel about this stranger. She climbs on top of me in an aggressive way and kisses me forcefully. She teases me, saying I smell bad, and that my lips are greasy from sunscreen and lip balm. I defend myself, explaining I was at the beach all day rescuing swimmers from shark attacks. I remember back to this part of the dream, and wish I had a dream camera. It will be difficult to remember all the details from that previous adventure.

I lie on my back and relax myself by imagining my feet sinking into the bed. I alternate "pushing" my face and my feet deeper into relaxation. I replay a memory in my mind from earlier in the day, riding my bike through the grassy hills with my little brother. When I feel relaxed enough, I roll to my left side and begin feeling my body hum with energy. The humming gets stronger, vibrating my body until I feel like my head will explode. I encourage the vibrations to get stronger, while keeping my breath even and calm. I imagine the feeling of swaying back and forth, loosening myself from my body.

I am still imagining myself bike riding through a grove of sycamores. This visualization starts to flicker, flashing back and forth to another scene that feels more vivid. In this new scene, I am rollerskating, swaying back and forth down a city street. It feels completely real, but I am still aware of my real body back in bed. I keep myself breathing evenly in the dream, and can feel my real body doing the same back in bed.

I am moving fast, half-skating, half-flying over the steep hills of San Francisco. Buildings flash past me, as I soar inches from the ground, flying faster than a car on a freeway. There are crowds of people all around me, but I weave in and out of them with ease. As I enter the towering skyscrapers of the financial district, I throw out a long cable or rope, hooking it onto a nearby building. I pull myself up on it, launching myself into the air like spiderman. My swing sweeps in a wide arc along the street before shooting me high above the nearby rooftops. Once airborne, I fly around the skyscrapers, admiring their realism and detail.

After several minutes exploring the city from above, I stop midair, and just admire the view I have of the whole city. As I focus my vision on each part of the city, buildings seem to appear and disappear. Each building I look at seems to gain detail, while the others fade into obscurity.

I am still consciously metering my breathing to keep the dream stable. I can feel my body breathing, back in bed. By shifting my attention, I easily return to my body. I use this technique several times to "reset" the dreamscape. Back in bed, I simply fly out of my bedroom, and smash out the front window of my house to fly to a new scene. I explore several different scenes, including some old neighborhoods from my childhood and the picturesque canyon lakes from Twoshadows' photos.

The last time I fly out of my window, I just fly around my neighborhood a bit. It looks like the sun is just coming up, illuminating the bare branches of the winter trees in crisp sunlight. I hover slowly around the neighborhood, even with the tops of the trees. As I watch their swaying branches, they start to sprout buds, then flowers, and finally leaves. The seasons seem to pass before my eyes, and soon the trees are covered in lush green leaves.

I explore some streets I have never been down before, curious to see what they look like. Strangely, they all seem to be from the early 1980s. The cars are stereotypical of the late 70s and early 80s (including some pinstriped Chevy vans that make me laugh). The streets are full of children, playing outside. I land to play some playground ball games with a few of them. I show off a little, throwing the ball impossibly high in the air, then leaping up to catch it. The sight of so many happy children playing outside and enjoying life makes me very emotional. I laugh so hard, I start crying tears of joy. I can feel my real body back in bed laughing and crying, also. It distracts me a little, and brings my attention back.

My girlfriend gets out of bed and starts stomping around the house. She keeps yelling at me to wake up, saying she is making my favorite breakfast. I try to stay in the dream, mumbling to her through my sleep paralysis. She turns on a loud movie called "Order of the Phoenix", apparently a sequel to the movie "The Water Horse."

I finally give up, and open my eyes. Instead of my bedroom, I see an out of place scene of a mirrored closet door. From my viewing angle, I see a strange purple glow reflected from the corner of the mirror. There is something glowing just out of my field of vision. I try to move my head to see, but I am paralyzed. I relax, and let my consciousness drift away from my body so I can see what is glowing. My point of view floats to the side, and I am startled by an unexpected sight. A beautiful, half naked woman is dancing wildly in the corner of the room. Her skin is glowing purple, like a neon sign, and her body is clothed in massive amounts of gold jewelery. I think to myself that she looks like some sort of Hindu goddess. In response to the thought, her dancing and spinning reveals several more sets of arms.

Interrupted, my vision snaps back to where it should be, and I feel like the dream is over. I get out of bed, but notice I am still in the strange room with the mirrored closet door. This must be another false awakening! I see a naked, teenage girl inspecting her reflection in the mirror, unaware of my presence. She is crying, obviously very unhappy about her skinny teenage body. I float over to her, and give her a hug before floating out of the room.

There is a party going on in this house. It seems like a fraternity. I turn visible, and create a body for myself. People are surprised to see me appear, naked, in the middle of their party. They start lightheartedly teasing me and joking with me. I laugh with them, explaining that I am a model, and am doing a photoshoot in this house. A group of guys shows me out to the courtyard garden, where there are tables set up with a catering company. It looks like a wedding reception, or reunion of some kind. We sit down and have some drinks at one of the tables, waiting for our food to come. I explain to them that this is all a dream, and show off some cool tricks. One of the guys throws plates into the air for me. I use my telekinesis to make them fly around and do flips before landing in a stack in my hand.

I slip in and out of lucidity at the party. Eventually, I realize what a long dream this has been, and decide I should wake myself up to write it all down. All together, the dream lasted at least 60-90 minutes, and was incredibly vivid. There were parts I didn't even record in my bedside journal, and parts I left out of this writeup. I wish I had time to write it all down, or explain how much fun it really was.

I haven't posted many dreams lately, because I've been dedicating all my recent lucid dreams to meditating and seeking "the void." I have a lot of stress lately, and meditating while lucid is INCREDIBLE for relaxing and getting back to my true self. Unfortunately, these dreams can't really be written in any interesting way, so I haven't updated in a while. That being said, this next dream slipped through due to... hormones... so I guess I'll post it.

I wake up from a dream about a huge pool party at the Playboy Mansion, but I don't yet open my eyes. Did I set my alarm? Am I late for work? What time is it? As I consider opening my eyes to check the time, I start to see a clock form before me in my mind's eye. The scene develops into a light dream where I walk around my house, checking the time on every clock. I can still feel my body, back in bed. Somehow, I convince myself that I can check the time by comparing every dream-clock in my house. They all say the same thing, 10:30 am. There is no way this is correct.

I realize I'm really close to a lucid dream. The scene around me is very vivid, but I am still completely aware of my body back in bed. I bring my hands up in front of my face, opening and closing my fists and counting my fingers. While I do this, I can feel my real hands in bed doing the same thing. I don't have a full body in the dream, only what I can see of my hands in front of my face. I hold my fists out like superman, and fly slowly out my front door. Out in the sunlight, the dream feels much more stable. I can now feel my feet on the concrete, as I walk down the driveway of my old childhood home. Like a retard, I am still holding my hands out in front of me like superman. They look hyper-real, and I can see every pore and hair on my skin, crisp and clear.

I am still slightly aware of my body lying in bed, and feel crazy horny. The combination of my raging morning-wood and the memories of the playboy pool party are too much. It does not take me long to decide what I want to do. I walk down the street yelling out, "Ladies, ladies, come on out of your houses." In response to my command, people start pouring out of every house on the street. They are all my old friends from when I was a kid in this neighborhood. They are all exactly as I remember them, and are either kids or parents. I continue down the street, yelling for people to come out of their houses, looking for anyone I might want to have sex with. As I round the corner, I see my super hot friend walking down her driveway. She is dressed strangely, but looks great. She is wearing a long, tight purple dress made of denim held closed in the front by a line of large metal buttons.

I meet her halfway down the driveway, and don't even wait to take her inside. We start making out, and I toss her on her back on the front lawn. She hikes her dress up around her waist, while I make my way up her legs with 1,000,000 kisses. She lifts her legs in the air to slip her panties off, like a pinup girl. I look up her body, watching her unbutton the front of her dress. My vision looks strangely distorted for a second, like my perspective is all off. I think for a second, "Yeah, there is a lot of difficult perspective in this scene," as if I were drawing or painting this. I'm afraid I'll lose the dream, and I briefly consider waking myself up to continue this for real with my girlfriend.

Before I can consider it further, I hear a bus pull up. The driver yells at us that we will be late for work, so we climb on board. My friend holds her dress closed with one hand, grabs my hand with the other, and drags me to the back of the bus. Seated in the corner, I keep one hand inside her open dress while the bus driver takes us on a wild ride. The driver is Wallace Shawn from Princess Bride. He narrates the whole trip as he swerves dangerously around the streets, "Woops, that was a stop sign! Look out for the puppy!" I ignore his antics, as my friend slides over to my lap. She reaches back to unzip my fly, then wiggles herself down onto me. It feels so incredible, I nearly wake up. I know I don't have a lot of time until my alarm goes off, so I start going to town on her. Her dress falls open as she leans back to lay her head against my neck. People on the bus keep glancing back at us, getting a great view of her naked body spread out on top of me.

Just as we are finishing up, the bus driver yells at us, telling us we are stopping for lunch. We quickly put ourselves together, and jump off the bus. We are at a small roadside deli. Inside, I see someone from our bus arguing with the cashier. He has buckets full of sodas, and a stack of notecards with everyone's sandwich orders. He bosses me around, trying to get me to order the sandwiches. I tell him, "I've got problems of my own, figure it out." The cashier grabs the notecards, and sends us outside.

This guy keeps yelling at me. I ignore him, and look around at the incredible cityscape that has appeared, where there used to be only empty road. I eventually tell him, "What are you stressed out about? This is all just a dream." To prove it, I hold my hands in front of me, thinking I'll create a small ball of fire to impress him. Nothing appears, except for a small wavy translucent sphere. This is enough to make this asshole stop talking, and look quizzically at me. I try again, and this time I see the air get all wavy and distorted, like heat coming off asphalt on a summer day. Suddenly, the air in front of me explodes into a huge fireball in the shape of a bird. Everyone is knocked to the ground. My whole body is on fire, but I feel no pain. Flames stretch out from my shoulders like huge fiery wings. I look around, flapping my wings slowly, and listening to the heat crackle like a blowtorch. My friend walks out of the deli, her eyes glowing orange with flames, and her own pair of fiery wings trailing behind her. She looks at me with her beautiful fiery eyes, and her wings stretch forward to touch mine. We wrap our wings around each other in a cocoon of dancing flames.

Suddenly, I remember I might not have set my alarm. I want to stay, but I wake myself up so I won't be late for work. Turns out I still had 10 minutes, but that just gave me more time to write this all up.

I'm having drinks with my old roommates, planning an upcoming party for Bay To Breakers. I suddenly realize my friend, who I haven't seen in years, is at the bar. She sits down with us, and we catch up a little. I'm completely amazed by the coincidence, but everyone else seems nonplussed. I especially can't believe the lack of reaction from my roommates who used to jealously compete with each other for her attention. I'm a little mad that nobody else seems to care. Maybe they talk to her every day, or something, but I'm excited to catch up with her. At the last minute, as she is walking out the door, I decide I can't let this opportunity pass. I jump up to walk her home.

Instead of heading back to the hotels, she starts walking towards the beach. It is a long walk, but the warm evening air and full moon make me glad I left the crowded bar. I'm secretly glad we get a long walk, so we can catch up and joke about old times. I'm extremely attracted to her, and super nervous. She is wearing a light one piece sundress over her swim suit, and looks beautifully fresh and warm. I feel like a teenager asking someone out to the prom.

The evening is beautiful, and I briefly wonder why I ever left Hawaii. This confuses me, because I don't know why I am even back here. I haven't lived here in years. Then, I wonder what the heck all my college friends are doing here, too. I don't have much time to ponder this, because before I know it, we are at the beach. We climb down the back side of the dunes to the small cove where she has set up camp with her friends. I don't understand how they can be staying here, so close to the rocky surf. She tells me it has something to do with a summer adventure camp she is leading, and that her friends will be back any minute.

As we hug goodbye, she leans in and kisses me tentatively. I return the kiss, enthusiastically, and we start furiously making out. I kneel in the sand, and reach up under her dress to untie her swim suit. I kiss across her belly and hips, as I run my hands up and down her body, amazed at how smooth and soft her skin is. She pulls the dress off over her head, then sits down to straddle me in the sand, pulling my shirt over my head.

Suddenly, we are interrupted by voices approaching down the beach. Her friends must be on their way back. We grab our clothes, and scramble back up the dunes for more privacy. We find a more secluded place in the grassy sand, but the voices seem to follow us. We are repeatedly interrupted, our mounting passion turning to frustration every time we have to flee further up the hill. At the top of the hill, we come to a cliff where the view opens to a breathtaking panoramic of the beach lit by the moonlight. I see her standing at the edge of the cliff, her beautiful nude body silhouetted against the sparkling water below. She looks incredible, clutching her clothes in one hand, and her long, windblown hair in the other. The scene is just too surreal, and I immediately know this must be a dream.

I approach her, saddened by the knowledge that none of this is real. Her eyes look empty now, as if my lucidity has chased her spirit away. I realize I don't even remember what color her eyes really are. Now that I'm lucid, I can barely even remember what she looks like. My memories of her have faded, blurring her into some generic, cornball beach sex fantasy. I kick myself for never appreciating life enough while I am living it. Too often, I take my friends for granted. I'm frustrated that my memory is so spotty, and that even this hyper-realistic dream recreation is so fake and cheesy.

As I stand eye to eye with her, I think of all the amazing possibilities open to me now that I am conscious in this dream. I can fly directly into the sun, swim with giant squid in the deep ocean, turn into a unicorn that farts leprechauns who fart rainbows. I can feel my mind struggling to tell me I can share these adventures with her; that we are somehow sharing this dream. As much as I want to believe it, her blank stare reminds me that it is not true.

I then realize that I can share this with her in some way. I'll just have to remember it well enough to tell her about it tomorrow. At least I will be able to share the memory of it with her. Like an idiot, I think this is some great epiphany, as if I just invented human communication, or something. I hold her by her shoulders, and excitedly whisper in her ear, "There is so much fun we can have." I immediately rocket us straight up into the night sky. I watch her blank face and empty eyes as we burst through a layer of fluffy cartoon clouds. We hover for a second, weightless at the top of our ascent. I can tell she is trying to hold back a grin, faker! We start to fall, and I feel my stomach lurch like a roller coaster. The exhilarating feeling of the freefall breaks her stoic facade, and she lets out an uncontrollable giggle.

Revived, I take her for a flight along the open ocean. We swoop down along the moonlit water, and back towards the beach. The hilltop where we began has grown to a wide grassy plain. I reach down and feel the damp grass as we glide along, inches from the ground. Up ahead, I can see the remains of a ruined stone city. The masonry is covered in Islamic calligraphy, and I know it is the remains of some great Spanish mosque. We land, and walk around the ruins. Only one arch remains standing. I try to imagine it is a gateway to more dreams and adventures. In response to my thought, it starts to shimmer like some sort of portal. We hold hands and jump through.

There is no transition, only an abrupt scene change to an endless prehistoric swamp filled with gigantic grazing dinosaurs. A series of small islands dot the surface of the murky water. We leap from island to island, saying hello to the bizarre dinosaur creatures like this is some sort of theme park or zoo. All the creatures speak with stuffy Brittish accents. We have small, overly polite conversations with each of them. I begin to lose lucidity doing this, and it ends up turning into an old-school pixelated '80s video game where we have to leap from island to island, smashing skeletons and mummies with giant tree branches.

Eventually, we end up in a modern day city with a large fountain in the center. An evil wizard holds control of the city, and has trapped all our friends in clay. We explore the city, collecting small voodoo dolls of our friends. We bring them to the center fountain, and wash the clay from them in the salt water. This somehow releases the evil magic, and allows our friends to be freed. By the end of the dream, I had the city filled with hundreds of my best friends, all partying at some sort of giant reunion.

I push my sister on a swing at the local park, enjoying the carefree life of children. Suddenly, the sand beneath us starts to move, flowing towards some sort of sink hole in the center of the sand pit. It starts to suck me in, like quicksand. My sister grabs me with one hand, and with the other, holds onto the chain from the swing. There is some sort of terrible vortex or black hole, sucking everything into it. The air swirls like a tornado, crackling with lightning as it is sucked into the vacuum. We hold on, but the vortex sucks in the swing set, hurdling us both into blackness.

We fall into a post apocalyptic world run by evil robots. They recognize us as humans, and chase us relentlessly through a ruined city of blown out buildings and shattered stone. Cornered, we realize we will not be able to escape them. They have been programmed to hunt down humans and kill them, and are perfectly designed for the job. Just when all hope is lost, an old, beat up truck crashes into the crowd. We hop in the back as it speeds away from the town.

The evil robots hop on their motorcycles and give chase, grabbing at us in the bed of the pickup truck as we careen around dangerously narrow mountain roads. We climb into the cab of the pickup truck for safety, only to find it is also being driven by a robot. This robot looks different. His clockwork mechanics look much older than the polished hydraulics of the evil robots. Rusted and dented, he looks like he is barely holding together as his bolts shake loose from the vibrations of the high speed chase. His bottom jaw hangs on a hinge, giving the illusion of a wide goofy smile.

He calmly recounts to us the history of this world, while still swerving dangerously along the mountain roads, harried by hordes of evil high tech robots. He absentmindedly jerks the wheel this way and that, without even seeming to pay attention to the road or the dangerous situation. Apparently, he opened a wormhole in time to find help. This is the future, where robots have destroyed all the humans and taken control of the planet. With no remaining humans, he had to bring us from the distant past. He doesn't seem to notice, or care, that we are just kids.

Our friend's erratic driving and the dangerous winding road combine to knock our pursuers off the sheer cliffs, one by one. As the last one clatters down the rocks, our truck swerves into the side of the mountain, crashes through the thick brush, and into a hidden cave. This is the resistance's secret mountain hideout. Our rescuer is the only remaining member of the good robots who once served the humans. While still rambling incessantly, he leads us deep into the mountain, where an underground hanger houses an enormous futuristic airship, long overgrown with moss and vines. It is clear that our robotic friend is completely insane, but has some sort of harebrained plan to save the world that somehow includes my sister and myself.

After much clanking and kicking, the airship sputters to life, and we launch out of the mountain to take on the evil robotic empire. While we sneak on board the floating capitol city, our robot hacks into the security system to begin sabotaging all aspects of the automated city. Everything goes haywire, the whole city turning on itself. We take advantage of the chaos to confront the evil robot emperor. He is protected by an elite team of 12 invincible super combat robots. They chase us around the throne room as the floating city's guidance system fails, and the whole complex starts to plummet towards its demise.

It is here that our clockwork companion reveals himself as the previous emperor who ruled over a peaceful society where both humans and robots lived in harmony. With what remains of his power, he uses his emperor-level-computer-clearance to access the mainframe and reprogram the elite 12 into his own bodyguards. They turn on the evil emperor, smashing him to a pile of scrap metal. Our robot sits on the throne, and restores order to the city, landing us safely in a grassy flower covered meadow. He opens a portal to send us home. As we wave goodbye, we see primitive humans appear from the treeline of the dense surrounding forest, looking in wonder at the marvelous robot city that has landed in their garden paradise.

Man Of Steel lived in a small rural town. He was a jack of all trades, or a renaissance man. He ran the family store, helped treat the local farm animals when they got sick, and was even on the local fire squad. He was good at many things and always willing to help, but his extreme personality and curiosity got him into trouble a lot.

He and his brother were investigating rumors of a local buried treasure. Apparently, back in the early, wild days of the town, a couple bank robbers had hid money somewhere nearby. MOS's investigation led him into all sorts of unlucky situations and dangerous encounters, eventually leading to his brother's death.

He finally found that the money was buried in the local diner, which used to be the town saloon. This surprised him, because his girlfriend ran this diner, which had been in the family for generations. When he asked his girlfriend about the money, she told him she had found $136 bricked up in the wall several years ago. Maybe that was considered a treasure back in the 1800s, but by today's standards, it hardly seemed worth his brother's death.

I had this dream over the weekend, while out of town, and almost forgot about it.

Someone in TwoShadows's family owns a auto repair shop. I meet her there to have my car serviced. After dropping off my car, I realize I misunderstood. TS was just offering to give me a ride home from the auto repair shop. She wasn't affiliated with the place at all. I feel bad, because the only reason I had my car serviced in the first place was because I wanted to meet her and her family. She gives me a ride over to Aquanina's house to kill some time. Her house is a huge playground jungle-gym surrounded by a chain link fence. Aquanina is running around all over the place, wheeling and dealing on her cell phone.

TwoShadows and I are both really sore, like from a hard workout, a long bike ride, or horseback riding. We sit down on the swings to relax and chat. I'm surprised when she says this is the first time she has ever met anyone from DV in person. I know she was close with a lot of the old Dream Guides, and figured they would have hung out more. I tell her how much I hate the internet, and how it can't compare to real life interaction. I tell her I'm a very physical person, and that simple physical contact, like a handshake, or a goodbye hug means a lot to me. I'm trying to hint that I really want to give her a hug, but she doesn't catch on. (I think this stems from the DV task of the month to hug Clairity).

Some shady looking guy meets Aquanina, and hands her a huge wad of cash. I get the feeling she is selling drugs out of her parents house. I don't feel comfortable being here, especially since they are out of town.

I wake up and go over this dream in my mind. As I do, I slip back into it and get a sort of reinterpretation of it.

TwoShadows and I meet for a date. I know I am a good looking blond woman, and that TS is not yet fully comfortable with dating women. We meet at a very expensive restaurant which I think her family owns. We enjoy a huge meal, and I blow almost a thousand dollars on the bill. Later, I find out that the restaurant was not at all affiliated with her family. It was some overpriced chain place. I'm mad that I gave them so much money. TS and I end up talking about money. I tell her that money means nothing to me, and that I don't care how much money I spend, as long as I am comfortable with where it is going. Being in small business myself, I like to support other small businesses, especially those that are owned by people I know. We end up agreeing to focus on what is important, and spend our money on more important things in the future. Donating it, supporting local arts and business, or helping our friends. She says we're lucky that the things we both enjoy most out of life don't cost anything anyways.

I feel a jolt of electricity sizzle in the center of my brain for a split second before it disappears completely. I relax, and bring my attention back to the spot. The vibrating energy returns, stronger. My attention seems to sustain it. The vibration grows, and soon encompasses my entire body. I know I am entering a dream, so I create a beach scene and watch it appear around me. I hover above the red sand, floating slowly forward on the breeze as I try to remember what I wanted to do.

I remember I wanted to shoot someone with cupid's arrow. People are splashing in the water further down the beach, so I catch the wind and speed towards them. As I approach, I reach behind my back to pull out a shining metal bow with red accents. I draw back an arrow, aim, and release it into the small crowd. The arrow makes me chuckle. It looks like a sex toy or phallus, thick and pink with a heart shaped tip. It flies straight towards a beautiful young woman who is bent over splashing in the water, and sinks suggestively in her rear. She turns around, and looks around for me with a look of pure lust in her eyes. She walks towards me slowly, stripping off her swimsuit as she approaches. She presses her naked breasts against me, and leans up on her tip toes to kiss me. When I get a good look at her face, I realize she is beautiful, but much too young. From up close, she looks like a child. Uncomfortable, my consciousness drifts back to myself in bed, and I think briefly about what this means. This very adult holiday is based on the complicated themes of love and sex, but sold to schoolchildren in boxes of cartoon valentines and candy hearts that say "kiss me". Something is wrong with this holiday.

As I lie in bed, I hear voices all around me. A group of people are shuffling around in the doorway, apparently filming a movie with a boom microphone and a camera. I try to make out what they are saying, but am suddenly startled by the appearance of two disembodied eyes hovering in the darkness at the foot of my bed. They materialize into a face I recognize as my old roommate who passed away several years ago. As his body materializes before me, he starts to speak quickly. At first it sounds like he is speaking Hawaiian. I can barely make out a word or two. Eventually, I catch one phrase. He warns me, "You are in danger. You will be called to defeat great evil." I struggle to speak through my paralysis as I watch him fade back to two glowing eyes. I wiggle my big toe furiously, but can not wake up.

My girlfriend climbs out of bed to use the bathroom, finally waking me up. I watch her slide the bathroom door closed, and hear the toilet lid open. Lying still in bed, I focus on the door, and will it to open with my mind. I see it shake a little, then slowly begin to inch open as if by telekinesis. I call out through the opening door, "I know you are not my girlfriend. Who are you?" The door draws back, and my girlfriend looks up, locking me in her gaze. Her eyes are pitch black and glossy, like an animal or an alien. Without answering me, she charges the bed, and leaps on top of me. I struggle against my paralysis as she grapples with me. My strength returns all at once. In an uncontrollable burst, I grab her and leap out through the patio doors, shattering the glass all around us and slamming into the stone garden wall. Frightened I hurt the creature, I hold its hands tenderly. Billowing white wings unfurl from my back, and I float upwards gently into the night sky. I look down, holding this creature's hands as I carry it with me into the chilly air. I watch the land shrink below me. Soon, it looks like nothing but a map, and I am alone, surrounded by stars.

I flap my wings, tuck them behind my back, and dive back down to earth in a freefall. The land speeds towards me, too fast to make out any details. At the last second, I spread my huge wings, and feel them catch the air. I swoop along the ground, and rise to the tops of the brownstone buildings. I soar along the tree lined boulevard, enjoying its beauty and peacefulness. Two friends from high school are walking, hand in hand on the street below. I call to them, and drop down to say hello.

I wake up abruptly in the darkness of a strange room. It is my house in Hawaii. I walk out to the hallway, and into the other room. The room is dimly lit by the glow of a computer screen. My brother is playing video games, and explaining all sorts of complicated things I don't understand. I try to listen, but am distracted by something out of the corner of my eye. It looks like a little boy. As soon as I look at him he vanishes as if he was never there. I try to watch him out of my peripheral vision. When I quickly swing my head to look again, I see it is a black cat hiding beneath the table. His unnatural, unblinking eyes glisten wet and black as he locks me in a staring match, like cats do. He freezes for only a moment, before jetting out of the room into the hallway. I follow him, calling out to him, "I have more questions for you. I don't want to hurt you." As I say this, I round the corner of the doorway and come face to face with the creature. His towering, humanoid form fills the hallway, almost too big to stand fully upright. In the dim light, I see his twisted muscles bulging powerfully beneath his short velvety black fur. He bends down so his feline face is inches from my own. His empty black eyes meet mine as he growls in a low rumbling voice, "You could not hurt me if you wanted to."

The door was left open, giving us the perfect opportunity to explore. The tunnel led deep into the sewers below the city. It was lit strategically with vents and skylights that led up to the street above. The dim light revealed just enough so we could follow the trail. It was obvious someone had come this way before us.

The water tumbled through the twisting channels, soupy with human waste and disease. A flimsy plywood bridge spanned the gap, soggy from the wet air. I led the way across, confident the bridge could hold my weight. I would have made it, except for my overeager companions. They did not wait for me to make it to the other side before joining me, and the bridge collapsed under our combined weight. I squeezed my eyes tightly closed, and held my breath as I hit the filthy water. I did not want to let any of the infectious soup enter my mouth or eyes. With eyes closed, I felt my way along the slimy stones to the safety of the other side.

I lost my friends in the scramble, but did not care to wait for them. Before me was a wooden door set into the moldy stone wall. It looked neatly sanded and oiled, with a welcome mat and brass door knocker. Before I could think to knock, it opened, revealing the smiling face of an older gentleman smoking a pipe. He invited me in without hesitation, happy to have a visitor, even one covered in wet sewage.

His home was warm and dry. It looked surprisingly nice for being located in the sewers. Fine hardwoods lined the walls, and thick carpets were piled on the stone floor. There was a full, luxuriously sized bathroom with clean running water and a shower. There were even windows that opened out onto a busy cobblestone street. This made the least sense to me. I could not figure out why anyone would build a house so centrally located that could only be accessed from the maze like sewers.

My host seemed very familiar to me, and we immediately started conversing like old friends. He told me about his bizarre history. Wrongfully accused of child molestation, his reputation was ruined, and he lost his job as a school teacher. It didn't matter that he was proven innocent. His family and friends all abandoned him. He knew of this abandoned hideout from his childhood. The neighborhood kids used to sneak in on parade days to safely throw things out the windows at the people below.

I saw he had a dream journal, so I asked him about lucid dreaming. It just so happened he was an avid lucid dreamer, and knew many people in the DV staff. He said he had disagreements with the way the DV staff was treated, so left for another forum. I got his phone number and email address and promised to look him up.

I am almost in a dream, when I feel my girlfriend cuddle up close to me. Frustrated, I try to shake her off. I am too rough, and she wakes up. She gets angry, and starts yelling at me to wake up. I realize this is part of the WILD, and that I am hallucinating. The dream is close, so I mumble through the paralysis, "Fuck off, I'm trying to dream." I concentrate harder, blocking out the hallucination. My mind's eye sees nothing but darkness. I look harder, trying to look past my imagination and use my real dream eyes. The darkness takes on a swirling texture. I realize it is asphalt, seen close up and at high speed. Like riding in the car with your head out the window, looking directly down at the road. I see yellow striping on the road as I zoom my vision out. Focusing on really using my eyes to see, everything becomes super vivid and sharp. I can't believe that just moments ago, this was all just my hazy, distant imagination.

I am flying along a city street, trying to remember what I wanted to do with this dream. I decide to go to the mall to track down some hot young women. I haven't had a good sex dream in a while. Before I get too far, I snap out of the dream, and find myself back in bed, lying on my side. I lie still, and feel a wave of vibration take me again. Repeating the hallucination from earlier, I feel my girlfriend cuddle up to me from behind. She starts kissing my neck, and tickling my side. I know this is a hallucination, so I try to ignore it. Her kissing becomes painful, as she sucks hard on my neck. Her tickling turns to pinching, as she starts digging her fingers painfully into my side. I know this is not my girlfriend. A monster is in my bed. She starts to bite and chew on my neck and shoulder, tearing into my skin. I feel her ripping chunks away from my bloody neck, as she sucks my life energy from my veins. I open my eyes, and see a terrible monster atop me. Its hideous face fills my vision, all teeth, fangs, and gore. Calm. Stay calm.

I see the ground zooming along below me again, as I leave the nightmare behind. This time, I am in my back yard, flying along my stone wall. I worry I will never be able to get to the mall in time before I wake up. An outdoor coffee counter is in the distance, run by a beautiful young woman. I land, push my way to the front of the line, and order her to undress. I give her specific instructions as she strips off her apron and overalls. The manager is yelling at me, but I explain to him this is all a dream. The woman gets really into the exhibition of undressing in front of her coworkers. She leads us all upstairs to her apartment. Looking through her record collection, I realize this was a setup. She is actually a prostitute, and the manager is her pimp. He pulls a knife on me, and attacks. I fend off his attacks easily with my super reflexes and strength. I scoop up the nude woman, and walk her downstairs. Her pimp follows me, stabbing and slashing at me wildly from behind. I laugh at him, telling him there is nothing he can do to hurt me.

Suddenly, the world changes, and I am alone and confused in a dense jungle. I wonder at the speed and suddenness of the transition.

The jungle is beautiful. It is a magical, prehistoric looking forest with exotic plants everywhere. A dense mist hangs high in the air, but it does nothing to stop the bright light. It only refracts it into rainbow colors that change as I wander through the trees. Strange insects, like butterflies dance around me in groups. I remember that I have been to this place before. I have been wanting to come back here.

Before I can think about it too much, the ground shakes, and I look up just in time to see four huge legs stomping directly over me. It must be some sort of dinosaur, in this prehistoric land. The only thing I can see are its four gigantic legs, leading unimaginably high into the mist. Now scared, I run to the nearest tree, and start to climb. I imagine the tree will give me some protection from any predatory dinosaur. I scramble into the branches, and look out over the landscape. I see hazy shapes walking upright, moving through the mist. Just in time! They must be T-Rex dinosaurs stalking the large 4-legged one I saw earlier. I climb higher, hoping to get above their reach.

As I climb higher, I see the landscape has changed. It looks drier. Sparse with only scattered trees. It looks more like the Australian or African bush. This tree is on the edge of a clearing. Standing alone in the middle of the clearing is a single majestic tree. It is seated in an intricately decorated wooden pot, raised on a solitary island of red rock. The tree is so large, I can't comprehend its scale. The pot alone must be the size of a city block. Its roots spill out of the pot, and climb down the cliffs to the ground below. Its trunk stretches tall and straight to the sky above. Resembling bamboo, a palm, or tall grass, it is like no tree I have ever seen.

Still high in the canopy of my own tree, I climb out along a branch that stretches into the clearing. It bends precariously. I lean my weight back and forth, swinging the branch further and further into the clearing. As it comes close to the solitary tree, I time my jump, then leap out towards its trunk. More a flight than a leap, the lonely tree seems to pull me towards it with a magnetic force. I embrace its trunk with my arms and legs, feeling its powerful energy radiating into me. It empowers me, and I climb easily up the straight trunk.

Either I begin to grow, or the tree begins to shrink. It soon seems too small for me. It feels like I am climbing the pole of a tall stand lamp. The lamp shade blocks my way, but I can see the glow of the bulb just beyond. I press myself tight against the trunk/pole, and squeeze through the barrier to the open sky above. The tree is thin beneath me, as I balance on its peak. I feel like I am standing on a blade of grass.

I look back at the forest. I see the creatures I mistook for Dinosaurs are actually giants. They stand waist high in the canopy of trees, wading through carefully. There are two of them, walking arm in arm. They remind me of businessmen, with neatly kept shoulder length hair. One is incredibly beautiful, but silent. The other is balding and overweight. He is talking nonstop, chuckling at his own jokes. I call to them, "Hello?! I have some questions!"

The silent one looks directly at me, surprise in his beautiful green eyes. I feel absolutely hypnotized by his gaze, as if one of his eyes fills my entire vision. I lose myself, staring into the endless depths of the green ocean. "Oh, hello." Surprised, he greets me like an old friend, by name.

I remember myself, and reply, "I have some questions. What am I supposed to be doing with my life? What is the point of all this?" I want to explain my question further, but his easy answer silences me. His green eye sparkles around me as he says, "Aren't you enjoying it? Hopefully you will have a chance to learn and grow from the experience."

Before I can ask any more questions, his balding friend starts to laugh dismissively, returning to his endless stream of babble. He reminds me of a salesman, trying to maintain a hold on the conversation. I get the feeling he does not like me much. He makes me uneasy in the same way the beautiful one makes me comfortable.

(I wake up. Later, when I wake for the morning, I wander into the bathroom in a haze. I see a new mole has grown on my neck. The skin around it looks red, like I was scratching it. I ask my girlfriend about it, surprised it could have appeared overnight. It is only later, that I read back through my journal and realize the mole is in the exact spot where the nightmare creature was biting me )