Snacks From the Butler's Pantry

I feel a jolt of electricity sizzle in the center of my brain for a split second before it disappears completely. I relax, and bring my attention back to the spot. The vibrating energy returns, stronger. My attention seems to sustain it. The vibration grows, and soon encompasses my entire body. I know I am entering a dream, so I create a beach scene and watch it appear around me. I hover above the red sand, floating slowly forward on the breeze as I try to remember what I wanted to do.

I remember I wanted to shoot someone with cupid's arrow. People are splashing in the water further down the beach, so I catch the wind and speed towards them. As I approach, I reach behind my back to pull out a shining metal bow with red accents. I draw back an arrow, aim, and release it into the small crowd. The arrow makes me chuckle. It looks like a sex toy or phallus, thick and pink with a heart shaped tip. It flies straight towards a beautiful young woman who is bent over splashing in the water, and sinks suggestively in her rear. She turns around, and looks around for me with a look of pure lust in her eyes. She walks towards me slowly, stripping off her swimsuit as she approaches. She presses her naked breasts against me, and leans up on her tip toes to kiss me. When I get a good look at her face, I realize she is beautiful, but much too young. From up close, she looks like a child. Uncomfortable, my consciousness drifts back to myself in bed, and I think briefly about what this means. This very adult holiday is based on the complicated themes of love and sex, but sold to schoolchildren in boxes of cartoon valentines and candy hearts that say "kiss me". Something is wrong with this holiday.

As I lie in bed, I hear voices all around me. A group of people are shuffling around in the doorway, apparently filming a movie with a boom microphone and a camera. I try to make out what they are saying, but am suddenly startled by the appearance of two disembodied eyes hovering in the darkness at the foot of my bed. They materialize into a face I recognize as my old roommate who passed away several years ago. As his body materializes before me, he starts to speak quickly. At first it sounds like he is speaking Hawaiian. I can barely make out a word or two. Eventually, I catch one phrase. He warns me, "You are in danger. You will be called to defeat great evil." I struggle to speak through my paralysis as I watch him fade back to two glowing eyes. I wiggle my big toe furiously, but can not wake up.

My girlfriend climbs out of bed to use the bathroom, finally waking me up. I watch her slide the bathroom door closed, and hear the toilet lid open. Lying still in bed, I focus on the door, and will it to open with my mind. I see it shake a little, then slowly begin to inch open as if by telekinesis. I call out through the opening door, "I know you are not my girlfriend. Who are you?" The door draws back, and my girlfriend looks up, locking me in her gaze. Her eyes are pitch black and glossy, like an animal or an alien. Without answering me, she charges the bed, and leaps on top of me. I struggle against my paralysis as she grapples with me. My strength returns all at once. In an uncontrollable burst, I grab her and leap out through the patio doors, shattering the glass all around us and slamming into the stone garden wall. Frightened I hurt the creature, I hold its hands tenderly. Billowing white wings unfurl from my back, and I float upwards gently into the night sky. I look down, holding this creature's hands as I carry it with me into the chilly air. I watch the land shrink below me. Soon, it looks like nothing but a map, and I am alone, surrounded by stars.

I flap my wings, tuck them behind my back, and dive back down to earth in a freefall. The land speeds towards me, too fast to make out any details. At the last second, I spread my huge wings, and feel them catch the air. I swoop along the ground, and rise to the tops of the brownstone buildings. I soar along the tree lined boulevard, enjoying its beauty and peacefulness. Two friends from high school are walking, hand in hand on the street below. I call to them, and drop down to say hello.

I wake up abruptly in the darkness of a strange room. It is my house in Hawaii. I walk out to the hallway, and into the other room. The room is dimly lit by the glow of a computer screen. My brother is playing video games, and explaining all sorts of complicated things I don't understand. I try to listen, but am distracted by something out of the corner of my eye. It looks like a little boy. As soon as I look at him he vanishes as if he was never there. I try to watch him out of my peripheral vision. When I quickly swing my head to look again, I see it is a black cat hiding beneath the table. His unnatural, unblinking eyes glisten wet and black as he locks me in a staring match, like cats do. He freezes for only a moment, before jetting out of the room into the hallway. I follow him, calling out to him, "I have more questions for you. I don't want to hurt you." As I say this, I round the corner of the doorway and come face to face with the creature. His towering, humanoid form fills the hallway, almost too big to stand fully upright. In the dim light, I see his twisted muscles bulging powerfully beneath his short velvety black fur. He bends down so his feline face is inches from my own. His empty black eyes meet mine as he growls in a low rumbling voice, "You could not hurt me if you wanted to."