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    Snacks From the Butler's Pantry

    Sex on The Beach

    by , 06-10-2010 at 12:43 AM (1584 Views)
    I'm having drinks with my old roommates, planning an upcoming party for Bay To Breakers. I suddenly realize my friend, who I haven't seen in years, is at the bar. She sits down with us, and we catch up a little. I'm completely amazed by the coincidence, but everyone else seems nonplussed. I especially can't believe the lack of reaction from my roommates who used to jealously compete with each other for her attention. I'm a little mad that nobody else seems to care. Maybe they talk to her every day, or something, but I'm excited to catch up with her. At the last minute, as she is walking out the door, I decide I can't let this opportunity pass. I jump up to walk her home.

    Instead of heading back to the hotels, she starts walking towards the beach. It is a long walk, but the warm evening air and full moon make me glad I left the crowded bar. I'm secretly glad we get a long walk, so we can catch up and joke about old times. I'm extremely attracted to her, and super nervous. She is wearing a light one piece sundress over her swim suit, and looks beautifully fresh and warm. I feel like a teenager asking someone out to the prom.

    The evening is beautiful, and I briefly wonder why I ever left Hawaii. This confuses me, because I don't know why I am even back here. I haven't lived here in years. Then, I wonder what the heck all my college friends are doing here, too. I don't have much time to ponder this, because before I know it, we are at the beach. We climb down the back side of the dunes to the small cove where she has set up camp with her friends. I don't understand how they can be staying here, so close to the rocky surf. She tells me it has something to do with a summer adventure camp she is leading, and that her friends will be back any minute.

    As we hug goodbye, she leans in and kisses me tentatively. I return the kiss, enthusiastically, and we start furiously making out. I kneel in the sand, and reach up under her dress to untie her swim suit. I kiss across her belly and hips, as I run my hands up and down her body, amazed at how smooth and soft her skin is. She pulls the dress off over her head, then sits down to straddle me in the sand, pulling my shirt over my head.

    Suddenly, we are interrupted by voices approaching down the beach. Her friends must be on their way back. We grab our clothes, and scramble back up the dunes for more privacy. We find a more secluded place in the grassy sand, but the voices seem to follow us. We are repeatedly interrupted, our mounting passion turning to frustration every time we have to flee further up the hill. At the top of the hill, we come to a cliff where the view opens to a breathtaking panoramic of the beach lit by the moonlight. I see her standing at the edge of the cliff, her beautiful nude body silhouetted against the sparkling water below. She looks incredible, clutching her clothes in one hand, and her long, windblown hair in the other. The scene is just too surreal, and I immediately know this must be a dream.

    I approach her, saddened by the knowledge that none of this is real. Her eyes look empty now, as if my lucidity has chased her spirit away. I realize I don't even remember what color her eyes really are. Now that I'm lucid, I can barely even remember what she looks like. My memories of her have faded, blurring her into some generic, cornball beach sex fantasy. I kick myself for never appreciating life enough while I am living it. Too often, I take my friends for granted. I'm frustrated that my memory is so spotty, and that even this hyper-realistic dream recreation is so fake and cheesy.

    As I stand eye to eye with her, I think of all the amazing possibilities open to me now that I am conscious in this dream. I can fly directly into the sun, swim with giant squid in the deep ocean, turn into a unicorn that farts leprechauns who fart rainbows. I can feel my mind struggling to tell me I can share these adventures with her; that we are somehow sharing this dream. As much as I want to believe it, her blank stare reminds me that it is not true.

    I then realize that I can share this with her in some way. I'll just have to remember it well enough to tell her about it tomorrow. At least I will be able to share the memory of it with her. Like an idiot, I think this is some great epiphany, as if I just invented human communication, or something. I hold her by her shoulders, and excitedly whisper in her ear, "There is so much fun we can have." I immediately rocket us straight up into the night sky. I watch her blank face and empty eyes as we burst through a layer of fluffy cartoon clouds. We hover for a second, weightless at the top of our ascent. I can tell she is trying to hold back a grin, faker! We start to fall, and I feel my stomach lurch like a roller coaster. The exhilarating feeling of the freefall breaks her stoic facade, and she lets out an uncontrollable giggle.

    Revived, I take her for a flight along the open ocean. We swoop down along the moonlit water, and back towards the beach. The hilltop where we began has grown to a wide grassy plain. I reach down and feel the damp grass as we glide along, inches from the ground. Up ahead, I can see the remains of a ruined stone city. The masonry is covered in Islamic calligraphy, and I know it is the remains of some great Spanish mosque. We land, and walk around the ruins. Only one arch remains standing. I try to imagine it is a gateway to more dreams and adventures. In response to my thought, it starts to shimmer like some sort of portal. We hold hands and jump through.

    There is no transition, only an abrupt scene change to an endless prehistoric swamp filled with gigantic grazing dinosaurs. A series of small islands dot the surface of the murky water. We leap from island to island, saying hello to the bizarre dinosaur creatures like this is some sort of theme park or zoo. All the creatures speak with stuffy Brittish accents. We have small, overly polite conversations with each of them. I begin to lose lucidity doing this, and it ends up turning into an old-school pixelated '80s video game where we have to leap from island to island, smashing skeletons and mummies with giant tree branches.

    Eventually, we end up in a modern day city with a large fountain in the center. An evil wizard holds control of the city, and has trapped all our friends in clay. We explore the city, collecting small voodoo dolls of our friends. We bring them to the center fountain, and wash the clay from them in the salt water. This somehow releases the evil magic, and allows our friends to be freed. By the end of the dream, I had the city filled with hundreds of my best friends, all partying at some sort of giant reunion.

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