memorable

Had this dream on afternoon July 10th

I'm late for something. I stop by my parents. Houses are still being built in the community. He's clearing up the backyard. It's late autumn. Other members of the family arrive. My dads side. One of my cousins has a horse. He's new to riding. He tries to ride her up a hill and she refuses. I grab her reins and calm her down. My cousin is scared. I offer to go grab a lead rope and lead her up. He agrees; he's very scared. We walk all the way back and I found a lead. We turn around to go back- the rest of the family has gone inside. We walk around and I give him horse advice, assure him it's alright.

I then realize my dying grandma has left and I didn't say goodbye. I'm upset. I go home. My dying grandma is there on the couch. She asks my sister to get her a glass of milk and one walnut. She screeches it. She says "Just one!" I select a few and wrap them in the paper towel. I walk over and sit next to her, waiting for her to ask for her walnut.

My grandmother died on May 28

I had this dream on the night of April 6, 2011

I was on a trip with a group of colleagues for business. Our first stop was New York, where I remember saying I really wanted to try the pizza. We walked around and were near the water and I kept having a feeling of urgency. I knew that we were on a deadline and needed to board a flight to go to another location for yet another meeting.

Next stop was Chicago. I remember being disappointed because I hadn't tried the pizza in NY. After landing, we went to find our hotel as it was night and our meeting wasn't until the next morning.

Upon arrival, we got a call from our boss that myself and another one of my colleagues would have to go to yet another place for a private meeting with the Japanese. We were apprehensive, but I remember thinking that I'd like to get to know this colleague and so we grabbed our bags and boarded a plane.

Upon arrival, we began to look for the representatives that would show us to our hotel. We settled in and were told we would take a ferry the next day to our new location in Japan. We were sharing a room and I thought it was uncomfortable as I was engaged to be sharing a room with this colleague.

That night, we were told to board the ferry so we grabbed our things and got in line. Many other Japanese businessmen were in line. My colleague told me he was concerned because we were going close to where the tsunamis had hit before. I too was nervous, but I told him that there hadn't been another earthquake.

However, as we were waiting in line a businessman got a call and started shouting. We anxiously waited for someone who spoke English to tell us what was going on. However, we soon realized that another earthquake had hit and we began to prepare for the waves. We were boarding the ferry (as it was safer than being on land) and I remember thinking how upset I was that I hadn't packed any anti-nausea medication for the sea.

Around the time I had this dream, Japan had a 7.4 earthquake that was followed by tsunami warnings

These are fragments from dreams that I had well over a year ago.

Dream #1: My Grandmother had died not long before this dream. This is one of the dreams I had

We are in a mall like store. It is around Christmas time. There are bows and decorations everywhere. There are shoppers. I am alone. I then see my grandmother, but she is young. She is wearing a dark maroon velvet dress and beautiful earrings. Her hair is up in an updo and she is wearing heels. She looks so beautiful- she must be in her thirties. She doesn't talk, just smirks and I am chasing her. I don't know what to call her, because she is obviously too young to be a grandmother. She is running around the various display cases and I am chasing after her. Other shoppers start to run after us too. I follow her around until we reach a door in the rear of the store. She opens it and runs down a flight of stairs. I run after her, a younger man behind me. She stops at the bottom, where there is a door. She bars it with her body and I know I can't go in. I turn to look at the boy behind me, and he tells me "We can't follow her there". My grandmother opens the door and its very light on the other side. She disappears into the light.

Dream #2: Same time frame

I am at my grandparents ranch. It is foggy and the trees across the street at large and full grown. It is chilly, misty. I am looking for my grandfather. I see someone rocking in a swing out front. I am alarmed. I walk over to the figure, who is white. It is my grandmother, but she is rotting and dead. I want to scream in my dream, but I can't. I just stare at her, with her eyes and nose both vacant and her flesh loosely hanging on bones.

Dream #3: This may include fragments from many dreams, but they are all interconnected

I am at my grandparents' ranch. I am usually trying to get out a horse or I am visiting my grandfather. It is usually dusk, or getting dark. Each of these times, my grandmother appears. She appears as she was when I remember her being healthy and happy. Not when she was dying from the cancer. I remember I would ask her what she was doing here. I ask her how she can be here if she's dead. She just smiles at me and doesn't answer. I try to tell other people that she's back but they give me strange looks.

Dream #4: I had this dream well over 2 years ago

I am playing in my other grandparents' backyard in Modesto. It is the Oakbrook house. Its backyard lines up to the river bottom. The lawn swoops downward from the house. I remember I am running up and down the backyard. I feel something strange in my ear. I pull it- a blue chord appears. When I tuck it, I can feel it pulling out of my ear. Like its part of my ear drum. I immediately try to stuff it back in, but it is loose and spills out. I am alarmed. I remember it is sunny, warm, and there is a lemon tree in the backyard.

Dream #5: I had this dream well over 2 years ago

I remember sitting in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. When I open my mouth, I see my teeth are loose. I pull on them and my entire top row of teeth and gums comes loose. It is dark and decayed. It falls from the roof of my mouth in layers, like a layered biscuit. I am horrified and try to push it back up.

Dream #6: This dream was well over 2 years ago

I am at my grandparents' ranch. I can't remember what i'm doing, but I hear an explosion and I see the sky light up in bright oranges and dark plumes of smoke. The shockwave of the nuclear blast reaches me and I am consumed. I then wake up, and I am still alive. My vision is blurry, there is soot and dirt falling everywhere, and I feel my way around. I find it strange that I survived a nuclear explosion. Everything around me is on fire and dead or dying.

I had this dream Dec. 16. Slept more than usual

I was at my parents house. I had parked my car there, but for some reason, someone impounded it. I knew I had to be at work, and was running around trying to find out where the impound yard was. Passersby said it was at the bottom of the road, in the old junkyard. I was trying to find it, but was slow and sluggish and couldn't get there quickly enough. I remember studying the 'No Parking' signs on the road and they showed that I had parked legally during a specific time frame. I was furious.

--

Everyone was wearing civil war era clothing. Bright colors, red coats- for some reason. We were out in the desert, moving the troops. I was there with my fiance/husband. He was a colonel of some kind- had authority. In my dream, I had a vision I was going to be shot. I remember falling down, then seeing blood on my necklace in front of me. I told my husband this, and he was concerned, and told me he would protect me. We continued on. We came into a skirmish, I was shot. I remember falling down and my necklace wasn't there. But then I reached in my pocket, and there it was, a bright, silver chain covered in red blood. My husband was there and he was holding me and I told him not to let me go.

--

We were inside a dwelling. There were people crying, wearing dark colors. There were a few people seated on a bench, holding vigil candles. I remember being confused, until I saw my husband on the bench. He looked sick. I realized that he was terminally ill. He was going to die. I began to cry too, and I tried to reach him, but they held me back. They handed each of the loved ones of the 'victims' on the bench a token of thanks from the government. I remember they gave me a pendant and a bristled, rug-like material that had on it his coat of arms for my husband. I sank down with the items and I sobbed, staring at him. I was pleading for him not to go. That I needed him. That I couldn't live without him. He sadly observed me, but he was powerless.

A man appeared with a green liquid in clear glasses. I knew it was poison. I began to shriek, clinging to the rug they'd given me. A younger man took the poison first. It bulged in his cheeks as he almost vomitted. It must have tasted horrible. He was afraid to swallow and stood there, the liquid in his mouth. An older woman grasped a glass and swallowed, gagging as it went down. She then sat down and 'dozed off'. I was overcome with grief. I was reaching for my husband as he took a glass. He quickly drank it and then seated himself on the bench. I was crying out for him, laying on the floor, people holding me back, my fingers clawing at the floor. He was looking at me, and I could see the poison working. I was screaming, crying, sobbing. My entire world was ending. I watched him as he slowly slipped away into death. I lay on the ground while everyone died, and then they began to take the bodies away. I stared at the rug and noticed I'd worn claw marks into it. I continued to sob into it.

--

I was walking down the streets in LA (or what was in my mind LA). It was getting dark and it was cold. I was walking down the road, there was a large grassy area to my right and older, brick buildings to my left. I was walking and noticed I'd gotten into a darker place and there were homeless people laying by the buildings. I grew alarmed and tried to run, but could only walk. I then spotted the Long family. They were eating a picnic in the park. They saw me and they told me I had to leave with them; that this wasn't a safe place to be alone. We were walking together, and I saw my dad on a bike. I called out to him, but he just kept riding.

--

We were in a restaurant and I was showing off my ring to the Longs. They were admiring it. It was sunny and warm. We then walked down the stairs into a courtyard with cobblestones.

I woke up

We were going fishing, my fiance and I. we were deep in the woods, redwoods, the ground was warm and the sun was filtering through the canopy of needled branches. He was at the front of the car, unloading our bags, and I was walking around to the back to get something out. As I went to open the handle, I noticed two eyes staring at me. Dark eyes with dark hair that was covered in a fine mist of the same dirt I was stepping on. Burrowed into the dead pine needles so I didn't see, so we didn't notice. I couldn't see anything but his eyes up, but I knew that he was smiling, a devilish grin. I remember choking on my words, trying to yell to my fiance to help. I couldn't get the words out, and the man was crawling out from under the bumper, like a spider extending its limbs to hunt its prey. I backed up, started running around to the front of the car, yelling "Stop, leave us alone!"

The man didn't talk, circled the car, I was standing in front of my fiance, he was trying to stand in front of me, a dance of protection. The stranger had that startling smile on his face and began to approach us. I suddenly rushed forward and pushed him, flat hands on his chest, but he barely moved. Barely indicated he'd felt anything.

I knew my fiance would try to protect me, but that's what this stranger wanted. I could tell he wasn't going to do anything, just his presence would be enough, and then once the first blow had been thrown, he would react, claim self defense. He would rip my life from my hands. I didn't know this stranger, but I knew what he wanted.

I started slamming my fists into his chest as my fiance moved toward us. "Leave..us...alone!" I cried out, feeling tired, sluggish. The shock was coursing through my veins. My mind was starting to grow fuzzy. As my fiance stepped closer, the stranger suddenly reached out, moving like a well calculated animal, grabbing me, pulling me toward him, and then fleeing. He had to be taller than me, for my feet didn't drag, but his arm around my waist was hard and he ran like a gazelle through the woods. I was beating him, trying to kick him, but it was as if he wasn't phased. I looked at his face, the vein on his neck pulsing, and his eyes wild. He was breathing heavily and yet he ran at a dizzying pace. I heard my fiance screaming for me, running after us, and I realized I was screaming too. Screaming for help.

And then, somehow, he dropped me, ran into a small town, and threw me down in the bushes, and ran to an open vehicle, turned it on, flipped on the lights, and peeled out, heading away. I remember laying there, in the brush, panting and shaking. I thought the worst was over, he'd stopped. But then I realized why. He didn't want me. He never wanted me.

It was with a sickening and sinking feeling I watched my fiance run past me, his eyes wide, his body set to kill. He was running to save me, but he didn't see me, ran right past me, saw the stranger peeling away in a car, and stopped thinking; started doing. He ran up to a beat up old pickup, barely hanging together, and somehow the keys were in it, he got them, I don't know how, I was barely aware of where I was, yet alone what was happening, but I saw him leap into the cab and take off, the truck's engine whining loudly.

I ran into a store, bewildered, told them to call 9-1-1, didn't tell them why, didn't know what it would do. That there was a strange man that had grabbed me, had driven off. A woman inside, large and unhappy looking, began to grumble. The stranger had stolen her car, she suddenly realized, and began to complain how she hoped he didn't scratch it. I remember standing by the road, frantic, watching the pickup reach the top of the hill, start to careen beyond view.

And then a loud POP. It echoed through the trees, reached my ears, made my heart stop. I saw dust rise up, beyond my view, a few miles off, where the road snaked, and I began to pant heavily. My heart began to beat loudly in my ears. The woman in the store was crying and mumbling about how she just knew her car was dented. I turned around, to the few women in the little store, it looked like a little convenience store like you see in the mountains, and I whispered, "Did that sound like a gunshot?"

No one met my gaze and I turned to look, watched people looking as the dust continued to curl up from the forest. I didn't hear the whine of the old truck anymore. I heard a woman quietly whisper to another that it sounded like a tire. I began to shudder and I started trotting down the road, aware it was miles between myself and whatever lay ahead, knowing I could barely stand, let alone run, because I was so frightened; shock settling in.

Sirens blared as two sheriff's vehicles barreled down the road toward the 'scene'. I couldn't even fathom what was there. I couldn't bear to consider that it was even a 'scene'. I stood on the side of the road, breathing heavily, watching; waiting.

After what seemed hours, I saw a familar car coming down the rise. It was my fiance's car. I felt a flood of relief rush over my body. And then, as the car neared, fear began to trickle back into my veins and my hands and face began to tingle as I realized much too late that he hadn't been driving his car. That he'd taken that pickup. As it rolled up to me, I saw a woman in the front seat, a clipboard on her lap.

She opened the door as I ran over to it, tears beginning to fill in my eyes. There had to be an explanation. Maybe he was being held for questioning. Maybe the stranger had crashed. Maybe it was a gun. Maybe...maybe a thousand possibilities.

The woman looked up at me, dark hair, a white shirt on, but a large gun in the holster on her hip. She had a hardened face and her large fingers grasped a pen as she wrote on a clipboard. I was staring at her, and she looked up and said sternly, "Ma'am, it seems the tire pressure was too much, the thing popped, truck went off the road." I felt an icy cold horror begin to pierce my body. "The truck hit, cab came clear off...the cab's badly dented, we're trying to get to it, but we can't be sure if he survived."

The ice hit my heart and I began to hyperventilate as I slowly asked, "What?" I blinked, my hands shaking violently as time seemed to move without taking me with it. I wasn't aware of time or place or myself, just of the beat that was my startled heart. Then, as the seconds ticked by, devastation flooded my body and I screamed, "What?! WHAT?!" I began to feel like I was suffocating, grabbing my chest, a sob stuck in my throat, screaming in a shrill voice, "WHERE IS HE?!" I looked up to where the dust was beginning to clear and imagined him, the truck at the bottom of a ravine, the cab stuck, smashed, to the point of no return. I imagined him having a few seconds, bleeding to death, trying to get free as the life dripped out of him. I started to run, dragging my feet, my mind unable to comprehend what I would do if I weren't there and he died. If he had already died. What I would do if I lost him.




---


I woke up gasping, my heart thundering in my chest, tears welling in my eyes.



A dream.

I had this dream the night of 08/29/2010.

I remember I was at some sort of debate/speech competition. We were on a large, expansive campus. I had the feeling it was in the desert; there was little brush or vegetation around and the buildings were tan. I was one of the coaches in charge. M., my fiance, was there. I knew he was in the large cafeteria/dining hall with the students. The league president of the area suddenly drew a meeting. He had a large map up on a projection screen and the coaches crammed around it. He told us there had been a bomb threat. We all grumbled, as if this happened often. I remember asking if we should take it seriously. The league president, K., said that due to protocol, we had to. We all began arranging our things when the atmosphere changed. Someone had gotten a call or somehow we knew that this threat was not only real, but it had been received around the world. Our map now started sprouting new threats in the area, big yellow boundaries being drawn in the counties threatened.

I didn't have a phone, and I suddenly rushed to the cafeteria to find M. Students were streaming from the cafeteria, and I frantically searched for M. I couldn't find him and I was screaming for him, running around in the crowd. I could feel the fear in everyone around me and I finally spotted M in the distance. I started running, but I felt as if I were running in slow motion. I couldn't run fast enough. The skies started to turn dusty and the crowds thinned as people tried to get away.

In the distance, I saw my horse, Deacon. I whistled to him and he turned. I whistled desperately again and he turned and game galloping toward me. I was still trying to reach M. Deacon leapt over two fences and I was suddenly leaping onto his back. I felt the only way to get away was to ride away on him, because no one had vehicles and I knew we wouldn't survive this explosion.

I turned Deacon towards M and M swung on behind me. I then turned Deacon away from the buildings, toward the open desert, and we started off.

But then we were in the ocean. We were deep down, at the depths, and I remember we were enshrined by some sort of spider-like creature and we were caught in her web. She was talking to us. M was there and I remember being so relieved. He was some sort of worm and I was some sort of crab. I remember we talked to the small, red spider as she brought us down to the sea floor. It was tropical looking water. She was telling us we would be safe here, in the ocean, at the bottom, while the world rebuilt itself. That no one would survive the explosions, and that only we would survive. That we might be down here for a long time. That our bodies had been transformed so we could survive here in the ocean together. M and I swam around each other and were so happy that we were not apart. I remember feeling so happy.

I then remember 'waking' up in a train station. It was dusty outside. There was a train enginge outside a glass-walled building. People were sitting inside on the benches. I thought, "Oh no, my body is still up here!" As if part of our soul had been transferred down into the ocean, but my other half was up here. I remember screaming out for M , but he was nowhere. Conductors looked at me angrily for being loud. No one seemed concerned, but I knew we were being evacuated. But what I knew was this explosion would obliterate life on the surface of the planet. I then looked at the train engine and noticed a spark. It was like the spark from a gas line, sparking and trying to catch. I turned to run inside, but my feet moved so slowly. I screamed "HEY" and dove into the walls. The engine exploded.

Then, I was standing next to the engine, but I was inside. The scene was quiet. I was right back where I had woken up before, as is back in time. I turned and noticed the spark on the engine again. I became panicked and rushed to hide behind something, knowing I wouldn't be saved. The engine exploded. A great roar.

I was back in time, back in the station. I suddenly ran to people, pleading them to help me. I knew M was in the ocean, waiting for me, and that my mind and consciousness was up here, on the surface. I was sobbing and begging people to help me. I was crying and I remember asking anyone who listened to please help me, I needed to get back. I was so overcome with grief. I felt like my heart was exploding. As I was sobbing, sitting on the bench, I heard the ticking of the spark on the engine. My mood turned for the worse and I was completely engulfed in despair. I lowered my head and waiting for the explosion once more, knowing I would never rejoin the love of my life and that my body down there would soon be lifeless and I would leave M all alone, waiting for eternity, waiting to come back up and find my body.

I woke up and was still raptured with the pain and despair.