Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

Driving down the highway with my mom in the driver's seat, we're talking about things. You know, the usual update stuff that doesn't change much from week to week. My girlfriend comes up in the conversation at some point and my mom get's really jealous. I can tell she's really upset over something. She stops talking and just steps on the gas. Okay, so she's upset, that's fine I think as I watch the scenery whip by faster and faster.

I look over at her and she's practically in tears now as we pass 100 mph. I start to feel uncomfortable as she drives faster and faster. She and I are pretty well connected, and without saying a word, I just know that she's thinking, "If I can't have him, no one will" and that she's going to crash the car and kill us both. At this point we're going over 120 mph and I don't know what to do about this situation. I consider taking the wheel and spinning the car out of control to a stop, but since we're going so fast, that could be just as deadly as whatever she has planned. That's actually the only thing I think to do other than ride it out.

Maybe if I just sit here peacefully she'll have a change of heart before it's too late... I quietly hope as the situation gets super tense for me. I see a turn in the road with no guard rail, and a huge cliff over the edge. This must be where she's headed. That's okay though, we still have a few seconds for her to change her mind. No sooner do I think that than the car careens off the road and over the cliff. My stomach sinks, my hair stands on end, and I look out the window. Several hundred feet below I can hardly see the ground it's so far away. This is it, this is how my end finally comes I think as it dawns on me that there's no way out of this one.

Despite the distance, in a matter of seconds the car smashes into rocks below. The dash smashes my head and everything goes black after a brief white flash.

Gradually, some color starts to fade into my awareness and I find myself standing amidst massive crystals of every color, all arranged immaculately and beautifully. The most amazing sight I've ever seen! It all feels so peaceful as well.

I walk through the crystals as I sense some purpose for me. I don't know precisely what I am supposed to do, but I do know that I can't just stay put and kick off my shoes just yet. So I walk through a breathtaking crystal maze with glowing lights coming from just about every crystal. I don't know what I'm looking for, but I'm looking for something.

I reach a huge palace and dozens of really nice people greet me. They're all strangely familiar, yet I can't quite place how I know them. Also, they all seem so peaceful and happy, like everything is perfect, and they have no worries. They call out to me and we exchange small talk for a bit. It comes up that I can really do anything I want now. I think about this for a second and decide that the best thing I can do is show the example of someone attaining enlightenment, and refocus my mind on the spiritual path.

Everything starts to blur for a bit, and I reappear clearly firing a rocket at someone who is trying to steal a huge diamond from a bank. As I fire the rocket, I realize it's my mom! Somehow I manage to stop it from killing her and run over. She looks at me hesitantly, as I do the same to her. I don't know if I can let my guard down around her anymore after she just killed me. She apologizes for killing me and we talk about what happened after I died. She tells me that she survived the crash, but I didn't. It was deemed an accident, but she was really distraught over it for a long time. I tell her that it's okay, I forgive her. But it still might take me some time before I get in the car with her again.

She's okay with that.

In a crowded section of New York City, flames erupt from the sewers as Satan himself rises from hell and bursts through the pavement of the road ahead of me, sending cars flying through the air and people running and screaming in all directions. He has a gang of demons around him, all made of flames, forming a painful looking perimeter of death and destruction around the Devil.

I am holding a dark gray cat, almost black, with white on its face and some of its paws I don't remember picking it up, but it seems to like being held. I cradle it on its back like a baby in my left arm, against my side, and hold its tail out in front of me like a cannon. I aim it at the Devil and make my best "Pew Pew!" noises. Almost like a "pshhyeeeoo!!!" As I make my very best laser noises, bright blue laser beams shoot out of the cats tail. They move through the air at about the speed of a jogger, so Satan easily dodges them.

I run toward Satan, aiming the cat's tail a few paces ahead of him and with "Pew Pew Pew Pew!" shoot four slow moving lasers out of the cat's tail into Satan's path. I almost got him this time! With great enthusiasm I go wild with my best "Pew Pew!" noises, filling the streets and alleys with blue lasers. 'If I shoot lasers everywhere, I can't miss.' I tell myself.

Satan dives behind a sky scraper and out of sight. I pre-fire a few laser blasts from the cat's tail down the next street in case he tries to run for it, and then run down the alley to cut him off before he can get away. He gave me the slip somehow, and I haven't got a clue where to find him now. I find myself at a busy intersection, looking every which way as traffic flows through. Next to me is a fire fighter and a cop. They look at me, then at the cat I'm cradling in my arm, and then at how I'm holding the cat's tail out in front of me with my other hand, and then look back to me.
"Check this out" I tell them as I aim the cat's tail in a harmless direction and say "Pew Pew Pew!" sending three bright blue laser beams slowly through the air.
"That's pretty cool" they tell me.
"I know, right?!"
"Aren't you going to film it or take a picture or something?" The firefighter asks me.
"No, I don't think anyone really needs to know about this. Plus I've gotta get Satan"
They both give me an understanding nod, and I start walking away as I think about where to look.

I got home early, before everyone else got up, and rather than go up to my room, I decide to nap downstairs on the couch. The stairs are loud, and I don't want to wake the dog and have the dog wake everyone. It's just an hour and a half before everyone normally gets up, so I'll just nap on the couch until I hear someone, then I'll go to my room and go back to bed. That's my plan.

I find myself walking down a hallway, and come to an opening where I stand with a big group of people around a fountain or some other centerpiece. It occurs to me that I was just asleep on my couch, so I am definitely dreaming right now. Everyone looks at me. I look at everyone. The DCs look oddly familiar, but all just wait for me to do something. Rather than do anything, I just generate a loving feeling toward all of them. Then I make it stronger. I look at each DC again and feel a blissful tingling all through my body. It's like the more I love them, the stronger it gets. I enjoy this feeling for a while, then wake up.

Well that was nice, but I'm still tired, and it's still early, I think I'll close my eyes and rest until I hear someone again.

Now I'm standing up in my living room, and my sister (who is out of state) comes in, but 10 years younger than she is now. She's really upset at me for some reason. I'm not sure why. But I am sure that I was just laying down, and that she's older now, so I am definitely dreaming. I let her yell at me as I enjoy the relaxing peace of being in a dream where there is no reason to be offended, upset, or defensive about anything. I generate some love in my mind for my sister, and make it stronger and stronger until everything feels just amazing. She calms down, stops yelling, and I wake up again.

I hear someone in waking life this time, and get up to move to my hammock in my room. I wonder if my plan to get up and move when I heard someone was the main reason I had these lucid dreams, or if it was just due to the easy circumstances within the dreams themselves such as remembering I was just laying on the couch and now I'm not, or that my sister is in fact older than a toddler now. Maybe the plan to wake up at the first sign of noise put me in a lighter state of sleep that is more conducive for lucid dreams. I don't know.

I'm scaling a steep cliff on the side of a mountain fortress with a large group of medieval soldiers seeking to take over the castle up ahead. It is a difficult climb, and all progress is halted as the defenders unleash a massive deluge of boiling hot oil that spashes down the cliff. Fortunately, it's steep enough that we just press ourselves flat into the rock, and the oil flows just over us all, missing us by just a few feet. Then some sort of god flies out of the castle and levitates above the stone walls as he laughs at us. He thinks it is barely worth his concern, but nevertheless throws a few fire balls at us. Several people are killed instantly.

He looks over at me, and now seems threatened somewhat. With a spin, he disappears from sight, and I am immediately teleported to a small town inside the castle walls. Somehow we breached the castle and there is utter chaos as people are running everywhere. It turns out everyone is running because there is an army of Djinns (the kind from the show 'Supernatural') - a kind of genie that puts people to sleep, fulfilling all their wishes in their dreams while draining their blood and killing them in the process. Just one is scary, but there are over a hundred here.

I am immediately surrounded by about a dozen of them. I'm not quite sure what to do about this. Before I come up with a plan, one of the female Djinns (and quite an attractive one I may add) tells the others to step aside and watch. She holds out her hand and uses telekinesis to spin my body around. I want to fight it, but just go limp as all my muscles relax. She softly lays my body on the packed dirt ground and closes my eyes all with telekinesis. This is the part where the nice dream is supposed to start. I'm given a moment to choose, but can't decide what to dream about.

The moment is gone, and there will be no pleasant dreams for me apparently. Since the Djinns are psychic, they know that I'm awake in my body, even though my eyes are closed and I cannot move it. I can still feel everything. They take delight in knowing that I'll be able to feel all the pain of being slowly drained of blood until I die, with nothing I can do about it. I feel a sharp stabbing pain as a large gauge needle is roughly stabbed into my arm.

Rather than languish in pain as I am slowly killed, I imagine that I'm someone else. Someone very alive, and experiencing blissfully pleasant feelings. I know it's not real, but I decide to believe it anyway because the more I do, the more real it becomes, and the more this excruciating painful death seems like a distant memory than a current reality.

Right before I fully switch to being someone else, I wake up.

A girl and I are in a large tower with a spiral staircase winding up untold heights through the stone walls. It becomes apparent that there is an evil spirit chasing us. We run up the stairs for a while, then duck into a room. I run back out to distract from the girl and run up the stairs some more. But the girl doesn't hide like I thought she would. Instead, she decides to sit on a table and just face the door, waiting for the spirit to get her, as if by seeing it, things will be okay. I get a feeling of doom as I see the creepy spirit woman rush through the door and tackle the girl. My heart sinks in my chest. But there are more harmful things nearby, and nothing else I can do for her, so I try to stay hidden to fight another day.

(This was a lot cooler when I first woke up, but I went back to bed for 3 hours, then went to work, so some of the details have eluded me at the moment.)

Snowboarding down a huge mountain, I find a lot of snowboarder / skier traffic, and can't go where I want to very easily. I bomb it down a hill, and turn to my right to go over a small hill to another part of the mountain, but while avoiding the other people, I lose too much speed. I have to dance side to side and walk the board up the rest of the way. Then it's fairly clear, not many people, and I hit a few jumps sticking out of the deep powder. I slow down in one turn, and find out that the powder is up to my neck! I lean into the mountain, and pick up some more speed to stay on top of the powder, and make some easy turns the rest of the run down the mountain. It's so peaceful and beautiful here.

I'm laying in bed next to my girlfriend, just relaxing in the time before I fall asleep. She's already asleep, so I try not to move much and wake her up. Then her pet lion jumps up in bed with us! It's huge, but not very ferocious. But it does step on my solar plexus with a single paw and it's really heavy. I squirm a little, and it steps somewhere else, then lays down next to me. It's still pretty comfortable here, so I close my eyes and let sleep take its sweet time.

Then as I think I fall asleep, I wake up! No lion.

I would really benefit from more RCs...

My girlfriend turns into an evil demon creature and true to utterly destroy me in every way. She glares at me menacingly with a scary look in her eyes and dares me to do something about it. I tell her that I'm still going to look at the good in her and ignore the bad - and in that way gradually transform the effects she has on me. She develops large fangs, her eyes go black and she lunges at me to bite my face off, but I feel love for everyone, her especially, and just before she bites my face off, she is transformed into a beautify girl again and kisses me. I was expecting to die or be maimed, but this is definitely one of the best outcomes.

Now the two of us are waiting for some demonic, hellish creatures to clear out of the upstairs room. It seems like the more still I am, the more things seem to work out favorably. My girlfriend seems to be affected in some way by these creatures, and we can't just go up there and chase them out.

We lay back down in my hammock as we wait.

I wake up in my hammock and it all seemed SO real. Especially since she was next to me. Kind of eerily creepy how real I seemed. Maybe it was, who knows?

I'm eating a nice meal with my spiritual guide and a couple other people at our table. We're content, and enjoying what is before us when suddenly we look over and see the Dalai Lama at the very next table with some of the high ranking Tibetan leadership around him. The Dalai Lama makes a scary face at me, and then they take our picture with me looking all scared. I'm a little embarrassed, and regain my composure. But they didn't want a nice picture. The Dalai Lama laughs and turns back to his table. For some reason, I don't think he likes me. My spiritual guide looks at me and I know that it doesn't matter if anyone likes me or not, no matter who they are.

After messing around with magnets, and having a mixed drink, I'm driving down the street with my step brother. There's no one on the road, and we're cruising along at around 40 mph. We both spot something coming right at us up ahead in the road. It's moving fast. I slow down in case it hits us. Bigger than our car, it is a massive wolf. The head of which is a good 5 ft long, and really really big. He bares his fangs at us, and turns his head as he runs past us along the road in the opposite lane.

Feeling very vulnerable, even in the car, the road gets too snowy to drive on, so I have to get out and walk if I want to make it home. It also gets really steep. Apparently, I'm crossing the continental divide over the Rocky Mountains to get to some town in Colorado. But man is this steep, and with snow up to my chest, it's really hard to push through it. I see a few more of these beastly wolves all around me, just off the side of the road, watching me slowly make my way up the road. I get the feeling that they are guiding me, and probably won't eat me. Just probably though, so I keep my eyes on them. Luckily, I have a towel with me, so I use it to lay on, pushing the snow down to make it easier to wade through.

Since this might take me a while, I put on my hat and mittens that were in my pockets this whole time. The wolves watch me to do. I nearly lose sight of the road with so much snow, but see a massive wolf laying down in the snow ahead of me, so I walk toward it. Or to my death, but it's not like I can out run them anyway. To my left I see a few snow mobiles and four wheelers abandoned in the snow, just lightly dusted with fresh snowfall, but still with the keys in the ignition. Several of them are still running.

I think about stealing one, but decide against it. I bet whoever owns them would be pissed to come back and find it gone. So I walk past them. The road disappears, and I am looking over a 300 ft cliff. But in actuality, I'm just standing on some snow that is packed into the branches of a huge tree with snowmobiles stuck in it. Before I get the chance to even think about how this situation might have happened, unusual as it is, I feel the snow start to give way. I run toward the tree and grab onto the trunk as the snow and machines fall to the ground far below. I hear the tree start to crack apart too, so I grab a falling branch and swing down on it to the midway point of the tree. I feel incredibly lucky to have survived that, and now bear hug the trunk to slow my decent as I slide straight down the icy tree.

Landing hard in the snow, the tree starts to tip over toward me. WTF! I run super fast and dodge it while also noticing some people on the opposite side. I decide to see if they need any help, but I'm going really fast the opposite direction, so I drag my feet stopping like a hockey player, just with a 40 ft slide. Just in time though. As I stop, I notice a fence around the whole area where the tree fell, on the outside of which are a lot of those massive wolves. Just a whole lot more menacing and vicious looking than before. Growling, barking, and drooling, they give me the deathliest stares I've ever gotten from an animal. I bet if I had crossed that fence I would've been killed. Luckily there is a small town here that has some sort of magical wolf boundary or truce. Seems like a small town from Alaska.

There are spiders using telekinesis type powers to propel themselves rapidly around my house, stringing strong webs as they go. I chase after them, trying to clean the webs away and close doors to keep the spiders out of the other rooms in the house. One spider in particular is really loud, and is yelling to the other spiders. He's giving a sales pitch, talking about how he has found some high quality katana swords in several colors, he has blue, candy red, and black right now, starting at $1800. They sound cool, but I don't trust the spider.

I turn a corner and find myself in a coffee shop, cornered by a salesman and woman, trying to sell me their book that tells how to make thousands of dollars a day from home. I know that crap is all a scam, so I get up to leave, but am blocked in by several tables and chairs, stuck in the corner. I squeeze by, and the salesman makes an offer for me. If I buy the book for $45, he guarantees I'll get $500 today, and if not, I can return the book for a full refund. In the stupor of the dreamworld, I accept his crazy offer and pay him the $45.

I wake up briefly and notice that infomercials are on TV, so I turn the TV off and go back to sleep.

I have a job where I have to cut the tails off of lobsters to sell them to people... I am shown how to do it, but really don't want to do that to any lobster. It looks too painful. I look back at the lobsters and see through the normal reality of things. I see a female lobster as in actuality a fairy riding a red dragon through the ocean. Then a male fairy, also riding a red sea dragon comes over and gives her a dandelion puff flower. They pass it between themselves using a dried cone flower, and swim off into the sunset. The guy jokingly launches a jet of water at her, pretending to try and soak the dandelion, but always misses.

I am flying a jet pack! Zooming through the air for at least 2 solid hours, I fly from southern VT to my mom's house. I run out of fuel in her front yard. The jet pack uses the final bit of fuel in one quick burst, sending me 30 ft up in the air then dropping me like a rock. I hit the ground hard, then walk inside and refuel the jet pack. I use the jet pack to hover over a chair, a sofa, a desk, and a bed that are in my way in a hallway. I get to a room and see a young girl looking into the window. I go up to the window and yell loudly, startling her. "Did I scare you?" I ask through the glass. "Yes" she nods. I feel bad for scaring her.

I crawl out of the room through a small chamber with cinder block / concrete walls and a dirt floor. It's way too small for comfort, and there are other people ahead of me. I'm not the first to have to go through this, so I follow the others. The room gets smaller, so I have to crawl on my back and pull myself along grabbing the ceiling. There's no going back now. At the exit, a beautiful woman is giving her milk to everyone. Kind of unusual, but it seems to be the only way out of this room, and it isn't optional. I crawl toward her on my back to get out. She shakes her boobs at me, gives me a hj, and lets me go. Very unexpected!

I'm trapped inside a long building with a tornado approaching. I'm safe in here, but I learn that there is a group of people outside. They're trapped out there, and in great danger. So I draw a picture that turns into reality - covering all the ground in foam. They are imposed on the picture, but the ink for their eyes bleeds because it is fresh. I add a vicious zeebra/dog just for fun. Then I flood the world with invisible water, and drop the water level down to my chest. I can breathe underwater, but just in case others can't, I drop the water level again to below the entrance to the safe building.

With my friend's car, I drive around town. He needs it back soon, so I get on a motorcycle and start going really fast. It's awesome. I'm mostly looking for a pawn shop so I can get a guitar for cheap, but don't see any. I end up riding the whole night and as the sun comes up, I find my mom at the University welcome center. She's trying to get me to live on campus a year before I start taking classes. I explain that housing is way cheaper off campus, and ride up the hill through lots of tents as she follows me. Apparently there is a big cult that has set up camp at the university, and they're kind of threatening. All dressed in the Sam white clothing, and full of pride, they all stare at me blankly as I ride along their camp. I pass them quickly but reach a dead end. Not for me. I dive and slide under a barbed wire fence to freedom! I see a road in the distance and make my way back to the relative safety of society.

Riding that dirt bike really stood out as a main part. Throwing it around, taking really sharp turns, power sliding all over, just an amazingly fun time.