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    Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

    Medieval Army vs Nuclear Weapons

    by , 07-31-2014 at 02:10 PM (541 Views)
    Waiting in line to be assigned a weapon as I am drafted into a medieval war. I am given a stick with a big spiked ball on top of it. Down the line, they give me a leather cape, and that's it. "What am I, cannon fodder?" I think as I realize how vulnerable I am like this. Not nearly strong enough to wield the mace, even running through bushes would scratch up my skin...

    I walk off, and wander around some grassy hills with a few sparse trees. I see one of my friends with her boyfriend both sitting under a tree and having a good time. I say "Hi" as I pass by, letting them enjoy themselves without interrupting too much.

    I follow a road that goes up a hill, along a small cliff right across from another half hill, half cliff area. There is a guy shooting mortar rounds at me. But I can see the angle of his mortar pod, so it's really easy to dodge. He just rotates as he changes his aim, but doesn't actually move. I have an energy cannon type thing that also shoots like a mortar, but needs to be charged with each shot depending on how far I want it to go. I time my shots to be in between his, and get closer and closer as I fine tune the charging and my aim as I dodge and shoot from different spots along the cliff. He almost gets me a few times, but it is really easy to dodge. Finally, I get a hit on him, but it hardly hurts him at all. He laughs at me, completely unconcerned. But the joke is on him, I can do this all day.

    Then, a nuclear missile lands just to my right. The sky flashes white, and the blast wave knocks me down to the ground. Then everything starts to burn. Must be the radiation. I see a glowing orange smoke slowly spread toward me. Some of it touches my legs and holy crap does it burn! I run to get out of it, and can barely stay ahead of it as it spreads. Down the hill, the smoke does not follow me. Spared just by a thread from dying in that explosion, I am now so weak and injured that I am pretty much useless. I look around for some place to sleep this off. Walking away from the action toward some sort of building that is up a hill, I think that'll work just fine. Spontaneously, someone performs a type of magical healing ritual on me, and I feel back to full health again! I swing my mace around, and it feels easy and comfortable to do so. Now, what to do about this nuclear explosion?

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