nightmare

On my way to work, I make a stop to pick up my bicycle. I forgot my shoes, but that's okay. My friend Andrew and I, instead of getting shoes, turn our lower bodies into different things... Bulls, dogs, dresses, motorcycles, etc. Every other thing we change our legs into is neon green, the other being regular color. We both settle on dogs for legs to pick up chicks.

Walking around town, it certainly gets girls' attention. They want to pet them. My dog is on a leash, a medium poodle variety. Now with regular legs and a dog, the dog pulls hard on the leash, very strong, and very excited to see people. One of the girls offers to hold the leash, but I don't think she's strong enough to do it. I walk off on my own, holding a sign instead of a leash, following another guy who is also holding a sign. "This is silly" I tell myself as I stop following him, and go inside a nearby building. Inside, I offend an old friend from High School, who starts to escort me outside to severely beat me up. I realize what he's going to do, and run back inside to lose him.

Normally, I would easily outrun him, he's a lot bigger than I am, but I'm slower than usual, and he tails me quite well up several stories of this building. He yells at me, "You're scaring the occupants by running so fast!" in an attempt to catch me. I reach the top floor, and go back down another stairway. To pick up speed, I slide down the banisters, and jump several steps at a time. He too jumps some steps, but my banister sliding moves put some distance between us. Bolting outside, I duck into a crowd and continue to run. I pass by some good friends from school who yell something at me, but I don't stop. I lay down on the slope of a hill, looking back at where I ran from. No sign of Justin, I must have lost him. There is a fugitive next to me, also hiding here. I idly play with a plastic bag as I nervously wait for something to happen. The fugitive loudly proclaims, "That's my bag!"

The police overhear us, and send the Irish government our way. They stop at the top of the hill and throw propaganda at us. One of the packets they throw looks decent, good graphics and all.

My attention is immediately caught by the oven timer making its usual obnoxious beeping sounds. It is an older oven model, with analogue clocks on it, and gas burners. Mostly black, with white and brown accents. I go over to it to see what is done, but there is only a single pot of soup on the stove, and it is not yet done. I look to see how to turn the beeping off, but see no off switch. Each oven burner has a mechanical timer dial, so I check each one individually to make sure they are in the off position, and they all are. Strange.... I look again to the main control panel on the far side of the oven, the part that sticks up a few inches from the back, but all the dials there are in the off position as well.

My meditation teacher is nearby and tells me that "someone was making french toast, and left without turning the timer off." Alright, "then there must be a way to stop it" I think as I decide to turn the whole stove off using the unit's off switch on the top left. Before I turn it off, I check again to see which burners are on, and at what level they are set to, so I can put them back as they are when I turn it back on. It is just the soup burner, set to medium heat. Easy enough, *flick* the switch goes off, the burner stops, but the beeping continues!

I really don't like the beeping, and thought for sure this would end it. It is still definitely coming from the stove somehow. I turn it back on, and my friend Tim turns the gas on high for the soup, then does nothing else. I turn the dial to the ignition position as I look away to shield my face from any possible explosions, and with a large poof, all the gas ignites. We laugh at the explosion, as I turn the flames down to medium level.

Looking away, I see a group of janitors far outside through an open door, all standing in a circle, stretching in the grass before they go to work. "I need to stretch" they remind me. I start stretching my groin, and glutes, but it really isn't very nice to do with that awful beeping penetrating my ear awareness. "I'll just unplug the stove, that should stop it."

Getting up from the kitchen floor, I look behind the stove to see where it is plugged in, it is not the plug next to the stove unfortunately, but directly behind it, rather low on the wall. "I'll have to move the stove out to do this" Positioning myself to get a good grip on the stove, I wake up.

Now laying in my bed, I still hear that loud, high pitch beeping sound! How is that possible?

IT IS MY **** CELL PHONE ALARM! (exactly the same beeping)

So I am tied to a giant clock, with my head right where the pendulum swings. Chucky laughs at me as he gets everything in place. Then the pendulum (with spikes on it) swings into my head, knocking it over to the other side, where it hits yet more spikes. After a few rounds of this, I bite on to an edge of the clock, to hold myself out of the way, and manage to get a pry bar from somewhere and attempt to dismantle the clock. Chucky gets in my face now, and reminds me of how he had to remove each one of my ribs with that very pry bar, and he'll do it again if I don't stop. A vivid, painful memory of just that happening flashes in my mind, but I go for the escape anyway.

I jump into a series of rooms, and shut Chucky into one of them, as I run to the next one. Soon, I realize the rooms are connected with a shared bathroom, so I shut the bathroom door on Chucky's side. But there is a hole on the bottom of it, just big enough for him to crawl through, so I shut the other door, but the same sort of hole is there too! Chucky slowly crawls through toward me, laughing an evil laugh as he does so, and talking about how painful it is going to be when he kills me. As he starts to emerge into the room I am hiding in, I bite him in the face! This seems to have hurt him, so I bite him again, taking a big chunk off his head. Since he's having a hard time getting through the hole quickly, I take a few more bites at him until he is sort of dazed by this.

Grabbing Chucky, I crumple him into a ball, and run out of the house, and up the street where there is an outdoor cafe. An older woman looks at me, as if she knows exactly what's going on. She offers me some gravy sauce and biscuits. I sit down at the table next to hers, cover Chucky with gravy sauce, and eat him with biscuits. She gives me another biscuit before she leaves. As I finish off Chucky, I wish there was a more pleasant way to do this than to eat him. Biting into his stomach, I expect a bunch of gross juices to be in there, but it's just hollow, like a doll. Not that gross after all, but really tough to chew. The gravy and biscuits make it easier to swallow.