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    Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

    Victory over Fear - Congratulated by Satan

    by , 05-18-2014 at 08:25 AM (356 Views)
    Walking home, I must cross a big river to get to the other side. Normally I would just jump across the narrow part here, which although narrow for the river, is about as far as I can jump. Today however, the river is 4 times wider, and raging like it's alive and angry. I recall there is a bridge up-stream, and take a short cut off the trail to cut a big corner out of the path. I slide down a steep hill, and continue toward the bridge.

    Panicking, I see that the river has jumped its banks, and this short cut is not impossible. It leads directly to a dead-end cliff-like hill about 40 feet high, very close to the river, and where I just came from is also too steep to return. I have to jump out of the way of a few rogue waves that leap out from the others. There are some massive waves in this river, each one nearly knocks me into it.

    There is some really long, thick grass growing up the side of this steep hill (basically an 85 degree angle with flat ground). I grab fist fulls of the grass, and begin my near vertical assent back to the road up above. It's really easy with all this grass! As I near the crest, there is no more grass, and the ground is very loose. Large chunks of earth fall out from beneath me. I scramble to regain my grip and my footing, but each spot I hold onto quickly crumbles away, digging the cliff summit out to be even steeper.

    I am soo close to the top, I can put my hand on there, but only to pull the earth loose. I see a woman walking by, and greet her to avoid surprising her by being so close to the path, and right at foot level where she wouldn't see me until super close. She looks at me with a disgusted look that says, 'This guy is a typical risk taker' and says "Rock climbers...." with a big sign as she walks off quickly.

    Disappointed that she didn't help me, nor grasp the seriousness of the situation I'm in, I continue to struggle not to fall. Looking back briefly, I see that if I fall, I will land directly into the river that has now changed course to be right below me. I also recall how never in my life have I been able to climb over a steep crest - the rock wall at summer camp, the 2 mile high cliff in my back yard, the ridge on top of the mountain - in every case, I failed to make it. It's just impossible for me.

    Deciding to give it everything I've got, I try to summit to my left, but literally pull every possible hand hold loose so there is nothing more to grab onto. I try the right, and lose my grip as I rip away fist fulls of loose dirt and fall backwards. Managing to wedge my toes into a crack, I use my shin muscles to pull myself 30 degrees back to the cliff. Phew, close call! Now making sure I have good foot placement, I try to summit to the right again. Everything is pulling loose! I reach the very end of the line, nothing left to try, except a smooth, vertical rock to my right. No way to get a good grip on it at all. I split my force evenly between all fours, hands and feet, none of which are in a safe, secure spot in case I slip. Dangerously vulnerable, I continuously have to shift each hold, and scramble. I imagine making it successfully, and gently, but continuously shift my placement as I make slow progress. My head passes above the crest, but it is still steep!

    I push and pull, feeling really off balance, and get my torso above the crest. To my amazement, I reach the top. "Sure footing here!"

    No sooner do I reach the top, than I have a vision of Satan himself telling me in a deep demonic voice, "Congratulations, this is the first time you ever passed this test". Unsure why Satan is congratulating me, I am happy to have made it this time. A true victory over my fears.

    I continue down the path, cross the bridge, and end up at my friend's mom's house. I'm get along better with her mom, so I'm not disappointed when just her mom is home. I find her testing her new home security system. She demos it for me. There is a massive vault door, with a huge lock on it. She tells me "if someone breeches the door, this is what happens..." and pushes a button on a remote. A siren plays loudly, blue and white lights flash, and inside the safe room, sitting at a desk, looking at a laptop screen, facing toward us, is a goat. Judging by the sounds coming from the laptop (goat noises), the goat is watching goat on goat porn. The goat has an intense focused look on his face as he stares into the screen, lightly illuminated by the video. I find it hilarious.

    We walk into the kitchen for dinner. She offers me food and starts to eat. I already have a full plate. "I'll start with the water" I tell her, being polite, and wanting to wait until her daughter returns so we can eat together. I also want to tell her about my successful summit of the cliff, but want to wait so I can tell them both at the same time.

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    Tags: fear, goats, satan, water
    Categories
    non-lucid , memorable

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