false awakening

I had a very bizarre dream that I'm compelled to document. It wasn't quite lucid, but...well, read on.

Early as I can remember, I was in heaven in what looked like a cross between a mall and a cathedral. It was very crowded. By chance I found the man who had murdered me in heaven also. I declared that I was going to kill him (smite his soul or whatever) and that the Angel of Vengeance was on my side. After this short monologue I was about to attack the guy, but before I could do anything he stabbed me, killing me. After a short delay I was reborn as an angel of vengeance, called a One (Something--I can't quite recall what, it wasn't "Winged", I think it started with an M) Angel, and not just one--it seems as I had spawned as a squad of armed angels. It seems that this rebirth had taken some time, since after returning the man had been long gone. I searched heaven looking for the man but could not find him. Instead I returned to Earth and, running out of patience, I began to kill anyone who looked like the guy (from the start of the fight to here, the dream passed as some sort of weird top-down camera strategy RPG). It seems that to end my rampage I was returned to Earth with no memory except the name "One (Whatever) Angel". The dream then seemed to follow me on a search to find out what this name meant. I began by asking clergy or people who seemed religious; they all either straight-faced denied that they exist or looked at me in shock and horror and told me to get away from them. As my search went on with no answers I began just asking random strangers (my search took me to a drink stand just as it was closing in what was some in-dream deja vu, as I'd recognized this even from a deep early part of the dream that I don't now remember). Early on in my search I'd come across a girl who had overheard me asking questions at some point and had taken an interest in me. She eventually explained to me that she could help me remember everything through a process that involved dreams (vaguely Inception-style); I seemed to have a vague understanding of this process already and was firmly against it for a while. As time went on and my search for answers grew more desperate I eventually agreed to try it. It was to take place in what looked like some sort of park. As I entered, I came in behind an old, black lady accompanied by a young child. I recognized the old lady as someone I had previously asked about the angel who was disturbed by my question. The child stopped ahead of her and turned around, he asked, "Are you sure you want to do this? It could be the last time..." to which the old lady responded with something about helping these troubled young folk. I followed them to where the girl was waiting for us (I'm going to give her the name Ashley, it seems to fit my memory). In addition to the old, black woman (let's call her Oracle, since she looked like the latter version from the Matrix), Jon Voight was (apparently) helping us. They explained that Ashley would have to sit/lay on top of me in order to merge our dreams and gave me a large bag to put over my butt since apparently the process had several unpleasant side effects (supposedly most people shat themselves upon coming out of it). I sat down on a bench and they gave me some sort of injection and then immediately I was in the back (left) seat of a car, with Ashley sitting to my left, the others in the front (Jon Voight driving). I explained to them that I was once an oneironaught myself and briefly described my first lucid dream. As if to reply and boast of his own lucid dreaming skill, Jon Voight turned his head into an inflated version of Ashley's head. We all laughed, but I noticed that the situation was rather strange so I did a reality check that failed. I quickly exclaimed, "Holy shit, we're dreaming already! That's amazing." Then I looked over at Ashley, who was looking at me also, however she appeared out of it or drunk. I noted here that despite the reality check failing I didn't seem to be able to exert any lucid control; at the time I attributed this to the process occurring in the overarching dream storyline but now that I think about it after the fact it seemed kind of weird. At this point I had a very brief false awakening (I only remember because I awoke to a lit room before actually awakening) which was followed quickly by an actual awakening.

I'm not going to count this among my lucid dreams being as it fit into the context of the dream that my reality check would fail (maybe this also explains my apparent lack of dream control). It was a curious experience. I'm a little disappointed I didn't get to see the end to my search for answers.

This was an unusual one: my wife and I decided to go to IHOP for breakfast. When we got there, we noticed there were only a few cars in the parking lot, so when we got inside and found several dozen old people seated and eating we were surprised. Also, there were apparently no waiters or any other staff. More people slowly collected at the front of the restaurant. I watched Barry arrive on a bike, only it wasn't quite Barry; he was shorter and a bit thinner but had a chubbier face. Just as I was getting annoyed enough to leave, Laura and I were suddenly on a city bus with the old people. Angry and confused, I asked my wife why we were taking the bus home when we drove there in our car. I pulled the string to signal for a stop, but a man standing at the front said, "Sorry, we only stop at the nursing home." The bus then did this sudden turn to run up on the sidewalk, where it narrowly passed by another bus parked at the curb. I realized that this was clearly a dream since normal buses don't do that, however I didn't go lucid, I had a false awakening upon which I described this dream I just had to my dad.

This dream may or may not have been longer, but here are the parts that I can remember.

I was living with my family again at our old house on Broadway, only there was also this other guy living with us who kind of looked like Gabriel Iglesias only shorter and not quite as fluffy. Anyways, I was in what must have been my brother's room (because A) it was really heavily cluttered and B) there was a scene coming up where I was in my room, which was different) and my brother was there too when Gabriel Iglesias guy came in and demanded something. We were both blew him off so he took out an uzi and sprayed the room; he didn't hit me at all but it killed my brother. Shortly, it cut to a courtroom where I was watching the verdict in the murder trial; GI guy was somehow found not guilty. So I wake up in my bed some morning after but I'm all depressed so I just lay there for a while. When I finally got up, I found my dad and GI guy in the kitchen packing up my brother's stuff. I asked if I could look through it for anything I could use (there was kind of a neat looking fan, and a lot of our old Nintendo hardware). As I started looking through his stuff, I said, "I know we didn't get along, but now that he's gone I kind of miss him." Then I broke down in tears.

Now here's the kind of weird part: I sensed something was weird, I guess probably from the emotional breakdown so I thought, "AM I DREAMING? REALITY CHECK!" But instead of doing a proper reality check I ended up just waking myself up.

Oops.

There was a little bit of dream bleeding with this one too. I woke up into reality trying to figure out how I could sneak some concentrated potassium chloride into GI guy's bloodstream.

So it seems the new mantra has a bit of a gaping flaw, and I suspect I know why. Namely that I haven't associated it with an actual reality check. I'll maybe fix this in the future, but for now this'll go on the back burner.

Had another lucid-for-a-few-moments-but-lost-it episode.

It started with a longer sequence for which I only remember some. I was with a few people whom I suspect were my parents (at least one of them was my dad) and we were in a car going to what was some kind of mall/fast food restaurant combination--it had a drive through window. We ordered and picked up...something, but we forgot to order something we needed so I got out to go into the store and get it while they circled back around to pick me up. When I came out, as I got into the car my dad asked, "Do you know what 'los loco lobos' means?" to which I replied, "The crazy dog."

Cut to me sitting in a theater watching some romance movie. It featured an Asian couple from New York City. The only part of the movie I can remember was a segment where the girl went into this long-winded monologue about how her boyfriend was so awesome because he had all these manly, rugged qualities because he was such a "Minnesota man", which I recall thinking was outrageously stupid because they were both from New York City.

Cut once more to me in bed; I would wake up, my wife would tell me something, and then I'd go back to sleep. This would happen over and over. At some point she woke me up and started reciting sappy lines from the romantic movie from before, and when she did so I thought, "Oh god, I'm in a nightmare now!" semi-jokingly, then did a nose pinch reality check which failed. Had a quick "Yeah!" moment, then got up quickly (thus far I'd been thinking my last lucid slipped away because I stayed laying down) to get to work. My wife was now babbling incoherently, trying to get my attention so I waved her away since I was planning to clear out my apartment as a start to environmental control practice. I started to head to the front door of my apartment to turn on the light (since it was still dark in the room), but the dream dissolved to awakening. Reality check passed; lost it again quickly unfortunately.

It's nice that I'm still getting lucids and that they seem to be occurring with a little more frequency, but I need to find some way to stabilize them.

I'm evidently back in high school again, trying out for the annual play. It's some Sherlock Holmes play directed by Mr. Lucas, much to my surprise I end up with the lead role (I should note now after the fact that the fact I knew it was directed by Lucas should have been a red flag, he would never put me in a decent role). It's early in the week but I seem to think that the play will debut that Thursday so we're already in dress rehearsal and somehow I already know most of my lines (or am completely improvising them). My costume, heavily unfinished, is mostly large pieces of wool cloth held together by pins. As we get to the end of the dress rehearsal I line up at the end for the curtain call, but they wave me up to the front since I'm the lead. I apologize making my way up through the tight space--I'm not used to not playing insignificant shit roles. After my exit (I note a curious lack of Watson hereabouts), I hopped off the stage and left, eager to tell my dad about Fargo North High School's production of Sherlock Holmes.

It seemed to cut to what was either me in bed at home; I suspect I may have gone there from the school in the previous dream but it feels more likely that it was a false awakening because I recognized that something wasn't right (I awoke in a strange room that was clearly not mine) and did a reality check. I was lucid for a moment, I closed my eyes and kept my nose pinched to try to collect focus but it dissolved back to my bed in real life--my hands had clearly dissolved back to my real hands which were nowhere near my nose and additional reality check confirmed it. I guess I'll add it to my lucid tally, but it was disappointingly short.