dream fragment

I'm dreaming a lot lately but I'm not writing them down so much. Today just some fragments:

a wedding

Melissa from elementary school

I had some wine this evening so my sleep and recall were below average.

fragment
All I remember is that I was in a gym and I think I was about to leave but then I saw that they had a pec deck and I wanted to use it (because my gym in waking life doesn't).

I woke up from several dreams last night but only recall a fragment:

An old friend from high school, EW, is getting married. She asks me to be a bridesmaid.

I got a lot of sleep and had many dreams this night. I didn't write them down so here's my best attempt at recall.

fragment
There was a dream here before the lucids. No detail other than I remember waking up from it and then into the lucids.

Black and White Lucid
Method DILD (?)
Lucidity C
Vividness C
Control C
I don't remember much about this one. I mostly remember that my vision was black and white and this was disappointing. I remember trying to look at my hands but I couldn't move them. When I woke up, I was determined to have another lucid of higher quality.

Questions Answered in Lucid
Method DILD (spontaneous)
Lucidity B
Vividness B
Control C
I don't recall how I became lucid. I am in a luxurious house. I am looking through a sliding glass door to the pool area. In and around the pool, a bunch of attractive people, mostly blonde chicks in bikinis. I look at my hands for stability. My body is a bit stiff and I have some awareness of my paralyzed physical body. I try to let go of that and just focus on being in the dreaming. I notice that the dream is in full color and that it fills me whole field of vision like an IMAX movie. This makes me more confident. I phase through the glass door and enter the pool area.

I think a few other things happen at this point. I don't recall. I feel like I fly away from the scene to find something and then came back. When I come back, there are four people left at the pool, all blondes in white bikinis. I walk back into the house and they follow me. Inside is the living room with windows facing front and back and the sliding glass door to the pool to the side. There are a few couches around a coffee table. I stand in the middle of the room and the chicks arrange themselves on the couches or standing next to me.

I recall the talk by Robert Waggoner from the DV video post and recall his advice to ask the DC to explain the symbols. So I look at one of the girls and ask "could you explain the symbolism here?" She replies willingly, not rude but as if it's obvious. She looks at the front windows, which are covered with drapes and says "you have a tentative father". Then she directs her attention to the back windows, also covered with drapes, "... and a tentative mother." Then she looks at the couches which have plush stuffed cushions and pillows. She says "The couch cushions show your attraction to large breasts". I think she said a few other things that I don't remember. Even though what she said was a bit nonsensical, it was and interesting interaction with a DC.

Then I have an orgy with the four girls. Not much to say about that.

fragment
I think this dream was about Brian? No recall besides that.

Gas Station
I am at a gas station with my friend B. My car is having problems and I am trying to fix it. I have the hood up. Also, I seem to have a convertible and the top is down. I put the gas nozzle into several holes in the car, hoping that adding gas somewhere will somehow solve the problem. When I squeeze the nozzle, liquid sprays from another part of the car. I eventually realized that this means the car is full and adding more just causes overflow. B suggests that I start the car so I can see if the gas gauge shows it's full. I am a bit afraid that it will cause an explosion because of all the gas that has spilled. I start the car and it shows the gas is full.

Grrr. I know I had three dreams and I tried WILD in the last cycle. I know the dreams were unpleasant. Been having more bad dreams lately. Oh well, tonight is another opportunity.

Still not writing in my paper journal so my non-lucid recall is poor. Bad Sisyphus, bad.

fragment
Only remember that it was unpleasant.

fragment
Also something stressful and unpleasant.

New Office
IWL, I'm changing jobs very soon. That explains the content of this dream. I enter an office. It's small, just big enough for 3x3 grid of cubicles. On one side there is a desk for the receptionist and another desk with a computer labeled "Visitor". Overall, it feel more like a classroom than an office. Anyway, I'm with MS. We go to his desk and I expect him to show me where my desk will be. But he walks off and I'm left standing there. MS starts talking to an Indian girl. I walk toward the receptionist and tell her that I know MS and I'm here to see MA. She doesn't do anything and I get a bit upset.

I sit down on the carpet in front of the Visitor desk. The Indian girl sits near me. She says she is going to be the lead of some department and she will be my supervisor. I am dubious and again upset. I'm an engineer, not some CSR. MS brings the Indian girl a tray of food, like in a school cafeteria. I try to catch MS's attention so we can go about our business but he doesn't notice me.

Short Falling
Method WILD
Last cycle of the night I attempt a WILD using the fall-through-the-bed technique. I manage to fall and feel the rush of air around me. As usual, it's dark with brief flashes of light. But as I'm trying to summon my landing point, the dream fades. Bummer.

I woke up 4 times to recall 4 dream and I am confident I was lucid in 3. They were very weak and hazy though, and they all devolved into sex dreams.

fragment
I am lucid but not sure how. I know I am dreaming but am immediately tempted into sex. Coitus ensues.

Spiders
Something about my father and two large tarantula spiders. I'm getting slightly better with my phobia of spiders but not completely over it. In the dream, as long as they are far away, I can tolerate them. But then one gets near me. I am sitting in a chair and it is on the floor. It walks close and I try to kick it away. But I miss with my foot. It gets even closer. I wake with a start, kicking away the sheets. Just a dream... Just a dream...

fragment
Another weak lucid like the first. I am lucid but not sure how. The dream ends up with sex.

fragment
Yes another lucid, but not sure how. I am slightly more lucid in this one compared to the others this night. I recall touching a wall to stimulate my sense of touch. But then it once again devolves into sex. I recall this time it was oral sex.

Don't remember much now. So slack lately about getting enough sleep and taking notes.

fragment
Something about coworkers. Vibe: angry, frustrated, condescending.

Irregular sleeping patterns for me lately. I sleep about 5-6 hours at a time in an irregular patterns the persists for several days. So as best as I can guess, I sometimes am getting a lot of REM sleep and sometimes seemingly none at all. Anyway, this dream below might have been two or more dreams but it was a blur when I woke up.

Going to McDonald's three times in one day. In the drive-thru in car with sister and father. No one asks what I wanted and that makes me upset.

Then at home, in a bedroom with two sets of bunk beds. Two coworkers fighting over some. One jumps from one bunk to the other and it almost falls. That makes me upset and I say something sarcastic and scolding. Then he threatens me with a hammer. Really? I start to walk any in disgust. Now he has a giant sledge hammer and he starts to swing it at me. I don't finch because I know he won't hit me. He stops the swing, surprised that I didn't move. Now I seem to be in the office. I walk away, letting the coworker get caught in the act of his aggression. I'm still upset but remain calm.

College Roommate Dentist
I'm in college. It seems I'm living with a roommate. He reminds me of my lab partner from a EE class that I barely knew. In the dream, he is a dentist and he takes patients in our apartment. It's like we have a garage and he has an office set up in there.

This was another lucid from several days ago that I didn't have time to journal. I don't recall much now, but the lingering emotion makes it memorable.

Jennifer
I become lucid somehow. I am in a house. It's vaguely familiar but I don't know specifically. I try to recall my plan. I think to summon my ex-girlfriend (which wasn't my plan, but it's something I've thought to do, but feared it might be dangerous). I seem to be in the living room of the house. I sense that around the corner and through the hall is the kitchen. I take a breath and prepare myself to meet Jen, who I haven't seen in 3 years. In those years, I have only dreamed of her once or twice, and even then only briefly. But I am haunted by memories of her in waking life.

I finally muster the courage and start walking toward the kitchen where I expect her to be. As I enter the door, I call to her loudly: "Jen?" Then I walk in and there she is. I stop, shocked that it worked. There she is after all these years. I take a moment to really look at her. She doesn't move and doesn't say anything. I look at her face. She seems a bit older. He face a bit worn and no makeup. She is not ugly but she is somewhat... undesirable. I silently thank my subconscious. I thought this would be very difficult and painful. But somehow, now that I see her, it's not so scary. I am not overcome with desire, or anger, or sadness. I just see her and she is just a person.

I talk to her briefly, but I don't recall any detail of the conversation. I only recall my sense of relief that I saw here and I didn't totally freak out.

This was a weakly lucid dream for several days ago. I didn't have time to journal it at the time. I don't recall much of the dream, but my interpretation is memorable.

Father
I am in my apartment living room. I see my father. He is sitting at the couch. He is bent over, writing something on the coffee table. I notice he is writing with his left hand.

Interpretation: My father isn't left-handed, but I am. I am the only person in my family who is left-handed. It's something I identify strongly with. When I saw in the dream that my father was writing with his left-hand, I realized that this dream character actually represented an aspect of myself. This made me think of when I look in the mirror in waking life. I see myself and, as I've become an adult, I look a lot like my father. When I look at my reflection, I see my father. This upsets me because I have a bad relationship with my father and a negative opinion of him. I have collected all my own negative character traits and projected them on to an image of my father. But really, it is myself. I can't reject and avoid the negative aspects of myself. I must accept them and work toward a holistic personal goal.

I'm still sick so I've been less diligent about taking notes. On the flip side, I'm getting a bit better at remembering dreams without notes.

Waves
Something about oceans waves. I think I'm discussing the science of waves with my sister. And the difference between waves and tides. Or something.

fragment
I know there was a dream in here. Maybe something about my sister.

Summer School
Why is this a recurring dream theme for me? I never took summer classes in my life. I've returned to my mother's house for the summer and I am attending classes in my old high school. I only have two changes of clothes, so I wear them over and over again. I am in a classroom with many of my high school classmates and my high school US history teacher. We are all seated at computers like a computer lab. I am and the end of the back row, at the farthest point in the room from the teacher. I'm trying to change the desktop background on my computer.

Then I am back at my mother's house, looking at my clothes in the closet. I think to go back to my apartment downtown for the weekend so I can pick up so more clothes and collect the mail.

Chess, Leaf Blower
0647: Cleaning up after a chess tournament. In a backyard, me and another guy are folding up patio tables and umbrellas and picking up chess pieces off the ground. I use leaf blower to collect the stray pieces (but in the dream, I call it a wood chipper). Need to drive the tables to a new venue. A group of four girls is leaving and the other guy wants to follow them and try to pick them up. I have trouble starting the leaf blower. I say my father game it to me, like an heirloom. There is a swimming pool and a pickup truck.

fragment
I recalled this at the very end of the night. I think it fits in here. Sara holding the front door open for me at work.

Baseball Stands
0911: At a baseball game with my father. It's a huge stadium. I think it's the Dodgers vs the Tigers in Detroit. We sit way up in the nosebleed section. Then two guys I knew in high school sit near us. My father points them out: "Hey look who it is." I ignore them and don't want to talk to them: "They aren't my friends anymore." Then the scene is a much smaller baseball field like at a high school. One of the high school classmates is at bat. He bats left-handed. He hits a foul ball that bounces around our seats and I grab it. Father suggests I give it to the other guy. But I refuse and keep it.

Another foul ball comes to me and I catch it. Then a guy in the stands who is dressed like an umpire step out to the edge of the field. He looks at me as says "Hey, we need that ball back." I think about it and then throw one of the balls to him. Then the chuckles and walks back to the stands. He tricked me! I want to say "Nice lesson in honestly for your kid" but I don't have the chance.

Short WBTB in which I use the bathroom and recall my goals and intention

Doors
Method WILD
Lucidity C
Vividness B
Control C
Begin lucid in an unfamiliar house. My plan and visualization was a Christmas party from a few weeks ago. But this house is totally different. I walk through the house, opening doors, trying to teleport to the party. One set of doors is three sets of doors, like connected hotel rooms, but three doors instead of two. I open one set of doors and see a man who looks like Wolverine from X-Men, but shorter and less threatening.

I open another door and see a woman who looks like the girl from Boy Meets World. I kiss her and then walk past. Now I am outside. It seems like a remote mountain road and the house I was in was a luxurious winter cabin. I walk out to the road. It's daylight. I'm in the middle of an evergreen forest. Dream fades.

Shutter Island and Nice Car
Method DILD
Lucidity C
Vividness B
Control C
1114: Not sure how, but I become lucid. I am in the Daisetta house. Once again I recall my goal to relive the Christmas party. I imagine a girl there whose name is Rachel. Instead I am with a woman in the family room. She leads me into the bathroom. I kiss her (I tend to do that a lot) and look at our reflection as we kill. Then she tells me that Rachel was missing but they found her (this is from the plot of Shutter Island). She pulls back the bathtub curtain. There is another woman in wet clothes who seems frightened. The bathtub is divided into two sections, like a food lunch tray.

I lose interest in that and move on. I walk back to the family room and phase through the sliding glass door (with some difficulty). Now I am outside and walk to the front yard. It's night and the streets is lined with cars. Across the street, I see a nice car with the door empty and lights on. It's white sports car, looks like a Tesla Roaster. I walk up to it and climb into the driver seat. On the passenger seat, there is a lit candle. I blow it out. Then I shift the car into drive and peel out. I drive up the residential street as fast as I can. It's fun to drive so recklessly. I turn out on to one of the main streets of town and weave through traffic. Other cars honk and swerve. I try to go even faster but I can't seem to.

American Psycho Playground
0524: I am in what seems to be a school playground in the middle of nowhere. Sandboxes, grassy areas, pull-up bars, chain-link fences, and so on. Christian Bale from American Psycho is here, chasing me and other people. Somehow he gets stabbed and falls to the ground. He calls an ambulance. The rest of us run and hide behind cover. He can't move but he's still throwing sharp things like knives and and pencils. One almost hits me. He is covered in blood. I'm not very afraid though. Just cautious to dodge the projectiles.

short WBTB, just long enough to drink a glass of water with a B-complex supplement

fragment
In bed, notice the nearby electrical outlet. It's making a noise like running water. I remove the plug from the top outlet and move it to the bottom, thinking that will somehow help.

fragment
My mother is in the next room. I overhear her talking to herself. She says that I was talking in my sleep.

Vivid Lucid With Some Tasks
Method DILD (prospective memory), DEILD
Lucidity B
Vividness A
Control B
1134: Begin recall in my bathroom. The light is off and the door is open. Dim morning light coming through my bedroom window. I remember my own advice to look at my hands and count my fingers. At first they appear normal but I stare at them for a moment. A finger on my left hand starts to look distorted and wavy. Bingo, I must be dreaming. I also notice the orientation of the bathroom is backwards compared to the real one.

I walk out the bathroom, through my bedroom, and on into the living room. There I see my father laying on the ground between the couch and coffee table. He's wrapped in a robe, like he's sick. I ask him a question, but move on. I peek in my roommate's room, but he's not there. I haven't stopped to think of a plan, so I'm just wandering aimlessly.

I exit the front door and find myself in an unfamiliar stairway. I go down one flight and pass by two young women. I think I said to them: "Oh, you're pretty, and so are you." They are carrying piles of clothes. I reason that they are moving in to the building. I stop on the landing of the floor below. It's covered with boxes and more clothes everywhere. I say aloud: "Wow, this place is really messy." Then I think: Wait, this is my place. It is my own dream in my own mind. Maybe the mess is symbolic. I pick up some of the clothes to get a closer look. They are actually neatly folded. I say aloud: "I guess I like my place like this." I'm not sure what I meant by that.

Now I exit the building and find myself in yet another unfamiliar setting. The building I was in is at the top of a rather steep hill. I am looking down a narrow street that goes down the hill with buildings, trees, and alleys on either side. It's only wide enough for foot traffic, no cars. I'd guess it looks a bit like San Francisco more than Los Angeles. Anyway, it's bright day and many people are on the street, going in and out of shops and sitting at cafe patio tables.

About half way down the hill, there is an awning that catches my attention. I think to fly and land on it. I start to fly but sputter and lose height. I land under the awning. I sit down at a cafe patio table. Also at the table is a young man with dark brown "bedhead" hair and a scraggly beard. In a hip way, not an ugly way. He's holding an Amazon Kindle. He's talking to a nearby waitress. Neither of them see to notice my presence.

Dream fades. I DEILD back.

I'm back at the same cafe patio. The man with the Kindle stands up and walks away, never having noticed me. I stand up and now have more lucidity and control. I walk to the middle of the street and look around, thinking of what to do. I'm a bit distracted as I notice a older woman standing at a podium nearby. Maybe the hostess of a restaurant. Or maybe she's selling something. I snap back into focus and remember a few tasks. Meditate. Hmm. Risky. I decide I'm not ready for that. Laugh. I can do that. I enjoy a big loud "HA HA HA!" in the middle of this busy street. Everyone stops and turns to look at me. The noisy chatter turns dead quiet. Am I embarrassed? No, surprisingly.

Now I have everyone's attention. What next? Cry and pick a fight. Not sure why I thought of these two things together. I look around the crowd and pick out the biggest, meanest guy. He's a tall, wide, Samoan-looking guy. I look up at him and taunt him with a childish "Boo hoo!" crying gesture. Then I punch him in the face with a right hook. He punches back but I block with my left arm and counter with another right. He tries a few more times but I block and counter-punch again and again. He swings once more, loses his balance and falls. I place one leg on him, like I'm posing on top of a mountain.

I start to think what to do next, but the dream fades.