One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy

The scene begins as if it was only a computer screen. I'm playing Warcraft III (yeah, that old) against some random opponent. I've all but lost; I only have one worker unit left and I'm trying to hide it somewhere on the map. This is poor sportsmanship, but I seem to want to make a joke out of it. My opponent eventually spots me and brings his army. My perspective shifts a bit. It seems I can move real objects into the game. I take a napkin and tear it into 4 smaller pieces. I give them to my in-game unit and lay them out like picnic blankets. When my opponent's army arrives, we have this exchange via the text chat:

Me: Tea time? ;)
They: :)

Okay, I'm happy that they seemed amused at my playfulness. I quit the game and see other programs open on the computer screen. One is a chat window. It seems the text I entered into the game is also in this other chat. Just the usernames are different.

40946q24834028lucy21: Tea time? ;)
146419u158john125409: I'd love to, Lucy ;)

Huh? I think this guy is confused. I look at my username which is just a string of random letters but happens to contain the sequence "lucy". I think of how I might gracefully clarify the misunderstanding. But as I do, the scene changes. Instead of a text chat, I now seem to be in a virtual reality scene of a beach with avatars of the people in the chat. There are about a dozen people, all guys.

I'm still trying to find something to say when everyone's attention is draw to a new participant. It's a very attractive young woman wearing a gray strapless bikini that leaves practically nothing to the imagination. Her hair is dark brown and she wears big sunglasses that hide half her face. Her skin is tan and supple. Needless to say, all the guys on the beach become fixated on her.

She turns to me, as if responding to my "tea time" joke. She struts to me. I'm a bit puzzled. I notice the gaze of all the other guys and I know exactly what's going through their minds. They are like drooling wolves, licking their chops. I am concerned for her. It's just her surrounded by all these lecherous guys. Where is her common sense?

But she is nonchalant. Without asking she links her arm with mine and starts talking. "Ohmigad, that's so funny! We should totally hang out! You have to take me shopping..." And with that, she and I start walking off. We are heading inland from the beach toward a cluster of shops. I suppose I'm leading, but I'm mostly confused and just reacting to what she commanded.

We burst into a grocery store and my new bikini-clad friend starts perusing the shelves. My feelings are mixed. Yes, at least we exited the awkward situation on the beach. But now I'm out of the pan and into the fire. Is this brat taking me for a ride? Does she want me to buy her things? She starts grabbing things and I am dismayed in my thoughts. Shouldn't we at least get a basket to carry things? What are you looking for? Are you just grabbing everything?

She wanders off, looking for more things. I have a moment collect myself. She returns with her arms full of curios and declares "I want everything. I need a bag to carry it. Where can I buy a bag?"

This provokes my cynicism: "Probably with all the other overpriced stuff." My thinking was that you shouldn't buy a shopping bag at the grocery store. Of course they mark that up because you realize you need one too late. But see doesn't catch my sarcasm.

"Oh! I want one that looks like the Monorail!" She links her arm in mine again and drags me toward another department of goods for sale. I don't know what to make of this. She seems to be a scatterbrain but her plucky attitude is almost charming. She is now grabbing at handbags and that has drawn the attention of a male security guard.

I try to take in the scene. This girl, still in a gray bikini that is practically painted on and her obnoxiously large sunglasses indoors. My arms full of the junk she wants to buy. The security guard interloping, and who knows what his intentions are.

The girl starts bickering with the security guard. Maybe he accused her of trying to steal? Or maybe he was trying to hit on her? I can't follow it all, but this girl is definitely the center of her own universe. The security guard backs away. It seems he's met his match.

She turns to me. Those giant sunglasses hide any attempt I try to read her. She just smirks and marches up to me. I have a sudden change of heart. Maybe this is just who she is. Who am I to judge? She hasn't hurt anyone. She certainly makes an impression and maybe she's a little crazy, but who isn't? Accepting her now, I know what to do. I offer my elbow and she gleefully links her arm in mine again. We strut off to the cashier. Who's gonna pay for all this?