lucid

I checked into a hotel where I knew my husband had a room already. It was late and dark inside the hotel. It was closed for the night. A night clerk said they had 6 rooms left and asked me what kind I wanted. I went upstairs to let myself into my husband’s room while they were getting my room ready. Husband wasn’t in his room so I went back downstairs.

I was standing outside the hotel waiting for Mom to fly in to town. I saw a plane crash and land on it’s wing, then it tipped over upside down. I heard people screaming inside plane. I was worried my Mom was on that flight. Then I heard her screaming. I started running towards the plane and then saw that she was coming from the hotel and she was ok.

My husband and I were on a vacation together, staying in a hotel that had a creepy manger. He was our age or older, and had a thick head of bushy brown hair and giant dark piercing eyes.
He was acting inappropriately towards me, in a very threatening way when no one else could see.
At one point I had to go back into the room with a key, to get additional clothing, headphones or earbuds, and [my?] wallet and the creepy manager was there, and I couldn’t find all of the things I needed before I felt like I needed to escape.

It was hazy and darkish and I was walking down a small alley/road with my dog and saw I saw another dog behind a fence that looked like her only a different color. I knew they had once known each other, or were siblings, and I wondered if they recognized each other; they seemed to.

My husband, creepy manger, one other guy and I were sitting on lawn chairs facing the ocean
It was sunny and warm
We were watching strange crustaceans and cuttlefish on shore, interacting with one another.
At first just one, but then all, began changing colors. Beautiful iridescent sparkling colors that faded into one another. I became lucid when I thought about how strange it was. The dream quality diminished instead of enhancing. The background with the animals froze, and things were dimmer all around. The people around me were still talking. I felt hesitant to fly or do anything too intense because it felt like I was about to wake up. I tried to interact with one and soon either woke up or lost lucidity.

I was driving a car with my brother in the passenger seat. The car started sputtering, and my brother gave me a look that said this happens all the time.
I pulled over near someones house and parked haphazardly.
People came out of the house an accused me of ruining some of their lawn ornaments. I apologized, and a younger woman asked me if I wanted coffee or tea or anything.

Thoughts:
The hotel part is similar to another dream Ive had recently—having to go back into the hotel rom with a key to get additional items while trying to avoid/not trusting the manger. Hmm. I need things, from an area that is supervised by someone I don't trust. I'll have to think more on this. Im not sure what ocean animals signify...perhaps deep-seated memories or creative ideas? And finally, I am in the drivers seat, although my car breaks down. Of course. I don't feel like the best example for my younger brother perhaps?

I was entering an auditorium for some kind of job-related announcement/seminar. Donald Trump is there. The crowd was told that they can’t stay unless they are wearing a certain kind of shoes or attire. I looked down to see I am wearing a pair of strange high-top black with white markings canvas tennis shoes. I had to leave. Someone tells me I should have worn my silver shoes and I feel irritated by this remark.

I went to my apartment, which is similar to an apartment I rented in waking life over 10 years ago. My mom was there, she tells me that Donald Trump has bought the company I work for. I told her he did not, I don’t even work for a company, I work for one woman who calls herself a company. My mom laughs at me, telling me Im wrong. The way she is treating me made me angry. I asked her where are her facts?! And she sort of went catatonic, looking off to here right, not acknowledging me. I yelled at her but Im confused why she isn’t answering me now. Then I realized I was dreaming. I still felt angry so I pushed her and then I decided I was going to through the television out of the window. We were on the 2nd floor, but since I knew I was dreaming i knew there would be no consequences. I did this, and then I left. I was outside on the drive with my dog and I decided to fly. (ho, hum) I had my dog under my left arm and I was holding sandals in my right hand. Once I was floating I realized I didn’t need to hold onto my sandals and I could let my dog to the ground as well. I thought about running with my dog too. The outside of the apartment and the street are almost identical to the apartment I rented over 10 years ago. (#4) My husband wakes me up to tell me he is leaving for work.

Thoughts:
This apartment seems to be an important location. In waking life I lived tree for only a year. When I moved in things were great- I was dating a new guy, I had just started a career I loved, I could pay my bills and I had friends that I went out with regularly. Over the year that I lived there my drinking became out of control, my closest friendship enabled my bad habits. We were robbed together at gunpoint down the street from this apartment while walking to a nearby shopping center. I starting dating a drug-addicted-sociopathic-compulsive liar. I lost more than one good friend and a good job. I ended up moving out of the place and into the house that my crazy partner lived in with some friends. This was the beginning of one of the roughest periods of my life, but that ended up teaching me a lot of valuable lessons. Maybe the apartment symbolizes a transitional period between good and bad?
The dreams where family members hate me or treat me horribly are so common now that I have decided to really focus on becoming lucid in these moments. Instead of throwing things out of a window and flying off though I would like to do something else. Something to break this cycle. Maybe just tell them I love them?
Shoes were a theme in this dream too. I guess they must symbolize how I feel about myself compared to others.? And how dare Trump invade my dreams!

I was at a mechanics to get my car fixed. A song came on the radio (some old R&B or funk song) that I liked, and I felt happy. I told someone that my Dad used to love this song. I started flowing around the parking lot. Realized I was dreaming and became lucid. I flew into the sky and saw 3 blue jays flying near me. I decided to fly next to them, but one of them looked wary of me so I sped up and flew really fast towards the mountains in the distance. I was high up, and there were clouds, and it was beautiful. I landed on the highest peak of the mountain, and I discovered a small room just inside of the rock I landed on. It had a small branch carved into the stone and an olive-green cushion to make the seat more comfortable. There were 2 windows carved into the stone as well, and I looked back out towards the area I flew from.

As I climbed down I lost lucidity. I walked past a house that was partially open (missing outside walls) and I saw an area with lots of shelves and interesting [nature-based?] art. All I can really remember about these objects is that I saw leaves and wood.

I needed to take a shower before a road trip. I had trouble deciding which shower I would use. I knew I had hours until I needed to leave so there was no rush.

I was living in an apartment complex and driving home through the parking lot. I knew I needed to pay my rent but the office was closed. I saw who I thought was the office manager outside talking to another person and I briefly thought maybe I would just walk down and pay the rent to her. But when I parked near the office I saw that there were designated slots to put your rent check in after hours and I decided I would do that. My last name was completely different than my maiden or married name: Polley. First name was the same.

Thoughts:
I have no idea. I have been getting good sleep the last few nights. The lucid dream wasn’t the most lucid I’ve been. I will have to think about these for a while.

I went to bed early last night on 3 glasses of wine (yeah I know) and mild depression. I woke up around 2am with memories of a dream where my brother was very angry with me. I have these dreams fairly regularly, where either my brother, my mom, or my husband really seem to hate me and I can't figure out what it is that I have done that has made them feel this way, or to this extreme. I also had memories of being near a black dog -maybe a lab/mastiff mix?- who was viciously defending her puppy from my dog Cayna and I. I was trying to slowly back away and keep my dog from interacting with the angry dog mama, and my fingers were very nearly bitten off several times. When I woke up with these dreams still on hand, I felt too sick and too apathetic to write them down.

I read for about an hour before I laid back down to attempt sleep. WILDs were on my mind, they almost always are in the early morning hours because I've had so many in these circumstances. I usually know I have to lie on my back and remain very still until I feel myself getting sleepy, then the buzzing/synthesizer noises come and then I feel myself push out of my body and float away from the bed. I tossed and turned and slept for minutes at a time until I returned to lying on my back and feeling really sleepy. I heard loud discordant crashing sounds instead of the more usual buzzing/synth sounds. I felt myself rise out of my body, and I floated to my right and up until I was against the wall. Where my face was touching the wall, I could see an Iggy Pop poster hanging there in the darkness. I don't actually have this poster or any poster hanging there, but I didn't think much of this, and I continued to float, but towards the ground at the foot of my bed. My dog's bed is there, and when I landed I saw her; her face slightly distorted like it has been in other lucid dreams, sort of snarling and scared. I tell her it's ok, I'm dreaming. As usual, I worry if I am really at the foot of my bed and talking out loud. I get up and try to fly. It works, and I start wondering around my house. The clarity wasn't the best I've had. My house was dim, somethings were normal, and others weren't. As I approached my front door I thought, 'Wait! I should experiment here. Should I meditate? (I've done this before with strange effects) Then I decided I would try to reinvent the interior of my home, because as I was trying to fall asleep earlier in the night I have visualized a fantastic treehouse/hobbit-hole house in a forest of giant trees. I closed my eyes and told my self that when I opened them, my house would be amazing. It didn't really work. My kitchen had expanded and looked different, but my old rotten house was still mostly there. From here I lost lucidity or my memory of what happened next.

New dream: I was with my Mom and Step-Dad in an upscale department store/hotel. They were trying to exit the store by climbing up some rocks that were part of a display, and I was trying to explain that all they had to do was walk through a couple of hallways back to the hotel and exit from there. They didn't seem convinced, and anyway, had already managed to mostly slip through a crack in the wall to the outside sidewalk above.

Then I was with my brother in McDonalds (!!! I haven't eaten fast food in a long time). We each had our laptops and it seemed like we were having a meeting. I was just going to order some coffee. At first we were trying to squeeze into a booth with 4 other people, and then I noticed all of the other empty booths around and suggested we use one of those. The dream gets even less cohesive here—my brother's wife was there, then we were either at their house or my Mom's. Dialogue happened but I can't remember much of what we talked about. A portion was about Shepherd puppies, and people breeding them, and how one guy had a web-cam on his to help sell them. I was trying to share my knowledge of Shepherds but no one wanted to listen.

Then I was in a car, maybe in the backseat but someone else was definitely driving. My mom and her husband were saying things about me that I found really out-of-touch, like laughing about how I love certain things/celebrities that I haven't been into since i was a teenager. I tried to correct them but they just smiled like they knew better. Then my Dad called. (he passed away last year) He told me Happy Birthday (not my birthday, but maybe I was thinking of Father's Day?) and was his usual excited and goofy self. He also joked about me liking a certain celebrity and things I used to like when I was a teenager. I turned to the woman driving, who I could now see (and I seemed to be in the front passenger seat now) and I knew she was my dad's girlfriend(dream only, not IRL). I tried to tell her that I wasn't the same person they thought I was, and she seemed to pay more attention, but still didn't really believe me.

Last, I was walking and talking to a vague someone and explaining to them how it seems that I must come off as stupid to everyone because it seems like everyone treats me that way. The look on their face told me that they also thought I was stupid, but was trying to placate me.

Thoughts:
I gave a lot of exposition throughout, so there isn't much extra to add. I think I have self esteem issues, anxiety, and guilt over not seeing my family much nor feeling very connected to them.

I fell back asleep this morning while trying to visualize floating on a river. I practice visualization pretty regularly, and occasionally it produces a WILD. When I initially entered the dream I thought that it must be one of the rivers nearby, as the landscape looks the same. I seemed to be floating on an invisible boat, or I just never looked down because my field of vision was just the river and the trees on either side. Instead of moving forward slowly, like floating on a boat, my body felt the sensation of going backwards, and rather quickly, and feeling regular patterns of large swells of waves, almost like a slow, backwards rollercoaster. The scene was in fact similar to the image on a video of a simulated ride. After a little while of really enjoying this sensation, I was plunged into darkness, and had a tingling sensation. I continued to feel as if I were moving backwards, only now it felt more like falling. A tiny fear came up in me and I briefly thought of death. I saw tiny orange and yellow moving geometric figures accompanied by rapid 'tink tink tink tink' sounds as they slid around on either side of my visual field, sort of like a mini tetris game.


Thoughts: The was not quite an OBE, as I did not have the sensation of moving or jumping out of my body as I have in the past.