Sorgeloos

"Here it comes, here it comes..." I said to myself as I awaited to be launched into the world of dreams. Suddenly a huge sensation fills me up as
I lose, what I only can describe, my weight of my body and leave it behind. I find myself standing in my bed, shrugging off the sensation as I always
do. Neither unpleasant, but transcending from a body like that will always feel alien to me.

I jump off the bed and land with perfection next to a window over looking the streets. Snickering to myself I remember the days I actually went down and opened
the door to get where I wanted. That was before I realised the rules of the world didn't apply here at all. I place my hands gently on the window and push it out.
It falls below on the ground with a crashing sound. As I looked down at the depris I created, with any lack of care of my actions, I remembered the time I used to
punch the glass out instead of pushing it gently...

This all changed after a dream I had where I had cut myself on the glass doing this. I've been punched in the face, broken my nose, getting
stabbed and got my eye gouged out by an assasin... Pain-receptors usually let me feel a sensation how it could feel like if those things would happen to me,
but because I never got disembowled or anything like that I only felt 'What it would have been like'. Not really painfull at the end, altough everyone has cut
themselfs before and that caused the pain to be so real that I had to remember myself the whole time I was dreaming so I didn't yell it out.

I jump in the air out of the open window and fall down. As I see myself falling at rapid speed to the many sharp glass pieces below I can stop myself just
in the nick of time before hitting them. Letting out a delightfull sigh, I fly away into a random street leaving my house behind. I stop and land in a random
garden next to a house. As I'm wondering what to do I decide to call in a DC. For a while I wanted to experiment to bring other then the normal norm of DC's
in my dreams... Like animated characters. The idea of calling in Saya from Saya no Uta came as an idea, but I leave the idea behind for another time...

"Sarah..." I say into the air and turn around and there she is. White short hair as always, but she looks a little bit different. Her clothes doesn't seem
to fit her at all and she looks rather dull and annoyed. I close the gap between me and her and give her a hug. "What are you thinking you're doing?"
She suddenly asks. Stepping back out of surprise I said carefully "Just giving you a hug, is that so bad?" - "Don't!" she exclaims. Surprised by this
I recall a time when I had far less respect for Dream-Characters. How I often would punch them or let them do humiliating things for my enjoyment. I shrug it off
but couldn't stop thinking that Sarah is not behaving as her normal self.

My actions were interrupted when suddenly a TeamSpeak window opened up in front of me, floathing mid-air. Apparently a discussion were made by WolfedOut
and 2stickmen about something of Minecraft... That is if you could describe it as a discussion, more a fight who could yell the loudest through their mic.
"Stop it you two!" I yelled getting angry. "I'm in the middle of a lucid dream and I have wasted enough time without you two disturbing me. Minecraft is the last
thing I wanna do now. In fact, I created Minecraft before so been there, done that." I said without a tone of respect as I close the application before they
could do a retaliation to my words. In real life I'm much nicer to them, but in dreams I'm more egocentric. Why not? It IS my dream after all...

Looking through the air I remember having difficulties to know the rules to control a dream before... That was before I watched Star Trek from TNG, DS9 and Voyager
back to back. As I used to describe the experience to people before as an Oculus Rift experience, I now laugh how idiotic that comparison was. This is no
Oculus Rift experience... This is a holodeck from Star Trek I tell them. So from that point on I used that to my own advantage. "Computer..." I start off,
"Load previous save, setting ancient eastern-japan, samurai time..." Suddenly the whole environment changes in a white fog as pieces of the setting fall in Star Trek
wise. "The only thing missing..." I think to myself, "are the 'whoosh-whoosh!' sounds and the 'bring-brong!' sound effects from Star Trek... I'll add that in
next time!"

As the setting completes itself I find myself in eastern-japan back in the old times. I face a shop that I know sells Samurai Swords so I gleefully enter the shop
with Sarah reluctantly following me in. "Kombanwa Genki-Desu!" says the owner. Probably some japanese, or words resembling them, from various animes I've watched
thrown in together in a sentence. Am I glad no japanese people are seeing this dream. "Genki-desu!" I yell back. I pick up a katana and see a price tag of 100.
"hmmm..." I let out. Not knowing if 100 yen is much or not. Probably it's somewhere of 100 dollars or so I think to myself. Japanese people would probably facepalm
themselfs if they knew I actually tried to cut the price lower then that. But talking to the owner was no easy task, so I quickly gave up on it.

Going outside, I immediately took the the katana out of it's sheath. I'm quite fond of katanas, they are nice swords and I can't help but smile at the reflection
of this elegant weapon. The next scene what I did with it I will not include in this story as I probably humiliate every asian person and dishonour every japanese
person as I played with it like a lightsaber from Star Wars or as a Bath-leth from Star Trek... Probably even Sarah was ashamed of my actions, but I never looked at her.
I was way to bussy cutting trees and shortening everything down in size I could find. I stopped my child-play when I heard the sound of fighting and swords clashing down.
I ducked behind a wooden-gate that looked like the gates you see in cowboy movies entering a cafe (don't ask me...) and peeked through a hole. "Sarah!" I yell, "You gotta
see this! This is some real Rurouni Kenshin shit going on there!" Sarah didn't even reply as I kept watching the fight.

It ended with a knock-out of the left guy with the other guy towering above him ready to give the final blow. I couldn't hold it anymore, I gripped my katana close to me and
as a wild-lunatic I rushed through the cowboy-gate to the garden with my katana holding up as a madman yelling 'Deeeeesssuuuuuu!' along the way. Our swords clashed
in the air, we pushed eachother back, dust following in the air as we slid around the garden... if it even was a garden at that point. Next you just need to imagine
the most clumsiest sword-play ever. At the end I thrusted my sword in my opponent stomach. Blood flew out in every direction as my enemy fell deeper in my sword and came
to rest on my shoulder. "Konbanwa friend.... Desu..." I whispered and pushed him off my sword.

I woke up in a shock. "No!" I cried to myself. "It just started to be so awesome..." I thought to myself. I smacked my hand on my head and held it up in the air where I was
holding the katana in. "What the..." I exclaimed when I suddenly started to notice something strange. There, a little sixth finger was hanging from my hand. My confusement
ended shortly and I began to smile. "Oh dear false awakening... Not this time you won't!" I stated. I jumped right up and said with proud (now shame)
"Watashi wa Samurai Kasper desu!" as I did a superman pose. There was no hesitation, I flew out my bed, crashed through my window and as I was falling down I yelled
"Computer! Continue story!" The dream quickly changed back and I landed on one knee and in my right hand I held my beloved katana again. "Oh, almost forgot. Computer,
load character Sarah." She suddenly appeared again, dressed the same and with even a worse expression then before. "Let us move on, Sarah-kun! Our story has not ended yet!"
Said I. I quickly noticed the wounded guy I saved and ran towards him. "Dai...dai...daijo...aaargh... Are you ok, dude?" I rambled. He opened his eyes slowly and said in pain
"Yes. I am fine. Thanks". He got up and looked at a building that came up from nowhere. I looked too at, what I think, was the entrance of a japanese palace.

Noone said anything. For some reason I knew it too. There, our arch-nemesis resides. All three of us marched to the entrance... Well, all two of us, Sarah was more
dragging her feet around. When we came inside it looked more like a dojo. Or what I think a dojo is. Guessing back again it probably looked nothing like a dojo. When we
reached the middle of this place, I turned around to Sarah who calmly walked towards me. Being happy that her pacing changed, I tried to say "Sarah, maybe you should..."
when suddenly I got interupted by her grin. A grin so wide it made me sick to my stomach. Actually, I did feel something in my stomach, when I looked down I saw a short
knife going through me. Blood started pouring out as I walked backwards to the wall and looked in horror what was happening before me. "Sarah... why did... why?" I asked
shockingly as I pulled the knife out of me and held my wound. She answered with an eerie laugh that made my bones freeze, like a maniac-laugh from an episode I remember
in Higurashi no koro ni.

Confused and in shock, I watched as she tears her clothes apart. Her nude body quickly changed into a white-like dress. Her short white hair changed into messy long black
hair and her grin was the only thing you could see through. Genuinely terrified I was thinking about shutting the story down, ask the computer to delete Sarah. But on one
side I wanted this to go on so I watched as a sword in her right hand came out of nowhere. A sword so thin and long, but quickly that changed too. The sword was made
up of hundreds of razor blades that suddenly came free, attached at eachother with some kind of wire. As she swung this devilish weapon, the razors roared through the sky.
It looked like a combination of a sword with a whip, with razor blades attached on it.

"That's not Sarah!" yelled my partner. "It's her! The mastermind!" he declared. Suddenly it all made sense. It was never Sarah to begin with, her attitude, her clothing...
I called up someone entirely else from in the very beginning. Suddenly I was disturbed by a painfull sensation. She swung her sword while I was off-guard and her razors
pierced through my left hand. I bit my lip, this 'being cut' feeling was more intense then the stabbing. I gripped my sword and wanted to end this as quick as possible.
While rushing her she swung her sword again, ripping through my flesh. I stopped in my tracks as I held my arm. "You're going to die" she said snickering behind her black
hair. Suddenly I realised something. "No, I'm not..." I said calmly. Suddenly I started to grin and looked at her, which made her drop her smile. "You see..." , I said
"I CAN'T die... If I ignore the pain, you have nothing against me." I rushed again towards her. In a frenzy she swung her sword again and again, cutting into my flesh. But
to no avail, it didn't matter anymore. In a sense, this sensation made me even go faster. In a short second I almost imagined I saw horror in her face when my katana sliced
off her head. As her head fell with a tud, her spraying body collapsed with no sound.

As we walked outside, my partner gave one final thanks before dissapearing in his tracks. I sighed and said "Computer, activate Sarah". Suddenly Sarah in her normal self came
running towards me "Let's go! Let's go! I wanna go someplace else!" She said enthoustiastically. "Where do you wanna go?" I asked. "Anywhere but here." she said. So we walked
onwards. Not much happend then, except me losing my precious katana in a well, buying a new one that broke soon after and me waking up and looking at my hand for a sixth finger
but this time it was done. I was awake.

"Yes!" I said to myself as Sleep-paralysis sets in "Now, don't think of anything scary... like the grudge...
fuck!" said I getting scared, but Luckily for me, nothing happend. Instead I left my body and felt myself floating
to the ceiling. I opened my eyes and looked down onto my bed, empty. "Jesus, my bed is a mess." I said.
I tried to floath down, but gravity had not set in, so I pulled myself down on an invicible rope.

"Okay..." I said happy. "... Gravity is setting in." I realized as I walked down the stairs. When I reached the ground
I looked up and saw, with horror, my mom sitting in the faraway couch. "Okay, Kasper, concentrate... Atleast you
can use your trick to spawn Constantine... Just use the script" I assured myself. My mom looks up.
"Hi! Mom! uhm... is Constantine outside?" said I, trying to be confident. "Yes, she is." my mom said calmly.
"Where you going?" She asked. "Grocerie-shopping with Constantine" I said, sticking to the script. "Shopping
for what, dear?" She suddenly asked. Dumbstruck I panicked, because this she never asked before. "Uhm...
Cookies!" I said. "Cookies... What...kind... of... cookies?" She began to say, in a robotic voice. I reached
for the door, ready to make a run for it. "the...salty ones?" I said quickly. "WRONG COOKIE!" She suddenly yelled.
I screamed, for my mom changed into a demonic nature. Eyes turning red and spinning... I shrieked, while opening
the door wildly. "Hello Ka - 'NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!'" I yelled, interrupting Constantine mid-sentence. I grabbed her hand
and ran away.

"What happend?" she asks confused. "Vincent's... favourite... monster!" I stuttered, running
at high pace. She looked back. "Your mom?" She asks. "No!... Cookie...monster". "How did that happen?" she asks me
in a confused tone. I stopped. "Things... tend to turn demonic if I panic. For some reason my mom left the
script and asked me something new, so I panicked. Cookie monster, for some reason, came up in my mind so I
said 'cookies' and... - 'COOKIES!'" Interrupted by my mom, still chasing me. I grabbed Constantine her hand
again and ran back in a wide circle to the house. Slamming the door shut behind us, I let out a sigh. "That was close"
I said. Suddenly the door started to open. With haste we held the door shut, with our back. Re-acting the scene
of Jurrasic Park. "Search for a shotgun!" I yelled, while wildly looking for a shotgun to blow my mom her head off.
At the end, there was no shotgun... "Keys" Constantine said and locked the door. "NOOOOO!" My mom yelled outside.
Feeling safe for a second, we came to the conclusion my mom had her own pair of keys. "It knows how to open doors!"
I yelled,still trying to re-act Jurrasic Park in a vain attempt to spawn a shotgun. As we were holding the handle,
a voice behind us spoke. "What's the problem?".

I looked back. "Who are you supposed to be?" I asked annoyed.
"Your father" he said. Getting angry for someone to impersonate my dad, I lost lucidity for a second and wanted
to punch him in the face if it was not for the reason I had my hands bussy holding my mom outside. Luckily, I came back.
"Do something!" I yelled. "Oh, your mother is in one of her periods again" He says, while shoving us away and opening the door.
"WRONG COOKIE!" My mom yelled at my dad. "I know, hon. I know, come with me" He said reassuring, while walking away with my mom.
We waited until the yelling of cookies was over, before we left the house and went to the opposite road.

"This is NOT what I wanted" I said angry. "The only thing I wanted was to spawn you, then we could just walk
and talk... Maybe about my dad or what Anne said. But nooo, I changed my mom into a monster... AGAIN!" said I in
a frenzy. "Do things turn demonic often?" asks Constantine. "I once punched my cat in the face... it turned demonic.
One time I came here and my dog was acting apeshit. He acts apeshit IRL too, but now it was, like, tottaly apeshit...
so I punched him in the face. And he turned demonic" I explained. "you... punched your mom?" she asks. "No, not yet
that is" I said back. "Thing is..." I started, "... I once changed the entire world into minecraft! Then I lost
lucidity and transformed into a mindless Steve... But I could do stuff! I once spawned a dragon, I did lost
control of it, but there are times I just can't do shit... I want to re-create a scene of Godzilla and King
Ghidorah from GMK and spawn Lars in it so he can see - 'is he black?' - intterupt Constantine me. "What? Who?
No, he is not black!" I said. "Why would you ever ask..." I began, but suddenly fell to the ground.

"What's happening now?" I thought to myself, when I suddenly found me and Constantine standing in a wooden house
with multiple floors. "This is so not going as I want it to go..." I sighed. I looked at Constantine and noticed
she changed faces again, but always keeps her black hair. "Why do you do that? Changing how you look?" I asked her.
"Because I want to look different sometimes" She said back. "So WHAT was the point of you taken me to shop for clothes
the entire time yesterday?" I asked baffled. "No point" She said calmly. I let out a sigh. "Constantine..." I began,
"... do you, like, hear me when I talk or think about you when I'm awake?" I asked nervously. "Yes, but not clear.
Like a radio with a lot of white noise. Words pop out, sometimes sentences." She answered back. "Oh... uhm...
about some of the things I think sometimes... You know..." I said in a little voice. "No problem for me" She said.
"Oh great" I said reassured. "You know, I found you as a kid..." said I. "Yes, but you asked me to take the form
of an adult" She said. "I only did that because we were thrown naked into a room and I didn't like the fact you
were a naked kid" I pointed out. "So, I changed" she said. "Yeah, you did" I said back. "I woke you up when you
saw me" she points out. "Yeah... you DID do that, yes" I said. "So... Why re-act our world with shopping? This
world is far superior!" I remarked. "You really think that?" she asked, frowning, in a voice that I felt slightly
offended by.

"So what do we do now?" she asks while we climbed the stairs. "I don't know... maybe I transform
myself into a woman?" I said suddenly. She stops. "Do it" she says. I closed my eyes and said "WOMAN" and opened my eyes again.
"Did it work?" she asks curiously. "I don't know... I don't see anything" I remarked. "Maybe I'm flat-chested?
wouldn't be a surprise IRL if I would have been a girl... Ah, no, that doesn't belong. No, still a guy" I said.
"Why not start small?" she said. "Small?" I asked back. "You know... wish IT away?" she said. "... and then
build it. I would show you, but you would just wake up again" She points out. "No, let's not do that at all" I said sharply.
"Why a woman, though?" she asks curiously. "'Cause your sex has it easier then us" I said unknowingly. She let out a sigh
and suddenly walked further on her own. "What? What is it? Constantine?" I said, following her. Suddenly I collided with a
person. A whole crowd appeared on the second floor and Constantine was nowhere to be seen. "Watch it!" Yelled a guy and pushed
me away onto another guy sitting on the edge of the balcony. "Watch it!" said this guy and pushed me back. I got
pissed. "No, you watch it!" I responded and pushed him with my whole body, causing us to fall over the balcony.

Luckily I discovered I had super-strength and with one hand I catched the edge and with the other the foot of the guy I made fall.
"Wow, that was close!" I remarked. I looked down and saw the guy I was holding looked rather lifeless... I saw his neck in a weird
position and it was dragging on the floor. "Oh Jesus..." I said. I let him go. A hand reached for me, I pulled on the hand, making
a second guy falling down and break his neck aswell. "Oh God!" I yelled. I pulled myself up. Suddenly every Dream-character
began to yell, making a hurricane of noise. I ran away, they ran after me. It was as scary as in the movie Inception. Suddenly
I was in a room and out of the other door, guys in white came in. "No, not you guys! I'm NOT GOING BACK! You guys captured me for 3
nights in a fuckin' row and held me in a looney-house before I could escape. And fuck the talking Taco-guy!" I said furiously, remembering
a past event. I said out loud "KATANA" and swung my arm, while grabbing an innocent Dream-character. "STAND BACK!" I yelled, while
holding my weapon against his throath. "OR I..." I began, realizing it was not a katana but a plastic knife you find in fastfood-chains
like McDonalds. "... slith...his...uhm, throath?" I stuttered. For a second I thought I was fucked, but the crowd seemed to take
my warning seriously. So I just went into it. "STAND BACK!" I yelled. "Easy, easy" said the men in white "Noone should get hurt". Out
of the other door, a cop-woman came in with a gun "Oh, no" I cried. I was so not in the mood for my brain to simulate what it thinks
a gun-wound would feel like. "What are your demands?" asked the cop. Now, from my experience with movies... and I watch alot of movies...
this was not going to end well for me, it never did in the movies. "I want Constantine!" I yelled. "Ok..." said a guy in white and got
closer. "But let him go, take me". I was more then happy to replace the two.

"No! My husband!" yelled a lady in the background.
A crowd formed around us. The cop holding her gun at me, the white men getting closer. A woman crying.
I almost began to laugh how absurd this situation was going, while all I wanted to do was talk with Constantine while walking
down a road. "What's happend now?" Asked Constantine, pushing her way through. "Constantine!" I yelled and threw away the guy to his
crying wife, making them stumble. I grabbed her hand and threw the plastic knife at the guy while yelling "take this with you!"
but rather then falling on the floor, it pierced the guy head and fell down dead. Everyone, like the cards in the world of Alice
in Wonderland, jumped in the air to get me. I fell down on the floor and yelled "Constantine, do something!" She bended over me and
created a bubble that defended us and suddenly a white flash appeared and we were in an empty room, but the same house.

My vision was distorted. I heard a voice. It said "Hey, there. My name is Paula!" It seemed my vision was zoomed in, suddenly I saw
I was looking at breasts. "Ack!" I fell backwards and restored my vision. A woman was standing there, with a huge cleavage. "Holy, STOP
you going to wake me up!" I yelled. She laughed. "You are not used to much are you?" she responds back. I didn't like her tone. "Who are you?"
I asked. "My name is Paula Shefe" She explained. "Paula Sheevee?" I asked. "No, look" My vision zoomed back in at a necklace that
resembled a dog-tag. "Ahn, Shefe" I remarked "Wow..." I said, "You DO can read in dreams! it's even crystal..." I began, suddenly noticing
I was, once again, looking at breasts "Ack!" I fell backwards again. "STOP MESSING WITH MY VISION!" I demanded. She responded
with more laughter. Constantine was chuckling aswell. "Damn you women!" I expressed. I began to walk away and they followed me.
Suddenly a kid came up and as frustrated as I was at that point I said "I'm gonna punch the snot out of that kid". "Sure" says
Constantine. "Murder, treason... what is child-abuse anyway?" she pointed out. "You're god-damn right" I remarked. "Falcon...." I began,
suddenly I was in my room, "... punch!". I hit a brick-wall. I shaked my hand, suddenly realizing I woke up.






- Because this is my dream journal I made it like it was a story. All the actions that happend, happend real. 85% of what is said was said indeed, some stuff were from other lucids I put into this to fill in a long gap where
just nothing happend. I began with only "I said" and stuff without emotions, but this got rather dull to read, so I made some emotions into it that I think would fit best. In short this is a story closely based what happend in ly dream. The character Paula original had more lines in my lucid, but I decided not to include them, because most of what she said was perverted. Figures the way she looked.