non-lucid

I'm gonna go ahead and start a dream journal/ blog to start making sense of what is going on in my dreams. I have some interesting dreams but dangerous as well so whatever we'll see what happens. To start this off, to whoever reads this, apparently some aspect or part of me was sucked into some kind of black hole of confusion thanks to tendency of an evil friend I used to have to not watch his own creations. (samwe went for me apprently, i was only 17 years old) so many of my dreams messages and symbols might come in a confused manner.What I mean is I think that maybe what I am saying in my mind when I say it is actually based off of a confused basis which would make no sense to an outside observer, at least a part of me is like that. Anyways the words still come out ok when I type so i can use this as a tool to help me find what exactly happened. Also, a diffrent aspect of me apparently was captured by some kind of insane sex monster with tentancles, which I reall dont know how to deal with at this point. And becasue of that sex demons are constantly trying to steal my life force at night and sometimes during the day. This seems to be amplified when I'm around people with similar demons ( which is ALOT of people). Also! this demon is prevalent in people's weird misfigured eye pieces.

Anyway last night , from what I remember at this point was me being at my uncle david's house in california, or some kind of projection of it. It was like a house of my david's house combined with another one of my relative's house in california. A lot of family was there, my mom, me, my current boyfriend, my sister, my cousin. I dont remember what we were doing, apparentyl just having fun talking and what not. There were other people there I don't know, presumably my uncle's previous sex partners. We were there and at one point, I went into another room cause I had to go pee. I remeber trying to go pee but people kept coming into the room and I would have to wait for them to leave. At one point I tried peeing in a trashcan and stopped myself cause I thought that was weird. Also some kind of bug/fairy being brushed against my face but I blew it away with a stream of air because I had been falling asleep to mosquitoes flyin around and I mistook it for that. It could ahve been a regular bug but it feels a little more significant then that. Away I went back to the room with everyone else and jokingly threw a pillow at my mom's current boyfriend's face who looiked like he was sleeping. When he woke up he had like multiple eyes it was really weird. I feel if that fairy was infact a fairy, it was telling me not to throw a pillow at his face. But I did so w/e thats in the past now. I do have some form of resentment for my mom's boyfriend. He isn't a mean guy or anything, probably just the typical Kid dpoesnt like new boyfriend kind of stuff but also I feel he has some deep seated issues which might hurt my mom.

I woke up fora bit after my mom's boyfriend (harvey) had those weird multiple eye things. I thought about it for a while and thought maybe that dream was connected to a different dream I had before but didn't/ don't have enough awareness right now to know for sure. Anyway I went back to sleep. I had a dream about my friend marco playing league of legends. He was saying something but I didnt understand. The scene actually started from the same area where i was before. The scene gradually got more intense, some kind of being was being fought off by good guys. I got really aware when some kind of intense energy wave was given off by this evil guy and knocked everyone down, including me. I was on the ground when someone who looked like this guy from league of legends but really tall, almost giant sized. He came with a wooden looking sword, executed someone in front of me on the fground with his sword at the neck and then came towards me. I felt like I was fainting but when he got close I found a sword next to me and put it in front of the wooden blade dflecting it from my neck. Everything went black and then I came back to awareness with the kassadin guy's sword snapping from the pressure and he fell down on the floor. I took my time to strike, leaped towards his neck, and cut his head off with my sword. i tried stabbing it but aprrently I had to actualyl slice the head off.


After that the main evil guy in the middle got up from being knocked down and started to attack again. We circled around him waiting to see what would happen. There were multiple fighters. I went around in front of him. He saw me and formed some kind of dimensional shield around his arm to shield himself fro mattacks. I had no weapon but decided to act as a decoy so my teammates could attack him. So I jump onto his shield while he tried to charge at me. I go some kind of dagger and stabbed him in the throat while my teammates got this really nice sharp but glorious looking spears and stabbed him fro mthe sides, around 3 people were holding each spear. He fell. Everyone gathered him into some kind of box and prepared a ritual to send him back to the source of all energy. Me or whoever I was percieving said " don't worry, you will be back, in some kind of form or another, blah blah blah.....judt kidding, I dont want to be an sshole, you'll be back though so dont worry." to the dead body in the coffin llooking thing, it contained the guy's power. He was in there apparently unconscious. The guys poured some kind of lquid on his face designed to help the body feel good as it is passed back into the source. When they did, he started smiling in euphoria. It was like he knew he was about to die but he was too weak to do anything, but also too delirious from the liquid to even think. Somebody asked me to help them hold the case up while he did some kind of ritual over the body. Apparently he tried to shake or something because his body flipped in the case and we almost dropped the coffin but it stayed held up. Then while I was helping holding the coffin I woke up. I felt decent, kind of strange. Decided not to go back to sleep. Went outside and meditated on balancing the two sides of my body. I did this by realizing the simple nature of this universe using sacred geomtry principles. When yo uare gorwing in your mother's fetuas, the first thing to be formed is your heart. From here, your tongue forms next, and then the rest of your body. In this fashion , I could see how my body, after millions of yeras of evolution through various water states and then finally coming onto land, (with the help of some et's) was formed from the designed of a space matrix which includes the various directions originating from the heart center. Fro mthe heart to your head. Heart to the base of your spine, Heart to the space in front of you and behind you, this is how yo uare connected to this specific matrix. If yo uwant to learn more about this I recommend meditating shapes in your mind's eye and what they reveal to you, and reading up on malchiezideck sacred geomtry books. Anyways ill be updating this blog, journal whenever I feel I should, thanks for reading.