squidnapping's journal

Go into ‘Nana’s house’, call for her but she seems to not be there, it’s dark, (it’s basically Kandy crescent house, but not fully,) I go around looking for something, but weird things start happening: in the dim light I can just see a chest of drawers come sliding down the hallway, and either it bumps into me or I kick it; I kick it and the drawers fly out. I call out “who’s there?”, “Nana?” and “stop it!” Soon I start to walk down hallway to leave, and more things happen, things just fly around, I might scream, I hear noises, and I might shout at them. I think I still ask about Nana; do I ask if she’s here, if she’s ok? I know I need to leave this house. Outside, I’m flying, and it soon occurs to me that I’m dreaming. I’m aware of this for a few seconds before I decide to actually stop what I’m doing and do what I want to do. Then I’m like, ok, be lucid, I’m lucid, and then I go down on the ground and I think of eating lettuce, a basic task of the month. I basically am on a mission now, I expect a fridge is where I’ll find lettuce so I find a house, actually I think I go back into the same house, but I am hoping it will look different to before, and it does. I go to the kitchen, open the fridge, on my way to there I'm sort of rushing, thinking I want to get it done fast before I lose focus and forget or wake up, but then the rushing means I’m not even experiencing everything I’m doing, so I force myself to slow down, and think about what I’m feeling and seeing as I open the fridge, hoping to kind of move at the same speed as my body, not letting it get ahead of me. I seem to remember seeing carrots, but don’t think I do anything with them. I decide to open a tub of margarine and scrape some up in my fingers, hoping I can smell and taste it strongly and be anchored more in the dream. I sniff it but can’t smell it, it barely has a scent. I give up, must somehow get the butter off my hands (I don’t remember, perhaps I just forget it’s there), and then look to find some lettuce; on the bottom shelf, on the left, see a lettuce, or a third of one, the bottom third, but it’s a lettuce nonetheless, I’m sure, not cabbage, and I pick it up and take a bite - suddenly outside again? - and I’m feeling pretty amazed and on top of the world because I just for the first time ever completed a task in the correct month and it feels good. I take another bite or two of the lettuce. It’s quite thin leaves, or the first was, but it still feels ok, not like rubbery or old. I don’t focus very much on the taste or texture. Then there’s something about Mum, and Adam? I think of other goals, there’s a person here and I try to think of a lucid goal involving them (though there might not really be any)? Expect I soon lose lucidity.
At like a little beach or lake, with my mother (maybe Jenn Husser from Claws) and others, I start to notice and get suspicious about part of the water, basically the part of the beach/shore next to a building the others are standing nearer to, so from where they are they can’t so much see it, but a few dogs are standing on the shore, maybe first just a couple and they’re barking, and also another person - Polly? nah maybe not - says something about it. I’m getting ahead of myself - I think first, I’m suspicious, but can’t prove anything to myself, and finally the other person points things out, points out the bones which confirm my suspicion that my mother/Jenn (if that’s who it is) killed her sister and this is where.
Ask Polly about other woman’s, my mother’s, sister, who died, if she knows anything about it; remember as I'm about to ask that it was Polly's sister who died; ask anyway, hoping I might still be right about that. Polly’s face changes a bit like she’s thinking about it and worried and then she quietly says ‘yes’, tells me about it? Or her telling me yes is enough for me. Then I go into the room, upstairs (?), and Polly comes too, and are we packing? Preparing to leave?