non-lucid

Waited too long to journal, almost everything is gone by now (noon), but I thought why not write that down anyways:

I was going across country, had some goal in mind to go to, but I forgot what that was.
But - the way led through a stall with pigs. And the guys working there and even me only traversing were rendered naked upon entrance, but not for any frivolities, but because one could afterwards easily get clean again by hosing down with a water tube.
Seemed entirely logical in the dream and the pigs were nice...

Another snippet - I went with a friend to a cafe and she found out they have a theater attached and also that taking part there, and generally going into theater would be her new goal in life and she went right ahead and started rehearsals with them.

Yepp - now I promised it mainly to myself in the title - and so I'm going to do it!
Helps me to announce things, makes me feel inconsequential and lazy, if I don't then.
Would be stupid to let it out for a third day after having gained wiiinx and even bonus ToTM after session #1.
This night it's going to be working an my dares again!
And no watching telly before going to bed...



Last night. Well.
I've been watching three episodes of Sherlock with my sick husband, who is meanwhile addicted to the series - same as I am.
Last one was The Hound of Baskerville - and believe it or not, me, who is usually so happy about reporting no classical nightmares - I had a nasty one. Several actually, after the below I had another one with an "unholy" creature.

The first was not directly connected to the episode, it was about aliens hiding in human bodies, and it was hard to discern who is who, and I was hunting them between them hunting me. What was great was that in one scene, I was swimming like a world-champion, faster and faster - and in another I was running after these aliens, hunting, and I was soo fast - was really like in a movie, where somebody is a superhero or something. Could have made me lucid, since I marvelled at my abilities and didn't produce an in-dream explanation, except that it was important to catch them before they would infest the world by breaking out of a research facility. The weird thing was, that I later on dreamt, I would be lying down to sleep, problem still not completely under control, but I did lie down for some reason, to rest. Then I dreamt, I would start getting nightmares and wanted to stop falling asleep, which didn't work. That was not at home, I fought against sleep in a side-room of a lab.
So what I was aware of was sleeping in a dream, believing that waking up would put me back in that side-room. So it wasn't lucidity as such, weird phenomenon...

Then suddenly I knew, I was in my room, and that my husband was in the room next door, and still I fought against sleep.
I got my eyes open, I think, but what I saw was a very threatening darkness with an inexplicably malign presence.
Man I was soo afraid, seriously terrified, I was feeling "sure", there were evil entities hidden in the darkness, viscerally sure.
I was sufficiently awake, that the idea of SP crossed my mind, but it didn't even help against the fear to finally intellectually understand, that it was indeed SP.

So then I tried moving, esp. shouting for my husband - with that I broke it after a little more terrified struggling.
I went to the toilet, and suddenly I thought it frightening, that he would never hear me, he doesn't hear me when I shout full out over in my room, once he's on his re-breather and sleeping.
I was somehow still feeling endangered by the rest of my sleep - reason didn't really help a lot, even when fully awake and in the light.

After calming down a bit - I thought okay - you've been "hoping" for SP when trying to WILD - so go ahead and try that.
I could stand it maybe only one minute. Closing my eyes and letting go brought this menacing "living" darkness back, I almost couldn't take it. And then that blasted Hound turned up - in the series it's a hallucinogen, which enhances imagination which produces the effect, one sees a monster in a real dog etc.
Well - it didn't help to know it was an illusion, that even the inspiration had been such. I put the light back on and wandered about a bit, before daring to lose waking consciousness again - all the while scolding myself for being irrational.
I can only shiver when I think of such an experience on the basis of actually believing in the supernatural, thank goodness I don't.
What a shame, if I were a bit less of a coward, I believe I could indeed have made a re-entry of some sort into that state, maybe because I was somehow still in REM mode.
Na well - as said, this is maximally unusual for me, maybe next time with some practice..?

But, but...

Anyway - nice demonstration that in a sleepy state, reason loses against instinct and with a vengeance.
And also nice demonstration, that knowing that I sleep in some sense, in a nightmare, and actively fighting for wakefulness does propel me into a "body still asleep" in SP. Makes sense.
Last time I had that in such an intensity was almost 20 years ago, trying to wake up from my first adult lucid dream/nightmare - other story. How come I was able to know, I was dreaming, but not in the least thinking about staying and doing something with it? Well - all that I wanted was getting the hell away and out of it as far as possible...

Soo - while I stupidly didn't yet sit down and do the meditation/visualisation/incubation - I've studied ~Dreamer~'s materials and started out with some "easy" things like RCing and dreamsign awareness and following her tips for recall and using her mantra in a mini WBTB.

And tadaa - first little lucid episode in two weeks!
So today I'll really sit down and take it seriously and take time for it!!

When waking up first time, I really kept still and eyes closed and so forth, like recommended, and such I have quite unusually a full dream from earlier in the night.

Singing for Obama

Obama was visiting Germany, and I was still in school. And the plan was to sing for him, me and another girl were on a platform in an amphitheatre and supposed to sing a duet.
Before us was another pair doing rehearsals, and all went well, but when the two of us stood there, the "technicians" to our sides let us down. It was because they didn't like us - but in the end, that came out and they got a row and we got to try it out and it went nicely. It was only in between clear that it also was only rehearsals and the theatre still empty.
Then they said we had a little time like in a school break before it started for real, and I was happy, thought I'd make it home to put on some make-up and other clothes. So I went, and I got there in seconds and with a little quibble with my mother as disturbance, managed to be happy with how I looked and wanted to get back there.
Of course the way was endlessly long and time running out and I tried quite desperately to run back there, it snowed and snow lay everywhere quite high. Then I managed to make a taxi stop, but it had another passenger and I had to fight with him verbally until he agreed to me getting dropped off first. Lots of running and hectic and despair - but somehow I managed it back on that platform and the theatre was full and Obama was there - and I woke up. No real singing for a real audience - na well.
Shame - maybe I could have recorded a bit of the melody upon waking again, if it had ended with the music...

Ugly fragment:

I was with the parents of my very first boyfriend, he wasn't there, but it was implied that we had an affair.
The mother was quite nasty to me - and I asked her, what she would say, if I told her we would be together again and in love (which we weren't). She totally flipped and told me how I was unworthy and why, and how she even would never ever let me look after his young brother, maybe 4 years old. His father sat on the sofa and was rather surprised by it all.
But it really, really hurt what she said to me.

Strange motorcycle and wasps and police:

First I was with a friend looking at her horses, and she promised me, I could ride with her soon. Then - and again it happens - then I was driving to Munich in order to get to exactly that flat from last night, the one with the aspiring porno-stars - I even dreamt a real address both nights.
But I came from outside of Munich and drove a totally weird motorcycle - I had to hold the front wheel between my feet and the handlebar wasn't connected to anything either. I've been explaining this to myself while driving and later on to a policeman, who helped me cross the autobahn with 6 lanes, because I missed an exit. Seemed all totally technically feasible - soo typical..
When I stopped with him for a chat, I had to constantly check for a bunch of wasps flying around and I made one angry, but we got around getting stung by playing dead. He told me about a case of his, and how a burglar he was hunting, was connected to a late terrorist attack and how proud he was to now work for counter-terrorism. But he didn't know the address, even while it's impossible to know Munich but not that place. Anyway - there are more such mini and banal things I remember, but I'm too lazy now...

My mini lucid moment:

Well - unfortunately I don't know, where this belongs. I think it was a different dream again, not the above mentioned stuff. Fact of the matter was, that I stumbled over something and fell. Like straight out - would have normally resulted in hitting the ground in full length, face first and hard.
But - I didn't. Hit the ground that is - I ended up hovering maybe 3 cm over the ground and looking at the pebbles.
Ah! This is a DREAM!!
Last I know is that I tried to airswim away from there, but it didn't work. My feet were dragging on the ground and I didn't manage to gain height. Somehow I must have lost lucidity then, because I can't remember anything after that.

This is soo encouraging - I didn't get lucid for a full two weeks and now after only a little bit of effort - tadaa!!
Thank you so much ~Dreamer~!!
Today sitting down and working on it properly it's going to be!

What a shame, the comp is over now - it was such great fun!! I can only hope, that I'll keep up the journalling further on...


Going for a final effort I wanted to achieve my first WILD per WBTB - nope, again not, I gave up after 25 min., rolled over and got a DILD in the following dream.

LD #1: I become lucid in a car-park - again I can't say, what did it, just like that. Nose-plug - yepp. I want to have a stable dream, before I do something, so I walk about doing as if nothing was, like I had before. Taking care not to interact with anything too closely, hehehe... Okay - next thing planned is my personal task, teleportation to an alien planet with meet and greet with the inhabitants. I do it by spinning very fast and imagining exotic landscape.
When I stop, I am indeed somewhere else and have really fine optics, but it's not exotic at all - I'm on a beautiful endless field of hip-high grass, but looks very much like earth, and nobody around. So I think - okay - this is another planet, because I say so, and proof will be the alien, I will summon. There's nothing, from behind which I could have her come around, so I try this thing with hand behind my back for the first time. But nothing happens, I try for a while and wake up then...

My very first teleportation ever!! Should have just put that as personal task - typical over-ambition biting me in the butt! But I'm very excited about it - there will be a lot of lucid spinning coming up!!

Dream #1: I'm back at the house - it gets on my nerves, in hindsight, but I'm always happy about finding it in the dream. Somebody else lived in the bungalow, and that was what we might get back, even while people have bought it. They made a hole in the front wall for a big door to the garden, behind it they had created a room, which you could use as a winter-garden. Whatever. The grass in the garden was over knee-high, and I wanted to get out the scythe for cutting it, but then came from the neighbouring house a guy on a mowing machine, sitting on it, driving it, and he did the job for me. When he was through, there were tons of dandelion plants, just the green stuff, and I went at them with some digging tool. Then a girl comes around, says hi - wants to play darts with me - well - of course!! But we don't have a board, we have some weird plastic thing, lying on the floor, and throw at that.

Dream #2: Theoretically I am at university, but turns out, I can't understand the stuff, and have to go back to school. I first think, this will be repeating the last class, but turns out they put me in 8th grade, and tried to not tell me about it. Well - yeah - not much worth of describing - it's about maths, what I didn't understand, and I tried to get books for that, and didn't help. I meet a friend from school, who does some boring job at the reception of a hostel, and think, naa - you got to go through with it, not to end up in a job like hers, but it's humiliating to be with the kids in a class. Yeah - last scene - I miss the bus despite running all out...

Dream #3: It has elements from the book I started at the moment 'The Bohr Maker' by Nagata Linda - great science fiction. It's about a nano-technologically modified guy, illegally so, and he tries to be allowed to be left living. He has something, which helps him breathe back his own oxygen continuously by using a sort of collar, which covers up his mouth and nose and ears, too. He's hiding in our flat from the police, and my husband comes up with the idea of feeding him into his computer, and then manifesting him as a cartoon-figure, which jumps off from the screen, looking like Super Mario, and maybe 15 cm of height. He's doing all these sounds and pirouettes and things, like in the video game. For some reason, this is allowed, and he's very happy.

Fragment #1: I said not long ago, I wouldn't dream of posting - since then, I do! Yeah - about the dangers of lucidity - I forgot, what somebody saw as a problem, and who all posted replies to that...

Fragment #2: On my way home, and again, there's another way, which I am sure, I saw before in another dream, but which doesn't exist.

WBTB with alarm and (hence?) no recall - no lucid - but a very vivid dream again, and it took ages. Really ages.


Dream #1: I need a job, like a fast side-job, and got one as helper for a ballet-dancer while they were training and practising for a show. It was a huge production, I wasn't a dancer, but doing her stretching with her, or on her and doing all sorts of stuff for her - carrying her water, basically. It was very interesting - she was incredibly hard on herself at times, one of the choreographers found a bruise on her lower leg, and asked me, if I did that - and I couldn't remember anything - then she asked the dancer, who tried to evade, but in the end it had been me, and she hadn't told me, how it had hurt.
There was a later scene, where I overheard a sick dancer, she said appendix and then something on top of it, pleading with her helper to go on with it, who was of the opinion, that she can't possibly train in her state, she had a hugely swollen abdomen. There were a couple other helpers as well and we were also sitting about and watching, partly. Initially this was to be something for a religious ceremony, but in the end it was a big film-production, where they were the ballet or even more, it was about them, like a musical, maybe? I just missed out on seeing a celebrity make himself known, having sat in the audience of the otherwise almost empty theatre and giving compliments - I wanted to see, who it was, but couldn't leave what I was doing...
But while it was still religious, something disgusting in my view happened - I didn't see where it came from, but somebody put a very little piece of skin into a sort of complicated little shrine with strings around it in a certain pattern and hooks and hoops, and it was supposed to have something to do with circumcision. I suspected it was just some skin, but something came over me, and I opened that up, threw the skin away and tried to get it back together again, which I didn't manage. But I pretended it was a mishap, having opened it, and just got a row on that - but didn't get fired. He found the piece of skin on the floor and put it back in.
One funny scene had another choreographer come in late and saying she had to, because the rest of the catholic drug-addict support would only expect junkies from 2 pm onwards, while in truth they are out early mornings and she had to do her own Christian best instead. Nobody was angry - even while the whole thing was very edgy, very professional.
Not so funny scene had me remember that my mother had stormed off from a conflict and failed to reappear for a meanwhile long time already, and I search and search my telephone in the changing room, planning to ring my half-sister (why her?) - but then decide that I can do exactly nothing now, others are on it at the moment.

Na - that must be enough now.

Fragment #1: Again about this house, and about how there would be a financial crisis in Germany, and everybody having real estate would be well off, everybody selling stupid - man - can I not let loose on this finally - fuuing uncon - get a grip on yourself and move on!!

I'm going to bed now - shamefully neglected to journal my two dreams up to now. Anyway - I made recordings of the hypnosis intro and the recall and lucidity chapters and wake up all separately and guess, I'll go with listening to it for the remaining nights.

I made some sparse comments on tape - this is what is left:

Dream #1: Following the plot-line - sort of - and having characters of 'The Wire', an HBO series - drug dealers in Baltimore and police, politics and press, I'm politics... We're through now, watching it - and besides that somebody going "yo nigger" turned up in my TOTM basic "repeat day", I didn't dream of it, even while watching it at bedtime, half on my husband's pleadings - often kept me off doing LD stuff.

Dream #2: Same sort of thing, in a way - and a rare thing that I dream of posting - but seems from what I dictated that I debated something with somebody on my atheism thread - details? Sorry, not any more...

What a completely crazy night!!
I wonder if I might sometimes really forget these things - or it's an absolute new one: four lucid episodes - I kid you not!!
I did a WBTB relatively early in the night - after hardly four hours.
They were all reasonably long, even if I didn't get something done, not overly much. But I went about stabilizing exercises - and sometimes to good effects!
Recall was excellent again directly upon waking - but I didn't dictate in between and so former normal dreams are lost, which I did have upon middle of night waking.
Oh - edit: And what is really funny - I was pretty tipsy if not drunk upon falling into bed - friend of mine had been coming around for playing darts, and drinking is somewhat traditional, at least I indulged in it despite expecting negative effects on dreaming - nope!


LD #1: I get lucid out of the blue, while looking at an intricately patterned curtain, do a nose-plug and yepp - lucid. Thinking of the last one, I do as if nothing was and walk out of the building. It is a pretty lucid - not of otherworldly shine and beauty - but compared with what I often have - half dark and visual troubles of some sort, something dissolving when I look at it - it's really good. So I decide this is going to be it - walking about and looking for a while. I remembered the comp, but didn't care - what counted for me was keep stuff as is and not endanger it with being ambitious.

It's not a DEILD-chaining, the next one - but I woke up drank a sip of lemonade and rolled back on over and start to dream normally and then

LD #2: Almost directly after starting to dream, I notice it again and do the nose-plug. This time, I think 5 senses - again not comp, really - I just want it fully realistic. So I look about, which again works nicely enough, if nothing special, and I hear things and then I go to a cabinet and smell it - doesn't smell - so I take a bite - tastes like rice-crispies or something, makes crackling noises as well. Then - mistake - I pat myself down and the cabinet, which leads to an absurd attraction - I have to admit it - I get "involved" with said cabinet and wake up in the process - dayam - don't even need people for this sort of mishap...

Then there was a regular dream or anyways more time in between and then:

LD #3: Meanwhile I think - heey - wow - lucid again!! No dreamsign and no RC needed to find out - it's simply obvious within, that it is again a dream. I dutifully do a nose-plug for the point, and this time I want to do something for the comp. But I was too stupid to in the middle of the night or the evening before incubate something, definitively not expecting even more lucids. So I stand there and remember parts of the long lists of dream-control stuff to do - and nothing takes my fancy. Forgot my rest of the 3-stepper completely, and my personal task - so I think I try telekinesis again, because that wasn't easy, but did work. I try it with different things - with a stool first, and it doesn't move - with a cushion - and it also doesn't move. I remember the leaves then, and that I had waved my arms about wildly in front of a heap of them (but from a distance). So I do that again, with the cushion, shout at it, too - and it levitates a bit, ruffling about in itself, but it's not exactly satisfactory - and I wake up.

Similar like the first couple - I don't stay still or fall asleep instantly again - but right in the next dream I get lucid again.

LD #4: This time I had reminded myself of the superflight stuff still being open, do an RC and take to the air from standing, which was satisfying, a bit with imagining gravity reversing for me and with the usual swimming thing as a means to direct the path - but - I lose optics and wake up. I guess it's good to stay on ground for a while for stability's sake...

Dream #1: A story with my ex-boyfriend, and the flat from last night played a role as well - he was totally over-tired after having worked through more than 24 h, and I put him in my bed in the flat from last night, the one originally belonging to my gay friend there. I could write more, but I hope this is enough for now - no - nothing happened in that bed, at least not that I remember, I just put him there to sleep.
Edit: And I mentioned the details because of the in-dream-remembering of a prior dream element, which I find to be a curious phenomenon. Some features even seem to take on a sort of life of their own in dream-land, become a fixture, almost...
Na - the story was more of me convincing him to stop working finally and give over to somebody else and come rest somewhere. Now upon editing much of it is lost, and I'm not even sure, if it's true, that I woke up, when he fell asleep, more or less..? Whatever.

Dream #2: Horrible nightmare - birthday party for me supposedly, with family, and an ex-stepfather of mine is there, plus a supposed new one with my mother, my grandmother, my real father with my two half-siblings and a couple of others. It's a hate-fest, lets say it so - my mother and her (ex-) partners are positively mean to me and each other, my father sits there perplexed and half amused, half taken aback. I get quite angry, try to hold it down and not explode. I know if I do, they will demolish me, expecting it, baiting me.
After a while I jump up from the table and say to my brother and sister - lets go mountain-hiking - which we do. We've been in an open air restaurant directly in the mountains - they are relieved and happy to get away from it, too. So does my father - he leaves as well.
There's a funny scene with a little girl showing us the way, maybe 4 years and in traditional dress, but with shining orange eyes - like an evil sprite - but we know, she wants no bad - she's just too fast for us - jumping like a mountain-goat from stone to stone, so she disappears in front of us. We're hiking, and it has several scenes, but finally we come back down to that party. Still everybody is there, my father is back, and still people are insulting and reproaching each other, but they happily turn their attention back on me again, too much recall for my liking...
I woke up in a huge sweat from that - the last scene was my mother holding my hands tight in hers, and I knew, if I wanted to get away, I'd have to break hers, or mine, or both our bones. I wake up before anything breaks, while still straining and trying to figure out what to do.

I almost never have a proper nightmare with some sort of monster or danger or something - I believe I journalled only around three of such a tendency over my whole time on DV. Oh - and one monster I remember now was a "horror-rabbit" in black with red eyes - not even overly big - but one sinister rodent that was - it needed only look at me to curdle the blood in my veins...
My nightmares tend to be of a social kind, if I have them, which is luckily also rather rare - but that was one!!



Fragment #1: Trying to find my glass with dry red-wine back, there are lots on the table, but all have sweet wine and belong to somebody else - I don't find it, but people get pissed off because of me touching their glasses and leaving prints. Not that I tried their wine - nope - dirtied their glasses...

Fragment #2: My grandmother in hospital, very sick...

I didn't tell about the second hypno-session I did, because I had included recall, and was graced with the worst recall of the comp the following night - but knowing as it usually takes a day or two to seemingly do something - I have to consider it has to do with now having one of the best recalls of the comp. Maybe not many more points - but the dream from which I woke up at last is so clear - I could write 2/3 pages about it, with all sorts of details. So much that I feel like procrastinating on it and hope, I won't for so long as to forget again.

Dream #1: With two women, I know, and we are in preparation for a theatre show, getting into costume and make-up - and there's an obviously gay guy doing the ironing of a dress for me, and leaves the iron on too long and ruins it. He gets told off anyway - but I get a bit hysterical and holler at him - well - then everybody hates me, and I have to fall all over myself to apologize, the others are angry, he not so much. Actually he takes me to the side, and asks if I would like to take part in his pornography project. He gets out a smart-phone and shows me what he has in mind. I did dictate this dream - but I dictated - naa - won't describe this now, not that I don't delete it...
As I thought - I still see it all in my inner eye - two guys, one woman and hopefully red paint. I'll leave the rest up to your dirty imagination.
Ah - but that was it - don't know, how this would have gone on - but it didn't.

Dream #2: I find on the street a very expensive but ugly looking watch and think about if I should just sell it or try to find the owner and maybe get a bit of money for bringing it back. There's a jewellery/watch shop directly on the corner. A friend tells me, I should bring it back, rather, and I do. When we bring it in, it is suddenly something else, something which unfolds and then is a funk receiver or something other secret-service like. They let it disappear instantly and we don't get money for our niceness, are supposed to leave - so the friend of mine steals another three watches. But when we look at them - they neither have special effects, nor do they look valuable. Tough luck...

Dream #3: The old motive of moving into a flat - this time one with four rooms and four people already living there, but nobody seems to mind this, including me. It's set in a certain city, where I used to live for a while, and I can describe the house - something turn of last before last century, one side going out to the right middle of the city, the other side to the river, and there's a garden in front of that side. It's strange - on our level, like a balcony, second story. And in one scene I climb out the window to remove the excess snow there so we can see the river, and get stuck, and somebody has to rescue me from there. Then there is an older woman, maybe in her 50s, a bit on the crazy artist/late onset hippiness side, and she has a dog, which manifests out of a toy, hanging on the wall, and likes me a bit too much, won't leave my side. Also she loves knitted blankets and they are everywhere. There's the young gay guy from the prior dream there as well, with a depressed ex-boyfriend hanging out around him, to his displeasure, and another two woman live there. Most is about getting to know each other, showing each other things, like the toys, one woman creates and sells - nice little plastic figurines, which also form a puzzle for example. I tell them I will plant some datura stramonium on the balcony and they really love the idea! I have lots more little scenes - like me testing the sink, and finding it is not meant as kitchen sink, but some sort of old-style appliance, which nobody knows the original purpose of, and while trying to make coffee, I get to cleaning out the place, and it's not nice - in some sort of sieve I find what looks like rotting worms - I won't go further - but I know, how every cup and thing looked like, smelled etc. The gay guy was later wondering, if I might not be a man after all because he liked me - but nothing much comes of it. I'll stop it here - not patient enough.

Not that I gathered many points - but I gathered lucid time, for my meagre standards quite a lot of time, even.
Did a WBTB, but again a short one, and not like planned...

LD #1: I was standing in the atrium of a house, maybe 3 stories high, looked like an office-building, I don't know how I got there. But looking down the hall - it just simply struck me, that it was a dream. Forgot to RC, but did that later on. What was on my mind first, was that Maxis had lucid dared me to die and survive it like a proper cat should be able to do. But what I did first wasn't trying something fancy, nor going after my 5 senses, since I ended up in the void by interrupting what I was doing before and especially upon lacking input from a sense, I search. So I slowly walked out of the building, as if nothing had happened. And that was a good idea, when I came out, the dream had nicely stabilized.

The idea had been to transform into a cat and then let myself get hit by a lightning strike. Somehow I had the feeling that I'm not up to full transformation, didn't dare try - and since I could also die and survive something as a human - I started weather-witching instead and conjured up rain and storm and darkness - but lightning eluded me. I was a bit afraid then if I'd get anything done and went flying - by jumping from a high cliff into something like a canyon. The plan was my 3-stepper super flight, into which I wanted to switch while in the sky, and maybe catch a deadly lightning strike under way. But - soo stupid - I suddenly had such an urge for the toilet, that it disturbed my air-swimming. Soo - what now, I think in mid-flight, and wanting to get something out of this LD in the last seconds, I grab my right eye, see if I can rip it out for the TOTM. Well I do - but not really - it stays on it's optic nerve, I get it out maybe 20 cm and then it bounces back in. No pain - no spectacular visual effects, either - but it feels slimy. Now reading back - I should have examined it further - what I can say, is that I saw it with my other eye, as a dark ball. Before I could go on and land somewhere and maybe cut it off with something, I felt I had to go so urgently, I woke myself up. And of course - nope - I didn't need a toilet irl - this happened several times before. Need to remember that once and for all - maybe stop moving my dream-body or just letting it go...

Dream #1: It's back - the old house. This time, though, it had been ripped down except for a small part, and all the place around it had been sold and integrated into city-buildings on one side, on the other was some garden left. I was very happy to be there, to know it exists, but later on I found out that even that last bastion had been sold, and there was a party with the new owners moving in suddenly appearing in my and a friend's living there. We were just living there, and they came in all dressed fancily and with champagne glasses, we had to first find out what they wanted, I couldn't believe it nor accept it, but I had to in the end...

Fragment #1: A woman stands at a table and wants to demonstrate something, takes her fingers and does as if it was a touch-screen and she would make the picture bigger. It screeched like hell, but that supposedly belonged to the new technology, where you could use anything as a monitor.

I guess I know exactly where this is coming from - Sivason and the wet oil painting thing, which I mentioned yesterday...

Fragment #2: Washing dishes...

Fragment #3: A kid with a sick guinea pig, and I don't want to check it, because I'm afraid it bites, looking somewhat sinister

Fragment #4: In a coffee shop, looking at the lots of cakes


Again didn't dictate something - hence the fragmentation...
And I try to keep that up - just pretending nothing would have happened upon lucidity, taking it slowly - that was good.

Shame I start only now, when most of it is forgotten. But the lucid was just a mini-moment again - since I RCed - I count it for the comp, but not for my LD-count.

LD #1: Getting lucid at the end of a dream, in a garden, doing a nose-pinch afterwards. Sorry for the unspectacularness of it all...

Going to do a longer WBTB tonight, and really think about how to DEILD.

Dream #1: Also with a garden, but that was not the same dream, it was behind a building I worked in and I went exploring it. I was in search for the cafeteria, and chanced upon it. With some of my beloved ruins to climb through...
The story was about a huge building-complex and me new there to work. But the garden was good!

Fragment #1: At a party with some people I didn't see in ages.

I always seemed to dream more about people from the past - even in that past - like not of my boyfriend, but of before ones, but going on - so not because of me wanting somebody old back or something. Same with friends.
Anyway - I had so much more upon waking - but was frustrated by again just a hunch of an LD - very...

I'm a bit disappointed - did my session and included the recall section - and - am graced with maybe the worst recall of the comp and no lucid..
A WBTB with trying to WILD, only very shortly, though - didn't bring me nowhere either.

Na well - I will cobble together one dream at least and three fragments a bit later on.

No hypnosis - husband persuaded me again to watch two episodes and so on, until I was really too exhausted, very late in bed - 2:30 am to be precise. No WBTB - buut - a short lucid episode with doing nothing whatsoever... Damn.

LD #1: At the very end of dream #2, I gain the insight, that I am dreaming, look around, do a nose-pinch - and wake up, without the trace of a thought about DEILDing back in. This night will be dedicated to the comp, not to what my husband wants in the middle of the night!!

Dream #1: In a deserted former shopping-mall - half in ruins, with some male friends and they chance upon an electrics/electronics shop with loads of to me unidentifiable hard-drive like stuff and plates, these green ones with stuff soldered on and connectors and all sorts of things. Just lying on the floor, huge chaos, the whole place. They are very happy and collect their spoils in bags. We go further, and there's light in one empty compartment, and smoky glass doors opening and closing on their own, which irritates us a bit. In the end - exploring a commercial ruin - no dresses this time. Again I wouldn't remember this now, if I hadn't dictated a little bit about it upon waking for the first time.

Dream #2: Again on my way to this place with lake. But it's different - this time for example I discuss with somebody, how one could build a ship, which can also operate on the ice and take the waterway. And the nature and general optics are not as sweet as last time. I visit a little hut, squatted by a friend of mine - well lets say a former crush of mine and some friendly up to erotic activities ensue, not full out, though. I then go visit my husband and three more guys staying with him together with this ex-crush - and not that this happens irl or often in my dreams - it ends up in the beginnings of an orgy - and I get lucid, see above, but wake up.

Fragment #1: Coming out of a changing room, where I put on work-clothes - at least so I thought, but I find myself without a shirt or anything above waistline in terms of clothes when in the hallway - this could have so easily tipped me off, but didn't. I just swooped back in to try again..

Fragment #2: I see an ex-boyfriend of mine sitting in a room and looking at a broken part of a big kaleidoscope, I had given him for present a long time ago, he seems sad.

I'm very happy I did all the things, I announced in my last entry - and - it worked!! So that's two comp LDs, one the day after and this time directly the night after my hypno-session. Going by what that rather botched "research-experiment" was asking of us a while ago, I might do it every night now for the rest of the comp!
WBTB with a bit of haphazard WILD attempting lead to a DILD - my most successful method, actually. Just I sort of lost the belief it will actually lead me to a WILD one day...

LD #1: Again from being in a forest I had the impression, something wasn't properly real optically, without a dream-sign as such. This is rare. Gets more unusual - with lucidity I didn't only not lose optics or respective quality - nope - everything got brilliant, had a dreamy shine of beauty about it! Sweeet! So I enjoyed this on a clearing - birds swooping about and chirping, really beautiful! Nose pinch for reasons of counting it as RC, I knew it. Then to the three-stepper - hand through tree - no problem - went in, and a bit of smoke or something came out at the entry point - no heat, though, just some weird special effect. I didn't feel anything inside - as if it was hollow - and coming back out produced the feeling of breaking an elastic membrane. But the tree stayed intact - so I suppose that counts.
Next thing - telekinesis. There wasn't much there to do it on - and it wasn't easy, either. First I tried with a stone, but gave up and used a small heap of leafs instead. I wonder - but I guess it counts that I have made them fly up and swirl about in a spiral. Made me proud no end! Next time something heavier! In a way it's gravity/element manipulation as well, isn't it? I'll say it was telekinesis! Then I couldn't remember the last one (advanced flying) but got the right idea at least and went flying around a bit - but clumsily with my air-swimming.
Sounded different in my post in the comp. thread maybe - but I didn't think of fighting and conjuring DV members in the first place...

In a way - air-swimming is exactly the kind of comfy sight-seeing-friendly slow flight method I prefer through beautiful landscapes! Aiming at getting somewhere makes it instantaneous with the other stuff, often. Yupp - and lost lucidity, dreamt on normally.

Furthermore I got two dreams and two fragments - and I pray to a non-existing god to help me in that I will journal them later and not let laziness get the better of me, now I know, I could also leave it be. No I will do it - but it's so fantastic on the forum in the moment - so much to read and answer to and enjoy - could spend all day on here - got to find some time for living at the side!


Edit: worked, obviously, but not well. Next night with better dictates, and also in the morning - again lots of stuff lost due to suboptimal handling...

Dream #1: On my way to the place in Bavaria where I grew up for holidays. I'm driving, and it's winter, very beautiful scenery. And I come across a bridge, of which in the dream I was convinced, that I knew it, had been there before. Like a beacon about how I could get there, because I had lost my way. There was soo much more, and I have a load of beautiful, nostalgic nature pictures from it, but the main strain was really having troubles in getting there. But get there I did, and when I reached the lake and went out, somebody came towards me from over the frozen waters - a man, I had never seen before, and very friendly and inviting. Then the dream ended, I believe, I woke up from that. Most of it was being on the way...

Dream #2: Now this one I did completely forget, dictated at 6:18 am, I sleep in atm - and now listened to at 19:40 pm. I understand only about half of it - lots of scenic noises, like me blowing my nose - and lots of well recorded stuff, from an audio standpoint - but totally mumbled. Need to not try using English, when half asleep - doesn't work...
Seems I have been communicating with a Muslim per writing on the internet. I also read 'God Is Not Great' by the late Christopher Hitchens at the moment, surely inspired this, as well as my atheism thread. Anyways - seems I was on about, that claims about peacefulness and something I called, now cryptically to me, "going forward continuously". I proposed there would be jumps in it, but I have no idea which ones or what I meant in general. Communication went back and forth, though, and for a while - so this is a dream.

Fragment #1: I meet somebody in a forest, who makes sculpture from thin sheets of tree-trunks.

Fragment #2: At a concert, and somebody has trouble with somebody else - a shouting fight

Late to bed after watching two episodes of a series, drinking a bit of alcohol and then, I didn't do something on going to bed. Upon waking up naturally, I wasn't willing to properly WBTB. Had done some simple RCs yesterday, at least.
Today later I plan one more hypnosis session and I did two, and hope for more extended RCs with pretending to be lucid and what to do then. I will also put an alarm for WBTB, not to "decide" about it on the spot (the wrong way...).
My I-Phone is loaded for dictation in the night and morning, too.


Dream #1: That's the one, from which I woke up - the one, which was clearly there, when waking up in the middle of the night is gone by now. After talking about it yesterday in my DJ and making said thread - tadaa - I was "shopping dress ideas" again (irl I didn't buy new clothes or anything like it for a long while). And shoes - seriously out of my reach - there are people, who have a shoemaker doing stuff to their specifications. Hm - hehe - how to get famous and rich?
Well - anyway - it had the so often present small difficulties along the way, including a toilet, and there was more to it, but what I have seems "dream-worthy".


Fragment #1: I drive a car, going backwards around a corner upwards to park it into not much space. Worked.

Fragment #2: With my grandmother in our old garden, planting hyacinths.

Fragment #3: In a restaurant, and a woman, I know from former work, and didn't like her, was the waitress and it was awkward.

Not a good night - went to bed late, didn't do a WBTB, no lucids. And I lost recall for a dream I really liked and which I remembered very well, when waking up in the middle of the night, but I was so stupid to expect, I would still remember it in the morning - nope.
I'll tinker with this post over the day - maybe some more recall will come back to me.

Dream #1: I was visiting a friend of mine in another city, and met her and a colleague of hers after they finished work, we then went to a flat, where yet another woman lived, and she had visitors. One of them was such a cute and sweet guy - he went around inviting people to a party he was about to throw that night. Came to me, too, and invited me, without knowing me. Instant crush! *sigh*. The friend of my friend was not so pleased about that - I think, she had an eye on him as well - everybody left to maybe meet again later there. I stayed with this woman living there, and she told me about how she would be so shy and how also the people with whom she talked would behave awkwardly because of it. She had a problem with her leg, it was swollen a lot, and the guy was supposedly her doctor and she called him to come back. But it wasn't him coming but somebody else, and she had put herself in the bathtub and looked gorgeous - grey mouse to photo-model transformation - but for some reason she was in the water with all her clothes - a red cocktail dress actually.
Yeah - maybe I went to that party - but that's all I remember - was a longish thing, though, with several scenes.

Dream #2: This was a half real, half internet discussion about atheism - partly I could talk with people in youtube videos - Christopher Hitchens among them, partly I was typing, and after waking up I could have reproduced more of the content, still. Besides the talking to youtube people a quite realistic one. What I remember is the (good) argument, that Jesus was a real person, because of the inconsistencies in the story, that it isn't streamlined enough to be a total fabrication - like where he was born (Nazareth/Bethlehem) and "only" having women as witnesses for the empty tomb etc. And that Hitchens brought his classical "celestial North Korea" line.
I spend too much time with this topic - but not even yesterday...

Fragment #1: I met one of my former professors and he offered me a job.

Fragment #2: A quarrel with my mother about a dog