Suena

I better type this up while it's fairly fresh in my mind. I laid down to nap, originally planning on just sleeping, but I don't think I CAN sleep during the day anymore. What I mean is, every time I want to rest or nap during the day, I end up lucid dreaming. And, that's cool, but it kind of sucks that I can't just have some regular sleep. If anyone has any idea about what's up with that, then please PM me or comment.

These lucid naps are pretty much always wake-initiated. I closed my eyes and pushed everything out of my mind. I realized that it was likely I was going to become lucid, so I decided to think of where I wanted to be... somewhere peaceful, like a beach. So I kept pushing thoughts from my mind and kept the beach at bay, so to speak. It seriously took like 10 seconds of keeping a clear mind before the outlines of waves and a beach began to form. At first it was like a little kid's drawing, but it started to become more vivid and three dimensional. However, before it got any color, I noticed fins in the water. D: The scene had been corrupted. (I am terrified of the ocean and sharks are the #1 reason). So, thanks, mind.

So I started to picture somewhere else and unfortunately I ended up at my job. Part of the time I was lucid, and partly not. It was like I kept forgetting that I was lucid, but I could remember that today was my day off, which it is, so I wasn't actually working, but just going around mingling with people. The significant part of this whole napping session was a guy I used to go to school with. I was always a little mean to him because he was kind of arrogant, thought he was hot, and funny, and always hit on me. anyway... I saw him in my dream, and he wasn't speaking to me, the way people who don't like each other don't, and I was lucid, so I just stared at him for a while. And he looked so real, like down to the last freckle, which I wouldn't know about, but there was just so much detail in his face. And he finally made eye contact with me and when he did, I sincerely apologized. I didn't say what for, I just said.. I am sorry and I maintained that eye contact. This DC recognized my sincerity and appeared to be touched. He smiled, but quickly his eyes morphed into demonic black almonds. Which freaked me out, so I woke up. This was like somewhere in the middle of this nap session.

The reason I say session is that I woke up several times. At one point, I literally had one eye open, although I suppose both were actually open, but I was seeing into my actual waking world, and also into the dream world. However, this could have just been an entire dream, but it felt very real, like yes, lucid dreams feel real, but when you're actually awake (at least most of us) you can see the difference, can't you? I can.

I believe I can anyway. I felt exactly like I do now, typing this, but I was also dreaming full on with my other eye. Isn't that crazy! It was also happening with my ears. In my left ear, I could hear my son's rain sound maker and in the other I was listening to people talk in my dream. I don't know. It's crazy.

It's so weird how dream characters are supposed to be simply our own projections, but at the same time, they seem like individuals with their own consciousness. I hate it when I tell a DC that this is all a dream anyway and it doesn't matter, and they look at me like I discovered some super secret and now they're gonna kill me. Anyone else feel that?

Alright. That's that for today.