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    Lucid Dreams

    1. The Relative Experiment

      by , 09-19-2021 at 11:45 PM
      Date: 15/09/2021
      Bedtime: 2.45am
      Awakening: 7.15am
      Return to bed: 9.15am
      Method of entry: dream consciousness
      Awakening: 11.30am
      Attempt: successful
      Phase experience: The Relative Experiment
      Duration: 55 seconds

      WAKING STATE

      I return home from a school run with a strong intention to enter the phase state and carry out the experiment set by Project Elijah. I feel too awake when I lie down on my back so I decide to relax and meditate.

      PHASE STATE

      I am resting on my side with my eyes shut and hear a male 'radio' voice in my head. It's reassuring me that together we can overcome any problems and ended with, 'Don't worry, I'm always here if you need me ... I've got your back.' I feel like I have discovered a strong ally from my subconscious and take the voice seriously enough as a possible helper that I might wish to summon in the future. As I remain still, pondering about the nature of my own mind, I fall asleep.

      DREAM STATE

      Me and my wife are in the back of a red convertible, speeding down a motorway under sunny weather and facing the rear end of the vehicle as we watch a long stretch of road from our backseats. Our chauffeur, who seems to be a good driver, is unknown. Suddenly, I notice a naked man holding on to the side of the car. I leap in his direction and, fearing he might be trying to hijack our ride, attempt to kick him off it. The nude character proves to be quite agile and swiftly jumps to the bonnet and holds on for dear life. I begin to cautiously approach the miscreant in the hope that I might be able to strike him but this one moves to the driver's side. He holds on to the side mirror and struggles with the driver; wasting no time, I come to the rescue, managing to push him off the vehicle as it grinds to a halt with sirens growing louder.

      The police is right behind us and the naked outlaw makes a dash for a barn on the side of the road in order to hide. 'There he is!' I yell at the cops as I give chase so as to not lose sight of the fugitive. I enter the barn and glimpse him escaping through a gap in the next splintered wall. Rushing to the gap, I break loose planks of wood in order to widen it and become astonished at the rustic vista beyond as I practically stand on the edge of a gully. 'Where did he go?' I look down and see a river shimmering in the sunlight. 'Am I dreaming?'

      PHASE STATE

      I plunge into the river from a great height without any regard for safety as I know I'm dreaming. The water feels just right. When I resurface and begin to swim along the steep riverbank, I notice that the scenery has turned into a vibrant, picturesque village. The riverbank is now a row of buildings and I leap out of the water to grip the plastic sill of a third-floor window, climbing upwards and turning my head to behold the rest of my surroundings and knowing that I am supposed to do something for Project Elijah. That's it! This is my opportunity to encounter my deceased mother-in-law Sandra and communicate with her for 'The Relative Experiment'. I glide away from the windowsill as I make out a building that stands out from the rest: it's an impressive black silo, clearly cylindrical and wide enough to remind me of a giant bin, but majestically adorned with gold-plated lines and a cross. The entrance is guarded by the figure of a black man wearing a cassock and I immediately take the structure to be a church.

      'That's where I'll find Sandra! She's inside the church!' I go over the priest's head and fly all the way to the top of the silo, revealing it to be open and offering me direct access to its interior. I gradually descend to find myself landing between rows of pews and an altar, next to which is an open coffin. I hear the unmistakable coughing of my mother-in-law and witness her figure sit up from the ebony casket. Despite her strikingly realistic form, I am not scared even if a part of me emotionally entertains the possibility that I might be in the presence of Sandra's spirit. In fact, I want it to be her, but I also want to know exactly what I'm dealing with here. She looks and sounds so real! Her trim silver hair, her facial features and her familiar voice are on the money! She is well groomed, sporting a silky blue shirt and her frame is strong and healthy—contrasting her gaunt appearance in her final days. She seems distressed as she coughs and appears to be clearing her throat. When she is done, she looks up and bursts into tears before we have an emotional cuddle and sit next to each other by the altar to engage in the following conversation containing the questions I had planned beforehand ...

      Sandra: 'What took you so long?'
      Me: 'I'm here! How can I make Stacey happier?'
      Sandra: 'Look after my girl!'
      Me: 'I will, no worries. So ... What is your afterlife like?'
      Sandra: (Cheerfully) 'Oooh, I've been to the moon! I've been to marvelous places! I can go anywhere! I've got mushrooms ...'
      Me: (excitedly thinking of magic mushrooms and that Sandra might show me what she experienced via psychedelics) 'What? Let's take them!'
      Sandra: 'Come, come!'

      She gets up and takes my hand, leading me towards a doorway revealing another room with a few people gathering around a banquet characterised by a lot of fruit. Before I can enter the room with Sandra, I wake up unexpectedly.

      WAKING STATE

      I dash off key observations about my lucid dream and reflect on the experience. It is not the first time I meet Sandra, or deceased loved ones for that matter, in the phase state, but it is always an intense and emotional experience. Seeing and talking to them fills me with joy and I always act as though it is really them. Deep down, I want such figures to really be them and not mere products of my mind.

      In hindsight, Sandra answered my first question regarding my wife as I imagine she would. Undoubtedly, my mother-in-law would want me to look after her daughter in her absence from the realm of the living. To the second question, Sandra replied in a manner giving a strong impression that I was really engaged in a dialogue with myself. I didn't realise it at the time, but, retrospectively, the fact that my mother-in-law said she had been to the moon coincides with my original plan to meet her, which was, 'Fly to the moon and find Sandra there.' And affirming her ability to go to marvelous places and anywhere she wants parallels my attitude to lucid dreaming and its possibilities.

      The very first thing Sandra said to me in this experience, which was ask what took me so long to meet her, can tellingly reflect my internal dialogue after finally manifesting the conditions in which to execute this experiment. The mention of 'mushrooms'—which I instantly took to be the fungal growths containing psilocybin—in the reply to the afterlife question also seems out of character for the real Sandra and more pertinent to my own experience with psychedelics in my twenties. I often imagine deathbed visions to be akin to psychedelic trips brought about by the release of endorphins!

      Nevertheless, there is a desire to believe that such experiences are encounters with the spirits of loved ones who passed away. Deep down, with all the emotions that this experience brought forth, I reluctantly refuse to dismiss, altogether, a scenario where I have communed with the real Sandra—who had access to personal memories of experimenting with magic mushrooms and used it to convey to me what her afterlife has been like—however improbable it is.
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    2. Plan of Action during the Pandemic

      by , 12-19-2020 at 10:46 PM
      How is everybody using their lucid dreaming practice during this pandemic? I have recently come up with a plan of action consisting of three steps:

      1. Visit the world of Minecraft by plunging into the telly screen while my son plays the game.

      2. Visit and explore Saturn's moon Titan and fly towards the Milky Way galaxy centre.

      3. Summon Dean, a wise 'cave caretaker' I met in a previous lucid dream.

      Here is the first lucid dream I had since writing down this plan:

      Date: 17/12/2020
      Method of entry: dream consciousness
      Bedtime: 1am
      Awakening: 6.45am
      Return to bed: 7am
      Awakening: 8.25am
      Attempt: successful
      Phase experience: Libby and Beano

      REM sleep having returned to bed around 7am is characterised by vivid dreaming displaying cues about the illusory nature of my experience: moving house during a pandemic (never); smoking (I quit months ago); being excited about finding a couple of bags of cannabis on the floor (I'm done with its recreational use); organising a housewarming (out of my mind in a silly dream state).

      I go to bed (mattress on the floor) with my wife in this strange new house. I hear footsteps and my youngest son opens the bedroom door to say he's not feeling well and needs a day off school. 'What's the matter?' I say while I get up to examine him. 'My back hurts', he replies. His back reveals a strange bruise and I send him back to bed. Beyond the room, I see my eldest son go to the kitchen to make himself breakfast. At the end of the hallway (abode now resembling the one in waking life), Kayci, his girlfriend, has the front door open and she's having a cigarette. I walk towards the entrance to look at the morning view outside, expecting to see the spacious, public lawn which is shared by many neighbours but typically deserted at dawn, only to discover my false awakening situation.

      I'm shocked to find a vast park replete with people noisily congregating, and the colossal industrial buildings in the background clearly defying the logic of being remote from commercial areas and living by a river in waking life. 'Is this a lucid dream?' I ask Kayci. 'Yes.'

      I push my right hand through the door jamb and watch my limb being engulfed up to my elbow by the wood with barely any resistance. I notice my former neighbour Libby in the bustling park, beckoning to me in her typically risqué manner whenever she had a reefer to share. As her mischievously grinning form wiggles her long index fingernail, I realise the risk of being lured into an ordinary dream state.

      I run through the crowd in the opposite direction to beckoning Libby, desperately trying to remember the plan of action I had only just written down prior to bedtime. I frantically run and leap, annoyed that I can't remember one single step of the plan, and partially disturbed at the prospect of a premature collapse of the phase state. I could ask Libby for mnemonic clues, but she vanished, and a demented life-size Beano-like character is chasing me around this crazy playground. I find him very distracting and I feel like it would be impossible to reason with him.

      I wake up, content and slightly annoyed, with white noise petering out in my head. I make notes to remind myself to rehearse the plan of action in imagination prior to the next attempt and that in lucid dreams, control is attainable. The Libby and Beano simulations would have bent to my will.

      ---Looking back now, I wonder if 'Beano' was actually a representation of the memory of the first step in my plan of action (visiting Minecraft). What I found distracting might have been, quite literally, the memory 'coming to me'. In hindsight, Beano looked like something out of Minecraft. I think I made a mistake by inadvertently avoiding what I really wanted.
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