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    svance22

    homes not home

    by , 08-11-2013 at 10:10 AM (226 Views)
    I had to pee. I walked through a path in the woods, but got really scared, I felt like something was wrong. (It was a path I realized when i woke, that was a mix between a path by my old house in my old neighborhood and a path i walk through now.)
    I felt scared and started running, trying to run to my house and go to my mom. I ran faster and faster to where i couldnt get my feet to grip the road, it was night outside, and very very dark.. I ran toward a house that I thought was mine but then realized that wasnt right. Something about it was my house but it wasnt my house, so i kept going up the street. (later realizing this was my childhood house).
    I saw what was my house and ran inside. the man and young women inside were alarmed, and wondering who i was, my mom walked into the bathroom and said, oh thats a girl named Sabrina.
    I sat on the couch ..knowing something wasnt right, this wasnt reality, i felt stuck somewhere..i started to have a panic attack..
    The young women got real close to me bent over asking, is everything ok hun, are you alright? and i said "I dont want to talk to you, go away, I want to talk to my mom, i want my mom, and she started looking around, wondering what i was talking about and what was wrong, since that women she knew, wasnt really my mom..

    i got a "stuck" feeling, like in my "Religion isnt real" dream, and thought i was stuck in an alternate reality, and was afraid that i'd never be able to go back.

    i said i must be dreaming, its a dream, it has to be, im dreaming, and i woke up.
    i NEVER had so much anxiety in a dream.

    If im having a nightmare, and i realize im dreaming, can i start to control it and make it into something good, or will i always wake up..
    why is it then when i realize its not real, i automatically feel like it is real, but maybe a different demention? that i can get stuck in..

    I had a dream the other night that started scary, but i went after people and got them , and everything was ok again, then i realized that i was flying at some point and thought, well thats weird, people cant really fly, i must be dreaming, and i made a decision to fly in a direction i didn know well, and i saw a pond, and flew down to it, running my fingers over the water, and flipping , not able to control my flight well.

    it was the first time i flew.

    this dream though, i felt like i had no control over.
    and the dark path i was running through felt like it had a strange connection to the dark part of the tunnel i experienced.

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