false awakening

[Saturday, November 3rd, 2012]
<I lied in my bed, after stretching and meditating for a good long time.
I told myself and whoever would help me, that I needed help having a meaningful dream. Or a lucid dream.
Falling asleep- I instantly began to have dreams, just cloudy ones. I woke up after some time. And re-thought my
intentions to wake up and not move to enter into a DEILD.>

The next time I wake up, completely still.
I feel my body frozen and numb.
I will myself up out of my bed towards the front end of it.
And find my back to the wall.
I repeated in my head-
"MAINTAIN CONTROL. MAINTAIN CONTROL."
But I struggled and got excited and woke up.
I rose my head out from the covers and thought-
"WAIT, THIS IS ANOTHER DREAM."
Suddenly, the darkness in front of me was transformed...
into odd colors and sounds. Spirals and fireworks.
The door had an outline of light that was separated from the door itself!
I got excited again and...

<Then I woke up for real.>
<Through my excitement, I still fell back asleep.>

I'm in a mix of Safeway and Target. I go back with Nathan and Alex to the back of the store. I find a dark corner
where no one goes and in the wall, there's a panel missing. I crawl into the panel and sit there for a moment in the
dusty old grey... and feel... a strange deja vu wipe over me. I find my old, golden, thin-frame glasses that my
Mom's been looking for over two years to find.

<fast forward in dream>

Scientists figure out how to create God, and the head of the company in charge is talking to the father of "Morel
Orel"'s Orel. They're in a dark room with a spot light on their wooden meeting table. Orel's Dad sat there in a dim
meeting room as one of his lead scientists said:

"We've been able to create women, doughnuts, nipples, cars...the whole works!"

Orel's Dad squinted his eyes and said, "Ooohkaayyy. Riiiight." In mocking disbelief.
The scientists went on to tell him that he was to receive cars and money and new technology.
He owned half the company apparently!

I remember a faint impression of being in Nevada or a desert area and I saw large satellite dishes.

<fast forward in dream>

My twin brother had a book that would allow him to have whatever he wanted.
He just had to write it in a blank page.
He was mad at me for some reason and was threatening to write me away.
I grabbed the book and held it shut, we both tried forcing the book out of each others hand.
He tried to cut my hair with a pair of scissors, but I got my head away.
I grabbed the scissors and pretended to cut his hair until he let go of the book.
Then I ran into the other room and hid the book.

[Thursday, October 25th, 2012]
(I fell asleep tongith at my Aunt's on her couch. I went over to clean that night, but I felt insanely nausious so I lied
down for a while...)

I'm on the same street that me and Alex had a fight on the night before this dream...
Me and Alex are on a platform, it's midnight, and there's someone watching us from a bench...
We're fighting in slow motion- dodging punches and swinging kicks- with superhuman precision and grace.
The person on the bench doesn't say a word, but I have the idea that she's female.
Alex has a weapon now, and she swings it at me, but I have a strange, giant, metal pair of pliers,
and I dodge and rear back into a snake stance with the pliers ready to clamp.
We stop and put our weapons down and laugh.

--

Me and Alex are traveling through some strange mountain pathway up to a village...
The side of the cliff path is so steep, we have to stab our hands into the ground to pull ourselves up.
I feel almost robotic, but graceful in how I make my way up the mountain.
As we reach the village- I either lose recall or the dream ends...

--

I'm outside of my Aunt's/Grandpa's house in the yard.
No recall besides the location, so far.

(I had plenty of dreams. PLENTY of dreams. I only recall a few of them right now though.)

I'm by Screamer's, a bunch of people pass by in a ship made of logs that sails on land.
Me and Alex are in a blow-up-raft and are floating along the other way, going towards the road.

<skip to the next dream>

At Dunkin' Donuts with Nathan
(I don't work here now.)
I take a broken glazed donut
He gives me another butternut chocolate
Hope, my ex-boss for Dunkin Donuts, walks in the room and she's okay that I'm there.
I think about asking for a job there since DD is back in town somehow.
I wonder about how DD is back in business.
The whole building is now huge, there's tons of tables.
People are gradually coming in. By now there's only one person sitting at a table.
Karen, our old landlord, also is a boss here too.
We're built into the apartment complex.
Hope hands me some clothes, "Some of these are yours that you left!"
I'm walking around and see clothes scattered everywhere, as if it's a messy home.
I find a pair of glasses that resembles mine, sitting on a table.
I take off the ones I have on now and realize that they're not mine. I replace them.
I walk around more and explore this new building.
I find that pile of clothes from earlier that I had set down, and decide to look through it.
"Heeyyy, none of these are even my clothes!" I say in a humorous high-pitched voice.
I walk outside.
With Hope and Karen, we get in the car and leave to go somewhere.

We drive back up and we all part ways.
I come in to the Dunkin' Donuts/Apartment/Bar later with a suit and tie and I look badass and sexy.
People are everywhere, sitting at tables.
I see a girl I know, Sam ____, and I point at her, "Hey you!"
She gets up to hug me and attempts to kiss me in the process as well...
I avoid the kiss, even if she's cute, because I have someone who I love already.
After awhile of hanging out there, I go outside and notice the door doesn't shut all the way...
and if I get it to shut, it doesn't stay that way. Frustrated, I walk inside and say,
"Don't use this door, guys!" Someone replies, "Yeah, it doesn't shut."
I leave it half open and walk outside...
Then my old Golden Retriever runs outside!
I chase her around, trying to catch her, but she's too damn fast.
My Mom appears and tries to catch her too; she doesn't seem too worried.
Another dog appears, maybe my old Chihuahua Pinky.
Then Teddy appears, but he looks very odd and grey and old.
Sedona is still running around the apartment complex when the dream ends..

<I wake up.>

<I fall back asleep.>

Lying in bed, I notice that there's a flat-screen TV where it shouldn't be. A lady is delivering the news.
I'm not in my room... and if I am, it's different. The lights are darker and colder.
I realize I must be dreaming and decide to crawl towards the TV, to crawl inside.
It's extremely difficult to make myself crawl towards it.
I open my eyes and I'm in sleep paralysis.
A figure stands near my bed, just out of the corner of my eye.
I freak out and wake up again.

<I wake up, startled...>
<I fall back asleep.>

Alex, Nathan, and I are driving through where McDonald's usually is, but this time, it's Wendy's!
We pull up to the drivethru and I want two Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers, but they order before I have a chance to say it and pull up.
Alex orders a Bacon Cheeseburger and a drink and Nathan orders something else.
I'm distraught! They pull up and park and we go inside to eat.
I'm complain, but they don't seem to have much sympathy.
I see the plastic utensils, and look around to see where Nathan and Alex went.
They're sitting down eating, while I wander around the restaurant aimlessly.

<dream skips>

I'm back at the apartment complex... or at least a different version of it.
Each outside door leads to another SUB-apartment complex, with it's own 4 or 6 doors to actual apartments.
The apartments are distorted, and extremely large and long, like warehouses.
I'm inside of one apartment with lots of people I knew from school.
We're all playing with these devices that you attach to either your clothing or your head-
When you think a phrase clearly enough, it will play the voice off a speaker.
We all take turns playing with it:
"There's a snake in my boot!"
"There's a rake in my poot!"
"Pooh! Poot! Poop!"
"Rickets... what? Whoa I can hear myself think!"

We all goof around until, eventually, most people leave.
<dream fades>

(I don't remember the rest, just imprints of memories that have to do with the sky and mountains and sunsets. It looks like the sun is setting in the
wrong direction.)

[Thursday, September 13th, 2012]
<dream fragment>
I'm driving up to the High School with Nathan to drop him off for school... we pass by kids and I see the Principal, Ms Jacobson, and a Vice Principal walking next to her down the sidewalk. "Hey Nathan! I think I just saw the new Vice Principal! That was him wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't."
(I wasn't entirely sure... but I tried to sound sure of myself anyways.)
"Yeah it was. He had a name tag on him... next time you see him, see if it said Vice Principal on it."
I went forward up the parking lot as far as I could go towards the Gym and turned... right a little and then dropped him off. I realized that this wasn't how you were supposed to drop people off, you were supposed to stop at the side walk and turn LEFT. Nathan got out and I didn't see him again after that. I glanced back to see if anyone was watching me- there wasn't. Everyone had vanished. It was just me in the parking lot now. I didn't think anything of it. I reversed out of there with some difficulty and drove back the way I was supposed to go, noting that I shouldn't go the way the buses usually go. (It didn't matter, but whatever.) As I was driving around the Football-field-side of the student parking lot, I thought to myself...
"Wait... I was just in bed trying to sleep... THIS IS A DREAM."

As my common sense and consciousness rushed into my mind, my visuals rippled and faded. Now I'm surrounded with nothing but darkness. I try to focus on anything to start another dream... and I see an imprint; a blurry visual... it's a vertical oval, like a round mirror... and there's a figure in the center staring back at me. Who is that? I focus on the figure and try to bring them closer to me. The visuals just get weaker and I feel my body now in WL. It's so numb, and it feels like my stomach is being forced through the bed into my spine... is something sitting on me? This must be sleep paralysis! I force my eyes closed even more in slight fear... and I just bring myself even closer to WL in the process of focusing on my body. I focus on the feeling of sleep paralysis as its fading... and I try to force sleep paralysis back, and surprisingly it works. I start to fade back into a dream, but then I fall back down into my bed and wake up completely.

+
<false awakening>
I hear knocking at my door as I try to fall back asleep. I ignore it for a little bit and curse my Grandma's invasiveness. After a second, I convince myself she's still there and realize I'm naked in my bed. She knocks again and I could have SWORN she was opening the door at that second. My blanket was suddenly covering my body perfectly. Too perfectly... but it was fine at the time. I slip my boxers back on when she doesn't open the door and I get up and open it myself. She is there and she asks me a question that I don't remember, and then I wake up for real.

EDIT: She asked me how the jobs were going and if I had done anything else with it. I kind of got angry... "Grandma! I said I was just waiting on the school now to call me! I've already done everything I can, remember?!"

[Friday, August 31st, 2012]
I'm now a member of an underground club (that I can't help but relate to WoW guilds) that meets online sometimes... but this is just a ruse/disguise. The real club is located just outside of town, off the out-of-town highway. I go in the first time and I'm pretty awkward. I ask for a cigarette and someone gives me a halfie. I have trouble lighting it but do it a strange way... it impresses someone. (By the way, we are inside a strange warehouse-hideout with ramps and rails like an indoor skatepark. There is a control room elevated on a platform in the center of the warehouse.) Suddenly it's time to go, so we all slowly make for the exit. I notice a blonde hair girl walking way ahead of me and say something to one of the members beside me. The dream fades.

+

Now I'm at school. I'm broke and lost, and I'm trying to find my way through a hallway filled with countless kids I know. I come to a fork and follow Jessie Brumley to the right. It leads outside with a sign that has 4 numbers, some of them double digit. These must be room/class numbers. I realize this is the wrong way because of how few classes are that way. I return to the left to find Malakie, she's standing by a set-up table and making sure that kids get food tickets for lunch. Apparently, it is lunch time right now. I approach and am next, but 3-4 girls cut me off by making a line and take my place. I make it obvious I'm annoyed but get back in line. This time when I get to Malakie, she hands me a $5 bill and then a $20 bill. I'm surprised, but thrilled. She notices my confused face, "You have no money! Take it." she insists. I'm grateful, "Thank you." I say politely. I walk out the door behind her.

+

[Dream memory first starts to become clear here]
I'm with my Dad, and he's unhappy about something. We make our way through the same dirt road from the same out-of-town highway. We walk in silence and he slowly morphs into the leader of the Underground Club. We reach our hideout and he takes me to the center room and (memory is kind of foggy here again) he talks to me for awhile. Very slowly and calmly, he turns into a ghost. He's dying right in front of me. When he's dead, he makes me leader for some reason. I only understand that he's dead and he gives no apparent sign of being dead, other than now being very quiet. He doesn't vanish or fall over... I ask him, "Can you at least walk with me?" I'm referring to outside. He stares at me and nods...

Once we're outside, we meet an RM member outside who is unaware of the ex-leader's condition. He must be early to a meeting. I take a closer look at him and he has a Renji/Excelzior feel to him, as if he's important and experienced within the Club. The ex-leader speaks to him, "I'm done and gone. I'm out of here." Renji casually nods, "Okay." and waves us off. I start to walk a little prouder. I am the new leader after all.

My memory skips a bit. We're still just outside, but now I'm in front of a fenced off area. To the left beyond the fence is a hole in the earth. It's enourmous. There's one on the right too. Suddenly, I'm with the club, or at least with some of them. I'm extremely different, I have my personality back: I'm Moki, and I talk cute, but with an aire of confidence and knowledge, and a hint of mischief. (Like the Cheshire Cat, or ___ from Tiger/Dragon) In front of eveeryone, I'm so happy I could fly. So I do. I flap my arms and hover face-foward to the ground for a moment before slowly/surely lifting up higher. Except for one Galkan-looking man, the rest of the club is sitting on a platform next to the fence. I try to fly up but the big Galka man snatches me out of the air and sets me up on the platform with the rest of the members before I can make it myself. I wake up.

+ [I record the first half of this on paper, then fall asleep again after failing to WILD.]

Now I'm back on the dirt road, but this time with Alex, Nathan, Casey, and two other RM's, and it's dusk. I'm going to show them the hideout and the holes. We make our way down the road which seems to take longer than usual. It's different. We finally make it to where the club house is and there's only a... shack. It's not here now. I turn to the holes behind the fences, and instead of finding what I remember, I see a cemetary. We approach the cemetary anyways; I'm not giving up yet. The others stoop down to read the stones while I enter and walk through the gate. Once inside, we don't find what we were looking for... but a normal looking man walks in front of me and says something ironic. (I wish I could remember.)

(I can't believe I didn't become lucid in the last dream. I had JUST recorded this dream in my journal... )