• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. 21 Mar: Mission on underwater bunker, finances and abusive dad

      by , 03-21-2021 at 11:13 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Part of a team planning something that implies invading someone's underwater bunker and living there for a year. But the plan fails, because the bunker is at a lake or near the shore and there is as a guy driving buy who spots us diving and he knows to whom this place belongs and what's down there under water. I think we should abort but the others decide to go anyway.
      Nothing happens for weeks. We get used to living there. It's more like an underwater complex, spacious and with multiple areas, even has a living room with a piano, very stylish.
      At some point we're running a full business from there and I interview 3 ladies for the secretary job. Someone even brings in a dog,
      Then there is one incident, when the two guys who take shifts guarding outside, get into a fight. While they are not watching, some hired killer comes in the complex to eliminate us. And somehow I know this but no one listens to me. There are escape pods and I consider going on one, but I decide to stay and locate and neutralize the enemy.

      I am at the Finances office, to clear up a doubt about my taxes, but the world looks a bit post-apocalyptic and the place looks chaotic. No one comes to help me, so I just barge in and look for employees in the lower level office rooms. I find a room with two workers behind desks covered in piles of paper and attending a 3rd person, so I wait on a bench in the corridor for a chance to talk to them. While there, the corridor behind me fills with debris, like the walls just collapsed. But the workers just keep doing their business as usual, as if nothing happened and eventually ask me what they can do to help me. We discuss income tax and they issue an invoice for the tax I have to pay, and then I leave.
      I meet my dad on my way out, and I tell him about my tax issues. But then he starts tickling me and playing with me like he used to when I was a child. But not in a good way.
      (And this is actually real, my father never abused me, but he did harass me a lot and disguised it as innocent play) Things escalate as he starts pulling my pants off. I get really mad at him and yell at him that that wasn't ok when I was a child and it is not ok now, and that he will face consequences, because I am an adult now. I call him an abuser and tell him that what he did, was never play, it was always sexual abuse/harassment and he seriously needs treatment for his mental problem. He goes speechless. He looks down on the ground, then grabs a sandwich, but can't even swallow it because his throat is so dry. Then he changes subject and asks me about some movie he saw or wants to see, that is directed by some director he knows and Robert Rodriguez and he wants to know if I know him. But I am jut too furious and do not get distracted by the change of subject.
    2. this isn't a dream

      by , 05-03-2018 at 03:23 AM
      apparently i haven't been on here since Before I Left For College
      oh boy have things changed

      a lot of my experiences since i started college have shaped my dream life into something far different than it used to be. more and more often i find myself both dwelling on the past and jumping far into the future. because of a rough first couple of years at university i had long periods of short, sharp nightmares that come back to me sometimes even now. because of a lot of soul-searching and self-reflection many of my dreams deal with fears i have only recently realized i have. because of an abusive relationship my dreams sometimes bring me back to a time and mindset i am still trying hard to overcome.

      i am so different now, and seeing my posts from so long ago i can't help smiling at who i was before. i'm like, twenty years old. i turn twenty one in two weeks, but sometimes i feel pretty ancient. my dream journey is beginning again, and this time it is with purpose. initially my interest was just that; an interest. now i think i would like to utilize my dreams in order to overcome my fears. i haven't been vigilant about reality checking, or about dream journals, or about anything non-academic, to be honest, but i think that this new dream goal is important and will help in my efforts to begin living a healthier life, mentally, emotionally, and physically. wish me luck.
    3. Nightmare (1) w/snake.

      by , 04-17-2018 at 08:02 PM
      I was with C. And he was staying with me and my mom, i think we were just in a hotel. We were traveling somewhere. In the dream, I felt like i had a nightmare where he sexually assaulted me while sleeping. I was crying and telling my mom about it. The next night in the dream, I slept in my own room in the hotel. I had a pillow covering my face but nothing else because I was hot. C came in and sexually assaulted me. I begged him to stop but he kept going. I was sobbing, being loud, but my mom didn't hear. I would beg him and say "please don't, I said no" and he'd be like "oh? no? how are you going to stop this?" and proceed to sexually abuse me. I was trying to get away, and that's when I saw this green venomous snake slither up him with out him noticing. I stayed quiet accepting what was happening, and that's when the snake bit his back. He screamed in pain and i ran out of my bed room freely.
      He acted like he did nothing wrong. I ran up to me sobbing, telling me that it was a poisoned snake and it will make all his teeth fall out. And then he had transformed into an old lady, who looked like she abused drugs, with out any teeth (if there were teeth, they were all black) and she was generally terrifying. I stepped out of what was the backyard (That looked a lot like my old houses back yard) and then i woke up.

      I feel a general love for the snake, lol. The snake really saved me.
    4. Unknown Pt 1

      by , 08-25-2017 at 04:20 PM
      I'm cleaning out my phone and this is one of the dreams I had saved. I may not have all details because this was a while ago, but it was memorable.

      I'm walking back from the Safeway across the street and I need to put my purse in a locker for some reason, which is located in the pool room (?). I go inside, and this old man is sitting there. I make a comment about how the lockers never used to be this way and he goes on a rant saying, "Oh yeah they did, I've lived here for 20 years..." etc. So as I'm putting it away the pool room morphs into a living room, which is upturned like there was a fight.

      I ask the man what happened, and he says he was having a bit of fun. He is an older, severely obese man; he points to an old recliner and this petite, scared Asian woman is hiding underneath the opened leg rest part. She is crying, naked, and hurt. I realize she is his caretaker and he was abusing her. I tell her to get dressed while he's going on about how useless she is and how fun it was to hit her. Once she's dressed he demands she help him into the recliner.

      I tell him I'm gonna be staying to make sure she's okay because he isn't allowed to hurt her, and if he touches her again I'm beating him up. While she's getting him situated he has to move the wires by his feet. As he does so they start sparking and catch fire. He panics and throws them onto the pile of cords at his feet. The flames are getting higher, and as they do the living room changes to my mom's living room, and I'm panicking about getting all the animals out. I'm trying to put the fire out and I just make it worse. Finally, I run and get a pitcher of water and put it out; that part of the dream fades.

      I'm at Kevin's old house and his mom and Don just got home and it's snowing. He had to go help them bring groceries in. I'm hungry though and want something to eat. He gives me a cup of easy Mac and I spend the rest of the dream trying to get it open.

      There's another part I don't really remember where we're in his truck with his mom looking for an apartment but I don't remember anything except trying to turn his truck around, which becomes a hassle because it practically has no turn radius.
    5. Cross Gender

      by , 06-03-2015 at 04:49 AM
      My mind often forgets what my gender is when I am within the realm of a dream. Sometimes I'm a boy and sometimes I'm a girl, I have even switched genders part way through.

      In this one dream, I was a young boy living with his brother in a suburban home. Our parents had passed away a few months back and we were still trying to hide this information from authorities. We continued on wishing to live on our own without a foster parent because we knew that would mean moving to a different home and possibly a different school. The bills for the house kept coming and we could only tell the telephone that our parents were in the showers so many times before suspicion arose.

      When it was found out that we were living on our own an estranged grandfather was given charge of us and the property. It was not like we had feared but in another way, this was much worse. There was a reason we had never been brought to meet this man. He was a child abuser. As soon as he arrived he made plans to do some landscaping, all the labor was done by brother and I. He didn't like the speed I was working so he pushed me down into the hole I had dug and pushed his brown plad covered pelvis into my face, all the while mocking me and calling me a faggot.

      The last thing I remember before I wake is my back against the muddy wall and my pedophile grandfather leering over me, smiling a bit as he unzipped his trousers.

      Sometimes I wonder if some dreams are portals into alternate realities.
    6. 12/02/13 In Another Life

      by , 12-04-2013 at 06:35 AM (New Dream Adventures of Raven Knight)

      In Another Life
      I am back in high school. I have absolutely no awareness of my waking life or that there is anything out of place. My name is Marcy, and I am sitting near the back of the room in a math class. It's Algebra. I'm not having any problems with it, I am good at math. More importantly, this is my last class of the day. I am anxious to get out of class and get home. I hope I can get out of the school without meeting up with the jerks that I always have problems with. Sarah, Beth, Maria, and Gene. The bell rang and I shove my books and papers into my backpack and hurry out the door. I am almost to the front door of the school when I see the very people I had been hoping to avoid. Sarah is there talking to her friends. I think I can get out of sight without being seen but it is too late. Sarah speaks loudly, saying watch out, it just got fatter in here. I look down at my body. I am moderately overweight, but it really isn't that much. Gene adds that it got uglier in here. Maria adds that it got stupider in here. Beth tries to add something but I can't understand her because she is laughing too hard. I don't want to let them bother me, but they do. It hurts. I feel like crying.

      I hurry past them and out the door, figuring if that is it then I should count myself lucky. But that's not it. Sarah comes out first and shoves me to the ground. The others laugh. Gene and Beth grab my backpack from me, it had only been over one shoulder, and they take off with it. I need that! I chase after them, but I am slower since I am a bit fat. Sarah and Maria follow after me laughing and making comments about my bouncing ass. We reach the far fence of the school yard. I am so out of breath. Gene opens the backpack and starts tossing stuff out over the fence saying that it was all garbage. Beth asks Gene how she can touch stuff I have contaminated. As if just realizing that, Gene tosses the backpack over the fence as if it would bite her. Sarah shoves me into the fence and tells me the world would be better off if I went home and killed myself. I clumsily climb the fence to get my things. I fall down the other side, much to the girls' delight. I scrape my knee up, but that's it. I start collecting my things as the girls walk off, still laughing. After I get my things together I sit by the fence, tired, depressed. Why me? Why did everyone hate me? I start crying.

      Not much time had passed before I sense someone watching me. I look up and see a man standing over me. He is wearing a hoodie and has very striking blue eyes. Not sure what a grown man would want with a 14 year old girl I move away a bit. He speaks in a friendly tone. He says not to go, he won't hurt me, he just saw me crying and wondered if I was ok. The fact that a complete stranger has shown concern in how I feel sets me off crying all over again. He asks what is wrong. I find his name is Alex. I'm not sure why, but I feel the need to tell him everything. About the girls harassing me here at school, harassing me online when I'm away from school, one time they had gotten physically violent and broken my nose… maybe Sarah is right and I should just kill myself. He listens sympathetically while I talk. He then holds one hand out to me to help me up. My hesitation has gone now, and I accept his help. He pulls me to my feet… but then he won't let go! He smiles in a friendly way, but what he says is not friendly at all. He says he lied when he said he wouldn't hurt me, this is actually going to hurt quite a bit. But it won't last long. And when it is done, those girls will never push me around again. No one will ever push me around again. I kick at him and try to pull away, I scream, but there is no one way out by the fence to hear me and he is much stronger than I am. He is holding my arm with his right hand… and his left hand is gone? His left hand has transformed into the claws of a beast? My first thought is Wolverine from X-Men. I'm being attacked by Wolverine?! I fight harder. Is this guy going to cut me? Yes, he is. He drives his claws into my mid section. A burning pain erupts from the place he stabbed me. He is holding me close now, whispering in my ear. He says again that it won't last long, so just hang on… it will be much better later. No one would ever hurt me again. Of course no one would hurt me! I was dying! Everything started fading to black. I wonder if anyone will miss me. Will anyone care? My mom would… my brother would… but no one at school would. They'd be glad. I am angry that they will get what they want, then I am swallowed by darkness.

      I wake up sitting by the fence that goes around my school. My backpack is beside me. The light is fading. Oh, no! I fell asleep! I look at my stomach, but there is no gaping wound. No blood. Wow… that attack must have been a dream. Just a bad dream. I have to get home! I grab my backpack and run for home. I run as far as I can and then I walk fast. I am exhausted when I reach the house. There are police there, and my mother is beside herself with worry. She sees me and runs over and greets me with the biggest hug. But then she is angry. Where have I been? Why didn't I at least call? What happened? She called the police, she thought I'd been kidnapped or worse! I tell her about being harassed by the girls. I leave out the part about crying, she would consider that a weakness. I tell her I had been waiting by the fence for the girls to leave and I must have fallen asleep. I apologize many times. After a while of apologizing and having people check me out everyone decides it was an honest accident. The police leave, telling me to be more careful about where I fall asleep. I was lucky, but things do happen to girls out alone. I eat dinner, which is macaroni and cheese, then the rest of the evening is spent trying to get my homework done. But it's hard… I don't have as much time as usual since I fell asleep and had to explain everything so many times. And I can't shake the memory of the dream. The weirdest thing is I remember climbing the fence and falling and skinning my knee. But my knee isn't marked. No scratch or scrape, not even any dirt. I am unable to get my homework done before bed time. I am tired, so I crawl into bed and fall asleep right away.

      My alarm wakes me up what seems like five minutes later. My sleep had been dreamless this time. I drag myself out of bed, eat some honey nut cheerios for breakfast, then I walk to school as usual. All in a haze, also as usual. As I get to school Sarah starts in on me right away. She tells me I forgot to kill myself last night. I try to ignore her. She asks if there is too much fat in the way for me to cut my wrists. I try to ignore her. She follows me down the hall to my locker while throwing out all the insults she can think of. My birth certificate should've been an apology letter from the condom factory. I'm not sure what a condom is. I should do the world a favor and disappear into fat air. They'd launch me into space but no space ship could lift me… and I'd scare the aliens. This continues. I go to my first class. Sarah is in that class so this offers me no escape. History class. I already don't like history, and with Sarah in the class, it's a nightmare. English class is next, and that offers me some reprieve. But Spanish class is the worst. Both Sarah and Beth are in the class, and the teacher doesn't seem to care what they say to me as long as it's in Spanish. Then there's lunch. I always eat alone. I have no friends. But this time I can't manage to eat alone. Sarah and friends are all around me. Sarah takes my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She takes a bite, then spits it out in my direction before throwing the sandwich in the trash and saying she shouldn't have done that. Now she's infected. She needs an antidote, quick! I escape into my Biology class after being harassed through lunch. Thankfully, Beth and Maria ignore me in my Humanities class. Maybe they've had enough for now. Algebra is a safe class, then it's time to go home.

      Again I hope to get out before being spotted by Sarah and her friends, again I fail. When I see them I duck into the girls' bathroom, hoping they didn't see me. I go into one of the stalls. The bathroom is empty and quiet. I hear the door open and someone comes in. My heart sinks when I hear Sarah's voice. She says she knows I'm in there, calling me Fatsy instead of Marcy. About five minutes pass with her standing out there throwing vulgar insults, more vulgar than I normally hear. I figure I should just go past her and leave. I can't stay here all day. So I come out and head for the door. Sarah blocks my way and says not so fast. She says she was being serious about me killing myself. I should do it. Cut the wrists. Warm water would help me bleed out faster. Hanging is an option if I have a rope. Or if my parents have a gun… no, they must not or they would've killed me a long time ago. After being hounded all day I am getting mad. I tell Sarah to get out of the way. She asks who's going to make her. She asks what I'm going to do about it. I think she wants to get into a fight but wants me to start it for some reason. She wants me to throw the first punch. She pushes at me and I briefly lose my balance. Fine… if she wants me to throw the first punch, I will! I punch her in the stomach, hoping to knock the wind out of her. To my stunned horror, my fist actually goes INTO her stomach, spraying blood everywhere. Sarah doubles over and vomits blood. I pull my fist back, I hadn't meant to do that! Really! As I pull my fist back it's like Sarah's insides are somehow caught on it, a stream of bloody tissue flows out of her wound and onto me. I think I might vomit now. The rest of Sarah's body dissolves into a bloody stream and flows onto me. The disgusting mess seems to soak into my body and then it's gone. No blood, no mess, no Sarah. I stand there in shock.

      I walk out of the bathroom in a trance, leaving my backpack behind. I walk aimlessly, across the school yard. To the fence where I'd been harassed by Sarah and her friends just the previous day. I reach the fence and drop to my knees, still in shock, not knowing where to go. I try to clear my mind. I have to go home. My mom (and dad?) would be waiting for me… no… not my dad… he's dead… but he's not. My brother Josh would be there, no… it was my sisters Jenna and Sally. Sisters? I didn't have sisters! I try to think clearly, but it's as if I have two sets of conflicting memories in my mind at the same time. One of me, Marcy, and one of Sarah. Sarah, with her timid mother and overbearing father. Overbearing and ABUSIVE! Sarah's memories told me if I was late getting home that would justify a beating… and maybe a nighttime visit. Those horrible nighttime visits… But Sarah is dead now. I killed her. I become stuck on that thought. Sarah is dead and I killed her. But now I know everything about her. She wasn't mean, she was scared. Scared that there was nothing she could control, that everyone could see her weakness, everyone could see she was a victim waiting to be attacked. But if she could prove she was stronger than someone else… like that fat girl Marcy. Damn, she wished she was me. No sign of being beaten at home… Bringing a good lunch every day… Sarah is dead and I killed her.

      Guilt overcomes me and I start to cry. Someone jumps the fence but I don't look. He comes over to me, pauses, then acts surprised it is me. He calls me Marcy, then says he has never seen someone figure out how to use that ability on their own before! I look up. It's the man from my dream… Alex… but his hand is normal, not claws. He doesn't look like Wolverine right now, though I am sure Wolverine doesn't have to have his claws out all the time… Anyhow, being attacked isn't really on my mind. I stand up and grab his jacket, saying over and over that Sarah is dead and I killed her. There. I told an adult. Now he would take me to the police. I had to confess, there was no choice. Sarah is dead and I killed her. But he doesn't lead me away. He shakes me until I stop repeating my confession. Tears are still streaming down my face. I look at my right hand that I had somehow used to punch right through Sarah… Alex holds me, trying to comfort me. He says he can explain what is happening. He says I "consumed" Sarah. He says I should now have Sarah's memories, too, and I do have her appearance. The extra set of memories… I say yes, I do… but how? He says that happens when we consume someone. He can do it, too. I start off on a new rant now, telling him Sarah wasn't really bad, it wasn't her fault, she's dead and I killed her… I consumed her… how can I fix it? How can I reverse it? There has to be a way! There just HAS to be a way! He looks like he's not sure what to say to help console me.

      Before Alex says anything more, the other three pieces of bad news come over. More insults coming, and there was no way I could handle it right now… no way! But no one says anything mean. Beth asks who my friend is. Maria sees I've been crying and asks if I am ok, but she calls me Sarah. Gene is getting in Alex's face. She asks what he did to Sarah, why did he make her cry. I say Sarah is dead and I killed her. Maria looks genuinely concerned at that. She asks what I'm talking about. Gene goes back at Alex, calling him an asshole and asking again what he'd done to Sarah. Maria leads me away from Alex, saying I need to rest, I need to rest where my bastard father can't hurt me… I should stay over with her tonight. I know right away Sarah's father would say hell no to that and be furious if she did. And when Sarah wasn't there for his nighttime visit, he'd visit Jenna instead. Jenna… only 8 years old… she'd come to Sarah almost a year ago saying father was visiting her sometimes at night. Sarah had advised Jenna not to fight or father would hurt her more. But now I knew what I had to do. I would go home to Sarah's house and break Sarah's number one rule. I would fight back… and that bastard father of Sarah's wouldn't know what hit him.

      I ask Maria for a minute of privacy during which I call my own mother and say I am going to a friend's house. She is thrilled that I have a friend. She says to keep my cell phone on. I say I will. Then I tell Maria I have to hurry home. I run most of the way. Sarah's body is that of a cheerleader, and very athletic. I go into the house and find father in a very bad mood. He's drinking again. Perfect. Maybe I can get him to take me to the basement to take my medicine. Then I'll give him his medicine. But he is more focused on mother right now. His dinner wasn't good enough. The house isn't clean enough. He pushes her against the counter while berating her loudly. I tell him to leave mother alone. Mother looks at me as if I've gone mad, so does father. He asks if I want a piece of what he's handing out. Mother tells me to go to my room right now. I say I'm not leaving until this piece of shit that calls himself my father says he's sorry for hurting mother. Mother is shocked to silence, father is now more pissed than shocked, thought the shock still shows in his face. Father asks if I really want to be talking to him like that. Because if I talk like an adult, then I get an adult's medicine. Mother breaks her silence and tells father to leave me alone, I don't know what I'm saying. I tell father I sure do know what I'm saying, and someone ought to kick him in his pathetically small balls so hard they get lodged in his fucking nostrils. Father is pissed. He grabs me roughly by the arm and says it's an adult's medicine for me, then I will never speak to him like that again. Mother pleads with father not to hurt me, but he ignores her and pulls me down into the basement. This is going perfectly.

      Down in the dimly lit basement father asks what he should start with. I tell him he should start with begging me not to kill him. He says he doesn't know what has gotten into me, but I have sure gone off the deep end. I don't feel that way at all. I feel strong, like I can take on anyone. And he is weak. He has to pick on those smaller than himself. I spread my arms and tell him to come at me if he wants to die. He says he'll give me my medicine and he can't be sure I'll survive it. He grabs a board and swings it hard into my stomach. I barely feel it. He recoils as if he just smacked a concrete wall with the board. He looks at the board, then at me, then at the board again, clearly puzzled. He swings at me again. I grab the board and take it from him easily. I break it in half as if it was a twig. He steps back in shock, asking me what the fuck I am. I say it's his turn to take his medicine. I close the distance between us with two quick steps and then I repeat what happened with Sarah. I deliberately "consume" this asshole, or that's what Alex had called it. But this time I feel no guilt. Because now I know Jenna will never awaken to his nighttime visits again. Little Sally will never know a single visit. And mother will never have to take her medicine again. I punch my fist right into his gut, which brings about a shocked look of pain on his face. He screams out in pain and terror as I finish "consuming" him.

      The sound has brought mother down from upstairs. I look at my hands. I am a man now, I have taken on the form of that asshole. But I don't want to look like him! I want to look like Sarah! I don't want mother to think father killed Sarah. I'm not sure what I do want mother to think… a wave of guilt hits me over Sarah, she shouldn't have died… it was never her fault. As I focus on wanting to look like Sarah I see my hands in front of me shift form. And my perspective drops a couple feet. I am Sarah again. Mother comes down the stairs and stares at me. She asks where father went, she asks if I am ok. I tell her I am ok, father took his medicine. She stops short and asks what I'm trying to say. I feel guilty about Sarah again. I go over to mother and hug her, telling her over and over that I'm sorry, I'm sooooo sorry… I know it will break her heart when Sarah disappears. And Sarah will have to disappear. I can't be both myself and Sarah at the same time. And if I disappear, then my mother will be the one crying. Mother wants to know what I've done. She says whatever it is, she's sure it can't be that bad. I tell her it is, and I can't say what it is… but she will find out soon, and I am sooooo sorry.

      Mother wants to hold and comfort me, but I can't take it any longer. I pull away and run back upstairs and out the front door. I run down the street and out of sight even as I hear Sarah's mother behind me calling out. Not that much time has actually passed, and the sun is still shining. But I am in a dark place. I go down an alley to be out of sight and sit down beside a dumpster to cry. I feel some better knowing that Jenna, Sally, and Sarah's mother will no longer be hurt, but I still feel awful about what happened to Sarah. Someone comes up beside me as I am crying. I look up and it's Alex again. He asks if I can change back to Marcy. I think about my normal appearance for a bit and I feel the shift. Alex says I really am a natural. But a natural what? I ignore Alex now and go back to crying. Alex sits down beside me and puts an arm around me. He says to try not to be too hard on myself, what happened with Sarah was an accident. He asks if I really meant to hurt her. I remember wanting to knock the wind out of her, but that was it. Just a belly ache for her. I say no, I hadn't meant to hurt her. He says it was just a terrible accident, and now there was a lot I would have to learn about control so it would never happen again. Control of what? I don't know and I don't really care. I sit there, still crying, with Alex beside me trying to comfort me. I think I fall asleep like that, because then I wake up in bed as Raven again and a full understanding of what had happened in the dream.
    7. (Nap)-A Very, Very Messed Up Dream-

      by , 03-24-2013 at 02:54 AM (Of Distant Lands and Homely Fiction)
      This was by far one of the worst dreams I've had in a long time, if not my whole life.

      Part I: Playdate

      So it started off very normal, for the most part. Okay, that's a lie.

      I was with my father, my brother and this family of two African Americans; one a mid-aged man and who I assume was his very young son. So we're at what I assume was an arcade/restaurant place, though not much eating was going on to be frank. My father seemed very fond of the African American family, and I thought they were alright. I was very young in this dream, no older than 10 years-old. We were all taking turns at playing this jet-ski racing arcade game with the black child, and we were having fun. Every time I stopped playing though, I would go to the bathroom.

      Whenever I went into the bathroom, I turned into this humanoid wolf person, like a werewolf except not nearly as gruesome looking, but every time I went to the bathroom, I engaged in some different form of sexual intercourse, ranging from just standard vaginal to blowjobs by two different women at the same time. When it wasn't my turn to play with the kid, I'd sit down on this padded red couch with my brother, who was playing with his kindle a lot. This happened three or four times I think, though I somehow transitioned between this and the next part.

      Part II: Grandpa

      This is the most tame part of the dream, really.

      Recently, I went on vacation to Marina Del Rey with my mother, brother and grandfather, which is what I believe effected this dream.

      Much like in the dream, my brother, my grandpa and I spent most of our time eating and talking, though my mother was nowhere to be found, and we most certainly weren't in Marina Del Rey. It was a high class restaurant, the whole room was red. Fancy red walls, silk tablecloths and wall hangings, and red chairs to sit on. We all sat down at one of the middle tables in the back, talking idly to a point where I don't remember what we were really talking about. Soon though, it was time for us to depart, and I had a bad feeling that I'd never see my grandfather again, though I didn't hesitate to even say goodbye to him.

      He sent me and my brother a limo to ride us home, though we waited in the parking lot first. He pointed out that we were in the exact location of where a commercial he shot was at--in front of a diner with a Ross' in the background and a bank next to that, the sky filled with stars.

      We eventually got into the limo, and we began driving down a street I've never seen before, one with this large apartment complex that was stacked up neatly like blocks, though each one of these apartments was shaped like an individual square and had a large glass window in the front that showed off the whole room, and it consisted of people getting dressed in front of these windows. No one was nude, but half-dressed in some clothing, then some underwear as well. I assumed they were either going to bed or getting ready for work.

      Our destination would be our father's house.

      Part III: A Father's Abuse and One Odd Wish

      We got to my father's house, and my brother came with me, which was odd because my brother would never agree to go to my dad's house after invading his privacy and ruining his social life for years to come once back in high school. We were now about 17 or 18. Things were going fine so far--my brother was playing a game on the PS3 and I was sitting there playing with a Kindle. My dad wanted to check out my Kindle by looking through the images, and I didn't want him seeing some of the more... intimate images I had stored on my device, so I kept turning back the pages as he moved forwards. He was getting mad, and he asked me to stop. I replied with "I have some personal things on there." he said "Then you should show me them." which made no sense to me. I replied with "Things that I don't want you to see." which brought a huge snarl onto his face. He was furious, and got up and yelled at me "What could be so personal that I can't see?" I replied with "You have your privacy and I respect that, so please respect my privacy!" which only made him more mad. He screamed out "GOD DAMMIT!" loudly, turned around, then turned back to me and hit me right in the face.

      This made me fall on the floor, dazed at how my father just socked me in the face. He began kicking me violently, his bare feet digging into my stomach with each blow, and I just took it. My brother just kept playing video games, while I slowly and crudely got up. I tried to hit him, though I was so weak and out of energy that he easily dodged it, and pushed me back to the ground. He looked at me and started saying "Really? Really, huh?" and then began bashing my skull into the ground, over and over again. While he did, I couldn't stop thinking "I'm definitely running away to mom's." and then, I bit his foot, dug my fangs deep into them, and I did this over and over again. Eventually, he kicked me off and bashed me in the head again and again.

      He said he was going to leave for a bit, and he left me with my brother alone. I couldn't even get up anymore. So exhausted and hurt. I looked at my brother, still playing games, and said "Did you see that? He nearly killed me..." with him replying "Hey, I don't want to say I told you so, but..." and stopped there. I then devised a plan to kill my father, and without any sort of show on how I did it, I murdered my father, and retrieved a... "full diaper" from him. I met this anime-looking girl who wanted the diaper. In my mind, she was a friend, so I gave her the diaper.

      What she did next, was something I could have never expected. She opened up the diaper and ate the fecal matter inside of it, or rather, let it sit in her mouth for a bit, then spit it out like water, spraying it everywhere. I wasn't so disgusted in the dream, but I was horrified when I woke up. When she spit it out, she said I had something like one wish, and with my dad dead, I wished that we could go far away, and so we zoomed off in a motorcycle into the Californian sunset.

      Later, it zoomed back to the diner, a tall, tan man walking out and two men standing there, looking at him and asking "Is there a Julian Romano here?" he replied with "Oh, yeah. She's in the third room." and then it showed a picture of an old Asian woman, now rich because of the two men. Then I woke up in a bout of daze and shock.


      This is by far one of the weirdest, most macabre dreams I've had.
      When my father was beating me up, I sometimes felt the pain of his hits.
      The name Julian Romano doesn't sound familiar at all to me.


      Perhaps, I really do hate my father and love my grandfather. Honestly though, I can't interpret this dream for the life of me.
    8. 08/03/11 Orphan, Harry Potter

      by , 08-03-2011 at 10:28 PM (New Dream Adventures of Raven Knight)
      Note: I am continuing to use the dream hypnosis programs, and from last night's dreams, it seems they are at least getting more interesting even if I haven't been lucid… One of the hypnosis programs I have is specifically for lucidity. I believe I will try that one next.

      I am on a street in a rather shabby looking neighborhood, it looks like the people there don't have a lot of money to keep the place looking nice. It does seem to me that there are things that could help it be nicer without spending money, though… I find a plastic bag and I start collecting recyclable trash that I find lying about. I can help clean the neighborhood and also help the environment by recycling… and if I find lots of aluminum, I might even be able to sell the cans and make a little money, too. With what feels like a win-win-win situation, I continue collecting trash. I am walking past a small house when the front door bursts open and a child comes running out, screaming.

      It is a young girl, looks to me like she is somewhere around 10 years old. She is screaming, and run straight to me, screaming something about someone trying to kill her. A man and a woman are following the child, they look about middle age, and the man grabs the girl. The mother says something about the girl always exaggerating, she's going to be grounded, not killed. But there is a look in the woman's eyes… and in the man's, too. A crazy look… these people are stark raving mad. They drag the screaming child back into the house. I'm not going to let this go, there is something very wrong happening here… do I have enough to call the cops? Probably. I look in my pocket for my cell phone… it's not there. Damn! Where is it? I certainly don't have time to go for help… I sneak up to the house and peek in a window. An empty kitchen. The door is unlocked. I carefully open it, I hear screaming inside, from down below. A basement. I go inside and follow the sounds of the screaming. I find the basement, which turns out to be a quite cozy and comfortable room, complete with a fireplace.

      There is a screen over the fireplace, and the girl is inside. The man and the woman are holding the screen in place, keeping the girl inside. The man cracks the screen just enough to throw in a match… the wood inside bursts into flames. Without even thinking about it, I telekinetically throw the man and the woman away from the screen, slamming them into the wall, hard. I spot a blanket on one of the chairs and use it to extinguish the fire on the girl. The woman is coming at me with a knife. I throw her back against the wall. When the girl came out of the fireplace, she had succeeded in spreading the fire to a couple other places including a rug and one of the chairs. The fire is quickly spreading. I take the girl and hurry upstairs and out of the house. I am on the lawn in front of the house looking at the girl, seeing that she has some serious burns, when the fire department arrives along with some paramedics. It seems someone called the fire department, what a quick response! A fireman asks me if anyone else is in the house. Just the crazy psychos who were trying to burn this girl alive… the fireman is shocked and sickened. The paramedics take the girl off to the hospital. In time the fire is put out. One of the fire fighters says they were unable to save the parents. I wonder if they really tried… I decide I don't really care. I wonder what hospital the girl was taken to. I want to see if she is ok.

      Harry Potter
      I am in school, it is a normal math class, and I am taking notes. This is math I have learned before, and I actually don't know why I am even in this class. It is a basic Algebra class.

      Since it is easy for me, my mind wanders off and I find myself doodling on my paper instead of taking notes. I am sketching a picture of one of the space ships from EVE Online, and then I start making some modifications. I think I am coming up with a rather cool looking space ship when I get caught.

      The teacher is walking up and down the aisles between the desks and sees me doodling instead of paying attention, and she gets mad. She says I should go to the principal's office. There is a boy sitting not far from me who apparently had the same ideas as I do, he was also doodling. The instructor tells him to go to the office with me… and is there anyone else who thinks they don't have to pay attention? Some students snicker, a couple hide what they have been doing. The boy and I leave the classroom and head for the principal's office. This all seems odd to me, I glance at my reflection and see it looks like I am about 10 or 11 years old… and that is the age the other students look to be. I look at the boy with me, he has thick dark hair, and when he brushes the hair from his eyes I see he has a strange scar on his forehead, like a lightning bolt. Harry Potter! He asks what I was drawing. I tell him, managing to not react to the fact I recognize him. He says he was drawing a castle. He says that class is so easy, and the instructor is so boring. I agree with him. The principal addresses him as Harry Potter, that's really his name? And she addresses me as Raven Knight… one afternoon of detention for both of us. Harry doesn't mind. He says maybe that means Dudley won't be waiting for him after school. Math was apparently the last class of the day, so we go to detention together, and spend the time doodling some more. Harry's drawing of a castle looks awesome. He also likes my space ship drawing. We leave detention and go to leave the school. There are four boys standing around the flagpole. Harry groans. I ask if he wants to come back to my place, I could show him some of my drawings, if he needs a good excuse, we can say we're studying. He seems unable to believe I invited him, he asks if I'm not worried Dudley will see me being nice to him. I say of course I'm not. We head in the opposite direction, taking a shortcut across the athletic field to get to my house. We go into an average looking house not far from the school. James Hetfield is waiting there to greet me.

      He smiles and asks who my friend is. He says his name is Harry, I say we met at school today… I skip the detention part. I introduce Hetfield as my father. I ask Harry if his parents won't be worried. He says his parents are dead, and the Dursleys sure won't worry… they may be hopeful that he got kidnapped or killed. But we call them anyhow. I talk to Mr. Dursley. Harry doesn't want to. I tell him Harry will be spending the rest of the afternoon at my place. He grunts. I say Harry's staying for dinner. He grunts again, and says Harry can move in with me for all he cares, then hangs up. I tell Harry he has permission to spend the night. Hetfield looks over at me, but doesn't say anything.
    9. 10/07/10 Orphan

      by , 10-09-2010 at 10:34 AM (New Dream Adventures of Raven Knight)
      I was walking down the sidewalk in a normal looking neighborhood, it looked to be a typical lower middle class neighborhood with homes that looked like they could be quite nice if they were kept up better. But whether due to lack of finances or to laziness, the necessary maintenance kept getting put off… I was somehow at least partially lucid, I realized I was dreaming, but that was about the extent of it. I wasn't thinking at all about my waking life any beyond that. I followed the sidewalk for a while, I figured I would soon find out why I had been brought to this particular place at this particular time. So far nothing looked out of place… a nice evening, the sun was setting, a gentle breeze was blowing, some dogs were barking, a cat darted across the road to the cover of some bushes on the far side. I just kept walking, listening and watching carefully for any sign of why I might be there.

      It didn't take long for me to find that out… As I was walking past one of the houses, I heard screaming inside, someone was being attacked. It sounded like a child screaming, but those weren't the screams of an angry child throwing a tantrum because she hadn't gotten what she wanted… those were screams of terror. I ran up to the door of the house, which was locked. There was more screaming from inside the house, though the screams sounded muffled by something now, I couldn't tell what. Since the door was locked, I just blasted it down with a blast of energy and went into the house anyway. The muffled screams were coming from the basement, there was another locked door there which I also broke down. There were three people in the basement. There was a little girl, appeared to be about ten years old, tied up and lying in a shallow hole which looked like a grave, there was a man standing on the far side of the hole holding a gas can, the flammable liquid was still pouring out of the spout onto the little girl in the grave. I could smell the gas from the base of the basement stairs. There was a woman standing by the side of the grave, she was holding a box of matches… it didn't take a detective to figure out what they were doing.

      I told them that the girl was coming with me, the woman seemed very upset by that, she told me to stay out of other people's business when I don't understand the situation. I said I understood the situation much better than they thought. Now step away from the pit, I was taking the girl with me. The woman said it was too late, quickly lit a match and tossed it into the pit at the girl. I telekinetically caught the match and knocked it away from the girl in the hole, making sure none of the gas fumes managed to ignite. I wondered if these people were really assholes or if they were only trying to kill the girl because they thought she was a demon… because they knew of the evil inside her… so I did a quick mental scan of the man, then I wished I hadn't. I got images of the couple's first child, a little boy, the father doing absolutely unspeakable things to the child and then the mother would tell the boy he was evil because of what the father had done to him… it was enough to make me sick. He had died when they had decided to punish him by burying him alive for a while to be alone with his claustrophobia and fear of the dark, but they had left him in there a bit too long and he had suffocated. If the girl was a demon, this couple definitely deserved her!

      The mother lit another match and threw it into the hole with the girl, I knocked it aside like I had the first one. This one, however, landed next to an empty gas can at the father's feet, but it apparently wasn't quite empty after all. A flame sprung up suddenly, taking both of them by surprise, and igniting the man's pants instantly since he was surely covered with at least the fumes from the gasoline. He saw the fire and started flailing around, which of course just made things worse, the woman seemed at a loss as to what to do about it… while that was going on I jumped down into the hole and untied the girl, giving her a boost out of the hole and then climbing out after her. The father was now completely engulfed in flames, screaming loudly in terror and pain, the mother was trying to use a blanket to put the fire out. All she accomplished was catching the blanket on fire. She threw the blanket down on the ground, but part of it flew back in her face and set her on fire as well. She responded to the fire about as well as the father had, by flailing around a lot. She fell to the ground and started rolling, which is what is supposed to help, but then she rolled into the hole where the girl had been… and into the puddle of gas there… and burst into flames.

      I picked the girl up and carried her out of the house, which was starting to burn quickly behind us. There was no way that house was up to fire safety codes… but that didn't really matter. I could hear sirens in the distance, apparently someone had called the fire department or the cops and emergency vehicles were coming. I quickly carried the girl away from the house and down into a dark alley where we wouldn't be found. The girl was acting like she was completely traumatized by the experience with her parents. I wasn't buying it, I could see from her energy signature that she wasn't in a truly traumatized state, I could also see that she had quite a bit of dark energy in her which was most likely the thing that was causing her to behave in an evil way… so basically she did have the energy of a demon. It seemed to me that if she could learn to control that energy, she would be able to focus it better and take care of people who deserve to be eliminated, like her parents had deserved to be eliminated. But that would take time, and I was about to wake up. This is where my recall of the dream ends, but as I woke up I heard Q saying he had brought the girl back to my inner world and set her up in a home in a separated part of my inner world, populated by DC's and anyone from my inner world that felt like visiting her. I remember hearing Q say that since I had wanted to bring her back, she was now my responsibility… congratulations, you adopted a ten year old demonic orphan!
    10. 08/16/10 The Hunted

      by , 08-30-2010 at 12:48 AM (New Dream Adventures of Raven Knight)
      I spent some time petting each dog, healing the ones who had injuries, but I was sure I would wake up soon. I wasn't ready, so I used Allura's time dilation method, there was still more to do here, but I will continue that in the next dream…

      So there I was in an alley of an unknown city, surrounded by an 11 dog pack of pit bulls, each of whom had been traumatized by the world of dog fighting, each of whom I had used telepathy to soothe them and convince them to trust me, each of whom had pent up pain they were struggling to control within them. They were used to that pain and tension, and they had always been forced to release it on each other even if they didn't want to, but maybe this time they could release that pain and rage on an appropriate target, on those who had hurt them in the first place… or someone like the ones who had hurt them since their cruel masters were all dead. I accessed the memories of the people I had consumed to find out that there were two other rival gangs in the near area, both of which were into dog fighting. In the area there were the Devil Dogs (whom I had just consumed), the Hellhounds, and the Mad Dogs. I thought those were ridiculous names considering that they were into dog fighting…

      So I headed out onto the streets, looking for one of the other two gangs, I was heading into Mad Dog territory, 11 dogs following after me… when I ran into Tigress. Tigress had her own pack of pit bulls following her. She said she had eliminated one of the gangs, calling themselves the Mad Dogs, and those were their dogs that were following her. I said that just left the Hellhounds, since I had taken care of the Devil Dogs and claimed their dogs. We both had the same idea. Set off a challenge to the Hellhounds to meet somewhere that they could be trapped inside and hunted at leisure. Since I already looked like one of the Devil Dogs, I figured I would drop off the challenge, that would make it look legitimate. So I took the biggest, meanest looking dog with me and went into Hellhound territory. I could sense the feelings in the dog by my side, he didn't want to fight, he would rather be curled up in a comfortable place getting a belly rub…

      I didn't get very far into Hellhound territory before I was met by a couple of guys who were trying too hard to be tough, which made them look more retarded than cool. Still trying to look cool, they walked over to me and said I had a lot of balls coming into Hellhound territory… too bad for me that I wouldn't be leaving. I told them I wasn't there to fight, I was there with a challenge, from the Devil Dogs to the Hellhounds, unless they were too cowardly to accept the challenge… They said no way, the Hellhounds aren't afraid of anything. I said if they are as tough as they pretend they are, meet us at the old warehouse by the pier, I got the idea of the warehouse from the memories of one of the Devil Dog members, meet us there in half an hour… it also seemed like that should be enough time for them to gather there. The one guy said that was a challenge I was going to regret. We parted ways, with me heading back to Devil Dog territory. I met up with Tigress and told her what I had set up, the warehouse consisted of a maze of crates and stuff, perfect for hunting the assholes down in.

      When Tigress and I got to the warehouse, the Hellhounds were already there. Tigress took all of the dogs around to the back entrance and let them inside, the place truly was a maze. One of the Hellhounds, who appeared to be the leader, asked me where the rest of us were, or if they had all chickened out. I said they were already inside the warehouse, of course. So unless they were all cowards, get inside and let the challenge begin. The leader wanted to know what was going on, I said the challenge was simple. If they aren't afraid, we were waiting for them somewhere in the maze, with only our dogs to fight with, so follow us in if they dared… I went into the warehouse, and after some discussion about being seen as cowards, the Hellhounds followed me in all except for a couple that stood guard at the door.

      So now there were a total of 12 gang members with dogs in the maze, as well as the dogs Tigress and I had taken from the other gangs, wandering around in the warehouse. Tigress and I split up, and one by one, we teleported the dogs with the gang members to safety so they wouldn't be in danger of being forced to fight. That led to much confusion among the Hellhounds, wondering if the Devil Dogs might be cheating by taking out their dogs before facing the Hellhounds themselves, so they were getting angrier as time went by and more of them found themselves without dogs. Then came the violence. Tigress and I didn't really have to do much, as I said, the dogs had pent up aggression, rage, and pain that they would be best off releasing at the right targets. So we were on top of the huge crates, mostly keeping an eye on things to be sure the dogs didn't get in danger during the fights. Mostly the dogs were pretty smart, they would gang up on one of the Hellhounds and strike so quickly that the asshole didn't have a chance to draw a gun or other weapon. One case a woman got a gun out and aimed at a dog, so I used TK to take the gun from her before she could shoot the dog. The dog went for the jugular, tearing it open and spraying blood everywhere. The dog, a male, lifted his leg and peed on the corpse. I couldn't stifle a snicker.

      I could hear all the screaming around me, screaming from the people, snarling and barking of dogs, but the sound was fading as time went on… there were fewer and fewer screams as there were fewer and fewer remaining Hellhounds. I wondered if Tigress was killing any of them or if she was letting the dogs do it all. The only ones I was thinking about were the ones at the entrance, so I went back to the entrance and pulled an Ezio… I formed a hidden blade on each arm and knifed them both at the same time before they even noticed I was there… a double assassination… sweet. They fell to the ground, and their dogs just sat there looking at me as if they didn't really give a shit, which considering how they'd been treated, they probably didn't. A short bit later Tigress came from the other side of the warehouse, already outside, with a large pack of dogs following her. She said there had been a couple of assholes guarding the back door, probably looking to catch any Devil Dogs trying to escape, but they were dead now. The pack of dogs around us had grown considerably, Tigress said maybe we should take these guys home, I agreed that Angelina could take care of them best. So I opened a portal to my inner world and we sent all of the dogs through to Angelina.

      Tigress asked if I wanted to find some more, I said sure, and Nomad had said he was going to join us sometime… she said that was cool, but Nomad could find me when he was ready, she knew where there were more assholes. She teleported both of us to another place, though it didn't look much different than the last one. If you've seen one crappy area of town, you've seen them all… Tigress pointed in one direction and said they were over there, but then she vanished… I felt like I might wake up, so I focused, I used another time dilation… that time I felt really disoriented, I almost lost the dream, but finally it stabilized and I was able to continue…
    11. Warning! Mature content. Pimp..mob and trying to get out.

      by , 08-26-2010 at 04:47 AM (Visions of the night)
      *Mature Content*


      In my dream I was a supposed "call girl" strange but that is who I was. I was in another state outside behind a building .. there were big fancy cars rolling in and out. I was standing there with other girls dressed up in a tiny skirt and heels. This guy walks up to us and he seems smooth but immediately I knew he was the pimp. He had lots of tattoos too. He was being very nice to me and hugging up on me.. guess I was the main one. Eventually in my dream he begins to act cold to me. This mobster guy pulls up and wants me to get in the car.. I am hesitate and turn to my pimp who is being mean to me. He told me it is business and I need to hurry up and stop fucking around. I am still hesitate and don't want to get in the car I turn to the pimp and say " I love you.." He gets pissed and the guy in the car drives away. Now I am getting my arm grabbed and find myself thrown against an iron fence and this pimp is screaming at my face. I tell him I want out but he is not listening but getting violent with me. He starts hitting me and I am on the ground the other girls are running trying to help me back up telling this pimp to chill out. I just didn't care and felt this strong connection with this pimp.

      I am sitting in this large home guess it was his too and watching a huge t.v screen.. he is walking around staring at me and fixing some drinks on the bar table. I turn back to the television and see he is on the screen performing.. guess he was an entertainer/rapper too. I feel very sad and a bit scared too.. girls are crowding around and rubbing on him and I sense this jealousy rage through me. I look to my right and see this girl from my past who use to be my best friend and we embrace one another hugging. I know the girl was with the pimp too .. I told her I want out so she starts trying to sneak me to the door and I am following.. the pimp turns my way yelling telling me to get back in and orders some guy to take care of the guest that were there. This pimp grabs my arm and pushing me towards the back room.. there I start telling him I want to leave.. he blast music and motions me over to the balcony. We talk and he apologizes I feel safe again and we are kissing heavily.. he had me pinned to the wall.. eventually I am laying on the bed and he is doing oral on me.. there is this knock on the door.. scene switches and I find myself in the bathroom and the girls are telling me the pimp doesn't get intimate with any of the girls like that and when he does it usually means he is going to finish them off.. kill them.
      I start to panic again and hear my name.. weird thing is it was not my name.. the name he called started with either a B or an R from what I can remember.. and when I had looked in the mirror passing the hall I saw that it was not my body but belonged to a more slender girl with red and black hair.. I tried looking at the face but couldn't make out any features..

      hmmm wonder if there is really a girl out there in trouble with their pimp.. interesting dream had to write it down.
      Tags: abuse, call girl, mob, pimp
      lucid , non-lucid , memorable
    12. Abuse

      by , 08-13-2010 at 06:46 AM
      It started when I went on a stakeout with some girl to see if a certain woman went to see some sort of weird sex movie. Afterward I went and sat in something we called a car. After everyone left there was this moving platform of scientists testing on lab rats that moved into the parking lot. This I had seen in another dream before...

      My brothers and I went to live with the SAME woman we saw at the theater.

      I knew something was up. We slept in a hotel like setting all together. Shepard, cam, Hudson and I in one bed and the old woman in the other.

      It seemed like the others were completely clueless but I saw that she was abusive, physically and verbally. At one point I got the chance to call Mom & Dad and ask them to come visit they did but all they did was drive by the house and wave. I tried to call them again and again but I kept mis-dialing.

      At one point I took the home phone outside and hid it somewhere in the yard so I could get to it later. But when I threw it into a pile of stuff, I lost it. I dug through it and found a bunch of money and A LOT of keys one of the keys was giant and had three tips.. I look to my left and see the phone is in the red plastic bin.

      I overhear the woman say "Where's Ryker?" I quickly pick up everything and then run around to the other side of the house and peek into a screen window where I find her cooking dinner, this kitchen and window seemed to be an exact re-creation of my neighbor's window and kitchen! "I'm right here!" I shout. It is at this point when I get a chance to REALLY see her gross pruned skin. I ask her if I can go to my friends house, she replies with an "ooh, alright"-like tone but still allows me to go.

      I start walking down the street, I pass a small African American girl named "Tanya" on my way. The whole time I'm walking, I am on the phone trying to dial my parents cellphone number correctly. After what seems like ages of walking, I take a right and before I know it, I am in a place that doesn't look like my town at all. I look down a hill, I see the yellow "Round-Up" building in the distance and the church that is supposed to be on mainstreet is about a block away.

      I recalled overhearing the fact that the phone I was holding used to belong to that church, so I decide to walk closer to the church, I hear yelling and pounding within it.

      It is at this point the dream ends... I wish I could continue the story, but unfortunately I woke up...
      Tags: abuse, church, phone
      non-lucid , nightmare
    13. Crippled, then able to fly.

      by , 05-08-2010 at 06:45 PM (Visions in the Dark)
      Dream starts off in a center for the physically disabled somewhere in the United States. There are many young people there who have some form of physical disability but they also are all conscious and able to communicate. I have recently been admitted and though a am conscious I am unable to talk or anything and my entire body is paralyzed. I am a mystery case for the facilatators of the home because I did not have any identification on me when admitted and they do not know how to contact any relatives. There are three people who work there. The owner of the organization: a black haired man man in his mid thirties, a light-brown haired female attendant in her mid fourties and a blond male attendant also in his mid fourties.

      I am put in a wheelchair and rolled into a amplitheater room with a big screen and there is a nature movie or documentary playing. The other disabled teens try to talk to me and though I can hear them, I am unable to respond. After the movie is over the other teen are returned to their rooms but the attendants and I am the last to go. For some reason the female attendant doesn't like me and she dumps me out of my wheelchair onto the floor down a little used hall, where I lay all night and most of the next day.

      During the night my spirit is able to leave me body and I can float around the center and watch things going on. While the owner is in his office the two attendants retreat to an office on the other side of the building and start drinking alcohol and doing drugs. After the owner leaves the intoxicated female attendant rifles through the owner's officer looking for something. There is a part of the dream involving elevators on the outside of the building leading to secret top for rooms or something but the dream is fuzzy and I cannot remember much.

      The next day a female inspector arrives unannounced and find me laying on the floor in the back hall. The male attandant is perplexed but the female attandant denies all knowledge of anything and tries to blame me for faking my vegatable state and when that doesn't work she claims one of the other disabled teens must have done it, even though it would be physically impossible for them, literally.

      Even after all this I am still left on the floor as the center continues with it's activities as normal. The attendants ignore me but some of the disabled teens try to protest on my behalf, but to no avail. I am still out of my body and my spirit still floats around. That night my spirit follows the female attendant after her intoxicated fling with the make attandant, into a room in the basement which has a big decorated door at the other end.

      She goes through the door and it opens up into a grand baroque design dining hall where many tables are elegantly set for many guests. The ceiling is very high and huge bay windows let lots of light in as if it were the middle of the day. Between the tables and leading to other rooms is a set of traintracks for a train about 1/3 the size of the real thing. At the large table in the center of the room sits North Korean leader Kim Jong-il with his entourage. His followers are singing praises to their leader and a little Korean girl in gymnastic tights is dancing on the table.

      The female attandant whom I followed in spirit begins putting wine galsses on the tables and is pouring wine for everyone as more guests arrive. The new guests are wither Korean or Caucasian but all seem happy to be in the presence of Kim Jong-il. There are several other servants and one woman and man are giving people wine filled glasses but for some reason they keep putting the glasses on the table upside down and spilling the wine all over the guests, though no one seems bothered by this. A train suddenly appears from another room and pulls up in front of Kim Jong, who boards it along with many of his guests, and it starts weaving along the tracks and around the room, and eventually to other rooms which are also in the baroque style and as elegantly decorated.

      My spirit follows unnoticed by everyone except the North Korean leader who starts yelling at me to come closer and teach him how to fly. His entourage ignore their leader's yelling at seemingly thin air as drunken rambling and continue singing his praises. I fly above the train for a while but it sudden exits the building and stops on a high hill over looking a forest. My spirit transforms into a dark brown eagle or hawk and I start flying out over the forest. King Jong-il transforms into a Bald Eagle and follows.

      I dip through tree branches and swerve in and out of thickets trying to lose my follower but he is able to stay on my tail. The forest gives way to a city with many tall buildings and skyscrapers and I easily sail over top of them while Kim Jong seems to have trouble maintaining the same amount of hight, though he is able to keep pace with me by flying around the tall buildings and not over them.

      He tries to talk to me about one of his sons, but I am too busy enjoying the freedom of flying and I ignore him. The city ends and an ancient forests will trees as tall as skyscrapers appears and I fly low through their thick trunks. There are stick and mud huts built in some of the trees and I can see primitive people living there. They come out of their little houses or stop working to watch me fly by. Somewhere along the way I have lost the Kim Jong bald eagle but I think little of it and keep flying. The ancient forest eventually gives way to beautiful snow capped mountains and a pristine, sparkling lake.

      The dream ends there.
    14. The Artistic Princess

      by , 10-07-2006 at 06:23 AM (Visions in the Dark)
      (There is a "trigger warning" on the content of this dream.)

      This dream is so long and detailed that I cannot believe that I have remembered so much of it. It takes place in a large castle that sit in the middle of a huge field. The landscape is mostly flat plains with a few hilly areas and small forests scattered about. There is a shallow river that runs behind the castle and a dirt road that runs almost parallel to the river, but in front of the castle instead of behind. The castle is also surround by huge stone walls (which in turn sorround a small moat) and has some areas within the yard that are "forbidden" and closed off for some reason.

      When the dream starts I am the King's youngest child and only daughter. I have long flaxen colored hair and wear a white and blue dress and a dark blue cape. I am betrothed to be married to a prince and he short with medium length black hair and a fierce temperment. Prince Rolgan, as I think he was called, was living with us in the castle until we marry, but he all but ignores me and kisses ass to my father. As the princess I was not allowed to venture outside the castle walls alone (as it is "dangerous" in the outside world) so I spent a portion of my time trying to figure out ways to break into the sealed off "forbidden" areas, as I was curious to see what they contain before I have to leave when I marry.

      As I am crossing the main bridge that goes over the moat in the front of the castle when I run into some children from a nearby village. They beg me to teach them how to paint. They each give me a small bundle of fine-quality paint brushes and I accept these modest gifts happily. I spend a few hours with the children teaching brushstroke techniques (something I have been practicing myslef in waking life), until the sun hangs low in the sky. Before it starts to get dark I call for my personal carriage and tell the driver to take the children home. As the carriage leaves there is a window of opportunity for me to climb over the fence of one of the forbidden areas. The guards were busy seeing the carriage out the front gate and did not notice me jump onto a vine and climb over.

      The small closed off area on the inside was strewn with garbage and debris. Part of the moat went through the area but there was no bridge leading to the other side where I could see some sort of fort or hut made out of sticks and peices of fabric. The water was very cold and dirty, but shallow enough for me to walk across. As I walked through the water my dress caught on something. At first I though was a caught on a stick but when I yanked hard enough to free my dress, a long white bone floated to surface. I stared at it in shock for a moment, before I quickly ran to the other side. It was only then that I noticed there were bones and skulls all over the place as well as garbage. The inside of the little hut had skeletons piled upon each other and most of them were skewered with weapons that the King's soldiers used.

      I had seen enough and wanted to leave, but I could not get back over by way of the vine as it seemed to have disappeared. It was getting dark now and the only way out was by slipping under the fence where it went over the moat - but first I had to move garbage and bones out of the way. On the other side the water was warm and clean and dipped down a little in a mini waterfall sort of thing. I was almost directly underneath the main castle bridge that went over the moat. At the edge of the small waterwall, standing waist deep in the moat was a young girl who seemed to be looking for something.

      As I approached the young girl she looked up at me. It was then that I saw a man with a long flowing cloak standing against the side of the main bridge, looking in my direction. I ignored him and asked the young girl who she was. She said her name was "Galia" (or something like that) and I asked if she had a sister, as the named seemed somewhat familiar to me. The young girl said yes, that her sister's name was "Egalia" (or something like that. I am not sure if I am remembering the exact names but I do know that they rhymed) and that she had been at the castle earlier. Galia then lifted something out of the water and offered it to me. It was a bundle of paint brushes, but unlike the brushes the other children gave me they were not fine-quality. Instead they seemed very old and worn, but I accepted them anyway as the young girl had a very hopeful look on her face. The man leaning against the bridge called out that the brushes were not any good, but I just ignored him because I was annoyed that he was eavedropping. Galia said that she knew the brushes were not good but they were the only things she had to offer. I tell her that I can reuse the handles and make new brushes from them, which seems to make her happy.

      I take Galia by the hand and we wade to the shore. The man with the cloak approaches and helps us out of the water. Even though it is almost dark I can see his face now and he is very handsome. He has long blond hair, deep blue eyes and elf ears. (He looks exactly like Legolas as protrayed by Orlando Bloom from Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings films.) He tells me that every guard in the castle is looking for me. I blush and hurriedly thank him for his help and take off towards the main castle gate, with poor Galia in bewildered tow. I am rushed to the throne room where my father, the King, lectures me about going off on my own and how worried he was about me, all the while I am still holding onto Galia for some reason. My fiance, Prince Rolgan, and my brothers all stand beside the throne and glare at me disapprovingly, but I am unnaffected because I do not care what they think. Just then a guard comes in and announces the arrival of an elf prince. While the king and princes recieve the Legolas clone I stalk off to my private chamber, promising Galia that I would take her home tomorrow and that she could sleep in my room for the night.

      Later that night there is some sort of dinner reception going on and I have to attend, which would not bother me except that I have to face the elf-prince again. I try to ignore him and fawn over my fiance but as usual he is ignoring me and kissing ass to the king. I do care for Rolgan at this point in the dream, but only because it seems so far that I have no choice because marrying him is my only option for the future. At some point during the socializing, the elf prince corners me and asks me what I was doing in the moat and what I think of my future husband. Before I can answer (but not before I blush again) Prince Rolgan comes over and says that we are retiring for the night, before leading me to my chamber. He doesn't say a word to me (or even look at me), drops me off at my chamber door and heads to his own.

      When he dissapears I hear a smash from down the hall. I run towards the sound and I find that a servant has broken something in the dinning room. There is broken glass all over the floor underneath a small table with a yellow tablecloth. I kneel down to assist the servant cleaning up the mess, but something I cannot see pushes me from behind and I fall forward onto the pile of broken glass. I put my arms out in front of me to break my fall but I cut my hands severely. I panic and run to Prince Rolgan's chamber, crying and covered in blood, but when he opens the door he just scoffs at me and calls for the castle doctor. He lets it be known that his is not pleased that I have interupted him and shows no concern what-so-ever for my well-being. When he is speaking with a guard I glance into his room and see a woman I do not know laying naked on his bed. She just sneers at me and stretches out, flaunting how confortable she is on my future husbands bed.

      The doctors come and take me to the windowless medical room where they remove the glass and bandage my hands. Rolgan just goes back into his room, not knowing that I have seen his secret lover. No one comes to visit me in the room and I am told to stay there even when the doctors leave. Overwhelmed by everything that has happened that day (finding the skeletons in the forbidden place, cutting up my hands, and realizing that Rolgan doesn't care for me) I start sobbing uncontrollably. I hear the door open and someone wraps there arms around me. At first I though it was Galia or the King but when I open my eyes in turns out to be the elf prince. He doesn't say anything but just lets me cry on his shoulder. At some point I fall asleep on the lone, small cot in the medical room.

      I have a dream (a dream within a dream!) of sneaking out of the castle and riding a horse along the river that runs behind the castle. It's a beautiful clear blue day and I run into the elf prince. He finds my "escape" amusing and calls me daring and brave. There is a bit more to this dream-within-a-dream but I cannot recall anymore at this time.

      The next day I find out that the elf prince has gone home. I tell the King about Rolgan's apathy towards me and the woman I saw in his room and, to my surprise, the King breaks off the engagement and throws Rolgan out of the castle. I am somewhat relieved that I do not have to marry anymore, but new anxieties about my future arise. I pass the day trying to show Galia how to reuse paint brush handles and make new brushes, but it is all but impossible with my bandaged hands. Later in the day I call for my personal carriage and go with Galia to take her home. I am hoping that getting off of the castle grounds will help alleviate some of my anxieties.

      After seeing Galia home my carriage is surround by heavily armoured men on black horses on the road back to the castle. They kill the driver and my guards and drag me to a black carriage that has stopped just behind mine. I get thrown in and land at the feet of Rolgan, who sexually abuses me while on route back to his castle. I get thrown into a tower cell that is empty except for a small narrow window and an old dirty matress on the floor. Left without food and water for what seemed like a forever I was crying when Prince Rolgan returned and raped me and I cannot defend myself at all because of my disabled hands. He eventually leaves and drops a small morsel of food on the floor.

      I don't eat, I just cry and give into despair. I do not know how long I am trapped in the tower when I feel someone lift me up and begin to carry me. In my half-unconscious, half-starved daze I cannot tell who it is. There are the bodies of the heavily amoured men laying all about and I snap to full consciousness when whoever is carrying me passes the bloodied body of Prince Rolgan. He is so freshly dead that his blood is still steaming. When we finally exist the castle I can get a clear look at my rescuer - it's the elf prince! Woo hoo! He just smiles softly at me.

      The dream becomes fuzzy here as I struggle against consciousness but alas I fail and awaken. And I was hoping for some steamy elven sexual healing, dammit.

      Updated 08-21-2011 at 09:52 AM by 6048

      non-lucid , nightmare , memorable