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    1. Monday, August 3

      by , 11-30-2020 at 07:23 AM
      I am in or near downtown with Melissa and Brooke, going into a restaurant. The place is somewhat small and modern looking (sparse décor and a simple counter). The long counter is along the right hand wall, perpendicular to the doors. There are menus above the counter and then seating across from the counter. It’s fairly crowded and I don’t notice any masks (it almost feels like there is no need for it in the dream, as if it’s pre-Covid). We shuffle in and a man comes over to take our order. None of us are ready; he tells us to move somewhere else while we look?, I think to maintain some kind of social distancing. We’re now seated in a booth. I think I’m irritated at Melissa/the situation unjustly, because we weren’t ready. A larger, bald? server comes over and sits at our booth to take our order. Nobody seems ready, still. I sort of grumpily volunteer to go first. I had been thinking of a scotch that sounded good, but couldn’t think of the name. I thought it started with an ‘H’ and even googled ‘Scotch that starts with H’. I noticed Melissa glancing at my phone as I held it somewhat under the table. I never found out what I was thinking of. I tell him “I’ll have a scotch, please. Neat.” hoping he won’t ask which kind or planning to say McCallan 12 year. After a moment he says something like ‘I heard if you put some Amber in it, it’ll make it weak… like Sisolak’. I realize he heard ‘weak’ instead and nicely tell him ‘no, neat’. Melissa is now casually mentioning that Sam plans to break up with her tomorrow over text/FaceTime? She says she’s fine with it and sounds it too. She’s now telling me she got the job at a pizza place. I tell her I’m happy for her. I see a picture of a pizza divided into the 7 days and ask if she’ll have to work every day. She says no.
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    2. Magic guitar man Martin and bad dad

      by , 09-26-2020 at 03:32 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm in a big hall with my family. I see an audience and Martin (Kajsa's Martin) holds a guitar and is playing. He suddenly takes the guitar in one of his hands and stretches it out. While he stands there holding in his guitar, he is simultaneously playing with the fingers of that hand. It looks amazing and I am astounded. He is playing some kind of Cmaj7 chord by the look of his hand (Barre at the third fret) but it sounds like a regular C chord. I take another guitar and tries to do the same thing. It looks like a six-string guitar but it feels like a twelve-string guitar when I hit the strings.

      Notes: I heard Martin would see us yesterday.

      I've been drinking alcohol and am intoxicated. Dad is drinking alcohol and is laying in a bed. Me and mom is complaining at him but he is just dodging us. Mom asks him why he would have kids if he would turn up like this.

      Notes: Me and dad is not drinking alcohol at all. I saw my friends drinking yesterday. Maybe that was why.

      Updated 10-19-2020 at 09:43 PM by 97565

      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. Wednesday, June 17

      by , 06-24-2020 at 04:48 AM
      I am in a convenience store with Melissa. We’re walking up to the registers, me with a giant bottle of Jack Daniels, her with a giant jug of some pink wine. A guy walks up to one of the empty registers to take us. He’s a little older than us and seems kind of shady. He keeps his head down and says nothing but “IDs.” We show ours; mine is fine, but apparently he has a problem with hers. He slides her a binder in which I think she has to write down a reference? She writes down “Daddi”, who I think is a real person. He then gives her another paper, i guess this one an acknowledgement that she’s not kidding around. She raises her eyebrows at it, slowly writing in big letters, ‘okay’ where her name should go. Now I think he’s making her do another reference. I think she writes ‘Victor’, who, again, I know is a real person. I take it out of her hands and shove it back to him, angrily saying something like ‘no, he’s a real fucking person.’ The guy is now off doing something else, and I watch him from the corner of my eye as I tear out, fold up, and slide into my pocket one of the sheets for a humorous keepsake. I don’t think Melissa wanted me to do it, but I adeptly did it with one hand and without getting caught. Now we are walking into Dad’s house for a get together. I put the Jack Daniels in the fridge, right at home among the other bottles of Brandy, Scotch, etc. I know everyone brought their own, and I feel jealous and somewhat regretful because I don’t even really like Jack Daniels. There are only a few people here so far. One is a lady with short blond hair who announces that she’s leaving really quick because something’s going on with her son. Now we’re sitting around a table, and they’ve made a drink out of the Jack Daniels. I think it has Red Bull and some kind of spice. I’m glad that they like it.
      Tags: alcohol, store
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    4. Monday, March 23

      by , 03-28-2020 at 10:30 PM
      I am outside with Melissa, alongside what looks like Geiger Grade. We are on the north side, and it almost looks like it did before all the construction. I think we are walking on stilts. She wants to cross to the other side right now, but I look back and see cars coming. We just wait until the intersection, which was very close anyway. Now, we are in what feels like a very large garage. There are a few inches of water on the ground and partitions about every foot, hanging down with several inches of clearance above the ground. Melissa is somehow going above them, but I choose to go below. I simply hold my breath as I pass under each partition. I think I have fins on and I notice the ease with which they allow me to move through the water, enabling me to clear at least two partitions at a time.




      I am going to some work dinner. I’m arriving at the same time as a blond girl that I guess works with me but that I don’t really know. The hostess asks her how many, and she replies ‘one.’ I’m a little put off, as we seem to be the first ones and I thought she would just get a table for all, but I guess not. When she returns and asks me, I tell her ‘two’ in case Melissa is coming. She seats me at a glossy, wooden, rectangular table next to a wall. There are a few open seats but there are also 2-3 Asian boys and Anthony from jewelry. He seems slightly surprised to see me, and I feel likewise. I say hi. I’m going to introduce myself to the others, but I think I let too much time pass to where it would now be awkward. I’m now sitting at a different table with Brooke. The waitress has not been over in a long time; when she does come over, she grabs some dishes and makes no intimations of offering further service, so I take it upon myself to ask for a glass of water and a Macallan 12 year, neat. Brooke also asks for something. She says okay and walks off. I am eating tiny, raw eggs, breaking off a part of the shell to get to the contents.
    5. Monday, January 13

      by , 01-14-2020 at 06:34 AM
      I think I’m at either Matt and Sara’s or Opa’s house. It seems to be a family gathering. There also seems to be some tension between Matt and Sara. I find Sara alone and ask what’s going on. She tells me that she’s pregnant but Matt won’t stop drinking. Sure enough, I look over and see him holding what looks like a glass of whisky.




      I am on a promenade along the river. I think some of the family is here too. I also can’t shake the feeling that this place is very familiar somehow.
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    6. Sunday, December 22

      by , 12-23-2019 at 07:38 PM
      I am at Nathaniel’s, watching him for a while. I’m lying on my back, with my legs straight up, him balancing his torso horizontally on my feet and holding my hands to balance. He seems to be having fun, and his personality is just as I remember it. Now, his dad is here, and he is just as nice as I remember him too.




      I am walking into what I think is a huge Walmart. As I walk in, I am cognizant of my middle parted hair hanging almost to my shoulders. I’ve decided that I am growing it out again and am pretty happy with this resolution. I also remember asking Makayla and her saying I should. I think I am going in here for a Christmas gift. I think I’ll look in the kitchen aisle for Mom and then I think for Melissa too. I end up not even finding the aisle, but end up by the cases of water. Everything looks like it is in bulk. I also notice bulk sized jugs of different tequilas and vodkas for around $10. One is called ‘Jimmy John’s Vodka’, which I think cannot be that good. I then get the idea to look at the beer, just to see what they have. There is a somewhat small selection on a few shelves, but then I notice that it is labeled ‘non alcoholic’. I step out into the wide and long main aisle (almost the size of a street) and notice a guy coming towards me on a bike. I started stepping into his path, but then wait for him to pass. I think I am also aware of my eyesight and how it is not that good. I have found the beer aisle now, which seems to be mostly six packs of cans in cardboard boxes. Nothing really looks that appealing. One says ‘Finally Harvest Time’ and has a graphic of a moon and the silhouette of a person. I think that can’t be that good either. Now, I am by some food products and wonder if I should just grocery shop while I am here. I don’t have a basket, but I can carry a few things. I am looking at the breads, thinking about what I would use them for. There is one that looks like four large pretzel rolls. I then notice the same package in someone’s cart, and the bottoms of the rolls look slightly burned. At the end of the aisle now, I see a large, circular, plastic container of frozen chicken tenders. There seems to be three groups, each arranged around a thing of sauce? The label indicates that it is a Phil Lesh brand, which I think is cool. I pick it up, contemplating getting it, but put it back because it’s really big. Then, I hear Phil himself over the intercom, saying that it’s my last chance if I was thinking about getting those. His voice is calm and monotonous, which makes it sort of humorous.
    7. Sunday, June 9

      by , 06-27-2019 at 08:54 PM
      I am at 10 Torr for a celebration for one of the cousin’s graduation. This place looks similar, but not exactly the same. It seems to be a little smaller and a bit more homey. It’s still a square room but has more of a kitchen vibe due to the counter and the décor. It also seems to be wrapping up; Aly is behind the counter, putting things away. It seems like nobody is left at this point. I was going to try one more drink, but I’ll be fine without it. Mom is sitting with me at the counter. It looks like it’s going to be closed now, but then a 20-something year old guy shows up behind the bar. It seems they’re now open or regular business. Two girls, maybe in their late 20s or early 30s, are already taking a seat at the bar. The guy looks to them, looking a little disheveled. The girl closer to me starts ordering something with orange/grapefruit juice, but the girl by her completely cuts her off, ordering something with the same juice but a little more specific. The guy doesn’t seem to care; he lets her finish and then turns to the first girl to let her finish. The first girl waits a moment and then makes a snide comment to the other. The guy is now looking to us. I notice two small, empty glasses on the counter in front of us, and it worries me for a moment, making me think for some reason that Mom might have a drink. I ask for ‘just a coffee liqueur and vodka’, oddly self conscious of my voice. Mom orders something kind of specific that I’ve never heard of; it sounds like some kind of mock tail. The drinks come out quickly, and it looks like they’re in small white bowls and not glasses. Mom’s looks like a strawberry ice cream or really frothy strawberry milk topped with whipped cream and a slice of banana. Mine looks like it has cream in it and then it tastes like it does too. When the guy comes back over I assertively but kindly tell him what it was supposed to be, and he fixes it. I now try Mom’, and it does seem nonalcoholic. Her face looks a little sad to me. Melissa has been waiting in a car outside, and I’ve been texting her. She’s being kind of sassy. I’m not sure why she’s just been waiting out there. I look outside and briefly see her and it looks like she’s changed into a pajama shirt.



      (fragment) I am outside and climbing/ scrambling around on some granite boulders all together and overlapping one another. I hear Kat? narrating like Jon (or Luke Larson?) is climbing, though it’s definitely just me here. She is sort of talking it up and pointing out the danger of the boulders being right behind you. I am in street shoes and sort of pulling on some holds and playing with different moves. The grainy holds are pretty decent and slightly chalked. I don’t think it’s even completely vertical, and I don’t think it’s all that hard. I think the boulder behind you is close enough that you could put out a leg or arm and stop yourself before you would fall into it. This small boulder field slowly turns into the top of a backyard. I’m standing on top of the smaller boulders with Kat, looking toward the house. There is a small, neat lawn and a few neat trees nearer the house. The house also gives the impression of being neat.



      (fragment) I am at work with Laynie and a small group has done a grab and run out of the door 18 emergency exit. We catch up with them in the stairwell. It’s about 3-4 teens or preteens. One of the girls is reminiscent of the blond 13 year old girl that was taking pictures of herself doing gang signs. She sort of talks back, but ultimately we are in control. We are being hard on them but they seem to not get it. I think we have them out in the parking lot.



      (fragment) I’m with Scott and Tyson? downtown when they see something going on through a hotel room. We are going to go in to see what’s going on. These hotel rooms seem to be in an overpass that we are walking under. I don’t like not being able to see and not really know what’s going on. I think it has to do with a shooting or someone with a gun.
    8. Cold Water Casino

      by , 05-15-2019 at 03:06 AM (The Fourth Factor)
      I’m on a trip with my parents and an unfamiliar young man. We were all supposed to go to a casino—and they did actually go. But I didn’t care much for that plan, and so I’ve been off doing something else and only arrived back at the hotel room in time for their last trip there, late on the final evening.

      I have the impression that this is a place they’re familiar with, but this will be my first time there. I’ve been told not to bring my purse with me for whatever reason, but I don’t like going around without writing materials on hand, and so I say that I’ll just take my wallet out before I go. But it seems my parents are so eager to get back that, rather than waiting the couple of minutes this will take, they go on without me, leaving the young man to drive us there.

      Outside, it’s raining hard, and has been for a while, judging by all the standing water in the streets. As we go on, it only gets deeper, until the car, which is a fairly low one, starts having trouble moving forward. Some light on the dashboard has come on. He curses at the car—and quite probably my parents, who would have had no trouble handling this in theirs. I suggest that we just pull off the road onto higher ground, as some other cars seem to be doing, and walk the rest of the way there. It isn’t very far. He agrees to it.

      The next part I remember clearly is being inside the casino, in a large room with a grand staircase, crowded with fancily dressed people. On the upper floor, near a restaurant area, I meet up with my parents again. It’s sort of like a buffet, with tables in a horseshoe shape, each one with an attendant behind them, offering samples of various kinds of foods to the guests. Mother is going to get a chocolate milkshake—apparently, a favorite of hers there—but my father isn’t interested. The idea doesn’t appeal much to me either, and anyways, this is all new to me: I want to try things out before I order anything.

      He heads off somewhere else. I get some kind of a soup, and then head over to where they’re serving white wine. I try the sample they have there, which is pretty good—but they have all kinds of interesting drinks here, and this would be a good chance to try things I wouldn’t necessarily want a full glass of. And my mother is trying to get my attention from across the room, so I leave the table without ordering anything and head over in her direction.

      Then, suddenly, I feel a spray of cold water—and the people around me do as well, judging by how they’re crying out. It seems someone is spraying people with a hose. I move out of the way, wondering what that was about. Maybe the casino staff themselves are responsible. The whole reason this place exists is to take money from people, after all—I think it’s best not to lose sight of that—and it wouldn’t surprise me at all for one to start charging people to keep things going nicely, once they’ve got them used to it.

      Once out of range, I pause and kneel down to make sure the cat is still with me. He is indeed still there and comes to get pet. He’s an orange cat, an adult, though on the small side, and has been here with me this whole time. So far, nobody has noticed him—or else they just don’t care. But it’s still a little dangerous for him to be here with me, and so I’ve been making sure he stays close, waiting until I feel him against the back of my ankles before moving on.

      11.5.19
      Categories
      non-lucid
    9. Wednesday, March 20

      by , 03-22-2019 at 03:06 AM
      I am up at Lake Tahoe, I think with Mom and Melissa. We’re hanging out, then I think Mom says something about getting drinks (Melissa and me) while they’re cheap, on happy hour, etc. I look up to the second story balcony area where there is a man making drinks, and it isn’t that crowded. I figure I might as well go and get some just so we have them before it gets crowded. I discuss it with Melissa and she agrees. As I start off, I realize I didn’t ask what she wants, but figure it’s probably a vodka sprite. I don’t know what I’m in the mood for, but one of those does sound refreshing on the beach. I start climbing up/down some wooden wrap around table on a deck and realize I am right by some guy trying to eat. I realize it’s pretty rude and move. I now start one way, look at the lake, realize it’d be a very long way to get to the other side, and start the other way. I realize it’d be the same thing this way. Then I see a little path that sort of goes down the middle and onto the beach and start following it. It looks cloudy over the lake.
      Tags: alcohol, lake, water
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    10. Saturday, December 29

      by , 01-19-2019 at 10:41 PM
      I am outside, at what seems to be a beach, with Melissa, Brooke, and possibly Breezy. It is dark out, and there seems to be some sort of smaller event going on. There are some tables and bar counters, etc. I break off from them to go buy some shots, unannounced. I’m not really sure what to go; after talking to the bartender, I end up with two shots of ‘something fruity’. I can smell it, and it is fruity. I take them back to give to Melissa, but Brooke grabs them and takes them both at the same time. I’m now in a different area. There’s a nicely dressed guy here buying a bottle of something. I’m worried about money, but then remind myself to live a little. A bottle of fine German Riesling for only $126, he remarks, as if that’s a steal. I agree, but then start to think I’ve seen that for less.
      Tags: alcohol, beach, wine
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    11. Wednesday, December 26

      by , 01-10-2019 at 04:22 AM
      I am in a room with Melissa, Alex, and their aunt Janet. The room seems large, dim, and empty. The walls look black. Despite this description, it doesn’t really convey any negative emotion. The three of them are huddled around, each holding some type of nozzle. Alex tells me to hurry and come over; he’s also counting down from 3. I hesitate, but go over in just enough time. I am handed a tube with a white, square nozzle. Everyone has one and starts drinking from theirs. I start drinking (the liquid seems to come out of one of the corners), and it is red wine. I realize they’re chugging a wine cooler (I see the box that the bag’s in). I’d rather have a glass, but go along with it. I don’t drink a ton though, as I have no desire to get drunk. Janet doesn’t stop for quite some time.
      Tags: alcohol, wine
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    12. Tuesday, December 25

      by , 01-03-2019 at 11:58 PM
      I am driving on a wide road that feels sort of residential. I don’t see any houses, but there are some buildings a ways back from the road. It’s raining and, judging by the puddles all around, was raining a lot harder. I round a corner with enough speed for my tire to throw water from a puddle onto a girl on the walkway by the road. The girl looks early 20s and Hispanic. She has her hood up and is carrying something with both arms. Her face is shocked and saddened. I keep driving, as I did not intend to do that, but I look in my rear view and see her still standing there, staring at me driving away. I feel really poorly and I also see the beach towel on the passenger’s side floor (the blue one that really is in my car right now), so I stop and start to reverse. The girl sees me backing up and starts to run away. I keep reversing, then stop and get out, holding up the towel. She sees it and stops and then runs to me. Her appearance is completely different; she is a really tall white girl (same age range) with dirty blond hair cut in a straight line at the bottom of her long neck. She’s wearing a slightly alternative style - flared and slightly flowing black pants, and earthy green tank top, and I think a brown vest and maybe some jewelry. There are two barbell style piercings on the vest with only the silver bead showing. The vest is worn more so around them. The first thing she does is come in for a hug. I lightly hug her with the towel. When we pull away, I see that it looks like she is about to cry. I also can smell a perfume musk and her neutral breath. I tell her that I’m really sorry and that I didn’t mean to and that I feel really bad. She tells me it’s okay. I feel tears welling up in my eyes and have to hold them back.




      I am in some house, but it feels like I am working here. People come up and ask where things are and I show or tell them. The house seems small, with a low ceiling and narrow hallways with sharp turns. It seems to be unfurnished except for a few rooms. An older couple wants to know where the DVDs are, so I have them follow me. I accidentally take them to a small bathroom that seems to be at the end of a little alcove in the wall. There is a shelf in here, but no DVDs. I tell them oops, this isn’t it, I overshot it, and have them follow me to the right spot. This correct spot is a covered porch outside. It may be more of a gazebo, but it seems too close and connected to the house. Surrounding greenery compliments the wicker and woven white. The shelf of DVDs is out here. Someone is lying on their back on a lounge couch/chair with their eyes closed and a large pillow over them. Someone starts to move the pillow. The pillow is mostly concealing the body, so I think they may not even see her, but I do tell her to stop, there’s someone under there. Her eyes stay closed; I think she may be asleep or meditating.




      I have gone into Discology. The building is completely different, and there are no records here. It’s still a one room shop, and there’s a large counter along one wall. (It vaguely reminds me of a dispensary?) The lighting is dim, and there are tall black shelves. It seems tidy. I think there are antiques, rocks, minerals, etc. I am walking out, but catch a glimpse of David behind the counter and feel bad about leaving without saying anything to him, so I go back in. There’s a tall black shelf to the left of the door, and on it is a geode that I start looking at. It’s probably about two feet long and one foot high, and the front is completely flat and glossy. It’s a shiny but natural red. There are veins along the top and bottom that are darker and denser than the rest of it. David seems quiet and kind of unfriendly. I have to say hi, but he says hi back nicely enough.




      I am with Sage, and we are going to hike Mt. Rose. I pull into a pretty full parking lot as it is still dark out. There are a lot of people out, all starting to hike. (This place is not the Mt. Rose area or trail; it reminds me of Rancho San Rafael and the hot air balloons). The main trail is through some tan grasses right off the road going uphill. Other trails branch off, but go in the same general direction. There are people on all of them. Sage says something about high ground or staying high. I think we both have backpacks on, but I have little to no water and no food. I tell Sage I have no food and ask if she brought any. I’m worried about possibly getting faint. She says she didn’t bring any but that it’s okay because we won’t be going to the summit. She tells me she can’t go that far anyway, and I remember that she can’t. I think I took it slightly for granted that one would be able to go that far. I think we might just go to the look out, but think that’s pretty far too. We end up only going a little ways before we turn around. The weather seems very mild, maybe even spring or summer.




      (Since I’m with Sage, this may be part of the last dream?) Sage and I are on a school bus. I’m thinking we’re going to get off now, but the bus turns around so that its door lines up with the door on another school bus. Both doors are opened so as to create a passage from one bus to the other. People from this bus start getting onto the other this way. Sage and I do the same. I think I’ll just have to get off at this bus’s first stop. It’s a tight fit somehow between the two buses; I sort of have to squeeze through. This bus is crowded and small. It is Alice-in-Wonderlandesque, in that it looked normal size from outside, yet tiny inside, even though the people look regularly sized. Sage is at an aisle seat only a row or two back. I can’t see an empty spot except for the first row to the right with a guy in it. I take it. I am scrunched up, and my legs take up most of the aisle, but I guess it’ll have to work. I watch the lady bus driver survey the bus and its passengers through the rear view mirror with that look that all bus drivers seem to have. I think she’s wearing a hoodie, pulled back brown hair, and dark sunglasses.




      I am at Lily’s mom’s house. Dad is with me, and I think we’ve been out doing something. She looks mostly different (almost like a conglomerate of Susan and Carol, now that I think of it), with medium length blond hair. She lounges on the couch as I notice a Virtual Reality device on her head. (It looks like the picture on the box of the one at JCPenney). The black strap is at an angle like that of an eye patch, causing the device to sit on her left temple. The whole thing is very casual, almost as if it were a hat or a cellphone in a pocket. I can hear it nonchalantly talking to her. She’s talking to us and only occasionally gets distracted by the device. At its reminder, she gets up to write something on a calendar. I go with her. After she’s done writing, she tells me to sit, make myself at home. She asks if I want tea; it sounds good, though I’m not sure I say yes. I think there are spring rolls or potstickers set out on the small counter.




      I am with Melissa for some Girl Scout? event. It is outside, though one section seems to be partially ‘inside’ a covering or awning. I get into a line for food that’s set out on long cafeteria style tables. The plates of food are very small and have sections like frozen food trays. I think there’s chili and rice (and something that looks like the seafood antipasto from last night). I serve myself a small portion and sit with some unfamiliar but nice seeming people. At one point, I went up to Melissa and another lady in another line. They both have wet but empty shot glasses. I see a menu advertising $2 drinks and think that must be what that is. She offers for me to smell the glass; it smells pretty good, and I can tell that it was a vodka drink. I’ve already been drinking something, otherwise I’d probably try one.




      (This feels like it could’ve been at the end of the last dream). I enter a dark bathroom and go to turn the light on, but the switch does not work. I quickly try it a few times more before the realization hits me: I am in a dream. I look into the mirror and at my reflection as the thought is going through my mind that I am dreaming. Instantaneously, I hear screaming and/or another loud noise and watch as my reflection fades away into darkness.




      I am coughing up copious amount of phlegm, thick and brownish, into a white sink. (*This felt quite realistic. Shortly before bed last night I had to spit into the sink).




      I am in bed with Melissa. She is naked, and I think I am too. I seem to have my body positioned correctly on the bed, while her head is towards the other side. I am touching her. At some point, I realize there are two of her, like a corporeal reflection (the axis of symmetry possibly my body). They are exactly the same, though I can just tell the one on the left is the reflected version. The two bodies come closer together, closer still, until their exposed clitorises are touching. When they do, I can sense and feel the sensual and sexual ecstasy and pleasure
    13. Monday, August 6

      by , 12-20-2018 at 03:30 AM
      I am with Melissa at Harry’s house (it doesn’t really look like his house, but it is large and opulent). We’re going to stay the night here. Melissa leans close to me and tells me she wants to take a bath. It does sound nice. I tell her there is a hot tub outside. Rocio now comes over and says that the bath here is not good - that it’s dirty or something (I’m not sure if she heard us or if it was coincidence). I’m now thinking about where we’re going to sleep. There’s a huge tan couch in this room and a large, empty bed in another room. I wonder if we’ll have to sleep separately, but don’t think so. I think I’m going to ask somebody about the sleeping arrangements, but it’s late enough to not really matter because probably no one else will show up here, and everyone who is here will be asleep now or shortly. I do pass a room and see Rocio and Jim Fry sitting in the large, tall bed. Jim is fixing or moving her shirt by her left breast. In another room, Dad and Harry are sitting in a vast bed, both texting. I notice a TV high up on a wall that is turned on. Marilyn is in a wooden chair against a wall a ways back from the TV. She is facing it, but it looks like she might be asleep.


      Mom is driving me (and maybe also Melissa) to the place where she grew up. This two lane highway leads to a lush and rocky coastal point. I think we go past it and come back or something else unnecessary. We are here now, by some docks and a small building or two. I start swimming. I then pull myself up onto the dock; it’s slightly difficult. Tylar is doing the same and having the same struggle. Now Mom goes into a men’s bathroom after two guys come out of it. I see the women’s bathroom door is closed; this must be why she isn’t using it. I, after waiting a little bit, am about to go use the bathroom, then remember that she went in there.


      I am with Melissa in what seems to be a building with a very high ceiling. We are climbing up very steep steps/stairs on the side of a huge refrigerator? Others are doing the same thing; we start climbing faster towards the top and are the first to summit. I am now halfway back down, but over the floor, suspended by a rope? There are ready to eat pizzas set out down there. John Blomquist is down there and I’m trying to get him to get a pizza up to me. He doesn’t, and I end up on the ground anyway. We start talking, and he seems a little intoxicated. I imagine things from his state right now. There is a shelf of alcohol here there are little tear shaped bottles of wine with plastic labels over the whole bottle. I see they are 19% alcohol and think it’s a fairly large portion for that ABV.
    14. Wednesday, June 20

      by , 08-09-2018 at 03:43 AM
      I am buying something at Total Wine (It looks different. As I write this I realize it looks long and dim, like Moose McGillycuddy’s from last night. The lady behind the counter also looks like the lady who was behind the bar - sort of heavyset but not chunky, with thicker, dark hair). The lady looks at my ID and asks if I’m 21. I tell her ‘yeah’, the intonation being one of ‘yeah, I know I still am’ in a slightly playful way. She, upon this confirmation, goes to get something. She comes back with a Dr. Pepper can that has an incision almost all the way around the rim and places it on the darker wood counter. After she give me a ping pong ball, I remove the top section of the can and proceed to toss the ball into it on my first attempt. Now there is a small fruit (looks like a cantaloupe, but much smaller and egg shaped) that is hollowed out, with the top sliced off, so it is like a cup. I go to throw the ball into it, but it bounces off the rim.


      I am inside of a room. It is larger and square. It seems to be darker wood and empty. The wall closest to the entrance (to its right) has a counter where food is served. There is a line, wrapping counter clockwise around the room. Everyone in line seems to be familiar. Nelson and Crozby's dad is here with the both of them. Crozby is being grumpy or something, so I playfully wing and hit her with a bag of bagels or bread. Their dad is telling me that they have to leave soon [something :08] to go to Vegas to see a fight. That is fairly soon - about an hour? and seems like a short time to do what we’re doing here. I think it also takes them a while to get there, which makes sense because they have kids. I now go to the bathroom that is here. It seems like a house’s bathroom (I’m thinking it’s Brian’s house?) I wipe some wet spot off the floor, partially because I am thinking it may be his bathroom. I come back out and am on my way back to my spot when I see Adam is here with a bunch of baby chicks and one protective mother. They’re on the ground, grouped around the mother. I think there are 13 total. Now I place my order and look to Melissa so she can to. The cahier starts talking though, and sys that Melissa reminds her of her ‘pop’. I look over and Melissa has started crying. She puts her head on my shoulder and I hug and comfort her. She raises her head, and I see she’s pulled her grey hood over her face and drawn it tight. I think it’s a little childish and silly and don’t think she should even be upset, but still sympathize and am sad that she is. Later, I am driving and take a snapchat of the road. It’s going to be for her and I’m going to add text that says sometimes people just see certain similarities and it doesn’t necessarily mean you look like that person. I don’t think I finish typing it [it feels like I wake up during this part].
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    15. Monday, June 18

      by , 08-09-2018 at 03:20 AM
      I am in some room that is fairly large and open feeling. I’m not sure if it’s a house or hotel, but it feels like a living room. It seems like one wall is a climbing wall or climbing wall with no holds on it yet [*As I write this, I remember the John Mellencamp concert movie that was on TV last night and the large concrete wall behind the stage. I was trying to figure out if it was indoors or outdoors]. From the top of a darker, wooden dresser, I retrieve a Scrabble box that is propped up almost conspicuously. I am pretty certain this was not here before when I was looking for it. A ghost and Melissa both cross my mind as culprits. I bring it down and start setting it up, its edge nicely parallel with the wall. The pieces are few (I think many are missing) and are red and green, mostly translucent beads. I am going to play by myself. I am texting Melissa, and she tells me I made her day a few times, but also that she’s drunk. I think it actually reads ‘dunk’ and contains more typos. I ask what she had, and she tells me her neighbor got someone trashed, then brought over white wine. Again the message is replete with typos. I ask how much she had, and she tells me a few glasses. I am not super thrilled with her being drunk, but I realize that is irrational and find it understandable. I think I was considering asking her to hang out tonight, but it’s getting pretty late - 9:38?


      I am walking outside, in an area that looks like the Bartley Ranch/Anderson Park area. The grasses are lush and green, accentuated by the pristine evening Summer air. A train track leads through here, straight on, seemingly not that far and apparently dead-ending. I think I am following it. I call Mom to tell her about this spot. As I’m looking at the track now, it seems further away and also like a road, only because I see cars driving on each side of it. There’s a white truck moving slowly, and I? pass it. I am now walking again and passing some houses that seem smaller, wooden, and close together (like in V.C. though slightly reminiscent of San Fran, probably because I was just there. Passing the slow truck is surely from driving there and back, too). Outside of a house on its small porch is Max’s mom as well as what must be his older sister. I think we see each other, and I think they may say something, but brush the thought aside. As I’m just about to pass them though, the girl asks if I’d like to buy a lemonade for $1o. The mom tells me it [the profits] is for them to buy movies and two other things. I hesitate, and tell them maybe on my way back. I’m thinking I’ll be walking the dogs back? so I won’t have to buy any. They seem to be okay with this reply. I think $10 is too much and am not sure I support them selling that in order to buy those things.
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