Notes: I tried one of my longest WILDs 22.30-23.25. I got some very light dreams about people standing in front of me and some eyes. I think they were HH and not light dreams actually. I'm walking in a snowy forest. My backpack is heavy and is hurting my shoulders. I'm walking and walking and I don't know to where I am walking. We reach a cliff and it's no longer winter. Dad wants us (me, dad and my brother) to jump of the 10 meter high cliff into the water. Me and my brother doesn't want to. Dad grabs my brother and starts to carry him while he runs unto the edge of the cliff. Dad makes a really long jump but doesn't make it to the edge of the cliff. For some reason he throws my brother over the edge before he lands on the ground. Dad lands on the cliff while my brother falls down the cliff. I scream at dad telling him that he is an idiot. He doesn't care much and says that he can fix it. My brother is really angry and can swim here (He can't swim IRL). Dad jumps in the water to save my brother but ends up pushing him down almost two meters when he lands on him while swimming to him. I am so angry at dad because it feels as if he wants to hurt my brother. Dad is calling grandpa and talks with speaker on. We listen to the conversation while being mad at dad. Notes: My brother is having a tough time and is screaming a lot now. Dad is always going to him and trying to talk to him even tough my brother doesn't want to. I'm watching a screen. There is a man that is talking english about how to be a better guitarist. He takes his guitar and says that you have to practice to play only using pull offs and hammer ons. He counts down on swedish and starts playing some really good music only using pull offs and hammer ons with his left hand. Notes: I got some inspiration from this dream IRL. I'm playing Among Us but everyone has a heart over them. You are able to give other people hearts during the game to those you don't think are impostors. I think to myself how I would want to win as an impostor and get a heart from everyone. Notes: I played some Among Us with my cousins yesterday. I woke up 04.00 and wrote down the dreams above this. I wake up in a hospital and I am shocked. I have panic in my voice and asks where I am and why I am here. A doctor and mom come to me and say that it's alright. Mom says that they are here to operate my warts away (They use the swedish word for warts but they are talking about my birth marks). I don't have a shirt on me and the doctor shows me where I have different birthmarks I have never seen before (I took a look under my shirt now IRL just to be sure I didn't have the birthmarks the doctor showed to me and I didn't have them). He takes a laser and do some weird patterns on my stomach that is supposed to help the operation. New part. We are in Sturkö and I have got a big belt over my stomach, about 15 cm width. It has shining lights on the inside that are placed over my birthmarks that are supposed to take them away. White lights on the front and red on the back. I turn it on and the lights really hurt in a way I have never felt before. It is like a burning chemical feeling about it. I walk around and it turns out that the belt actually isn't secured that good on my stomach. It falls down and the lights don't hit my birthmarks anymore. I walk around for a long time. New part. I'm at home and some of my cousins are also there. Jonathan is nagging about how he wants to play a game to his mother. The belt is still there and is hurting. During some periods I go to a sofa and can't move because it hurts so much. The pain goes in waves. New part. I'm walking in city with mom and the belt is still on. I look on my stomach and see how some kind of fluid is coming from the birthmarks. I touch the fluid with my finger and inspect it. I see how the birthmarks are starting to disappear. I think about mom's cousin L who has operated some of her birthmarks. I ask mom if it is not wrong to operate birthmarks. If no one would operate away birthmarks no one would look down on people with birthmarks and no one would have to suffer like I have done. Mom's answer has to do with that the world can't change and that we have to adapt. She is not happy with the world but says that I have to suffer because the world is bad. Notes: I talked with mom about L and her operations for some years ago and havn't thought about them for a long time. Dad uses some kind of laser to cure his patients sometimes. I usually don't feel pain in my dreams. The white lights on the front and red lights on the back has to do with car lights. I study for the driving license theory test now. I'm on discord and I see a gif with a girl that is transformed to a man. There is some kind of vacuum cleaner that sucks her breasts out from her. My view comes inside the gif and I see the woman that is now a man but still has a woman's face. She raises up from a operation table with some hospital men around her. She walks out. I become the operated person and wonder what I should do this beautiful morning now when I have changed gender. I am outside my school walking up the street to Centrum. I am aimlessly walking the streets and just enjoy that I am free. Notes: When I was a kid I wanted to be a girl and sometimes walked in a princess outfit. My name in Among Us is Miss Pink and the persons I play with often refer to me as she. Notes: That was an eventful night. The dream about my birthmarks was really long and most of the time I was just idling and feeling pain.
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