Recent DJ Posts

12/7/20

Kostas the Grecian baker is showing off a pumpkin plant growing on the wall of his bakery, talking about keeping the roots on the wall because it is so beautiful. I think he wants to harvest the blossoms to cook. I agree whole heartily and take some video for him.

I am walking down a hallway in a school going to class, all other classes have already begun. No one minds that I am late to the room.
I sit down at an open desk with my backpack. Everyone is already going over a test or homework.
When I sit down the desk is small and I fall backwards with the desk attached to me doing a roll, everyone kind of laughs but nothing is too disrupted.
I realize I am 32 and have been out of school for quite a while. I shout 'hey everyone! This is a dream!'
They cheer and start to get up, the teacher looks defeated. I say out loud that this should be obvious because I am older and have been out of highschool for over a decade, so this is definitely a dream.
I tell the whole class to pinch their nose and breathe to prove they are dreaming. Some are confused, some do it. I do it together with them and prove that I am on fact dreaming. It's a great feeling.
I leave the classroom, there is a group of students standing in the doorway blocking my way. I ask them if this is a door, because it definitely looks like a door. And one by one they move out of my way begrudgingly. The dream destabilizes multiple times in the hallway so I drop to the floor and feel the cool tile with my hands to re-stabilize the dream the hallway comes back into clarity and I begin walking again.
This happens several times in the dream I always drop down and feel the ground or rub my hands as I feel the dream start to collapse and with some focus it rematerializes around me.
While outside I fly around with ease, not as much effort as I remember it taking. I have a sort of iron man pose.
The school is now a 1800's military academy and I see rows of students/soldiers carrying bayonets.
They are scared of me, one of them throws their bayonet and almost hits me as I fly over. I fly higher into the air and over the pond. It's an old campus with a large pond in the middle and many older trees like southern live oaks.
The dream starts to crash again so I land and feel the grass through my fingers,I pay attention to the sounds of the water and the street nearby. The scene comes back but the soldiers are gone. There are creatures now moving faster than vision almost.
I reach out my hands and control one that has gone by me and is almost on the other side of the water.
I intend to control its movement and wind it back like a toy. I see it's movement slow. It is like an animated toyish looking trex that belongs on a playground spring but it is moving around very fast, it moves backwards and forwards and I am content with my control so I let it go.

I tell someone close to me that I am dreaming and they tell me to come with them, we all get in a car and they tell me I have to meet Theodore Roosevelt, they tell me that I'm gonna love Teddy.
He is showing me his collection of cars, one of them looks like a pre-model T but it's combined with a wooden boat. Without saying anything I help him take it down off a rack and fold the wheels down to drive. I complement the antiquity of the collection and tell him the oldest one is my favorite, Teddy is much more informal than I am expecting as he is wearing swim shorts and a safari hard hat. His mustache is large and pointy.
We go into an army bunker with other officers and the dream starts to collapse again. I drop down and feel the cool floor, then the windowsill and start to take in all the details and senses. The dream comes back but the men are gone. There is a redhead now who looks similar to Lucile ball. She is sitting on the edge of a desk in an all khaki military dress.
She is pleased to meet me, I ask if it's really her and she nods. I am so pleased to see her again. I wrap my arms around her lower half and just embrace her. I tell someone else in the room that this is the Prime Matriarch. She is my guide, I have been looking for her for literally months. It is an immense relief to be finally close to her so I just breathe it in for a few minutes.
There are several props and maps around the room she begins trying to show me things while explaining, I don't grasp the meaning of anything she says but the warmth of her presence is comforting.
The dream destabilizes again and I rub my hands together quickly and feel the walls of the barracks.
I hear talking and can feel sensations of the walls but my vision hasn't returned yet. I imagine where I just was and intend to step back into the barracks.

I am now with a couple old friends in their apartment. They show me a collectable figurine they have from one of the Batman cartoons. He undoes the box in a meticulous way to show me the figure inside and puts it all back before going into the other room.
The box falls forward and I grab it to put back on the shelf. Everything has become shifted in the box and I attempt to put it right. But nothing fits the way it was. I try to fold the box back up the correct way and am unsuccessful, I know they will be displeased that I messed up their collectable. They are leaving to go get ice cream across the street I tell them to wait for me while I struggle with the box
I finally give up and admit defeat, I have the thought that they will think I was trying to play with the toy rather than admire the collectable. They go ahead of me to the ice cream place anyway.

I am now in a 50's style diner, it's packed with classmates and people I used to know, they are all at different tables having their own conversations. I gather that I am still dreaming but don't intend to change anything.
I see the girl with blue hair and I tug on it as I walk by her but don't say anything. She follows me around so I talk to her in passing, then a girl I used to date runs up to me like an excited puppy and tries to derail my attention. It works and I give her the drink I have in my hand. The dream starts to crash so I drop to the floor again to re-stabilize.

The diner disappears, I am now in a highrise corner new york flat with large windows looking out to the night time city and only one other guy in it. He looks identical to Mark Sheppard. I tell him that I am dreaming and he agrees with me, I go through several periods of almost waking up but always come back into this room. Maybe 4 or 5 times. He is impressed but attempts to get my name. When he speaks details it is gibberish and the same with me, so he tries to write it down. They look like wingdings combined with korean characters. I describe very clearly what I see.
He tells me he wrote his name. But I cannot read it. He is very amused that we can have normal conversation but certain details seem to be 'edited' in real time from us. He tells me to find him when I wake up.
I write my name down in permanent marker but he tells me it just looks like random gibberish to him. We are both amused that we can't seem to share each other's name. I do manage to piece it together one of the times I phase back into his apartment after partially destabilizing. He says his name is Marc Bilit. I need to find him when I wake up. He is also surprised when I come back into the room. Apparently when I destabilize I just disappear from right in front of him, and when I come back I just pop back into existence. He is very tickled by this occurrence. Marc Bilit. Remember Marc Bilit it's very important that I find him when I wake up. We are working to understand cross communication between dreams.

Dreams that I made note of early today but that I'm only writing on the DJ here at night.

---

Dream Fragment:

Much longer than just this bit and a lot of detail is missing. Was with my family at some building, more specifically, with my parents and maybe siblings. We were there because of me, I was waiting to be given permission to use this facility's reactor-powered super-computer.

One of mom's sisters (M) was there . H was there but was a blend between himself and my oldest sibling. I remember we were waiting in some sort of lobby. It was sunny, there was a lot of glass. It was a fairly modern-style building from what I can remember. Eventually, a woman came through into the room and requested my presence. I followed her and walked through some halls and then through a large indoors space, like an aircraft hangar or an industrial warehouse. When we were in one of these larger spaces, the woman, who I remember was formally dressed (i.e. had some sort of secretarial position), said that they were going to give me the OK to use their computer.

Apparently I wanted to use this computer to "hack" some other reactor-powered super-computer of the same sort. In the dream I already knew I had permission from the owners of that second computer to do this. My reaction to when she gave me the OK was something of surprise and I felt happy. I told her I'd be right back and jogged back to the lobby quickly to grab a few things. Mostly some papers, A4 prints of the schematics for the other reactor? Looked like amplifier schematics like the ones I often see H use.

In the dream I knew that some favour I pulled was responsible for the people who owned this place to allow me to do this, though there seemed to be no animosity with anyone and there was a calm and polite atmosphere.

I remember there was a lot of dialogue in this dream but I remember very little of it in detail, usually one of the first things to get forgotten. I went back to the woman after grabbing the papers. I remember being shown into a room where I then used some sort of computer terminal and then gained physical access to the other computer's library. But it was literally and physically manifested in front of me, above the terminal.

I looked through the books. I remember chatting to this lady since she was there to supervise me, mostly small talk. I couldn't remember which of these files (the books) that H was interested in, so for whatever reason I asked for someone to go and fetch my oldest sibling (L). L arrived and immediately recognised the book. L took it and I wondered how we'd return it, since I realised in that moment this was a one-time thing but we were still obliged to return the file.

Then I said to L: "make sure you get everything you want, because we will never have access to this again." I remember thinking or feeling that the other books on that shelf were filled with irreplaceable knowledge.

The dream went on for a bit but I don't remember much. Some visions of the reactors? I told the lady about how I got permission to do all of this.

Dream Fragment:

A different dream. In space, much shorter dream. Strategy game like Homeworld but could manage planets and space stations too. Mix of Freelancer too? Don't remember the visuals anymore. Woke up after this dream.

Dream Fragment:

Fell back asleep and recalled this single fragment. Was helping T build some sort of organ console. The console didn't look right. It was askew? But it was on purpose apparently. The manuals were angled at 90 degrees and sloped on a 30 degree arc. I remember this took place in T's room. There was a light on and the room was dark otherwise, somewhat as expected really.

Mom was there, talking to T I think.

---

Some notes:
- I did remember more conversational detail when I woke up and wrote down the first dream on my phone but the memory has since long left as I finish writing this DJ entry.
- The thing with the shelf and the books being the other computer's file system was very unusual. It was like an allegory, but somewhat unnecessary.
- For whatever reason, these few dreams I had all had H, T and L mixed in some sense as if they were all the same character. Although I can draw some similarities between them, like the bookshelf thing, I'm not sure why it was almost made obvious in the dream. Normally my less conscious thoughts don't manifest themselves in dreams in such an obvious way, probably since I already recognise all these elements consciously anyway.
- The secretary figure is starting to become a recurring dream character in a sense. Feels like a sort of formal projection, as a character, of what I would consider my anima to be. Last year there were some similar appearances. Usually black hair, tidy, possibly glasses and a smooth but not perfect face. A slight bit of attitude or something in body posture, but in a relaxed way. Takes herself seriously.

- A note on the above; I have taken the Jungian archetypes into a sort of personally meaningful way as I do with symbols in general, so that they have specific meanings to myself, which are often a bit more distant from their original meanings. This accounts for why the appearance of these archetypes varies, sometimes dramatically. But the key identifier for them is usually that they are key characters in the dream and that they are not related to people I know, and seem to be more disjointed from the other characters in a dream, usually.

- T's room was more or less as I remember last seeing it. The sense of any unpleasant smell didn't seem to be there, but I remember feeling uncomfortable being in the room.

Dream Fragment:

I was at my old home or some version of it. I was at the entrance hall and it was a bit dark but still daytime, suggesting it was the time just before sunset. H was there, but H looked like this actress from a TV show instead. She was crouched up in the middle of the room, in front of the dark stained wardrobe and I crouched next to H and started to cuddle, giving her a kiss and feeling how different her body was compared to what I should remember.

There is a transition and I'm outside, it's daytime but probably more around noon now. I remember walking by a few places that were altered from how they should be, namely D's building and its entrance. There were quite a few people there and I remember making small talk for some reason, but no idea what about.

I kept wandering the streets of my home town and eventually after going through a few streets that don't exist and a wall turning into an open street, I started to become sort of pre-lucid and gained some dream-control, not consciously thinking about it. There was a square or plaza of some kind, surrounded by short two or three story buildings, as expected, and people were just going about their business. But I wanted to feel alone and solemn in this place for some reason, so I snapped my fingers and most of them disappeared. A woman and her young boy didn't.

I snapped again, wanting rid of her from the scene. She wouldn't go. She walked up to me and started becoming antagonistic and asking why I wanted her to go. I didn't explain myself (perhaps I didn't know why either) and I eventually conceded and said "fine, if you won't leave, then I will", so I walked away across the plaza and into a small tunnel lit with fluorescent lights and as I did, she paced up quickly behind me, pushing me against a corner, hurting me, and twisting my right arm and gripping my bottom.

She said something that I can't remember word for word, which basically summed up to be about how I often am careless with caressing and cuddling H (making me cause pain by complete accident), and despite the pain she was inflicting on purpose, I laughed at its irony. In that moment, I felt a dire need to go to the bathroom, and I falsely woke up, then getting up from bed and going to the bathroom, and just as I sat on the toilet, I was in bed again, as if that was only imagined, but the urge to use the bathroom was suddenly gone.

Then I woke up truly and double checked how I felt, realising it was all just very realistic dream sensation.

---

Some notes:

• This dream wasn't particularly vivid in terms of visual clarity but the physical sensations were quite strong overall.
• The woman who wouldn't go was some sort of anima manifestation. Often it isn't so antagonistic but her look was distinct from previous appearances, mostly marked by her shoulder-long hair being black this time. Her face was more chiselled, too. It was simply a more raw and aggressive look in general; ironically enough, what I would expect from my home region.
• Though I had some dream control, it was completely non-lucid. I could feel myself having some sort of pre-lucid thoughts but they didn't rise up enough for me to start gaining lucidity.
• The woman's young boy reminded me of myself when I was younger, but his role in the dream seemed to be minimal. He seemed to be there pretty much just to characterise the woman as a mother, as he pretty much just went off playing in the street without a care for what was happening.

I wake up at 3 AM as part of my subconscious WBTB.
I am certainly awake at this point as I move some objects on my desk for verification in the morning along with a standard RC. I soon settle down back to bed. My green phosphines make psychedelic patterns as I consider a WILD. Dreamlike imagery of a valley with huge waterfalls flashes by... Suddenly, I am lifted and thrown to the side of my bed! I look at my bed in shock AND I AM LYING DOWN ON MY BED! I don't see a cord, and I guess this was the resolution of a ridiculous argument about it's existence to another person. I look out the window at the serene night. I wander my eyes across the suburban scene until suddenly, a planet-sized dodecahedron soap (you know like all reflecting rainbow stuff) arches across from the east. I decide to take action so I fly through the window effortlessly. I love this move and I do it in almost every dream possible! Now it is daytime with a little suggestion, and I find a fictional bridge across water.

I swim fluidly and fly up to the side of the bridge. I notice small holes in the bridge and more soap bubbles bubble out...

I now fly with a companion to a rundown building. I phase through the door feeling a surge of the blue affect me. I find myself in a hall filled with people. I sense a sense of shock as they are still, silent and staring. There are three doors and a staircase. I choose the stair case and I sight a passage to my left. I float down it and locate a room to my right. The door is open and an elderly woman is wearing a mauve dress. I talk to her and she alerts me that the people downstairs are my ancestors...

I have taken to a more detailed dream account as I realize that small details slip the mind in the long term and including them provides a better read. I wonder what my really long dreams shall take up!

So I only remember the very end of this dream, but it's ok, since that's the important part. I'm in my kitchen. for some reason there's a barbie doll on the counter wearing all black. I remember, in the dream, that I've seen that before in my house. I don't know why, but I run into the office to ask about it, since that's where my grandmother is always. The office is changed. There's a sofa along the right-hand wall, on which that woman is sleeping. Every time I've gone into the office, I dream-remember, she's been there. Then the dream goes black. I sit lying on my bed, believing I'm awake, and analyze it. I notice some characteristics about the woman. From what I can tell of her she's tall, like me, but that's the only similarity. She has short-ish hair, where I keep my hair long-ish. She wears clothes in scene style, where as I wear sorta nerdy clothes. I think she's thin, whereas I'm sorta portly. She's also really attractive, which is a quality I do not possess. At this point I realize she is like the manifestation of all the qualities I don't have. I think in my head. I think that's my anima. BOOM! I start lucid dreaming. I jump back to the office, and I have enough time to start to float before I see the woman's eyes open up. For some reason this startles me, and I wake up in my bed not able to move. But that's just sleep paralysis...