Recent DJ Posts

I seem to be staying in an apartment, apparently some kind of temporary accommodation, with a woman and a third person I can remember even less clearly. Something strange is going on, but it isn’t clear what. At some point, we go out and are on a sidewalk going past a number of similar apartment-style buildings. But we’ve barely left when I realize that leaving was a bad idea - we’re playing into their hands. (Whose? Can’t remember now….) And it’s already too late. Two figures are rapidly approaching me. One is an enormous, threatening dog, controlled by the other, although there’s something human about it too. It’s clearly too tight a spot to get out of, and so I successfully manage to negotiate instead. In return for not giving them a fight, they’ll come by the apartment for me later instead.

After that, we’re back in the apartment, or at least some version of it, trying to figure out what to do. But I’ve realized something: this whole thing is about the woman, not me, and so there may not be much I can do. (I haven’t explicitly realized that I’m dreaming, but it’s pretty clear that I’m operating on the assumption.) It’s as if there’s some mystery we don’t fully understand, but we’ll have to solve it, or rather she will, to achieve a good outcome.

I’m suddenly struck with a realization. The biggest problem here is that this experience-space is being conditioned by the expectation that only things that make real-world sense can happen. Other possibilities are being excluded, and I can see that if that logic is allowed to dictate what happens next, failure is practically guaranteed. But if I can manage to de-condition this space, then - well, it might not solve the problem. That’s out of my hands. But it will at least make the problem solvable.

And so I begin to talk. Not to anyone in particular - the woman is within earshot, but I’m keeping out of her way otherwise, as this seems to be the extent to which I can help, and anything further is probably just going to interfere. I say whatever weird, off-the-wall non sequiturs without the slightest connection to the present situation happen to pop into my head. I am always happy to help, especially if it’s by doing something that under ordinary circumstances would just be obnoxious.

I can feel it working. Little by little, the space is becoming less rigidly structured and predictable; dream logic is reestablishing itself here. I can hear, in another room, new characters, having arisen out of nothing, are speaking with the woman. Previously intangible aspects of the situation are beginning to manifest, and accordingly, she now seems to be making actual progress.

(This was another entirely-over-by-2-am dream, for the record)

2.1.24

I was watching this scene from the Belgian TV show Samson & Gert where the two meet in an apartment full of single beds and couches with Gert's girlfriend who looks like Mr Bean's date while she's studying. Her roommate walks in and strikes a conversation with Gert while she sneaks out of her own apartment. Gert is hinting at Samson to talk with the other dogs. Meanwhile I'm watching them interact while multiple people sit on the couch with me. This girl in particular borrows my phone charger and tries talking to me while I vaguely and shortly respond because I was focused on the Samson & Gert situation. She then leaves and passive aggressively points out my lack of enthusiasm of talking to her, expressing she was looking forward to getting to know me better. As I look at her, I start to realise she's pretty cute and tell her we can have a proper talk along with some drinks together, which she rejects before leaving. As I sit down, a girl from theatre school whom I did a magician act with once, comforts me. As I walk people home, I come across another theatre school classmate who asks me if I can return the backpack to the theatre school classmate who's student dorm I visited once. As I walk through the apartment complex, I hear about the student's campaign to raise funds and awareness for special "sleeve phones" that Spanish businessmen use apparently as they are shown talking to their jacket sleeves.

It's late at night, I Google some bus rides to Utrecht as I'm around Southern Amsterdam and the classmate gives me a message while talking to me like it's therapy. I struggle to maintain proper balance as he keeps massaging me. He whispers something to me, "uncontrollable" or something and I wake up feeling a little seasick and nauseous.

Spit:
I'm with girlfriend's friend group, with their respective significant others (H&A and G&S).
It's sort of blue and cloudy outside.
I'm with the guys by large rocks playing a game.
...
Later I'm at an apartment that I know is mine.
I'm standing in a living room area in a circle with the guys.
I decide to spit up some water I was drinking, toward G.
I have the intent to show that something outlandish like that is OK.
A thinks it is funny, and G returns the favor.
But G isn't returning the favor. Though the spitup looks like clear water, he is actually puking from disgust.
Oops.

Last time sleeping in my apartment in Berlin, moving out today.

Kept having the same dream about turning in my keys and catching the train home before waking up every ten minutes, except each dream the locations looked differently, sometimes I'd miss the train, or a woman being an imaginary family member of my mom's side would show up.

I dreamt that I was sleeping in my room, but the room was several times the size, had multiple doors and an emergency exit, and it had museum artifacts inside. Meanwhile, people kept putting their stuff into my room, it started with two people whom I overheard speaking Dutch before jokingly asking if they were speaking German before revealing that I could speak Dutch too. I then notice more and more hipsters and diverse types of people (in style, they were all still white) move into my room. I get on top of the stage, but having a dry mouth from just waking up I can't reach the rest of the group. My flatmate then offers me water whilst dressed as a water bottle like one of the people moving in is, I wake up before starting my speech

I had multiple brief snooze dreams about singing into work from home but constantly clocking in too late or my supervisor messaging me why I'm late or not at the office.

In all dreams, my room was much bigger and had different variations of offices like a company room. In one of my dreams, I had a door in my room that lead to the room in the neighboring apartment building that was much bigger and built around my room.

I am outside at an apartment complex with Melissa and Stella (It looks pretty similar to the Lakes complex). It seems dark out, yet well lit with all the patio lights. We’re on a narrow, straight alley of grass between two buildings. Stella has pooped and I don’t have a bag on me, but I see a station straight away at the end of this grass alley. We start to go there when a door right behind us starts to open. A dog on a leash and then a man step out. Stella doesn’t freak out, but is slightly standoffish. We let them interact and soon they are starting to play. We praise and pet her.

I'm coming off of about 2 months break from journaling to record this dream and more moving forward, since Summer Comp is about to begin

Cold Visit
I'm at my sister's apartment, but I'm not welcome. There is a party happening with video games on the main living room TV. There are a lot of people there easily crowding the tiny apartment. Nobody explicitly tells me so, but I know that I've shown up uninvited. Some time later I'm walking outside to see N. It's night and winter-time. The scene reminds me of my brother's college campus from years ago. Snow is falling and it looks pretty against the street lamps. I don't feel cold, though. He's upset with me which reminds me of the last time we spoke in waking life. He seems to have cooled a bit since that discussion, but the result of the discussion is the same as before. Progress isn't made.

Brittney is showing me and Melissa her new apartment/house - I forget which she refers to it as. It looks more like an apartment complex, though maybe only one level. She has a neighbor to the right, the front doors right next to each other. I have a dog bone? and for some reason think it belongs to this neighbor. Trying the door and finding it unlocked, I quickly open it, set the bone inside, and close it. It was dark in there but I also think someone was in there, at a desk facing the wall. We go into Brittney’s now. I think she’s referred to it as a one bedroom, and it is. It is just a white, square room. It has … and two large beds, each in a corner to the left. I don’t notice a kitchen or a bathroom.

I’m in the apartment with Melissa (it feels like the same layout). Opening the fridge, I notice that its lights don’t come on. I think that they usually do, and start to think that the power’s gone out. I open a drawer (this fridge doesn’t look like ours, and seems to have more drawers than shelves) containing a sheet of cookies. Feeling them, they seem more like cookie dough and are slightly warm, causing me to decide that the power’s definitely gone out. I go grab the remote (for our digital air converter) and try to troubleshoot. The screen shows too many things and too quickly. It then also begins [missing] which irritates me.

Went to an apartment viewing yesterday, I dreamed about living in that apartment, but conciously remembered that I was still living in my old one and it felt like trespassing. I waited for the roommate to leave and went to my old apartment. When I went outside, though, the street suddenly turned into a. industrial area.

Dream was surprisingly in Dutch, but in hindsight the person in question looked and sounded like someone from an international theatre project from years ago instead of the roommate.

I’m at our apartment complex when I see three large, black dogs off leash outside one of the units. The layout here seems similar to our complex, but everything looks different. There are quite a few people in the unit (I think a door or window is open, enabling me to see inside at a glance) and someone is devoting some of their attention to playing fetch with the dogs. The dogs seem friendly from here and like they won’t really wander, but I don’t appreciate the disregard of the rules, especially because we live two buildings over and always have Stella on a leash. I’m by our unit now with Melissa and Stella. One of the dogs is over here, without an owner, but Stella is now being reactive to it. She actually climbs completely on top of the dog and begins humping it. I’m surprised that it, a larger male, doesn’t react.



I’m in some fairly crowded building. I’m behind what seems to be a merch counter when I notice two girls, one of which is wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt. A man by her asks her who wrote Stairway to Heaven. She replies with something wildly wrong. The other girl chuckled and says “no, Jimmy Page”. I’m now walking through the building (it seems similar to the GSR), aware that I’m wearing a Grateful Dead shirt. I pass a man who I think is also wearing one. I see him see my shirt and then he asks ‘what year?’ He seems excited and not patronizing. We were walking in opposite directions, but I turn to walk with him. I tell him it’s just generic and not a certain year but that I’ve probably heard any given year. I continue talking to him and he looks like he didn’t expect me to. I tell him that Dead and Co shoreline ‘17 was my first live Dead music experience. “Completely sober - a minority, I know,” I say. He says he’d eat anything given to him. I describe the joy at the opening notes of St. Stephen, even though I realize it was actually Playing in the Band. This moment recalls the profundity of it, which I think he is sharing in now.

I'm happy, but also jealous that my GF got a 20K bonus. I question my current employment situation.

I'm at a surprise party that looks like Grandma M's apartment. My friend SG is there and she seems excited to see me. She's brought some friends of hers that I don't recognize. There's somebody else there who has a cat on his shoulder. He makes a big show of how the cat is clawing onto his back and isn't jumping off. I make eye contact with the cat, and it decides that I am the next place to sit. It comes over to my shoulder. The table is set to play a monopoly-like game.

I'm watching some porn and my brother A catches me. This situation is embarrassing, but I own it as best I can.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Living in my mom's apartment and I still have stuff left in the apartment in front of her where I lived, namely some dishes and cups. I still have the key to the place, although it was already sold, but I think it's still empty so I go in. Turns out the new owner is having lunch with friends and when they see me coming in, they all come to the door looking concerned. Then they get really upset when they see me. I explain the situation and say I am sorry. They agree to hand me my stuff but they are angry that I just barged in. I notice one of the guy's at the lunch table is Vladimir Putin. I want to say something angry at him, but I swallow my own anger. I try to make peace with the new owners by saying I have some fruit I'd like to offer them. They are not interested and walk me to the door. Then Putin also gets up, hooks up with some girl and they are also leaving. He is followed by a bodyguard. But the bodyguard passes in front of me and goes out the door, leaving Putin right beside me. He seems drunk and he gropes my ass. So I lose my shit and I grab his hand, twist his arm and I make a choke hold. He can't move. I call all his shit to his face and pull his arm higher to hurt him. At first he was laughing like "what are you doing, girl?" but when he starts feeling the pain and he calls for his bodyguard. I choke him fither to shut him up. He doesn't die, I just hurt him a bit while I tell him what I think of him.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At a campus, just waiting for something to end and I am drawing pics, sitting on a bench. Try to make a couple portraits of some people, a bit cartoonish. They look great, just don't look at all with whom I had in mind while drawing them. I go to the canteen and a group of guys who have a love-hate relationship with me, spot me from afar and comment something about me. I sense disappointment and also get the impression that some are planning on going after me to tease me. That worries me a bit. One of the dudes actually thinks I have a crush on him, but he is insufferable. He starts practicing his contemporary dance moves and he has at least one fan who is fixated on him, but he wants to impress me instead, so he starts doing very suggestive moves too close for comfort, and I am like 'please don't". Then I realize I can fly away from this mad people and inspired by his dance I start dancing as I go up in the sky trying to also spark some surprise. But there is barely any reaction from anyone, as usual.
There is a building in front of me and as I get closer to its top, I spot my friend Zilla in an appartment and I stop by, entering through the window. She is nursing her baby and also has some new kittens, but what I am amazed at the most, is that she is also raising three tiny bats. I pick up one to take a picture of him in my hand, but he doesn't stay still and eventually jumps to fly and almost hits me in the face. I get scared and then laugh and she comments they are learning how to fly.