• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. September 14, 2024 9:15 am

      by , 09-14-2024 at 08:55 AM
      I returned to high school for some reason to get my HAVO (Dutch high school VET level) diploma. At the school in question my colleagues from work are students and they just came up with a new snack where they put chewing gum into square cake forms with sprinkles, making sweet gum cubes. My friend and I were auditioning a girl for a performance video. One was well prepared whereas the other wasn't, but neither was I as I told her we'd have an extra audition round if necessary to calm her nerves before turning to my friend who told me we didn't, I accidentally cast the unprepared girl from earlier as they were both blonde Dutch girls with blue eyes and I couldn't tell them apart oops! I was living with a high school friend from Syria in a house by the canal in a Dutch city, although it might've been Giethoorn with city architecture too, we were extras in some finale episode of a sitcom, something adjacent to The Big Bang Theory or something as it was Chuck Lorre esque. My friend talks about being interested in studying architecture after we get our HAVO diploma and he mentioned the school he wanted to go to no longer being in French as he wanted to go to an international architecture school. We leave our house which for some reason was built right against the canal meaning you had to jump over the water to get to the other side. I instead run towards the left via the grass and crossed the water at a better place. My friend finds it amusing and we notice our upstairs neighbors, who are Nigerians from London, giggling, getting outside to replace the digital camera on a tripod that was at the front door, possibly filming us. It was one of the last days of my friends and I living together. I explain to my mom how the smart TV works, showing the search function. As I return to the previous menu so she can try herself, we notice this abstract interactive wallpaper of a camera scrolling past a river with a painted background, moving to the left. I then try to go to the search menu from earlier, but it just moves to the right instead. As we follow the river, we notice the background paintings changing, with the seems being noticeable as they cover a window, preventing it from opening. As we continue moving through a poolrooms esque hall of water in an indoor pool, we notice a character waving at us to throw merch shirts at us while questioning why she does this job before realising her monologue is distracting, a Josh Radnor looking character then interrupts her because of this as she throws a shirt at us as we just realised were walking through the water in our regular clothes. We finally reach the end and return to our home with a dead goldfish. We are taking about how that segment felt more like a finale than whatever scene we hadn't filmed yet. We go into the water segment one more time as I hear knocking on the pool windows, I wake up because of it.
    2. Dream Journal Day 33: Night of Tuesday 30.01.2024

      by , 02-07-2024 at 12:48 AM
      I'm so annoyed with myself! I remembered this whole dream when I woke up (at 4:20) but I didn't write it down immediately because I was tired. It was really interesting, too. Now I only remember this fragment. This reminds me strongly of another dream which I never wrote down, I can't remember when it was but it was at least a couple months ago.

      I'm travelling on the underground trains, but my train is stopped for some reason so I exit. I remember standing in a wide square above ground. The ground is covered with yellow gravel and the sky above is clear and bright. I stand in front of a blocky stone monument, a large slab with words carved into them. I don't think I bothered to read them.

      I read about some artwork in two train stations and I want to go and see it. An artist carved messages into the platform walls, criticising two different British prime ministers. After waking up I felt like they were Tony Blair and Margaret Thatcher - but surely not... That would be funny. I take the train once again and get off at the station where the first one is. The platform is wide and its wall is rough-textured, as though there is a thick layer of cement on the outside.

      However upon arriving I am shocked to see the artwork almost completely gone. At the near end of the platform the beginning of one line of text is carved into the wall. At the far end finish two or three lines. Between is a smooth blank expanse of dark grey cement. I know that text once covered the lower part of this wall, but it seems to have been erased - smoothed over without leaving a trace.

      I suppose that because Tony Blair (why not) became Prime Minister after all, he had the work removed to avoid damage to his reputation. This thought weighs on me. The idea of political censorship leaves a bad taste in my mouth. On the platform, the next station is Victoria.
    3. College Again

      by , 07-03-2023 at 06:10 AM (The Dream Adventures of MadMonkey)
      College Again (NLD) 07.02.2023

      I am in the animation drawing class at my old college except instead of rows of computers there are normal desks with seats. The professor is MF and he says we have to design space craft for this assignment. I look in my portfolio for a blank piece of paper and pull one out. After I start drawing I realize there is already part of a drawing drawn in ink and it clashes with what I have drawn in pencil so I need to find a different paper without anything on it. This is when I start to question why I am back in college. After all, I already have my degree. This is a common dream sign but the dream logic keeps me from doing a reality check! Instead I walk up to MF and ask if I am on the list of students. He takes a look at his notes and says I am indeed enroled in the class.

      After the class is over I go to the information desk because this just doesn't seem right. I walk up to one of the people at the desk and ask if they can tell me if I am enrolled in clases. "You see, I often have dreams I am back in school and I just want to know if I'm enrolled." They make up excuses of how they don't have access to this information. "What is my current GPA?" I ask. "You have a 2.2 from missing so many classes." I was an honors student so this stresses me out and I still don't become lucid.

      I go outside and there is some sort of game where you walk around a square shape made of squares drawn on the pavement in chalk. I get hung up in playing this game where you walk around the squares and things happen depending on where you land. This part of the dream is fuzzy now and, of course, I don't become lucid.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    4. Art Gallery

      by , 06-24-2023 at 03:51 PM
      I'm in a new, high-tech startup digital art gallery with a friend. It's small, with a reception desk straight from the entrance, and only a few metres of space on each side. There are fake vines hanging from the ceiling and windows, and fake plants lining the brick walls, giving a very sort of indie cafe look.
      There are screens displaying impressionist artworks, mostly Claude Monet. My friend and a few other visitors in the building are looking at these works on the huge screens, and as they do that I begin to take a look around the building. To the right of the reception desk, tucked away in a corner, is a little shelf with a couple of small screens showing fan submitted artworks, each with their own paragraph long descriptions next to them. Most of the drawings are children's drawings submitted by their parents, or amateur paintings/sketches done by visitors. As the drawings cycle through every couple of minutes, I absentmindedly read their descriptions and pick out my favourites from each cycle, until one catches my eye.

      It's a small, vertically long sketch with limited colour. Down the middle of the page is a sidewalk with hopscotch on it, outside of a cafe with tables and chairs out the front. On the other side of the sidewalk is lush, green shrubbery. Sunlight is streaming through the leaves and pouring onto the sidewalk in little white splotches. At the top of the sidewalk strolls a young girl in a long white lace dress, with brown hair and a white sunhat. At the bottom of the sidewalk, where the hopscotch is, is two lion cubs playing, one with a sun for a head, and the other with a moon. It is the most beautiful artwork I have ever seen.
      Then I look closer at the drawing and see it's been done completely on lined workbook paper, with nothing more than a blue pen and some coloured markers. I'm stunned. Something so engulfing had been done by some student, doodling in their notes, without a thought about it.

      As I stare at the drawing, the cycle reloads again, and another takes its place. I panic, I don't want it to go yet, I have to find it again. I try to find an author's name, but the descriptions have cycled out. I go to the gallery's website and find a list of all the authors that had recently been displayed in the fan corner, and find the artist's name. I'm so happy that I get to see it one more time, and then I woke up.

      I was actually quite mad that it was a dream. The whole night I thought it was real, and I was just as worried when I woke up that I'd lost the drawing again as I was in my dream, even more so that I would never be able to find it because it wasn't real. But then a few hours later I realised that the artwork I was so obsessed with came from my mind, in my imagination, meaning I would be able to recreate it. I'm so lucky to have the ability to create art, I wish I could live forever so that I could dream and create and dream all over again.
      Tags: art, technology
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    5. Night of Saturday 6/3/23 (Comp Night 3)

      by , 06-04-2023 at 09:27 PM (Dreamlog)
      Before WBTB

      Russian Ride
      I'm traveling internationally and I don't speak the language where I am at. I'm getting off a train or bus looking for the airport. I see another bus leaving and I wave my arms and chase it, yelling for it to stop. It does. I try to ask the driver where the airport is and he tells me (in English) that the bus is full. It clearly isn't. I wonder if there is some law saying there must be X number of open seats. Regardless, I stay on the bus and he doesn't kick me off. I make my way to the back of the bus. It resembles the CATA bus system from back home. In the back car is a girl with one leg. Short hair, kinda "bad-girl type". She has khaki pants on, and the missing leg has it tied to cover the stump. I sit next to her and ask for help. She's friendly.

      Some time later we are back at her apartment. It's a big studio, kinda messy with paint and art all over the place. I realize that I'm a girl, and that she may be gay. I get the impression she might have been coming onto me.

      Later I'm running from Russian agents. I'm running through an apartment complex, entering and leaving through doors/windows. I'm really high up. When I go outside I'm sidling on just-big-enough edges to not fall. I don't know why they are chasing me. I eventually make my way down from the tall complex and make it to the ground but I haven't shook them.

      I'm in a down-town Chinatown type area at night. There is a big crowd of people and I'm trying to use them to escape from the Russian agents. I'm at a bar with two floors open to the outside. There are some TVs running with couches set in front of them. There are some dark corners I can hide in. I try out a few and crouch down, but I decide that none of them are good enough and keep moving. Then I stand up face-to-face with one of the agents. He looks like Dr. Brenner from Stranger Things.

      Running again. This time it was short. I ended up in a stone building on a grassy hill, hiding underground. But they've just found me. There is the leader (Dr. Brenner) and two thug-types. They are going to torture me for information. I tell them I've only killed one time, and I wasn't sure if it was me or my uncle who pulled them trigger. I guess I was trying to intimidate them. It doesn't work. They casually talk to me about something and then without warning Dr. Brenner shoots my right ear off with a pistol.

      I cry out in pain (S hears me and tries to shake me awake). It doesn't hurt as much as I expected it would. They tell me that they will shoot off the other ear if I don't comply.


      I wake up and tell S I am OK.

      After WBTB


      W Aged Up
      I'm at my Grandma P's house in the bedroom sleeping on the bed. I've slept in later than everybody else. I roll over and see some old drawings I made in my childhood on the wall. My grandma will have decided to have kept them. They are hyper realistic and drawn in pencil. Somehow, they are holographic. I think to myself that maybe I should get back into art.

      W, my brother's son who is due in September, bursts into the room with his friend, Ian. He's four years old. I can't tell who is who and I feel bad about it. But now I know it is because W isn't born yet. One of them has buck teeth. I follow them around the house and then one kid is missing. I find W/Ian eating dish cleaning tablets under sink. Standard kid behavior I guess


      Lucid Fragment
      I'm in a large mall, reminiscent of one from an old marching band trip from high school. I do a nose reality check and realize I'm dreaming. I double take...crap! I was dreaming that whole time before with W! I think to myself that step one is to find my DG...but my lucidity slips and I wander off.

      Conditions
      Medium workout early in day
      Big dinner
      2 drinks of alcohol
      Stayed up late
      6hr/30m WBTB
      Yuschak Primary Trigger (8Mg Galantamine, 250Mg Choline Bitartrate)

      Notes
      My theory on what happened here...sleep cycle issues. Instead of jumping into the same sleep cycle I was just in, I jumped into the beginning of a later one. I stayed up until about 2:30am playing Zelda and then set an alarm for 8:30am...so about 6 hours after sleep. I know that 5h45m has been a good target for me, so I was experimenting with a larger time to test and see if it can be improved. One problem though is that I didn't have an established wake-sleep rhythm. Plus, I stayed up longer than the typical 15m during the WBTB. I planned slightly longer at 20m but it was more like 30m. I don't think the alcohol will have mattered much because of the later timing, but it could have played a part. Lesson learned: Next time, have an established sleep rhythm. Gonna say data inconclusive about 6h/20m WBTB setup.

      Updated 09-05-2023 at 08:05 PM by 99808

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , nightmare , false awakening , memorable , dream fragment
    6. War Letters

      by , 05-02-2023 at 01:41 PM
      I actually had this dream yesterday but forgot to post...oops.


      I'm sitting on a catwalk outside somewhere (the industrial kind, not the fashion one) reading letters a girl has been sending me. I'm guessing this girl is my dream girlfriend, and she is beautiful. Medium length brown hair, wide face, green eyes, it's all I can think about as I read the letters she's sent me. With them is a drawing she made for me and a photo of her. In her letters she tells me about the drawings she's been doing and how much she misses me, as I've gone to war. I begin writing a letter in response to hers, and I barely have the heart to tell her how bad it's been, how I might not come home, so I instead write about how much I loved her artwork.

      As I'm sitting on this catwalk I look around and see I'm in a green garden outside of my Grandmother's old house, which is a place I dream about a lot. The sun is shining so bright the reflection of it off of the bright green grass blinds me. Then, behind me, I hear shouting and gunshots being fired. I turn around and see the door to an abandoned building, which the catwalk is connected to, being blown off as smoke comes pouring out of the doorway. Soon after that, soldiers come running through, firing at everyone around them, and all I do is watch while holding the letters in my hands. And then I woke up.


      The girl in this dream is the same one from my school ghost dream I posted a month ago, I guess I have a type.
      Tags: art, girl, grandmother, war
      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. 29 Jul: Dying tortoise and salvaging stuff from a market

      by , 07-29-2022 at 03:39 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP[/B]

      Some place with a large table in the middle of a garden. It has pots and plants and all sorts of clutter and then I spot a large tortoise almost looking like clay, in the middle of it. I realize it is a real tortoise, but she is so dehydrated, she is turning brown. I open up a path through the stuff on the table to access the critter and immediately it moves toward the edge of the table and plunges her head in a tall vase with wated that is below the table. The tortoise drinks tons of water, seems to regain some vitality. I wonder who trapped the poor bugger in there.

      On a bus returning from a day on the beach or something. Seems one of my childhood memories when I used to go with other kids on a kind of open summer camp, in which we returned home at the end of the day. I am accompanied by my school friend Mara and her nasty brother. I am taking a ride home with their mother who is picking us up on her van. While we wait, I find a box with some used sneakers by the side of the dumpster. Ricardo mocks me for picking it up but I tell him I sell hundreds of items like these every month and make a buck from it. He doesn't seem to believe, but he shuts up and goes away. Then I notice that there are a couple dumpsters full to the brim with pairs of shoes, used and new. I wish I could pick them all. Then their mother arrives and I ask if she has bags on her van. She has a blue plastic trash bag and a blue IKEA shopping bag. I ask her to wait for me while I fill them up. Then someone points out that there is a street market just behind the dumpsters and someone just abandoned an entire workbench with new and unused baby clothes for anyone to take home. I go grab them first and stuff the two bags with it. Then my mother appears out of nowhere and tells me my friends had to go to the toilet at a café, so we can spend a bit more time here. She also finds another abandoned workbench full of handmade bijouterie and artwork inspired by cottagecore and elves, fairies, etc. The bijouterie is all in large boxes and she stacks them in order to carry it all to the van without bags.
    8. ccclxxxiv. Space dread, foreign land, art/drawing class

      by , 05-09-2022 at 06:37 PM
      2022 May 8th

      Fragment:

      Something like NMS. Flying through space in a system of a few planets. There's a Dyson sphere surface (like in FL before entry) and there's a planet which just seems to be melding or embedded with the sphere surface (which in itself appears impossibly flat). Something feels slightly trippy as I start to warp towards this planet.

      (recall gap)

      Border control place, at an Arabic-looking kind of building. Some kind of ID is needed to enter this place, which is an unspecified foreign country.

      (recall gap)

      Then I'm in a drawing class. Feels like college but with a mix of university too. There are photocopies of classical Roman-themed drawings which are sitting upright on a conveyor system and going around the classroom. I'm late to the class and don't get a brief and such. I start trying to draw based on one drawing of a gladiator down on the floor, the composition is focused on his head, wearing one of those brass helms. (Like in Jean-Leon Gerome's "Pollice Verso")

      I get about halfway through drawing this with a BIC pen and then somebody takes away the reference drawing I was using. I get annoyed by this and I try to simply wait to get it back and make attempts on my own to continue my drawing but it seems like it's not going to happen. I try to ask my tutor V for help but this doesn't go so well because he's trying to talk and me and others keep interrupting him and he forgets where he was with it, so he never really finishes circling around to any of us.

      Then the class is ending and my drawing remains unfinished, even though I'd been trying to make do without the reference. As people are leaving, someone takes the drawing I was working on, though I don't realise at first. When I do realise, I get annoyed and a bit frustrated by how everything was going.

      I just can't find the drawing anywhere and assume someone stole it. V and JC were waiting for me to finish looking because V was offering to give us a ride home and now they've been waiting a bit too long and just leave without me. It's now night time outside and there are other people around, so I am unable to distinguish who they are or where they went, in the dark.

      At this point I try to reverse time, without much fine control over how much time to reverse. The dream ends after a failed attempt where I reverted time too much, I think.

      Notes:

      - The main "trippy" thing about what was going on in the first segment was more or less what I could only ever describe as a feeling of dread when I first played some games like FL and when I experimented with placing planets and objects in such ways that the effect was so unnatural and which meant that when physically navigating these instances in a ship created a feeling very much like a fear of unknown and a sensation like falling. I can't really describe the effect on me too well because it has always felt particularly unique and I've never heard any special term for it, so weak comparisons are the best I can do.

      - I haven't thought much at all about something like the mentioned gladiator's painting for quite some time, though it is definitely amongst my favourites in paintings of such styles. The closest thing I can think of right now that has any associative resemblance would be thinking of a hairstyle for a character for H.
      -- The other aspect of this in the segment, is that the drawn reference of the gladiator that I was looking at was exceptionally well drawn and originally in graphite. The dead gladiator's expression was that of shock, looking sideways to his right, which relative to the position of his head would be "up". The point of view was at eye level to the dead gladiator and there was a fracture or some other kind of damage to the helmet. I distinctly recall there being chainmail under his helm.

      - The whole atmosphere to the drawing/college segment was one of a transitional phase, much like university actually had been. There was some dedication on my part but I was still not "in tune" with all of it. Although I do not recall exactly the quality of my own work too much in this segment, it wasn't too far off the original drawing I was looking at for reference. Symbolically, as this had the feel of a transitional phase and there are aspects of hindrances and frustrations, this is likely related to some of my current issues, which are not with some external factor this time but with an internal one, since it reflects the seriousness I want to put in while also reflecting something of myself to be lacking, with regards to having the required drive to push myself along where I want to go. (I am not feeling able to adequately express the sentiment of the relevance of this to myself right now)

      - Again this dream shows a strong symbolic element relating to three principles; individuality, group and collective, which seem to be strongly recurring elements at present, or perhaps my mind is much more focused on noticing this type of recurring element lately.
    9. 30 Jan: Keanu Reeves on the bus and guest at Audrey Hepburn's house

      by , 01-30-2022 at 10:01 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I am sitting near the back of a bus. Keanu Reeves comes in and goes sit in the last row. I play cool and just make sure he sees me and notices me, so I try to engage later. I don't wanna annoy him for no with a rushed approach. Then he drops something and doesn't notice, so that's my cue. I pick it up and give it to him. Apparently it is something important, because he thanks me a lot and says he wants to reward me somewhow. As he looks through his bag looking for something, I say "You know, we have a common acquaintance." "Oh really, who?" And I say "DJ K. You worked together at a film." And he is like "Whom?" I didn't expect him not to remember, so I insist and say maybe he forgot because it was a long time ago, but they were pretty close and I even have pics of them together. He is curious and wants to see the pics but I don't have them with me on my phone. I tell him I can send it later. He asks for my number and I feel like my mission is accomplished.

      I visit a botanical garden and check a little corner that I loved very much. There are two guys there making some sort of inspection. One asks for my opinion about the flowerbed arrangements. It looks gorgeous, very colorful and diverse. I say I have never seen it so gorgeous. We talk about the evolution of the garden. Then some rich guy, a movie star, arrives in a big SUV, stops in front of us and very theatrically, comes out with an entourage. One of his bodyguards puts some sort of key inside a stone carving in some stone steps on the opposite side of the path in front of us. The stone stairs pull in magically and reveal another set of stairs going underground. Then everyone around goes in and since I am curious I go after them. Someone questions if I am supposed to be allowed in, but no one seems to care. A the end of the stairs we walk down a corridor that looks like service tunnels, with art pieces stored in storage rooms or hanging on the walls. It is an access to some house of an artist. The house itself has a really exotic decoration. Finally we arrive at the main area and I learn it is actually Audrey Hepburn's house. It is huge. Although we entered via an udnerground tunnel, the house actually spreads up through an entire building several storeys high. We head for the top terrace, where there are two indidivual houses on top of it and get to see we are in the middle of other city buildings. The terrace has different levels, one looks like a normal rooftop with a pool and direct access to the house we just came from. But then we go down a few stairs and there is another level that looks like a restaurant, with rowns of tables outside in front of another building which is a kitchen and another level with a private cinema. I meet Audrey, she is so nice, but I tell her I am not so sure about her house. Seems cozy but also just too much and so kitsch with weird art everywhere, which makes it overwhelming to the senses. I even find a pot in the middle of the way with some Buddha ststues and jewels inside, just abandoned there and I take them out and put the budddhas on top of a boulder that is on the side of some stone stairs. Then try to untangle a necklace to also hang it there but I fall in love with it and I put it on me. It is made of a dark metal, deep blue stones and peacock feathers. Some security guard looks at me sideways and I say "Don't worry, I wont leave with it on, I'll just wear it while I am here." Then everyone starts heading to the cinema because there will be some movie preview. There is a lobby where guests have to leave bags and coats and check-in and I get in the line. In front of me is a girl with a baby in her arms, and she seems a bit stressed, because the computers crashed and they can't log us in. I get her a chair and offer to hold the baby for a while, which she accepts after a while. The movie started and we are stuck outside but the baby is adorable and I am ok, don't even know if I want to watch the movie.
    10. cccxxxviii. Games, Pressured by others, Decision made without consulting me

      by , 10-31-2021 at 02:39 AM
      4th October 2021

      Scraps:

      (a long dream, but poor recall)

      Some RTS segment and I recall beaches and water.

      One part a bit Minecraft-like or some other game. T is here and someone else is with me? Some kind of tower, or otherwise large structure.

      One of the last parts of the dream, I am my alter-ego and there are interactions with me as such. The other people are dream-generated. They seem to be pressuring me, or something? Despite my form, I feel slightly shorter than others.

      Some other dream? H has convinced mom and dad to bring S over here. I think H goes to pick them up and I remember seeing them all at one point. I feel concerned about S because of all the usual reasons regarding costs and also because of the long trip.

      Notes:


      - The last part was certainly a reflection of how I sometimes don't feel listened to or validated on, regarding both matters of money and of companionship. In the segment, some beliefs I hold as very important are partly betrayed by my closest, besides the fact I feel it may be detrimental to both S's health and to my financial situation.

      - That same segment probably also relates to how I have often been very easily upset by changes to what a situation is and changes to what it would be or would have been.

      - More recently it has been more frequent for me to take on my alternate form in my non-lucid dreams. In this case, the context likely relates to my art and some perception that the expectations of others are above my own. My stature is clearly metaphorical in regards to my feelings in terms of recognition, but this dream element also relates directly to some of my choice themes and how I've often felt physically inadequate in some specific areas (primarily to my own expectations) when compared to others.
      -- I do not recall what exactly the other people were pressuring me about, but in terms of my waking life contexts, art is the most directly relevant context here.
    11. cccxix. A's late husband, Dreaming of dreams

      by , 08-29-2021 at 04:06 PM
      19th August 2021

      Away from home at the time.

      Scraps:

      Something about a big drill at the tail end of a dream before waking.

      Before that, something more adventure-like.

      Another bit about S and A. But S was implied to have died and A was having a conversation with me, telling me all of this. In that moment I realise that was why we hadn't had any contact with her for a long time.



      21st August 2021

      Recall was good at first and dreaming presence was very decent too, lots of dreaming overall, but I was unable to write any recall down initially and it was left too long by the time I had another chance, meaning almost all detail was gone.

      Scraps:

      Something about dreaming and art.

      Last bit just before waking, I'm doing something charitable for someone. I'm somewhere like in Scotland and I remember moving around a fair bit. (in what way?)



      Notes:

      - I cannot know whether my dream realisation about A's husband has any truth or not, since we still haven't spoken. Sadly it's been years since we last spoke.

      - Dreaming about dreaming and art probably relates to some of the long-term lucid goals I have.

      - I'm not sure if I was still away on the 21st or not, possibly just after I had been.

      - I just realised while typing this DJ entry title that our host's husband passed away some years ago, perhaps this was what brought on the dream about A's husband, in some way.
    12. ccxcvii. Invitation, Unusual BFG

      by , 07-05-2021 at 02:48 PM
      5th July 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm looking at my profile on one of the art sites? I notice I have an unread PM and click to check it. It's from a site moderator I think and I check to see if it really is one, by looking for a certain symbol or something? The message reads at first something like "Dear user, as it is so rare to come across individuals like yourself", going on for a short bit and then asking further down if I'd like to become a moderator, myself.

      There's still some kind of special application process and scrolling through the, actually somewhat long, message, I see some red hyperlink buttons with white text. They have something to do with answering some questions for the application. At the start of these is also a green one and I perceive green as bad? The green one is for saying that you're not interested in this or something.

      I think about this and consider the responsibilities, the kind of things I might have to deal with, potentially unpleasant. And also the fact that it's not a paid role or position, it's voluntary even with the application and so on. Despite all this I still consider applying. Rest of recall faded.

      Fragment:

      In a game world of some kind, with H. It feels like DOOM, Quake or UT. The zone feels a bit void of anything at all, very empty. There's an orange-purple atmospheric effect? The only things that seem to exist around here are some kind of simple and white geometric structures that we walk across. I do some jumping tricks and get up on top of what is supposed to be like a small building. There's a "BFG 9000" here on the flat rooftop, it's a secret pick-up. This BFG has a unique design and is really quite big, as I pick it up I visually note that H gets it too.

      The weapon's design is chunky at the start, then it becomes tri-pronged kind of and extends almost two yards in front. These bits sticking out are like electro-magnetic rails and they are a silvery metal but with a light blue electric glow. The rest of the design is primarily green, the green tone I associate with DOOM.

      Anyway, then a boss or elite enemy appears or something. I consider whether or not we should use our new BFGs on it and end up deciding not and that we should just use regular rocket launchers to fight it. I think about the fact that the BFG has very limited ammo and sooner or later we'll end up firing at the same time anyway in combat situations, effectively wasting shots.



      Notes:

      - On waking and trying to draw the weapon in its most basic form I realised I couldn't imagine what the grip for it could be like. I then realised I've never really paid attention to this detail on BFG designs.

      - The first dream may relate to how I have sometimes done things freely for others because I felt that it was important enough to do as a voluntary thing. The issue has often been for me that I have not been either rewarded nor recognised for it and not even getting some recognition for helping makes it feel like I've been used for my eagerness, ultimately making me feel naive and cynical about such things.
    13. Strange star | [25.04.2021]

      by , 04-25-2021 at 04:44 PM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Strange star
      I am viewing stars in a sort of program, but it's somehow also real, as if I am flying through space myself. There is a sort of feeling that is somewhat scary, and also a bit exciting. I come past stars that look like normal stars, glowing in their usual red, blue and yellow. But then I come across a massive structure. It reminds me of the death star, but as I look closely, the structure is much different. It seems artistic, with abstract geometry.



      There was something that happened before that, but I don't quite remember.
    14. cclii. Non-lucid lucidity and simulated abilities, Family trips, Swamp freight

      by , 04-16-2021 at 10:00 AM
      16th April 2021

      Dream:

      I am in someone else's lucid dream. It's someone I used to know, maybe L's friend, J? Not quite, but there's another friend too. It looks a bit like a small church, lots of dark stain wood. I think there's a greater proportion of wood than there is stone, I seem to recall.

      Anyway, since I'm not actually lucid myself, I think about testing a theory. I think of asking my friend to give me moderator privileges as if this was a Minecraft server. But I am unable to catch up to ask him, as he moves around. So I end up trying commands by myself, like the teleport-jump to where I'm looking. The commands sort of work. Although I am unsure of how to even do this, somehow, I intuitively bind the commands to my mind or something, so no typing is required.

      But I'm not lucid and yet I am reminded by all of this about a technique I read here on DV a couple of days ago. Before I try a teleport-jump or a through command, I spend a couple of seconds visualising the result a bit, but really it's too faint. It does help my non-lucid self use these commands though.

      I remember this part of the dream was highly detailed but I can't recall any further about it now. Transition?

      I'm in a restaurant with my family. We're leaving soon? The place seems to be mixed with old home or something. But I need to go to the bathroom. It doesn't seem especially clean in here. I try the stall, as I have privacy concerns and as I'm about to pull my pants down, I realise that there's no toilet at all in the stall, just a tiny plastic bin. Outside the stall, in the bathroom, there are only wall urinals. I exit the stall and entering the bathroom is a black woman, she has curly hair, a somewhat round but well defined face, she's about my height and probably a similar age.

      I tell her I wouldn't bother with the bathroom at all, and just wait until home. She seems disappointed by this. I walk out of the bathroom.

      (recall gap)

      Then I'm at my old home, but think to myself that I'm not actually there or something. (pre-lucid thought about real location?) There's just some feeling, anyway.

      Me and the rest of the family are getting ready for something? It's early morning I think. Mom says dad needs some apples and I tell her I can go get them (since I feel ready anyway) and I shout for dad, asking what kind he wants. I don't remember hearing a reply back. Eventually I think about just teleporting to outside the store below. But something stops me and it just doesn't work. I remember being in my old room and seeing outside, standing from the doorway to the room. Light seems consistent with early-ish morning.

      Some other sequence. I'm in some place in South America. Swamps or marshes. A flatbed ship carrying containers is on the water but there are some buildings around, sort of in an Arabic style more than a local one. I try to get on board the ship and then look for some circuit board chips? Some interactions with someone else, possibly an old friend.

      Another bit, possibly the earliest sequence in the dream. A visual and physical representation of the old art website? Very vague recall of this bit. Looks sort of like a disco club, with certain elements like the web banner physically represented as a room backdrop. Someone talks to me about the computing efficiency of the VFXs being used. Vague recall of thoughts about how much I charge for commissions, feeling like it's not enough.



      Notes:
      - I was not actually "lucid" at any point throughout this dream. My dream self was somehow partly aware of this by the implied context of the dream and with the commands thing tried to devise a way of having abilities more akin to what's possible when actually lucid.

      - There are a few things here that challenge recent conscious thoughts, namely; my commission prices, my initial thoughts about the technique linked in the entry and some recent thoughts on shared dreaming. Basically the dream presented opposites for all of these things, I don't think necessarily for me to accept them but to generally think about them further.

      - Using the commands to have lucid-like abilities in the dream felt like a pretty clever idea at the time, especially since it partially worked.

      - Curiously, the church location may have been brought on by the fact that I have spent a fair bit of time with H both in real churches and in church-like buildings he's built in Minecraft.
    15. 20 Feb: Weird prank, art heist, silly debate

      by , 02-20-2021 at 09:05 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I go to my car outside my gates, to get some bags I really need the bags, but I am a bit afraid because it is night already and I am alone. I hear strange noises, so I look around and see some small boars, not so far from me. One has a chunk of bloodied meat hanging from his mouth and I feel a bit concerned. But they don't seem like they want to attack me. I look over the small cliff they came from and see a bunch of boars and cats apparently eating some corpse. One of the cats is my cat Buda. I go there and all the animals run away from me. I realize the dead animal is a giant pig, the size of a very fat human. The animal has tied feet and has burned skin like it had been cooking over a fire. But it ain't dead, it still breathes. At this point, there are other people around who also came to see what happened and all are in shock about the poor pig that was being cooked alive and somehow escaped. They can't handle it, but beg me to film and post online. Turns out there is a restaurant really nearby that is famous for cooking whole pigs but nobody expected them to cook the pigs alive.
      I am confused that a lot of it doesn't make sense. How is the pig alive after everything, including having cats and wild boars eating his guts? And how did it get here with feet tied up? Then I see some guys who look familiar, some famous comedians. They admit to have set up a prank to promote the said restaurant, and that the pig is actually a man in disguise, but once again it makes no sense and I find it all absurd.

      I am with a group of international friends at an hostel in some foreign country. We did a heist and stole a bunch of lesser known paintings of famous painters worth millions. We are saying goodbye to each other, packing bags. I am also saying goodbye to the hostel cats and I feel really heartbroken to leave them behind. Some became really fond of some of us and I ask if nobody wants to adopt any cats. They say no, that they will be fine. The owner of the hostel feeds them and they are used to see people come and go. But I am looking for one in particular that got really attached to us. Our rooms are in the basement with access to a garden where I go look for the cat. Then the police comes into the hostel and raids our rooms. I see some of my friends being arrested, others fleeing and being caught on the street. But I was out of sight in the garden and manage to escape to a back alley that zigzags through neighboring buildings. I leave everything behind, only have my wallet on my pocket. I see police starting to spread out and look for the ones who escaped. I got to another neighborhood and see an entrance to a small shopping center. It's basically closed with only a couple shops open, so I plan to lay low and wait. I go down some stairs to a lower level floor and find a kind of auditorium with people seated and watching something on a screen. I presume it's some movie so I seat down among them. Turns out it is an auction and the items are being shown on screen. I spot one of my partners in crime among them, trying to sell his painting even for some bucks just to get rid of it and make some money to leave the country. But there were some agents in the audience and they catch him. Then they start looking around and also checking bags, trying to find more of us. I don't flinch and since I only have my wallet, they let me go.

      I am at some kind of charity event for an animal shelter or similar and a reporter comes with a couple vets and start asking if we consider vegan feed safe and healthy for cats and dogs. We find that a bit odd but the organizers of the event all says yes. Then the reporter gives the word to the vets she brought along and they start raising questions about longevity and biology and I get into a really heated debate with them about it. I present scientific data and they question my authority on the subject. I then pull out my credentials and one of the vets looks me down, claiming I have a low paid job and no credit. So I exaggerate a bit my professional history, to prove her wrong - no lies, just a bit of embellishment. I then feel so bad for having fallen down through this ego trap.
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