comment lucid WILD/pseudoWILD The post-WBTB part of the night started with a failed SSILD attempt. I vaguely remember doing 3 long cycles but I think I actually only did one or one and a half and did the rest in the dream. Which was a FA on a field next to a forest and then it developed into a longer dream… nothing to write about. Later in the morning, I found myself awake again (and reminded myself that SSILD needs to be done with the intention to expect FAs and to do a RC). I decided to do SSILD again, this time a bit more aggressively, to survive at least 3 and ideally 4 long cycles. But it actually put me into a WILDing position - there was motion hypnagogia during the 2nd cycle (bed shaking and similar sensations). R. was breathing loudly next to me, almost snoring. I considered using it as an anchor, but he changed position. I was doing my 3rd SSILD cycle and dreams or dreamlets were forming around me, but when I noticed them or engaged with them, they collapsed, like snapping out of a daydream. Imagining a scenario or location also didn’t work. I wanted to change position to the other side and fall asleep. I still gave physical separation a chance, even though I felt too grounded in reality - but as expected I moved with my real body and opened my eyes for a moment. I rolled over onto my other side and lazily did the last cycle. Knowing I wouldn't force my entry into the dream, I decided to just let go most or all of my awareness, to let my mind wander, just let the sleep come and the dream form, and to do a RC in a few minutes. There was a short semi-sexual fantasy (1 minute max). I don’t know if it was a dream or dreamlet or just visual thoughts, I was completely passive. I ended up half-sitting on my bed. Aren’t I in the dream already? I thought and tried to fully sit and get up. As I was getting up, my vision glitched and I thought “I did it”, not needing any RC. I slowed down a little and touched the sheets, they were silky. That made everything much better and I got up fully. I left the room immediately. The door to the second bedroom was bricked up. There was wallpaper around it, but there was only a wall where the door should be. And the hallway was extremely narrow, I could only just squeeze into the main part of the hallway. My first goal was to look in the mirror (in the hallway above the shoe cabinet). Almost there, I remembered that I’d wanted to look at my hands at some point (I've never used it as an RC and never examined my hands in my dreams). The front of my vision was blurry and/or my field of vision started 30-50cm away from me, I could only see my fingertips and my hands were disappearing in the fog. They were wide and strangely deformed and almost impossible to count. 6 a 3? I don't know. Then I looked in the mirror. It was clearly me. The image was distorted, but nothing disturbing - my face was a little wider and irregular and my eyes were a little slanted, but it was undoubtedly me and I was smiling, looking happy. I remembered that people use mirrors as portals, and since the plan today was to teleport (the main goal - to use the TV), I tried to climb into the mirror. It's small and it's high up, so I couldn't really do it, but it was obvious that there was space behind the mirror, I could stick my hand in and grab the frame from the inside. I wanted to put in a better location, so I reached behind me for a picture, but then I got a better idea - I went through the advertising flyers on the shoe cabinet and pulled one out. It had a beautiful landscape on it - blue sea, blue sky, green hill. I put it behind me so it would reflect in the mirror. It worked very well, the picture of the landscape filled most of the mirror and it looked realistic. I tried to climb into the mirror again, but as it was small, I got stuck and couldn't crawl any further. As I tried to use more force to push through, the dream faded.
comment lucid dream The postman woke me up. Back in bed, I remembered that I wanted to try lucid dreaming subliminal music. After a while, I was quite uncomfortable being on my back, so I found a position on my side that was compatible with headphones. But it still didn't suit me - I'd probably fall asleep, but it bothered me how my entire headspace was taken up by the music, even though I had it on minimum volume. I checked the time - half an hour had passed. I tried to fall asleep normally - changed position a few times. There were some visualizations - I imagined moving along a path and subconscious added the scenery around. It was quite nice, the landscapes were detailed, but it wasn't immersive and it wasn't going anywhere. I was on my left side and very close to falling asleep and felt very light vibrations. I remembered that I wanted to be more aggressive during WILD and get up right after the vibrations. So, without a single thought of my real body, I tried to get up and sit on the edge of the bed. And it worked. It had a real feel, but it was surprisingly easy, no duvet putting up resistance or anything like that. I did a nose-plug RC and could breathe. But at the same time it was unstable and I couldn't see anything. As I continued to get up, my head got dizzy, and when I tried to open my eyes, I saw my bedroom for a moment, the "dream filter" was on but it was confusing, and it felt like I was opening my real eyes out of the corner of my eye (probably an illusion), so I closed them again. And everything was shaky. I grabbed the curtain and used it for support and to stabilize - it was very fine, almost silky, not like IRL. I'm standing upright now, but still with my eyes closed. I walk carefully around the bed - I don't want to kill myself on the pile of clothes lying there. But in the dream, there's hardly anything there. Things are more stable, so I want to open my eyes, but I realize I'm starting to see, and instead of opening my eyes I blink and everything starts to become clearer. It's still confusing though and doesn't feel much like a dream. I leave the bedroom, hoping it will give me more stability and mental clarity. I go to the cat room. The furniture there is similar to real life, but it's tidier, and my cat is sleeping on the couch at the end of the room. She looks normal. When she sees me, she starts to stretch. I decide not to go any closer because I'm worried I might step on the real cat IRL (forgetting that my real body is in bed). As I leave, I hear a grunting sound, like something is bothering her, but it's a dream and I decide to ignore it and close the door. I'm going to the living room. It looks like it should - I guess - I don't look around too much and stay by the door. I still find it hard to believe that it's a dream, everything is so realistic as if I'm really there and I think how it doesn't compare at all with the visualizations. I do a nose-plug RC and take three breaths just to be sure, and I can breathe without a problem. I feel really weird because I haven't needed in-dream RC in months, but the dream feeling is so subtle that I can't wrap my head around that. I decide to try Tiktaalik's "focusing on the spine" RC. Spoiler for Result - don't read if you want to try it too: Nothing happens. I don't know what to expect, but everything seems normal (within the limits of my dream body - but with my level of lucidity I probably wouldn't notice any subtle dream body - real body difference). For some reason, I realize I'm naked, but I don't think it's RC related. I decide to go outside. I'm still aware that I'm naked, but it's a dream, so what. When I go outside, it's a strange feeling, being naked outside, but I don't see any neighbours. The street looks roughly like my street, but I don't examine the details. I want to try flying like an airplane (as I've imagined and incubated). I run down the street and call out in turn "Airspeed alive", "V1", "and rotate" and jump into the air with my arms spread wide. It doesn't work, I don't climb, I fall flat on the pavement, but I don't feel anything. I decide to try again, but this time I swap the lines, start with V1, but then correct myself and say them in the correct order and jump into the air again. I'm on a street corner somewhere and there are 3 guys, they look British and have Peaky Blinders haircuts. As I'm trying to take off, I jump on one of their backs (still naked). He doesn't look unhappy. I say "hey, handsome". He gets me off his back and takes me in his arms. He opens a door that apparently leads to a pub and puts me on a table. I'm not sure if he wants to hand me over to their care/get rid of me, or if he wants to share me. I start to feel myself waking up. Notes: - I am fairly confident this was a WILD, even though I was just barely aware when I felt the vibrations. I don't think I dreamt that, although it's hard to be 100% sure. Anyway, the continuity of going from being in the bed, trying to sleep, and then standing in my bedroom, lucid dreaming, was a total mindfuck. - I want to give that "flying like a plane" another try someday, maybe really focusing on the sensation of taking off and imagining it, rather than just saying the words. I have enough real-life flying experience to make it work. - I don't know why I steered it towards possibly sexual content, even though it wakes me up.
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