Recent DJ Posts

These dreams were extremely vivid this time. I was really amazed by how vivid. I remembered every single detail of the dreams right when I woke up, but gradually forgot most detail until writing some key notes.

This vividness perhaps has to do with getting very close to successfully WILDing at bedtime before the dreams. My heart started beating really fast when I was this close, and I couldn't calm it down, so I decided to stop and ask at the forums the next day and went to sleep naturally, and TA-DA! Super vivid dreams, much more than I've had in a long while.

It kinda sucks that I happened to fall asleep in the middle of the night in a not as good as super happy mood because that would've been really great, being that these dreams were super vivid. But no, both or all of them were kind of that awkward helpless and self-conscious doing stupid things feeling I sometimes get in social situations when I'm not feeling super happy and confident like I want to.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am in Art Class with Mr. Gamble in the print-making room (not in the room where you paint and print and apply acid, but the other room where you draw mostly). The room is full of students, some of them are standing up, some are sitting down, some are sitting down on impractical objects. I am sitting down on the table near the center, but slightly close to the rack in the corner of the room. I am swinging my legs around, minding my own business, doing nothing, just sitting there and observing or daydreaming a little bit. Lauren, Liz, and Bruce are nowhere to be found thank goodness for me in my waking reality looking back.

Mr. Gamble asks me about something, an assignment that I need to get done, this part of the dream probably associated with my anxiety IWL about completing the pop-up art. I apologize to him and say I'll get it in for sure on time. I begged god not to let him over-talk like usual. Thankfully, after asking me about that thing he walks away. I think he tells something to the class but I wasn't listening. Then I think he walks out the door.

Ms. Taylor is now in the classroom. Then I watch my brother come into the classroom. He has some friends waiting outside the door, the same and more friends as in the dream I had the previous night. He asks Ms. Taylor is he could go out to the food places down the street, as if Ms. Taylor was our mom. I don't question this at all. All I could think about at this point is coming with him. Ms. Taylor says "Yeah, go ahead." I say I will go with them. Then Josef leaves out the door not even noticing me there. I am hesitant to follow them now because it would be weird. Ms. Taylor says "well, go?." I feel rushed and embarrassed, and angry at Ms. Taylor for being angry at me. I run out the door to the hallway and I look down the hall towards staircase A. I see my brother walking back and from a distance, holding a pizza form or box or something, he tells Ms. Taylor that there's a group pizza thing and asks if he could buy it for him and his friends. She says yes, and he starts running back towards staircase A, into the distance. I wasn't able to ask him if I could go with him, and for that I feel frustrated and bad. He didn't notice me standing there speechless and waiting to speak at all! It's like I wasn't even there the whole time! Well I don't think that, I'm really just having vague 'forever alone' thoughts and feelings come to me. I impulsively follow him. Everyone is wearing light winter coats. It is snowing very lightly, and there is snow about a foot and a half deep on the other side of the drive in road of the school on the side toward the park, while the snow in the main grass area in the middle is also either about a foot deep, deeper, or lightly buried that you can see some grass. As I am walking toward my brother leaving the school and starting up to the middle area, I am playing with my cellphone, and it makes a loud noise that I don't even recall now from reading my notes. Then I am playing with some kind of thin chord from my cellphone that could be a part of a headphone. I trip and fall into the snow as I cross the drive in road toward the park, and hide in the snow, for the first time noticing and watching my brother play snowball fight. I then notice that the sliding part of the cellphone and the thin chord has submersed into ice cold snow, and am worried that it will break. I somehow check if it still works. Then I continue watching my brother. I feel left out, and want to reach out to him but he is so far away, and if I did, it would be awkward and embarrassing.

Then I wake up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This next dream I only clearly remember the part with Liz eating a butterfly. The rest is a very foggy memory of being on a bus with some awkward moments among friends that I blame on myself.

I'm not sure if we were also on a bus at this part or not, but it appeared to be a dark, small or hidden, location. I am there with Lauren and Liz. Liz is sitting on a bench or some higher seat above me and Lauren, and Lauren and I are looking slightly up at her. I don't see Lauren face very often in this fragment. Both of our eyes are focused on just Liz. I actually remembered completely clearly every single word and a phrase that stood out, that Liz said to us, and our responses. We are talking about butterflies for some reason. Liz says she hates butterflies, and starts eating one. We see her eating one, but it's like a thought form imagination that we each share or something, because none of us think she is actually eating a butterfly. The butterfly looked a little foggy as well. Then, to tease us even more, Liz uses a Harry Potter wand she had laid out beside her and casts and quick spell to manifest a real butterfly. It was a very large butterfly - noticing after waking up from the dream - but none of us questioned the size, we all knew it was real. She slowly starts eating the butterfly, tearing off the wing material from it's stems, one area by one. My and Laurens' reactions to this include super sad partially fake crying, yelling, "NO!!"'s, "STOP IT"'s, and EWW's. I am feeling very sad seeing this happen. In the end, she tore off 3 sections of the left wing. We were all so sad. The butterfly was very beautiful and very still while this was going on. It looked like a monarch, but was blue.

Observation: I seem to unknowingly control the situation in the dream by having hopes about something and worries about something. Ie: With Mr. Gamble, he rarely ever stop talking in real life, but in this dream I really wanted him to not talk so much as he does, and somehow felt like I had a bit of control over this by commanding it in my mind, and it worked! Maybe if I learn to notice these control coincidences and increased law of attraction in dreams, I will be able to recognize I can control things much more easily and thus have a lucid dream.

Vividness: 5/5
Recall: 3/5

Everything begins at a party. It's the party I went yesterday, but in my dream it seems, that I'm having here much more than yesterday night. Anyway, I'm atracted by a few girls, so I go towards them and have a chat. One is blond the other one has brown curly hair. It seems to me that I have seen her at some other place, but I don't recall that I saw her in a dream. I don't know how it comes, but I'm much more attracted to her than to the blonde.
There is a passage I forgot but it ended that I kissed the blonde. I had the feeling I was kissing the open end of a bottle. She is a very bad kisser, but we can't stop. That other girl, let's name her W , seems to be disappointed, but she hides it very well. W goes her way, I remain with that bottle mouth.
There is a guy appearing and it seems that this is her boyfriend. I'm confused, feel very awkward, they leave and I'm alone again.
I look for W and find her somewhere. I want to talk to her, that I didn't want to hurt her and that the other is a bitch. But she doesn't want to and says this to me:

W: Haha the joke's on you, you bastard! You just wanted to get laid so you bet on two girls. But as a bad player, you bet everything and received nothing. You are deplorable.

She runs away and I ran after her. After a chase that seems to me an eternity I could stop her.

W: Why should I listen to you?

I don't know anything to say. Why don't lie?

Me: Because I love you! (Yep I'm definitely lying at that point)

She burst out crying and starts to kiss me

Gosh That was confusing. lol

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

Slipping a Picture Out

A younger man and a man who seemed to be something like his mentor. Doing some organizing or redecorating of some sort. Cleaning? Inside an old, historic feeling building. Many large windows around one end.

The younger man (was it me? I seemed to switch back and forth from third person to somewhat identified with him) had accomplished something, some landmark. He seemed like a learned novice. He had a picture of himself to mark the occasion.

The older man took a frame off the wall. The frame and its anchoring to the wall was complex, attached to a simple wood rod decoration with a few soft undulances and shallow, smooth, symmetrical crevices. It was dusty. Some old, shriveled cobwebs huddled against it. The frame somehow slid onto this bar to connect to the wall. He told the younger man that he was going to replace the older picture of another of his (students?) with this one. The younger man felt uncomfortable with this, knew it would upset the person who was being replaced. The older man didn’t open the frame, just slowly slipped the other picture out of the bottom, surprising the young man, who was me, and then slid the new picture in.

The new picture looked casual and somewhat professional, but not strong, solid, and fitting like the old picture. It looked too new, too much of a body shot, too bright, not authentic and serious and traditional enough, with muted colors, like the picture that used to be there. But it did look happier and younger.

The man whose picture had been replaced came over from the dim back of the building, which felt like an old bar. He was somewhat angry and jealous, disappointed, about his picture being removed. He didn’t feel positively toward the young man.