Although it is currently a barren dream time for me (lucid or otherwise) I take comfort that it's less than a month since I had a LD (albeit a short one) I duck and dive my way through my dream attempts (a little bit of this, a try at that) and my naturally paranoid nature hints that I often seem to be blocked at every turn...almost as of some outside force is either toying with me or hinting that dream attempts will harm my health. I remember a comment by Terence McKenna that his ego screamed that he was dying when he started a new psilocybin trip because it would strip away his humanity and that ran entirely counter to its natural function...that kind of feeling maybe. I toyed with DEILD last week and programmed to wake up much earlier to the dreams-end and got hints of the old “ill feeling” that so distracts from dream-recall and re-entry...and that feeling of dread soon disperses once its job is perhaps done, so is that maybe not real? I'm doggedly working my way through Ratey's brian book. I've jumped forward...as is my way...to a section about dreams and how the 40hz oscillation ramps back up when REM sleep starts. I determined to WBTB last night and had headphones and a Youtube vid primed to see what happens...and slept right through the night, without waking, till 08.30 (a very very rare event) See what I mean? Mr paranoid. I'm interested in DMT, psilocybins etc and maybe their effect (even in small doses) on dreams. With my new-found respect for our frantically hard-working neurons I've started thanking them for any dream crumbs they see fit to throw from the table. (that's not my mad idea...I read it here first) Last night I told them I'm up for dash of pineal activity to maybe pep-up my dreams and any cooperation in this matter would be much appreciated. Hey! I'm as sane as the next man! (and the way this World's going that's not much of a recommendation.) Against the current grain I woke an hour after I went to bed (with just a hint of a dream) then an hour later with a (what is lately) a rare clear and vivid dream fresh in my mind...so much so that I determined to get up specially to write this out. I'm being pursued by a doggedly-determined but apparently loving female vampire through a neighbourhood (most of my dreams normally not even vaguely menacing) I duck and dive everywhere and I'm looking around for a weapon of sorts. I don't seem to be terrified...just a bit anxious (as you would) and I'm as determined to escape as she seems to be to drink my blood. Come back dear, it won't hurt...much...that sort of thing. I'm moving towards what I take to be maybe a 19th century hostelry and I can see the landlord? looking-out at me. I get a clear feeling that he's about to close the frontage of his premises (as if he's encountered this before and doesn't want to get involved) Then I wake up. Phew. I now realise that I didn't feel ill and maybe should have tried for a DEILD lucid but a combination of my surprise at this (nowadays) rare event...and perhaps my understandable reluctance to go back into that scenario thank you very much, I just got up to pen this So...encouraging. Ever onwards (I must stop saying that) I'll keep reading, experimenting, flitting from one thing to another and reporting back every small victory.
Before I completely forget this one from Monday night, I may as well use it to inaugurate the new journal. At some unusual state park sort of place, there's a stable I have to stay in for the night where this creepy guy keeps a weird creature that is a bit of a cross between a pig and a giraffe. I can't resist petting the critter, and it acts nicely for part of the night, but it soon starts nibbling at my hand and further up my arm until I realize the guy was using my fondness of petting animals in order to kill me. Luckily, I get away with just a few scars on my arm (which remain throughout the dream) instead. I end up killing the guy, tearing him into three pieces with my bare hands, and scattering the parts. At the same time, I can sort of see from the perspective of the police beginning to search (sort of like changing scenes on a television show). I know they'll soon discover the body (or the parts thereof), and I don't want to leave tracks in the thick snow piled around the park, so I begin my escape by jumping into a river and following it downstream a ways until I reach a bridge. Then I start running through the snow on all fours, always barely one step ahead of the police. During my escape, I hide in snowpiles, assume various guises such as attempting to appear left-handed when I ride horses, take a bus out of the state, and for some reason solve an anime jigsaw puzzle in a locker room. The last place I remember hiding is behind a sign on a grassy, sunny hill near a mental health facility. I curl up with a stuffed animal and bite my thumbnail, acting as though I were a small, terrified child. Staff from the facility find me, and I get taken inside to be treated as a patient. That's about all I remember before I had to be woken up to run errands. This dream seems to contain another instance of being unable to shake pursuers no matter how elaborate my escape is, as well as another instance of running on all fours.
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