• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. The End of the Beginning

      by , 07-30-2019 at 12:12 AM
      I'm driving my car through a neighborhood around sunset time when I spontaneously realize I might be dreaming. I continue to drive the car, talking to myself about being lucid and focusing. I park the car on the side of the road and step outside. I walk to the front of the car and touch the hood before getting down on my hands and knees and feeling the pavement. I pick up a handful of dust and dirt from the road and roll it around in my hand. I want to sit down somewhere, so I imagine a bench on the other side of the road and release the dirt from my hand imagining it transforming into the bench. It was hard to do this, however, so it doesn't happen, but when I look farther up, a bench is there in front of me. I go to sit down and just observe around me for a while. I look up at the sky which has gorgeous colors of sunset with light and dark blues contrasting the streaks of clouds floating stationary high above. A bird also flies over head. I imagine the bird swooping down towards me, and sure enough, it heads straight at me with great speed. I duck out of the way exclaiming how close it was. The bird jumps up on the bench, and wants to climb on my finger. I hold it out but realize the bird is larger than I thought. It looks like a fluffy falcon or hawk with some kind of fancy feathers crowning the top of its head. I hold out my whole hand instead and it leaps onto it. A group of people comes up to me and starts talking, including me in their conversation. The whole time they're talking, I feel like the dream is speeding up and I try to slow it down by keeping myself grounded. Eventually, they walk away but I want to remember their names. I ask them but I can't recall any of them. Looking down at the concrete, I see the small ridges and patterns on top characteristic of smoothed concrete. I get down on the ground until my eyes are level with the ridges and imagine the sides of the ridges being trees with a path running down the middle. As I get up slowly, I find myself in the forest, still with the group I was talking to. The trees sway overhead, but I soon wake up.

      The title of this dream is to commemorate my physical dream journal being completed by this entry. May the second journal be more amazing than the first!
      Categories
      lucid
    2. A Guide to Myself

      by , 07-10-2019 at 02:00 PM
      Before I began dreaming, I was attempting the MILD after my second to last alarm went off, but so far, I had not yet fallen back asleep and was concerned my final alarm would be going off at any moment...

      I'm arriving home at night to a house that I'm not familiar with. Walking up to the door, I notice a lot of bicycles in the front yard. As I walk over to some of them, Goose, my GF's dog, runs up to me all energetic and he starts poking his head through the spokes trying to bite at them. I continue to walk up to the door. Once I enter, I see everyone sitting around nursing drinks I assume to be alcoholic. More than my roommates are there, though, and it feels like the end of a big party. Before walking farther in, we get on the subject of dreaming, and I break into a lesson for everyone. I tell them exactly what I was trying to do this morning, "Set your usual alarm clock time in the morning, but also go back 90 to 100 minutes before that and set another alarm. Get out of bed with this alarm, go to the bathroom or something, then go back to sleep all while repeating the phrase in your head, 'the next scene will be a dream'." I say how it's a good way to induce lucid dreams called the MILD method after implementing the WBTB method. I walk all the way into the main room now and sit with a couple guys discussing what I had said. They talk about weird things that could pop up in dreams like a duck wearing a leather jacket. I agree with them and ask them if they would question whether they were dreaming or not after they saw that. I also make a joke by saying "Duck Gun" trying to relate the ducks and leather jackets to Top Gun. It feels stupid but both of the other guys laugh. Suddenly, I get the feeling to do a reality check since I realize I've just been talking about them before. I push my fingers through my other hand successfully and realize I'm dreaming. I look around the room for a second trying to stay calm. There's a lot more people now, all of them talking. I want to go back outside so I get up to leave when one of the guys I was talking to also gets up and shakes my hand. It takes me a couple attempts to get his name right, but apparently it was "Lemon". I walk outside to find it's a brilliant sunny day. Summer comes to mind as spots of vibrant colors, I assume to be from flowers, cover my peripheral vision with large trees over the road in front of the house. It appears I'm in a neighborhood. There's a small picnic table with a pull out bench in the front yard and I go over and sit down. I try grounding myself in the dream more by looking over my hands and touching the wooden bench, feeling the grains and knots in the wood. A friend comes out of the house talking in a very sad voice, but I'm pre-occupied with maintaining my awareness. I suddenly decide to toss the bench I've been sitting on far away just to see what it would do. My roommate comes outside too, and I tell him I just threw the bench to infinity. As I watch it, I see it catch the wind, though, and it falls back in to the neighborhood some distance away. The idea of flying comes to me so I prepare to do this. Instead of my normal routine of jumping into the air to begin, however, I decide to be more controlled with it. I hold out my arms and imagine myself floating off the ground. Before I leave the ground, everyone leaves in a car and the wind becomes a bit gusty. Suddenly, I find myself starting to float. It's working! I continue to focus, also taking note of the surroundings. The wind starts to carry my off, much like a hot air balloon. As I'm drifting with the wind, I try to ground myself more and think of the next thing I want to do, but I wake up
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    3. 20 Feb: Live music at bar, photoshoot, puppy and dirty room

      by , 02-20-2019 at 09:17 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Friends running a school bar. Not going well, failling at pleasing costumers, lots of technical fails when playing live music. One night I come to help, suggest spontaneous performances, I sing a bit, people start to enjoy and I tell my friends it is a matter of time all problems get fixed and costumers start coming, since there are no competitors.

      A high fashion model is doing a photoshoot, she is really tired and upset with how it's going. I stay to watch and help her out and realize it's really a hard time for her. She is doing a series of photos wearing weird conceptual stuff, she can't move once its on and they have to carry her up some rocks, through caves, cold and wet places. Then at some point they want her to climb a vertical cliff because everyone else is afraid to do it and help her. I help her and she is very thankful.

      I watch some adorable movie and since there are now bendable screens, we can get a movie on a sticker, glue it to any surface and I take it to a bench by the sea and stick it there for people to watch if they sit there.

      I meet some kids with a tiny tiny puppy, they let me play with him, then I ask if they bought or adopted. The girl confesses they bought, kind of scared of my reaction as she noticed I meant it as criticism, but I try to be civil and say it's ok, they didn't know better and explain to them why adopting from shelters is so important and buying animals is wrong.

      Picking wood for my fireplace near my mom's house, but then head to a hotel instead of my home. My room is full of flour and other cake ingredients all over my bed. I tidy it up.
    4. The Triangle Room

      by , 09-20-2018 at 05:59 PM
      I'm in a small room with some other people sitting on a bench. The bench is up against a wall running the length of it, and the other two sides of the room are glass, forming a triangle shaped interior. I realize I'm dreaming just because of the vividness. I look at my hands and try to slow everything down. My vision feel constrained for some reason. I drop to one knee and try to ground myself by doing the finger push. It works pretty well, with some slight resistance at first. My vision, still constrained is bothering me so I reach up to my face to find I am wearing sunglasses. Taking them off makes it much better, and I have my peripheral vision back. I also take off a hat I was wearing and makes my vision better as well.. Remembering my dream intention to talk, I sit back down on the bench, about to call out to the dream, when I suddenly lose lucidity.
      Tags: bench, room
      Categories
      lucid
    5. Dream - Never Enough Time For A WILD & Keep Her Safe

      by , 05-28-2017 at 05:46 AM
      Date of Dream: SUN 28 MAY - 2017



      Dream No. 121 - Separated Sections


      Dream 121 A - Never Enough Time For A WILD
      The dream took place on the grounds of Camelot Rise Primary School but it was all Killester students. I was walking around with JS and at the same time, looking for WB whom I thought would most likely be in the library right next to the office area. I then had an idea that I was going to go to sleep and attempt WILD. So JS walked off while I found somewhere to lie down.

      I eventually found a wooden bench in the main area of the school and lay on it. I started to fall asleep and try not to move at all so I could be aware if I was to enter a dream within this dream. At one point, I did feel like I was about to slip into another dreaming state but then for some reason, I automatically woke up. Apparently there was only two minutes left before classes would start again. When I got off the bench, I saw WB standing beside the unit of the multipurpose room and her appearance seemed smaller and cuter compared to real life. I don't remember anything else about this dream.

      Dream No. 121 B - Keep Her Safe
      At the start of the dream, I find I was doing something strange and unusual with chocolate chip cookies. That soon passed and the dream scene went to something else. There was this gravel landing/taking-off strip in a desert and there was a smallish looking metal aeroplane on it. Apparently, mum, NB and myself were returning from our Croatia holiday.

      When on the plane, I figured that I wanted to sit about two seats away from them as I did have Dreamy WB with me. She was in the form of a small plush toy with her hair in the style of two braids. Still, my mum sat next to me and my brother sat behind me, so I quickly had to whisk Dreamy WB away from my lap and have her under my left arm, against my body, on the side next to the windows. I was pressing her really hard to make sure no one could see her until our destination was reached.

      The dream scene then skipped to me showing random people holiday destinations like I was on some Getaway show. One place was this deserted lighthouse-like winery that was all dark inside. I don't remember anything else about this dream.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    6. Dealing with naughty dreamlets

      by , 11-04-2015 at 06:30 PM
      Dl1 - In a changing room with benches all around the outside. D is needing help getting change. I kindly help him put his socks on. I then feel the urge to hug him despite him being a little .... I hug him and feel a relief wash over me. Maybe he is not so bad after all
      He offers me some of his food,a carrot. I sit down and take out my lunch it is a giant Baclava (greek cake with honey). On top there is strawberries and cream. I take a bit then offer him a strawberry. He opens wide and takes a bite like pittbull dog. His jaws are locked over the cake and my face, aaaaaaa!! (Hmm seems familiar), why do people keep biting me).

      Dl2 - On holiday, in a shalley type room with double doors opening onto a veranda. Below is a short drop down. There are cupboards below , I investigate and find they are full of food in jars. I sit on the grass in the sun and sample the food stuffs.

      Updated 11-04-2015 at 07:55 PM by 88638

      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. LD (18 october 2013)

      by , 10-19-2013 at 11:04 AM
      [COLOR="#008080"]I stand up from my bed and the first thing that comes in mind is RC. I do it and realize I'm dreaming. I look around the house and then the dream skips to a really nice place(Cherry blossoms, benchs etc.)I go and sit on the bench when a purpleish portal appears and 2 girls come from it. They looked like twins, One of them had blonde hair with blue eyes(Sunny) and the other one had black hair with red eyes(Dani). They had their hair tied up in a ponytail and they also had straight bangs. They asked me if I remember them.I tell them that I don't remember them so they fly away sad.I try to fly to them but couldn't. [/COLOR]
    8. Hold on to the bottle

      by , 06-12-2013 at 02:36 PM
      Date: 11 June

      Comments: A bit behind on journaling, today's entry to be posted later, and sorry for any typos.

      Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs

      Pre bed: multivits, l-arginine

      Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, started earlier (3+ hrs after sleep), dream content was normal this time (referring to l-arginine). Recall - I was lazy

      Early Fragment1: I was left with the impression that this was lucid, but very little memory of it. It had to do with seeing some objects from Xanous's OBE? The only more or less clear visual memory is of small cotton-like object/s. >>> goes to category suspicious

      Fragment2: In my parents' place, some disturbing noise

      Dream3: I thought it was interesting and easy to remember. We all know how this ends.

      WBTB: missed the usual natural wake, woke up a bit later, and I drank the whole latte although I knew it was not such a good idea. Struggled for quite some time, but did not look at the clock as not to add up more anxiety.

      Dream4: In my parents' place, aunt is also there and starts eating, this distracts me. I casually lie on the couch, three blankets and a bottle of plum sauce.

      Dreamlet5: some rasta guy

      I drift in and out of sleep. In bed, I want to sleep. I continue with my efforts to fall asleep.

      Dream6 WILD: I'm in those strange states where I am semi-consciously controlling what I'm doing, trying to have the dream form around me and hold on to it. The first thing I notice are my hands, clasping a bottle. Slightly confused as I think for a second I am still in bed, I keep my eyes closed. Still not fully in the dream, I know that the key to my integration today has to do with me holding the bottle of I think then alcohol or plum sauce, so I apply as much pressure as I can. Then the surroundings become clearer and I know I am successfully there.

      I am sitting on a bench in my neighborhood, no DCs in sight. I begin touching the surface of the white bench to stabilize. I look up and see a few ghost-like transparent but black birds in the sky. I check out my surroundings but I have an issue moving my head, and then identify that the problem is coming from my right eye, which gets some sort of tunnel vision. I don't want to move my head too much to avoid waking up, so I ignore this and decide to walk on the street.

      I make a few steps and then my right side is paralyzed, so I lose balance and fall. Oh, no, not this thing again! The feeling is very hard to describe, but it's like I am feeling the physical body's atonia with my dream body, which makes me lose control over parts of the dream body. I try to ignore the issue, drag myself forward a bit and think that maybe concentrating on some tasks will fix it. I remember four tasks. I don't think I am able to get to Xanous at the moment. There are no DCs around to interact with. I think about transformation but nothing seems to happen. What did the guys say to do in such a case? Try floating up. Doesn't work. I have no dream control at all.

      It is also cold, and I notice my blanket is nearby so I want to reach for it. The last thing I remember is looking above a building and seeing a large dark military helicopter above it. It is also ghost-like transparent. I am not very interested in it, I look down, struggle for a little while and then give up. I wake up. I am too caffeinated to fall asleep although I try.

      Note: This was not scary in any way, but it was really annoying.

      Comments:

      1. Yes, drinking the whole latte was a mistake!
      2. Starting an ld from scratch can be a pain in the b. I need more practice.

      ---------------

      - Do 100 RCs (8/100)
      - notice real life DS 100 times and RC (9/100)
      - 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (4/10)
      - 10 morning RCs (1/10)
      - 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
      - task flexibility
      - journal flexibility

      LDs: 6 (official count) as of 11th June
      micro-lds: 1 (not counted)
      suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

      Updated 06-12-2013 at 02:43 PM by 61764

      Categories
      side notes , lucid , non-lucid , dream fragment
    9. Spice Girls Concert...

      by , 10-16-2012 at 10:21 AM
      This is an interesting dream i had, because it included my sister, dad and one of his old musician friend going to a concert

      The area was in a light room, with either chairs or a long light bench for others to sit on. I recall dad either having long hair or possibly wearing a wig that may have been a mixture of light brown and dark brown. His hair maybe had some kind of hat or head dress. Looking back i am thinking, "why does his face look exactly like mine?" That was an interesting feeling. Curious.

      In the spacious light room that my sister, my dad, his friend and I were in, a concert featuring the Spice Girls was about to start somewhere in that period.

      I made my way to sit next to dad and his musician friend. He talked to me about how sitting behind him and his friend would get me a better view of the Spice Girls singing.

      I did not see my sister a lot, i think she was either hanging in the front waiting for the concert or went elsewhere. I also could not recognize dad's musician's friend's face, as i only noticed her hair. At least it seemed like it reminded me of dad's old friend.

      Before i woke up, i did not see the Spice Girls sing, i am not sure what that was about.
    10. Legend of Korra, and Leaving for College

      by , 08-28-2012 at 04:02 PM
      DREAM #1

      Iím on vacation somewhere with my family. Weíre staying in this big, old house. I explore around the house, and I keep finding weird secret passages that lead outside.

      Later on, I check my computer and I find out that the second season of ďThe Legend of KorraĒ is going to start the next day.

      Then I guess itís the next day, because I go to find a TV. When I find one, there are a bunch of other kids there. I guess theyíre like my Korra-watching club from my college, but I donít really take a close look at their faces. I guess the TV doesnít work or something, because we donít actually end up watching anything.

      I wander off to go see this performance that apparently is somehow related to ďThe Legend of KorraĒ Ö The performance is outside, and people just sit on random benches around the performers and watch. I canít find a bench to sit on, so I just randomly walk around.

      Anyway, the play turns out to be like, the Ember Island Players basically. So, itís really bad. Thereís one girl in the play who just wanders off to the side and starts laughing because she realizes the play is really bad. And then her father, who is also in the play, starts yelling at her for ruining everything. But, then the play just continues.

      Thereís a large group of people sitting on one bench, but then they all get up and leave. So Iím like, ďOh goody! A free bench!Ē So I rush over to it. But then I feel guilty about stealing the bench in case those people come back, so I just sit on the arm of the bench or something so Iím not really taking it. Some other girl comes over and sits down on the bench. And she and some other girl argue about who gets to sit on the bench Ö But, Iím not really paying attention.

      I also just stop paying attention to the play and start reading some book that I have with me. The book has a lot of illustrations Ö or maybe itís a graphic novel or manga or something. I donít recall what was in it, really.

      Eventually I leave and go back to my room in the house, and check my computer again and go on Tumblr. I see that people are posting all these clips from the new ďKorraĒ episode. And Iím like, ďAAH SPOILERS.Ē There appear to be like Ö pirates in it, or something. I decide Iím going to look up the episode later.

      My sisters tell me that weíre all going bowling at some apparently awesome bowling alley. But, the dream ends before we actually go there. Too bad.

      DREAM #2

      Ö Or this could be a part of the same dream? Iím not entirely sure.

      Iím at home. And, my parents decide Iím going to go back to college right away, even though I havenít packed or anything yet. So, I try to start packing but I canít find everything I need. So Iím just like, shoving random things in the car.

      I find some books that Iím going to pack Ö and then some weird thing happens, like I have a memory within the dream of buying those books. It was at some small bookstore, and I remember picking out books, and then shoving ones I didnít want under a table or something, and feeling guilty about it Ö I donít really know.

      Anyway, so thereís this closet where Iíve been storing a lot of my dorm room stuff over the summer (in real life), so in the dream I go looking for it. But I find that someone has moved a big dresser in front of it or something, so I canít get it open.

      I start kind of panicking and realizing I donít have time to pack everything. I go outside where my parents are waiting for me. Except, my mom looks like one of my great aunts and not like my mom, which is weird. But anyway, I start explaining to them that I donít have time to pack everything, and that if I went now Iíd just be alone on campus for like a week anyway.

      At first, they donít seem to care. But then they finally say I donít have to go back yet. But they still want to drive to campus just to look at the pretty autumn scenery or whatever.
    11. The park and the little girl 04/16/12/

      by , 04-18-2012 at 05:57 AM (My Dream Records)
      Black means non lucid
      Orange means semi lucid
      Blue means lucid
      Red means dream character talking
      Purple means possible shared dream person
      Green means notes

      Got it? Great! Now enjoy the dreams.

      Dream #1 Feeding the birds.

      Im sitting down on a park bench, with a brown paper bag in my hand full of breadcrumbs.. there is this little girl sitting next to me, dangling her little legs with a brown paper bag full of bread. She has milky white skin, chestnut brown hair, big brown eyes, and looked to be about 5 or 6. I forgot what she was wearing, but there are people jogging, and a woman walking a dog that looked a bit similar to sinoblak's dog. Hmm i glance at the dog but did'nt think much of it.
      (What a missed dream cue)

      I ask her if she wants to feed the pigeons

      "Yes i would like that"! I give her the bag, she starts tossing out the breadcrumbs to the pigeons laughing.

      Hahahaha, Wow they must be really hungry!

      Hehehe, Yea. after we finish feeding the birds, she asks me

      "Is it ok if i go play on the swingset for a while"?

      Sure, i don't see why not.

      "Yay"!

      I grab her hand, and we walk to the swingset. I push her as she yells..

      "Higher higher"!

      Ok ok i will push a little higher. Sun is shining, and the air feels good. After about 5 minutes, i say...Ok i have to go little girl, did you want me to walk you home?

      "Yes".

      Where do you live? She points to a nearby home. We walk thru the grassy area, im holding her hand as she is skipping. We stop near a house. Is this where you live?

      "Mmhm".

      She nods and then gives me a hug. What was that for?

      "Thank you for showing up".

      Hmm..im puzzled. Oh no problem. You take care of yourself ok?

      "Mmhm i will".

      Wait, your shoelace is untied. Come here, let me teach you how to tie your shoes.
      Im explaining to her and showing her how to tie her shoes. There you go, now you try.
      She starts with one shoe, you did it! High 5 she slaps my palm and i pretend it hurted.
      Ow..why you do it so hard hm? she laughs.

      "Hahaha" your funny dreamprofessor.

      Huh? How did she know my nickname? She starts walking up to her home. I wait in the entrance way as she waves.

      "Bye".

      I wave bye to her, and feel the dream closing in on me..then i wake up.

      Notes: sinoblak had a similar experience IRL. She mentioned to me that she had this happened to her the day i had this dream. Hmm interesting. What is this connection between my dreams and her waking life? Is there perhaps, some sort of strong vibrational energy, or spiritual connection i have with sinoblak? Guess there is only one way to find out. I shall keep dreaming and see what happens!




    12. painting bench and brother's death

      by , 08-14-2011 at 04:10 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a dark bedroom. The door was open a crack, and there was also a slim window running along the right (my right) side of the door. The door and window opened out to a hallway full of fluorescent light. It was like I was in a dorm room. There was a bed against the wall to the right of the door.

      There seemed to be somebody walking out in the hallway. He didn't seem to trust me, or else he didn't seem to like the fact that I was around. I myself didn't quite feel like I belonged here. I may have been hoping I could get out of here soon.

      I was pacing back and forth in the bedroom. I paced toward the door and turned around. I was about to start walking away from the door when the man somehow got a hold of me. He either told me or handed me a note saying that I needed to paint a bench.

      I knew what bench the man had been talking about. I realized I had forgotten to paint it. This was somehow a relief to me. I felt like now I had a task I had to take care of, I really had a reason to stay here. Before, I realized, I had been almost arrogantly insisting that I didn't have to be here, as if I was better than this place. But now that I had a task, I could focus on the task and keep a humble outlook on where I deserved to be.

      I was in a living room with a few other people, some of whom may have been my family members. The living room also felt a little like an artist's studio or workshop. The floor were concrete and paint-spattered. The walls were bare white plaster. The light was a very harsh, raspy incandescent. There seemed to be a TV blaring somewhere. And everybody either seemed to be busy or distracted.

      I knelt down to a wooden bench about knee-high and maybe three meters long. The bench had been painted white. But either the paint had started chipping off or else the paint job I had given the bench had been so bad that I'd missed patches of the bench altogether. So I needed to fill in the unpainted patches with white paint.

      I was painting the bench and thinking about painting. At first I may have been doing a good job of painting the bench. But at some point I may have wondered if it really was a good plan to put new paint among all the stretches of old paint. I didn't think the old paint and new paint would look very good together.

      Then I realized that the paint I was laying on the bench wasn't actually "sticking." It would disappear only a while after I painted the patch. It seemed like either the paint evaporated away or like the paint just sank into the wood. I then realized that I had forgotten to lay a coat of primer before I lay the coat of white paint on the bench. But I didn't have any primer here.

      I stood up. I had to head out and grab some primer. For some reason, Lewis Carroll was in the living room. He may have been the last person I said goodbye to before I went to grab the primer. He may have said something encouraging about my painting job so far.

      I was now walking around in the parking lot of some huge shopping center or mall. It was either late night or early morning. Some of the stores were open, including a huge grocery store that didn't have any doors on its front, just a huge opening.

      I walked past a few huge stores. I seemed to be confused about what I needed to get. I either couldn't quite remember what I'd needed to get, or else I couldn't figure out where I needed to get it.

      I now remembered where I needed to go. But the store was closed, and it wouldn't open for a couple of hours. But I needed the stuff now. I needed to get back home and paint the bench for something like a birthday party. But I wasn't going to be on time. I somehow knew this.

      I suddenly remembered that I needed primer. It suddenly dawned on me that I could have gotten primer at any time during the past few days. But I'd waited and waited and never gotten it. Now it was too late. I was desperately disappointed with myself. I had done stuff like this before in my life. Would I ever learn how to just do things on time, instead of always waiting until it was too late?

      I was about to start crying, I was so disappointed with myself. But, right then, I got a call on my cell phone. It was my mom. She very quickly told me she'd speak with me in a moment. I then heard her getting on the phone with someone else. I dropped the phone from my ear and thought, Oh, god. Here's another one of these calls where my mom gets all dramatic and then tells me something that isn't bad or dramatic at all.

      I put the phone back to my ear. I was walking past a store, another store with no doors, just a huge opening. So I walked inside, thinking I might be able to find something, maybe primer. The store actually looked like some kind of home improvement store.

      My mom appeared to be talking to some kind of hospital, even though I couldn't hear the person my mom was talking to. My mom said something about trying to get information about my brother. He had been taken to the hospital for some emergency.

      I thought that this sounded serious after all. My mom had some information on my brother. She gave it to the operator, to find out where my brother was. The info was like a room number or something. The operator put my mom on hold.

      My mom came back to talking to me. She said, "Your brother has thrown himself to the ground." I understood this to mean that my brother had attempted or committed suicide by throwing himself off a multi-story building.

      I said, "No," in a flat, but panicked voice. I was about to lose control of myself and start pleading, "No, no, no!" into the phone. But I didn't I was too afraid that the hospital operator would hear me (even though I couldn't hear her), think I was being disruptive, and hang up before giving my mom any information on my brother.

      I walked over to an ATM to get some money to buy whatever it was I was here to buy. As I walked over to the ATM, I pulled the phone away from my ear. I had some web page regarding the hospital on my screen. The text was black, with some passages of text in tan-orange lettering. The screen was kind of like visiting or facilities information. I kind of got the impression that this place wasn't a hospital in the conventional sense.

      As I got to the ATM, before I could even slide my card through, my mom was back on with the operator. She said something like, "He did? When? Well, it would have been really nice if someone had told me this earlier." It was obvious my mom was terribly sad and angry. She wanted to burst into tears. But she kept her temper with the operator, sounding pretty well composed, though slightly irritated.

      I understood, before my mom even got back on the phone with me, that my brother had died. The hospital really only called to tell my mom this because they couldn't hold onto the body. They needed someone to take it away. Otherwise, they might never have called my mom.

      My mom told the operator she'd be right back. She put the operator on hold. She got back on with me and said, "Your brother died at 4:15 AM this morning."
    13. 3rd August 2011

      by , 08-12-2011 at 12:12 AM
      Dream Fragment 1

      I am walking with my baby Pigeon, I look at him and think I see something, I take a second look and see tiny yellow maggots in his feathers ((lol))

      Dream 2

      Me, my hubby & the girls all went out. We are at a party together. For some reason I have to leave for a while. It's raining outside, I'm getting soaked, my hair has all fallen out of place and my make-up has run. I can see like a big Mansion, it's a white building. As I look at the building I see a bench to the left, thie bench is facing the Mansion and behind the bench is a green bush. I am sitting on the bench. I see a lady come to the front door of the Mansion, I walk over to the lady and ask "would it be ok if I stay here?" ((I didn't want to go back to the party looking in such a state lol)) she says "yes of course" ((Dream Skip)) I am now in the bedroom upstairs, it's only a small room, it's not posh atall. There is no bed just a Matress on the floor, it looks a little untidy really. I am sitting on the bed and feel like "something" is with me, I look about but there is nothing there. I am looking at a picture opposite me on the side, it's a black and white picture of a lady. As I look at it the white frame of the picture moves to the right and the woman in the picture starts talking etc., it is a bit like watching her on T.V. I'm thinking "That's weird...that should't happen!" ((unfortunatley I didn't get lucid)). I suddenly think "Ohh god, what about the kids" then I calm down and think "Ahh they'll be ok cause my hubby is with them" I begin to worry again slightly. ((Dream Skip)) I go out and I'm walking around the street. I walk down the street and see lots of other streets leading off the road so I decide to go and explore. I have arrived at a house, I know i'm now lost. I go round to the back of the house and walk inside, there are 2 men and a woman inside. One man was English, the woman was Asian and the other man was French or German or something. In my hand I am holding the syringe that I use to feed my baby Pigeon, it's full of mushed up food and i'm eating it . I see the English man is very hungry so I squeeze some food out of the syringe onto my hand and give it to him, I then see he is still hungry so I empty the syring into his mouth he says "thank you" I ask him "where am I?" I put my rucksack down on the side for a minute, the man tells me where I am, I say "I haven't walked that far have I" ((I'm amazed at how far I walked because it didn't seem like I had walked that far atall)) he says "yes". The man now opens the front door and points down the street and directs me to where I need to go. I look down the street and say "to that car there?" he says "No, go past the 2 streets further on from there and you'll get there". I go to pick my rucksack up but it has now turned into a baby in a baby carrier, I think nothing of this and pick it up and carry it on my back. I get very close to where I have to go when I bump into 2 of my old school friends, they are both male. One of them tells me that he has always loved me and says "even if you do look shit and you'r nails aren't done" ((Dream Skip)) I am back at the Mansion, I am standing on the long wide balcony and there are lots of people there, I see my father-in-law and his brother sitting on a bench, I walk over to them and say "It's Don" we talk a little and Don tells me that he wants me to pass a message on to the rest of the family, he tells me to tell them that they are ok and they are all together ((they are all dead in real life)) Another brother of his was there too. ((dream skip)) I am back on the street and i'm walking to the pub where the party is, I meet up with my girls and walk through with them. We enter a room and there is a big tree trunk spread across the room, it is blocking part of the room off, in that part of the room there are 3 men and a pool table that they are playing on, the men say "this is just for Adults" I think "there must be something funny going on in that area" I go into the other room with the girls, I still look really shitty and messy. I sit down on a chair next to a table and take my bobble out of my hair. A woman walks past and in a sarcastic manner she says "is that the new fashion" and sniggers as she goes by.