Recent DJ Posts

Subnautica dream
I am in some Subnautica-like world. Most things are blurry in retrospect, but I know it was interesting, and evoked emotions I can't describe. All I can say is that it wasn't bad. At some point there was something with ghost leviathans and other massive creatures, which was pretty scary.

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So, I'm finally back. This dream actually got me back, since until that I didn't really remember how fun dreams can be. Would've been a dream I would've liked to be lucid in.

comment non-lucid lucid something else

11 am - accepting a package from a courier, using the bathroom
after 11 - MILD mantra, MILD visualization, continuing with VILD but my brain doesn't cooperate and I can't get it going. 2 fast cycles of SSILD but I can't focus anymore.
My brain continues to VILD on its own and doesn't want to go to sleep - there some part-visualization/part-dreams.

Formula1 racer
I am talking to someone who is a Formula1 racer.
I can't tell if this was a visualization/daydream or a dream. I think I was still active in it but the subconscious was doing a large part.

Very friendly girl
Suddenly a scene appeared. I was sitting behind a table and a girl with brown hair came and sat against me. I was holding a book and she asked if I didn't mind that the authors aren't lucid enough. I answered that I could understand for some of them but not the creative ones (or something like that, it didn't make much sense/was based on false knowledge). Then she got closer to me and started kissing me. I was screaming "this is a dream, this is a dream" in my head but nothing happened and it ended as suddenly as it started.
It felt more like a dreamlet than a dream. That dream feeling just wasn't there. But it was too sophisticated and too long to be a dreamlet. I don't know. Certainly not a fully formed normal dream.

I can't fall asleep.
Checking the time, it's 12 am.
Desperate, I ask my subconscious to just let me sleep.
I think there was some NREM sleep after this. Nothing conscious.

We miss you, Grandma
There is a scene forming around me. I see it forming and my first thought is "I am not visualizing this" and the second "this has to be a dream".
I sit on a bed in a room with the bed, a table and kitchen cabinets. It is supposed to be my first adulthood flat but it looks more like my childhood home. Everything is extremely blurry and quite dark but I can feel it is stable. I touch the bed and feel the texture and the vision gets slightly better, there are two very blurry circular spots in my vision.
There is my dead great-grandmother next to me so I think at least use this low-quality dream to hug her. I hug her and tell her "I love you very much and we miss you, grandma". She strokes my hair and says "My IndigoRose". I ask her if she liked how my grandmother (her daughter) refurbished the flat. She said she liked it but was worried about her. And we talk about my grandmother getting old.
Then I go to the kitchen sink (which is also a toilet?) and help with washing some vegetables there.
It gets blurry again and I touch a chair and feel the grain of the wood. It helps but my vision is weird - with vertical strips of blurriness and with gaps. Slowly, it gets better but I am confused, forgetting where I am. I say "this is still a dream", actually realizing that and clearing my confusion. There is my brother on the bed and because he has heard me, I repeat "this is a dream" but he stares at me blankly and says nothing. I show him a finger in the palm RC but it doesn't work, my finger doesn't go through. I laugh but I still know it is a dream. I do nose plug RC and I can breathe easily. I tell him: "You see, I can breathe" but he is not impressed.
There is a woman sitting on a chair next to the door, she is supposed to be a family member but I don't know which one. She has a big black spot on her face and I wonder if dreams do that.
I don't know what to do, I am thinking about jumping from the window and flying and I expect to fall and wake up and decide that this dream isn't good for trying it. I am also thinking "what if this is real?".
Then I hear my nose wheezing IRL and I expect to lose the dream but it is still stable. I try to clear my nose which I can do and the dream is still holding. But my real nose is still wheezing. I am annoyed by this dream and decide to wake up.
Which I wanted to do anyway in one of my dreams to prove my lucidity to myself. So at least this is one goal done.

[16.09.2020]

Doing something that scares me
I do something that scares me, maybe with a tube shaped object. But then I do it again for some reason, maybe it achieves something, maybe even adrenaline.



[17.09.2020]

Some dream I forgot
There's simply something blurry, maybe with tones of yellow?

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School actively prevents me from documenting my dreams when I wake up since I can only do that on a laptop. Annoying.

Sunday, 9-13-20, Core 2

After a couple of long, regular dream fragments I found myself in the upstairs bathroom, sitting on the toilet. It was night and I was spacing out a bit, staring at the fan grate in the wall (which was on the wrong wall though I didn't notice at the time.) For a few brief moments, the grate I was looking at blurred and faded, and in fact everything in my visual field seemed to "glitch" and become less solid. I stared hard at the grate to try and unblur my vision, and it seemingly popped back into existence, becoming even more sharply defined than before. This whole experience was very similar to common waking life experiences where one might defocus one's vision when tired or consciously refocus on an object in order to sharpen one's vision on it. However, I found the extreme degree to which this happened here unnerving as it seemed as though the reality around me was liable to disappear altogether without constant attention to it. This is very likely a dream. I thought. My mind threw up the requisite resistance in the background due to the realistic, mundane nature of my experience up to this point. No, this could be a dream. I insisted mentally. I thought backwards, remembering the previous two dream fragments as if they were part of my day, then thought back further to remember myself getting into bed for core 2. There had been something a little strange about everything after that point, when I thought about it. I haven't woken up since then, I realized, I am dreaming!

I decided to test gravity by seeing if I could think myself into floating, as I habitually do upon first becoming lucid. However, this time I felt heavily weighted down, as if my body were made of lead. Everything was vague and I knew I needed to stabilize the dream. I went to raise my hand in front of my face so I could stare at it to bring more clarity, but I couldn't raise it a single inch. I was genuinely surprised. Why do I feel so heavy? I asked myself, If it's just my expectation I should be able to change it with a thought... I tried this and failed. I then noticed that I could seemingly sense my waking life body where it lay. I could even feel where one of my feet was hanging off the end of the bed. The sensations mapped to the position I remembered falling asleep in. REM atonia? I wondered. Am I closer to a waking state than in previous lucids, but still deeply enough asleep for the atonia to be present? Is my brain translating my bodily sensations into this dream experience of extreme heaviness?

I looked around again and realized the dream had faded more. Brute forcing things wasn't working. While I didn't feel close to waking up in terms of sensation (the level to which I could sense my body wasn't changing), I was reluctant to sit in a blurry dream scene for an extended period of time. If this is due to atonia, maybe I can work with that. I'll let images come and go they might in a WILD, observe them and wait for them to stabilize to a more solid dream. After a few moments, the fully blurred out scene randomly gave way to a vision of water, waves, the surface of an ocean. Before the scene could fully form, however, my consciousness lapsed. I know I dreamt some more before waking, though I don't remember the content.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

Although this lucid was brief in terms of dream time and actual action, I'm very happy with the ease of logical thought in this dream, whether or not that reasoning process was completely accurate. There was definitely a greater awareness of myself in relation to waking life and a higher degree of observation within that context than is usual for me. I've certainly had other lucids where I recalled what I wanted to do with the dream from waking life, but I don't remember ever tracing back through my dream memories all the way to a waking memory of going to sleep before! The recall process isn't usually that effortless, either. It's just too bad my dream control wasn't equally effortless this time.

It's Wednesday, we have Biology
I am at the entrance to the classroom. Everything is blurry, but I don't pay attention to that. I hear our teacher talking. The only thing I thought was that it was Wednesday and we had Biology. Then I woke up, having to go to school at Thursday.

First night

Recalled only a blurred out fragment.

Second night

Nothing recalled.

I have fallen back asleep and find myself inside a brown classic room. I thought it be cool to see super man and he appeared. I observe the poorly design super man but thought it was still cool that the dream spawn him right away. I told myself I knew this wasn't a high level lucid dream as it kept getting blurrly and my awareness was feeling faint. I wanted to next spawn wonder woman but decided I'd rather just wake up as I knew I needed to wake up early today to get food.

Undated:
Winter. Saw someone breaking into cars parked outside. I quickly hid behind the curtains but I was not fast enough. He saw, started walking around the apartment building, looking inside windows. We started turning off lights, triple-checking door locks, closing curtains.

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Later that night:
Some kind of pretty vial, said to contain LSD. We come from another dimension and brought it with us.

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August 4th, 2014: (word for word from paper)
Several dreams, do not remember them all. One of them was lucid, involved, being given shots for being 'crazy' because I had trouble talking, not sure if this was toward the beginning or the end. Floated around to maintain lucidity when started to lose it, gripped a metal object. Felt it, it was so real, cold, etc. Woke up at 3:40AM. Laying in bed until after bf left for work. Fell asleep again around 7ish, in and out. Saw a taxi from the sky, it drove into a river. Then I woke up inside a taxi driving on the road (snow covering everything in both scenes). I asked "Where am I?" and a voice out of nowhere said "[Friend's Name Here]'s House." and I opened my eyes to my bed. Vibrations/being pulled into wild. (I guess I got lazy at this point because that was the end of the page and no more notes)

DREAM 1

I'm standing next to a bed in an expensive looking apartment. I'm talking to Dana White and Lorenzo Fertitta (both UFC affiliated). We're looking at UFC playing cards. They look pretty cool and a bit bigger than your average playing card. Lorenzo shows me a deck which has a fuck up in it. It's showing Vitor Belfort and Ben Rothwell at the weigh ins, giving their stare down before the fights the next day (Strange considering Ben is Heavyweight and Vitor is Middleweight/Light Heavyweight).

Dana's kids run in the room and soon realize I was giving the deck because they kid had 2 of the same and didn't need it. I look on the floor and notice a deck of cards still in its pack.

We're standing in a kitchen and I tell Dana and Lorenzo I'm surprised no ones brought this up in the MMA forums, which is "do you only watch normal wrestling or do you watch all forms including the hardcore matches where they use chairs etc". Lorenzo says he does watch both.

DREAM 2 - 9:50AM

I'm watching people cook on a cooking show. It's the master chef format. One of the contestants which had already been knocked out or was from a previous season is demonstrating a dish. She puts a pad at the bottom of a potato for some reason. She gives another demonstration which involves potatoes again. This time she is using the plastic which holds a six pack of cans together. She calls it a strange name. I see potato that is hanging from the plastic as she pulls it up. She seems a little shaky as if she is a bit nervous and tends to be a little clumsy.

DREAM FRAGMENTS::

I'm watching a porn scene. A man has a couple pumps and finishes. I think it's odd and rewind it. I realize it was towards end anyways, so I watch it from the start. The man looks young and not the type of guy that does porn. He has a abnormally sized penis, which looks very blurry. He places it inside the women slowly.

SIDE NOTES:

Couldn't get to sleep until late and had a horrible sleep. Affirmations were not working this morning, was too tired.

I was lying in bed and I did the hold your nose RC. It worked so I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't for some reason. I blinked and closed my eyes and tried to open them but it didn't work. My eye was barely open and blurry. I did some stabilization things and they finally opened. I walked to the door and decided to try and fly to a new scene. I went out and tried to make some flying shoes appear behind me on the steps outside by turning my back but instead I made a revolver pistol appear. I picked it up. I went over to the Werdine's and went into there house because the doors weren't there. There was a stranger in there so I shot at him but kept missing so I ran out the garage and now he had a gun and was shooting at me. He was missing but I shot him in the balls but the bullet was a hard plastic torpedo thing instead. I then tried to fly away but my eyes did that thing again. I continued jumping higher and higher anyway until one time I jumped as hard as I could but straight out and low to the ground. I then willed myself to go higher and faster. I did it, I was flying! Then the dream faded.

I woke up in my bed and tried a RC it worked so I got up and went to the kitchen. I leaned against the counter and my dad leaned against the one opposite me I looked around and analyzed the entire living room. The dream was pretty hazy but when I really focused it would be more clear. Then I went out the tool room door into the empty parking places and heard my dad who was now outside say something about scout being anorexic. I felt the dream fading and spun around. Then I looked at my hands and they were deformed. Then it was like my vision paused and I kept seeing my hands until the dream faded.

I don't remover much.

I know this dream was about dreaming, it involved discussions with dream characters who appeared official in some way. The subject of these discussions may have been (not sure) the importance of dreaming (no surprise since I yesterday participated in DV thread on our theories about dreams).

I remember that this dream was lengthy. I also remember having a strong sense that this was a repeated dream, that I have had this one before. I think this sense may have been present during the dream, but I was not aware it was a dream I think more of a sense of "this has happened before" (déjà vu). I think this dream was kind of vague blurry non-vivid even when it was happening.

So I was sitting on white bed in a room with red walls (i think) so then all of a sudden this bird flies from out of under the bed so I jumped onto the bed trying to get away but then the bird bit my neck. I didn't feel it so it was OK.

Something about Movie Gallery, there's a mirror world you can get to using a cannon-portal? There's a very starry dreamscape. It's very pretty.

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I'm a detective assigned to a missing person case. The person who was missing was a girl named Ahri. (I'm not sure if it was just a girl that looked a lot like Ahri from LoL or if I subconsciously translated what she would look like irl. Either way, it wasn't the same character.)

I head off and do some investigating. I learn that she had been seen by someone some time ago, doing something that I can't remember.

I'm getting off of a sort of pseudo-subway train, heading to a club. I get in somehow (probably just telling who I was,) and I get a lot of nasty looks from the club's members, as if I was there to arrest every single one of them. Everyone in the club is dressed up very nice. I go into a room in the back. I explain to everyone that I am a detective, and asked nicely if they would all line up against the wall so I could ask questions. I go around just looking at everyone, passing by Ahri without much thought. One guy starts trash-talking me, saying that he would beat the shit out of me and such. I just ignore him and continue. After I get about 3/4 of the way through, I go back to Ahri and look at her closely.

"What's your name?" I ask her, squinting my eyes to get a better look at her. Everything is so blurry.

"Ahri," she responds cooperatively.

"No she's not!" the man beside her blurts out, looking worried. The man was involved in the case somehow. His name had Nine in it, but I don't remember his full name so I'll just call him Nine. I nod and put my hand on her back, leading her out of the room.

"If you would come with me..." I say politely, and she cooperates. Once we get outside, I decide that I can probably get Nine to come with us too.

"You can get your 'Anon' friend to come with us, too, if you'd like," I mention. Ahri opens the door and motions for someone to follow. The guy who threatened me walks out, and I shoot Ahri a glare.

"Very funny," I say to Ahri, then turn to the man. "I'm sorry for wasting your time, sir." Ahri and I get on the subway-train-thing.

I ask her if she knows who Nine is, and she says that he's her friend. I ask if she knows how he got his name and she says no. I explain that the government was experimenting using certain drugs, and that the one that they used on him killed him. Nine months later, he 'woke up' as if he had only gone to sleep. I tell her that any time he is knocked out or goes to sleep, he actually dies for a little while.

A good bit of stuff happens. I don't really remember what, but I think that I started assisting Ahri. I do know that I took her to the detective's office place, but after that the mystery plot just kinda flopped. I took Ahri to my house, and we were running from something.

Timeskip, Ahri and I are married. My memory is fuzzy about this part.

Timeskip again, Ahri and I have kids. I'm teaching one of my kids how to use one of his powers that he apparently got from me.

Wednesday April 24, 12. 11:15pm 6am

Jess had her baby and I wanted to give her a blanket, and I figured since I was in town I might has well get my pillow and blanket lining fixed. I told jess I was going to get my blanket fixed and then I’d be over. She was fine with it, so I brought my blanket and pillow to the sewing shop. They looked at it and grabbed the pillow, I watched the sewing machine do all the work. When it was done I liked what I saw. Then they started on the blanket, it took a lot longer. I was very happy with the finished result. I was off to give jess the blanket.-End Dream-

Second Dream-

I had all my homework done and I was off to college. I got to my English class and the classroom was rearranged. Some of the table and chairs were on the ceiling and some were turned away from the front of the class. I thought it was a little weird and wondered why they set the room up like this; it will make it harder to learn. The teacher was talking, but I couldn’t understand her and I was spacing off here and there. She asked me something, but I didn’t hear her. She asked me again and I told her I couldn’t understand her, she got mad at me so I handed her one of my essays. That made her happy. Then she asked me another question and I still had no idea what she said so I just handed her another essay, then she became extremely happy. Everything stared to become blurry my eyes started to hurt, I couldn’t see. Everything started to darken and just before I blacked out, I fell to the floor. –End Dream-

Thoughts-

my dreams are becoming more colorful and vibrant, i am remembering more and i'm starting to notice weird things. BOOYAH!