• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    View RSS Feed

    Recent DJ Posts

    1. lxv.

      by , 11-04-2018 at 12:16 PM
      Non-dream stuff - Woke up at 8:20 or so with my alarm, waking up from a non-lucid, sweating. Slept some more and woke up again around 2 hours later with one or two non-lucids.



      Dream 1:
      I was living in a house with my partner (H); I remember it had a ground floor and a first floor. It was day time, and sunny. One of our neighbours was a couple, a man and a woman, who had two kids, two boys I think.

      One of those boys started to "accuse" me of looking at him, when I hadn't been; this went on for a while in the dream and the parents themselves didn't seem that interested... Later on, this boy, the younger of the two I think, started messing around and eventually he tried to get into our house for some reason or something. I decided we should catch him and make him calm down and explain his problems.

      I waited for him to be on top of our wall or fence or something and then when he couldn't see me I'd grabbed him by the legs and took him in and told him to calm down, as he was obviously upset now. I asked him why he was being left here when his parents were gone and he wasn't sure; and he said that sometimes when his parents were at home he wasn't allowed in and he could hear "pumping" noises? I understood the implied meaning of this in the dream to be his parents having sex.

      I remember as soon as he calmed down and started to explain his problems I was a lot less tense too, as I hadn't wanted him to get away without an explanation for his previous behaviour at the very least.

      Seems I can't remember any more detail for this dream.

      Dream 2:
      In a square-ish L shape room. The negative shape of the L (so, a smaller square area) was a vertical section of some sort. This looked it was all part of some sort of facility. There was a glass sliding door that would lead into a corridor. Next to the door were many armed guards, standing in a formation, they looked like stormtroopers but some with no helmets on.

      By the glass around the inner part of the L, facing into the vertical section, was a woman. I can't remember what she looked like exactly but I remember something about her breasts being inflated, but then not. She was the DNA source for those clone troopers or something? But I was too or something.

      I remember suggesting an idea to her that perhaps we could change her DNA a bit further, as it was ironic that the troopers were infertile and they couldn't procreate with her. Then I remember saying or thinking something about the fact that she could give birth to our genetically modified humans as a surrogate, rather than them being grown in wherever they were grown.

      There was a lot more detail to this dream, but I've forgotten it.

      Dream 3:
      The last dream, like the rest was quite long but I only remember the last portion... I remember being in a shop, then outside at a pier... I was in Australia or something? I needed to take a boat to Europe or the Middle-East. I remember seeing a world map, but oddly Africa seemed to be missing.

      The boat and some other things looked a bit cartoony somehow. The captain was the owner and they were struggling financially or something so I bought the boat really cheap off him and then I had to get some things ready and then someone else was captain of the boat and I bought it off them again as for some reason it was sinking and buying it stopped it...

      Eventually I got on and there was some sort of transition. I remember seeing the map again.

      The next place, in someone's house. It was like a holiday house that was let to people. I looked around for others but couldn't find anyone. It was day and I could see sunlight come through windows, but the windows themselves looked too bright (nothing but white past them).

      I found some food and drinks, all prepared, for guests like myself, but I didn't take any. I looked around more for someone else and eventually entered this darker, tiny, kitchen. There was a door to the outside and it didn't look so sunny but it was still day. The door was open and there was a woman standing there with a slightly grumpy look on her face. In the kitchen was a man, about my age. He started talking to me and commenting about the house or something, and then all of a sudden he said "oh you've got a bit of a zapper there" or something like that, referring to the fact that he could see my junk poking in my pants, which incidentally were my sweatpants.

      I apologised and said that this just sometimes happened and I couldn't control it (and in fact I expected him to understand since he was a man), but I got the feeling he brought it up more to antagonise his wife or girlfriend standing outside. I took a pair of my compression gloves out of my left pocket and said to him "look, maybe these were also contributing", as my gloves felt quite bulgy inside the pocket previously. Oddly, I can't remember what happened to the gloves, and it's the first time they've appeared in a dream since I've had them.

      Then some transition.

      I was outdoors with this guy. In some city in the US. There was nobody else here initially. I had an interface overlay in my vision, reminded me of the game Boundless and the flooring looked like a specific block-type from the game and I was inspecting it. The floor looked like limestone cobbles. Then he went in a direction and I followed him; he was saying something to me when we got to the top of a slope/stairs bit though I don't remember what. I saw a church and then to its left there was a castle. There were more people here. I remember a couple of cars and a bald man with sunglasses on, inspecting someone's papers.

      The castle bit looked newer, and I asked about it and the guy said they had no old pictures or plans of it so it was rebuilt from imagination or whatever. There was an older castle/church part that had a big glass pane, and inside was a British flag like the one found on planes (the circle with 3 colours). I thought of asking the guy about it but then ended up not and just thought it was interesting.

      Rest of details lost.



      Some notes:
      • The dream with the boy reminds me now a bit of a type of novel that I hear sometimes where someone express their troubles by causing troubles, sometimes at someone else's dear expense.
      • In waking life one neighbour on the other side of the street does sometimes leave their two boys outside, when they're going out, which I don't think is good, and I think this first dream was related to this.
      • I was happy that the boy confessed his troubles as in the dream I then felt like I could do something about it. I think I remember getting on the phone with the police actually, I think when I first grabbed the boy, because I was concerned that his parents were neglecting him.
      • In the second dream there was some residual context from STRAFE, mostly with the layout and stuff like that.
      • The woman wasn't anyone I know in particular nor did she look like anyone I've seen really, but I think she had a ponytail.
      • In the third dream, the guy's presence felt a bit odd all the way throughout. It felt like there was a sinister subtext, although he did seem friendly enough...
      • I might do a bonus image for the second dream, for the layout.




      Scoring:
      + Previous score: 65.5

      + This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 8.0
      ++ Recall a non-lucid dream * 3: 3.0
      ++ Help someone in need: 1.0 (the boy; although my tactic was a bit too aggressive, it seemed to get him talking which I think was very important)
      ++ Buy something * 2: 2.0 (the boat, twice...)
      ++ Invent something that's never been heard of before: 2.0 (the DNA altered surrogacy procedure thing)

      = Total score thus far: 73.5
    2. l.

      by , 10-12-2018 at 01:07 PM
      Non-dream stuff - Woke up at around 9:20 recalling one or two non-lucid dreams, sat up to make note of one of them and forgot the other.



      Dream:
      I was in a town I don't recognise and it was night time. I was head to some place and then I ran into a stray dog, which looked like a mix between a dalmatian and a husky or something. But it was very scruffy and some fur was missing. Though I felt sorry for the dog I was initially wary that it may be aggressive or carrying fleas.

      It got very close to me, rubbing against my legs but I kept moving on and it kept following me. I was going into some sort of garden/park and there were small trees but they made enough shade even at night that it felt considerably darker now. There were pairs of wild cats or something and they did look aggressive.

      I was avoiding getting too close but the dog following me started growling and barking at them, I said "shh silly dog, stop that!"

      The cats didn't react very much, but I was afraid they would but the dog stopped provoking them and continued following me.

      Eventually at the other end of the park there was a brick wall, part of a building. In the wall there was a square doorway, literally a hole in the wall.

      Inside was a small dark room and there was a mini shower for the dog and some dog shampoos and things. I turned on the shower or it came on by itself and the dog became a person. At that point I thought the dog shampoo might not be such a good idea anymore since it wasn't meant to be used on people.

      Then there was some transition and it was implied I was on the other side of the building; it wasn't as dark now, it was starting to become day. There was a dirt path and a barn or something and a boy with a backpack.

      I was here like the boy to do some sort of exam, but I remember I had some pills, 4 or 5 of them and oddly enough I put all of them in my mouth at the same time, and struggled a bit but managed to swallow them. They were all different colours, as I remember holding them and looking; white, light blue, magenta and something else.

      Then I walked towards the barn and I remember walking up a couple of steps and entering. I think someone was there but my memory of the dream kind of ends here.



      Some notes:
      • The dog was smaller than I would expect for either of the two breeds it seemed to be.
      • The cats looked a bit like lynxes or bobcats or something, they were fairly big but not much bigger than the dog.
      • The bit with the pills was particularly odd; I never carry pills around, but of course there's some contextual residue that I take supplements before bed sometimes. The fact that I took so many at the same time was odd too because it can be difficult to swallow just one large pill without a drink, let alone a few more at the same time.
      • I remember the dog shampoo bottle looked a bit like a plant feed bottle; it was plastic, red body, green cap.




      Scoring thus far:
      + Previous score: 32.0

      + This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 2.0
      ++ Recall a non-lucid dream: 1.0
      ++ Help someone in need: 1.0 (the dog, I felt like I was helping my letting it follow me, as I didn't know what would happen otherwise and would feel guilty otherwise)

      = Total score thus far: 34.0
    3. viii.

      by , 07-26-2018 at 10:18 AM
      Non-dream stuff: Woke up at 8 but fell asleep again somehow, and the non-lucid dream fragment that follows was after I woke up suddenly at 9:40; I tried to not recall the dream too hard, with positive result:



      Fragment:

      Was going up a small 1-lane ramp at what reminds me now of a school I've been to in waking life. It was day and as I went up the ramp I was fiddling with a box cutter (specifically a black and yellow one I have in waking life) and there was a boy, maybe 10 or 12 in front of me walking the same direction. The light was suddenly changing as I caught up to him and it became night; there were trees and fences to the right and at the immediate left some short buildings; I could see where the road would intersect ahead;

      I said something like "hey, wait up", at first wondering if the sounds of the box cutter scared him, but he didn't seem phased by that. I remember he looked at me and smiled and I asked him "where's your brother? do you know?". The boy said "no, I don't know", and I kept walking along with him and we talked about something; we were getting to an intersection with a town road and suddenly he had a dog on a lead, I'm not sure what kind, but not small and with brown/light brown fur.

      When we got to the intersection, the dog started tugging harder and went to the left and then suddenly it was like they were gone and I walked in the same direction as they'd vanished; I seem to remember that now I had the dog for a few minutes and it was very playful and tugging all the time on the lead (reminds me of my own dog in waking life, though it didn't feel like my dog) and I remember thinking something about the dog playing with a policeman but then the dog was gone again and as I went down the road, over a bend, I saw that some 3 story apartment buildings were damaged;

      I started walking toward them instead and then I remember one of them was quite damaged, like from an explosion, but it almost looked like they were made of very large Lego. I went into a building and the first and second floor were on fire and I kept walking through, up some stairs and then saw like an "interface" notification at the top of my field of view; I mentally clicked it, and the fires nearest me simply got put out; I repeated this a few times before the dream ended. (I was woken up by the already present garbage truck coming closer and getting just slightly louder, and my partner getting up to check on his car)



      Some notes:
      • The area was reminiscent of my native country. This should have been dream-sign especially considering the absence of normal context, like the absence of my partner and my aimless wandering. I was the age I am now.
      • Other than me, the boy, the dog and the "imagined" policeman, there was nobody else in the entire dream sequence.
      • I was walking the whole time. At first this may not seem notable and though I did not feel frightened by anything at any point (such as by the fires, I was indifferent to the situation). And even if I had been afraid, it's not likely I would have run, but instead would have walked faster. This is reminiscent of real-life behaviour where I very rarely run if I'm in a public place, as it makes me feel self-conscious and observed, though the notion was not "consciously" present in my mind at the time in the dream.
      • I have the idea the dog may have been a golden retriever, but I have no clear picture in my mind.
      • I don't know who the boy really was, I think dream-generated, especially as I'm struggling to think of what his face was like and instead remembering the face of a boy in a game I've recently played.
      • I think that before the ramp the fragment starts with me going up, there was water and a pier or something, but I know it was related to the dream sequence that came before.
    4. Wednesday, May 30 - The Child

      by , 06-04-2018 at 04:29 AM
      I have a child. This child is a newborn, though I’m not sure who birthed it. It almost seems as though it was not birthed, but rather simply came into existence. It almost seems that I ‘birthed’ it, by no literal means of the word, only that it’s existence came to be only through myself. Regardless of origins, I am holding it, with its small naked body and longer, black hair. There must have been some gestation period though, as I was assuming this child was a girl. But now it is being made known to me that the child is male. As I hold him, my reaction is a quiet yet jubilant “hell yes!” I am warm and content in the satisfaction of having a son. Later, I am apprehensive in the realization that I still have to work full work-weeks and slightly saddened and embarrassed that I still reside at home.
      Tags: birth, boy, child, son
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    5. Dream - If Only She Could Come

      by , 10-23-2017 at 11:10 AM
      Date of Dream: THU 12 OCT



      Dream No. 210 - If Only She Could Come

      I was at some unknown shopping centre. This public area that I was in, eventually turned into this carpeted area where there was no one else around. I then saw two people working in this random shop. I discovered that someone was causing trouble for them. I tried to call Dreamy WB to help one of the workers but there was no response as of yet. At a further look, the worker was only a young boy, just about my age.

      I took him away to this strange looking bedroom, conversing with him near the armchair. I explained to him why I called Dreamy WB and what she could possibly do for him. I ended up giving him a short hug, which he liked. I then have him a longer one and said that the shorter hug was representative of a typical being whereas the long hug represented that of Dreamy WB. I can't remember what else happened in this dream and whether she came or not.



      Dream Trophies Achieved:

      - None
      Tags: boy, dreamguide, hug, shops
      Categories
      non-lucid
    6. me as the Predator

      by , 02-09-2017 at 07:22 AM (My Robotic imagination)
      I start off in this dream playing a game called Evolved. The monster I was chosen to be was the Predator! And so the weirdness began. I'm fighting people off in a dark room with some kind of blue light and I beat them. I roared at them as the rest retreated away. I feel big and bad and then I see a kid in a hallway. I ran up to him so that he can freak out when he sees me. He looks up at me and seemed unafraid. He walks away and I follow him into his room that was well lit, revealing my unmasked face. I thought for sure he'd be afraid now.I thought about how the Perd's mouth mandibles twitched when he show it to Arnold in the movie. The kid says something and in response I tell him that he has balls of steel to not be afraid. My voice was normal at first but then I switched it to my monster voice I use IRL sometimes. After that I become friendly to him and people. I left out of his room and back out to fight. There was a solider there who had given up on life. I=He had an explosive in his hand and he threw it at me. It stuck to me but I ran back and made it stick back on him. It was a device with a flashing blue light on it and I thought wait a minute. I can't let him die like this, it is not right. I went to him and took what I thought to be the bomb and walked off with it but then realized that it was not it. I quickly turn to him and ran at him in an attempt to get the bomb away from him but it was too late. It exploded, not bothering me too much but them man was done and blown away, leaving nothing but glowing blue stuff. Upset I screamed/roared like the pred did but my voice was slightly there and heard. The kid walked up to me from behind and I shielded him from looking at the dead man and took him away, down a hallway somewhere.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. High up in the sky

      by , 08-12-2016 at 03:36 PM
      D1 - I am in some woods that lead down to a river, on the banks of the river are a small group of people. I offer a boy there a bar of chocolate that i procured on my way. The people are dressed in medieval clothing, but the chocolate bar wrapper and all is modern and large.

      WBTB
      D2 - The boy tells me of a place where we can get more food, if we are clever. There is a college nearby where students often play a game with the locals, throwing paper aeroplanes at each other through the dormitory windows. If we go there at night we may be able to sneak in. We get there and sure enough there are two undergraduates there who are late because they are getting changed from some sporting activity.
      When they open the dorm window to play paper aeroplane throwing, I climb across a para-pit joining the building and onto the roof.
      From there I sneak into the building.

      WBTB
      D3 - I am now inside the large college buildings which look edwardian or later, mostly stone with elegant windows. There is some do going on but I am in a side room. I go to look down from one of the windows and see the feathery leaves and branches of a tree.
      The tree looks oriental. It is like a jack in the beanstalk tree and goes down and down and down. I feel a jolt of fear as I realise how high up I am. I am as high up as the sky, looking down seemingly forever. I roll away from the window feeling I cannot stand for a moment. I go to find the boy who is eating and tell him of the tree. He comes and looks.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    8. You called their names too soon, Annie.

      by , 06-28-2016 at 08:58 AM (The Dream Magic Experiment)
      I was looking at a room, dark and shadowy. I just entered it. There is light coming from the two open windows to my left. The room is a kitchen, an old one. Everything is made of blocks/old cement. The color theme is faded yellow and smoky black. The rest of the room is under the cover of darkness so I couldn't see what else is inside, apart from a small part of a table at the center. The only thing I can see clearly was the stone floor lit by the sunlight from the window.

      There was a woman standing on a stool in front of the nearest window. She was wearing a long black dress. She was facing the window but her upper body and head was out of my range of vision. I think she was cleaning the upper area of the window. I was walking with a girl towards the door on the other end of the room, but she was a little bit in front of me. I was a young boy.

      The girl said "You called their names too soon, Annie."

      "Oh, dear. But it was already their time," the woman answered, in her apologetic, somber voice, as she continued her work.

      We walked past her, but as we approached the next window, there again on the stool is the woman in her long black dress. We walked on.

      Just as we were about to reach the door, the girl went ahead. I felt the woman's hand on my right shoulder, and she whispered: "Run."

      I smiled without looking at her. "Thanks, Annie. But I don't want to run anymore."

      Updated 06-28-2016 at 10:28 AM by 47454

      Categories
      non-lucid
    9. Beating myself up

      by , 04-21-2016 at 07:43 PM
      D1 - I was writing a letter in an agreed code to the love of my life. I was communicating in the way we had agreed in a language only we understood. I was working away when somebody started nosing asking me what I was doing. Then there was someone else sending a letter, too her, a normal letter. I got annoyed that they were sending her things and started to question whether I was right or not.

      D2 - Some dark dream about large enemies in a dark inky watery world. A struggle for survival, repeated over and over.

      D3- At work I am feeling the emotions carried over from the previous two dreams, I am distraught, feeling too many emotions, saddness, anger and hopelessness all overcoming me. A boy is goading me and even though I know I will lose my job I chase after him, meaning to hurt him, I gets some steel prongs and catch up with him on a stairwell. We struggle and I hit him, bubbling over with anger. I hit him again aiming to kill him though at the same time not wanting too. He just looks at me strangely not retaliating.
      A teacher is coming and I know they will put me in prison.
      I know then that I am dreaming and change the prongs into broken peices of a plastic spade, harmless. They can harm no one any more.

      [comment]
      I realise the boy of course is me, when I was younger
      who I blame for the mess I am in now
      although he obviously intended no harm

      The dark world is the world I have been living in I think.
      just fighting for survival.
      I walk out of that dream into a calm place on a seashore, I sit feeling the calm and peace wash over me.

      I think I know the first dream too but it is a bit to personal and near the bone right now.

      Updated 04-21-2016 at 07:53 PM by 89275

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , nightmare , dream fragment
    10. Semi-Lucid 11.24.11

      by , 10-15-2015 at 09:08 PM
      I remember protecting a young boy with dark hair and a darker complexion. He was being viciously attacked by his father/sterp-father. He was a big stocky fellow. I kept making the boy run from him on a playground that was similar to my grade school playground in rockford. I was actually keeping him, his mother, and one of his siblings from being hurt by his father. Everywhere we went the father kept finding us. He came rushing up to us with a gun shooting in our direction. I knew this had to stop. So I ran up to him and put my hand on the barrel of his gun. I told him, "I'll make a bet with you, you like bets don't you?" He nodded and so I replied, "Ok, I am going to let you unload this clip on me and if I die then you can do whatever you want, however, if I survive, you have to leave the boy and his family alone forever." He agreed so I took a step back and prepared to be shoot multiple times. For some reason he decided to throw a knife at me first. He missed. I picked up the knife and said, "see that won't work with me." I put out my left arm and cut myself with that knife. The pain wasn't as bad as I had expected and the would didn't bleed. I said "try again with the gun and remember our deal." He then brought the handgun up and fired multiple times. I remember feeling the bullets hit me but no pain. Unfortunately that is when my alarm went off and I woke up.
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    11. Police officer fasley accused of wrong doing

      by , 10-10-2015 at 10:25 PM
      I was a police officer and the station got a call about a fire going on in the park (ie a wooded park) somewhere. I think I was a detective officer like Murdoch from Murdoch Mysteries. I was trying to investigate the situation. But at two different times, a boy and a girl (I think with blonde hair) came over and basically accused me of being the one to start the fire. It was only I think a couple of days later, their guardian (I don't think it was either of their moms) came over to accuse me of the same thing. I asked if I could call my boss (Who was the Chief of Police and I was also friends with him) to sort out the problem. He came down and sorted it out
    12. For Donnie.

      by , 10-07-2015 at 03:57 PM
      Date: October 7, 2015
      Method: MILD, WBTB
      Sleeptime: 10:00ish
      WBTB: 5:00am stayed up around 10 minutes
      Results:Lucid (x2) DEILD and a DILD

      DILD
      Realized I was dreaming and became lucid. I tried to concentrate on an experiment I have been working on, but instead a vision of bodies floating in the sea appeared. That vision scared me so I made myself wake up.

      DEILD
      Decided to try again since I was still 'tingling' and a vision of women at a beauty parlor appeared and they just looked at me (like I really needed my hair done...which I do ).

      I concentrated on my experiment mission and instead a little boy appeared. He was adorable. He looked like he was about 5 or 6 years old in a baseball jacket and a baseball cap. He had no face at all (like if i was drawing him in a picture, I intentionally left out the eyes, nose, mouth, etc). I asked him what was wrong and he said, "My mommy will die before my daddy." I said, "What is your name?" He said, "Donnie." I said, "Donnie, do you want a hug?" He shook his head yes and ran into my arms. He held on to me for dear life. Let me tell you DV family, that hug felt as real as me typing these words on my computer. I immediately felt his sorrow and as I was hugging him the scene changed to this:

      His mother told him to hide under the bed and don't make a sound no matter what he hears. The father came in and was beating the mother and said he was going to kill her. The mother's face never looked toward that bedroom and at least to me, she didn't seem like she wanted to make a sound. As if she knew if she yelled, the little body would come out from under that bed.

      Yeah....I still have the goosebumps.

      Updated 10-07-2015 at 04:03 PM by 62703

      Categories
      lucid
    13. Alien Eyes / Smell TOTM

      by , 05-13-2015 at 12:35 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #435 - WILD - 4:15AM

      I did a WBTB coffee (2tbsp coffee grounds + 1tbsp sugar) at 4AM. Chug and and crash focusing on WILD.

      I quickly recognize the usual sensations but it hard to get out. I realize I need some stimuli and the first thing I think of is sex. During the enjoyment, I notice a very young girls is sleeping next to me in the same bed while some woman is riding me. I begin to feel awkward and want to get away. I notice that I am deep enough in the dream now, so I push the woman off and mutter, "That's enough."

      I easily stand up and wonder into the bathroom. I have an embarrassing situation that I try to ignore so I look into the mirror to distract me. My face distorts and I now have large aliens eyes. Instead of the deep black associated with gray's, I have white glowing light like my eye are made of some sort of reflective material. I marvel at the glowing light from within for a second and then decide to try playing with the mirror a bit. It looks really dirty witch is distracting but it seems like there is a different room past my reflection. I press my face into the glass and it stretches like soft rubber. I pull back and try to focus on something in the background, hoping to fall in, but I suddenly wake up.


      #436 - DEILD -5:08AM

      Having realize that only 15 minutes passed since I drank coffee, I decide it can't have kicked in much though I feel mildly stimulated. I relax focusing on my face as I body awareness meditation and quickly pass out.

      There is something about my brother visiting my house. Me setting at table telling myself that I am dreaming, but not caring much. Maybe I thought I had it under control, but lucidity slips away. After talking with my brother, I decide it's time to lay down for WILD.

      I am in a room eating white grapes with a small boy. Then try to eat something like a grape, but rock hard. The dream fades to darkness, but I hear a voice telling me to hold me focus and wait (meaning DEILD).

      I have WILD sensations, but I am able to blindly get up. I jump around to stimulate my dream body. It feels super odd. I begin to float so I open my eyes. I am now standing in the room again. There is trash everywhere and the little boy is just looking at me. He gives me a grape and I taste it. Bland. I recall the smell TOTM and quickly search the floor. I spot a banana peel, pick it up, and give it a good sniff. Nothing. I try again breathing deeper, but now I am too aware of my physical body. I remember breath is the only connection to waking world. I stop and try an orange peel that's near the spot where I found the banana. It has a mild, undefinable scent. I now recall my monster TOTM and tap the boy's elbow. "Common!", I say as I start to look for a bed. I wake up.

      Updated 05-13-2015 at 12:42 AM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid , task of the month
    14. Experiment with Kava Kava (notes) / Creating a Cat (DILD)

      by , 04-26-2015 at 11:02 PM
      Ritual: Last night I experimented for the first time with kava kava root (Piper methysticum). I had read many anecdotal reports that it instigated vivid dreams and perhaps even lucidity, so I thought it was worth trying out. I ordered some dried powdered root from an online herb and spice supplier that I trust. I don't have any doubts about the freshness and quality, as the package confirms that it was packed earlier this month and sourced from Vanuatu. I had read many reports of people complaining about the taste, describing it as "muddy," so I was surprised when I opened the package and encountered the most extraordinary and delightful fragrance. The plant is related to pepper, so it made sense that the scent would be peppery, but there was also something delicately floral about it and even a hint of wintergreen.

      I had abstained from alcohol all day, since the two should not be consumed together, and my plan was to drink the kava before bed. I had a late dinner, ending at 11pm, so my plan was to give myself two hours to digest, then start drinking the kava at 1am and go to bed a few hours afterward (unless it made me too sleepy before that, which seemed like a distinct possibility). I don't like cold drinks late at night, but I read that you could warm kava gently without destroying its properties, so I adapted a recipe for "Mexican Hot Cocokavachocolate," blending two tablespoons of powdered kava kava (half what the recipe calls for, as I didn't want to overdo it my first time), two tablespoons of cocoa powder, agave syrup, a spoonful of cinnamon, and a generous pinch of cayenne with about two cups of almond milk (I skipped the vanilla extract suggested by the recipe because I didn't want to use even a tiny amount of alcohol). I blended this until it was frothy and then separated it into two mugs, putting one in the fridge—I planned to start with a minimal dose, and work up from there if it felt warranted. The other mug I heated briefly in the microwave, just enough to warm it, and then topped it with a dusting of grated Himalayan salt and freshly made whipped cream.

      Okay, I'll admit I have a slightly weird palate (for instance, I *love* the taste of wormwood), but this was one of the most delicious dessert drinks I have ever tried in my life! It was so much better than regular hot chocolate; the spices and kava gave it exceptional depth of flavor and an unusual aftertaste. I didn't even need to strain it: I don't know if my powder was ground unusually finely or if the almond milk held it in suspension better than plain water, but it only added body, not grit, to the concoction.

      I'm glad that I had done enough research to anticipate the curiously numbing, analgesic sensation that spread from my mouth all the down my esophagus, because that's the kind of thing that would really worry you if you didn't know it was supposed to happen! I sipped the kava very slowly over the next hour or so, to make sure my stomach didn't have any problems with this new experience. Everything was fine, and the onset of bodily relaxation came quickly, though my mind remained clear. After the first mug I felt like it would be fine to drink the second one I had reserved, so I slowly consumed that too. Despite the heavy feeling in my body, it never did make me drowsy, so I played SWTOR until 3:30am and then read DV and some LD books to prep for bed, retiring at 4:30am. I should note that I never felt any trace of euphoria, either, an effect that some had noted. That didn't bother me, though: my only interest was in enhancing my dreams.

      Unfortunately, in that respect, the kava kava was a total bust. It was no different from any ordinary night of crappy dreaming: I was vaguely aware of dreaming most of the night, but my recall was terrible and what details I could specify were mostly mundane day residue. There was no sense of complex overarching plots, just lots of little random scenarios. Lots of people have written that kava helped them sleep more deeply and wake refreshed, but I didn't experience that either: I woke three times in the first several hours of sleep, which is typical, except that I felt much groggier than usual during those brief wakeful periods. At 9:00am I woke up and felt so unpleasantly lethargic, mentally as well as phsyically, and the dreaming had been so disappointing, that I decided to try to clear my head with an ample dose of piracetam. That stuff is amazing: to preserve its efficacy I save it for special occasions, but it always works really well to clear up any "brain fog."

      Within fifteen minutes I was feeling complete mental clarity, so I decided to turn it into a proper WBTB. I added some L-theanine, alpha-GPC and bacopa and returned to bed using WILD technique. My focus was still subpar and I couldn't count effectively, so I initially fell into non-lucid sleep, but gradually became more aware of the dream as it progressed. There was no "aha" moment of lucidity, but I was definitely lucid by the end.

      In conclusion, the kava kava didn't seem to improve my dreaming in the slightest, but at least it didn't suppress it either. If anything helped me get lucid, I believe it was the piracetam and other supplements I took at WBTB, because those I've had success with many times before. My recall was poor for most of the night, and even after waking up from the LD only the last scene was initially clear; recollection of the earlier incidents revived only after I started tracing back the course of events.


      DILD, "Creating a Cat": I was hanging out with a friend, JM, and her young son. [DR: yesterday I had seen a picture of this kid that she had posted on Facebook.] The little boy was telling us a story about a butterfly who took care of him in the place he used to be. It sounded like he was talking about before he was born, and this reminded me of a book I had learned about last night, about a project to compile and investigate accounts of young children who claim to have memories of past lives. [DR: Jim B. Tucker, Return to Life, 2015.] After I mentioned the book to my friend, she told me about the time she took her son to an island off the coast of Wales (the named started with a 'T', something like "Tirnagal" or "Tiriagal") and he had started talking about how he used to live there. As she describes this, suddenly we both turn and stare as we hear the boy start speaking another language with the somber intonations of an adult. I have no idea what Welsh sounds like, but what the boy is saying definitely has the structures of a formal language—it is not just childish babble. The experience is so uncanny that I feel the hairs on my arms rise. Before I leave, I say to my friend, "The only thing I regret about not having a kid is the way it can sometimes provide unexpected insights into the human experience." [DR: This comment might also have been inspired by something I was reading last night, on p.163 of The Ego Tunnel, by Thomas Metzinger (2009), where he describes a toddler who falls and looks to his mother for social cues about how to emotionally react.]

      I leave my friend's apartment and go outside. Now I'm on a beach. This is one of my most distinctive and common dream signs, despite the fact that I have little interest in beaches in WL and rarely visit them. I think it is related to the tide, a phenomenon that has always unsettled me. Despite the frequency and distinctiveness of this dream sign, for some reason it is one that I always have trouble recognizing as such. On this occasion I already have some degree of dream-awareness, but I lack awareness of that awareness, the metacognition that is characteristic of true lucidity.

      As I'm walking along the beach, the sand looks soft and warm and comfortable, and I can't resist the temptation to lie down in it. Initially I am lying on my stomach, but then I roll onto my back, and feel as cozy as a kid making snow angels. I pause to reflect, why do you never hear of kids making sand angels? My comfort is soon disturbed by rippling in the sand... I notice that the whole beach is now billowing and subsiding, the dunes rolling like great waves. "Is it supposed to do that?" I vaguely wonder, and then a particularly large dune threatens to bury me, forcing me back on my feet to keep my balance. Though not quite lucid at this point, I have instinctive awareness of my mastery and control in this environment: I find it easy to "surf" these sand waves as they roll by underfoot. But they are getting even bigger, and I have the impression that the water is now rising rapidly as well, so I decide to find higher ground.

      At the edge of the beach I find a stairwell leading up into a building. Getting into it takes some creative climbing, as there are various panels of transparent plexiglass serving as barriers, but I manage to circumvent them and get inside. The stairs emerge into the center of a dim, semi-industrial space, with narrow walkways on all four sides surrounding the wide pit formed by the stairwell in the middle of the room. No sooner have I gotten my bearings than a round hatch covering the end of a large pipe poking through the wall opens, and a humanoid creature crawls out. It is gollum-like, with huge bulging eyes. I don't want to be spotted, so I hold still and focus on being invisible. I feel a moment of relief as the creature initially descends the stairs, but it comes back promptly joined by a second person, a male human. As they approach the spot where I'm standing, I retreat into a corner to avoid them: even if they can't see me, they might blunder into me by accident if I'm not careful. On the bright side, having to strategize in this tense situation is improving my lucid awareness.

      I reflect that my "invisibility" is just a mind trick: I am willing the DCs not to see me, and from their lack of reaction I assume it is working, but I can still see my own body plainly. This bothers me—at this point I'm a fairly experienced dreamer, so shouldn't I be able to dispense with a body? I've had no dearth of NLDs where I'm just a disembodied perspective, so surely I should be able to accomplish the same thing in my LDs. I decide to try to eliminate my dream body.

      My body does obediently disappear from my field of vision, but the trouble is I still *feel* like I'm in a human body, with two legs, two arms, and two eyes located frontally in my head. If I have really transcended the body, I should no longer feel like I am mapped onto a human being. I conclude that I should begin subverting the pattern, and my first attempt is to try to shift my visual apparatus to floor level. This seems like it should be a fairly easy, basic task, but I find that I have trouble with it, maybe because I get caught up in questions like, well, if I'm not seeing out of physical eyes, then shouldn't my vision be even more radically different—unconstrained by frontality, for instance?

      Meanwhile the man and gollum-like creature disappear into a side door, still apparently oblivious to my presence. I retrace my steps to the top of the stairs and examine the hatch that the latter had crawled out of. I consider going in there to explore, but decide that from the look of the creature and the size of the hatch, it will probably just be a cramped and uncomfortable network of tunnels. Instead I decide to follow the two through the side door.

      I find myself in a large, open exhibition space with various vendors and booths. I pause for a moment to wonder why spaces like this are so common in my dreams. I don't know if this was a product of false memory or else better access to dream memory than I have in waking life, because at the time I was under the impression that I encountered such rooms on a regular basis; now that I'm awake I don't feel like they're especially common. At first I was just wandering around with no specific purpose, when it occurred to me that I shouldn't waste this opportunity to work on some tasks. There are a ton of things on my docket, but nothing especially pressing, so I thought over a few possibilities and decided to work on my Ars Magica forms and techniques—the other day I printed out the whole list of combinations and decided I should make it a long-term goal to try out all of them eventually.

      I recalled that "creo animál" was the first one on my list that I had not tried, so I started intoning, "Creo animál!" I lengthened the syllables in a resonant voice, putting emphasis on the first syllable of "creo" and the last syllable of "animál." I repeated the invocation a few times in this manner, staring at an empty patch of floor. I didn't have a clear idea in mind of what kind of animal I wanted to create, but I thought I could leave that open for the dream to surprise me. However, nothing was happening. I thought perhaps I needed some raw materials, so I telekinetically lifted a nearby booth (hoping this wouldn't be too much inconvenience to the vendor) and pulled it into the space where I was working, then focused on compacting its form and shape into something suitable to my purpose. It folded itself up obediently until it was much smaller. However, I felt like I needed to impose a pattern on it since the dream wasn't responding with anything, so I arbitrarily chose the form of a cat. People started gathering around to watch the show as the booth finished its transformation, and now there was a short-haired black and white cat sitting stiffly on the floor. [In retrospect, the technique was closer to "muto" than "creo," since I adapted existing material rather than conjuring it from thin air.]

      The newly-created cat was not moving, and did not seem capable of movement; it was like an empty shell of a cat, a living doll. This made sense, since I had created the body but not endowed it with sentience: I concluded that this would require a separate effect. Luckily this concurred with another task I needed to work on. "Creo mentem," I said, directing my words at the cat, and this time the effect resolved quickly: now the cat seemed to be capable of moving and perceiving its environment.

      I wondered if "mentem" alone was sufficient: wouldn't that create something with the bland mental workings of a robot? Wouldn't I need to add "imáginem" to endow it with emotions and imagination, the "spark of life"? I wasn't sure, but I thought I'd better throw that in for good measure, so I intoned "Creo imáginem," focusing on giving the creature the capacity for emotions and inner life. Immediately I had doubts about whether this was wise. I don't know if my doubts were caused by the cat's behavior or if the cat's behavior was conditioned by my doubts, but whichever it was, the creature did not look pleased. It was lashing its tail in the way cats do when they're annoyed, and its face was contorted into a savage snarl. I wondered if throwing in "imáginem" had been overkill—emotions are not always pleasant, after all, and a creature so unexpectedly brought into existence might well be feeling upset and disoriented. Plus, I didn't even know if "imáginem," was necessary for a complete being; perhaps sentience was sufficiently specified by "mentem." [Consulting the Ars Magica rulebook now, I see that I misremembered the scope of of the Form: "imáginem" deals with sensations and illusions, not emotions and imagination. Though actually that makes the whole Form seem superfluous to the dreamstate, where there is no obvious difference between creating a thing and creating an illusion of that thing.]

      I knelt down to have a closer look at my creation, and felt even more disturbed. There was something awful and abject about its face, a wound or rot-like distortion of its jaw that left the teeth clearly visible through its cheek. [DR: I realize this might also be day residue, because recently I was reading articles about the so-called "zombie cat" which came with graphic pictures of a similarly disfigured animal.] I decided that I should try to understand what this cat was experiencing, so I said, "Intéllego animál." I felt impressions of fear and rage coming from the poor creature, and guiltily realized that I must have screwed up somehow. It made it even worse that it was a cat, a kind of animal for which I feel a great love and sympathy.

      Pot - Worse than cigerates?-zombiecat.jpg

      With a sweeping gesture I willed all the effects I had invoked to disperse, effectively uncreating the cat. I didn't have a clear visual sense of the result (did the body simply disappear or did the vendor's booth revert to its former shape? I'm not sure), but at least I felt that the spell had ended. I looked up at the spectators who had been watching the whole event and sheepishly apologized: "It didn't want to be a cat. I'm sorry. It just didn't work out."

      One woman spoke up in reply. Her words were uttered very calmly and slowly, emphasizing each of the adjectives, and I felt like she was subtly criticizing my actions: "People want to be fair, and dominating, and controlling, and diverting."

      Updated 04-26-2015 at 11:20 PM by 34973

      Categories
      lucid , side notes
    15. Eating Contest

      by , 04-22-2015 at 02:37 PM
      Non-lucid
      I watched an overweight teenage girl have an eating contest with a young boy while I was on a cruise ship.
    Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 ... LastLast