Recent DJ Posts

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In the US, possibly in Washington, but later it feels more like NY. Anyway, I am at some important rally and the speaker's poll is in the middle of some staircase. The crowd is clearly mostly democrats but lots of republican trumpers are in the mix. The speakers are calling for peace and unit and trumpers are yelling "Trump for president". Then Jon Stewart comes to speak and everyone is listening and I wonder why people haven't started chanting "Stewart for president" so I try to start it. But the environment turns chaotic suddenly, with people running away down the stairs and I even see a couple pigs running among the people. People start disbanding. I take some route which leads me to bump into Jon Stewart in some back alley. He is all by himself, so I must speak to him. It's a quick encounter in which I express my admiration for him, but then he has to leave. Since I don' t wanna let him go, I stalk him and clearly tell him I wanna stalk him for a while, hoping he finds it funny and not creepy. I ask if I can walk with him wherever he is going or work for him and help in whatever he needs help. I am basically desperate.
Maybe I look harmless because he agrees to give me a chance. When we reach some place with an elevator he tells me to take it and wait by the door of the 7th and I'll be able to meet his family and stay with them for a while. I am blown away and totally trust him, so I go inside the elevator. The elevator is really just a shaft full of spiders and other bugs through which a very shady wood platform descends. When it stops, I am covered in spiders and other unidentified bugs and creeped out, trying to get them off of me. I am in a hallway with lots of other people and some guys are mocking me but then a couple others decides to help em and they shake off some of the bugs. I am confused if Jon pranked me or was seroous, so I look at the doors with numbers looking for a number 7. There is an apartment number 7, but it doesn't even have a door and each room is occupied by extremely poor people sleeping in matresses on the floor. I don't think I am in the right place but I wait a little, to see how it goes.
Everyone is staring at me, wondering what I am doing there, so I leave. I exit the building and realize I had entered it through a top floor that was street level and now this floor also exits to another street level. I go outside and look at the building number and it is 7, so I wait at this door instead. It is getting dark and I feel a bit uncomfortable, but soon after some nice lady with long hair looks at me and tells me to follow her. I wonder how she knows it's me or how I know she's the one I am supposed to follow, but I go. She walks me into a place that at first seems like a posh apartment building, but soon I realize it is some kind of company. There is a large lobby area with some people sitting on a sofa and a kid playing videogames. She points to them and says something about who they are, but I only focus on the fact their kid is autistic. I tell her I am too, allthough a "light" case. I wave and say high to them. The kid briefly looks but immediately breaks eye contact. Then we enter what looks like an open space office, but it leads almost directly to a very unusual toy shop. Not like toys'r'us, not childish, more like a modern space with designer toys, educational and creative toys and arts and crafts materials. I immediately get hooked to it but then realize I am supposed to be nice to my hosts, so I look around for the lady. She introduces me to a lot of family members, a girl I assume it's her daughter, some playboy dude that doesn't take his eyes away from me and others. But I still don't know how they relate to Jon. I feel like the lady is his sister, she doesn't look like his wife. At some point I sit on some couch in a quiet corner thinking and wonder about my goal here: do I just wanna be friends with the family? Am I trying to win them over? Do I wanna hit on Jon, despite knowing he is happily married? I do consider that and how I'd be okay if he fell for me. I justify to myself that maybe he'd be happier with me. Then I think how silly I am and I could not make him happy, he would just be someone really interesting and entertaining to have in my life, but I could not be up to his expectations, so I abandon that silly thought. I do like the family though and decide to become friends with them. A couple black kids visiting the store or friends of the family sit by my side and tell me their names. They are really cute and very alike, which I mention to them. They say they aren't brothers, just friends but recognize the similarities. Only difference is one has really dark eyes and complexion and the other has lighter eyes and complexion and is slightly smaller, but they look like twins otherwise. Then some younger kid comes deliver me a condom and says some gentleman sent it. He points to that idiot playboy I 've met before. He is waving at me and making supposedly seductive looks and gestures, but to me he just looks ridiculous. I tell the kid to take it back. He goes and comes back and throws the condom at me. I can't with the dude and give him the finger. Then I notice another guy by his side with some sort of mental development delay or cerebral palsy. He is incredibly tall and built up and clearly shares physionomical characteristics with the playboy, so maybe they're brothers. I see the playboy treating his supposed brother like shit, dismissing and ignoring him, and I don't like his attitude. Later on I see this guy alone and become his friend. When later the family gathers to have dinner or something, in private quarters, I walk him in, hand in his arm and he is smiling like the family has never seen him do. The lady that brought me in and her supposed daughter are looking at me smiling in approval and the playboy dude is absolutely ego crushed and not believing this.
Later even, some gentleman of the famiky takes me on a tour to the company and shows me a large area that is not in use and I immediately design a sketch of how it could be decorated and used in extension to the existing shop. He later presents my idea to the family and they all agree they like it and ask me if I wanna work for them and implement it.

3rd March 2022

Long dream, but I left recall too late.

Fragment:

Something like WoW but with more Korean-style game mechanics; progression, levels, gear, and so on mostly like Lost Ark. The areas have a similar feel to that game but it plays more like WoW. Then, I enter some end-game dungeon on my own and tell T about it, via PM I think. I figure that the dungeon is too hard for me to do alone and with my current gear. Looking in the map, I think at first that it's a small instance, at least until I realise there are other layers which are much bigger.

I decide to explore the starting area of the instance a little bit, despite actually intending to leave. The place is a bit like a mix of Onyxia's lair and Molten Core. I explore a small rock tunnel, with a sort of high and triangular shape. This tunnel is next to a different tunnel which was the entrance. In the tunnel I explore, I find Hellfire orc engineers and a number of their landmines which are invisible at first. Not confident about my ability to solo this, I use a number of shielding abilities and area of effect (Paladin?). The mines do way less damage than I was expecting, not even taking my shields off.


5th March 2022

Fragment:

H has a "Velvetiser" thing (his mom showed us this, recently) and H is using the machine. I can't see much of what's going on because I seem to be sitting down. In our kitchen?

Fragment:

Something about H transforming into a woman and being nearby or narrating. This (other) somewhat fat woman sits naked on top of my chest and is trying to get me to put my lips on her genitals. I resist and feel distressed by the forceful nature of what seems to be going on, being put off by the fact there is an odd taste or smell. I feel abused. (This feeling lingers as I wake up)


6th March 2022

Left recall too late.

Fragment:

(near end of dream) I am with H in an area with a few small warehouses. I think in the middle of some woods, although there is a "town" feeling to the place. It also feels a bit like a garden centre? We go into one of the warehouses. There are stacks and stacks of wooden organ pipes. We make some deal with a white man, short black hair, mid 40s/50s. Then, before we leave, I ask him at last something that had been on my mind: "Do you know of any similar dealers such as yourself, who deal in metal pipes instead?"

He does give me a reply in full but I lost recall of it. I do recall the reply was to my satisfaction and I gratefully express my thanks before we leave the warehouse. It's possible he gave me some contact details. Inside the warehouse, it seemed quite dark apart from the fact that it was lit by hanging bare incandescent bulbs. Outside it's sunny. There's a bright chalk-ish white gravel which makes paths. The woods are fir of some kind.

We had a bit of a tidy yesterday and I had somewhat strange sleep because of a supplement I took that I even forgot I had around; but I'd also forgotten why I'd stopped taking it. I had extremely vivid dreams but unable to really stay asleep. The first two fragments were from some of the awakenings and were actually really quite long and detailed dreams, just as the third, but I didn't memorise enough of them since I didn't write them down when I had them.

---

Dream Fragment:

Was in my old home area. For some reason I managed to get a job as a secretary for some important person (politician/businessman?) and I was being interviewed by a woman with tied up hair and glasses; very similar to the secretary in the original Deus Ex game, come to think of it.

For whatever reason I was using an alias, a French name going just by "Sís", even though I was uncertain myself how I should pronounce it. I remember being asked about speaking French, and I said (roughly) in French that I could speak the language poorly.

I remember the room I was in was office-like but sort of well decorated as I'd expect for my native region.

Dream Fragment:

I wasn't a character myself in this dream. It was more like watching something. It was in China or a place like it and I was seeing inside an office at a business skyscraper. Two men were discussing (in English) about how a brand new government law was going to make everyone's life hell, basically. They could see it being announced on a TV at their workplace. Everyone was becoming afraid of speaking to anyone else but most people were uncomfortably relaxed in a sense, seemingly they felt safe in this place anyway.

I remember one of these two men making a comment saying "I don't even want to take anyone in my car with me anymore."

Then there were some scenes outside, scenes of traffic and of dead vegetation/landscapes. It was a gloomy day-time throughout this dream.

Dream Fragment:

I am somewhere underground, at some kind of mixed restaurant/convenience store place. I'm with my family, and I'm making small talk with the shop lady. She's interested in my phone and asks if I can get her some extra ones of the same model. I say sure, but then question if it's worth it. I tell her that if I get them at a "brand new price" there's nothing in it for either of us. Before she can give me a reasonable idea of what the agreement would be, my phone "rings" (vibrates, more like, I think).

It's an old friend, someone I haven't spoken to in over two years in waking reality. Da is calling me and I try to answer but somehow I tap something that says "delete contact" right under "accept call"!

Feeling frustrated by the fact I just made such a mistake I try to get the number back somehow from the log and then try calling back. He answers and I try to speak but he can't hear me.

I walk outside from this shop, still underground and take a left and then a right and go up some stairs. I'm outside now. I don't remember what it looked like exactly, but get the feeling of "arid".

I speak again, and Da hears me now. I ask, "Hey, how are you? It's been a really long time." He says "I'm ok, I guess." He makes some sort of ironic and witty but also serious remark about how I hadn't been in contact. I try to explain that I did try communicating over the last two years, but that every time I did, I never heard anything back.

We get into small talk and his behaviour over the phone seems more normal, less upset as it seemed like initially. I can hear he's playing something on a console. "Is that Tekken you're playing?" He doesn't answer immediately, concentrating and then says he'll be finished shortly and then we could do (whatever it was) that we were going to do. I quickly realise internally that it couldn't be a Tekken game. All the sounds are too sort of retro and synth-like.

I remember pacing around outside while on the phone, something I do anywhere whilst on the phone. Everything feels vivid and somewhat real despite the fact that the place I'm at looks somewhat alien. The structure of this place on the outside is some sort of hard compacted sand and I'm on some kind of platform. There are metal beams or girders somewhere as part of the structure, but I forget the details now.

It's kind of daytime, but there's a strange light. I don't remember anything else now but this fragment was only the second half of this dream.

---

No notes for now.

Morning of February 23, 2018. Friday.



In the first part of my dream, I am sitting on the floor of the Gellibrand Street apartment’s porch. (We have not lived there in years.) I am looking through and reading some coupons relating to free offers. By writing down four letters which appear on the coupon, KLRS, and then the next letter after each, underneath, LMST, it somehow causes a package to be immediately sent to our front door, though I do not open it as I focus on the unusual nature of this puzzling technology. I begin to ponder on how the company would know what I wrote in a notebook in my own home.

I later write LMPR, and MNQS underneath. (Throughout my dream, I clearly read and write uppercase letters which remain the same, which is atypical of the dream state, as writing typically changes in many dreams when looking back at it again.) A handwritten message appears above the letters relating to the activation of a special offer. Similar events occur a few more times.

I begin to wonder more about how this is possible. The setting changes (without my dream self paying much attention) to an unfamiliar location. It is a large room with a table. Dennis (an older half-brother on my mother’s side ) is present. (I have not seen him in real life since 1994.)

I tell Dennis about the companies and clubs that somehow cause handwritten messages to appear in my notebook. I look through my notebook and, for a time, cannot find the evidence, though I eventually do and show him. One message is on what looks like black embossing tape with white letters. It easily comes off the page. Dennis is curious, but I consider he may not be convinced of this inexplicable technology.

“Watch this,” I tell him. Instead of getting a code from a coupon, I make up a sequence. I write NOPQ, but decide to change it to LMNR, as I consider the code would probably not have four letters in a row in alphabetical order as such, even though they are otherwise in an alphabetical sequence. I then write MNOS underneath. A handwritten message appears out of nowhere that displays something like, “Thank you for activating your membership.” I use NORS, OPST underneath, and a similar message appears. I ask Dennis, “How are they doing this?” He does not reply. I use MNOS a few times (with NOPT), each time on a different page, and the same message appears above what I had written, relating to benefits of membership activation, though I eventually get, “You have already activated your membership. Thanks for your participation.”

I start to consider that there may be hidden cameras everywhere. This seems to “explain” it, though I forget about the unlikelihood of writing appearing on paper from no discernible source.

I write MNOS again and NOPT underneath. A large moving image of a Doberman Pinscher’s head appears on the wall. It is as if a film is being shown; the aspect ratio is square. The dog is apparently barking, but there is no sound. I perceive this as some sort of function to express a warning about repeatedly using the same code to activate something that had already been activated. There is no sense of threat at any time or any genuine wariness. In fact, I find it somewhat amusing even if it is inexplicable.

Again, I ask Dennis, “How are they doing this?” There is now also an unfamiliar male in the room who I do not see as an imposer or related to the inexplicable events. I consider that he may be puzzled as well.

---

Dreams are mainly ascending reticular activating system mediation (and modulation when the dream self by way of subliminal conscious self intent attempts to remain asleep) between transient dream self and whole conscious self identity, primarily being autosymbolism for consciousness reascension while subliminally exploring the dream state. Why so many people completely ignore this truth in favor of asinine pretense (often focusing on negative dynamics even where there are none) has baffled me since childhood. My development since early childhood, in understanding the dream state (and dismissing the tripe of books on the “meanings” of dreams while even marrying my literal “dream girl” in real life), has resulted in an extraordinary virtuous circle effect as seen in this dream, even though my dream self remains puzzled about the communication from my conscious self. Yes, that is what is happening. My conscious self is sending threads of communication (by way of the ECF, emergent consciousness factor, in RAS mediation) to my dream self to enhance skills which typically do not exist in the dream state (though some asinine individuals make the ridiculous claim that one cannot read in the dream state at all). It has nothing to do with “messages from the subconscious”, as my dream self IS the subconscious (and the subconscious is a dynamic band that has no viable temporality or consistent intelligence). Aside from that, only the conscious self has viable reasoning skills, including coherent perception of the written language, and yet here, my dream self maintains (again through the virtuous circle effect of having devoted much of my life to dream state study and enhancement of the dream state) some extent of control and feasible discernment regardless of not being viably lucid.

The dog in the final scene represents the obedience factor (as I have explained in my journal many times before) as well as this dream’s WAF (waking alert factor) by way of my subliminal attempt to sustain the dream state. The wall is a liminal space divider between dream self and conscious self identity. The (transpersonal) preconscious personification (the unfamiliar male in the room) remains passive in my dream self’s subliminal activity until I wake.

---

Morning of May 1, 2015. Friday.



Much of this dream was a bit too abstract to describe the first part of correctly. All the members of my family and I are making things to sell. We seem to be at a picnic table outside in our backyard. The most vivid part does not make any sense. I have made a salad with a lot of leafy green vegetables in it as well as other ingredients such as slices of tomatoes. I pick up a short section of a large even branch from the ground which has seemingly been sawed on both ends. It is a little less than the diameter of my arm. (We do have a short log in our yard in reality but it is bigger than the piece in my dream.) I put the salad on the branch (though I think of it as a small log in my dream) and hold it onto the branch piece with the curved piece of wood (which fits halfway around the circumference of the branch) over all of it. I notice that the wood piece has three screws on it which are aligned to three holes in the branch (one near each side and one in the middle). By tightening the screws, the salad will be kept in place on the surface of the branch by the curved piece of wood until it is ready to be eaten. I notice a small jumping spider crawling up the side of the branch and shake it off - as people will probably not buy it if it has a spider on the salad. (I have found that the term “salad log” exists, so maybe there is a vague association, though I do not recall thinking of this term at any previous time.)

In another section of possibly a different dream sequence, I am doing something involving the usage of postage stamps while sitting on a bed, which seem to have to be American postage stamps to do what I need to do, but there is one point where I cannot find them again (which does not make much sense as I had just seen them previously, having had at least a couple near me). I seem to be in my sister’s house on Loomis Street and am possibly a teenager again. I am not exactly sure of what I am doing. It may relate to drawing or tracing. At one point, I am standing in a featureless semi-dark room and hug my sister and tell her that I love her even though I am also aware to some extent that she has died in reality. She seems very old and frail. There is some sort of concern about where certain stamps are. I pick various foreign ones off the floor at one point. They seem to be kept in a few different smaller cylindrical containers. My sister talks about them but is not sure of their location.

In another part of my dream sequence, I am in a large room with several other people. Many of the people are unknown and of different races. We are all watching “Lost” on a television. However, it is a later version of “Lost”, yet which is a drama concerning earlier situations on the island. Over time, I notice that John Locke is not being played by Terry O'Quinn but a much younger actor. I notice that he has face paint of black and red (and yellow at one point), the black paint being mostly on his forehead and coming down to just below his eyes. He is amusingly dressed and speaking like a stereotypical pirate for some reason and says “Rrrrrr…” at the end of at least one comment he makes. I am a bit annoyed by this version of “Lost” having the same characters but played by different actors, my annoyance growing over time, which I express to the others. I even look it up on the Internet in-dream to see who the actor is that now plays John Locke. However, I cannot remember the original actor’s name and become a bit frustrated over knowing when the different actor took over the role. I see that there is a (fictional) eighth season of “Lost” and possibly more beyond that. In fact, the eighth season seems to have been the last one to star Terry O'Quinn, the plot of the last episode of season eight seeming to relate to Kate and John becoming lost.

Finally, I am at my older brother (deceased) Earl’s house. I do not see him, but his wife Cindy is there. There are a lot of other people in the room including their children and unknown younger people. I am annoyed because Cindy is blocking my way to the front door (even though we are more near the center of the living room near a large table) but I do not show my frustration. I had taken a couple vitamins that are more like headache tablets and there is white powder on the table which I am trying to put back into a capsule or at least elsewhere. (I have never been able to willingly swallow pills of any kind in my life, even very small ones, so I crush headache tablets up into white powder and put them in a drink when I need to take them although I more often use a form of special meditation to erase one when I can.)

In one final dream event, an unknown male knocks on the door and seems to have something important to tell me. However, it soon turns out to be nonsense (which I cannot remember) and he becomes distracted, going elsewhere. This was slightly precognitive in that we actually did have a rare visitor shortly after but he left fairly quickly after knocking. He went to the next house over and was probably selling pay television subscriptions or possibly Internet-related services.

Morning of October 28, 2014. Tuesday.

Dream #: 17,480-02. Reading time: 1 min 20 sec.



I am in Cubitis. It seems to be around 1974, and I am about thirteen years old. The chicken shed is still a rabbit shed. We are going to be moving soon. (We did not move to Wisconsin until the last days of June of 1978.) There is a backstory regarding my unwillingness to accept our rabbits being sold (which seems to imply that we cannot move until we sell the business).

I am in our rabbit shed and see a man and woman in their thirties. They are possibly going to buy most or all of our rabbits. They are in the west area of our shed (that is bigger in my dream) as if I am on the set of a television studio news broadcast, even though I am only talking to them on the telephone.

There is an unseen presence of which I am unsure. It seems to be an older version of me or representing a narrator of my dream. I am told to act as if I am incompetent. As I talk to the buyers, I pretend to stutter and stop in the middle of sentences. I invent false scenarios about our rabbits and our shed. Still, they do not seem to be discouraged from buying. I talk about how mice mix with our rabbits. It seems to be one of the most ridiculous and off-putting things I can say. Eventually (through the uncovered lower area of the shed, between the columns), I notice rabbits hopping around outside and decide to go to the backyard after declaring that all of them are escaping, so there will not be any for them to buy.

I see my father, but I do not recall he died years ago. The physical orientation I feel is quite vivid at this point. From here, I enter the typical sensual stage of encountering a younger version of my wife and indulge in an embrace. In a false awakening of lesser vividness, I tell Zsuzsanna about this dream.

---

Date: 24 Jan

Pre bed: 200mg val, 50mg B6

Wbtb: 1/4 latte

Wasn't very wakeful even though repeated mantras a few times, fell asleep rather fast, had a few non-lds I can't recall

DILD: I am having a tense conversation with this female DC I know. She starts criticizing me. I reply that as a revenge I will then do something to make her feel the same way she makes me feel with all her comments. While this is a rather habitual mental reaction, I notice that contrary to other times I don't feel anything at that very moment. Still, as part of my revenge scheme I take her and turn her upside down in front of all the DCs in the room to publicly humiliate her.

As I stare at her, I notice that she just stays there, like a motionless puppet and become lucid. We're in a very large meeting room with a long table in the middle and lots of DCs participating in some corporate event. I'm in a daring mood and decide it's time to defy social rules by getting on the table in the middle of this meeting. Then I almost lose lucidity being carried away by thoughts of how all of the world's problems may be solved by by issuing unlimited credit cards to the entire population.

I keep thinking about this issue as I leave the place and continue towards an unknown city center. There to help me focus more I shout out loud "I am dreaming". There was a slight instability so this helps me ground as well.

Then I remember the invisibility task and go in the middle of the road pretending to be invisible.There are cars coming from all directions but as soon as I pay attention to them, they hit the breaks and spin a bit. I turn around and the same thing happens again. Then I see this huge truck coming in my direction. I start waving hands, checking if the driver can see me. He doesn't hit the brake or slow down and the truck is quickly coming closer. I step to the side to avoid the impact. There's little space between me and the truck, my uncontrolled expectations cause it to fall sideways on top of me, where I feel this huge weight on me. I try to move and free my head, but this results in a physical feeling, which gives me the impression I have just moved in my bed. I expect to wake up any moment but get an FA instead.

I believe that I have woken up for real and the first thing I notice is this piano music coming from the outside. I'm actually in the neighbors where we used to live some time ago and look to find where the music is coming from. I see this girl that I remember (possibly from another dream but could be false memory) who got that piano there and something about her. As if that isn't enough, the balcony is crowded - many people in their 20s and 30s dressed with business attire as if attending some sort of event. I'm think this is just too much when I am trying to fall asleep and decide this can only be a dream, reminding myself that I was trying to ld. Can't member how, but it seems I lose consciousness after that and have another FA.

I think in the beginning, I'm looking from the window to see what's down but then the scene changes and we move to this wooden porch. I initially see this strange big animal that looks suspiciously like a DS, I can't tell what kind of animal it is. Then there is a smaller one and I'm still trying to identify the large one. I'm starting to have some real doubts about this and begin to count the animals, one now looks like a bear and can't remember the rest but there's four of them. I conclude this is a dream and go to interact with one of the animals. It looks like a very large black boar/tapir and as I place my hand on its snout, it bites me and it even hurts.

I move slightly to the left and examine the rest of the area, where I notice a number of elephant-like creatures. I think they are separated from the porch, but no cage, it looks much like in a zoo. At some point the elephants begin to distort in features, open mounts and start roaring very louldy in a generally unpleasant manner. I try to stop them by thinking I want them to stop, but nothing happens and more join the roaring event. I remain there staring at them as they do so, kind of calm, but there's also this deeper inner response to their roaring, which surely is what is affecting them. I think that the problem is exactly this feedback loop - I am thinking that they are roaring, therefore they continue roaring. Then conveniently, I recall the inivible task and think it can be applied quite nicely here. I think that I am invisible. To my genuine surprise, at this very moment all the roaring stops for good.

I'm curisous to how far I can take this with my supposed invisibility and turn around and try to sneak out, while carefully listening for any reaction. The dream fades.

Notes: I have reduced B6 dosage to 50mg as previously it made me too wakeful. Recent valerian series - characterized by difficult recall, lower lucidity levels and more bizarre occurrences, in particular animals.

A bit out of time this week, an actually not so brief update:

13 May

- Me and a group of 5 kids decide to create a business. We go to register it, and the start up costs are only 100. We talk to some lawyer who says its is excellent because we are all from different countries.

- I become upset and leave the house of a friend wearing slippers. It is very hard to walk with these but I don't find this unusual.

- In our old neighborhood, there are lots of new stores. I go in a supermarket where they are making fresh carrot juice, it is green in color, I wonder a bit about that, but conclude that green carrot juice is ok.

14 May

- In our old place, my mom keeps talking, while I want to go to sleep. I tell her that her talking activates my brain and I cannot fall asleep. It is early morning, still dark outside and snowing.

- I see Dr dre on the street, he is smoking and I want to join him. Before I do, he has finished with the stuff. A skater boy pushes him hard and I think how rude kids are nowadays. I follow Dre to a building, but the cops are all over the place. I have a micro second of lucidity, remembering I read a part of Xanos's dream from yesterday and know it this the cause for this one. I lose my lucidity a second later and try to leave the building.

- I am in jail which looks like a normal house, my belongings are also there. A woman calls me and I think they are finally letting me go. She informs me that she allows me to go out, so that I can find a woman called Connie Flowers or something similar. A friend from school is also accompanying me. We look for the place where Connie lives, but cannot find her. I have another second brief moment of clarity and high awareness, when I am climbing a fence, while looking for her. I continue following the dream but get the brilliant idea to ask some old ladies to show me the way to Connie's house. They all point in one direction and that excites me a lot. I am absorbed back by the dream and we go to the place the women were pointing at.

- A false awakening where I jot down key words from the previous dream. I write Connie Flowers on a piece of paper. Had it not been this FA, I probably would have forgotten the name. It was so realistic that I actually looked down and expected to see it written in my notebook, but nothing was there irl.

- On a street, thinking about last night's dreams. I look at the sky, and decide to star gaze. I have my blanket with me. I get interrupted by a machine washing the streets. My slippers get washed away...

Note: micro-lucids, not counting
Pretty busy this week, I wish my sleep could condense, so that I still get some nice REM moments.

01-13-2013 -- [Any earlier bits are long gone.] I find myself waiting in a ride line at Disney. It is a very long queue and lots of people in line. Occasionally the line has fallen behind because somebody hasn't moved when the line does, and suddenly we find ourselves moving fairly large distances in the line, and sometimes passing people in the other line unexpectedly.

Eventually get to the front of the line, and it seems to have been the line for a roller coaster. The person seating people seems to be Shawn Spencer (Psych), and he is just about to get off work, and is upset they are forcing him to seat a few more people before they let him get off. But finally he is let off, right after he seats me in the front car, and he climbs into the seat behind me.

The ride almost immediately turns into a log ride, though it is a very simple (and not very great) one, since there is one tall ramp, followed immediately by the big drop and the end of the ride. Since Shawn is right behind me, unhappy, and seems to be trying to prank me or something, I am actually kind of turned around in the log, keeping an eye on him, instead of the ride, itself. When we are just about to drop down the ramp on the other side, I turn around fast, but because of the motion, I look really strange in the on-ride picture (which is projected while we are still on the ride.)

The splash-down is fairly large, and I get nicely soaked, and soon we exit the ride. We seem to exit about where we would from the Matterhorn at Disneyland, and it seems we are at Disneyland, since there is a parade going right by us. We're trying to figure where to go next. The easy path to Main Street and the exit is blocked by the parade. There is a close parade crossing that we could use to head over to the Frontierland area, but it would be a long walk. Or we could head the other way and move on to Tomorrowland. Shawn is even thinking of leading me backstage, but we know that could cause trouble.

About this time, we run into Michael Murphy, whom I haven't seen (in dream or real life) in many, many years. We're just chatting for a few minutes, when he suddenly remembers something, and hauls out a sort of soda bottle, and tells me something like "It works. It still works." He explains that he fills the bottle daily with some red liquid that is not the soda I thought it was. Instead, it is some kind of gunk that he has kept in the freezer that I gave him many years ago.

It is something like the mushroom stuff that Pat had given me, that is supposed to continue growing, and be really, really healthy for you. I gave it to him, and he never believed it would work, but eventually it did, and for years since, he has taken some of it every day in the soda bottle and drank it during the course of the day. I ask him what it does for him, and it turns out he has no idea. But it is something Chinese, and he figures he can ask for information at a Chinese food cart right next to us.

It tastes slightly weird and quite sweet, and looks kind of like a sweet and sour sauce. He asks the Chinese lady at the food cart if she knows what it is, and what kind of health benefits it might have, but she only seems to be annoyed with him, and doesn't want to talk to him. Instead she tries to wander off. We try to follow, but she goes up a ladder and through a hatch, and as we are considering following, the hatch is becoming harder and harder to open, and the ladder is becoming less and less stable.

It has turned into the entrance into some sort of strange business involving buying and selling things. By this point, Geoffrey from Waiting For God is here, and is kind of in charge of the business. There are six people who each have a portion of the business. One has 3 clients, another has 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 for the last one. Each client is represented by a coin or some other small token, and a different type of token for each person.

For some reason, though they are in charge of their clients, they are all being told to give me their tokens, so I will get the money and credit for all their work. They aren't pleased with this, of course. I am neither pleased nor displeased, but I can remember the last time I had to do all the work for all the clients, and got no credit, so this does seem to be balancing things out. Very strange.

Suddenly I find myself driving in a familiar area, perhaps on Harbor in Garden Grove. It is an area I have driven a lot in dreams, but I don't think it really is a place from real life. I think I have just gone over an overpass hill, and am now coming up to a light where I will make a left turn and head north to drive a couple of miles and reach Disneyland again.

Been trying ADA still, and the Tibetan inhale-exhale prior to sleep. Also tried to remember the day's events before sleep.

~ 8 am

I am running away from someone or something. Or I think I was going to accompany someone who was running away. We were going to an island, but the boat trip is only available twice a week.

The name "Mary Uzawa."

Mom and dad inside the mall. They have a stall there, selling food I think. They decided to leave it for some time and go upstairs to watch a movie or eat.


~ 4 pm

I keep thinking of USB or money deals or businesses. I'm not sure it's completely legal. A lot of travel, via bus or car. Two huge trucks, one is concealing something, the other isn't concealing the huge, rainbow-colored spiral. I told someone that they should have covered it. The response was that they couldn't find anything that covers it. I told them they should have waited for me then.

I am in front of some kind of salon or office. Three people were talking, two men and one woman. One mentioned that they should get a raise. One responded that they are in the city. The first man said that it shouldn't matter where they are; they should get a proper raise as well. Someone mentioned about the place being near some kind of trouble, like a riot.

I am in the sea. I and some people walked along an aisle with dry goods for sale. Some are clothing.

[Saturday, November 3rd, 2012]
<I lied in my bed, after stretching and meditating for a good long time.
I told myself and whoever would help me, that I needed help having a meaningful dream. Or a lucid dream.
Falling asleep- I instantly began to have dreams, just cloudy ones. I woke up after some time. And re-thought my
intentions to wake up and not move to enter into a DEILD.>

The next time I wake up, completely still.
I feel my body frozen and numb.
I will myself up out of my bed towards the front end of it.
And find my back to the wall.
I repeated in my head-
"MAINTAIN CONTROL. MAINTAIN CONTROL."
But I struggled and got excited and woke up.
I rose my head out from the covers and thought-
"WAIT, THIS IS ANOTHER DREAM."
Suddenly, the darkness in front of me was transformed...
into odd colors and sounds. Spirals and fireworks.
The door had an outline of light that was separated from the door itself!
I got excited again and...

<Then I woke up for real.>
<Through my excitement, I still fell back asleep.>

I'm in a mix of Safeway and Target. I go back with Nathan and Alex to the back of the store. I find a dark corner
where no one goes and in the wall, there's a panel missing. I crawl into the panel and sit there for a moment in the
dusty old grey... and feel... a strange deja vu wipe over me. I find my old, golden, thin-frame glasses that my
Mom's been looking for over two years to find.

<fast forward in dream>

Scientists figure out how to create God, and the head of the company in charge is talking to the father of "Morel
Orel"'s Orel. They're in a dark room with a spot light on their wooden meeting table. Orel's Dad sat there in a dim
meeting room as one of his lead scientists said:

"We've been able to create women, doughnuts, nipples, cars...the whole works!"

Orel's Dad squinted his eyes and said, "Ooohkaayyy. Riiiight." In mocking disbelief.
The scientists went on to tell him that he was to receive cars and money and new technology.
He owned half the company apparently!

I remember a faint impression of being in Nevada or a desert area and I saw large satellite dishes.

<fast forward in dream>

My twin brother had a book that would allow him to have whatever he wanted.
He just had to write it in a blank page.
He was mad at me for some reason and was threatening to write me away.
I grabbed the book and held it shut, we both tried forcing the book out of each others hand.
He tried to cut my hair with a pair of scissors, but I got my head away.
I grabbed the scissors and pretended to cut his hair until he let go of the book.
Then I ran into the other room and hid the book.

Eating with a few people. Strangers. Businessmen. Talking about photography. The dead. Ancestors.

I'm in the UK and I'm doing business in some stone walled house, antiques everywhere, a golden chalice over the fireplace. I don't remember what business I was doing.
Later in that dream I start playing with the local kids, then I stand on top of some weird elevated boulevard.

After that (I think) I went to go to a Three Days Grace concert (used to be my favorite band) and before it started, I was standing near that boulevard and talking to the band members. I saw nothing strange about this, or the fact that the drummer was using a guitar hero set. When I went to the concert with my friends, the performance room was tiny. There was maybe 300-500 people there. Then I noticed there were other bands playing right next door. My friends who went with me loved it but I was kinda bored. The redeeming trait in this dream is that I finally experienced some music in my dream, though it was nothing extraordinary. Still cool since I don't remember ever dreaming about music.

*** This is my first lucid dream ***
I'm in a hallway that's poorly lit, few doors on each side of the hallway. At the end is a door that's slightly open, light on. I walk towards it and find out it's a restroom.. well i see a mirror and decide to look at myself. ( at this time i have no control of the dream nor do i know I'm dreaming ) All of a sudden after looking in the mirror, i become heavy and i glow a bright golden color, at this time I'm granted control of my actions and I'm aware it's a dream. I'm then transported to a new hallway and it's much wider and well lit unlike thelast one. The hall way has a checkered floor black and white.. red curtains on the windows, everything is fancy. At this time I'm , " you're dreaming, you can do anything, just focus." And i clench my fists and open them quickly on an attempt to make fire, but i fail and make sparks and smoke instead. I try a few more times with the same results.. then i snap my right finger like the human torch from fantastic four, and create fire. I see business people walking around so i decide to have some fun, as i walk past them i snap my fingers and flick some fire balls at them, one guy called me a " douche" i laughed. Once i reached the end of the hallway, the dream ended.

Okay it was me and my friend Keke I think. Not sure. We had these businesses and we decided to team up. Then the neighbors down the road yelled something about their sign being better or something so I went inside to make a sign. I don't think I ever did because the dream switched. I was hanging out with...um... let's call him Eli.
*cough cough* We were all at this beach/playground thing. I had my video camera with me. We were hanging out and stuff and then this person offered some other girl for us to give her a tour. I started to set off but realized that Eli and her wanted to go together without me. So yeah they went off and I was alone. I started looking at the videos. There was one of Eli but he looked a bit younger. Then I started writing in my journal and realized Eli would probably try to read it when he came back. So I looked around and found a fence where I could sit with my back to it so he couldn't see the words. I went over to it and noticed that the sand kind of formed a pitfall/dune thing by it so I couldn't sit there. A group of girls and my friend Caleb came over and checked it out too. I somehow found myself in a hallway at school and sat on a bench and wrote there instead for a bit. Then I saw Eli coming and quickly decided to run for it and avoid him.

My review:
Okay so the business thing was fun. I'm not sure if it was Keke or someone else though. And I REALLY wish I could remember the name we'd come up with because it was cool. As far as hanging out with "Eli" if u haven't noticed he's kind of my crush (IT'S NOT AN OBSESSION!... ...OKAY MAYBE IT IS I DON'T CARE!) and I will never date him in real life because he's out of my league. So just a warning; if you plan on reading my dreams where my subconcious has all the control and I can not help if he's in the dream or not; he's gonna be in this a lot. Heck, maybe if I get bored I'll turn him into a "character" and make him do reviews too. Idk. So yeah long story short I barely ever talk to him, more this year than ever before, and I have no chance with him in this world. Last thing strange about this dream. I was trying to avoid him? Jeez, I know that doesn't work by now! Seriously.

Bye dudes and chicks, sorry you had to live through my teenage dreams (QUOTE! )