Recent DJ Posts

I made a video game! Again!

This game was the third entry in a shooter game series. The first two weren't made by me, but a third was in development and became vaporware. So I decided to make it from scratch, sort of unofficially.

It was the first game in the series to be in 3D. Interestingly, everything was made out of cardboard. The maps were outside areas, but they were inside a cardboard box with a skybox painted on it. The floor was painted green and the skybox various shades of blue and white. The weapons and enemies, the houses and the trees, everything was painted cardboard cutouts. And it was like a video game, but at the same time, the player is physically next to the box, as if he controls the character like a puppet.

I let my friend play the game. The first few maps were simple. He was having fun shooting up enemies in the destructible cardboard terrain.
But then there was the third map, which was very peculiar. It seemed to be a completely empty area without an exit at all. I giggled as my friend was stumped, looking around and trying to figure this out.

Eventually he found out the solution to the puzzle. He put his hand inside the play area, poked a hole in the floor, and tore it to shreds. The exit was located under the ground. I laughed my ass off and clapped my hands because he found it.

Morning of November 23, 2017. Thursday.



I am living with my wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we are now at our present address. However, many threads of my conscious self identity become reduced over time until the waking transition. I leave our house, apparently to get something from a store, but end up walking south which soon ambiguously becomes north as my association is mixed with Wisconsin (where I have not lived since February 1994). It seems to be nighttime.

Over time, I am not sure where I am going but I continue to walk along the side of the road. I notice snow on the side of the road. My dream self does not consider how this area looks nothing like the area we live in real life. The fact that I do not know at all what is ahead does not bother me.

I remain as far from the middle of the road as possible as a few cars pass now and then. I consider that I am walking in an area where pedestrians are not allowed, though there is no sign indicating such. Soon, the snow banks on each side of the road are higher.

Eventually, I see an older couple in a station wagon. They are going in the opposite direction I am, down the side of the mountain, which is not that steep in this section. The unknown older lady asks me if the roads are clear for cars in the direction I had been walking from. I tell her that the roads are okay to drive through, as I had walked a considerable distance.

Following a curve in the road, which is now seemingly one lane and easterly, I eventually end up walking through a square tunnel. A thin layer of ice covers the walls. One car goes by me during this time, going in the opposite direction. By following the road, I somehow end up inside a business building. I stealthily walk through, noticing three people talking in one office. I view this through an indoor window. There are other offices on each side of a hallway. I am puzzled as to how to get back to the road, as I had just been on it prior to illogically finding myself here.

I enter a large room which seems like a public restaurant with round wooden tables sparsely arranged. An unknown male approaches me with a large flat piece of cardboard shaped like a person, painted over to represent a chubby male in informal clothes, and with eye holes to look through the face. The face is not that realistic and has a mustache. The piece has red vinyl straps connected (possibly by tacks) around the two-dimensional upper arms to hold it over my shoulders and upper arms, though my arms can still move freely. I am to wear it over the front of my body, though its legs are too long by at least a foot and bend out in front of me when I wear it, horizontally dragging and remaining against the floor. The other male is puzzled, though I do not tell him that I am not involved in whatever is going on. Instead, I say, “I am the stand-in”, and he seems to understand.

I am to dance with another male who is not in such an odd cardboard cutout “costume”. He is unknown and sitting at a table with a few other people, mostly female. He is wearing a cowboy outfit with a fancy hat. Curiously, he also has some sort of red straps attached to his shoulders for no discernible reason.

I start dancing on my own and my moves and balance feel perfect. The other people are seemingly amazed by how well I am moving (especially considering the odd cardboard “costume” covering the front of my body). I dance and feel a sense of well-being for several minutes. It seems I will be filmed as part of test footage until the real actors or performers show up. However, I eventually do not feel like being a part of this scenario anymore, mainly due to not being confident about either waltz moves (where I visualize hands shoulder to shoulder and the other arms out horizontally with hands clasped, towards the direction of movement) or dancing with a male (who reminds me vaguely of Burt Reynolds at about sixty), and deliberately leave the dream state with very clear intent even though I had not been lucid at any point, yet with the knowledge I had deliberately created much of my dream from the beginning. This has happened often throughout my life. It is a type of non-lucid dream control.

---

Factors like non-lucid dream control (creating or influencing the dream without realizing it is a dream, typically not even remembering what a dream is) and literal prescience (with too much detail to be coincidence, including finding and marrying my beautiful literal dream girl) cannot be explained at all by what the majority seem to believe and experience. What part of the mind or extent of threads of conscious self identity and ephemeral synthesized fictional dream self viewpoints or combinations thereof account for this? How does one wake themselves so easily and intentionally from a dream without actively knowing it is a dream up to that very point? (This is not the same as knowing it is a dream and deliberately waking.) These concepts of course, are only part of the great puzzle of my life.

---