All DJ Entries

I stood in the loungeroom counting my fingers. "1, 2, 3...4 ...5... i think? 1, 2, 3.. gah this is hard! Wait - what if i'm dreaming?" my inner monologue rattled off

I nose RC, whoa! I am! I stabilise, grabbing the wall and rubbing my hands all over it, feeling the orange peel paint texture under my hands. I look around at the loungeroom, trying to understand what's off about it. I immediately notice the books, piles of them stacked to the roof of a plethora of colours. It was messy, but kind of artistic and pretty, in a sense. I walked over to the window and looked out at the sunshine, focussing on my hearing, something I'd never done before in a lucid. I noticed the chirping of birds outside, coming in through the front door. I put my awareness into the sense of touch, and felt the weight of the clothes on my body.

I turn around and walk out into the kitchen, observing how realistic this dream is - I didn't have a hint of my usual top-heavy feeling, I was very stable and anchored to my dream body. I looked at the counter and saw a glass, it was somewhat dirty but I figured I'd use it anyway. Instead of picking it up, I simply made another one appear in my hand. I thought about opening the fridge to get a drink when I realised - Why bother?

I focused my intent on a drink, and found my glass half full with red, bubbly creaming soda. I took a sip - it tasted great! I thought for a moment, I should focus on my sense of taste! I increased my awareness to my mouth and changed the flavour, it became an incredibly strong, creamy malt flavour! Damn! I put the glass down and pondered what to do. I looked out into the back room and saw some sort of boxes, it wasn't my usual back room. I walked out to take a closer look, and the dream faded almost instantly.

I woke up, and went to write in my DJ. I took it out into the family room, it was day time. I open it up and put it down on a table. It was one of my old ones, with all sorts of ruled margins and drawings of strange monsters in it. The handwriting was really fancy. "Wow I wrote so much neater when I was younger." I struggled to find a spot to start writing my dreams, and kept flipping pages - until I woke up. Should have RC'd as I woke, to avoid the false awakening.

Throughout this dream I was in a very different state of mind - my consciousness and thoughts felt as though they were those of myself, but from 4-5 years ago, when I was first into LDing. This matches the dream journal that I recognised as my old one, though it was a false memory. I had another couple of dreams after this where I felt the same way, but they have since shifted back to normal

*These will be grouped together, as I do not wish to flood and update them separately, and as several of them are fragments.

Age 5, August:

I was in the apartment I shared with my elder sister(whom adopted me after our mothers death and my fathers abandonment). I knew it was late at night, and dark outside, but someone had covered our window with a childs drawing of a bright, sunny day. My dream self knew that the picture was fake, but my sister (I will refer to her as mom from here on out, as thats what I call her) did not seem to realize the picture was false, and continuously insisted that I go outside and play. She became so insistent that my dream-child-self could no longer resist, and so, full of suspicion, I left the house. Upon seeing that it was indeed dark and late, I turned to bang on the door, but she did not answer. I desperately looked through the window, my terror mounting, and saw that she was sitting and watching TV. I screamed, called out to her, and pounded on the door, but she could not hear me. In real life, she would have been able to hear me, and the fact that she couldn't scared me even more. I began to wander around. I was in the alley-way between apartment complexes, and the night was unnaturally dark; I could see the buildings clearly, but it was as though someone had colored all else with charcoal. I began to wander towards the main street, and as I did so, yellow eyes came towards me from the darkness, and I felt the panther pass me. I knew it was a panther because they're black, and all I could see were the eyes, so obviously it was blending in to the night.
I finally came upon the street, where one yellow street light illuminated the dumpster and a row of parked cars. By the dumpster was a zombie and a robot (at that age, I had no idea what a zombie or robot was. I wasn't allowed to watch anything beyond G, my TV was moderated, and the only thing the computer was good for was MS Paint. I went to a nice little all-white preppy-school, and I was actually the MOST cultured of my classmates, who were stupid enough not to know what the Fox and the Hound was. I recognize the monsters as a zombie and robot, NOW, but I am at a loss for how I knew what they might look like, THEN). I was terrified of the zombie and robot, even though I had a sense that they were not threatening. Called to my terror, a witch came down from the sky on her broom and swooped me away to her home, where she puttered about in the kitchen while I sat uncomfortably in the dining room. She continued to say how grateful I should be for her rescuing me, and how lucky I was, but I was quite uneasy. When she finished in the kitchen she brought out a sheet of cookies, and I KNEW that they were blood-cookies, and that she was evil and the zombie and robot actually good. I stole her broom and ran outside as she followed, screeching, and jumped off the cliff, managing to make the broom work inches before I hit the ground.
I came home, and finally found my way in, only to see my mom on her exercise bike. I tried to tell her what had happened to me, but she again couldn't hear me. As I began to scream at her, a T-Rex burst through the window. My mom didn't notice it, and then it roared and I woke up--somehow sensing that the roar was a sound both in real life and the dream. Turns out my mom was snoring REALLY loudly on the couch.

Age 8, December:
I was at the YMCA, my daycare, late at night. Everyone else was there as well, but it was far past the time when the daycare closed. My friend Chrystal was showing me her haircut (In fact, two days after this dream, Chrystal got a haircut and I had deja vu when she showed it to me) at one of those fold-down white tables with the long, attached benches. She had cut her hair VERY short. I was admiring it when I great bright light illuminated the windows behind Chrystal, and her and I jumped under the table, knowing it was aliens. (Yes, by this age I knew what those were, although the only form they ever took in my imagination was green, pointy chin, big head, and big black eyes. No antenna though) The aliens were soon chasing us through a LARGE McDonalds play-place suddenly inside the YMCA gym, only it was larger than the gym, and it was terrifying. Then at one point the aliens chasing us turned into Jesus, and I thought 'oh, he's supposed to be cool, we should go to him', before I thought 'it's a trick!' and continued to run away. Chrystal ran to Jesus for help, and he turned back into the alien and ate her, whereas I had continued running, and made it to a safe point. (ALSO, I wasn't allowed to have or play or watch people play video games until I was 13. And, while my larger family identified as Christian, my mom never forced any kind of religion on me, or had any views on the subject, herself, so Jesus was kinda a vague concept I was rather suspicious of) So basically, this dream baffles me by basic rights of 'where the hell did I get this'.


Unknown Ages, Reoccurring: I continuously had dreams where I KNEW that, if I ran fast enough, I would run right off the ground and into the air, and be able to fly. I would have to keep my legs running, in order to keep myself up, but I could do it, and I did do it, quite frequently. The only other flying dreams I had besides these were back before I was 7, I would be able to sit on my blankey and it could fly me around.

Note: I have nightmares very infrequently, and after having two in a row when I was 7, I taught myself how to go back and 'erase' them, by imagining that my dreams were in a file-system in a computer, and that if I took the nightmares and 'deleted' them, they would no longer bother me. To this day, I still use this system in order to 'delete' nightmares immediately after I have them, so that while I can remember the nightmare, I don't remember the fear or pain, and can thus go immediately back to sleep, and not have the nightmare reoccur.

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Dream 1 : Needy Old Lady
Not waking lucid but dream lucid, I could remember past dreaming experiences and fully knew it was a dream.

I was on the road behind my childhood home just walking along. I was not lucid but I knew this was a dream. I say some other people ever now and again. Towards the end of the road there was a young guy who looked something like a young Bob Saget, tall, lanky, very skinny, black hair combed over, he was flanked by an old woman who seemed to be annoying to him. She kept talking at him as if she wanted him to say something or understand her motives. I walked besides them. Then she saw a sitting area on the corner of the block where about 20 people were sitting in a circle waiting for something. I had seen this here before in the dream world, it was like an outdoor deck but this was round, on the corner of the homes property near the street and had seating benches in that circle for 2 levels of seats, with a railing around its perimeter. Strange but not too much, still I am not sure exactly the meaning of it or what it is supposed to do. People always sit in it like they are expecting something to happen. The annoying old lady saw it and abruptly broke away from her “victim” almost bumping into me. I stopped short and she turned to me and said “excuse me.”
I saw her sit down up there and exhale like she was finally resting after much stress. “I am finished with life!” she said leaving me to believe that she was between lives instead of being a dreamer. “Freeing isn’t it?” I said, “Yes” she replied with a smile. I walked on up the bigger road to see what else was around. After a few seconds I felt her presence behind me, and to my left, and when I looked she was in the appearance of a Halloween rubber skeleton! I’ve seen stranger appearances but I had to roll my eyes at this one, this was a little weird. The old lady was blathering on about some inane trivial nonsense obviously trying to have my attention. I didn’t give it to her and just kept walking and looking ahead.
She started to feel my legs like they were unnatural to her and my back and stomach a bit (These were all her height as a little skeleton woman). “Oh you’re so real!” she said as if expecting something unreal. “I am real” I said with conviction.
Then the way she was talking changed a bit and when I looked back she was now a little pig woman, with the body of a pig but the face of a woman but with the snub nose. This had to be something she had perfected in her own time, it takes a bit of thinking and manipulations of feelings to get something like this to work. She was saying something about needing help so I picked her up. She sat up in my hand saying something, then I thought that her butt in on my palm, and though this is a dream, it is still disgusting. I shifted her to both hands in front of me so I could toss her out in front of me giving her a bit of a head start. I got a feel of her though and she didn’t feel like a pig instead she had an icky type of old-lady-skin where it is very thin and slips a lot right under the skin, almost how chicken skins slide around on the wet meat after being cooked. This creeped me out so I put her down almost tripping over her. The scenery turned into a home like setting, a long home where we could walk around it like one of those homes that are museums. She was still chattering away as we walked by people to each side of us who looked to be dressed in clothes from the 1700’s. She started to ask why I wasn’t attracted to her. Exasperated I said “I can’t have a relationship with a pig.” She protested a bit with some squealing.
Then she changed into a cow-lady! Now she had a fake cow body like if you were wearing a cow costume, but only knee high to me, and her face was her full woman face with white cow coloring. So she was a tiny fake cow woman. I turned and looked at her and said “Udderly ridiculous” Then I motioned like “get it?”, she was not amused, I walked on. Then she talked about some things she had done to help people as if I would like her for these things she’s done, but by now I was beyond pretenses and was on to have as much fun out of this as I could, so in mock adoration I said, “That’s moo-tastic.” She just stood there exasperated as I walked off and hoped she would not follow. I watched a woman ironing with a hot flat iron in her 1700’s era kitchen as I walked away.

Dream 2: Airport
Still dream-lucid

I was in an airport parking lot and while looking for something interesting to see came to a 18 wheeler being loaded by 3 young adults. I gave it a look and walked in. They paid me no attention. I came to the back of the truck where boxes were piled high, bored and a bit angry at this place, I laid down on the trucks floor. If they thought I worked there maybe someone would get angry and give the place some life! A young woman who held herself like she was in some kind of charge of this work asked the guy in there looking at his clipboard about me “Is this guy working?” “Yea he’s working” the guy said surprising me a bit but I decided to play along for a bit. I got up and followed her to the pile of boxes in the middle of the trucks trailer that had to be sorted “They have to have the info down” she said refereeing to the mailing address info on the boxes. She turned to go back into the truck more and tell me something but I realized this was my chance to freak her out, I could wake up, pulling myself out of the dream area with no apparent way to have left. I willed my real eyes open and could still see her portly self in her red hoody as an after image.

In case you're wondering why I'm able to post these so fast, I've already been keeping track of freaky dreams on microsoft word. So all I have to do is copy paste. Simple right?

I am a child, probably about six again. I am outside in a blizzard making a snowman with my older brother Erik. It is snowing so hard I can’t see anything around me except whiteness. We are laughing and giggling. Just as I plop the carrot on the snowman’s face, I hear a giant bell gong. “That’s daddy!” I say to Erik. We run off into the whiteness, giggling.
Soon we arrive at our house. It is a little ranch style house on the banks of lake Superior. There are no other houses around, it is complete emptiness save the lake, which is so large it looks like an ocean. If you peer across the lake enough, you can make out the little town across from us in Canada. (This is impossible to do in real life.) The snow lets up a bit, and my brother and I stand at the lakes edge and look into the flickering golden lights. Then, the bell rings again. We run to our house and open the front door, which leads directly into a staircase. We climb the stairs, and soon we are on the roof. On top of the roof are hundreds of reindeer, along with our dad, who is herding them. “There you are, kids!” he says. “I need you to check on the nodes in sector 41.” He herds the reindeers using loud “hyah’s”. We salute him in unison and jump down off the roof, which has suddenly become two feet high. We land in a trench, and walk until we are underneath the reindeer. They are standing on top of a metal grate above our heads. I look around until I find what I am looking for: a bunch of electrical wires mixed together in a cow feeding trench against a wall that has just appeared where we came in. We run to the trench and start pulling the wires apart and attatching them to different wires. Our dad calls to us from above our heads. “Hurry up guys, these reindeer need electricity!” We giggle and snap the wires together, which turns on a row of lights on the top of the cow feeder. I high five my brother and we run outside.
We run to the edge of the lake and look out across it. The waves are rough and crashing on the shore. And there is something floating in the distance way over in Canada….I jump in the lake and swim out to see what it is. As I get closer and closer, I can see it is a large mass of red floating across the water. As I look left and right, I can see it stretches out as far as I can see both ways. Suddenly, the red mass is upon me. I scream. It is thousands upon thousands of dead floating penguins in bloody water. I cover my eyes with my hands and bawl as I float along with this bloody mass.
Soon I reach a bridge. The waves are strong like rapids under the bridge. As I float under it crying the penguins splash against the sides of the water. I wash up on shore, and fall asleep on the snowy beach, covered in penguin blood and guts.

Those poor penguins..... I think this one was a fever dream. Pretty sure.

NO I am not making this up. I think I was having weird dreams at the time cuz I just got my molars out and was on narcs, not to mention the disgusting taste of packing in my mouth was wigging me out. But that's just an assumption. Honestly I couldn't really tell you the exact reason for having such a weird dream.

I am a child, about 6 years old. I am running through a dark forest. The only lights are the magical blue glowing mushrooms, and a magical blue light with wings, which I am chasing. "This way" it says, "follow me!" I chase it, laughing into a clearing, and then the light disappears. I stand in the middle of the clearing, looking around for the light. Everything is pitch black except for a small circle of light around me from the full moon above me. I suddenly feel a deep loneliness in the pit of my stomach. Then, a demonic scream is heard. A jet stream of black wind shoots through my heart, screaming evilly. It shoots through me so hard I am propelled backwards. The black wind turns into a dark demonic hand, and grabs a hold of my beating heart. It rips it out of my chest. I fall to the ground, bleeding, a gaping hole in my chest.
I lie on my back, wheezing, blood gushing from my mouth and the hole where my heart used to be. The circle of light from the moon that was around me is fading, becoming smaller, dimmer. Then, a dark figure approaches. It stands over me, and I know it is a demon. Its teeth are sharp and pointy, its eyes yellow and with pinpoint pupils. It cackles and holds my heart in my hand. "No," I whimper, "it’s my heart. Give it back. Give me back my heart....." "Oh," the demon says, "is this what you want?" It holds out my heart, for me to take. But I am dying, bleeding to death on the ground, gasping for air. I can’t move. He cackles again. "Well, here you go. Here is your heart." he places it in my left hand, which is open. I gently grasp my heart, but I can’t move my arm to place it back in my body. He laughs evilly, turns into the black wind again, and leaves. I am left lying there, fading away.
Suddenly a doctor who looks like a real life version of Doctor Mario runs up from the same direction the demon left. "My god, look at this poor, poor child!" he says. He is carrying a medical kit, and as soon as he comes upon me he kneels down and sets his kit next to him. "Why, it looks like your heart has been ripped out," he says, "now if only we could find it.”Here, here it is," I try to say, "here is my heart, in my hand, my left hand..." but my words are too faint, and jumbled together. To me they sound like I am a two year old with marbles in my mouth. To the doctor I sound like I am not even speaking, my voice is lost in the wind blowing through the leaves. He shrugs after gazing around the clearing looking for my heart. "No matter. I have everything I need here." he opens his medical kit and inside is about 10 beating hearts, neatly stored in containers like a tackle box.
He rummages through the box and picks out a large heart. "Ah, this should do the trick! elephant heart!" he puts it inside me. My breathing becomes slow and heavy. I can feel the heart beating very slowly inside me. It is beating so strongly I can feel it pounding against my shattered ribcage. I wheeze as I breathe in and out. "Noooooo…" as my lungs fill with air, "Noooooo…" as the air is forced out. "Noooot.....riiiiight....heaaaarttt.....noooooo... .." the doctor can see he has chosen the wrong heart. "Well that’s not right at’ tall!" he says in a newly acquired English accent. He pulls out the elephant heart and rummages through his box again. He pulls out a small, rapidly beating heart. "Now this, I am sure, will definitely do the trick! Rabbit heart!" he inserts the rabbit heart into my heart cavity. Instantly I can feel the rapid beating. It’s too fast, I can’t breathe. I gasp for breath but the heart is beating too fast, with each beat the intensity of the beat increases, and my chest puffs up. Suddenly it explodes. Blood splatters everywhere including on the doctor’s face. Then, darkness.
I am floating along a river. I open my eyes, and see red. I am in a clear liquid, floating along, with giant red blood cells floating along with me. The walls are pink and squishy, and it smells and tastes like death. I can hear the loud sound of a pulsating heart. I know that I am in my own bloodstream. I laugh, and float along the blood river until I stop at a long, dark set of stairs.
I climb down the stairs, and suddenly I am in my basement at my old house in Marquette, Michigan, the town I was born in. It is empty, and the corners are darkened by shadows. The walls are pink and squishy, as I still am in my own bloodstream. There is a man sitting in the middle of the room, working on something. I walk up, and see it is my mom’s second husband Steve. He is concentrated on doing surgery to a cardboard box with little red blood cells in it. "What are you doing?" I ask. "I'm performing surgery, sill Aub-Berry! Remember I have sickle cell anemia?" he asks. "Yes, I do. Can I help?" he points to a hallway that has suddenly appeared on the wall to my right. "Go down that hallway, and catch me some of your red blood cells. Hurry!"
I giggle and run down the hallway, which quickly turns into a lightless maze. I chase after the giant red blood cells, and tackle them to the floor, but when I do they disappear. Soon I see a light at the end of the maze. I go towards the light, and when I enter the room, I see my dad sitting in his blue easy chair watching TV in the unfinished basement of our current house. I smile and run up to him and climb in his lap, curl up, and fall asleep.


Thats my dream. Don't laugh or accuse me of just being very imaginative. Because I know for sure I would never be able to make this stuff up.

April 1, 2003:

First I have a dream I'm a 40 yr old policeman taking my nephew (or was it my son?) out with me because he wants to see what cops do on the job... it seemed safe, I was just doing highway patrol. I pull this car over after some difficulty... the coast seems clear enough. Then the guy jumps out of the car and starts making a run for it... my nephew gets out of the car, to find out what's going on, and the guy shoots him twice. Then he shoots me.

Then I had a dream about a basilisk... I got some eggs, I knew what they were and was hoping they didn't hatch... but one started hatching, so I ran away. The basilisk followed me and it was pissed that I'd abandoned it. So I had to take care of it. Unfortunately, I couldn't look directly AT it or I'd die, so I had to carry it around in my hand and not look toward my left- EVER.

Then I had some other dream. I don't remember it very well... except that I was little again, and going to all of these old places from all of my childhood memories, except now all of them were located in one neighborhood and it was a short walk from place to place. I ran into an old coach who seemed to remember me very well, but I didn't really remember him. I asked if I'd played baseball for his team... he said no, he'd been my old martial arts teacher. We walked outside through the neighborhood for a while. Then he showed me some sparring techniques.