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    1. Ersatz Confirmation

      by , 07-15-2011 at 04:17 AM (Sailing the Noosphere)
      I'm going through what I feel is the Catholic ceremony of Confirmation at my old high school, but it is nothing like the actual event. Instead, each candidate and his or her sponsor walks together to the altar, where the sponsor presents a large wooden cross to the candidate. A preparatory sacrament of communion is also performed with great importance. The line to do the ceremony snakes around and out of the chapel proper, up and down a flight of stairs. I'm behind my old high school classmate K.C., who is complaining about the wait. The line doesn't move for some time, then suddenly lurches forward. My mom and brother are in the pews watching me; I let other classmates like J.V. go ahead so I can talk with my family. I notice that my brother's head is in a microwave, which does strike me as odd. I then loop through the line, debating whether I'll get communion or not. I get my wooden cross from college professor Dr. R., then end up getting the host from my own mom and feel guilty about it. Apparently she also feels guilty, varying the usual formula with "I don't believe this is the body of Christ."