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I can only recall bits and pieces from this dream, I wish I could remember more. I was in Sequim, WA at my family's cabin. I invited several friends up with me, without informing my parents. It did not seem to be too much of an issue, though the place got fairly messy. One of the friends I invited was Meow Meow, with whom I held several intimate and engaging conversations. I felt a strong attraction to her. At a certain point, I decided to climb this gigantic tower that appeared in a nature reserve right in front of the cabin. It was very similar to the broadcasting tower in the 2022 film Fall. I managed to get the top, but as I reached the final ascension, my hands were badly cut or maybe bruised from the climb. I also became completely fatigued and was unable to summon the energy or will power to climb back down. I was stuck up there. The tower started swaying back and forth, and it became clear it would soon fall. I think I woke up before this happened.

This was not the first time I dreamt of Meow Meow. I sense a strong connection to her, but it could all very well just be in my head. She also became known as "The Girl who cried Celestial Body." I welcome her presence in my dreams, but also grow concerned at my budding fascination with her. Perhaps her existence, as it relates to me specifically, will be strictly reserved for my dreaming life.

There was a shoot out happening in the parking lot and as I was ducking for cover. I see a woman with a shotgun and was not facing my direction. So I tackle her and through trying to get the shotgun out of her hands I became lucid. I got up and started seeing the dream setting begin to change. I told myself I should begin to explore. As I did so I ran into one of my former co-workers from the past and he explained to me about how he is trying to get promoted.

I told him I think out of all of them he could do it and we had a long conversation about how. At some point during this conversation, I had lost lucidity.

I'm in a sparse one-room cabin high up on a hill. The hill is steep and covered with green.

Then, I'm sitting about halfway up the tiered seating (this is also very steep), in the middle of a lecture theatre, listening to a lecture. I can't remember what it was about now but I felt moved and I remember discussing it with the man sitting next to me. I thought he was in the anime club and I remembered that I'm in that club.

When the lecture ends, I head to the anime club room. It comes is off a high-up hallway, seeming to float over the hillside, bridging two towers together. The sky is dark now and it's pretty dim and shadowy up there. I am the first one to arrive. There's a smallish room with three long tables and benches, and an even smaller one through a door at the back of it which is either an office or a cloakroom.

Two women arrive, one blonde and one brown-haired. They sit down and, unusually forward for me, I ask the brunette (she's closer): ' Hi, What's your name?'. She tells me, it's a pretty normal one, and asks enthusiastically what my subjects are. I tell her that I'm studying Italian, French and Latin!

Then she goes into the back room and I slide along the bench to be opposite the blonde girl. I ask her name. "Don't laugh," she says, "My name is Tickdick." I'm slightly incredulous and she explains its meaning to me.

More people come in. I look around the room and now apart from the women I spoke to I see several men all in the same pale blue waistcoat. I remember thinking that I didn't expect there to be so many men in this club.

Later, after everyone has left and the room has grown even darker, my friend (IRL) comes in and we talk.

She speaks about how many girls in the school (including her) are now in lesbian relationships after failed relationships with non-binary people. They weren't sure about their sexualities when they previously said they were bi. I say something about this and she mentions that others in the school used to talk about me a lot, years back, when she was LGBT and I was the only one who supported her. I ask in interest what they said about me but I can't remember her answer.

She gets up and says she wants to go out to the field to see the olive saplings. I think that's it, at least. We leave the room and head down the hill to a bright, sunny green field nestled among the hills. There are rows of olive saplings on the hillside and rows of smaller plants below. We spend a while admiring them.

A farmer lad arrives, to take care of the field. We chat to him awhile. He needs to break down all the plants as it will help them grow. My friend protests a little but we watch him sweep his arm along the rows, breaking the stalks in two. He collects the broken tops. My friend tells him to leave those, at least -they'll dissolve into the soil and help the plants grow. He agrees and scatters them about.

Once he leaves I notice three birds glide out of a tree. They are positioned as if sitting upright with their wings folded to their backs, looking ahead. They still move forward steadily in the air. I point out to my friend how weird this is and we both stare at the birds in confusion, continuing to talk. Finally, high above the trees, I see the birds open their wings and begin flying faster, beating the air. "Of course!" I say. "They glide first, then they flap their wings to stay up!"

Another waking dream of the same type as yesterday. Talking to someone I couldn't see right as I was on the cusp of waking up. Feeling my bed, and seeing my bedroom, but still continuing the conversation. As my logical faculties slowly kicked in as I transitioned to full waking state, I briefly feared I was going schizophrenic.

Well my recall has been terrible for the past... 2 weeks? I just got back from 5 days in New York and was hoping for some good dreams there since I had a hotel room all to myself. But alas, nothing. Perhaps shifting my sleep schedule had a bigger effect than I thought since on the first night back I already got a non-lucid AND a lucid dream (isn't that exciting!). The lucid will follow in my next entry.

In a church, I'm singing in choir. The spacious room has Victorian dark wood panelling about half the height of the wall and the double doors (also panelled) are rectangular, rather than the portal shape I would expect. They are set in a heavy moulded stone doorway. The masonry is all white, but the church is brick on the outside. I see several items of old gothic furniture, including an elaborately carved wooden lectern. I head to the exit and see papers, leaflets, posters pinned on a door and piled on chairs by the entrance. A man is standing with a profound expression next to a stand of green leaflets by the open door, and I think that he will sing if I ask him to. I go out.

I walk back with another girl in choir. I ask if she is going back to 'choir boot camp' with me on Monday and she affirms that she is. We talk more, laughing a lot - though she doesn't remind me of anybody. I ponder how the camp lasts 6 school days (although it might be 7 considering the timeline in my head) and I can't believe the headmistress let me miss that much school.

Later I arrive at home with a Japanese woman, older. I see a black cat on my doorstep and point it out to her. She seems to look right through it for several seconds before noticing. I feel annoyed because 'she always does that'. So I try saying 'there's a cat ' in Japanese to better attract her attention. This causes her to freak out - she screams and grabs me roughly (seriously - it hurt!) by the shoulders, telling me not to 'say there is a kitten' or I will scare her. I think that she misunderstood me, and now she thinks there is a kitten under the nearest car.

Fragment: I pick up one of my dresses and find that on one side, the fabric has ripped all along the zip and hangs open. This dress doesn't actually have a zip. I am distraught since I only recently discovered a rip in my other favourite dress (this is true) and now I can't wear either of these until they're fixed.

See how it took me more than a week to post this? I'm getting lazy... Too lazy... Too lazy to dream journal. Which isn't great. But finally I'm getting back on track and practicing awareness more during the day, so hopefully some results soon.

Fragment: I am inside a certain (named) church with some family, looking at some old coloured maps of it. The interior reminds me of a regency building from a period drama, the walls are freshly painted white and I can see in the corner of my eye an antique-style sofa with green upholstery. The exterior is like a Greek temple with columns (the front at least) - which actually looks a lot like said church in real life. Which is surprising since I have never been there. I look back at my sister and it seems we are both wearing regency dresses. Looking out from the entrance at the side of the porch, the church is surrounded by green fields as far as the eye can see. They look like they've never been weeded or mown, the grass is growing up tall and I see many clovers popping up amid the grass. The field is dewy and a light mist obscures the view further out. The weather is fresh and chill, and we are leaving.
Maybe this is because I watched Sense and Sensibility recently?

Dream (this is also quite vague and fragmented):
I am inside the school common room. The space feels much more enclosed and cosy than it is in real life. It feels warm and welcoming. I am sitting working on something when I get up and go outside. Outside the school is a wide grassy field, much like the one described above - except there are trees here, too.

There is a high wooden table standing on the grass where two of my friends sit on tall chairs. One is a real friend of mine but the other I don't know - a dark-skinned boy with dark straight hair. They are talking over (I think) her current sewing project, and I mention that I do some sewing, too. We show each other some photos of our work and talk for a while longer.

After some time I begin to feel like I'm being called - there's somewhere else I need to be. Then I remember - I've got to go now. I take my phone and rush away from my friends but leave my bag behind on my seat.

Next thing I remember, I'm boarding a plane, though I only remember seeing it from the inside. The plane is very long. The low light level compounded with the grey-black carpet, upholstery and even walls make the interior extremely dim. I hurry past rows of seats (all facing to the front of the plane) until I reach in the middle of the plane two rows of fold-up seats facing one another. All the rows behind are also facing the front of the plane - only these two are strange.

A music teacher is standing in the aisle telling some other students where to sit. She mentions my stranger friend (who is not with me) and says there is room for him, too, pointing to where I am standing in the backwards row. Then she tells me to sit down. I hurriedly fold down the seat nearest the aisle and sit, clutching the edges of the seat for balance - since there are neither armrests nor seatbelt. I feel uneasy. My friend hasn't arrived yet and the plane is about to take off. Then a real-life memory comes through: I remember that my phone has only 30%, it won't last long and I've forgotten my bag and portable charger. Frantically I tell the teacher about my bag, but she turns away and ignores me. I jump up and am about to turn and run out of the plane to get my things. But...

I glance to the side and am shocked to see trees rushing past the window, blurred. The plane is already racing through the field and I didn't feel a thing. It tilts up, about to take off.

Went to bed at 11:14 PM; began lucid attempt at 11:37 PM. Lucid FAILED and woke at 6:20 AM.

4th September 2021

Fragment:

I'm with my family and my god mother's family. We're in some kind of hall, but it looks like a bigger version of my childhood bedroom, at least in layout. It also feels partly church-like. There's an on-going conversation about money, savings and debts. It's established that our family has less savings but also potentially much fewer debts to pay.

Then some discussion just between me and my siblings. We head outside and it's sunny, low angle, maybe misty.

(maybe earlier in the dream, disjointed) Some bit about needing the deuterium power cell to be replaced for the auxiliary power system of a flats building, maybe where aunt B lives. The deuterium radioisotope generators is in a small outbuilding that's fallen into disrepair, in the shadow of the apartment building. There's a presumably lead-lined window that gives a peek inside. There's a cyan-blue glow inside. I worry on some level about being exposed to radiation.

(disjointed, part of a living dream memory of sorts) I'm at a place like a mall or the cinema in a mall, reminds me of the one near home. Black or very dark walls? Dark flooring. There's something about WoW. (the false memory feels like it's part of my teen years but being relived)

Some other bit later on. A church place again? There's a coffin I think. Something about a corpse is important. I fight with someone, a frail-looking but kind of mad (insane) person?

---

Notes:

- Even almost twenty days after having first written this dream, my visual recall was notably better than I was expecting.

- In the dream and on initial recall I didn't think of it, but the cyan-blue glow chamber with the radioisotope cell somehow now reminds me of that dream I had with the lizard and the blue energy core. Very similar glow. Additionally, this small chamber was notably much darker than it should have been.

- Most of the dream involved warm colours apart from that glow.

30th June 2021

Woken up by postman. Some in-line notes.

Fragment:

(going from end to start, kind of) I am with mom, she's taking me on a ride, on some kind of bicycle but it's really long, like ten yards long or something. She's asking me what I think of an alien race on a film that (in the dream) I had apparently watched. I am not too interested in the topic and feel that she is being oddly too insistent about it. (wake up at about this point)

The whole time, I don't have a good hold of the bike thing and am concerned I might fall off but I persist in trying to stay on. (realistically I could have walked just as fast or faster) The rear end I'm at comes off from the seat area in the front, it looks a bit like one of those streamline cars' side skirts, sort of half-sectioned or something, difficult to explain. I'm holding on to it in a hunched and semi-crouched position. I have my regular clothes on as far as I can tell, wearing my normal boots. My boots make it feel very difficult to keep my feet inside the gap in the panelling.

I have passing thoughts about how mom is being able to pedal this thing with me on it too and where I'm at a leverage point that should make climbing this bit quite difficult. We're climbing up on the small hill that leads to the newer roundabout, which used to be the P exit. We're on the cobbled pavement.

A bit earlier, me, T and mom are walking in A, at the roundabout before the other we eventually ride up to. It's morning, sort of sunny but not. The surroundings seem different to how they should be in waking life but I'm not certain in what way. We get to a car and T unlocks it. He gets in and starts the car, it's some old car, maybe like a Mini or an older VW or something. We say something and then me and mom walk across to a pavement on the right, where those small houses should be.

Soon I become aware of the car's engine being turned back off again, though I don't look. I think something to myself about it, but can't recall what. At this point I'm talking to mom about teachers and smoking. (probably intrusions from recent thoughts on both as concepts) She says you can't really get away from it (smoking) completely in that environment. We talk about teachers' pay and how it varies a lot and isn't quite adequate. Then when we are across and have walked along for a bit, that's where the weird bike thing is and when we get on it.

Scraps:

Some earlier dream sequence but recall slipped too much. Something like a game with T. We have guns and are expecting a massive encounter against NPCs or something inside a large building, but then nothing happens. There are flood lights and there's a cold ambience, despite the lights seeming warm in terms of glare. Some teens appeared and I think we hid or something, waiting to hear what they might say.

---

Notes:

- In bed, and before bed, I thought about lucid dreaming for a while and thought about wanting to do something with art or drawing while lucid.
-- Also had thoughts based on the Dreamgates book reading, about how I have never felt completely comfortable with any name (even ones I've made for myself) and so I wondered what kind of names dream characters might give me.

- Last night I started feeling really dizzy and just "slow" after midnight, not sure why. Wasn't able to do anything other than lie down and read a small bit.

- Mom's appearance in this dream is no doubt related to her recent episode. On some level, any family appearance really ought to be enough for me to question reality, but it never is. She was half normal, half not, as hinted by the feeling I got off odd insistence, a behaviour I've only seen a bit of but am familiar with.

27th March 2021

Scraps:

(recalled after I sat at my desk)

I am at my computer. I'm checking on Steam or some other similar program and in there I see that AH messages me saying that I "was right, it was a joke", which she then starts to explain in more detail. I feel a mix of anger and mistrust but also relief.

A possible false awakening where my alarm was going off and playing music; but something about the music didn't seem right each time. The environment looked accurate to waking life but foolishly I didn't think to do any types of checks, as I felt quite sleepy.

Notes:
- While in bed last night, had another dialogue with Data as I was falling asleep. This time I could use my own voice and not the captain's. But Data seemed unable to communicate very clearly this time. We talked about dream signs and my inability to either notice them or have them appear, lately, as well as how I have been doing some RCs too routinely sometimes.

- When I recalled the fragment about the conversation with AH, some of the dream feelings described were temporarily present. I proceeded to check that this conversation hadn't actually happened and really was just from a dream.

- Although the environment looked accurate while I was hearing the alarm, I also recall it seemed brighter than it should have done for that time of the morning. I've had dreams where the environment looked so accurate that it was easily acceptable for them to be waking life locations/situations.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


I am sitting at a table at some coffee shop and a couple tables to my side appears my teacher. I wave and smile timidly and he waves back with a smile to. I then think I have to sit with him, so I ask him if I can sit and he says yes. We look like a couple of teenagers in love. I wanna hold his hands but I wait for a sign. He then asks me how I am doing and wants to know details of what I have been doing. I update him on my work. Then other students of his spot us and join the table. They get in the way of our conversation and I feel like he is losing interest, but then he asks me about the box. At first I have no idea what he is talking about but then kind of recall some girl contacting me about a project of a small box with a few essential food and drink items to distribute in some specific humanitarian occasion. I tell him I offered my help for the project but it didn't go forward due to some cost related problems.

20th November 2020

Fragment:

In a place like a restaurant or something. Someone was talking to me and they were telling me how "mussels are the tastiest thing there is" or something. I remember thinking of, or seeing some clams and thinking that besides the meat within, there would be pearls of value or something.

---

Notes:

- I remembered this fragment much later in the day while in a church. A stained glass I was looking towards for a while had pearls as a small detail in places and this triggered some vague visual recall of the dream.

- I remember after the dream and also after recalling this fragment, I did feel some sort of craving for the food in question; there was some sort of taste in the dream, it was meaty but I can't recall any more detail than that. I have never found this type food appealing before, but I have been curious about it, having possibly thought about it again recently.
-- My family, and most people where I'm from, do enjoy this type of food, but I have never wanted to taste it. Part of me thinks it can't be that different from snails and so I wonder now about similarities.

- It's possible that in the dream I thought about the pearls being a metaphor of some sort; when the recall came to me, this was my first feeling about them. I don't remember the pearls visually. Later on in the day I had disassociated thoughts about how it might be possible to modify the clams to create different pearls, or objects.

- Can't recall my reaction to being told that mussels are supposedly so tasty.

17th November 2020

Fragment:

(Lost most of recall I woke up early in the morning because I was too hot, around 6am?, unknown)

Raid groups or something like them? There were some dream characters that were kind of like combat medics. This didn't make me RC even though it should have been a prominent cue to do so. I think it did raise my level of dream awareness but not enough. I remember specifically noticing that these dream characters were glitching visually, their limbs clipped through their clothing in weird ways, as poorly animated models might do.

Fragment:

Something with C from school and T. There was a general context around the old home.

---

18th November 2020

Fragment:

I was talking via Steam to Sh from the PTFG. It didn't quite sound like him though. He was asking me how I was and we discussed something about my well-being at length; the conversation was heavily focused on me but mostly because he kept asking questions in that direction.

---

Notes (for 18th only):

- Last night I spend some time speaking with F from BL and we caught up a bit and he was asking me how we'd been.

- Dream recall had vanished by the time I got up from bed and when the recall first came through, I mistook it for a real memory, taking me a couple of minutes to go through it and realising it was simply vague recall of a dream.

- I slept poorly last night and the last few days have been very difficult for me, physically. I have also been feeling completely demotivated from my creative activity.

- Last night I continued reading the book from the LD Book Club and I had been thinking about the four-step process for dream-work. After my initial recall of this dream this morning, I have been considering trying them on this, since it's a fairly short dream and seemingly quite specifically directed towards how I've been feeling.

- All I can visually recall from the dream is the chat window and Sh's icon.
-- Typing the above note, I have just realised that my abbreviation for the person in the chat has a secondary and much more specific significance to me.

15th November 2020

Fragment:

A vast and somewhat empty place apart from some abstract platforms as I recall. There was a "sky" made up of pastel colours, light oranges, pinks and blues.

There was a demon queen, or something. She looked mostly humanoid and had purple skin? She wore some ornaments or accessories like gold bangles and chains but apart from that she must have been almost naked. She was bigger than me but not a lot bigger. Thought I suspected so, I asked her midway through some conversation if we were in an alternate dimension, to which she answered yes.

The demon queen and I were on one side of... a table? Not sure. And opposite from us were two other people, maybe a couple. The queen was able to alter or modify certain traits with some species like humans and elves, but not dwarves. But these two other people looked human even though one was supposedly an elf and the other a dwarf. So I asked her, what if they have a child together, could that child be altered in the same ways?

(recall gap)

Vague recall of an office-like place, either from the inside or the outside.

---

Notes:

- My last journaled dream featured mystical aspects like demons, but the setting and context were entirely different. The theme here was of a more medieval/fantastic aspect, by comparison.

- Unfortunately, I couldn't retain recall very well with this dream so I've completely lost any details that would be left of the other characters and the dream location.

- The demon queen as a dream character had some aspects relating to my own personal interests in transmutation and transformation. The purple skin may have seemed random when I first recorded the dream but in retrospect that element is present in some characters I've created and is a colour I generally like, although her skin's hue was a bit brighter/lighter.
-- "Queen" was an implied intuitive feeling about the character, not something that was mentioned or explained literally.

- There was a feel of "sunset" to this dream and there were no changes in light while in the platform dimension.

18th October 2020

Dream:

In my home town. Remember going up to some hilly areas that don't quite exist. A gravelled area by the main roundabout in town too.

Then I'm with H and we go into this little house with a frosted glass door. But it also looks a bit shop-like inside. There's a fridge or something and we just start taking food from several places in here, this fridge included and putting all the food into bags (backpacks? refuse bags? not sure anymore). I think it's day time but in here it's mainly artificial light, daylight is only noticeable on the street outside. As I look to the glass door I see the silhouettes of an adult and a child and the door opens. It's the owner, I immediately realise.

He gets upset because we're apparently robbing him. But because this is a shop, I do immediately tell him that we will pay for everything we are taking. But he doesn't care and says he'll call and report us to the police. I make some kind of snide remark (about it being pointless?).

But then I end up trying to convince him more gently that we didn't mean to cause trouble or distress. He still doesn't care and refutes every single thing I try to say. Eventually he tells us he's 18. I feel some surprise at this, as I thought he looked much older than that (mid 30s/40s), especially since he had a son with him. But suddenly I understand why he'd been refuting everything; I remember and have a feeling of how I was at that age.

Eventually, we leave through the back of the house I think. I've forgotten whatever else had happened in the conversation, unfortunately.

Fragment:

Not sure where exactly, in a flat area in a town. Surfaced or paved. Meeting up with some kids, they tell me how they defeated a legion of monsters, or orcs? Something about the kids didn't feel human, exactly, but I'm not sure why or how.

---

Notes:

- I think H was mostly passive in the first dream.

30th July 2020

Dream: (DFLN thread) ^{(self-memo: be sure to re-read Sageous comment and my own reply)}

Was at some therapist's office. Looked to be a typical rented office space. I went in and saw a doctor "Hodstatdr Lester" ^{(note, this is my original spelling in the original entry)}, he insisted gently that I call him Lester.

He was a well-built man, with a mostly round head (bald?) and with a deep voice. He wore glasses.

We sat opposite each other on identical chairs. Lightly stained pine frames with blue textile cushions (deep blue?).

He began by asking me what he could help me with and by saying remarking something about whether or not it would be worth our time, mutually.

I talked for a little bit, I don't have a recall of the specifics but then I said I had two unresolved phobias. He seemed to nod compliantly and asked me to go on. I remember thinking about what I wanted to say, and then saying it, an unusual process for me during conversation.

"Well, one of my phobias is what's on your shirt." I said
"Pockets?" He said with a look of surprise.
"No" I replied, making a motion with my index running along my sternum.
"Ah, you mean buttons" He replied.

I interrupted with "Yes" because I had(have) an aversion to even saying the word at times.

"Well, you have a [unintelligible prefix]-phobia" He then stated.

I also had in mind that I wanted to talk about another unresolved phobia. But oddly enough I couldn't remember what it was (and still can't).

In any case, I said that this phobia name sounded familiar, and just as we were about to start discussing it, I woke up.

Original notes:

- While I felt like I could trust him, hesitantly, this feeling was mostly further compromised by the fact that the chairs were oriented in a way that made him be slightly my left and I to his right. This could have been corrected easily when I sat down, by simply turning the chair in a different angle.
- In addition, the room was large. 6x6 mtrs or so at a guess. But apart from our chairs it was a completely empty office. The floor was carpeted?
- Finally, there were two windows. One behind and left of the therapist (from my pov) and another one out of sight in the far right corner of the room. It was day time and so the two windows were the only light sources.

Scraps:

Mentalist dream, something about young children getting their fingers stamped with hot seals? This was part of some imagined thoughts at some point.

Something about being in my old home's kitchen, the light was on. Absence of light and darkness from outside. Odd. Mom and T were in the kitchen? Something about cooking, and then a bat flew in and mom notified us, after I'd already spotted it. It was light brown in colour, caramel coloured even.

One of the very first dreams? Was in a tank in some place near a warehouse and I was shooting civilians with tank shells, because they were being uncooperative somehow. I remember troops on foot scattering from a rear formation to take control of the civilians and the immediate area.