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November 21, 2011

Synopsis: A hospital clinic is just behind my closet door, and its headed by pure evil

Note: Im sure the dream is a metaphor I can't figure out!

Closet Clinic
Dad wants me to take him to small hospital clinic. For some reason I know this clinic because I'm there everyday - even though I'm neither a patient or a doctor. I drive him over and take him to the back entrance, I've spent hours roaming the hospital so I knew where all the doctor rooms were.

"You can just go in that room and a doctor will eventually show up"

But he thought it was weird to just sneak into a hospital like that. So we walked all through the hospital just to make it to the front lobby where he can wait his turn properly. Now I know my relationship to the hospital. I tell dad, "I'll be nearby. My bed is just over there."

The hospital clinic is just right through my closet door!

I left dad alone and relaxed in my room. Laying down on my bed, I stared at the eerie glow emanating from the closet door. Now and then I'd open the door to check on dad. The door was like a portal and opened up to any part of the clinic I wanted to see.

But apparently I was seeing too much. I started to get a sense that someone didn't like how easily I can spy and intrude on the hospital clinic. A male presence. Angry.

I asked a few of the nurses if they had felt this presence. They come in my bedroom to talk in secret and they tell me about the head of the hospital, an evil man. Some even went as far as to say he was the devil.

I hoped that dad was okay and that some twisted experiment wasn't being performed on him!

Suddenly my closet door swings open on its own. Its facing down a long hallway, at the end of the hallway was a room - black and red. I can see the tall lean figure sitting on the other end.

If it wasn't for the dream being a bit foggy, this scene would have been totally ape shit freaky. Thankfully, thanks to foggy-dream-ness, it was just weird.

The nurses warn me! "He's coming for you!"

Shit! I gotta get out of here! I slam the closet door. What to do? What to do? I jump out my window and try to fly away. He chases after me and uses dark magical attacks. I dispel each one with my left hand. "You can't hurt me!"

But I was completely stuck. The dream environment was a square. The landscape had walls. The sky had a ceiling. I retreated back to my bedroom as his prisoner. He told me I could never leave, and then went back to his duties at the hospital.

Well, I just can't stay here.

I try again. I fly out my window and this time I really focus on exiting this landscape. There's a posted sign, its not really sign. I don't remember words or pictures or anything. But there was a sign, and somehow the sign let me know that just past it was a peaceful heavenly realm free of evil. Great! I look for a small entrance and squeeze my way through.

When they said heavenly I was expecting something a little more - I dunno - colorful?

The heavenly realm was bleak. Imagine cardboard boxes stacked to look like buildings. Still the people were nice and warmly greeted me. They told me more about this place

"Here, all your thoughts manifest. Go ahead and try it"

There was this weird device in front of me, so I tried rearranging its configuration. I imagined the buttons would follow where ever my fingers moved. The buttons moved so fluidly it was awesome. I started playing with my environment more.

A girl was using her imagination to color the cardboard buildings, now covered in linen.

"Whats with these ugly buildings anyways?"

"Well they used to be oh so colorful, but then we got tired of all the colors so we toned the place down a bit. But I think we can try introducing color again slowly"

BANG.....BANG.....

Something is trying to break through the barrier of the heavenly realm. "Its him! He's come for me!"

BANG.......BANG......

"Seal it up!"

Already two magic doors appeared - and they were unlocked. Everyone races to the doors and seal it with prayers written on paper, like in anime. We sealed the doors but he still broke in. I was ready to stand up to him, and so were my new friends. But I woke up at that point.

I am in a three storey house made in the Victorian architexture style. The outer facade is large grey stones and the interior is all wood. I do not recognize the house from anything I have seen in waking life but I know that I am in modern times because the furniture and appliances are modern and there are two cars parked outside in front of the house.

It is dark outside and I go outside to look at the cars. One is my family's old 1986 Volkwagen Westfalia and the other is my dad's previous car, a dark blue minivan. I don't know where I am but it seems to be a rural town or something. I have a horrible feeling when I go outside and feel like there are many "dark things" watching me. I run back into the house where it is warn and lighted and where I feel safe.

Back in the house I find a young man sitting in the living room in front of the fire. I recognize him as one of my dream characters who shows up rarely but I know him by his black hair and green eyes. We exchange a few words but I cannot remember what we talked about now. I went upstairs to the second floor for some reason, feeling compelled by some invisible force.

I cannot remember any more of this dream.

(Sorry for the length)

I am in a valley that is damp and fog-laden. It looks to me like the highlands of Scotland or something. I appear in this dream as my dream incarnate Kalima (image), but wearing a plain grey Victorian dress and white apron. The hills surrounding the valley are covered in ancient, crumbling castles and decaying ramparts while the valley floor is a huge never ending hedge-maze.

I am desperately lost in the maze and I am in a panic because I can feel not one, but two, dark presences nearby and I can sense that they are hunting me. I run through the maze as fast as I can but because of its enormity and the fact that it never ends I don't really get much farther ahead of the pursuers. I am not try to memorize or mentally map out the hedge maze and just run hoping I will get lucky and either find my way out or find the middle (where I instictively know I will be safe).

No matter how far I run I can still hear the creepy snuffling of my dark pursuers, like they have giant nostils and are sniffing me out. I find myself in a dead end and can hear the sniffing sound of one of the pursuers just on the otherside of the hedge. I know it can smell me because it stops to hover around the other side of the hedge where I am leaning in fright to sniff, before it lets out a terrible high pictched shriek to inform the other dark presence that it has found me and start running through the maze to find the fastest way to get to me.

I am so terrified that I fall to my knees and forward onto my stomach, because my legs have gone numb with fear. This allows me to see the smallest of spaces between one hedge and the ground. It looks as if a small pit was dug by a fox or ground hog or something to get under the hedge. I scramble to deepen the hole as quickly as I can and am able to squeeze through and start running again, long before the two dark pursuers find the dead end I was trapped in. They are much to large to fit through the hole (I'm not sure they even noticed it actually) and have to turn around and find their way back through the maze.

I suddenly feel two things simutaneously. First, a heavy object in the front pocket of my apron, which turns out to be a large cast iron key. The blade of the key is plain but the bow part of it is intricate in detail and had a peice of dark red glass set in the middle of it. Secondly, I feel someone close by who is watching me, but their presence is not threatening, though I cannot see them because they are invisible. The being feels warm and radiates love and kindness and for some reason I believe it is a guardian angel, even though I don't believe in angels in waking life.

The being starts to move through the maze and I am able to follow it by moving in the direction of where I feel the warmest air. After a long while I am led to what looks like another dead end somewhere near the middle of the valley and the warm presence suddenly disappears. I know there is something about this part of the hedge maze that I am supposed to discover but I can only pace back and forth in frustration for a long while because I cannot figure it out and I can hear the snuffling of the two dark pursuers getting closer again.

I pull out the key that appeared in my apron pocket a while ago and assume that I am supposed to find a door, but none can be seen with the naked eye. I feel around inside some of hedge wall where there are little openings in the heavy brush, but all I encounter is thorny branches and after several times I have sore and bleeding fingers. I feel like I have been misled by the thing I thought was a guardian angel, as well as abandoned, and I am angry and frustrated and I remember thinking to myself "this is why I don't believe in angels!"

The blood on my hands makes me think about the dark red glass set into the bow of the key and I look through it like one would a spyglass, mostly out of bordem rather than thinking anything would happen, but as it turned out I could see a glowing red outline of a door at the very end of the dead end, where the hedge appears the thickest. Upon investigation the thick hedge is even thornier and more difficult to get my hand through than the ones before, but I can feel a metal door on the other side.

I fumble around with the key, trying to find the lock, all the while the two dark presences are getting closer. So close in fact that I can here them on the other side of the hedge and I start to panic because I cannot find the hole for the key. Almost at the last second the key finally slips into a hole in the door and the door opens, but I have to force by entire body through the thick wall of thorns and it is terribly painful and unpleasant.

I get through and am able to slam the door shut and lock out the pursuers just in time because they were so close that one was able make a swipe at me and catch the end of my grey dress and rip a peice off. The creatures looked like tank sized crosses of a pot-bellied pig and a bulldog. They had rough black skin, large snouts and glowing red eyes. There bodies were covered in scars like they had been badly beaten and tortured. I had been terrified of them the whole time I could not see them but as soon as I caught that short glimpse of their battered and beaten bodies, as I slammed the door shut, I felt kind of sorry for them because they made me think of domestic dogs that become ferocious and violent after being mistreated and abused. I wanted to open the door again and have another look at them, even try to pet them and be nice to them, but I realize just then that when I slammed the door shut I left the key in the lock and since the door has no handle on this side, I was essentially locked in (and unless the pig/dog creatures suddenly grew fingers, they were esentially locked out).

I take a moment to catch my breath and have a look at my surroundings. I am in a large open area that has rows and rows of plots for planting, but the whole garden is dead. The small trees and bushes around the perimeter are barren of leaves and many have broken branches. The few plants, and what looks like stalks, that can be found in the plots are whithered and dried. The grass is brown, the air smells of earthy decay, the few marble staues around the garden are weather worn or crumbling to peices and it looks as if the garden has not been tended to for hundreds of years.

In the center of the dead garden is a a small stone fountain at the base of a huge oak tree. The fountain only contains some dried and decaying leaves from the oak tree that has mighty, thick branches that reach eagerly upwards, but it looks pretty pathetic without its leaves. I feel sad and wish there was something I could do to revive the garden but all I can do is sit on edge of the fountain and sulk.

My eye catches something white sticking out of the ground in a growing plot not far away. At first I though it was just like one of the many dead and dried out flower stalks found throughout the garden but when I get closer I can see that it is actually human finger bones sticking out of the ground, which sends a chill down my spine. Now that I am aware of it, an awful lot of the stalks sticking out of the ground look like skeletal fingers, and I even notice the old sun bleached bone hidden under the bushes and trees.

I suddenly want to leave very badly but don't know how because I've locked myself in the garden when I left the key in the otherside of the door. I briefly think that I will became another skeleton in the garden when I suddenly feel the warm angelic presence nearby again. I follow it to the locked door which suddenly unlocks and swings open. The pigdogs are gone but I am able to retrieve the key. The warm presence complels me to return to the fountain where I suddenly notice a keyhole in the bottom of it. I stick the key in and when I turn it, fresh clean water starts to flow out of the key hole and fill the fountain.

I am all excited and happy and stuff, because I think that the garden will now suddenly recover, but the dream ends there because I wake up.

For many years a particular house has appeared in my dreams. It does not look like any house I know in waking life, yet it looks the same whenever I dream about it, which is approximately every two or three years since childhood. In all dreams previous, the house was full of furniture and appliances and looked as if it has recently been lived in, but empty of people. This dream is slightly different though because, while still abandoned, most of the furniture and appliances were removed, much of the plaster on the walls had been knocked out and the electrical wires, insulation and wooden supports were showing.

The house sits at the bottom of a hill, close to water on a bay on an unnamed lake. The bay is choked with docks and boats and only narrow passages lead to open water. The area around the house is hilly and full of large houses, many of which have wooden stairs and walkways leading down to the dock. My dream house itself consists of three levels and a basement, and a secret staircase and room that connects the first and third floors. The outside is white clapboard and the roof is light grey shingles. Each floor of the house is long and narrow with low ceilings and all of the windows throughout are small and do not let in much light. The first floor consists of the kitchen, living room and a sewing room. The second floor has a large den, a bathroom and two bedrooms. The third floor is an open space, like an attic, and is always a toyroom in the dream. The basement has a bedroom, a bathroom, a large den, a tool room and a laundry room to the rear.


I do not remember the beginning of the dream, or entering the house, but I find myself in the laundry room in the basement, and though it is stripped bare of any living comforts, I immediately recognize the place where I am. Despite just coming to awareness in the basement, I know that I am the only one in the house. Because it is a place I know I only ever see in my dreams, I become lucid. I do not try to force any control over the dream and am content to explore the house because I am curious as to why it seems empty except for the outer walls.

The first thing I notice is that the ceiling seems higher than normal and the windows far out of reach overhead. Actually everything about the laundry room seems oversized. I feel that everything is as a child would see it, though I appear at my current age in the dream. The next thing I notice is that the pipes that once connected to the washer is still pumping out water. The hose from which the water is gushing pours into a bucket on what looks like the burnt out shell of the dryer. The bucket is leaning slightly towards the back wall and is overflowing onto a slanted, beveled concrete trough which directs the water to a drain that carries the water under the house and out to the lake. I also notice at this point that the lights are still on.

I walk into the next room which also seems oversized, though mostly everything but the counters and wooden supports are gone. I walk towards the hall which leads to the den, but the lights are out and I cannot see where the doorway is. I stretch my arm forward and fumble in the dimly lit hall for the light switch but end up almost sticking my finger in an uncovered electrical socket. I eventually find the two switches for the lights for the large den area on the wooded support to my right and flick them on. When I enter the den I look up and it seems that the ceiling is three or four storeys high. It is only when I look towards the eastern wall that I realize why - I can see the secret stairs and room in its entirety. All of the floors up the the third have been completely removed, expect for the secret passage embedded in the eastern wall. There is no indication that there were any floors above, no debris or any indication of demolition whatsoever, except that I recognize the placement of the windows which correspond to the layout of each floor as I remember it.

I can see the ochre coloured furniture in the secret room that has always been there, and except for the wall that usually hides the secret room and stairs being missing, everything else looks the same. The furniture is Victorian era style and there are many black and white photographs pinned to the far wall. There is even the single white candle burning on the small mahogany end table which is the only source of illumination for the narrow, windowless room. I am excited that the secret room is the same, and want to go to it, but the entrance to the lower secret stairs is only accessable by the main floor of the house, which is now missing. I start walking towards the easten wall anyway and trip over a pile of toys and clothing and various household items that I did not see until now. I recognize some of the toys as items that used to be in the toyroom on the third floor and pick up some for a closer look.

I walk over to a black waist high bookcase and find several multicoloured and metallic dinky cars which I recognize from waking life which used to belong to my brother, though in the dream I thought to myself that they belonged to my cousin Keelan. I also found an black and silver flashlight that I used to own years ago and when I switched it on the beam was dim and fading. At the same time an LCD flashlight rolled off of one of the bookshelf ledged and right into my hand. Also at the same time the row of basement lights on the western wall beging to flick on and off seemingly by themselves. I stand up and walk into the middle of the room, trying to see down the north hall in case anyone is there, but I can see no one and both rows of lights on the western and easten wall flicker a few times and go out. It is dark outside so the many windows provide no illumination and it is completely pitch black in the house, save for the small candle in the secret room, though it obviously does not provide much light. I attempt some dream control by saying "lights on" and try to will it to happen, but nothing does. I can hear thumping above me, as if the main floor still exists and someone is walking back and forth across it. I start to feel scared, but the knowledge that I am in a dream does not fade. I also remind myself that I do not believe in ghosts and there really is no reason to be scared because it is only a dream. The thumping continues and though I cannot see anything, I feel the "presence" of something in the hall by the light switches. The terror in me grows, but so does anger and I scream at the invisible presence "TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON RIGHT NOW!"

There is no answer and I stand in the dark for a short time before the terror overwhelms me and I awake in a cold sweat. Or maybe I willed myself awake? I can't remember now.

There is a large three story house on the side of a dark hill (I don't know why the hill was dark, it just was). People are vigorously running from room to room and from floor to floor. I cannot remember why now but it had something to do with music, (like musical chairs except on a house-wide scale or something?) I kept seeing several boys from my past (including a boy I used to call Rob "Pigwater") and some men that I like now, regardless if they are real or fiction. I did not feel really connected to anyone, like they just saw through me and I was just watching from a distance.

Before all of the music and running around started, I begged my parents for my own room, because I had to share one with two people I don't know or like on the third floor. There is a small room on the third floor that is empty and hardly used and I wanted it. When I finally get the room, I do not keep it clean and this leads to a house-wide hide-and-seek or something, though I can no longer remember how.

I tire of the noise and craziness going on inside, and especially of a dark, unidentifiable man who was following me through the house, and I crawl out of the tiny window in my new room and onto the roof. I suddenly realize that I am not in my hometown of London, Ontario and I need to get back there so I can attend my theapy session when the morning comes. It is dark out and there is several hours before the sun will rise, so I am confident that I will make it.

Large, flowing white wings srpout from my back and am excited to have them, but my parents appear in a window and tell me that they don't think I'll make it and that I am wasting my time. I spread my wings and jump from the roof. While I can fly, I have trouble staying at a certain hight. I cannot seem to get above the powerlines, not because of the lines themselves, but because of an invisible force that keeps pushing me down when I try to fly at a certain hight. I am also disoriented at first and have trouble figuring out which way is west.

I try to fly so that no one sees me, but that becomes impossible when the sky begins to lighten as dawn approaches and I have to to ignore anyone who stares or hollers at me. Not long after people start to notice me flying through the air, I sense a sinister force behind me and I am forced to land in a field that has a large hole in it. I dive into the hole hoping to lose my pursuer. There is an extensive underground cave system and I run into Vincent Valentine (from FF7) while trying to navigate it. Vincent attaches something to his belt or penis (I cannot remember which now) and asks for oral sex, saying that it will give him the power to defeat the sinister presence that is chasing me.

Somewhat unsettled, I leave the cave without providing requested service and fly away. The sinister presence seems to be gone for now so I just try to enjoy gliding through the sky and feel the morning chill in the air as the sun begins to rise. Even though I am facing west as I fly, the sun is rising directly infront of me though I think nothing of it in the dream. As the sun rises, I begin to feel heavy. It becomes very difficult to fly without intense concentration on flapping my wings. I can do it, but I also become very disoriented direction wise, and because facing the sun all the time is blinding me.

I see a tall building made of golden coloured glass ahead of me. It has a very gothic, yet modern design. I sense the sinister presence getting close behind me again so I fly to the building and land on a ledge. I try to move around on the glass surface discreately, but only end up drawing more attention to myself. The people on the inside of the building gather and stare at me. Feeling uncomfortable, I fly away from there and continue towards London, though I am forced to look down a lot because the rising sun is directly in my eyes. It is at this point that I suddenly realize that the sun is rising in the wrong place. I know that I am heading in the correct direction but I am perplexed as to why the sun is rising in the west and not the east, like it is supposed to.

I finally reach London but because I am very tired, I can only fly a few metres above the ground. I end up flying underneath a steel bridge that is painted bright red, trying to avoid pedestrians and cars. Somehow I have aquired a red hardhat, though it is conveinient because I kept bumping my head on the bottom of the steel bridge.

I do not make it to the hospital for my therapy session because I am suddenly back in Toronto laying on the bed in my new room. I am trying to explain to my dad that I am going to attend my session through astral projection and I will write everything down when I return to my body, or something.