• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. Day Four: Intensive Journaling (BUST)

      by , 02-17-2018 at 06:28 AM (An Insomniac's Dream Journal)
      Fell asleep at: 10:30

      Woke up at: 7:20

      Dream 01: More Flashing Images

      Nothing particularly interesting happened last night. I went to bed really mentally exhausted, mostly because of all the homework I had to do, and just plopped myself into my bed.

      I think I remember being in a sterile, white lab with maybe one or two doctors, but that's really stretching it. All I can remember is the color white.

      Also, from now on I am going to be numbering my dreams. Even if they're fragments or flashing images, they will still count towards the dream total.

      Updated 02-17-2018 at 10:10 AM by 93490

      dream fragment , non-lucid
    2. Doctors

      by , 01-16-2018 at 01:18 AM
      I was in a hospital for whatever reason, I don't know, but the whole hospital staff had distortion of the face. Some didn't have a face, some had glitches, some had the face upside down, some didn't have features to make up the face, some had no eyes lips ect, some was blurred like TV. I got so freaked out that I was moving around. My hart was beating out of my chest and when they got closer to me there faces would distort even more freaking me out more. I woke up panicking and I had never had one like it before.
    3. Bits: Malfoy's RPG Dice Save the Day, Attacked by Gorilla, See Doctor at Bus Stop, MR Ducks routine

      by , 08-23-2017 at 03:15 PM
      A collection of fragments I can't remember in enough detail to get their own topic, but with some interesting parts I don't want to just forget.


      07-23-2017 -- Again, a bit of a shorter one. Another Harry Potter dream, taking place in a sort of a cross between a school, and a mall, I think. Something evil is pursuing us, and we're trying to find a way to defend and protect ourselves, and Hermione has come up with some sort of gadget that can help keep us safe, but it needs to be made with a fairly good-sized gem. Malfoy has been trying to become a better person, though he is still a bit annoying, but Hermione is telling him about the new devices to help keep us safe, anyway. When she mentions needing the gems to make them, he pulls out a bag with his D&D dice, and it turns out a couple of the larger dice were lost, and he had replaced them with large, multi-faceted gemstones, so he is able to give her a couple more to make more of the things. There was a lot more to this, originally, but it was very hard to remember, and faded especially quickly.


      07-25-2017 -- Can't remember all that much of this, but I am Harry Potter, and am on some kind of camping trip in the woods, and am trying to sleep in a sort of a camp bed, but I find that I am in some kind of a tree, and there is a big, violent gorilla who is trying to reach me and attack me. I am trying to stay out of his way, but he is fast, agile, and can climb well. I keep trying to get out of his reach, and he eventually does something that launches us both off the side of a cliff. He falls to his death, or at least serious injury, while I somehow manage to save myself with some sort of hover charm or something, then am explaining the whole situation to Tonks while listening to old music. Strange.


      08-19-2017 -- Anything earlier is gone. Waiting for a bus near Knott's Berry Farm. Kind of flirting with a girl who might, just might, be Amy F. And accidentally catch my phone between my body and something solid, and manage to more or less snap it in half, longways, and I am really disgusted with myself about it. Meanwhile, somebody sick has come along, and has their doctor along with them, and is giving them a check-up at the bus stop, and I had heard something about this and tried to make arrangements, so the doctor is willing to see me and prescribe something for my HBP, and in the aftermath of that, I manage to miss two buses by being in just the wrong place at the wrong time.

      Flash forward, and it is now a week later. I am out traveling with mom, and we are at the same bus stop, and I am hoping to see the doctor again, but I don't know if he travels this route weekly or only once a month or what. A doctor is passing through, but it turns out he is not here to do medicine, but just on a walk or something. Then 'my' doctor comes through and he is checking on me briefly, and I decide I want to tell him the conversation that looks like gibberish, until you know the secret. MR Ducks, MR Nott, OSAR CM Wangs? OILB MR Ducks. {'Em are ducks. 'Em are not. Oh yes they are ... see 'em wings? Oh I'll be ... 'em are ducks.) But he wanders off for a minute and before he can get back, the bus comes (on the wrong side of the street.) I catch it and go one stop, then decide to go off since the Doctor still hasn't come back yet, but as I get off I don't see mom and don't know if she got off, so I get back on the bus, and find her standing by the bus driver, talking to him, so I guess I am missing the doctor.

      The next thing I know, I've gotten off the bus somewhere else. There is no sign of mom, and I think I am having a short conversation with Sheila Smith, which has her commenting something on how she can likely answer a few questions, and I say sure, as long as they aren't on the subject of, say, Muslim dating rituals or something, and she seems hesitant, and I am considering making a statement about how I thought it was Anne who was the cast member with a Muslim history (something from another dream that wasn't written down, nor anything except that one bit remembered) as she walks into the Peter Marshall cafeteria for a rehearsal, and I wait to catch another bus. Weird.
    4. 3/2/2016

      by , 02-03-2016 at 08:03 AM
      Back for another try at Lucid Dreaming, so time to do some dream journaling again...

      It's taken me a few nights to be able to remember anything at all, at last I can recall some details of last nights dreams.

      I'm with someone else, doing some sort of pre-hospital medical care, but my medical bag is old and there's not much in it. I'm at my second casualty and he needs an IV drip. I get a line in but all the fluids and connectors have been used before but I have to use something so I find a bag half full of fluids - it's saline so I connect it and flush it through, there's a lot of air in the system because nothing fits, then I realise it's an odd hypotonic saline solution and stop it flowing. It's a mess.

      It's the weekend and I'm at work, I can't remember too much I'm sat at a desk and a paramedic walks in and apologises for not doing too much work he was busy with something personal, I say it's ok it's not very busy anyway, I'm writing something, and we decide it's time for a break. There are several other doctor's also having a break, we talk about what are the best consulting rooms to work in.

      I'm seeing patients and I decide one man needs a hole cutting into his chest, so we draw a template together. The hole is quite big, next thing we are out somewhere checking if the hole on the template is big enough, and there are several soft toys we have to make sure it's big enough for them to fit through. Then I'm getting ready to make the hole and I realise that it's way too big and it's right over the heart, and I start questioning why I'm making a big hole in someone's chest.
    5. Leaving Daryl Behind (3.8.14)

      by , 08-03-2014 at 12:31 AM (CHiLLEN's Dream Journal)

      I'm with Daryl and we're playing cricket near my primary schools crossing is. I hit the ball which rolls down the road. Daryl chases the ball but the ball is too quick. I tell him not to worry about it and that I would chase it. He stops midway to allow me to fetch the ball. I run after the ball.
      Auntie Riter is now with us at the crossing. Auntie and I leave and walk over to the doctors which is 10-15 metres away. I sit down in one room and Auntie in the other. There's around 10 people waiting to be seen. I see that the TV is turned on and has something interesting on while people wait. The chairs are really comfortable (most aren't where I live). Even the lady behind me is talking about them being comfortable. The lady starts rocking back and forth, making my chair do the same thing. I find it a pleasant feeling and think about pretending to put a coin in the side of my chair as a joke to keep going if she stopped. I see some darker skinned people around me and we're all being extremely friendly to one another. There's an announcement in the doctors saying that if you don't have anything overly serious that you won't be seen today [i think it was getting late and closing soon]. It now feels like I've been sitting down for a few mins since the announcement but I lost track of time, it's as if I was day dreaming for that period. As i come to, I see there's some nurses that have come out to ask what's wrong with the remaining people sitting. The nurses seem really friendly and they're saying bye to some people. One of the nurses says bye. We both kiss one another on the cheek.

      Auntie and I leave the doctors. She doesn't seem too happy about how they treated the not as sick people, by sending them home. I see that Daryl is sitting on the grass near the crossing. He's looking miserable and bored.

      Im now walking through a town then into a shopping complex. I walk passed a shopping centre which has TV's that people can watch at the entry. Myself and some other people walking passed get drawn into watching the singer that's on the TV.

      I walk into a store and look around. I realise I have something in my hand and think it may be best if I ask for one of their store bags so they don't have to check my items as I leave. I line up and asks for a bag. The checkout lady jokingly says no you can't have a bag. I joke back and pretend to be upset that I can't have a bag. I help myself to a bag. The darker skinned people from earlier are behind me and I smile and act friendly towards one another. They're quite full on in their personalities. Even know I was comfortable and friendly towards the people, I still felt a little uneasy about them.

      As I leave the shop I see my Uncle Bryce. He asks me a question about where a store is. I point him in the direction of where I just came from, which was 10 metres from where I am sitting. He is kinda confused while looking in the direction which I gave him. He repeats again where he's wanting to go which is Aldi. I get up and open a door which is near us and point into the distance at the Aldi store, which is 1 or so km's away.

      I can now see the deploy screen of a game I play regularly (battlefield 4) which has commentary of someone explaining how to know if you're dreaming while playing the game. I'm quite intrigued by what he's about to say as I tend to have a few dreams about this video game. It starts to feel as if I've been engulfed inside the game and inside a helicopter which is not under my control, but that of the man commenting. It's now in 3rd person and I see the helicopter shooting down attack boats. I can even see the crosshairs on the screen also. We seem to be getting chased by enemy's. The air crafts don't look normal and have a kind of a stealth bomber look to them. Our helicopter drops bombs that can kill pursuing enemies in their paths. The first attempt fails, so we speed up and try again in case we were too close the previous time. We fly into what looks like a underground car park and can see one of those stealth bombers parked up. It looks a strange colour as we approach it. We either fly or roll over it as we pass.

      Side Notes:

      Training myself to stay still and remember my dreams as my alarm goes off. Had trouble first few nights as the alarm needed to be closer to me. I put it on my opposite pillow and if worked a charm. I was awakening without moving a muscle and thinking about my dreams. Too bad a fell asleep a lot during the process, need to be a bit more aware. May need to tweak alarm volume to find that perfect volume to not wake me up too much or too little.
    6. Bordeaux, the sense of taste, breaking down, cable systems, and building a swamp on a spaceship

      by , 11-21-2013 at 11:17 PM

      Fragments involving a man with a hook for a hand, giving him a hand and taking his hook myself; a witch who was trying to force the hook-man to sleep so that she could somehow influence him in a dream; a prince and his army who arrived on this scene, with no knowledge of anything going on between the witch and the hook-man; and a man with some form of mental connection to the witch, his sister.

      A man visiting his wife's family with her, the first time since they were married. The father-in-law's distant and judgmental. He's saying, "You'll have to understand, we only drink old French wines here - Bordeaux," that being where the mother-in-law's from. Inside, the mother-in-law is a tiny woman with long, thick grey hair, very warm and expressive. She asks her son-in-law how his meditation practice is going, and asks if he's getting by okay in New York - which he loves, but she doesn't understand how anyone could enjoy living in cities. She says, "You've been in that city for about a hundred years, but you seem to have left in a good mood." He finds her energy overwhelming.

      In a small restaurant, the baker's brought out samples of new doughnuts for everyone to try, I had two, one with a peach filling, the other blueberry, and I was surprised by the taste of the 'blueberry' - it reminds me of pixie stix and sweet tarts and similar childhood candies, not in the sense of being sugary, it's more the type of flavoring those candies use. I comment on it, and someone at the next table asks what this lump in theirs is. I look and point out to them that it's a blueberry. They've never seen a blueberry before?

      While walking across a field, I'm explaining to someone what juice is. I wind up having to describe it as crushing something until its external protection breaks down and its liquid insides run out, and I'm trying to figure out how to make it very, very clear to the creature I'm talking to that this is something that should be done only to plants.

      As Rumpelstiltskin, I'm in a dream world, talking to an image of Regina that is breaking down and melting after being attacked by someone else, and I'm saying, "This isn't you." Allowing herself to show weakness, I mean. I say it again, then reconsider - it's possible this is one side of her, or even how I think of her. There had been a young girl with her, and now I take the girl by the hand and lead her away, ignoring the image of Regina that's still falling apart.

      Someone's telling me they need me to act as a detective. I cut them off, saying, "What, I'm supposed to magically figure out where the dying guy came from?" But I do find some form of trail, scratches on the floor, leading to what seemed like a wall but which must have some kind of opening.

      Vampires. I brought two humans to see a friend of mine, I wasn't intending to kill them, and I'm a little annoyed at my friend, but I'm not making any effort to stop him either. He's saying to the humans that he hasn't decided yet whether to kill them or turn them. His fangs dig into his own lip, and he spits blood on the human he's got pinned down, which has a sort of acidic effect. I, the dreamer rather than the character, observe that it's much like the way flies break down their food.

      I've been working on a system of cables to allow transportation around an island. It's something two guys had been using on a very small scale on their own property, and I've been working with them to expand it to cover the entire island. I'm mostly doing this to help out a woman I'm in love with who lives in a very remote area, but it's going to benefit everyone on the island. Now I'm looking at the initial stage that's about ready for a test run, and feeling proud, when a troop of soldiers with wings descends out of the sky. Their leader - who I've met before, in a friendlier setting - arrests me on suspicion of killing the king, among others. This is a setup - I know who the actual killer is, and I came to this island in the first place to hunt that person. I'm blaming myself for getting distracted with this side project; if I'd focused solely on my mission, maybe he wouldn't have had time to frame me.


      There's a room on a spaceship that's being converted into a sort of swamp. This alien species needed this certain type of room for some cultural reason to do with the sharing of emotions, and so we set it up for him. One of the other aliens, from a different species, says that if humans turn out to be understanding and reasonable, s/he's going to be very disappointed. I say nah, don't worry, no matter how many understanding and reasonable humans you meet, you can always count on a few of us to mess things up, every time.

      A group of vampire hunters. A man leading things over the phone; someone who is either a doctor, a former doctor, or simply someone who steals meds from hospitals, refusing to be hurried by the hunters around him; a recording of a man interacting with someone who doesn't show up on video, with viewers arguing that it's definitely faked.

      Updated 11-21-2013 at 11:40 PM by 64691

    7. The Devil and Underhill

      by , 11-11-2013 at 02:39 AM
      A psychiatrist talking to another doctor about music and musicians, saying this is the type of personality that in these days uses hypnosis to tell themselves "this is my fanciful, flighty dream, that no one lets die." In other words: treating a wild dream as a practical career path, and being convinced to abandon a dream, are both viewed as mistakes.

      There's a group of women in a small village, they all wear black and cover their hair, and a while ago they summoned up the Devil. Now he can't leave until a certain thing happens - he's trying to cause that thing to happen, the women are trying to prevent it. The women are talking about another, younger woman, who's either new in the village or has been away, and so isn't aware that this thing must be prevented.

      The scene changes to show that Devil, who's been posing as a human man in that village, and at the moment is trying to get home without being caught by the sun and without being seen by his wife, who believes him to be human. He gets out of the building he'd been in by crawling down the side of the wall head first, and sneaks into his own home through the kitchen window, just before his wife enters the room. She finds him there casually drinking a glass of wine, and he mocks her for some supposed addiction problem of hers.

      Someone's playing a waltz, I'm looking at LaCroix dancing with a blonde woman. I don't know him (I'm not playing Nick's role this time, though I'm not myself either), but something about seeing him gives me the sense that I'm seeing a path not taken. As I'm watching him and the woman he's dancing with, I become aware that this is Underhill, and a dream; and possibly those are synonyms. (This wasn't lucid at all - the character I was at the time was thinking of this scene as his own dream, not mine.)
    8. I Face Doctor Who's Silence ... sort of

      by , 09-29-2012 at 04:40 AM
      Mid December 2011 -- [This is one of the most involved, interesting dreams I have ever had. At the time I dreamed this, I didn't even want to post it for fear of somebody else stealing the idea ... but I have since had to admit to myself that it is too close to and too inspired by the Doctor Who enemy 'The Silence' that I couldn't really do anything with it, anyway. Just time to share and enjoy, and never mind other possible uses.]

      I wake in a bed, and I have no idea where I am, or how I got here. I am just starting to turn a bit in the bed and .... I wake in a bed, and I have no idea where I am, or how I got here, I just .... I wake in my bed, and start to try and get up. Everything feels really weird, and stuff seems to kind of blend together. I can very slightly remember that I seem to keep waking up, and yet I don't. Odd. I stumble outside, and I am very nervous. I just feel like everyone is out to get me, very, very paranoid. I am on Alandale, just walking. Suddenly I am in the middle of a sprinkler. It has been running for a while and I am soaked, but I didn't walk into it ... did I? I look at the sprinkler, and there are weird time dilation effects going on. The water seems to almost freeze in place, drops moving incredibly slowly through the air, then they just jump several inches in an instant. My head hurts.

      There are some people here that are trying to help me out from under the sprinkler, but there are others who just seem to be trying to distract me. Somebody is driving like an idiot, almost hitting people, but then he's just suddenly not there. It's really starting to feel like somebody is messing with my memory, but ....

      I wake in a bed in a hospital. I have no idea where I am or what has been going on, except in the very back of my mind, I have almost this bare memory of what seems like a dream, involving waking or not waking and sprinklers and .... For some reason I trust nobody and nothing, and it all seems so strange. I'm very paranoid. For some reason my hospital room looks extremely like my mom and dad's room from the Hickory house, except there seems to be a chair upholstered in in blue velvet that doesn't belong there. I start to run through the house, knowing something is chasing me.

      I wake in a hospital. I have no idea where I am or what is going on, except these strange, dream-like memories, this headache, and this sense that everybody is out to get me. I start to try and run through the hospital, except there are tables or walls where I could swear there should be doors and things. Rooms that I could remember having certain types of equipment or uses are being used for completely different uses, and are filled with different equipment. It is incredibly disorienting.

      I am being chased by doctors with needles, and I know they don't mean well, whatever they claim. All the things that have changed, they are just trying to fool me, make me question my own mind, buy into whatever it is they are trying to do to me. I slam into a door that they thought was locked, and burst into what appears to be a large garden-like area (actually it seems to be the Moran back yard, but in the dream, it isn't.) Men and dogs come chasing out of the hospital after me.

      Something about the chemicals they have been pumping into me, and the way I have managed to mostly fight off the effects of them scares the dogs a little, which causes them to hang back just enough that I am able to climb over the first of the fences and start to make a bit of a get-away. I find myself right by a tiny harbor, where a small ship is just setting out to sea, and I quickly clamber on board and start to relax, just a tiny bit.

      Moment by moment, the ship is changing into an army-style truck (the kind soldiers are transported in, almost like a truck version of a covered wagon?) and soon we are being attacked by another, similar truck. There are men climbing on the sides of our truck trying to get to us, and I am trying to keep myself ready to fight, but I keep finding myself trying to fall asleep, and suddenly jerking awake.

      One time I jerk awake, I find myself in a large warehouse-like building with a bunch of others, surrounded by a lot of toughs who look much like pirates. None of us has any idea where we are, or how we got here, except I have these vague memories that are getting stronger by the moment. Suddenly we're surrounded by what appear to be historic Red Coats. There's a big fight, and I am knocked to the ground, then several others fall on top of me. Everybody seems to assume something has gone horribly wrong and I am left for dead. One Red Coat finds I am alive, and is about to call for others, when suddenly he is attacked.

      I sneak into a darker part of the warehouse where the fighting hasn't spread, and I am skulking around, hiding in the dark. I'm kind of half-watching myself from outside myself, as I climb some fencing and find a sort of 'cage' filled with more valuable equipment. I climb on top of it, and curl up for a little nap. Somehow as I start to wake up, I have completely lost myself, and I have to kind of look around this huge warehouse until I spot myself. I shake myself awake, and glance around. I spot an exit which a couple of people are carrying supplies in and out of, and it is pretty close.

      I pick up a large crate of some sort and just walk out the door, and everybody assumes I belong. I find myself in a sort of a stable yard. I set the crate down near a gate, and just keep walking, out of this weird, historical setting, and into the modern world.
    9. Sadistic Intentions

      by , 08-07-2012 at 01:30 AM
      I was visiting a hospital ( not as a patient, just visiting), and I was walking through the halls and this doctor (at least, I assumed he was) was torturing the patients there. I witnessed as this guy whose arm as hanging off by just a little bit of skin got beat repeatedly with his own arm
    10. Second Child

      by , 06-04-2011 at 09:29 PM
      I was laying in a hospital bed. Took me a minute to realize that I was in labor. I was kind of freaking out and T was standing beside me as we were waiting on the Doctor M. I told T that I didn't understand, because I hadn't been to a check up in quite a few months, not to mention, we hadn't even had an ultrasound. We didn't know what it was going to be. He said we hadn't been in because we ran out of insurance. =/

      I mentioned to T that I didn't think I was in labor just yet, and that we should wait. Then I realized that my lower back had been aching all day, and said maybe it was going to happen soon. Then doctor came in and delivered my baby. It was a boy. I don't even remember it happening, but I saw him laying in a crib next to my son, W. I didn't even notice that I hadn't named him yet.

      The doctor gave me the bill which was so ridiculously high, it was about 1500. Probably more than that IWL. I was upset about it and was trying to figure out how to get some deductions. There was a nurse and my doctor standing in the hall and smoking cigarettes. =/

      Can't remember anymore than that.
    11. Scattered

      , 05-25-2011 at 02:36 AM (Les Rêves)
      Scattered Dreams, recall has already improved slightly so that's encouraging.

      Earlier on I remember a few nightmares with snakes.

      I'm in school, visiting, not really sure what school it's supposed to be, nothing looks familiar. It's a hot summer day with bright sunshine and my parents are here. I'm walking around when I see my old French teacher and decide to go say hi to her, but I approach a stranger's back.. Then my old math and French teacher call out to me. They are sitting close by and I go say hey! to them. They ask me whether I've heard about the new place ot eat and I'm like, what..Cinnabon? They say it's a place I've probably never ate at before and decide to take me there. We walk and I look down at my clothes, realizing I'm wearing a really shirt sundress. I wonder how I managed ot get away with wearing this in front of my parents..and wonder whether I should go back and change. We make our way across a street and the whole dream goes dark, that is, dusk settles in suddenly. I realize we're in front of some outback steak-esque place; I never dine in those kind of places. Dreams transitions.

      It's nighttime now and my dad and I are getting something from Cinnabon. We are in a carnival type place, but it's still my college. We make negotiations about what to get and debate over how long the line is. No events of consequence.

      At some point my parents are gone, I'm in a weird little movie theatre kind of place. Rita's trying to order something from the waiter whilst laughing hysterically, the waiter turns out to be Al. He shares the amusement and laughs a lot as well. I head over to a little Paki banquet, really dark, kind of like a lecture hall with food in first row. I inspect some kabobs and they seem unfresh, Kamran tells me they are form his dad and to check out the ones on the right side as they are fresh. They look all right so I take one. My dad's there as well, and he tells me we should hurry, and I wonder what his reaction is to me knowing everyone. We leave.

      Now for some reason me and Gus have gotten back form a club, we're in a dark lobby wherein some guy proceeds to criticize my appearance. I encourage him to be honest, and then when the lights turn on I give him a really loud yelling.

      It's move-out day again, seems I'm outside of Truman/Kennedy. There is a child that is my brother who's misbehaving so he's sitting in the corner. A couple of doctors arrive, they're half-Polish (as I figured form their last name) and half-Paki (as I figured form what they look like). It was really funny because I took note of their names and thought: yeah, this is a detail I'll need ot remember for my DJ. My dad looks at them admirably and i think about how he idolizes doctors.

      There are a bunch of fragments and stuff that I just can't access.
      Tags: doctors, parents, rita, uni
    12. No Big Get-Off

      by , 05-05-2011 at 04:01 AM
      No Big Get-Off (Non-lucid)


      *Sexually explicit (though rather clinical, lol. No big get-off to be had here :p)
      *Rough draft

      Visuals took over my meditation. I wasn’t that tired, this has been happening lately. I want to research this. It kind of feels like falling asleep but sometimes I’m aware of my body and the binaural water sounds I’m listening to as well. Maybe sleep paralysis? I really should read up.

      Walking in my home
      I used to live with a man here but I broke up with him,
      I think
      I see some items that are colorful, 3 that go together
      I'm in the bed we used to sleep in together. I lay around a bit. At one point looking out the large window and the white light barely tinted with blue.

      I decide to give head to myself
      Wondering if I’d like the taste
      The taste wasn’t very obvious; it was fine
      I want to try different things
      I’m reacting to it and can feel it at the same time
      I see my hips lift, but I feel like I'm laying below myself at the same time with my head between my legs, of course. :p
      It was pretty clinical. I was figuring out my anatomy and pleasure reactions more than really trying to get off.
      Kinda tentative at first
      Licking it feels nice but too general
      Sucking on my clit is pretty pleasurable I think
      Pressing my chin onto it
      The general pressure feels very good, like I could eventually cum like that
      Hips lifting in reaction to the pleasure I’m giving myself
      Pressing hard makes my chin and pubic bone pretty sore, but my clit is happy. I stop the chin method

      grazing my teeth against my clit feels like a bit of a stab of pleasure, a bit too intense but a nice “jump start” to be used occasionally
      Nibbling my clit with my teeth feels too sharp

      A man comes over and we’re going to a concert together, some alternative rock group I used to like pretty well in high school but wasn’t that crazy about

      Got into the car with one of the guys who came to my house, we’re driving together. I’m driving, and the other guy has another car. He is a bit surly. We go to the corner convenience store. Something somewhat significant happens inside
      (with the man at the counter? I was watching through the window?)

      I remember I have to get something for the concert, a set of 3 items that pertain to the band. The items are important. One was a kind of book. They were like a key to something and would be recognized (by the band?). The surly guy was annoyed. I brushed his annoyance off.

      We had time, there would be an opening band, I imagined and told the guy in my car. He agreed and said something about me being on top of the planning. I questioned that I was, thinking I had procrastinated and that I was lucky there is probably an opening band which I hadn’t taken into account before. I thought that if there wasn’t an opening band we’d be late.

      Driving into my old small curved driveway (where I lived in waking life in high school). When entering it I focus on its small entrance and how it is pretty awkward to veer into it but I do. A tree has overgrown but I pull up enough for the guy in the car behind to have easier access to the house's door as well. The tree’s branches come into the window and they’re more solid than I’d thought. They kinda hurt and I wonder about being able to open the door.

      I had the 3 items
      I think, got to the concert, there are different rooms/areas
      The concert hasn’t started in the main, larger area. The opening group will play in a smaller room that we go to. There are chain link fences. I sit on the bleachers. I am alone, the man has gone off somewhere and will come back and I think the surly guy left a bit before that.

      Old school, old teacher, Claudia and another
      Claudia was being strict about the students sitting in rows of two. Katie, a student, kept sitting where she wanted over and over. Claudia kept correcting/directing her. Katie seemed like she was somewhat unconscious of her actions, and also quietly (subconsciously, perhaps) angry and dismissing, like she was telling them to leave her the hell alone silently.

      I didn’t have a very good seat. I'm in the section to the side of the area where the students were sitting. The other teacher (Leigh?) called my name as if I was still a student. I knew it was a better seat and she gave me a look like she knew I wasn’t supposed to be grouped with them but she was going to pretend she didn’t and make an exception so I could have a better seat. After a couple moments’ hesitation I stood, picked up my backpack and another item, and went to go sit there. Claudia noticed and said something. The other teacher gave a vague argument about why I should be fine sitting there. Claudia was strict, enforced the rules. Leigh gave me a subtly exasperated look mixed with a c'est la vie look about Claudia. I kinda shrugged and sat back down and felt a little embarrassed in front of the students.

      I saw a man I had dream memories of. We had been around each other regularly. He was like Adam (a man who had been a gay porn star I used to be friendly with in waking life. We always had a fun time, joking and being silly and also emotionally and physically affectionate. He had one of those vibrant, open personalities that didn’t seem needy, more just loving. He did little things, like when I was a waitress and had been serving him and his life partner, he poked his head into the back of the restaurant where I was making espressos and handed me the folded-up tip all furtive-like. He whispered matter-of-factly, “thanks for the blowjob.”, turned, and went back to his table. Leaving me cracking up. Very deadpan and playful at the same time, so much fun.) So, this dream character had the spirit of Adam and looked like Ozzy Osbourne (they are a bit similar in looks in some ways in waking life).

      I recalled dream memories of being around him daily because of people we were friends with. They seemed rich and extravagant. He and I would peripherally interact in these memories and there was a sadness there too, like we were sad we had a lot of distance between us. When I saw him at the concert, he was guarded emotionally. I initiated talking with him and he was hesitant. I told him I miss seeing him every day. He started to warm up and we linked arms and walked as we talked. He was surprised I missed him, saying “you did?” and I could feel him melting. I reaffirmed that I did. He warmed up a little more and invited me on a skiing trip and started to name-drop a bit about people who would be there (in real life he spent time and was close to famous people and he, or at least they, tended to like to name drop). It felt kinda cold and superficial, but I was excited at the prospect of going at the same time.

      Our walking took us down, into what felt like the basement/garage of this amphitheater. He wanted to show it to me.

      annoyed at waste, men working

      Trenches for planks of wood, band members one of whom was shooting up

      I’m outdoors, walking on a long balcony. Men to my left in rooms working on projects (with saws and whatnot…you know, picking up heavy objects and putting them back down) My thumb caught on a round electric saw attached to and hanging over the balcony’s railing. The tooth of the saw was slightly deformed and it was caught on my thumb without scraping much. I carefully extract my thumb so as not to cut myself more and reflect on that. The saw feels like it almost has a hold on it.There is some pain.

      Grey’s anatomy short black doctor woman "Nazi" and another familiar but not famous woman had been trying to flag me down before then with some papers she wanted me to sign. I had seen but had been doing some other things. She expressed annoyance. I held my boundaries and stayed good natured.
      The solid short woman took my thumb; it was bleeding. Her finger came close to touching the cut/scrape like she was fascinated. I pulled it away before she could touch it and was like, don’t touch it! Um, aren’t you like a doctor? She kinda shrugged and looked to the side.

      I felt emotionally strong in this dream
      Another man (a doctor?) asks me out. I wasn’t expecting him too. I felt comfortable and wanted him to. He was kind of constrained but I understood why.

      Cousin, aunt/CJ/Diane Hamilton interruption of me and the man.

      At that point I lost the sense of emotional expression balanced with a calm and acceptance stance toward my emotions that held their intensity in check without trying to. I got angry and quiet.

      Woke breathing hard, angry…with Charles in Charge theme song going through my mind, lmao. It is still being sung in my mind as I write this. Joy…*crazy face*

      Oh, and my thumb still kind of hurts. When I picked up my laptop to write this the pressure and roughness of the cushion exacerbated the pain a bit.
    13. #189. Zippo

      by , 02-24-2011 at 06:15 PM (Things to Run Away From Really Fast)

      "When can I schedule an appointment for you?"

      Needing a doctor's appointment, but I don't have a day free for a while. I'm working every day this week.

      "Why are we walking to the train station?" I ask the nurse.

      "I need a light. You don't carry a lighter."

      "Only if I'm dreaming," I say, amused, and I snap my fingers. A sliver of bright red flame flares up over my closed fist.

      Zippo. Scare Factor: 1.
    14. My three eggs

      by , 07-31-2010 at 01:00 AM (Visions in the Dark)
      The beginning of the dream is long and concerns a secret military base in a valley in an unnamed country, though I have forgotten most of it. I am my Chinese dream incarnate Chun-li. The military base contains a medical ward that has an odd layout. One end of the infirmiry is located by a lake at the far end of the valley, while another part of it is located up river in a square building in the central region of the valley.

      I (as Chun-li) am a scientifically engineered super soldier and have been hybernating in a deep sleep for many years. The army commanders decide to wake me up for some reason and send me from one end of the medical facility to the other, but even though I just woke up and I am not at full physical strength, they make me walk up the river to the other building.

      Along the way I pass a gnarley, leafless tree that has three blue sacs sitting in three different crooks of the tree. The sacs are about soccor ball sized and transparent, when I look inside each of them I can see blue embryos and upon seeing them I know they are "my eggs" and that they are a combination of my cloned cells and my ovarian egg cells combined to create more super soldiers like me. They are alive and thriving but I wonder why they have been placed in a tree and are not in a scientific lab.

      I continue on my way to the square building and see a group of soldiers digging away at the base of a cliff on the other side of the river. They look farmiliar to me but I cannot place their names, and they do not notice my prescence. When I arrive at my destination I am immediately placed in bed and given a private room to rest in. I am fading in and out of consciousness for several hours as a variety of people, including doctors, scientists and old army buddies come in to check on me.

      Some doctors and scientists come in one day and put me to sleep with anestesia. Even though my body is unconscious my mind can hear them talking. They are discussing my eggs in the tree down the river and arguing whether it would be best for their development to stay in the tree or to transplant the eggs back into my body now that I was out of deep hybernation. The doctors seem to be arguing that it would be better for the eggs to be returned to my body while the scientists were saying that the eggs would become stronger by being in the tree.

      At the conclusion of the argument, the blue eggs, which were now golf-ball sized, were placed back into my body to develop, but the dream ended before the anestesia wore off and I could wake up.

      I drew a picture (click for larger image):

      Updated 08-30-2010 at 02:08 PM by 6048

      non-lucid , dream fragment
    15. Nightmare, cat mutaliations. (Do not read if you are squeamish)

      by , 07-29-2010 at 10:47 PM (Purple Trees and Zombies: Trippy Dreams of an Artist/Writer)
      This is copy pasted from my LJ. An older dream, but one very vivid, and a bit gruesome at the end. As I say in my title, do not read if you are squeamish about animals getting hurt.

      Dream #1:

      I'm driving to work and see bunnies on the side of the road. It's day time, and I think it's summer. There's a ton of them laying there and hopping around. I stop and get out. They aren't afraid of me. I go over and sit in the center of them. They are white, with brown ears. I pick up a baby bunny. I pet it and set it down, then I pick up a smaller one and pet that one. I see a big yellow hump in between the bunnies. I squint my eyes at it and it rises and rushes me. I stop it from hitting my chest with my free hand and it bounces back and disappears. It was a baby toy chicken; I remember the black dot eyes and the orange bill.

      Dream #2

      Later, I'm walking down a road in a trailer park. It isn't my park, but another I don't recognize. It's midday and summer. For some reason, I want to find a kitten. A couple strolls by. I can't remember the man, but the woman is older. The woman is holding two tiny puppies, both are white and fluffy, but I don't want to pet them. The woman holds them out to me, but I walk away. The next street over, I find a white cat a little girl is holding. She won't let me touch it.

      Dream #3

      I'm at work and some things happen that I can't remember, but I take a break and go to the bathroom. I change into my Subway shirt and pajama bottoms. Two girls enter and talk about something, but I ignore them. They leave. A man then enters and I think nothing of it. I discover I'm on my period. I walk out and wash my hands. The man is watching me. He's Asian. I wash my hands; there's blood on them. The man says nothing.

      I leave the bathroom and go outside. It's dark, early morning. A cop is parked near Panera Bread, but he's just sitting there. I have my notebooks with me. They are blue. I go to the grocery store, Hiller's Market (it's a part of the same mall Panera is). A man joins me. He has blond hair and is also carrying notebooks. His are blue as well. We enter and the man says he's going to get us a good seat. I nod and follow. The store is set up backwards. There is a high school there for a write in and I think I can work on my NaNoWriMo novel finally. The students have long tables in the produce section. The tables are covered in newspaper. The students notebooks and the chairs are red. For some reason, this makes me realize they aren't writing for NaNo, but they're there for another reason. I feel sneaky now, and wonder if I'll be caught.

      Man comes back and says he found us a seat. I go with him and set my notebook on the table. The students ignore us. I'm hungry. I say I want to get something to eat. Man says okay, I'll wait here. I leave and get caramel apple hard candies, fruity hard candies, and a few items I can't remember. I want a drink. I go to the deli counter because they have drinks there. They have a meat case, but the back is set up like a Star Bucks. The tones are gold and brown. There are gifts on shelves. I decide the drink would be too expensive. I never pay for my food.

      I meet the man again in the aisle. He is worried because he thinks we're not supposed to be here. He makes me worried too. Then I see Hugo from LOST, a younger version. He looks angry and runs off. I know he's telling on us. I say to my friend that we should go. He agrees. Then an announcement breaks over the PA and I know it's Hugo again. He says some things I can't remember, but at the end he curses us with a 'were' curse. Instead of wolves we'll turn into lizards. We leave and my companion runs away. I start walking back to Panera, worried and thinking I need help. Two girls come by and tell me that I hurt her, and it's what I deserve. I have no idea what they are talking about.

      Dream #4

      I'm driving around an apartment complex. It's fancy, and I can't find a parking spot. The sky is overcast and it's daytime. Many spots are open but I don't want them. I finally park on the lawn. Two black men in suits are watching and talking among themselves. They say nothing to me.

      I go into the complex and to the second floor. There were no stairs. I see a registry in the center of a big room, and a door beyond it. The registry is wooden, and the place to sign your name flips up instead of to the side. The registry's full of black and white vintage photos of women. There's many of one girl in a bikini, different poses. I think she's pretty, but I know she's dead. I take a picture out and I hear a click. The door is open, but I can't find it now. A women enters. She is dressed in a lab coat. She says right this way. I follow her and I'm dressed in a maroon salon gown with white trim. I try to button it in the back, but I could only find one snap. I'm naked underneath.

      In the lobby, there are two doctors dressed in blue surgery scrubs. They are talking to each other. The woman says to take off all your jewelry. I take off several gold rings, one gold necklace, and gold earrings. The men watch and joke that the boss is "cracking down".

      The woman wants to take blood, and I follow her to a desk with a weird machine on it. The machine looks like the face of a ounce scale without the gray knob in the middle (I use them at Panera for weighing meat). She says to stay standing as she pokes my finger. I watch as she takes a drop and sets it where the gray knob should be. The dial spins. She seems annoyed with the results, and she wants to take more blood. She says to sit down this time, so I do. She jabs my thumb twice and ends up with too much blood. This time, she seems satisfied. My finger never touches the machine.

      Then she says that I have to see the grindroom before I can treated. (I think this stems from the last dream about the curse). I say okay, but get a weird feeling. She leads me down a long hall to a room full of bunnies and cats in glass cages. The woman leaves. I think the animals are cute, but I hear a awful grinding sound. There is another woman in an apron; she has cats on the metal table in front of her. The cats are all different colors, but the one that stands out the most is an orange tabby. The woman has a bloody saw in her hand and the cats are squirming. I see a huge pit next to her with whirling blades. The blades are all bloody. I start to cry because I know what she's doing, but I never stop her. Nor do the cats try to fight back. There is no sound at this point. None. She starts cutting them up and throwing them into the pit. I cover my face and run from the room, sobbing. I remember thinking that this was a test, and I didn't know if I had failed or not.

      I woke up then, and yeah, I was bawling. After I calmed down, I laid there and recollected. Then I got up and wrote it all down. Still a little shaky from the last bit and every time I think about it I want to cry again.

      Updated 07-29-2010 at 10:51 PM by 34551

      non-lucid , nightmare , memorable
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