All DJ Entries

First dream

It was a late morning. I was in a cottage deep within a forest. I was wearing my forestry uniform and felt a few years older. There was a man in late thirties, wearing a gray suit. He had dark hair. We were talking, I had different voice.

Man: You were working in these forests?
I: Yes, I was a forester over there.

*I wandered the room for a while, the man continued.*

Man: A forester?
I: Yeah, though of a lower rank.

False awakening

I woke up in my bed. I heard strange ringing and was really annoyed at the TV. I thought that I really should turn it down, but it wasn't even turned on! As I closed my eyes, I saw some horrifying ghostly faces and a voice telling that ghosts are real and want to get us all.

Second dream

Late, cold evening. With group of random people we entered a mansion of some general who left it free for his son this night. One of the rooms was under renovation, with furniture put in group in the midlle of it. Rest of the house was arranged as a wealthy, modern mansion with really expensive furniture. Other people - they were all teenagers, were taking drugs and demolishing everything around them. What's more, they closed the doors to second floor and lost the key, so I had to find some other way out. They were really ruining the building, setting fire in one of the rooms, breaking furniture and taking more and more drugs. Luckily they weren't aggressive. I tried to use furniture to break a window and make myself a rope to get out.

Suddenly I found myself outside, it was a warm early evening. It was at a shore of some lake, close to some warehouse with docks. I entered it and saw two girls - one taller with dark, long hair and one smaller with red, shorter hair. Both had pale complexion and were wearing some kind of robes. I heard a crying baby, then parents of those girls appeared. The tall girl told them that she and another boy was kidnapped by the smaller girl. But then a sudden thunder striked, and nobody believed her. Suddenly an assassin jumped down on a bungee and caught her, jumping with her back to a rooftop.

Bed: 23.30
Wake up: 08.20
Now: 08.20

Dealing
I'm at some guy's apartment. He's a drugsdealer and apparently a tad dangerous. My girlfriend is there as well. At some point he calls her a bitch. Not for having done anything wrong; that's just how he refers to all women it seems. I don't like the way he disrespects her. I take one of my soup bowls; white with grey and black flowery decal. I hit him over the head with it and he goes down. I keep smashing him, not sure what with at this point, but I make sure he's dead or else he'll kill me for this.

A bit later someone is at the door. A customer. I open up the door and I try to fake my way through it and start talking more roughly than I normally do. I throw in a 'motherfucker' every other sentence. I also start talking a lot of Surinam [a lot of Dutch slang comes from Surinam]. At some point the guy at the door starts talking about Sergio, an elementary school friend. I've seen him as an adult and he is quite a big guy. He's a few metres away and he's tiny and mentally disabled. I start asking the guy what happened to the motherfucker. He's got an "i know right" kinda attitude. It is something drugs related. I'm not sure what happened next, but shortly after there's another customer. I think at some point we're all in the house. Not sure what happened to the body though. I think I may have made up a horrible excuse. I remember that at the end of the dream the situation has evolved into a gun deal. Ok this is getting way out of hand.


I watched Drugs Inc. on NatGeo about an hour before I went to bed.

Fragments
» I don't remember my surroundings. All I remember is one of my teeth being wobbly. Eventually I break off a piece of it, cause it's annoying the hell out of me. I can already see (don't know how actually) that there's another tooth inside this tooth, like a Russian nesting doll. I consider just removing the whole tooth and be done with it. I'm slightly worried that it might not be a good idea.

» I've taken a train. I'm supposed to get to my mom's city, but I can't get there directly. Instead, I take a detour. I have 2 options and both of them will bring me 2 stops away from my mom's city. Somehow I feel like things are not going my way.

» I'm playing football at first. This changes into korfbal and later into basketball.

» I'm sitting at a round table with my friend's mom and 2 of my friends. We're eating (dinner?).

» I'm just about exiting a subway station. I'm going down an escalator and I see Milad going up the escalator to my left. I think we say hi. After that I'm distracted, I think by my phone. I've been walking for a bit, but not getting anywhere. This escalator is suddenly going up. Wasn't this one going down. Whatever. I hop down a few times and I'm down.

Physical
I'm at what's supposed to be my physical therapist, but the building is vastly different. There's multiple storeys. I go into the basement to go to the toilet, which is way bigger than in reality. There's a row of at least 6 urinals and then there are stalls as well. There's an older man in one of the stalls. I take a urinal somewhere on the left. There's a glass wall so you can see into the garden it seems. There's an oddly shaped pool there. Makes sense I guess. Some people have injuries that require swimming. For some reason I decide to finish up at another urinal all the way to the right. I then have the issue of not knowing which urinals to flush. I decide to just flush em all and then make a run for it, before the older man comes out and identifies me.

Still in the same building. There are signs to public transportation on every floor. So convenient that you can just take the public transport from inside this building. At some point my friend Wina goes down some stairs. A white dude about my age is following her, or perhaps she's already blacked out and he's helping her down the stairs. Either way I know exactly what's going on. I go down the stairs, damn near action hero style and beat the guy up for trying to rape my friend.

Somewhere in this dream my physical therapist tells me I still have an appointment for next week. This confuses me, as I thought this was supposed to be our last session. I already moved out. Now I have to come back specially for this?


Magic
This is a Harry Potter dream it seems. I am Harry, or I am myself and have taken over the importance of Harry. I'm in what seems like the University Library, somewhere near the top floor. I think Dumbledore is also there. He has given me command of a sort of army of students. They are all walking down the stairs. I'm having a bit of fun translocating even for the smallest distances. I'm not aware that I'm dreaming, but I'm aware that I can make anything happen that I want to happen cause I'm a wizard. I make a joke that I should go check out my army, as there are a lot of girls in it. At some point I allow myself to fall flat onto the floor, wanting to translocate at the last second. I fail to do so, but I do manage to float just above the floor so I don't hurt myself.

Something else pops into my mind. I'm not sure if it's a thought. It seems more like a commercial. It's about Harry Potter or some other wizard and going on vacation. It's about him not having to go to the airport early, nor having to stand in line, as he just translocates there. Man that's stupid. Just translocate to your final destination.

I'm outside. It's night out, nearly pitch dark with just about no lights. It looks as if I'm standing on a miniature island shaped exactly like Africa. There's a very dark skinned woman swimming west to east the whole time, despite there being land. She's doing so around the longitude of where Cameroon should be. I go to talk to her. She's swimming around a little buoy or something alike on both sides and then goes back. She's supposed to make this trip perhaps once every X minutes or hours, but she is doing it on an endless loop. Eventually she comes out of the water and walks somewhere. Woow. Quite a big woman. She has a bit of a weepy story. At some point I don't really feel like listening anymore and I somehow sort of delegate this task to the dude that's with me. While walking, I spot two girls in the distance. One is a black girl with glasses that I've met at a language cafe in reality. I can't see any defining traits of the other girl, but I assume that to be the friend who was with her. I look the other way. I'm not feeling conversations right now.

I get a message on my phone. It seems like whatsapp. I'm tasked with babysitting the army right now and someone has gotten themselves into a situation. This person has sent a picture of what seems like 2 barrels near a beer place where they're trapped and there's fire or something like that. I ask the guy that's distracting the 'swimming woman' if he recognises this place. It's just down one of the side streets. That particular street is glowing with green light because there are several beer companies next to each other; at least Grolsch and Heineken. I go over and make a quick entry to the 2 barrels, which I immediately try to extinguish by conjuring up a big amount of water. There's no fire to be extinguished though and no water appears. Still I persist. I try to start with a droplet of water, which appears, and add more and more to it. I've got a little string of water going now. Suddenly it dawns onto me that I should try harder, cause things in dreams only happen if you believe in them. I'm now thinking about whether I should just continue the water or solidify the dream. I choose the latter and try to push my fingers through my hand because that will give me a sensation that the water won't. The RC fails. I know that I'm dreaming though. I just shouldn't let go of it. The dream slowly starts fading. I believe that my hearing starts being influenced by the real world, even though this is not true.

Ritual: WTB 1am, woke 8:30am after spontaneous DILD.

In the course of an NLD, I was changing clothes in my bedroom when I spontaneously realized I was dreaming. I decided I shouldn't waste any more time fussing with clothes and instead get to work on the next task I had prioritized: the Fairy Circle TOTY. Glancing at myself in the mirror, still partially undressed, I headed outside.

I wondered if the dream would let me pass through the sliding door to the patio without obstruction, but instead I found myself exerting what almost felt like a realistic level of force to open it. Once outside, I didn't want to get bogged down looking for a fairy circle, so I primed my expectations. The fairy circle, it was right over here... I've seen it before. I headed right and found a nice patch of soil like a garden plot. Just as I had "expected," I saw tiny plants like seedlings growing in a distinct circular ring about five feet in diameter. At first I didn't see any mushrooms, so I reminded myself: And there were mushrooms. Looking closer, I now observed a few small mushrooms interspersed among the plants. I also saw a few smooth, bulbous growths that reminded me of the "stone plants" that had fascinated me when I was a kid. I had forgotten those even existed!

Now that the circle was adequately established, I needed to summon fairies. I knelt down and focused on the center of the ring, where the soil was bare. I noticed faint movement in a spot slightly off-center, and then the loose earth began to fall inward, as though a hole were forming beneath it. I continued to concentrate on the summoning, and then an odd formation slowly rose out of the earth until it stood about two feet high. It resembled a candelabra with at least two tiers of arms in all four directions, except instead of candles, it held small figures that I presumed were the fairies. I reached out and grabbed the one from the very top of the arrangement. It was about eight inches tall and stiff like a statuette.

I looked closely at the small figure in my hand. She was dark-skinned with shoulder-length black hair, wearing a crimson dress with a dark green cape on her back. Her hat was the same crimson as her dress, but in form it resembled a Santa hat, with a white fuzzy brim and a white pompom at the end of the conical tip that draped behind her. Attached to the toes of her green shoes were round bells, both silver and green. I thought the overall impression was really cheesy, not at all how I would have preferred to imagine a fairy! There was one more incongruous detail: her face was contorted with an expression of unmistakable anger.

I was tempted to ask her name, but remembered how pointless and distracting this line of questioning can become, so I should get straight to my real question: "What is your secret?"

Her response was both unexpected and chilling: "It is evil." She sounded as furious as she looked.

"What is?" I asked, utterly perplexed.

I can't recall her initial response, but it did not resolve my confusion. I decided to be more specific: "When you said, 'It is evil,' what did you mean by 'it'?"

She said a few more things that I don't recall, and then a line that struck me clearly: "The evil of a controlled substance is the substance."

This was even more confusing. I hardly ever use controlled substances, at least not illegal ones, so I didn't understand how this could be relevant. Moreover, I disagreed with her stated position: in my view, the main evil of a controlled substance is the social strictures that punish people for possessing or using it.

"Why did you bury amphetamines?" the fairy pressed.

What happened next was the clearest case of false memory that I've experienced to date. With what felt like a flash of insight, I suddenly realized the probable reason she was so angry. I "remembered" something about my fairy circle—something that I'm pretty sure had not come up in the dream until the point at which I now "remembered" it, but now seemed to explain everything. I recalled that at one point I had buried a bunch of drugs inside the fairy circle, mostly amphetamines, as part of my preparations for the ritual to lure or summon the fairies. It now occurred to me that this might have caused problems within fairy society, and I felt a twinge of guilt.

I didn't think I would get any more useful information from this fairy, so I put her aside and grabbed another, this time from the side of the candelabra-like arrangement.

This fairy didn't look human at all. It looked like... a turnip? Was that the right vegetable? The white round bulb with a blush of purplish-red at the top? Yes, a turnip. I was reminded of a photograph of a white radish by Edward Weston (1886–1958) that I had seen the day before in WL. This was clearly a turnip, not a radish, but it gave me a similarly vulgar impression. If this was a fairy, it was clearly not from the upper echelon of fairy society. Or could its abject appearance be the result of too many amphetamines?

Well, here goes.

"I have a question." I said, wondering if the turnip-fairy could understand me. "The question I've come to ask is: What is your secret?"

I was still rotating the turnip in my hands as I spoke to it, uncertain which side was the appropriate one to address. How do you talk to something with no face?

I heard a male voice, faint, with the accents of a yokel, like Cletus on The Simpsons. It responded to the question in my mind, not the one I had voiced: "There is a side that says: 'Look at me'."

I realized the turnip must be trying to help me orient it properly, so I turned it until I found a round black label with white block lettering that, sure enough, said "LOOK AT ME." It was hard to make out—I missed it at first—because the label was embedded in a scene featuring the stylized profile of a man in a black cloak.

"It would be a lot easier to see if there was some white space around it," I commented about the label.

The turnip-fairy took my suggestion and the surrounding scene promptly faded, leaving the round black label with its white letters clearly discernible. I reminded the turnip that I had come to ask its secret.

I don't recall its initial answer, but I do remember my skepticism. Whatever he had said had sounded as unconvincing as the response I had gotten from the first fairy, and I assumed that he, too, might be pursuring an agenda that involved concealing the truth.

"I don't think that's your secret." I said doubtfully. "Tell me your real secret."

The tone of his response implied that I was wilfully ignoring the obvious: "Oh come on, we can't tell you that."

Even before his sentence had concluded, I was ejected from the scene and found myself standing in my bathroom. I felt like I had woken up, but wasn't sure. I briefly considered going back outside and attempting to continue the scenario, but realized I should promptly write down what had already happened. I grabbed my notepad from the bedside table, and after a bit of trouble with the pen—which I recognized as another dream sign—I started writing down what had happened. Although I realized I was probably not yet awake, I figured that even while still dreaming it could be useful to write down some initial recollections while they were fresh, and it might help me remember them better when I did wake up.

However, I hadn't gotten more than a few sentences into it when dream-writing began to feel tedious, and I was afraid I would get distracted, fall into an NLD, and lose the memories entirely, so I forced myself awake. But as soon as I grabbed my actual notepad to begin writing in WL, I realized my mistake: merely transitioning to wakefulness had dulled the memories of the dream that had been so crystal clear just before I had woken up. I wrote down everything I could still recall, but unfortunately some details of the conversations were lost.

Went to bed a bit before midnight. Really had issues falling asleep, took me at least until 01:00. I set the alarm for 06:45.

Presentations
I'm in a classroom. The presentations of our project groups are about to start. The lecturer asks me to present for our group. I tell him that someone else in our group has already prepared to present. The lecturer asks me to present anyway. My voice changes just a little bit, I guess it breaks a little. I ask him why. He backs off, seeming a bit intimidated. I go up to my group to tell them and we laugh about it a little. In my head I've got the joke ready that that's the advantage to being black: it's easy to scare white people. I don't make the joke.

We're on the 2nd floor of a building. The walls on two sides have arched holes in them so you can look outside. There's some parkour going on. It looks like a live video. One guy falls from the 2nd floor. I take a look over the edge. The guy was lucky. He's still hanging on to an edge just a bit below, so he didn't tumble all the way down. A teacher for a different course then decides to stand on an object which was used in this particular parkour run, to prevent more people from doing it. It's presentation time again. The first teacher ends up buying us all food, but only some of us get to choose. He makes a girl take orders from all of us. Everyone is shouting and I suggest that she writes it down, cause she's not gonna remember that many orders. My friend is sitting next to me. He complains that it's unfair that some people get to choose their orders and others don't.


I had another dream but I don't really have the time or energy right now to go into it. It involved my Indonesian classmates, a train station, drugs and being late for an appointment with my thesis supervisor. The dream sucked

D1: I was at my house and was going to have some people over. I acquired some acid and was planning to get high with them and have a party. My parents? or someone told me to keep the house clean, otherwise I'd be in big trouble. So I took the acid, and next thing I know, the house is a complete mess and I remember nothing. So I quickly clean it up. At one point the cops come looking for me so I go to my ultimate hiding place, under the water bed(this was at old house) and hide under there underneath a blanket, but I think they still managed to find me because they tore the house apart looking for me.

D2: I don't know if I was asked this question or if I myself asked it, but the question was, "If you could go back to one day in your life, what would it be?" And I just wanted to go back to a happy childhood day, so I picked the day I had my birthday party at the roller rink. Next thing I know, I'm like 10? years old and I'm in my room getting ready for the big day. For some reason I'm hanging up pictures of Santa Claus. I never made it to the roller rink, darn it.

D3: I was back in high school. I was quite enjoying it, but I was in the main lobby doing something, like baking muffins or something random, and I started to get super dizzy. I went to the health room and there was a guy before me who asked to go outside and they let him go. When I asked, the nurse said, "I'll schedule an appointment with your primary care doctor" and I said, "No, I need to get outside right now!" and she just kept saying, "I'm sorry but you'll have to make an apt with your doctor" and I said "I've already seen my doctor!" "You have?" she said. "Yes! I have a condition called Vestibular Migraine and it makes me dizzy and I need to get outside right now because I feel as though I'm going to pass out." At this point I was crying. I think she finally let me out.

Seems I can't even escape getting dizzy in my dream life.

D4: Then, I woke up but then was in "half sleep" and I was back in my high school just enjoying seeing it again, walking down the hallways. There were 4 locker hallways and some of them had string lights on them, it was kinda pretty. I remember trying to find my 2015-16 planner that I lost. Also, I remember walking by a classroom and hearing a teacher shout, "Laura!", as if she wanted to say hi and introduce me as a former student, and I didn't want to be seen so a ran away and hid in one of the hallways.

I'm entering a large parking lot area. I'm in a convertible with a friend. I notice we're in Los Santos when he yells out "We're in Los Santos, baby!" A prostitute comes up and my friend ask her where to buy drugs. She takes us to a little boy who is selling pills. Is he selling his ADHD medication? The prostitute takes the pills and the kid whispers something to her. The little boy turns into a little girl and the prostitute says the little girl is turning tricks to sell the pills. The prostitute says the girl has an infected vagina. The girl shows it to us and it is indeed red and infected-looking.

I'm in a house owned by a young couple at night. They are people I know from work. They ask if I'm getting wasted on a Friday and I say I'm not. They are drinking beer and invite me to join but I want to keep our relationship professional.

HIV
I've just entered a dark room. It's a cinema. There are not as many chairs as you would expect from the amount of space that's available, making the cinema aspect look small. There are a couple of people on pretty much every one of the rows. I enter a row and get to the middle, past 2 guys, the last one being Wes. I'm not sure if I inject myself with medication. Wes, who's sitting on my left injects himself with some drugs. I offer to help him with his needle because he doesn't seem to be handling the situation well. He spasms too much and the needle ends up stuck just below my right elbow. GODDAMNIT MAN! In this dream he has HIV. I walk out the room.

It feels like I'm still in the same building. There's a counter which is shaped like a bar area. My mom and aunt are behind it. It looks more like I'm in a clinic. I tell them what happened and that I need a STD test. I'm just mildly stressed for someone who is nearly certain he now has HIV. I place the needle on the counter and ask my aunt for a cap so I can dispose of it.

On FB a public discussion ensues with Tony [he has taken over the role of Wes]. We talk about the whole situation and others join the conversation. I think at one point the conversation turns Indonesian.

Grass mower
I'm at my mom's house. I'm looking outside and down to the grassfield behind the apartment. There's a muscular guy mowing it with an enormous electric cutter. His outfit is strange. He's barely wearing anything. At one point he walks into the water seemingly without thinking about it, to cut grass there as well. Man he is dedicated! I would never do that. Suddenly his outfit makes sense: less to get wet. I watch him go about for quite a while.

Fragments
» I'm looking at pictures it seems. They appear 'fullscreen'. They are pictures of my Balinese classmate. She's in a public building, a restaurant of some sorts. On the wall behind her I think I see an address: Jalan Galante 60, if I remember correctly.

» I'm reading the 4th book of a series I'm reading. Man the quality is really going down. Barely anything has happened in this book and I'm already midway after a few hours.

» I'm walking in a public building. I think it's university related. I'm headed for the exit.

» I'm in a living room it seems. My friend's Indonesian girlfriend enters the room. Not sure what she was wearing on her upper body, but lower body was just a thong. Well this is new. I pretend to not notice and she doesn't seem to care. We say something to each other, possible in Indonesian. She walks up the stairs and I look after her for a moment. On a device which doesn't look like it's my phone I have a message from her, but I'm not sure anymore in which language. I want to reply with a witty remark, but I can't get it right. My 4 year old cousin messes with the device and sends something. Great, there goes my chance. Still in the same room, but to the other side and at a later time, I'm playing with my cousin(s).

More cinema & drugs
I've just entered the cinema. At least 2 Indonesian classmates are there. Not sure who else. The movie is about to start. I think I see everything fullscreen. It's a comedy. It starts with a guy in a chair talking about a pathetic wannabe drugdealer called Joey. We then see his lifestyle. He has a little bit of cash. He has 2 women sleeping in his bed with their bra's still on [it's implied that real dealers have women sleeping in their bed without bra]. Joey thinks he's the shit though. At one point we/I see through Joey's eyes. He's sitting at a table. He puts a round pinkish pill on the table, licks it up, holds his head back and swallows. Then he takes another one, places it on top of an open, green beer bottle (Heineken?) and shakes the bottle.

At another point in the movie there's a scene with an elderly woman in Joey's swimming pool, trying to be seductive. At some point Joey has been replaced by an old woman as well and she slips, but really over the top. She lands on her back and then bounces to do a sort of backflip. I think to myself that it's very odd. There's a blond attractive woman in a tub who jumps out and performs a 360° rotation before landing. She does this because she is startled.

Korfbal
I'm at the old korfbal [if you don't know what korfbal is, think basketball but different] field. I'm with 2 good friends / old teammates. We and maybe some others are looking around for Eve, another member of our team. She has to be our reserve keeper [there's no such thing in korfbal], in case I can't do it for the whole match. I already feel that I won't be able to physically. I have goalkeeper's gloves. We pass the club building, towards the parking lot. I'm pretty sure she's getting dressed in the club building, but it's best to make sure she doesn't leave before we tell her, so lets check the parking lot first. We jog along a narrow tiled path. I open the iron barred fence to the parking lot. The iron bars really stand out in terms of detail / attention that I give them.

It's almost game time. I take off my clothes that I wear over my uniform. The ref, Robin, starts the game already. Crap, I don't have my shoes ready yet. Ah well. I know that I haven't played in a while and I can tell. I'm not as good as I used to be anymore. My knee is also a slight concern. The match goes on for a while in quite some detail with regard to what I do. I remember a number of moves really clearly.


Goodbye
I'm at the uni, in a ceremonial hall. I think the room is mainly made out of wood, which gives it an old and classy feel. There's a goodbye ceremony for one of the teachers. First it's one teacher, then suddenly it turns into another one. There are some speeches and Leo, who is sitting in the audience with other students, starts to clap. Nobody joins in so after maybe 2 claps she stops, feeling slightly embarrassed. I think Frank and I make fun of her a little bit. For some reason I'm standing in front of all the students. Then it seems to turn into a graduation ceremony. Leo has graduated from the master that I'm doing. Huh? I used to be ahead of Leo by 1 year. I must've done something really wrong if Leo has graduated and I haven't yet.

I was abroad, and i knew no one. It looked like somesort of erasmus project, because everyone somehow knew me. People here were quite interesting. Some were wearing those frenchmaide costumes.. others were really gothic looking.. i said.. ok .. this is not a bad place to be. And what happens next? we are in the church. Sitting and watching some teathre show.. One girl took a sit next to me.. and said: Matej.. many girls here likes you.. what will you do with it? I dont know.. dont know yet. She looked at me.. and said: you know.. women are not that different from men, and that she knows all about my lovelife. No you dont I replied.. So i looked back to the stage.. and everything was burning.. And no one did nothing.. it somehow looked like a part of the show.. but it was burning quite hard.. My vision started to be blurry.. very blurry.. and in a few seconds later.. it looked like a great party.. everybody was dancing.. and moving around.. but my vision just got worse.. I could not see anything now.. just some blurry shapes.. and I was wearing sunglasses. It was like I am super stoned but dont know from what! What the fuck is going on!!!.. and now I am lying in my bed..I am awake.. or at least i think so.. but one problem still remains. I am still High.. everything is spinning.. and I am trying to open my eyes.. And i cant.. i try really hard.. still cant. What is going on!! ?? and i said to myself.. well.. this has to be a dream.. it has no sense at all.. it has to be a dream, I am dreaming. And It was true.. When i realized that i was dreaming.. some mind vortex opened up.. it was black and gray.. like a gravity hole.. and i was traveling trough it.. I said! well this is the feeling i was telling Nikija about.. It is not really fun.. until you get used to it..
Where am I?
I am l laying on red rooftoop bricks.. oooh.. where am I now? at least my vision is perfect again. I took my time.. and said.. ok .. it is morning, the sunrise is here. And i looked around a bit.. and figured out that I am laying or lying? (or wtf this word should be..) on the top of a really high church.. it should be 300m high at least.. And i was just at the edge of the roof. I was very calm.. and said.. well this could be dangerous.. sleeping so close to the edge.. with such a drop down.. So i stood up.. You have to get out of here, before somebody sees you.. I tried to find an exit from this rooftop and I saw one.. but i had to jump 1m or so.. to another ledge. At the same time.. i saw that someone trough the window and he was walking trough some hallway.. O fuck.. What can I do? Just stand still.. no matter if you are all in black.. and the rooftop is red.. just stand still.. he will not see you!! And I was correct. He did not notice me. So i jumped over the gap and came into the building. Ok.. now i have to find an exit. I was running from door to door.. and my shoes were making such a strange noise.. like I was wearing High heels.. but i looked down.. and the shoes were normal. Well.. fuck it.. I was still running.. here is the kitchen.. and a cook.. i ran and i ran.. trying to be stealth.. hiding in the corners when people were passing by.. and i found some emergency exit.. OH YeA... and i ran down and down those stairs.. until i have reached the first floor. And there was a reception.. Stay casual.. i said to myself.. so i said hi to the receptionist.. and smiled. I made it out of the building.. but i was still pretending that i am going running.. so i was tying my shoes.. and hair. And now all the other people came out of this church.. even the guy who was walking on the hallways.. and he was the principle .. he just said.. Matej.. come here! OOh.. he even knows me. . just great! and when i was walking towards him.. I saw a reflection of myself in the window.. and i was wearing Chef uniform.. so I said to the principle.. do i have to cook today? he said yes!! do I have a punishment or why me? he said.. I just need someone with great sense of logic.. to make the sandwiches..

Ecstasy
I was with friends at some kind of a bar, which had pool tables. There were people that were near the pool tables. I think they had just finished playing. I could see three pool tables, which were all a different height. I was looking to re-rack the balls on the table, but as I started to do so I noticed that some of the balls were not balls. They were odd looking and small. I don't think all the colors and patterns on the balls were on them either. This made me confused when trying to re-rack them, but Chloe H came over and did it herself for me.

At some point I noticed I had an Ecstasy tablet in my hand. I handed it over to my brother, so he could halve it, but ended up having trouble doing so. I have the tablet in my hand and notice that it was broken up, and I decided to halve it myself. The tablet looked off. It was shaped like a small potato chip, which had been broken untidily. I decided to have half, and give the rest to Chloe. I kept anticipating the drug to kick in throughout the whole dream, but never climaxed. I may have felt a bit of a change in feeling though. I was intending to get high and have sex with Chloe.

I'm outside with my brother and Chloe at night time.

My brother walked over to Chloe and held up a sign in front of her. There was something written on the same in gold letters. It was my brothers way of showing that he was an undercover cop. I believe my brother did this because I hadn't made a move on Chloe. This situation pulled me into saying that I was an undercover cop too. I felt like I had betrayed Chloe.

I'm now at a table inside. She's eating something nice, and offers me some. She leaves the room and I decide to quickly check her phone for anything that led to her wanting me. She entered the room as I put down the phone. She was suspect on what I was doing. I tried to act calm, and walk over to her for a chat.

Dream Fragment
1) I was at my house and was standing in the kitchen. Rob asked what was the smell. I think I had poo on my hands or something along those lines.

Side Notes
EFT - Even though I can't remember all my dreams, I deeply and completely accept myself, and will remember all my dreams tonight.

Non Lucid - (Ultra Vivid)

I am walking around with my wife in a building that has various tables set up with merchants selling cannabis. I stop at one that had some foreign word then "anti-anxiety". Well that sounds nice so I decide to buy some. I say something to the man that I think must be from Africa but he sounds Jamaican. I feel temporary confusion about what country I am in and whether this is all legal. I am looking at green foil packs of weed. Bemistaken walks up to my right looking at what all the man is selling. I give her a sidelong glance thinking she looks familiar. The man asks how much and I hand him a
15 dollar bill with two 5's. At first he says I can have what looks like eight or nine packs then stops and says he's not allowed to sell so many. I end up with two packs but he still takes my 15 dollar bill and gives no change. I hesitate but shrug figuring I still got a good deal. We walk away and I feel really excited to smoke some legal weed.

There's a part where I am driving and trying to roll a joint, then I am suddenly in my house. My wife takes a hit then passes it to me. As soon as I inhale I feel something like a mind explosion. BOOM! Then a second of darkness.

I am now in another room in the house. I look around not sure what just happened and I feel super stoned. I think maybe that weed hit so hard that I have missing time. I seem to recall my wife getting mad at me about something, but I feel so high that I don't think I can talk to her about it. I thing maybe my high is wearing off a little and I consider rolling another joint.

I am now standing in the bathroom with several zigzag papers spewing out of my mouth with the book in the sink. One or two feel stuck to my lips and I peel them off. I decide that maybe I am too stoned and have had enough. I am really shocked at the potency of the weed and wonder if I really did just take one hit. Now, I start hallucinating colors and streaks of patterns on the wall and decide I should go outside and look at nature. As I walk through the living room I pass a couple of large paintings that look super psychedelic. I enjoy what I am seeing, but I don't linger.

Similar to these:


I walk out on the porch and lay slouch down on some bench or porch swing looking at the sky. I hope to see something cool with the stars, but I see there are clouds in the night sky. The sky and the clouds alternate colors and I see some flash of light then it goes normal. Bemistaken comes out on the porch from inside and sits quietly in a chair. We have some sort of chit chat and then she asks if I saw the paintings. I say 'yes' and make some comment about how look it looked to me. Ask we are talking my attention turns to the large tree in my yard. I feel some sort of strange connection to in and then the colors of the tree turn into something like a photo negative then to x-ray. There seems to be some sort of skeletal system inside it and I feel the tree is sentient.



I can't believe I am having all these fantastic hallucinations and I am reminded or how utterly stoned I am. The euphoria is so overwhelming that all I can do is sink lower into my seat and hide my face giggling until I wake up.

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DJ Log: November 20, 2014 – 8:15PM (USA Eastern)
• NON-DREAM • NOTES • DREAM • LUCID •

(Note: I came home from doing a training class and felt tired, so I took a nap. After this epicness, I will do this more often – hopefully without losing so much detail during logging.)

I am at wedding reception party with several friends and more. We're in a basement room of a building and it is well furnished. There are many sofas and lounges all around and, as usual, the party is divided into many smaller groups. I am toward the front of the room, hanging out with some of my familiar friends. We're drinking beer and taking turns playing music on the sound system. There is a CD player and my computer is set up with my entire /media/mp3 folder structure.

The music comes to an end and the announcer says that the newlyweds are going to enjoy a private kiss. I turn and look just as curtains are beginning to close around them. Deciding to be a smart ass, I get up and walk over to my computer and find my porn soundtrack collection and play the Debbie Does Dallas intro part. Strangely, that is not what plays. It is a rather chill drum-n-bass track, maybe something by LTJ Bukem that actually plays. I sit back down, confused as to why the computer played the wrong track, because I don't want anyone to peek out from behind the curtain and see that it was me that played it. I just sit there slightly annoyed as it plays out.

As I'm waiting for it to end, I sneak a cable into the sound mixer to my phone and turn up the channel. When the track ends, I open up Pandora on my phone and it comes up with a bunch of geometric shapes on the bottom line and a blank top line. I stare at it for a second, then drag one of the shapes from the bottom line to the top. Hard drum-n-bass suddenly starts playing loud. I drag another couple of shapes to the top like and find out that each symbol represents a loop of music as they are playing through and repeating. A couple of people get up and start dancing and are shortly followed by some others. One guy comes over and looks at my phone and says, “That's kinda cool, what is it?” I reply, “It was supposed to be Pandora, but they must have done something really weird on that last update.” I hand him the phone saying, “Here, you figure this mess out.”, then I get up.

I walk toward the back part of the room and see that the newlywed couple are still in the curtain area. I pass them and go to the back area where there are a lot of people who look like they are absolutely faced on E. I can feel the energy of them all and wander a bit until I find a guy who is as connected to sensation as I am. I walk toward him and look into his eyes as I lightly brush against his arm. He opens his eyes wide and stares at me, saying , “I felt that!”, followed by a big smile. I smile back at him as I move toward the end of the couch he is laying on. I turn and look down at him and he reaches up and grabs me by my hair and pulls me into a kiss. It's quite enjoyable for a moment before I suddenly wake up.

I'm playing go with an old friend, and off to my left there's a woman who's thanking me on her hands and knees. I've just told her about the arrangements I've made to get her and her unborn child out of their current situation. I'm looking at the board, not at her, waiting for my friend to make his move - I'm smiling throughout this scene, since it irritates my friend. I haven't looked at the woman throughout the conversation. This was business, although I did take a personal interest since the father wasn't human. As she starts to leave, I tell her I'd like to see the child when it's born. Take it to a specific temple - I don't mention this last part, but there's a particular fox demon who lives behind that temple, a relative of mine, and I think he would take an interest in the child.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

The spirit of a certain man has been released and possessed someone, and since I and a friend of mine are the ones who bound him in the first place, a woman's asking me how we managed it the first time. I'm telling her it won't work again - we were relying on his trust in us. We prepared a meal and my friend put sleeping drugs in his soup. Scene changes to show that night - the three of us are having a casual conversation. I'm arguing against some point he's just made, and to illustrate my point, I compare it to chess players - although the point of the game is to defeat your opponent, it doesn't follow that a chess player would hate everyone else who plays chess, just because they intend to defeat them.

#396 - DILD - 7:12AM

I was feeling really off this morning and decided to sleep a little longer before going in to work. The result was a cool LD. Totally worth it.

I wake from a dream and try to DEILD. I as I sink back into sleep I feel very mild vibrations. I get overly excited and feel my heart race. I try to calm myself but the vibrations end. I should nose plugged here to make sure but I assume I woke up too much. I try to focus on relaxing my body as I put my attention on my crown chakra. I quickly lose focus.

I am at some mixed version of my current workplace and my old elementary school. I see several people from work. Someone is walking with me outside. There is an open area where many people have gathered together holding yellow lilies. Somehow I know they are having a funeral from someone's pet. I remark to my friend how dumb this is as we walk through the crowd and enter the building on the other side.

I feel like I am sitting in a car but I am inside some room. There is a fat bearded guy talking about selling me some herbs. He mentions a list. I only recall him talking about Achuma and Kratom but the list is actually much longer. I say, "That's ok dude. I buy all my shit online."
He replies with, "I also have some weed."
I was about to walk out of the room but I pause at this. "Um... ok. Do you sell bags or single joints?" I really just want a joint.
"Both", he says.
I remember that I have some cash but I left my wallet in the car. Also, I worry that other people will hear this exchange. "Um. I'll get with you later." He nods and I step back outside.

There are still many people gathered around for the funeral. I realize I am smoking a cigarette next to Spencer. I remember that I quit smoking and begin to feel sick. I have only smoked half the cigarette and I feel a little bad for wasting it as I throw it down. I look up at the people standing around, as I wonder why I was even smoking. I look back down at the cigarette and watch the rest of it fast burn into ash. At that moment I recognize that I must be dreaming. I know I had a goal in mind but I don't care because, I think what I just saw was the coolest thing ever. I also notice that I have never smoked a cigarette in a lucid dream.

I quickly search around for another cigarette. I don't think to check my pockets but instead rummage around the nearst area. I see two empty plastic planters stacked on a low concrete wall. I quickly find something the right shape, but as I focus on it, I see it is a white crayon. I decide this will do and I hold it like a cigarette as I mimic a lighter motion with my other hand. I see sparks and flame as I put it to the end of the crayon. I take a nice long draw from it and in hale. Jeff is standing next to me watching and I intentionally blow the smoke in his face. I notice the taste and feel as do this; it's all very faint. Jeff smiles and lets out a laugh while looking astonished. I walk away and decide to show off for the crowd. I really want to repeat the fast burn cigarette at will. I spot my friend Lindsey in the crowd as I step up on the low wall. I avoid her gaze as I know she would disapprove of my smoking in waking life. I hold the cigarette up for all to see and point at the tip with my other hand. As I move my finger from tip to butt the cigarette fast burns and drops away as ash. I hear a few people gasp but mostly there is laughter. The dream goes black and I quickly wake up.

24.11.2014

Cop research (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This was a long dream that I had no time to write out in the morning, and sadly, been busy all day up to now, dinner time, with little recall left from the dream.

I was teaching psychic abilities to some students at my home.

Something related with two females and I went out with one. There were a lot of cops and they were taking people to jail, people who was on drugs and they would research for drugs. I wondered if they would find drugs in my room, even though I knew I had no drugs at all.

I was visiting jail for some reason and someone threaten me. I found an uzi gun and I pointed at some people, but I had no intents to kill. Cop cars arrived and I wanted to be at peace. Dropped the uzi and told them I was defending myself. They heard to me and they did not press charges.

These are a few of the dreams that I've had over the past couple weeks

dream 1:
The dream started with a false awakening. I wandered over to the bathroom, it was very dark. I had a feeling I was in a dream when I opened my eyes and still couldn’t see. I started to float above the ground and I floated right on through a window to get outside. It was really dark, I couldn’t see anything. I waited patiently. Suddenly everything became bright and I was standing in the driveway outside my house. I looked around and the world was what I would describe as surreal high definition. I could see every blade of grass and every leaf on the trees above me swaying in the breeze. I remembered that I wanted to summon dreamer. I looked around and said, “Oh, so you’re behind that tree EH DREAMER?” I went behind the tree and there was nobody there. I looked around again and said, “Oh, I get it, you’re behind me! NICE TRY< HA”. I spun around and she wasn’t there either. I wasn’t about to give up yet, I said, “Ohhh you’re down the street walking towards me”. I flew up above the trees and saw her, walking down the sidewalk.

I flew over and landed beside her. I was surprised at how much she looked like dreamer. Almost identical, except that her hair was blonde instead of purple. I made a big grin and said, “Dreamer!!!” She walked over and gave me a hug, and then immediately turned around to leave. I said, “Wait, don’t leave yet”. I made music start playing from the heavens. “Let’s dance first”. I grabbed her hand and she assumed the proper waltz positioning and I was not about to have some super formal dance. I grabbed her by the waist and spun her, lifted her up into the air and she laughed a little. I twirled her around and dipped her and we did all kinds of crazy moves with my awesome dance skills.

After a while it started to get dark. I sat down on an upward slanted driveway and looked up at her. I asked her, “Did I scare you?” She turned away, nodded, and said, “Yes, the sister thing…” I interrupted her, “I didn’t mean it like that, it wasn’t even the whole truth”.
“What do you feel then?” She asked.
I responded, “I like you, I like you a lot, and I’m really glad that we met ”.
After a short pause, she responded, “Thank you for telling me the truth”.
We walked down the sidewalk together. It was really dark now and the only light came from the houses around us. We got to my driveway and she said to me, “Let’s sit down and I’ll take you with me”. I assumed she meant out of the dream. We sat down together and looked up at the night sky. The music was still playing. I made fireworks start to go off. Streaks of red, blue, green, silver, and gold exploded across the sky. Little kids ran down the street, laughing while they chased each other with sparklers.

dream 2:
The earlier part I can remember, I was on a quest to find dreamer. I remember that I was traveling through space/time to find her. I ended up in the 60's or 70's, in a room filled with hippies. They had a huge bowl of weed and they were smoking. They tried to get me to smoke with them but I refused, because I was on a quest. So I jumped through space/time again, riding the waves of eddie van halen's guitar riffs. They were silver and they flowed with his music.

This time I ended up in a room with some people from my past. I had a conflict once with one of the guys that was there. He tried to sell me some acid for 5$ I think? I don't remember that well now. I just remember that he got upset and threatened to raise the price because he didn't like me. I bought it and put it in a freezer and then he was getting ready to fight with me. Another person from my past that I was once friends with joined him and they were going to try to beat me up. I tried to calm them down, because I didn't want to hurt them . I decided that it would be okay if they could pretend to fight me. So they pretended to punch me and beat me up like we were professional wrestlers. After awhile they felt better and that was good. So I continued on my quest!

I walked through a door and it teleported me to dreamer's room. Except it wasn't a room. It was outside in nature, on top of a cliffside. There was a long piece of outstretched bark that had a poem written on it. I don't remember exactly what it said but I thought it was pretty neat in the dream. I looked over and saw dreamer standing nearby, but I couldn't exactly see a physical appearance it was just a field of energy sort of. I walked over to her and gave her a big hug and it felt quite nice.

dream 3:
I had become lucid at the end of a dream. It ended before anything cool could happen, so I waited in the darkness for another dream to begin. The dream started in a shopping mall. I was sitting on the floor of a store, leaning up against a wooden wall. I got up and knew that I wanted to summon dreamer. I started looking around for her when I saw someone with purple hair and purple clothes. I looked closer and it was some asian girl in a wig. I noticed that there were a lot of people wearing this uniform of purple clothes and a purple wig. They were dreamer's fans. I asked one of them where dreamer was. She responded, "I Don't know...you look like trouble". Then she took off to report back to the boss. I followed her and grabbed the back of her shirt so that I wouldn't lose her. She led me to a store that had purple light inside. They had just released something fantastic and world changing. The DC in the purple wig walked up to dreamer, who was sitting high up on a shelf. I moved past the purple wig DC and walked up to dreamer. I asked her what she was doing all the way up there and she ignored me. I started to climb up to get to her and she turned into a cloud of purple smoke and then went into a handheld machine that looked like a gameboy. I turned on the device and some text moved across the screen. I woke up.

dream 4:
The earlier lucid part that I can remember, I was sitting in a room with myself as a kid and as a baby. I was staring at a TV for some reason when I realized that this was probably the worst way to possibly spend a lucid dream. I walked over to the little kid version of me and asked him if there was anything that he wanted to tell me. He said, "Where are the nerds at?!" I was pretty disappointed with that answer. I asked him again, "Is there anything that you want me to know?" He started talking about the nature of identity and love and I was getting really into it when the baby version of myself pushed a button on the ground and the little kid version of me sort of faded away slowly. I was a little upset and so I picked up the little baby me and it started to turn into an evil baby dc with magic powers. I tried to restrain it but it escaped from my grasp and ran under a blanket where it disappeared. The blanket went flat. I walked away, I didn't want to mess with such a potentially scary DC. I went outside by floating up and through some glass. I hit the glass and couldn't get through the first time I tried. I imagined that I was transparent and half phased into another reality. Tried again and I went right through the window. I floated a little too far though and started to move into a neighbor's house. I re-solidified my body but my thumbs were trapped in the neighbor's blinds so I had to break them off my hands. I remembered that I wanted to summon dreamer.

I did my thing and looked down the street and I thought I could see her coming towards me on a bike. I noticed that she was riding with a pack of other girls and they were all in their teens (including dreamer). I wasn't very satisfied with that. She turned into me. Weird. I focused on her energy and imbued the DC that was now me with that energy. The DC started to slowly changed. First all of it's hair fell out and the face started to transform. It wasn't a very pretty sight so I looked over at the teenage girl DCs to see what their problem was. They didn't seem very nice at all. I looked back and the transforming DC was now almost Dreamer. Her purple hair grew out of her head until it was a proper length and I was quite satisfied. The sun had almost completely set at this point.

I walked up to her and touched her forehead with mine. My lips brushed against her upper lip, and then her cheek. I kissed her. We started walking down the street to get to the main road. I remember that she asked me why I looked so tired. I told her that I was about to wake up, I couldn't stay in the dream for much longer. We got to the road and it was night time. The sky was mostly clear with a few clouds here and there. There was a small sleigh on the road that had a toy santa sitting on it and a couple of stuffed toy reindeer. I thought about using that for flying into the sky when I saw a much bigger one appear next to me with more toy reindeer and no santa. We started to climb onto it when it took off. We weren't completely on it yet so we were clinging to the back, trying to hold on as it flew into the sky. Woke up. So close to something awesome Oh well, next time!