Recent DJ Posts

Wanted to stick with SSILD for a while (at least 4 weeks) to try to LD regularly again. Want to keep this journal in the meanwhile on DV.

First night with SSILD, went to bed at 00:15, first time woke up at around 3, watch about 10 min of tv show with phone in bed then tried to ssild. Can remember the first and a half iterations clearly but easily distracted since then. But occasionally became aware of being able to "see" some fragments of imagination visually.

Woke up again later but quickly fell asleep, even though tried to ssild and had similar fragments of realizing I was seeing some imagination faintly.

Perhaps had false awakening? Can't be sure...

Did not woke up to do DJ at around 9. Now it's 11:30 and i can't recall anything about the dreams.

Overall: good start but keep up the work! Tomorrow should aim for starting your day with DJ.

In my work I found out that entry level people do more complex work than I do (not true), and I suggested that from now on I should be involved when they are getting their assignments to see who is more appropriate for a task. It was not that they were doing a poor job alas, but rather i felt inadequate, like i should be doing more complex work than them. I also found out that someone in another team, who in my dream was a retirement age biologist (but in waking life is not), I found out that he knows a lot about creating charts and that we could learn from him, but that he alas is retiring now so we can't. He was leaving and I felt deep respect for him, and had the sense it was mutual. In waking life I know almost nothing about this man other than he works on the same floor as I do, and is much younger than in my dream.

My younger son was lost. My mother called, but I said I could not talk and hung up on her without explaining why. I was combing the streets shouting his name when suddenly my husband appeared with my son. my husband was supposed to take a flight somewhere, and apparently our son tried to stowaway in the luggage and come with him, but was discovered at the airport. I was so relieved to see him.

I was in school, and remembered immediately that I need to a reality check because my school is one of my dream signs.
I looked at the clock, looked away, and it had changed, I kept doing it, about 3 times, and it kept changing.
Surprisingly, I didn't actually get that excited, so I stayed in the dream.
So, as soon as it hit me that I was dreaming, my vision twirled, and this yellow, Chinese/Korean, text appeared in front of me.
And then immediately, I was back to clear vision again.
I decided to tell one of my teachers I was dreaming and then I was watching her and her husband playing golf, and then I flashed back to where I was in the classroom.
So, I went through the day until I was in a computer suite. I told people I was dreaming, and they just went "Cool." and stuff.
Then I heard someone say "I need some earphones", so I tried to materialize one, it ended up looking like a pencil, but oh well, it was my first time, and he seemed to like it!
I was then at home, on my laptop, and I could hear my Mum, sister, and Dad come through the door, and I immediately had to tell my mum I was in a lucid dream!
When I told her, she started shouting "YOU'RE NOT! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU'RE SO SELFISH!" etc... and then I woke up.

-End-

Slept: 11:35 pm
Woke up: 5:02 am

The thought came to me as I woke up: "The only teacher is experience."

I was in college. I was hanging out with some friends. We were looking for a place to hang out after. It's night. Or maybe 3 am.

I passed by the school's food court/cafeteria, and saw a classmate who was careless and she dropped a whole plate of palabok, a noodly meal. I cringed at the wasted food, and I moved on to find my own food.

I saw some Archie comics there, and I really wanted to borrow and read them. But I don't want to be distracted. I saw one that shows them in the snow, Archie, Betty and Reggie.

I 'finished' reading it, and I was in a different location. Some sort of garage. I felt like we're preparing for a battle, or had a battle.

I ingested a traditional tribal "flood" dose of Iboga, a oneirogen that induces a waking dream state for 12 - 48 hours & has been used for centuries by the people of Gabon as a coming of age shamanic plant. Basically you're Lucid Dreaming while awake. I decided to take the root when I found out about it & how unlike hallucinogens the visions you receive from Iboga are not vague or open to much interpretation. Many people see parts of their life replayed, they feel the pain or joy their actions caused. Some see deities or significant people in their life including people who've passed away. Some people claim it's the tree of knowledge of good & evil from the bible.

It was risky for me to begin with because I have a heart condition & Iboga is very intense on the heart. The idea is to experience complete ego death which is followed by all the visions. Going through hell to get to heaven. Knowing this I decided to take the root right before going into the emergency room so in case if anything happened I would be in good hands.

I was really yearning for a spiritual aspect to my life which had been lost. All my life I was told what to believe mixed with my own beliefs & thoughts about all these different possibilities. I felt as if it would be best for me to experience what is true for me spiritually myself. So I decided ego death & true transcendence along with visions of my life would give me some answers. Needless to say, I was not disappointed.



It started to come on subtlety at first, in the emergency room waiting area things became very dim & dead looking like all the warmth to colors was slowly being sucked out. I started to feel as if I was riding some giant wave of reality in isolation of everything around me. Like the world could swallow me whole at any moment. I started to get worried because the waiting room was full & only 30 minutes into a 2 day experience I could already feel some effects. I kept trying to stress the fact I had ingested something that could send me into a psychotic break, get sick, or kill me. That I needed to be in a bed with a heart monitor & people who could check on me & bring me water while I began to purge.

I eventually get to a room & there's a bed, I'm questioned by doctors nurses & staff constantly as I'm starting to trip. I tell them I ingested it for spiritual purposes & that I should avoid being overstimulated. I purposefully brought a long a sleeping mask & my phone to play music to help move things along. As soon as we made it to the room all this was taken as a precautionary measure to ensure I wouldn't try to hurt myself or someone with it. They kept questioning me for what seemed like an hour. The first part of the trip felt like my body was trying to escape reality, the conscious voice in my head got increasingly paranoid about death, going crazy, saying something wrong to the doctors or nurses. I increasingly was drawing a complete blank as I was being questioned, I kept saying umm more & more as thoughts escaped my mind. My consciousness was becoming consumed with fear as I lost the ability to think & create a coherent sentence. One doctor made me feel guilty saying I ingested a hallucinogen & I was wasting taxpayer money in my "recreational pursuit". This was a search for truth, for meaning. Eventually I asked to be left alone trying to avoid over-stimulation after I answered the same questions about 5 times to 5 different people.

I drank some water which was brought to me & my heart starts pounding like crazy, I hear this intense buzzing in my ears that sounds like I'm near a high voltage transformer or surrounded by beehives. My heart is spiking off the charts on the monitor & I'm told I went into VTAC Ventricular Tachycardia (where your heart beats so fast it could stop). I'm so nauseated & worried at this point I purge into a bucket this green liquid, it looks like I puked up part of the hulk or Nickelodeon slime. I start to feel this energy building at the base of my spine, like hot magma or electricity charging up. At this point my heart is going so fast I'm convinced I won't make it through this & that before I knew it I would be moving onto whatever's next. At this point my ego is just screaming in my head like it wants to murder me, "You're going to wake up insane, you're heart is exploding get ready for the pain, you're dead.. nice job".



Eventually after what seemed like hours of fighting between death & my mind I accept death. With acceptance I slowly start seeing with my eyes closed - red very strongly, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, then violet. As this is happening I feel that magma, that energy, that electricity building at the base of my spine slowly move up as I accept my fate. I kept thinking of mercury moving up a thermometer. With complete acceptance I jolted out into the universe a soul past the purple into an infinite white light. Being a part of it but there was no sense of "I" no me, no body, pure spirit & an overwhelming sense of connectedness & unconditional love overwhelming every ounce of being. Being one with the big bang, forget infinite energy, light, the realest thing you could sense in there was pure joy, bliss, unconditional love, complete peace. No thought, stillness, nothingness, the void.

I wake up sometime later after being moved to what I learn later is the ICU. I'm incredibly lucid & the personal visions are starting to come, I'm so lucid it's like the power of lucidity carried over into waking life. I imagine this medical light on the ceiling that looks like a mushroom cap stretching & changing shape. As I believe it stretches it does so & it really seems to work when I send it unconditional love from my chest. I imagine stretching it so far with love I eventually break through the ceiling into another room.



The first room I broke through into was like a dusty old worn down house with cobwebs all over, wooden floors, a broken window, & it looked like something no one would really appreciate. I notice in the dream I'm wearing clothes that appear to be like Link from Zelda. I'm greeted by two groups of people to my right. One of which is very happy, joyful, they have an inner-childlike sense to them. Curious, compassionate, encouraging, happy to be alive. They're cheering me on & saying great things about the room appreciating everything. I get the sense this is what I must do to move on. Love the room impartially, seeing the good in it. The other group of people seems miserable, they're void of color full of grays & find fault with the room saying things like "Ewww". I decide this is not the direction I want to take & I break down the wall by loving the place I'm at.

I end up in another room & another they're all very similar except each consecutive room is characterized by things of the chakra system. It seemed as though I was breaking down walls to move energy from the 1st chakra (the root) to the 7th chakra (the crown). The root is at the base of the spine & the crown is at the top of the head. A hierarchy of energy from the base of the spine to the top of the head; from the physical aspects of existence to the spiritual. Overall all the same lessons were to be learned. If I hesitated in loving a room, in breaking down a wall I was sent back to the beginning. It seemed like my visions were very influenced by the video games I played growing up. After a lot of tries I made it to the heart chakra (the central 4th & central chakra, the point where the physical aspects of our world become intertwined with the spiritual). Tibetan Buddhists believe the heart is responsible for the white light I saw, the white light people describe seeing before death right before moving onto the next life. Once I got to the heart alot of the questions I wanted answers to started getting answered.



I wanted to know who my soul mate was, what the meaning of life is, why we're here, what is truth for me. The first answer I got was about my soul mate. Right before the trip I was torn between this girl Windy & a girl Samantha I had just met who reminded me of Windy. Then it seems as though Windy had forgotten all about me but she holds such a big place in my heart I wasn't ready to move on. A free spirit, a soul that burns in the night with a deep passion for life, a fire within that you only read about. Her way of living inspired me to begin my spiritual journey which led me to this point. Little did I know there's a reason I dream of her almost every night, why I get Deja Vu around her so much, why when we first met I felt us both gaze into each others souls & I had this incredible sensation like we had met before. Iboga showed me we're soul mates & now I'm left waiting for the right time, for a chance to be her friend. If I ever get that chance I'll make it last until the end. In the vision when I reached the heart chakra I heard my voice boom out loud like I was asking who my soul mate was, it happened automatically like I didn't even have to think of it. It was like because I wrote down all my questions before taking the root the questions were already programmed into my subconscious to be asked later. As soon as that happened Windy appeared on a green lotus flower platform suspended in space & from there she yelled "Kenny! I love you! with such enthusiasm it warmed my soul. I heard her say "We're meant for eternity, our love will stand the test of time". The platform symbolized her heart chakra as I was on mine we communicated our love & our platforms moved together suspended in space until we were together & hugged & kissed with such passion I could feel a beam of love going from my heart to hers with such pure joy & ecstasy it was as if we became one in that moment & our souls were in complete bliss just combining with the others counter part.

Every part of this experience seemed more real than waking life & everyone I saw that I knew personally seemed to be their true self, like the inner child in them was fully out to be them-self, they were so creative & enthusiastic & passionate about everything they did or said. That alone was inspiring to me, passion is a big part of a joyful existence. Enthusiasm, joy, an inner curiosity & appreciation for everything. Every moment. Being true to yourself & not letting your mind convince you to hide or discard aspects of yourself. We have to laugh at the mind, our fears, doubts, insecurities, repression, limiting beliefs. They're all the enemies of progress & reaching our true potential I feel like I got the answers to my other questions through breaking through the walls & becoming one with the clear white light, pure consciousness, connectedness, bliss, joy, I'm a part of everything & everyone as they're a part of me. Unconditional love is the most powerful force in the universe & we have to learn to appreciate everything we do have. I live in America & have a car, a guitar. Do you know how amazing that is? We should all be happy when our basic needs are met because some people don't even have that luxury! Don't wait until you're nearly dead to start being grateful!

This by far was the most beneficial experience I've ever had even though it almost killed me it's like every day is a gift now. When the experience was over I was exhausted & slept for quite a while, when I woke up i saw the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen from my hospital bed & I was so grateful to be alive, I made sure all the doctors & nurses knew how much I appreciated them taking care of me. I still laugh because when I woke up the kept asking me all these funny questions in case if I had gone crazy.. You did this for spiritual reasons? You said you were selfish before? Do you think eating is selfish?



Beliefs shape our reality, lucidity will show you that so take what you learn with lucidity back to waking life & meet your true potential, that is my foremost goal. Don't be afraid to explore, reintegrate lost parts of yourself, face nightmares with love & see what happens. Lucidity is an invaluable tool. In my second lucid dream ever through belief I was able to experience that ego-less state once again & I woke up feeling great! I highly recommend reading "Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self" by Robert Waggoner if you get the chance. I'm now completely committed to Lucidity for life. I ordered the Remee lucid dreaming mask & I'm so happy, this marks the beginning of my dream journal here & the beginning of my journey to the inner self. To reintegrating every last lost part of me. Healing what I rejected in the past & facing any & all fears. Going on adventures to space, Europe, Australia, Africa, Egypt, the Amazon all with my soul mate Windy who is still in my dreams almost every night (I bought an engagement ring by the way) & I'm saving it until the right time. Thanks for reading! I hope maybe I can inspire someone to strive for lucidity or to just go after their dreams I know my beliefs aren't for everyone. Happy dreaming

I once had a dream I was an inter-dimensional travelling "mage" class type character. I actually remember the map I pulled out and looked at in order to travel between dimensions...as far as the vivid imagery is concerned I was more like a god of my own realm in this sense...I actually had a companion with me, another mage, but I didnt know who he was or I cant remember his looks to know if he exists IRL.

The coolest part about this dream though was when I opened a portal to another dimension and I actually woke up...after waking up I remember thinking bad thoughts because I didnt get to see what was inside the portal. Then I tried going back into the same dream. I actually was able to enter this dream and see myself come out of a portal...whether or not it was the same portal I entered is beyond me, however I know now from this experience it is possible to re-enter the same "concept" of the dream you "lost".

This was worth the dream all together in my mind...Has anyone else had this experience before?

This is basically the first time I had a bit of control in a lucid dream. I've known about lucid dreaming fr months but never practiced or tried to do it until i met WakingNomad, a user here who I know in school. I overheard him talking about it and I joined the conversation and things led to another and datz y im here.

I had my first experience last nyt. I'm used to doing reality checks. I was in a dream and did a reality check, I was dreaming. When I realized I was dreaming I was half-concsious in order to keep dreaming I remembered the technique 'dream spinning' to spin around and think of wer u want to go or about anything..wat i write here im not sure is going to be in the order of events but i'll try to make it in order as possible if i remember.

I spun and wanted to go to the moon and remembered wat WakingNomad told me about a spaceship. So as I was spinning I recited to myself that it was a dream in order to not forget. Then suddenly I was in a spaceship and it started blasting off..It felt like real. I was piloting it, amazing I knew how. I was trying to get to the moon but it was hard. I felt lyk I was in a video game I had to go through santa sleighs tht were chasing me and every time I passed an area, they would go to another area and be even more than the previous area. I didn't get to the moon. I got sidetracked. All of a sudden I meet this person and I start singing off of music from his ipod then all of a sudden the setting changes agen.. I don't know if I still remembered it was a dream. But then I saw psYfr my friend also in waking life that is doing this lucid dreaming stuff with me, we both started doing reality checks just a couple of days ago. I'm still not sure if it was him but he appeared in my dream along with his best frend, Six, that he mentioned lucid dreaming about and has now just started practicing it as well. I saw her in a dream I knew what she looked like from pictures but never in person. I don't remember seeing her face but it was her and i felt it was her. We were doing some sort of presentation Six was supposed to come out dancing first but she missed her cue. So she just went next to me and said "dont make fun of me" I said "I won't but Aaron definitely will". I missed my cue to sing too..Then Six started showing me videos of her tap dancing from her cell phone datz wen PsYfr (Aaron) cam out singing he was the only one on cue actually performing he walked around wyl singing..Pointed to me while he sung one line then my sister Aj appeared and PsYfr took her by the hand and she danced wile he sung.
All of a sudden I remembered perfectly it was a dream and I saw WakingNomad.I don't remember seeing his face but I knew it was him somehow. I asked him is that really you? He said yes. Then I said prove it. Tell me something about me in our waking life and he said "He hates it wen people go up and down" didn't make sense but it made sense while in the dream. (NOTE: WakingNomad didn't remember meeting me but he said he always said weird things in dreams to ppl so they wud b reminded that it was a dream) anyways he then said i hav something to sho u and we went on a bus (NOTE: wen i mentioned this to WakingNomad the next day he didn't remember a dream but he said he always took people on a MoonBus which I had no clue about. So this proves it was really WakingNomad I saw in that dream) the bus then stopped and WakingNomad ran down and before I could chase after him something stopped me from chasing him back.I felt lyk I left something on the bus then wen I looked down at my hand i was wavy. Another reality check I did..and i pinched my nose and took a normal breath and it worked. I was lucid and was amazed that reality checks did work in dreams. It was my first time to do this kind of stuff and I was amazed. The bus driver was a woman that's all I remember when I looked at her then I became half concsious agen and eventually woke up completely..
NOTE: in my dream while i spun for the first time i thought of the spaceship and partly about psYfr since he's been in my mind for a wyl in waking life. Maybe that's y he was partly in my dream..was it really him??i have yet to find out!

Date: Aug.22/23 Sunday
Time: around 8:40 am

Description: To start off I want to explain something. I had this as my very 1st lucid dream to date that I can remember. I had another more lucid one right after this with more details and events and more control, but I will post that at a future time. Most of this is straight out of my dream journal by my bed. I also apologize if it doesn't seem like there weren't many details, the dream really only lasted about 1 minute.

Dream: The dream starts off with me looking at a stack of ps3 games and on top of them are ps2 games, I can't remember any of the titles but I think the very top ps2 game was NHL 2003. As I look at the stack I rotate them to see their spines. The games are sitting on my wooden brown desk at the center. I am sitting on my knees on the ground, and I notice my nephew on my computer struggling to play the ps2 games (pcsx2 for anyone that knows the program). So I tell him to move over so I can go to set it up. He gives me this look of frustration as he looks at the clock in my room, which I think (he never tells me, but I assume) that he has to go soon, that him and his dad are leaving. I tell him "Chill dude, it takes an hour to setup anyways." As I look at the screen and see some text, the text onscreen seem to shift and shake (that could of been my eyes, kind of like the shaky vision you get from drinking to much alcohol) and strange runic symbols appear. At that precise moment I yell out "HOLY CRAP, I AM DREAMING!" My stomach goes to butterflies and I get really excited. I fall backwards, and the scene starts to zoom out, I get the feeling you get when going down hills on a roller coaster, and now I am in a black void so to speak, I instantly remember the spinning technique that Laberge created. To re stabilize the dream, it works for a moment as I zoom back into the dream, I notice someone was sitting to my right, the lights were off and the glow of the computer screen was the only light source, I don't know who this third person was, my suspect is my nephews younger brother. I don't know. Now I zoom back out as soon as I touch down in the scene again but I kinda of lose consciousness so to speak. Now I imagine myself spinning, now a new seen appears where I am high above a city with lots of buildings, they all have a purple glow about them, I can tell it is night time, cause I see the windows have lights coming from out them. I am above the city, but again lose consciousness again (I mean everything turns pitch black) and I shoot out of my real bed, it takes me a moment to collect myself as this was the most intense thing of my life.

Other details: One extra detail I need to say, is once I went lucid, the feeling of being there was so real, except for it feeling like my body was kind of heavy or light, gravity on me seemed way different.

So there it is, I hope you guys have comments, I am interested in what you have to say about the experience, and it was an experience cause I really was there, it wasn't a memory of a dream, I was there!