• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. 21 May: Weird orphanage ruled by androids

      by , 05-21-2019 at 09:08 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I am at an underground labyrinth looking for Dragon Balls. I spot a couple of them moving in different ways through corridors. I follow one direction, with a long corridor ending in huge stairs. It is very dark, so I imagine some lights illuminating the stairs, but not much light comes on. When I reach the top of the stars, I see a torch burning but it still is dark. Then a lady android, 2 meters tall, blocks my path and drags me down. I get rid of her, but she keeps going after me. I go around this place, which now looks like a vintage hotel. I find a kid and a guy, who are husband and daughter of the android lady (also androids). They also want to catch me, but I escape flying. I find a room with two human kids, surprised to see me. They ask me to hide, they are afraid the androids will come and see me. They suggest I go out the window and hang on the ledge outside. It's an old building with heavy wooden frames and it is possible to pass from window to window holding on to the wooden ledges. So I go watch other windows. I see other kids on other rooms. They are desperate to share messages. One girl delivers me a message, says some names and that I have to tell whomever that such and such must do whatever.
      At daylight I go back inside the building disguised as cleaning lady. It doesn't work so well. There is an android receptionist who is not fooled, but she is very slow reacting, so I run inside and hide under a table. Then I find a big hall where all the kids are sitting at round tables, cheerful. I deliver them the message from the girl before and they thank me.
      Then I have to hide again as androids join in. Later, when they leave, I sit with the kids and eat what seems fried fish. In front of me I see Trevor Noah and we have to share the same glass of water, because there is no other glass available. I joke about it and he seems to feel more awkward than gross.
    2. Cold Water Casino

      by , 05-15-2019 at 03:06 AM (The Fourth Factor)
      Iím on a trip with my parents and an unfamiliar young man. We were all supposed to go to a casinoóand they did actually go. But I didnít care much for that plan, and so Iíve been off doing something else and only arrived back at the hotel room in time for their last trip there, late on the final evening.

      I have the impression that this is a place theyíre familiar with, but this will be my first time there. Iíve been told not to bring my purse with me for whatever reason, but I donít like going around without writing materials on hand, and so I say that Iíll just take my wallet out before I go. But it seems my parents are so eager to get back that, rather than waiting the couple of minutes this will take, they go on without me, leaving the young man to drive us there.

      Outside, itís raining hard, and has been for a while, judging by all the standing water in the streets. As we go on, it only gets deeper, until the car, which is a fairly low one, starts having trouble moving forward. Some light on the dashboard has come on. He curses at the caróand quite probably my parents, who would have had no trouble handling this in theirs. I suggest that we just pull off the road onto higher ground, as some other cars seem to be doing, and walk the rest of the way there. It isnít very far. He agrees to it.

      The next part I remember clearly is being inside the casino, in a large room with a grand staircase, crowded with fancily dressed people. On the upper floor, near a restaurant area, I meet up with my parents again. Itís sort of like a buffet, with tables in a horseshoe shape, each one with an attendant behind them, offering samples of various kinds of foods to the guests. Mother is going to get a chocolate milkshakeóapparently, a favorite of hers thereóbut my father isnít interested. The idea doesnít appeal much to me either, and anyways, this is all new to me: I want to try things out before I order anything.

      He heads off somewhere else. I get some kind of a soup, and then head over to where theyíre serving white wine. I try the sample they have there, which is pretty goodóbut they have all kinds of interesting drinks here, and this would be a good chance to try things I wouldnít necessarily want a full glass of. And my mother is trying to get my attention from across the room, so I leave the table without ordering anything and head over in her direction.

      Then, suddenly, I feel a spray of cold wateróand the people around me do as well, judging by how theyíre crying out. It seems someone is spraying people with a hose. I move out of the way, wondering what that was about. Maybe the casino staff themselves are responsible. The whole reason this place exists is to take money from people, after allóI think itís best not to lose sight of thatóand it wouldnít surprise me at all for one to start charging people to keep things going nicely, once theyíve got them used to it.

      Once out of range, I pause and kneel down to make sure the cat is still with me. He is indeed still there and comes to get pet. Heís an orange cat, an adult, though on the small side, and has been here with me this whole time. So far, nobody has noticed himóor else they just donít care. But itís still a little dangerous for him to be here with me, and so Iíve been making sure he stays close, waiting until I feel him against the back of my ankles before moving on.

      11.5.19
      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. 22 Apr: Golf with Trump, flying car, all-I-can-eat and dog killers

      by , 04-22-2019 at 10:05 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At some place, playing with someone's toys and I see a gorgeous realistic doll. The owner says it is for sale and not very expensive, still it's 39Ä. For this type of collectible it is cheap, but still is 39Ä for a doll, so I get really divided and can't decide to buy it.
      Meanwhile, Riverstone comes along and he asks me for some money and I go to my wallet and have packs of money. I start taking all the bills out for counting and ask Riverstone to help. He starts counting and I need to go do something else but I more or less evaluate how much money that was from my week sales and it is quite a lot. I feel glad.

      Dad invited for some event with VIPs. He takes me along. He joins a bunch of old white people who are down in the garden playing a kind of mini golf and Trump is among them. When it's Trump's turn, he does some weird trick and my dad is under the impression he cheated. But from my viewpoint I don't think so, so I tell him that. My dad gets upset that Trump might actually be a good player. Anyway, as I watch closely this group of old pathetic weirdos, all sucking up to trump, I just feel compassion for the poor fucks, including the Donald himself who simply looks like a clown unaware of his own ridiculousness.
      Meanwhile they are being watched from afar by a group of younger people and I notice some dude staring at me and quite a few others also looking like wondering who am I and why I am among the old geezers. Then I get a big smack in the face. It's a girlfriend that just saw me there and is totally surprised to see me there. I wonder the same. She confesses she is around for something else and spotted me with that group and had to come and check.

      Back home (childhood home), I am with my dad and my three cats. My mom has a friend and some family coming over for a dinner and she got drunk on some liquor. I ask the name of it, because I also try it and it is really tasty. When the family members leave, my mom goes out with her friend. My dad is at the bathroom and when he comes out he gets really scared at something. I heard a noise, but I see nothing strange. Then I see the front door completely open and ask if that's why he got scared. He says no, but also doesn't explain, just goes to get some tools to fix something. I close the door and immediately go check on my cats. One by one I find them deeply asleep in different rooms. I feel relieved.

      Parking one of my cars at home (the farm), I notice something weird: my van is not a van, but a second small car. I go check and it is a flying car. I take it for a ride through the country. People walking below get scared but I am high enough not to be a danger. Then I slow down at the next village and an old neighbor who is walking his dogs makes several complaints. We discuss back and forth, but I tell him not to worry. If we conclude the car or my driving are dangerous, I will stop it. So the grumpy old man and I depart in good terms. Then his son comes along, arrogant, no respect for anyone and he wants to sue me. He carries on bragging about his properties and his rich inheritance as if it had anything to do with this situation.

      Doing a Buddhist retreat, staying at some big hostel, several floors high. I find my room, I am tired and just wanna go to my bunk bed. I start dressing my pajama pants, but my neighbor from the bed below invites me to go to the cafeteria for a while. I have very little money that I can spend but I am definitely hungry., so I accept. She actually needed someone to talk to. She says she gave an interview to some media and she is afraid she might have said too much about our retreat. I tell her I always share just the basic and other things I refer to my teachers and if they need, they can ask them. She orders something to drink, I order some kind of yellow thin pancake, the cheapest thing in the menu and then some generous folks come buy with plates full of food, leftovers they want to share, toasts, pasta, sponge cake... I am so happy and don't want to look greedy but I immediately dive on these plates and eat from all of it.

      Some guy who's into booze comes to find his drinking bottle grew and stretched into the sky like the bean stalk from the fairytale.

      Some graphic news on tv about a lady haidresser and her boyfriend who became dogs serial killers, because supposedly she was going through difficulties and started eating dog meat and cooking it to sell to others. They show graphic footage of her cooking live puppies in a barbecue and cutting the neck of a grand danois.
    4. Saturday, April 6

      by , 04-10-2019 at 07:03 AM
      I am at the Alibi brewery with Melissa. It looks mostly different though - the bar area is smaller and seems shorter, with seating at the counter. It faces the chalkboard tap list and wraps around the end at a 90 degree angle, which is where we sit. It is not very crowded, but there is a fair amount of people, probably right before it gets busy. It is dim and laid back. Right away, a blond girl in her early 20s comes over to get our drink orders. Naturally, Melissa wants a water. She then looks to me, but I havenít had enough time to choose a beer. I know there is one that I want, but I canít think of the name. I say ďuhÖĒ while looking at the list, hoping sheíll help me out a little. Instead, she just says something like ďwow, you do hate me/why do you hate me?Ē It couldíve been a playful joke, but with the way she said it, it came off as serious. She leaves and them comes back later for a food order. Melissa gets chicken strips. Iím still pretty turned off by the girlís comment, so I donít think I get anything, and she doesnít seem to care anyway. Melissa now has her chicken strips, and they have brought me a beer. Itís only about ľ full. I sip it, and it is the one I was thinking of (it tastes like some German style, maybe a doppelbock?) and tastes good. I just canít really believe they served it that empty, so I snapchat it to Brittney. The bill is $40, $20 a person I figure. I want to tip her absolutely nothing, and I donít think it would be unjustified. I consider writing her a note on the receipt as well.
      Tags: beer, brewery, food, tip
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    5. Tuesday, March 19

      by , 03-22-2019 at 03:05 AM
      I am at what looks like work, out on the floor and at a table (that is not really there) by the registers. There are a few different cakes that Mom has made sitting out. I think sheís sitting here too. Iím trying the cakes, and they are really good. Walking around now, I see only Beth ringing and what looks like a forming line. When I go to help, I see that the Ďlineí of people are still looking around. There is something about the Grateful Deadís Ďworstí show that happened to be played in Mexico. I think I am currently listening to it. It is very short. I think there are only six songs in the first set and one short song before drums in the second. I think there is a song with Bob and some female pop singer that really just doesnít sound like them. Kat is here, and I tell her it is pretty terrible. Then I realize she was at the show and I donít want to sound mean; I say itís still fine because itís the GD, but it is bad for their standards.
    6. Tuesday, February 19

      by , 02-22-2019 at 02:29 AM
      I am at some small event in some smaller event room. There are people from work here as well as Sage and maybe her boyfriend. I have come here with Makayla; I think it is somewhere in California. Makayla calls Mom to ask if we can stay here for dinner. I say, mostly to myself since sheís on the phone, that Mom could throw us a 20 and it would help. Mom says yes, inciting a subdued bout of excitement. I envision taking an Uber back just as a humorous scenario, mentally gawking at what it would cost if they even go that far. I am seated now, at the end of one of two tables that abuts the other. Against the wall and on smaller display tables are the beers on tap. Each actually looks like its own little machine - they range in appearance from slushee machines to small drink vending machines, etc, each with their own design for the beer within. Evelyn from work is looking at them all, very closely. I wasnít going to go up and look at them alone, so I take this opportunity. There are some fairly good options, but nothing amazing. I think I see the Sierra Nevada Torpedo. I think there is a porter and a hefeweizen, the hefe in what looks like a pineapple yellow pina colada machine. I think its name is slightly off - actually Heineken or something? I think I decide to pass on it because it seems like a bad imitation of the style. I think I end up with a glass of the Torpedo. Iím now seated again, across from Sage and maybe her boyfriend. The apparent host, a petite, bald, bespectacled man wearing a white apron around his waist, is coming around and jovially making sure everything and everyone is okay. Everyone seems to be uplifted by this quaint manís demeanor. He takes Sageís order, which is Ďspare porkí. I now see a plate of it in front of her, three or four generously sized slices of pork. He looks at me now, and I want the same thing, but Ďspare porkí sounds wrong, so I say instead Ďthe same thingí. I notice my drink is a few sips away from being empty. I want to order another while I have the service available, but I also donít want to ask for more while I still have some.




      I am working a wedding. I am standing outside and near the entrance gate to what seems to be a large, upscale country club. Everything seems spread out, showcasing the grassy, and in places marshy, land. It seems like a pleasant day. I am holding a fairly big gift bag - it is for the couple whom I just saw but now cannot find. I feel sort of out of place. I want to get this gift to them, but guests keep showing up, expecting me to direct them. A lifted, impossibly white truck approaches; the driver is impeccably clean cut and dressed in an effortlessly classy and flattering suit. Through his open window, he tells me that he likes my shoes. They are my new ones (that I bought at work). Iím also wearing dress pants and a tucked dress shirt. He now asks me where the Ďhalfway pointí is, and I hesitate. He asks again, kind of snootily, as if I should know right away. It makes me feel kind of stupid. I then recall an image of a white line on some asphalt, so I tell the man to continue on and he will see the halfway point marked with a white line, gesturing with my hands. To my left, I see the asphalt walkway meandering through and then becoming obscured by some tall grasses. I see men in suits walking with girls in dresses, all pastel colors, and it is idyllic. I now start walking, but I am not on any walkway. The ground is marshy; my feet start to sink enough to get the tops of my shoes wet. Beth has apparently been watching me and asks what Iím doing. I inwardly agree with her sentiment and start to come back. I still want to give them this gift though, so I start again, though this time I seem to be holding onto some kind of ledge and traversing with my feet also on some small lip of something more solid than the marsh. It all seems cramped and small and obscured by the foliage. *It is as Iím doing this that I hear my alarm go off.




      Mom is in my room and has apparently been going through my stuff, as she is holding up whatís left of a joint in a plastic bag that was hidden in my laundry basket. She seems really upset, mad, or disappointed. Iím not sure why; itís really not that big of a deal to me. Sheís also holding some new clothes she got for me. There are some tank tops on hangers and some red and blue underwear that look more like Speedos. I take them and hang them in the closet; they are a tight fit. I think Iím getting ready to go to class or work.




      I am in the bathroom with Melissa. I am naked at least from the waist down, and using some hair removal cream? on my pubic region. For whatever reason, I start rubbing it on my lower legs, until it starts to feel like thereís less hair (I didnít intend to remove the hair on my legs). I tell Melissa I just accidentally removed all my leg hair and she doesnít believe me. I rub my legs, feeling only skin and stubble.
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    7. Saturday, February 9

      by , 02-17-2019 at 12:38 AM
      I am walking up to a restaurant with Mom and Makayla. It is dim or dark outside. I think this place is Italian. Weíre greeted by a hostess at a table on a little covered section outside the place. She seems sort of somber and then ends up telling Mom something like Ďsorry about Catholic Charitiesí. I think she is going to relay to the manager that weíre here. We walk in, passing all the tables, and end up in a large back room. It seems like itís more for staff. There are a few giant pizzas and large portions of side dishes set out on table clothed tables. Some employees are casually coming and going while weíre in here, so casual that I hear one cuss. I now grab some food. I go back for some mac Ďní cheese, the underside of which is badly burnt, a black crisp. I think it still tastes fine. There is a subdued sense of excitement that this is going to be comped because they actually care what happened with Catholic Charities.
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    8. Friday, February 8

      by , 02-17-2019 at 12:37 AM
      Iím in some fairly upscale restaurant with Mom. it sort of looks like the Atlantis buffet. We walk up to a counter. Thereís a server, white, probably late 20ís, in all white, a chefís hat too, I think, what comes up to greet us. Mom says something about a drink - beer or wine?- and I get concerned for a second. She specifies to him ďClausthalerĒ, and he pours one. There is also dessert - I think for us. The man is putting pieces of cake on separate plates, focusing on an appealing display.
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    9. Sunday, February 3

      by , 02-15-2019 at 11:28 PM
      I am in a house (unfamiliar, I think). Paranormal things keep happening, such as some invisible force moving things and/or touching me. It feels very real, though Iím not sure if anyone else is seeing it.




      I am going to an event for/at the preschool. Some others filter in along with me, some familiar. I recognize kids and parents. Inside, there are quite a few people here. It looks like an elementary school. Thereís the cafeteria weíre in, the doorway we came in and one directly opposite it, and one hallway off to the left. All in all, itís pretty small. I see Mom here, talking to a few, and she is in what looks like a stroller. (I think this is due to a disability, but I very much take it for granted in the dream). She spots me also, but is waiting to come over to me. I am overhearing talk of the disarray that Catholic Charities is still in. Tim Mills is here too; we pat a hand on each otherís shoulders in greeting. Surveying the tables, I see everyone already has food, mostly cheeseburgers. This makes me realize that Iím pretty hungry. I wish I wouldíve ordered one, thinking that it is probably too late to do so now, that theyíre done making them for the evening. Now I am sitting by Nelson and his dad. His dad is combing Nelsonís hair, which looks slightly longer and thinner and almost a translucent, fluorescent white-blond. Heí combing it into almost a Trump-do. Nelson sits placidly. Dan is talking to me about haircuts, but Iím finding it difficult to hear. My responses at times are nonsensical because I canít hear and donít want to ask for a repetition. They start leaving, and I follow suit. We leave through what very much looks like a houseís garage (the two getting into a black truck/SUV parked within). Melissaís car is a few feet to the right, perpendicularly in the street. Sheís sitting inside, on her phone. I go up to open window and am going to say something, in a humorous tone, about her moving, but before I can she says she already knows sheís in the street. Dan apparently didnít think she was in the way, as heís already backing out, pretty quickly. I ask Melissa if she wants to hang out now or not. She says she doesnít care and that itís up to me, to which I say the same exact thing. We end up going home (to Momís?).
    10. 9 Feb: Monsters and a wedding

      by , 02-09-2019 at 10:43 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Inspired in the latest Sandra Bullock movie, which I haven't seen, I am with some kids and friends in the country. There is a haunted house we are in, teaching the kids on how not to be attacked by the ghosts. They react to thoughts and emotions. When we think about it, they appear. We make a giant dark figure stretch his arms through a door, almost getting us. But as long as we have no fear they can't harm us, so I face the monster fearlessly and he can't touch me.
      Then someone inspired by Game of Thrones or whatever, projects on us some hardcore body armors with helmets with long horns and secret weapons and turns us into ass kicking warriors, so no one is afraid of no ghosts anymore.


      Going to marry Jaime. I am organizing my own wedding and it is a vegan wedding. The music for the aisle walking is the Imperial March. I am doing all preparations myself. All guests are seated and I am in my dress but I am also with a mop and a bucket doing last minute cleanings. The groom is late so someone decides we should have the food first. Then some last minute guests come and Cory Booker is one of them. My friends don't know him, I tell them he is a candidate for president of the USA and vegan. One asks me if he is democrat or republican and I answer. We seat and we eat soup.
    11. Sunday, January 20

      by , 02-02-2019 at 11:59 PM
      I am walking along a fairly busy sidewalk when a larger black man wearing grey sweatpants and a darker sweatshirt starts to come up to me, asking for spare change. I sort of feel like I have to oblige, but instead of giving him some, I ask if heís hungry and tell him to come with me. I kind of get the impression that he just wanted the money instead. He seems quiet and despondent. I ask what heís hungry for, and he mutters Ďchickení. I start to go to a McDonaldís because I know thereís one close. When we get there, he gravitates towards a black lady about his age (late 30s?) who also appears homeless. They start talking, and Iím pretty sure I leave because heís no longer paying attention to me.




      I am parking in what looks like the Beer Nv parking lot. I back into one of the staggered spaces, noticing a truck in one of the spaces behind me taking up almost most of its space. When I get out, I see a thin layer of snow or frost and also that Iíve backed in perfectly. I can see that the car is equidistant from each side, as well as the front and back. I see a woman walking around, tapping kind of forcefully on cars. She is checking them for something as if sheís some kind of authority. There are others here; they comment on her lack of uniform or identification. The communal fervor bolsters assurance, but a sense of just what to do about it is still lacking. I am now sitting in my car, and sheís trying to talk to me through the closed window. I ask her for identification and she ignores it. I think sheís slightly irked that I leave my window up but knows she canít do anything about it. I think sheís wearing black cargo pants and a dark/black sweatshirt. I simply press my license up to the window. There are some papers on the passenger seat, receipts and other car care records. One of them is a receipt for gas I just got; I press it up to the window facetiously.
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    12. 1 Feb: Helping an alien

      by , 02-01-2019 at 08:37 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Arriving at mom's. It's late night, dark, suddenly a light flashes in the sky and I see a UFO disappearing. Then another just passing in the other direction. It curves and comes park right where I am. But it turns out to be a man in a flying sports car. He sees me, says 'oh, you saw me', pretending to be surprised, but I smell bull.
      Then we hear someone else coming. He wants to leave, but his car has some problem and doesn't fly, can only move on the ground. He freaks out, is becoming restful and lets out that he is actually an alien in a ship pretending to be a man and that he is being chased. He is scared and clearly not a threat so I help him. I suggest to leave the car/ship and escape uphill where we can try to hide in some guy's bar, but it doesn't work, the guy kicks us out of the bar. So we go down a dark road into the woods. And we are followed by a bunch of dogs and cute puppies.
      We find a place to take cover and we talk all night long, we bond. In the morning I lead him to a house while we figure what to do. But a lot of people come to this house and get busy with cleanings. Before we leave I see a lot of food in the kitchen and I fill a bag for me and my friend to take. Someone sees me and says that's not for trash, but to be distributed to someone like homeless people, so I feel bad and put back some of it, but keep one bag with me, because we are hungry. Then we leave.
      There is a pool outside. I need to pee, try to find some place behind some bushes, but these guys cleaning the house see me and scare me and I almost fall inside the pool.

      Updated 05-22-2019 at 09:09 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    13. 13 Jan: Orphan in India, satellites and tsunami, highschool reunion

      by , 01-13-2019 at 09:23 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      In India, among orphans adopted by some guy that provided them food and shelter at some ruins. There are some western kids among them, I am one of them. We are treated differently, like we eat the cheapest food, no meat when there is some, like we belong to a lower caste. But things are changing, some day someone decides to share a can of tuna with us and some kids are angry about it.

      Learning about satellites and going through an interactive apprenticeship on how to pair them in orbit so they send signals to each other around the globe. We're at some kind of lighthouse by the sea. We come outside to look at the stars and we see satellites lasers aligning - I think it's augmented reality through a glass screen placed in front of us. Almost looks like we're watching an aurora. Then there is some talk about how the earth reacts to our invasion and something falls out of the sky into the ocean. It's dark, but I think I spot a wave and I scream "tsunami alert" and indeed a tsunami approaches. Me and a guy and his dog are the closest to the ocean and have no time to run away so we go inside hoping to get upstairs, but it is too late, we are swiped by the incoming water and projected through the back window against some roofs on a lower building behind this one. We hang on that rooftop until the water subsides. In the morning some military guy comes by and asks if we're ok and then treats me with familiarity. I take time some time to recognize him, it's Fermi. I am covered in some gook and he jokes about it, while also making some sexy stares at me. He helps me get down, I slide to his arms and I also feel some chemistry there.

      At a version of my high school with Zilla and others unknown. Kind of a reunion. We talk at times with different people, pose challenges, discuss topics. One girl who is now a famous actress sings something in a context and she sings beautifully. A person by her side makes comments, asks if any of us can sing too. I say not so well but I do. Someone suggests we make a song to perform later. Something experimental. I suggest something I was once suggested to explore, what would sound like the sound of silence. I make some suggestions, but people get lost. The singing girl goes compose something alone, had some inspiration, but comes back with a punk rock song completely nothing to do with the challenge. But she is very proud of her fist written song. Then I am going through my purse and cleaning it because it got dirty with something and I find a bunch of notes at the bottom, a few hundreds euros I had put aside and forgot I had. That cheers me up. Then I meet Vera and she bullies me a little as if we were still kids, drags me down to the common room where kids play snooker and such. I try to get rid of her. I see a baby girl walking apparently alone and she is after a ball rolling but also has a big apple on her hands and is crying cause she cant reach the ball. I pick it up and put it in her hands and get the apple and see if she's happier. She is but mostly suspicious of me and doesn't want to play with me. Meanwhile her mom comes by and I explain the situation and give her the apple. Then realize I am hungry, some of us go to lunch at the canteen. I sit in front of some guy. Only food is meat with fried egg and spinach and mashed potato. I don't know what to do but I end up eating. The guy starts criticizing the food as if we are at some restaurant and I just cant stand but stay quiet. Then he complains the meat whatever and I tell him "you know, I am actually a vegetarian, mostly vegan, but I am eating this because I was taught to respect whatever food is offered to you without judging. When I have the choice I don't eat this, but I am a guest. Also, there is nothing wrong with the food, it is tasty and billions of people would love to have such meal." The guy is embarrassed and eventually leaves after eating it all. Then some girls to my side who heard the conversation want to know why I am vegan. One asks something about health and I say its not for health. Another one asks how this damaged my social relations and family and I tell her not at all and others have changed too through my example. Someone says vegans are pushy, I say I am not. Then one has a theory about how my decision is actually misplaced, that something wrong in my life and romantic life was missing something, that I do this to fight some angst against patriarchy or some shit like that and I am about to explode like "WTF are u talking about? I did it out of awareness of the animal suffering, what does that have to do with that shit???" And she starts talking lots of BS and I lose her and I wake up.
    14. Tuesday, December 25

      by , 01-03-2019 at 11:58 PM
      I am driving on a wide road that feels sort of residential. I donít see any houses, but there are some buildings a ways back from the road. Itís raining and, judging by the puddles all around, was raining a lot harder. I round a corner with enough speed for my tire to throw water from a puddle onto a girl on the walkway by the road. The girl looks early 20s and Hispanic. She has her hood up and is carrying something with both arms. Her face is shocked and saddened. I keep driving, as I did not intend to do that, but I look in my rear view and see her still standing there, staring at me driving away. I feel really poorly and I also see the beach towel on the passengerís side floor (the blue one that really is in my car right now), so I stop and start to reverse. The girl sees me backing up and starts to run away. I keep reversing, then stop and get out, holding up the towel. She sees it and stops and then runs to me. Her appearance is completely different; she is a really tall white girl (same age range) with dirty blond hair cut in a straight line at the bottom of her long neck. Sheís wearing a slightly alternative style - flared and slightly flowing black pants, and earthy green tank top, and I think a brown vest and maybe some jewelry. There are two barbell style piercings on the vest with only the silver bead showing. The vest is worn more so around them. The first thing she does is come in for a hug. I lightly hug her with the towel. When we pull away, I see that it looks like she is about to cry. I also can smell a perfume musk and her neutral breath. I tell her that Iím really sorry and that I didnít mean to and that I feel really bad. She tells me itís okay. I feel tears welling up in my eyes and have to hold them back.




      I am in some house, but it feels like I am working here. People come up and ask where things are and I show or tell them. The house seems small, with a low ceiling and narrow hallways with sharp turns. It seems to be unfurnished except for a few rooms. An older couple wants to know where the DVDs are, so I have them follow me. I accidentally take them to a small bathroom that seems to be at the end of a little alcove in the wall. There is a shelf in here, but no DVDs. I tell them oops, this isnít it, I overshot it, and have them follow me to the right spot. This correct spot is a covered porch outside. It may be more of a gazebo, but it seems too close and connected to the house. Surrounding greenery compliments the wicker and woven white. The shelf of DVDs is out here. Someone is lying on their back on a lounge couch/chair with their eyes closed and a large pillow over them. Someone starts to move the pillow. The pillow is mostly concealing the body, so I think they may not even see her, but I do tell her to stop, thereís someone under there. Her eyes stay closed; I think she may be asleep or meditating.




      I have gone into Discology. The building is completely different, and there are no records here. Itís still a one room shop, and thereís a large counter along one wall. (It vaguely reminds me of a dispensary?) The lighting is dim, and there are tall black shelves. It seems tidy. I think there are antiques, rocks, minerals, etc. I am walking out, but catch a glimpse of David behind the counter and feel bad about leaving without saying anything to him, so I go back in. Thereís a tall black shelf to the left of the door, and on it is a geode that I start looking at. Itís probably about two feet long and one foot high, and the front is completely flat and glossy. Itís a shiny but natural red. There are veins along the top and bottom that are darker and denser than the rest of it. David seems quiet and kind of unfriendly. I have to say hi, but he says hi back nicely enough.




      I am with Sage, and we are going to hike Mt. Rose. I pull into a pretty full parking lot as it is still dark out. There are a lot of people out, all starting to hike. (This place is not the Mt. Rose area or trail; it reminds me of Rancho San Rafael and the hot air balloons). The main trail is through some tan grasses right off the road going uphill. Other trails branch off, but go in the same general direction. There are people on all of them. Sage says something about high ground or staying high. I think we both have backpacks on, but I have little to no water and no food. I tell Sage I have no food and ask if she brought any. Iím worried about possibly getting faint. She says she didnít bring any but that itís okay because we wonít be going to the summit. She tells me she canít go that far anyway, and I remember that she canít. I think I took it slightly for granted that one would be able to go that far. I think we might just go to the look out, but think thatís pretty far too. We end up only going a little ways before we turn around. The weather seems very mild, maybe even spring or summer.




      (Since Iím with Sage, this may be part of the last dream?) Sage and I are on a school bus. Iím thinking weíre going to get off now, but the bus turns around so that its door lines up with the door on another school bus. Both doors are opened so as to create a passage from one bus to the other. People from this bus start getting onto the other this way. Sage and I do the same. I think Iíll just have to get off at this busís first stop. Itís a tight fit somehow between the two buses; I sort of have to squeeze through. This bus is crowded and small. It is Alice-in-Wonderlandesque, in that it looked normal size from outside, yet tiny inside, even though the people look regularly sized. Sage is at an aisle seat only a row or two back. I canít see an empty spot except for the first row to the right with a guy in it. I take it. I am scrunched up, and my legs take up most of the aisle, but I guess itíll have to work. I watch the lady bus driver survey the bus and its passengers through the rear view mirror with that look that all bus drivers seem to have. I think sheís wearing a hoodie, pulled back brown hair, and dark sunglasses.




      I am at Lilyís momís house. Dad is with me, and I think weíve been out doing something. She looks mostly different (almost like a conglomerate of Susan and Carol, now that I think of it), with medium length blond hair. She lounges on the couch as I notice a Virtual Reality device on her head. (It looks like the picture on the box of the one at JCPenney). The black strap is at an angle like that of an eye patch, causing the device to sit on her left temple. The whole thing is very casual, almost as if it were a hat or a cellphone in a pocket. I can hear it nonchalantly talking to her. Sheís talking to us and only occasionally gets distracted by the device. At its reminder, she gets up to write something on a calendar. I go with her. After sheís done writing, she tells me to sit, make myself at home. She asks if I want tea; it sounds good, though Iím not sure I say yes. I think there are spring rolls or potstickers set out on the small counter.




      I am with Melissa for some Girl Scout? event. It is outside, though one section seems to be partially Ďinsideí a covering or awning. I get into a line for food thatís set out on long cafeteria style tables. The plates of food are very small and have sections like frozen food trays. I think thereís chili and rice (and something that looks like the seafood antipasto from last night). I serve myself a small portion and sit with some unfamiliar but nice seeming people. At one point, I went up to Melissa and another lady in another line. They both have wet but empty shot glasses. I see a menu advertising $2 drinks and think that must be what that is. She offers for me to smell the glass; it smells pretty good, and I can tell that it was a vodka drink. Iíve already been drinking something, otherwise Iíd probably try one.




      (This feels like it couldíve been at the end of the last dream). I enter a dark bathroom and go to turn the light on, but the switch does not work. I quickly try it a few times more before the realization hits me: I am in a dream. I look into the mirror and at my reflection as the thought is going through my mind that I am dreaming. Instantaneously, I hear screaming and/or another loud noise and watch as my reflection fades away into darkness.




      I am coughing up copious amount of phlegm, thick and brownish, into a white sink. (*This felt quite realistic. Shortly before bed last night I had to spit into the sink).




      I am in bed with Melissa. She is naked, and I think I am too. I seem to have my body positioned correctly on the bed, while her head is towards the other side. I am touching her. At some point, I realize there are two of her, like a corporeal reflection (the axis of symmetry possibly my body). They are exactly the same, though I can just tell the one on the left is the reflected version. The two bodies come closer together, closer still, until their exposed clitorises are touching. When they do, I can sense and feel the sensual and sexual ecstasy and pleasure
    15. Sunday, September 9

      by , 12-29-2018 at 02:43 AM
      I am staying with Melissa at her house (though it looks different). Iím going to be sleeping on the floor right next to her bed. I am upstairs, while she is downstairs. Throughout the night, I wake up a few times with a disconcerting feeling. When I wake one of the times, I discover that Iíve broken her glasses. I have no memory of doing so, but I know it mustíve been me. One lens is out of the frame and cracked. I notice that the other lens is also heavily cracked, which I hadnít noticed before. I wonder if sheís been wearing them like this. It still saddens me to think of accidentally breaking them, and think about buying her a new pair. I also remember her other pair. I look up now and see her in this dim room. Comforted by her presence, I hug her. I relay to her the disconcerting feelings.



      Iím with Melissa at some food place. We get to the counter and look up at their large menu. It seems to be Mexican food. Melissa orders a few tacos, then I step up to order. I ask the guy for a certain taco, but he says he only has a steak one. I can see the taco I want on the menu, but I donít care too much, telling him thatís fine. I also add a burrito. He gives me a little container of red hot sauce. He also grabs a bottle of a more orange looking hot sauce. He squirts some towards me, most hitting the counter, but some landing on the floor between my feet and a little bit on my shorts. He seems nonchalant but also like heís getting a kick out of it. Iím not exactly mad, just a little put off that it got on my shorts.



      I am in a parking lot, where Mom has gotten into a verbal fight with Ashley (from the preschool, the one Melissa also worked with). They are yelling at each other, over something unknown, as I reach out to hug Mom and then attempt to do the same to Ashley. She doesnít let me, so I desist. I then contemplate taking Momís side and fighting back. I go over to her silver SUV and tap it a few times with my fist. There is an unstated knowing in her hesitation as I walked over to it that I had intent to damage it.



      I am driving up a narrow and winding road on a hill and through a small neighborhood (pretty much a house on each side of the road, i.e. no more than two deep). Iím calling it Stead, even though it looks nothing like it. I hear Dad on the phone with Matt. Dad is declining going to a party tonight - ďweíre party people, but just not tonight, period.Ē
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