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    1. lxx.

      by , 01-21-2020 at 04:24 PM
      The first fragment was from yesterday, I remembered more yesterday but didn't have a chance to make note of it. The other two were from today; lost most of the dreams' information due to how the morning went.



      Dream Fragment 1:


      Something about four commanders. Was supposed to meet them? Not sure. Dream took place in some concrete parking lot type structure.

      Dream Fragment 2:

      Taking a bus, it didn't look like a normal bus and only me and someone else were in it (H?), no driver, that I can remember. We got out just before a road intersection. There was a church-like building to the right, across the road, but in the dream I knew this was in the context of a university campus or something; there were a few buildings but it mostly seemed like a village area more than anything. It was quiet outside, it was day time.

      Dream Fragment 3:

      Possibly related to the previous fragment. Cooking or preparing food whilst inside a train, but generally darker than the previous fragment. I remember distant cliffs at a lower altitude but nothing specific other than a generally arid landscape. Vague memory of desaturated blue tones. Sort of day time but not very bright.
    2. Sunday, December 22

      by , 12-23-2019 at 07:38 PM
      I am at Nathanielís, watching him for a while. Iím lying on my back, with my legs straight up, him balancing his torso horizontally on my feet and holding my hands to balance. He seems to be having fun, and his personality is just as I remember it. Now, his dad is here, and he is just as nice as I remember him too.




      I am walking into what I think is a huge Walmart. As I walk in, I am cognizant of my middle parted hair hanging almost to my shoulders. Iíve decided that I am growing it out again and am pretty happy with this resolution. I also remember asking Makayla and her saying I should. I think I am going in here for a Christmas gift. I think Iíll look in the kitchen aisle for Mom and then I think for Melissa too. I end up not even finding the aisle, but end up by the cases of water. Everything looks like it is in bulk. I also notice bulk sized jugs of different tequilas and vodkas for around $10. One is called ĎJimmy Johnís Vodkaí, which I think cannot be that good. I then get the idea to look at the beer, just to see what they have. There is a somewhat small selection on a few shelves, but then I notice that it is labeled Ďnon alcoholicí. I step out into the wide and long main aisle (almost the size of a street) and notice a guy coming towards me on a bike. I started stepping into his path, but then wait for him to pass. I think I am also aware of my eyesight and how it is not that good. I have found the beer aisle now, which seems to be mostly six packs of cans in cardboard boxes. Nothing really looks that appealing. One says ĎFinally Harvest Timeí and has a graphic of a moon and the silhouette of a person. I think that canít be that good either. Now, I am by some food products and wonder if I should just grocery shop while I am here. I donít have a basket, but I can carry a few things. I am looking at the breads, thinking about what I would use them for. There is one that looks like four large pretzel rolls. I then notice the same package in someoneís cart, and the bottoms of the rolls look slightly burned. At the end of the aisle now, I see a large, circular, plastic container of frozen chicken tenders. There seems to be three groups, each arranged around a thing of sauce? The label indicates that it is a Phil Lesh brand, which I think is cool. I pick it up, contemplating getting it, but put it back because itís really big. Then, I hear Phil himself over the intercom, saying that itís my last chance if I was thinking about getting those. His voice is calm and monotonous, which makes it sort of humorous.
    3. Thursday, October 10

      by , 10-14-2019 at 07:25 PM
      I am with Melissa, in her room. It seems like it is night time, though not super late - probably a little after everyoneís started to go to bed. I hear what sounds like her dad getting home and coming into the house. Inside now, I hear him calling for me specifically. Iím a little taken aback at him calling me directly, and I look to Melissa. She shakes her head no. I think weíre both undressed, probably post-coital. I decide to go out anyway, putting on a shirt and pajama pants. I donít think Iíve put underwear on, and I look down to see if thereís a noticeable bulge. I go out to the kitchen or the hallway right before it. He has brought back chocolate and wants me to try it. The Ďchocolateí looks like a plate of rice and beans, and if itís really chocolate it looks pretty convincing. I try it and canít tell which it tastes like. As I raise a spoonful to my mouth, I see something on my hand catch Carlosís attention. He asks if I had a bloody nose. Using this perfect excuse, I say yes, I mustíve missed a spot cleaning up after it.




      Iím in the backseat of a taxi with Melissa, Brittney, and Katie. on the back of the seats there is a screen for gambling, along with buttons to press and a place to insert money. I watch Katie try it and lose $20 right away. For some reason, I try it out too. At first, I think Iíve lost $20 also, but then I see I have a $60 payout. I take the money, but then Brittney starts using some of it to play. I think she loses some of it. Iím kind of irritated, but I still come out with more than I started with. I think the taxi has been in some drive through this whole time?
    4. Monday, August 26

      by , 09-23-2019 at 09:16 PM
      I am on a road trip with Dad and Makayla, with Dad driving. We are going to Texas, and I see that weíre currently driving through a corner of Utah. It is like I am seeing a satellite map of a moment, and I notice that there is snowfall on the ground right above where we are and will be travelling. It zooms and pans to the right a bit. We pass by many lakes in a short amount of time. They are all fairly small, but they are beautiful. The water is clear enough to see the bottom of an entire lake as well as all the light colored and large rocks within.




      I am in a store with Sage when I grab off of a shelf at about eye level a bottle of Lagunitas beer. I think I had been looking for it and am excited to have found it. I tell Sage how good it is as I open it up. I grab a glass from the shelf and pour the beer fairly vigorously into it, producing only a small, snow white head. The beer has the appearance of carbonated white grape juice and smells of the same. I take a sip and it is good. I pronounce Lagunitas funny and kind of laugh about it. Now, I am parking on the side of a residential street behind another car. Dad is on the lawn of this front/side yard, faced away from me; I have come to meet up with him. I think I have brought the full glass and the remainder in the bottle, each in a cup holder. I get out and start talking with him. I ask if heíd be offended if I just stayed at Momís while Iím going to school. He hesitates, almost as if taken aback, and then replies, ďno, of course not.Ē He says I can do whatever I need to focus on school. I notice weíre under a large oak? tree that splits near the bottom. Iím now in the house here (Dadís?), I think with Mom and Makayla. There is indication of past activity, though no one is currently here. There are two boxes of Panda Express open on the counter, each with a glass of white wine sitting too near the edge. I notice about five of the Lagunitas beers, all opened and partially finished. It makes me a little mad because he all of them without asking
    5. Friday, August 23

      by , 09-09-2019 at 11:17 PM
      I am pulling into a fast food drive through, I think a Del Taco. The curve is a little sharp, so I feel close to the curb, the menu, and the small table on the cement right by the menu. There is a lady sitting at the table, and I feel like she is looking at me. I pulled up too far past the first menu, but I can still mostly make it out; it has a list of red wines. I consider ordering a glass, but nothing seems too appealing. They all look to be $6 a glass, which I think is a good price. I now start speaking with the employee through the speaker box. She says something that I ask her to repeat, so she says it again - sheís telling me that sheís about to go home, I think implying that I should hurry up. I pull up to another speaker box? and quickly order instead of looking for something new, so I donít hold her up. I order two of one thing and two chicken quesadillas.
    6. Friday, August 16

      by , 09-09-2019 at 11:14 PM
      I seem to be at work when I answer a call about a girl in white what is following someone into the menís restroom. I go to check it out, going downstairs, I think on an escalator. This place looks like a retail store, but sort of tall, thin, and cluttered. I now see the entrance to the restrooms, with large pieces of dark wood giving a dim but home-y cabin feel. I enter the menís, which is on the right. The bathroom is huge and spacious. There are at least two separate spaces with lines of urinals along the stone? walls, each space with a different kind of urinal. The ones closer to me are stone, while I think the others might be steel. I walk up to a stone one and begin using it. It is long and low, sort of a stone rectangle with a basin. I start peeing on the stone above the basin, wondering how many have done the same before. I think there may be one other guy in here, as I seem to hear or sense motion. I look around, thinking about how this bathroom is at least the size of a large room (like in a public building or something; itís probably the size of a small restaurant). I look around and leave a different way than I came in. I walk up an asphalt path on a slight hill. There are wooden picnic style tables on either side, some with remnants of meals. The whole area is covered by a shade structure, probably some kind of mesh or light tarp, as it is not very thick shade. Passing one table, I notice a tall glass with a handle that is still mostly full of something that is a chocolate milkshake color and consistency. I somehow see a review that they left of it, about how they didnít like it? I think about trying it but donít. I now pass an ice cream stand and think about getting some but donít because itís too expensive.
    7. 24 Aug: Rap competition at a bar, kissing my love

      by , 08-24-2019 at 09:48 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At a foreign country attending some teachings. I feel a bit lost, but I meet some lady who seems nice to hang with. At lunch time I go to a place identical to one of the restaurants of a Mexican resort I have been, expecting to find lunch there. But I don't see any tables or people. This lady shows me there is a terrace on a lower level, where people actually are having lunch. She takes me to the buffet, but then we can't find a place to sit. She says she knows another nice place by the river. But it implies crossing a road with traffic and jumping over a tall fence, which forces us to climb first over a broken wall. But we manage. On the other side she takes us to a bar instead. Not what I expected and we continue not having a place to sit. But there are snacks and I eat standing. Meanwhile she grabs a cigar and starts smoking. I am starting to think she isn't exactly giving what I expected from her and maybe following her around was not a good idea. But in the process we tagged along two other cool guys, a middle eastern and a black dude.
      Then there is a rap competition on the bar and someone points out that we should listen to a certain asian lady with a guitar. She thinks she can rap but they assure us it will be a disaster. We listen and she really sucks. Not only she raps to a melody on the guitar but she kinda sings instead of just rapping and also very badly, so it doesn't make any sense. Meanwhile I notice my dad is there and so is her mother. I comment to my dad that even I can sing better than that and he agrees. Then the judges totally destroy her and also attack her mother for not having been truthful and telling her daughter she sucked. She says she thought she should always encourage her. The girl is confused, she really believes she is talented. In the end, the mother makes a sweet statement showing her unconditional support to her daughter and everybody cries, even my dad, but he leaves to hide the tears.
      Then my immortal beloved comes out of nowhere and is also there commenting the music. He takes me to another room, where we are alone. But he looks very cool and distant, just talking about musical technicalities. I don't understand what's up and I am completely fixated in his eyes, trying to read his real thoughts. He starts blushing and stuttering. I realize I broke the barrier. I take two steps towards him. Don't do anything besides being damn close to him and still fixated in his eyes. He tries to go back to a discursive thought but he can't. He just breaks down and leans to kiss me. It is magical how completely vulnerable and lost he appears to be. The kiss is the most realistic one I've experienced in my dreams with him so far.
    8. Saturday, August 3

      by , 08-10-2019 at 06:52 PM
      I am inside what feels like a gas station, kind of like a Maverick. There is a rolling grill containing the typical gas station hot dogs. I look at the two or three different types and their prices. There is a good price for three of them, so I think Iíll do that. I sort of self consciously think about what Iíd look like carrying around three hot dogs with toppings. I now put two each on their own stale looking bun. Thereís a fluid that runs off onto the bun; they look terribly under done, but still I keep them. Now, Caitie comes out of nowhere and, apparently working here, asks to see my ID. Iím not sure if sheís joking or not but, as we walk up to the counter, find out that she isnít. I pull out my ID and give it to her, noticing how long this blue counter is. We talk for a bit and I think sheís really scrutinizing the ID.
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    9. Our Mansion with Amazing Amalgamations

      by , 08-10-2019 at 01:12 PM
      Morning of August 10, 2019. Saturday.

      Dream #: 19,227-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min.



      This online dream journal entry describes and explains chronological segments from instinctual dreaming, that is, dream exploration and control without so-called lucidity. Such dreams share the same processes, often in the same order towards the waking process. Their content mainly stems from modulatory factors of both (precursory) liminal space and enigmatic space with the usual dream state indicators, vestibular system adaptation, and wall mediation.

      My dream is atypical as it provides two porch settings, one for co-occurrence with liminal space, one for enigmatic space. (Usually, one porch serves as both in an amalgam. Because of that, I mostly only use the typification ďporch as liminal spaceĒ as enigmatic space is tricky to confirm without reasonable evidence.)

      My ongoing dream vivifies with the process of exploring instinctual realization that I am asleep as has occurred every sleep cycle since I was a toddler. I find myself in the Cubitis house (irrelevant since 1978) without my conscious identity. Earl (half-brother on my motherís side; deceased) is sleeping on the floor in my old bedroom with his head oriented toward the door. It is just light enough to see some detail. I have no recall he had died or any recall of ever having lived in Wisconsin at this point (only this Florida setting). There are stacks of books on the floor. Earlís head is close to one small pile of about four books as he is on his left side (as I am in reality as sleep simulacra in dreams typically match my sleeping position). I tell him to be careful about one possibly falling on his head. (This is my subliminal directive to remain asleep, as books require wakefulness to read.) I see the moonlight through the south window and consider the beauty of my room.

      Dream processes progress toward liminal space emergence. There is a vague backstory of having human remains in a small sack (a play on being in bed). They represent the essence of my dream self being ephemeral illusory ďremainsĒ of my waking life identity. It is still nighttime. Regardless of just having been in the house in Cubitis, Florida, I am now on the front porch of the Barolin Street house in Australia. I recall I had placed the remains in the basement but in the open. I also consider I should check to see if there is enough food in the house. I wonder if Earl will need something to eat or drink soon. I soon see bright light shining up through the floorboards. I consider the basement light is on. Eventually, that area of the porch floor (south side) is missing, and I can look down to see one section of the basement. (Note that there was no basement in any house I have lived in, in Australia.) I realize I need to turn the light off, so the public does not see into our basement or start intruding upon that area.

      I go outside and walk around to the back of the Barolin Street house. Nevertheless, I soon reach the front of the Loomis Street house without a second thought. The porch door is erroneously at the south side instead of the front (east). At this point, enigmatic space emerges to a lesser degree. With ambiguity, I consider there may be people active on the street at the front of the house (even though it was the back of the house seconds ago). After I am on the porch, my perception of physicality intensifies. I vividly feel the hook as I fit it perfectly into the eye latch, oriented on the right. (This act is the most vivid part of my dream.)

      I wander around in the basement. I see various packages of food and consider how much effort was needed to place it in different areas. I see many boxes of cereal and packets of potato chips that are almost empty.

      My focus changes. I start thinking that there are two access points at the front of the house, my illusory thoughts again erroneously contemplating the front of the Barolin Street house. However, to the left would be the outside area of the Stadcor Street house. Instead of a basement wall directly in front of me, it is a garage door that opens into the front yard. I falsely recall this is how someone carried the groceries in.

      From here, I step into the lounge room of our present home (W Street). Zsuzsanna says something to me about needing a flashlight (consciousness).


    10. Tuesday, July 30

      by , 08-03-2019 at 07:44 PM
      I am going on a road trip with Brittney and I think Melissa also. I think that wherever we are going is around eight hours away. I think Brittney is going to drive the whole way, though I think about offering to help since we drive the same car. There is a sense of this being last minute, but not negatively so. Somewhere along the way we stop at a Jack in the Box? I order a number seven - some kind of cheeseburger. I think I initially said small, but the employee asks what size. I start to say large, but he remembers I said small, and it somehow gets brought to medium. Now we are waiting quite a while for our food to come out.




      Iím in what feels like the backseat of a car, sitting next to Melissa. I think Brooke and someone else are in the front seats (Brooke in the passenger seat), which seem way too close. Melissa has taken my penis out and is playing with it, I think going down on it once. A flight attendant? squeezes past in front of us, and I put my leg up, trying to hide the hardness against it.
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    11. Sunday, July 28

      by , 08-03-2019 at 07:41 PM
      I am sitting alone on some flight of large stone steps that lead down to a body of water. Iíve brought some food so I can sit down and eat it. Iím not sure if Iíve come down here to be alone or to possibly talk to some others. I think there are some others down here.
      Tags: food, stairs, water
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    12. Thursday, July 11

      by , 07-24-2019 at 07:17 PM
      I am what I think is LeadDog with Dad (Iíve never been there, but in the dream this fairly nondescript and small outdoor seating is LeadDog). Weíre sitting at a small, wire, circular table close to the wall. I think we might be with one other also. A waitress comes over for drink orders. Dad goes ahead, and I feel like I havenít really had enough time, but I just ask for the IPA. I think weíve gotten food also, and it comes out before the drinks. When the drinks finally do come, I receive a pint glass only about ľ full. Dadís is not much fuller. The beer is sort of a nice looking hazy orange, but I canít believe how empty the glass is. I am turned off by the poor service and think about leaving a bad review. Now, Dad has left me and wandered off inside. After a while, I look for him. Through the window I see him with some tan guy about his age in a tank top cut off at the shoulders. Their arms are over a stool like they are going to arm wrestle, but theyíre both holding a stein of beer. I guess the objective is to see who can hold it longer. They seem to struggle, though theyíre only 0.5 liter steins. I go inside and the atmosphere seems a little better.
      Tags: beer, brewery, food
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    13. 16 Jul: Stray kittens, duckling and vegan food

      by , 07-16-2019 at 09:28 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Some animal rescue organization tells me there are some cats at a derelict building, which they feed, but fear for them because the building was vandalized during the night. They ask me to go check. When I arrive there I find Rinpoche in casual clothing feeding some kittens and surprised to see me. There is no time to talk as some other people immediately also join us. We look after the kitties.

      Later I walk through a park and find a baby duck walking by himself in a strange place. I kneel and he jumps on my lap. I cuddle him in delight. Then spot a lake with other ducks and take him there. But he jumps out of the water and again to my lap. I feel like adopting him but not the best idea.

      Go to some expo, don't know what about, but spot some food area and go there. They have Mexican and South American inspired food, all vegan. I wait in line to order something. Try to read the menu but don't know what anything means.
    14. Saturday, July 6

      by , 07-06-2019 at 07:44 PM
      I am with Brittney and by some pool. Iím not sure if itís in ground or a small, natural pool. The water looks clear and inviting. Iím pretty sure itís a natural pool, as I think the water is lapping up against sand.




      I am outside somewhere that food is being served from a long table up against a wall. There is one in front of me, and he is getting the first large cut of a large slab of some kind of meat (it looks like the size of a small animal). I get the second slice, equally large. I put another large portion of something on my paper plate, making it just about full. I think Iíll have to come back later since I wonít have room for everything they have out on my plate.




      I think I am going on a road trip or driving somewhere fairly far away.
      Tags: driving, food, pool, water
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    15. Monday, June 24

      by , 06-27-2019 at 09:03 PM
      I am with Melissa and some unfamiliar others in what seems like someoneís home. There is some event going on where we are being fed. There is a long table with toppings and ingredients for hot dogs. There are a couple of ladies seated behind the table, serving. This table seems to be in a slight alcove. I am up now and getting jalapenos on my bun. I then get a hot dog. There is a small thing of mayo that Iím going to spread on with a knife. I think the mustard is in a squeeze bottle (*I seem to wake up right at this point).
      Tags: food, hot dog, house
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