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I started out driving from work toward a bar. I was going to meet a man there I know a bit from work, and don't really know and don't really like on some kind of date or happy hour. But I wanted to call it off, and say another woman would attend in my stead (this is a woman I do not know in real life). I did not know the direction to this bar but was driving there any way, though I did not know where I was going. I was desperately trying to use my phone to either get directions to this bar or to call this man to call it off, confused which.

In mid dream, my husband showed up and he was now in the driver's seat, and he was telling me that I would not be allowed to use my phone or iPad any more because he needed all our data plan for himself. And while I thought this was harsh, I accepted that I deserved it. I had caused the loss of the election - it was all my fault - I felt profound guilt. In the middle of this discussion though where my husband is saying how I lost all my phone privileges, I interrupt him to say that I now have to use my phone to either look up directions to the bar or to call the man I was going to meet to tell him that I am not coming but another woman is coming instead.

Side note: I found the references to my two dreams from June 6th in this dream fascinating. It's like this dream is a continuation and spin off of those dreams:

http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/joan...te-vote-47125/


http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/joan...m-lucid-47126/

Correctional Facility

[There's a bit of sort-of-lucidity right at the end of this dream, but not enough that I'm willing to call it lucid.]

One of my housemates lends me one of those red-light scanners through the bars separating our cells. I try to use it to give her ID card administrator access through the prison. From the instructions on the scanner's status display, I'm supposed to scan her card first, then scan the device that will grant her access privileges. Suddenly I notice that a guard is coming down the hall with some new prisoners. I have all sorts of illicit papers and devices spread on the floor of my cell, so I just try to lie casually on top of them as the group passes. Thankfully, the administrator doesn't notice. I scan a few more cards, but then I notice I've lost track of my friend in the confusion. I get up and walk down the center aisle of the bus, looking around at the people in the seats. Eventually, I find her [though she's a different housemate now], but the seats near her are taken, so I just grab a random empty seat a few rows farther back.

I'm nervous. This bus is taking us to a correctional facility, where we will atone for our crimes. I know it is the morally correct thing to do, but I'm worried that my time here will interfere with my studies at college.

The bus pulls to a stop in front of my old elementary school. It's almost dark out, and it's drizzling. Everyone seems to be heading around the side of the school, so I follow them. Then I realize there was a fork in the sidewalk a few steps back, and not everyone went the same way I did. But then someone shouts at those other people that they're going the wrong way. We're led into a nearby building with modern architecture (i.e. lots of windows) and up to the second floor. In the hallway up there, I see a number of doors with slots for access cards, and I'm very tempted to test my card on it to see if my earlier experiment worked. But there might be guards nearby, and I'm not sure I'd even be able to recognize one if I saw one. Maybe I'll get a chance to test my card sometime in the next few days, when I have a moment alone. But what if they chaperone bathroom trips? I might never get a chance!

I realize that I'm not carrying my backpack of stuff. What happened to it? Looking around, I notice one of the plainclothes guards is carrying a lot of luggage for the new inmates, including my backpack. I wonder if it would be polite for me to volunteer to take it back, or if he's carrying it because I'm actually not allowed to have any of my stuff right now. I decide not to ask.

After a bit more walking, I reach a big auditorium, where everyone is taking a seat. I sit towards the back. Once almost everyone is seated, the facility workers start explaining things to us. They start going through a list of attendance. One heavyset man with glasses and salt-and-pepper stubble names a person who is supposed to be here, because he was summoned no less than 351 days ago. The auditorium takes a collective gasp at that. There's no set time by which you have to answer a summons, but waiting that long is shockingly rude. Perhaps that person doesn't intend to answer for his crimes at all.

They start going down a list of attendance, but they are interrupted only five names in by one of the new inmates. "None of those people are here; we're all from Bus 84." Apparently Bus 85 got delayed somewhere. Clearly most people here know much more about this process than I do; they must have been committed here before.

Suddenly, people start pointing at the ceiling, which is made of glass. Looking up, I see some indistinct dark shapes flying overhead. Is it an air strike? Are we about to be dragged into a war? It's hard to see clearly enough to say if the shapes are dropping bombs, or indeed if they are airplanes at all. Then one of them flies almost right overhead, then dips downward and out of view under the floor. It was shaped a bit like the Millennium Falcon in miniature. No one in the auditorium is moving, but I think we're all wondering whether we should be running for cover.

The ship shoots upward again past the windows on the opposite side of the room, as if it has looped underneath us. It arches over the ceiling, then drops below view on the other side again, closer to the building than it was before. Has the pilot lost control? What's happening here? The ship shoots into view again, loops over the ceiling--and crashes straight down through the room about fifty feet from where I'm sitting.

One of the wardens shouts, "Good lord!" but they still don't seem to be moving. I guess they're just shocked. Well, damned if I'll be waiting for them. I run for the doors as the building begins to shake underneath me. Some other inmates are ahead of me, but when I reach the exit, there's no hallway: it's just a straight drop three or four stories to the ground. And the entire room is tilting, sliding, falling towards the concrete below. If this were real life, there's no way I would survive this.

I jump out of the door and land on the highway with traffic coming toward me. It's daytime now. I jump on top of the first car, then jump to the second, and continue jumping my way down the line. This is ridiculous, though, so I obtain a motorcycle from somewhere, mount it, then activate the jet engines. This is fun, but I still have to dodge traffic coming straight toward me. I bounce the motorbike into the air and activate the transformation into a sort of metal hang glider. [Interestingly, I don't think the transformation sequence had any visuals, I just sort of imagined that it was happening in an abstract sort of way.] Then the glider's jet engines kick in, and I shoot above the treetops and continue on my way.

Now that I'm out of danger, I pull out my cell phone and dial 911 to report the incident at the correctional facility. As I wait for the dispatcher to answer, I'm gliding over a grass field between two roads. There's a cute girl walking across the field. Tall, with wavy blond hair and freckles. We smile at each other. I'm about to fly onward when I remember that making out with someone is one of my dream goals! Letting go of the glider, I stumble a bit as I land on the grass behind her. This is a bit of a risk because there might not be enough action to sustain the dream--but if dream goals weren't risky, they wouldn't need to be goals.

"Hey, wait! Come back here!" I call.

She stops and watches me, looking a little defensive. I'm a bit thrown off by the fact that she's a little chubbier than she was before. It's like she's a different person, cute now in a different way. "Um, hi," she says carefully.

"I just want to make out a little." She just stares at me. "Please?"

She's still just staring at me as the dream fades to black and I begrudgingly wake up.

[IRL: Last night, I finally took out my dreaming goals sheet again to pick a few lucid dreaming goals. "Make out with a girl" was NOT one of them, though. Also, I would give a lot to know what crime I committed to be sent to that correctional facility . . . but alas, I cannot remember.]

11/14/2012
5:30am
non lucid

Spoiler for Adult Contentish:

My girlfriend and I were just leaving an awesome swimming hole when two young couples were showing up. There was a small water fall, smooth rocks to lay out on and a nice ledge near the falls. I was aware that sometimes people would strip down here and I wanted to see the two sexy young girls naked and swimming about.

Their boyfriends were somewhat homely and non aggressive so I was considering staying a little longer. One of the guys gave me three blue marshmallows on a toothpick. They tasted fine but were a little stale. He gave me another three and I ate them too.

I started to get undressed and had my pants awkwardly around my thighs when I finally realized that my girlfriend my not be approving of this arrangement. The girls were swimming already and looking mighty good. Then they crawled up on the ledge by the falls to sun bath a bit. I was having mixed feelings of arousal and guilt when the one guy proceeded to tell me that the girls had seen me hear before and were cool with me. He then told me that it was OK with the girls if I stripped down and went over to check them out.

At first I felt this was kinda of a joke but realized that they were serious and that I could actually do what they said. Thoughts of making out with them crossed my mind as well as the strong possibility of being given oral sex by the two hotties. But then a little common sense came back to me as I glanced at my girlfriend. I was about to tell the guys thanks but no thanks and leave when I woke up.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a classroom, sitting at a desk or a table. The desks, I think, were all joined together for each row, so each row of desks was like a long table. I sat at about the middle of the classroom, and just a bit to the right of the center of the row. The room was lit with a dim, drab, greenish fluorescent light.

I was probably myself, at my age. But I was sitting among a bunch of kids in about sixth grade. Everybody around me was probably Latino.

I turned around to my left and faced the back row. Everybody in the classroom was getting ready to take a multiple choice test. I was telling everybody in the row behind me how important this test was, but how everybody would do well in the test, because everybody was really smart.

The test had now begun. I noticed that one of the kids, a boy sitting more toward the left of the center in the row behind me, was doing his test in a weird way. The boy was kind of overweight. He wore a black heavy metal t-shirt. He had his hair shaved into a style a bit wider than a mohawk.

I remarked to somebody in the row behind me -- either a woman my age or a girl the boy's age -- that the boy was answering all his multiple choice questions with only one letter -- either "c" or "d." I laughed at this, hoping to share the laugh with the woman or girl. I probably implied that only a stupid person would answer all his questions with the same letter.

But now the test was over. I realized what I'd done. After I'd given such a nice speech, telling everybody how smart they all were, I'd singled out one boy as being stupid. I may have caused that boy to lose faith in himself. And I may have made myself look like a cruel kind of idiot to everybody else.

So now, to make up for what I'd said, I started giving some weird speech to some group of kids (and an adult?) near me. It was intended for everybody to hear, especially the boy. But I was acting as if I were just saying it spontaneously, and like I didn't think the boy was going to hear it.

I basically said something about how everybody makes their own choices on a multiple choice test, and how everybody determines the choices that they make based on their bodily rhythms. So whatever patterns a person makes out of the choices on the test, those patterns are good, because they match the person's bodily rhythms.

The boy stood up from his desk. He walked toward the right side of the room, then up to the door of the classroom. I could tell he felt bad about my having made fun of him. And I could tell he thought the speech I'd given in an attempt to make him feel better only made him think I was an idiot.

I called out to the boy before he left the room. I said something to him, but I don't remember what. The boy turned around a little bit, not facing me, really, and said something to me, kind of mocking the way I'd made fun of him.

Dream #2

I was in some building. I had headed away from the first floor atrium of the building, and was now headed up a stairway. The stairway was wide and went up to a second floor or mezzanine area.

Another stairway, a bit narrower, went off to the right, from the second floor to some higher floors. This second stairway looked out onto the first floor atrium area.

As I was reaching the top of the first stairway, a guy stood at the foot of the second stairway, looking down to the atrium area and talking to a woman who stood there. The building was really quiet, even though it was really big, and the woman was the only one down there.

As I approached the staircase, I thought I'd just edge past the guy and let him keep talking. But the guy saw me, so he started walking up the staircase, in an attempt, I guess, to keep moving ahead of me. But he kept talking to the woman.

The staircase had two sides, divided by a railing. At some point, I tried to get onto the other side. But somehow the guy was blocking my way from doing that as well.

At first I kind of liked the guy. He was a white guy with pale skin, a kind of round face, a red beard, and read hair. He wore squarish, thickish eyeglasses, a cap, and a plaid, button-up shirt. He reminded me of a really nice guy I knew in New York, who now lives in Chicago.

But the more I looked at this guy, and had to listen to all the crap he was saying to the woman, the more I realized I didn't like him at all. He even seemed to be getting fatter and more annoying-looking. I wasn't going to be patient with him. If he kept blocking my way, I was just going to push past him.

But as soon as I pushed past the guy and started walking more quickly up the stairs, the guy started walking more quickly up the stairs himself, as if he had to keep up with me, or keep one step ahead of me. The whole time he was doing this, he was still trying to keep up a conversation with the girl down on the first floor.

The staircase got narrower and steeper. Also, somehow, it got twisty, like a helix. I had kept going faster and faster, to get past the guy. But he kept going faster and faster, to match me. At some point, he finally stopped talking to the woman. The guy and I were just in an all-out race.

By this point the staircase was so steep, it almost felt like it was inclining backwards. I had to hold onto the railing just to keep my balance. I didn't even know if I'd make it to the top of the staircase. For the final few steps, I had to close my eyes. The very last step was incredibly difficult.

The top of the staircase was some kind of small area, like an administrative area in a university library. I walked past the balcony that was around a staircase, then through a small hallway, then into a little kind of hallway-like alcove off to the right.

The man who had raced me to the top of the staircase was following me. We both sat down on a bench in the little alcove area. The guy sat to my right. He slumped over on his right side as we sat.

The guy started complaining to me. He was upset that I'd beaten him. (I'd only beaten him by half a step -- if that much.) But he was making it sound like I'd purposely pushed him really hard. Because I'd pushed him hard, I'd injured him somehow. So he was going to get me in trouble for injuring him.

I had stood up at this point, probably because I didn't want to listen to the guy anymore. I might have thought I was going to walk away.

But now the guy stood up in my face. He wasn't wearing a shirt. And he looked a lot different. He was clean-shaven, with a square, close-haircut and brown hair. He had a wide body, like good muscle slowly going flabby. His eyes were, at first, kind of pale blue.

The guy shouted at me that I shouldn't have pushed him so hard, because he had diabetes, and now his body was messed up in all kinds of ways.

The guy's appearance changed a little again. His irises now had a pale, reddish tint to them. I even thought to myself, Is this guy an albino?

And now, on the guy's chest, there was a tattoo. It was like a double-headed "triangle," or an abstract mountain with two peaks. But the left peak was slightly highter than the right peak. And in the body of this "triangle" was a vertical rectangle, solid black, with a wide, diagonal strip of white running across its center.

I felt bad for the guy. I didn't mean to get his diabetes all messed up. Plus -- for some reason, the guy now reminded me of a female-to-male transsexual. Something about this was turning me on, like I was attracted to the part of the man that was still female.

So I decided to be gentle with the guy. I tapped either the guy's chest or back with the back of my hand. The guy's body was still sweaty. We both sat down on the bench. I started saying something nice to the guy.

I feel that this one is situated somewhere "Jistebsko" or so.
I am not sure how it all started, but there is an old lady living in a little house near a big one. She is a mother of the man living in the big house. I know her somehow. I think there is some money involved. Then once I go there with some friend and the window is open. I just get closer to the window and smell rotting meet. Then I spot her lying on the floor. She is dead. I am not sure what to do. For some reason I think that people might suspect me of murdering her. I even think that I did it. I think that I killed her with knife. So I leave. Then I come back few days later as someone calls me to check on her as they haven't seen her for some time. Well, surprise surprise!! I look inside the house again, just through the window. Now it smells really bad. I can just see her legs on the floor (the rest of the body is out of view). The meet of the legs is all bitten of my rats or perhaps other animals. I then go to the house to report that I found her dead. But the people walk towards me. They are shocked. Then they start asking me loads of questions. When they open the door to the house, the body is covered. There is a knife on the floor, all covered in blood. For some reason I think I had just the same knife. Then this man (from the house) reaches on a side... there is a little hole in the wall (near the stairs) and he pulls out a piece of paper. I take it off his hand.. I know that I wrote it. I crumble the paper instantly... than I think... "shit".. this is so suspicious. I look at the paper. Yes, I wrote it. But its about meeting some girl, some other one than I was seeing. I start explaining to the family, what the note means. I talk about Adriana (for some reason the note has something to do with her). They listen. I feel a lot of pressure on me. Then we talk about holidays... and I think "shit, I should just get out of here, somewhere far!"

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was out in a park, possibly as part of a school group. We all had to run a mile course around the park. For some reason this seemed like a lot to me.

We started running on a narrow dirt path. There was a dense row of short trees or tall shrubs, like junipers, to our left. I didn't really see anybody, and I myself felt like I was disembodied and floating over the dirt trail.

We worked our way up a hill and then turned left, out onto a wide lawn of dry, tan grass. To the right was a residential area. I don't think it was a part of the course, but I ran out there anyway.

My sister may have been with me. We went up one street, then turned back down it and headed toward the park. We then turned up another street, which curved around to the right a bit.

Just around the curve we saw a group of "gangsters" standing all the way across the road, blocking the street. The "gangsters" were a group of four or five tall, white boys wearing baggy jeans and t-shirts.

I knew those guys were nothing but trouble, especially for some guy and girl by themselves. So I turned myself and my sister around. We were walking by this time.

I was still afraid of the "gangsters" up the block, but I kept walking calmly. I was a little worried about whether my sister (who may also have been like my girlfriend) would think I was a coward for being so afraid.

As we approached the park, where I saw a few of my classmates (?) milling around after the run, I heard some hip-hop style song that I knew was popular. It was called "Destiny." (I had the melody in my head for a while, but I can't remember it now.)

I suddenly got really afraid. It was like I'd gotten so close to safety, I didn't want to lose it now by having the "gangsters" catch up with me. So I ran all the way into the park, and even past some small pine tree twenty or thirty meters into the park.

Dream #2

Two boys were driving a car on some road through the forest. The boys were both white, smart-looking, with kind of shaggy hairdos. One of the boys may have worn glasses. Some 1970s style song was playing on the car's radio.

The forest outside looked fake, almost as if it were a slightly grainy or overexposed projection, like for a music video. The view of the forest then changed to a view of fields of some kind of red-purple, thistly flower (which I'm pretty sure I mistakenly thought of as poppies).

The song also changed. It had previously been acoustic. But now, playing the same tune, it became electric.

I knew that something bad was going to happen. The music had become too "fateful." And now the car crashed into a tree. I may have thought at first that the boys were dead. But they were now outside the car, standing as if hiding behind it, looking out for some place they could go for refuge.

The two boys were on the outskirts of a college town. I may have thought it was Oxford. I was now in the scene, possibly as one of the boys or as myself. There was a tall church behind another, shorter building. The church seemed to be made of tan colored stone.

An old man pointed the church out to us as one of the most famous buildings in this town. I mentioned another church, probably designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. The man sighed in disgust and waved me off. He may have made a comment about how modern architecture isn't any good.

I was now in some different area, walking away from a different old man and a couple other people, possibly including a woman. The old man made a comment to the woman about how she should be careful, because it was going to rain today.

I walked down a straight road with flat fields of tall, tan grass (?) on either side of me. I wondered if it really would rain. It was so sunny right now. I didn't see how it could rain.

But suddenly it started raining. It was a pretty heavy rain, and there were no clouds in the sky. I thought that it would only get worse once the clouds got here. I knew that would be terrible. I had a long way to walk, and no umbrella. I'd be soaking wet when I got home.

I decided to fly home. I simply levitated myself into the air. I got three or four meters above the ground. Soon after I started flying, it stopped raining.

But I felt unstable, like I could fall at any minute. To stabilize myself I pulled off my backpack (?). I re-fit it to myself, so that I was now using some bottom flap and belt-like straps as a seat. I now had a a lot more stability.

I was pretty excited that I was flying "in waking life." But I told myself it was nothing unusual, and that as long as I stayed calm I'd keep flying.

I flew up toward a pretty thick intersection of power lines. I thought I'd fly over them, as "in the past" I'd always flown under them. It was tough, though, from this distance, to get a steep enough angle where I could fly over the wires.

Suddenly my sister was with me. I now saw some insulating coils connecting the wires to the poles. My sister, apparently thinking the coils were transformers, cried out, "Pop 'em! Pop 'em!" It was like she thought I could explode transformers with my mind.

I may have tried to explain to my sister that I wasn't trying to focus on that right now. But suddenly we veered away from the road and the power lines. We went off to the left over a field, but probably near another road.

I could see that up ahead was an intersection with a few buildings and shops, like a kind of busy rest station out on a long highway. But I was suddenly afraid to get up there. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to see the place once I got there, as if I didn't have enough "imagination" for it.

I may have tried to remind myself that this was waking life, not a dream. If this was waking life, I wouldn't have to "imagine" that busy rest area. It would just be there.

But my fear was too much for me. And I landed in the field. My sister and I turned around and walked back toward the road we'd veered off from. There was now a big mountain on the other side of the road. The road itself may have been a little up on the mountain's face.

Dream #3

I was in "my family's bathroom" with my sister. My sister was telling me something about how to take a shower. It was pretty inconvenient, because there was something cluttering up the bathtub.

My sister was now gone, and I was all by myself. But, in the place of a toilet, my sister had left something like a gigantic potty-training seat, which was blocking up a lot of the bathroom. On top of that, there was something like a big head from an almost life sized action figure on the toilet seat.

I thought something to myself like, Isn't that just like my sister? To leave intruding signs of her presence, even when she isn't here? (My sister is *not* like that IWL.) But I decided not to be bothered by it. I'd just go take a shower.

But as I was getting into the shower, my mom banged on the door. She said, "I've got some bad stuff on you! Now I know what you've done to those kids!"

I thought, All my life I've been waiting for my mom to pin some kind of big thing on me. And I always knew it would have something to do with kids. There's nothing she could legitimately blame me for. But I'll find out what she's going to try and pin on me.

So I left the bathroom. My mom was sitting in the living room with my nephews, who were all little. My mom said, "You bought those kids Transformers for Christmas! You know they can't transform those things. It's just too frustrating for them. Plus, the parts break off! That's too dangerous."

My mom was playing with a little, yellow Transformer, about the color of a Caterpillar tractor. The Transformer had a little button on its chest.

I agreed with my mom that I'd made a bad choice in toys for my nephews. But I couldn't see how that would make me a bad person.

I looked up or over to a long set of drawers. On top of the drawers there stood a big toy. It was green and plastic, and it looked like a weird mix between a Venus Fly-Trap and a crane. The claw-scoop of the crane was connected to the rest of the toy by a black, elastic string.

The claw-scoop was closed, but I saw out of the top of it some pieces of what looked like a gigantic version of the Transformer Optimus Prime. Put together, I guessed, this Optimus Prime toy must have been almost a meter tall!

I got the idea that you could break apart the Optimus Prime toy. Then you could make the crane pick up the broken pieces. But -- somehow -- when the claw-scoop opened, it would actually move all the pieces together in such a way that the toy would be reconstructed.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was laying down in a living room. There may have been a small party going on somewhere in the house. I was laying on the floor, possibly under a blanket, and surrounded on either side by a lot of clutter. The room was partly dim, as if near me there was a small, incandescent lamp, while everywhere else the room was unlit. Beyond my feet, in the distance, I may have seen the bathroom, which may also have been lit.

A small, blonde woman straddled me and lay down on me. The woman was really thin, and her body was really tight. She was almost as short as a twelve year old girl. The girl wore a short skirt of some kind of colorful, plaid material and a g-string (I saw it in my mind's eye, not with my "normal" vision).

I also had my clothes on. But it almost felt like we were both naked and having sex. The woman's body felt really good up against me.

I thought we should go to a bedroom, so that we could actually take our clothes off and have real sex, instead of whatever we were doing right now. We stood up and walked into a room just off to my right. We stood in the bright room, before a bed that was kind of high -- the mattresses came up just about to my sternum.

The woman and I may have been getting ready to have sex. But suddenly I got an image in my head of my friend H. I thought that since she apparently liked me, I shouldn't be having sex with anybody else.

I was back out in the living room, laying on the floor, possibly waiting for H to come lay with me. I found some of the blonde woman's panties. There were a few pairs of her panties, just laying on the floor to my left, amid the rest of the clutter. I picked up two pairs of panties. They were incredibly small. One pair was silvery. One was white cotton. Both had a skinny kind of cut.

I decided to try the panties on. They were so small that I could hardly get them on my legs. I figured I wouldn't get anywhere close to being able to put them on. I think I was trying to put both pairs on at once. As soon as the fabric of the panties touched my crotch, I came.

Dream #2

I was sitting at my table, holding a book like an old hardcover version of her book Raven's Wing, with the orange cover and blocky, black lettering. But the book wasn't Raven's Wing. I held the book closed and upright, with the back cover mostly facing toward me. The room I was in was remarkably like my apartment, except that it was a tiny bit bigger.

I begin by visiting a friend that I am not extremely close to in my waking life, but in the dream it feels as if she is my closest companion. The feelings aren't sexually attractive though, she has more of a sister-figure feeling. I enter and we begin watching TV together, she has just moved in to her new apartment, so there is no furniture yet, just a TV sitting on the carpet, so as we lean against the wall, I extend my arm so that she can be more comfortable.

She plays sports often, so when her legs begin to ache, I pushed down on her knees to help her stretch them out as I do have some knowledge of sports related injuries, I plan to be a doctor one day. Again, all of this up to this point feels sincerely friendly but nothing more on my side. She then does something peculiar, at first I almost think it's an accident but I soon realize she is purposefully pulling up her shirt. I reach and pull it back down, preventing her from exposing herself with a feeling of uneasiness and guilt as I feel I have led her on.

She begins to almost cry saying that she knew she wasn't pretty enough, but I quickly stop her and tell her that that is a lie. I tell her that she is indeed very beautiful, and that it is not her lack of anything that is preventing me from wanting her. I inform her that I am very happy in my relationship with my girlfriend (waking life girlfriend), that we have been together for almost 4 years and are practically engaged at this point.

In the dream I thought this would bring her some relief, that it wasn't that I found her repulsive but that I was just not available to any female because of my outstanding long-term relationship. Instead, she began to bawl and weep uncontrollably. This pained my heart, seeing a girl cry like that was killing me. I repeatedly asked her what was the matter, and why my use of the word engaged made her become so upset. She got up and ran out of the house and I chased her, begging to know what was making her so sad. When I went outside to try and find her, she was gone, and I woke up.

This is a complex dream.

Working backwards:

Finn. Something about Finn. In a large room, almost like a giant lecture hall or maybe an auditorium? Except I think there were a lot of stairs, rows and rows of stairs in a square...anyway, I know he gives me a hug, I explain to him what's going on - the press are taking pictures of me, you can google me and see them. They caught me on a boat ride with the senator (Marceu? I had to google how to spell his name, to be sure, though it had turned out I guessed right), and also another boat ride with some of his family (or something like that...friends? neighbors? people related to him). They're saying I'm having some sort of "thing" with him, which is especially controversial because he's a Republican. I work for the Democrats.

I say, "Yeah, I'm so in love with him I can't even remember his name or how to spell it." Sarcasm.

-

It's an election. The Republicans already have a strong majority in the House and Senate. The Democrats NEED to win some big ones. I'm apparently going district by district in Indiana, trying to gather support for the Dems. Each district has a candidate I guess? Must be Reps.

There's one district where no incumbent is running, or something. Should be an easy victory for Dems. Except, some Democrat says to this guy, a kinda fat and blonde middle-aged man dressed in a vaguely cowboy-ish manner, "You should probably [something about promoting a candidate] or we're gonna casino (?) this."

The Republican, who is lying on a couch, makes some smartass reply like, "Of course we're gonna do that, you think we'd just let you win?" [I'm paraphrasing; can't recall the exact words]. I'm offended and say "Well he was just being polite in reminding you, we didnt have to do that at all." He makes another rude comment.

-

Explaining the scenery is difficult. I live right near the border of another state (I guess?). Also by the water. There's this island, which I later find out is able to move. Neat. My neighbor is this Republican senator (who I later call Marceu, so I'll refer to him that way from here on out). He's kind of a jerk, but maybe somewhat handsome. Older, roughly mid-to-late 30s or maybe early 40s. He has a wife and kids, i think.

I know earlier in the dream we got in some arguments, but later we strike up somewhat of a friendship. Not a serious one - we go on a boat ride together because we're both lonely and bored. When he first approaches me I feel awkward, but we become a little more comfortable with each other.

Later, when I am again lonely (my dad is with this pregnant woman - more on that later), I take a boat by myself and circle around near his place, looking for him. I feel a little awkward, like a stalker. I wonder if I'm overstepping my boundaries. I don't end up seeing him, and I go back.

I see on the internet the press has been taking pictures of me and are speculating I'm having a romance with Marceu. I'm very offended - nothing is going on between us, we're just friends, no, just friendly acquaintances, really. I rant on my blog about it. Also, I'm kind of weirded out about having my picture taken and being famous - it's a little freaky, but also kind of cool.

--

This part is seemingly unrelated, but I believe it was part of the same dream. There's this pregnant woman - black, overweight. She's pregnant with twins. She goes into labor and for some reason the only people there to help her are my dad and I (and I think one or two other random people - a boy maybe?) , as she's unable to get a taxi or anything to get her to a hospital. So my dad has to help her deliver these babies and I'm pretty freaked. He initially approaches the situation with his usual calm and methodical manner. But he too becomes freaked and says "I can't do this." Apparently one of the babies is dead, and he has to pull out the dead one before he can get to the other. That's just too much. And there's a lot of blood. At some point, a boy was pulling other things out. Hard to explain that.

Somehow, though, I'm able to go back in time and make this better. I go back to a certain critical moment where I can ensure there are more nurses and doctors readily available. So then I'm not present for the actual labor - I believe this is when I end up on my boat ride with Marceu.

Also, at one point this island moves. Someone had to get to this island, so they decided to move the island to them instead. Sweet.

Some Fragments:

My ex keeps putting my bed covers over top of his BBQ, covering the meat he is cooking there. I keep telling him to stop, but he doesn't, saying that he likes the smokey flavour he gets when he uses my bed covers as a lid

Owen is visiting and we're trying to figure out what would be the best job for him. I am looking in his online profile to get some ideas, but I feel like I'm trespassing or snooping.

My son is sat at a large table with all kinds of fruit and veg on it. We are testing each to find out which he likes.

Flies in my Nose!

I have a sickness of the eyes and I can't seem to focus properly. Blurry, I go up to the doctor and they tell me it will be expelled soon. I sit down in a dentist like chair, or rather, I lay back, as they turn on a big overhead light. I ask them what it means that 'it will be expelled soon' and they tell me that 'it' is an insect that is in my nasal cavity. Sure enough, one tiny fly like creature comes out of my nose in a stream of liquid, then another. I am told that this happened because of the cubed tobacco I have been eating. I think of where I got it, and I see Teddy from Gray's anatomy eating it too. I picked up the habit from being around her, I rationalize.
The doctors collect the flies to send to pathology.

Last night's dream was filled with feelings of guilt and exasperation

I was at some random guy's house, helping him host a house party because he was sick. It should be mentioned that 'I' was not me - I was female but in another body it seemed.

The whole party consisted of me fetching and carrying for the host, cleaning up all of the bottles and dirty clothes (?) left around by guests, and feeling incredibly guilty knowing that I was helping this guy cheat on his girlfriend, who came home early in the end of the dream.

A bit of a masochistic dream, me thinks

This dream is one I had quite a while back. I remember it pretty clearly because it was so out of character for me. Here we go, short and sweet:

I was in a narrow field that was bordered by woods on both sides. (It's a real place, by the way. It's behind a friend of mine's house). It was dark but I could see everything clearly. Across the narrow field was the wooden part of a tractor's trailer and it was full of hay. (It's used for hayrides during Halloween time) Standing in front of the wagon is Tom Kaulitz, the guitarist of my favorite band. So I stroll up behind him...and begin violently beating him unconscious with a rusty shovel I don't know why I did it, but I did and I won't forget it XD

I feel awful for hurting him. So much so that when I have another lucid dream, I'll find him and apologize XD

I don't know how the zombie apocalypse starts in my dream. When I enter, the pandemic has already begun and where I am at there seems to be nobody around. I walk through what seems to be a large, courtyard type area outside of a medium sized cottage house. I enter the house through some French doors and flip on some lights. I had entered what seemed to be the kitchen area, though it's rather small. When I switch on the lights, I all of a sudden can see zombies meandering around the courtyard exactly where I had been only a moment before. However, they don't seem to take any care in the fact that I am drawing attention to myself. I then go to the stove and pick up a frying pan that I intend to use as a weapon.

I look out the French doors from where I just came and notice a large pipe about waist high going through what all of a sudden appears to be a extremely thick brick wall starting at the side of the cottage. Inside of the pipe is a boy who I seem to recognize, but I can't place who it is. Standing directly in front of the pipe with its back to the boy is another zombie. I can, however, tell that he's pleading for help so I begin to knock loudly on the windows farther away to draw all of the zombie's attentions. Suddenly alert to my presence, they all swarm to the area where I am knocking and begin to moan and claw at the glass. That is, all except the zombie standing in front of the boy. It stays oblivious until the boy finally decides to retreat into the pipe. Finally this particular zombie seems to take notice of movement and follows the boy into the pipe. Since the zombies are enthralled with where I was knocking on the glass, I decide to go try to help him and follow through the same pipe.

When I come out on the other side, it seems like we're in something similar to a darkly colored prison hall in aura. The entire hall is made of a dark steel. I immediately see the boy and the zombie wrestling with each other and I grip my skillet to get ready to help. The next thing I hear is the boy yelling at the zombie, "No! Don't bite me! Don't bite me!" A cold dread washed over me and I slowly shuffled around the fray and took off running down the hall, leaving the boy behind me. A guilt fills me as I hear him call after me, "No! Don't leave me behind! You'll regret this!"

Somehow I end up entering what seems to be a larger metal room filled with survivors. What's even more weird than coincidentally coming upon this group is that the boy I just left behind is sitting in the corner of the room with blood running down his arm. It seems that he was telling the story of his almost-escape from the disaster when he turns to speak to me, "I didn't get bitten by the zombie you saw me fighting. After I finally crushed his skull, I was attacked by another zombie that had found me. I could've been saved if you had been there." Almost as soon as he says these last words to me, I wake up.